Yuuji Headcanons - Tumblr Posts

.distance - yuuji itadori

.pairings itadori yuuji x gn!reader, fushiguro megumi x gn!reader

.genre timeskip, no curses!au, established relationship,

.ongoing | completed

.tw cursing, toxic relationship, implications of infidelity

.wc; 1.41k

SUMMARY

You held each other's hands but not each other's heart, maybe it was the fact that the two of you loved another was what brought you apart. But alas, denial would always get the best of you.

You notice. The stark difference in how he treated you compared to the rest, how detached he presented himself around you; how his hand was always looser than yours when intertwined, the petty spats you would get yourselves into, or how he never bothered to correct himself every time you went to get coffee together. You were incompatible. He noticed too. How you stared at him like you were imagining someone else, how much you overcompensated your feelings for him just to prove that you were in love with him. How you came home with drinks he despised, or when you slept beside him and kept the fan on, despite his vulnerability to the cold. Agitated with the fact that you two never knew the little things, would be your downfall.

Sundays were bothersome, for the both of you. It was a day off, so you were stuck together within the next twenty four hours or so. Although your shared apartment was of a bijou and congenial atmosphere, the distance between you two was far from close, hearts apart and eyes elsewhere. Exchanges of greetings were awkward, no matter the atmosphere. His outgoing personality and your bubbly demeanour seemed to evanesce in the presence of each other, muted your mouths grew to be.

Fingers tapping against keys, or scrolling against the glass of a screen occupied your state, as he would sit beside you at a safe distance, legs spread, and arms widened out behind him, one holding the remote control as the other itched the back of his head every now and then. Time progressed slowly, and every breath the each of you took, the louder the other sighed, tired of one another's existence.

No one bothered to say anything though. Otherwise, how would you be able to see him?

Oh, how you craved for the touch of another, and begged for a day a million miles away from Yuuji, the man you considered your captor. Nobody asked you to stay, you weren't placed at gunpoint, for all of this was out of your volition; it was routine, you'd been with him for so long. An abrupt change would feel so foreign, and you'd hate to have to adjust. Hence, your relationship with him.

Neither of you compromised, simply because you weren't worth the change. Every nag you'd repeat, he'd refused to acknowledge, every whine he concurred, you'd never concede. Even over the littlest things, even if you wanted a black coffee because you would feel sick afterwards if you drank a latte, even if he wanted the regular aloe vera drink when you purchased the strawberry.

You couldn't change for Yuuji, not when he wasn't enough for you, and he couldn't change for you, not when he could barely give you the time of the day. Yet the outdoors brought another person within the two of you. A couple, content with themselves and each other, two souls bound by their hearts, a pair of minds connected because of their overwhelming emotions. You could put on an act, an alternate universe where yuuji had become your world that you'd expected him to be when you were alone, in hopes that he would notice.

He too, knew of your true intentions, how your eyes lingered upon his friend a little too long, how you slipped out of his grasp when they came to visit. Or how you muffle your voice when you take a phone call in your bathroom, leaving him to his own devices. but he couldn't let go of you either, not when your company was so attuned to his schedule, you fit in anywhere. If he didn't have time for you, neither did you. If he couldn't give you a quick phone call to remind that he was