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“He thinks my ass is pretty.” Had me fucking wheezing 🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂
Joel Dealing with Preggo Wife # 8- Drama Queen
Joel Miller x F!Reader
Can be read with others in series or alone
Warnings: allusions to sex, mostly fluff and comedy
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Its been a pretty quiet evening, and with you home, thats saying something. Joel's minding his business watching Tv when you come plopping down next to him on the couch. He doesn't acknowledge you.
So you scoot over and sigh heavily. Still No reaction from the male.
You feint a yawn and snuggle your head on his shoulder. He smiles a little, but doesn't look at you. You rub affectionately like a kitten.
Nothing.
Take the hint, you stupid hunk.
Your pretty manicured hand creeps on his thigh, stroking up and down senually with delicate fingertips.
He knows where this is going, but he won't entertain you. He coughs a little, bored, and continues scrolling channels. Wants to see how far you'll go to get what you want.
As if on cue, you persist. Wrapping your arm over his broad shoulders, hitching your knee awkwardly on his thigh despite the baby in your belly squirming at the uncomfortable angle. You playfully boop his nose, giggling like a flirt. He purses his lips, but nothing else.
You stare at his profile, that unique Joel Miller look of concentration. Handsome and stoic—that little shithead.
You're teasingly rubbing your fingers through his scruff, twisting gently as a massage.
You bring your lips and kiss him kindly on the cheek. Something sweet. Innocent. Then again, but a little longer. Then some more, peppered down his jaw, along his pulse. Heated and wetter. Growing more needy and nipping his ear, making little happy moans as your hand continues to wander over his legs, tip toeing to his crotch.
Joel sighs, finally looking at you. "There a reason you're trying to get me turned on, ma'am?"
"Mmm," you hum, biting your lip and staring his plump ones. You crawl closer, breasts smashed against his bicep as you lick your lips, tongue peaking out with lusty eyes trying to put him under your best charm. Yesyesyes give it to me, Fucker!
Yeah. He knew exactly this is where this was going.
"I want a Big—" you kiss his nose "—Messy—" teeth nip at his lower lip "—Hot—" you peck him teasingly, sucking his flesh in your mouth so he knows you mean business. Then you stare down at him with your serious eyes, foreheads pressing,
"—Fudge Cookie Dough Chocolate Gooey Fantasy Milkshake with extra Rainbow Sprinkles from Clyde's Creamery."
He cracks a warm smile, cupping your jaw and parting your lips with his thumb. You suck it into your mouth, hoping to please him. Just as hes about to kiss you, he leans in and says, "No. Its 11pm. Bedtime."
You get off his lap with a cold shoulder and a scoff, proceeding to ignore him for the rest of the night.
Hes evens surprised when you go to bed still silent, facing away from him without a kiss goodnight when you turn off your lamp.
Until it's 2am when he's startled awake by the sound of the the front door opening. He's storming downstairs trying not to trip, and haphazardly throwing a shirt on backwards while in his boxers, only to see you with a packed bag, hand dramatically caressing your bump with fake ass tears down your cheek going outside to the car.
"Where the FUCK are you going??" He asks, rubbing his eyes. Aggravation and rough exhaustion evident in his tone.
"You said you didn't love me, so I'm leaving," you huff. There's no hint of a joke in your words. Genuine pain. Hurt. Quiet and walking away. You dont wait to see his reaction and without another word, you turn to leave.
Hes so whiplashed, wracking his brain trying to remember any time he even remotely could have said something like that and you interpret it—
"I SAID YOU COULDN'T HAVE A HOT FUDGE COOKIE DOUGH CHOCOLATE GOOEY FANTASY MILKSHAKE because it was FUCKING 11PM AND CLOSED! Now get your fat beautiful ass and our baby back in here and dont ever pull this stupid stunt again!"
You scowl at him, preventing any physical reaction of your internal swooning he thinks my ass is pretty. You hold your ground and refuse to move from your position, defiant, in flip flops and a long nightgown on the front porch at 2am.
Joel furrows his brows and closes his eyes, soothing over the wrinkles you've caused to grow on his forehead. "Fuck. I'll get you one tomorrow morning for breakfast. Okay?"
You smile giddily and skip back inside "Okie!" You step past him drop your shit on the couch, kissing him on the cheek. "Dont forget the extra rainbow sprinkles."
He grunts, glad that it's dark enough in the house you can't see how exhausted and annoyed he is.
"Oh and close the door, Joel! You'll wake the neighbors with your unnecessary shouting bit. Dramatic much?" You scoff, and waddle up the stairs and right to bed like nothing happened.
-
Tommy also has access to your ring camera notifications and sees Joel and you out there and the whole conversation, and he's laughing so hard when he watches the playback. He teases grumpy exhausted Joel the next morning, conveniently with a to-go milkshake in his hand at 8am.
"Softy for your girl?"
"Shut up."
"And when you have the baby, then there's gonna be two of her!" Tommy wheezes.
Joel's saggy and wrinkled eyes manage to open wider than ever as that particular horror sets over him.
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