This Is Hilarious - Tumblr Posts
yeah i don't have anything to say about this one guys
I watched that edit a few more times than I'd like to admit
210315 Baekhyun’s Twitter Reply:
Fan: Snowball Baekhyun ver.
Baekhyun: Cute kekekeke the “Is there anyone to heal the wound?” expression is so cute (0:03 Outsider - Loner)
obsessed with this muppet clip where Gonzo breaks a piece of machinery and then just stares at the camera in an empty room and says ‘GUILT’ in the most harrowing way possible
obsessed with this muppet clip where Gonzo breaks a piece of machinery and then just stares at the camera in an empty room and says ‘GUILT’ in the most harrowing way possible
i didn't have "i'm broken" teenage asexual angst i had "i'm literally being the only reasonable one about this concept and the rest of you are behaving like fucking freaks" perception issues
The people in the apartment below me are playing “Never Have I Ever” and I’m smoking on my porch creeping on their game
im sorry but this is so fucking funny
New game I just downloaded, feel like I'm gonna like it 💀
I know everybodys talking about the article but its this tweet itself that makes me lose my shit
"is that the girl you lik-" "shut the fuck up."
i felt like. doodler.
This is very accurate lmao
My dad told me a Queen Elizabeth x 9/11 combo joke but idk if it works in English
Group of friends who are close because they all have the same superpower except no they don't.
🌟Aye!🌟
All in favour of reimagining Six/Stanley as a loving adoptive dad say aye.
i love that dbd acknowledges that edwin and charles have 30+ years of "noodle incidents" to confuse crystal with. imagine the gang is looking through old cases for info they think might be useful and its just:
edwin: check the case of the courthouse
charles: was that the one where we got arrested or the one where we got married?
crystal: im sorry- what?!
edwin: no, the courthouse was the one where you tried to receive your own life insurance
crystal: nonono backtrack a second- when were you two going to tell me about this
charles: ok technically we didn't get married, lewis and gina turner did, but-
crystal: im not talking about that
crystal: im talking about edwin having a criminal record
-two days later-
crystal: wait you tried to get your own life insurance
edwin: he got in a rather embarrassing argument with a receptionist over the issue
charles: its why im not allowed to be the woman anymore
edwin: indeed, we used to play the stationary game for the role
crystal: i have so many questions but lets start with this, the stationary game??
charles: rock paper scissors
i'm losing it
I think more people need to play around with Damian's speech. Don't get me wrong, I love the antiquated Victorian child style of speech, but also he's a teenager that swears plenty in the comics. We really need more scenes like:
Damian: Father, I regret to inform you that I have been assigned in-school suspension for the next three days.
Bruce: What, why?!
Damian: My classmate Kevin was disparaging a female classmate for turning him down, so I called him 'a rizz-less, basic-ass neckbeard bitch' and said I was going to fuck his mom and give her a son she'd actually love.
Bruce: *is completely speechless*
Damian: That is all I needed to tell you. If you will excuse me, I have homework to complete before dinner and patrol.
@autismswagsummit @autismswagreblogs omake edit- MOB SWEEP !!
So, I have no idea if anyone has already figured this out but I have just spent an unreasonable amount of time translating this part of the Soul Contract...just because
and like...
You are now twenty-one grams lighter
THIS CONTRACT IS LEGAL AND BINDING. WE RESERVE THE RIGHT TO USE YOUR LIKENESS, FACE, VOICE AND SMELL TOWN PLUCK IN WHATEVER NEFARIOUS MANNER IS DEEMED NECESSARY.
SANS SOUL, YOUR SOULMATE WILL NOT RECOGNIZE YOU AND WILL WALK RIGHT PAST YOU ON A COLD AUTUMN DAY. NEVER MAKING EYE CONTACT. NOT EVEN PROCESSING THAT YOU HAVE EYES AT ALL. NO AMOUNT OF INTERACTION WILL MOVE THEM TO A PLACE WHERE THEY CAN REMEMBER, IN FEELING, THE THOUSANDS OF LIFETIMES YOU HAVE ALREADY SPENT TOGETHER. EACH TIME CHOOSING THOUSANDS FORM WOULD KEEP YOU CLOSEST LIKE OTTERS HOLDING HANDS IN A TUMULTUOUS RIVER. YOU WERE BIRDS. YOU WERE TREES WITH ROOTS ENTANGLED, DRINKING IN THE SUNLIGHT TOGETHER.
WHEREVER WE GO NEXT, WHATEVER YOU CHOOSE, I WILL ALWAYS BE RIGHT THERE WITH YOU…THATS DONE, BUDDY. CONGRATULATIONS! YOU HAVE CHOSEN BILL INSTEAD!
MCDONALDS RESERVES THE RIGHT TO PUT A GIANT YELLOW M ON YOUR TORSO AND FOREHEAD AND SEND YOU WALKING THROUGH A CROWDED TIMES SQUARE WHILE YOU SCREAM "THE FRIES! THE FRIES! THEY DON´T DEGRADE IN NATURE!!! IT´S AN IMMORTAL FOOD!!! THEY WILL BE IN THE LANDFILLS LONG PAST OUR DEATHS!" GOOD GOD! THE THINGS S I´VE SEEN!
ME? WHO AM I? OH I´M BILL´S PREVIOUS LAWYER! HE PUT MY SOUL INTO A QUILL PEN SO I CAN WRITE HIM LEGAL DOCUMENTS UNTIL THE SUN SNUFFS OUT LIKE A CANDLE IN THIS SICK UNIVERSE! I USED TO BE SO HOT! I WAS SO FINE! NOW I´M FINE PRINT!
SPEAKING OF WHICH, BILL RESERVES THE RIGHT TO PUT YOUR SOUL INTO AN INANIMATE OBJECT, A STRANGE CREATURE, A CONCEPT, A SENTENCE, A TASTEFUL BUT RUSTIC MASON JAR WITH WILDFLOWERS IN IT.
IF AT ANY POINT YOU WANT TO HAVE VISITATION RIGHTS WITH YOUR SOUL, YOU WILL BE SWIFTLY DENIED. UNLESS YOU HAD A COOL DAY PLANNED FOR THE BOTH OF YOU, THEN BILL MIGHT WANT TO COME ALONG.
BY SIGNING THIS DOCUMENT YOU FORFEIT ANY RIGHT TO EATING SOUL FOOD. IT WILL TURN TO ASH IN YOUR MOUTH, A FITTING PUNISHMENT FOR A FOOL WHO SQUANDERED THE ONLY TRUE GIFT LIFE OWES YOU.
BILL RESERVES THE RIGHT TO DRESS YOUR SOUL HOWEVER HE DEEMS NECESSARY, ESPECIALLY IF YOUR SOUL WAS A NERD BEFORE ACQUISTION. SOULMAKOVERRR!
YOUR SOUL MAY BECOME FRACTURED AND PLACED INTO DIFFERENT OBJECTS. THIS HAS NO PURPOSE AND WILL NOT RESURRECT YOU IF YOU DIE.
SIGNEE HAS FORFEITED ALL RIGHTS TO ANY AFTERLIFE. INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO: HEAVEN, HELL, PURGATORY, BIG CORNER, FLOW STATE, THE DREAM HOUSE, THE REINCARNATION PROCESSING CENTER, AXOLOTL´S TANK AND CONSEQUENCES HOLE.
SIGNEE CAN NO LONGER BOARD THE SOUL TRAIN AND IS ADVISED TO DISCARD ALL BELLBOTTOMS.
SIGNEE CAN NO LONGER HAVE A PUPPY AS A BEST FRIEND, THEY CAN SENSE WHAT IS GONE. BATS ARE INDIFFERENT.
SIGNEE MAY EXPERIENCE OCCASIONAL DEMON POSSESSIONS FROM HORCULUS THE RED, PLABOS THE MERCILESS, MORBUS SON OF MORTEM, PLAGA THE OOAING AND OTHER SUCH COMMON DEMONS ROAMING EARTH SEARCHING FOR WEAKENED, EMPTY VESSELS!
TIPS FOR RIPPING YOUR SOUL OUT AT HOME: WATCHING YOUTUBE COMMENTARY CHANNELS, ATTENDING AN EXTENDED FAMILY EVENT WITH AN OPEN BAR, USING GENERATIVE AI AND ASSERTING THAT YOU ARE CREATIVE, TURNING A BLIND EYE TO HUMAN SUFFERING, AMASSING MORE WEALTH THAN NEEDED, PURCHASING A BLUE CHECKMARK...
I had fun with this and yeah...rip to anyone who signed (me included, I would have loved to visit axolotl´s tank...)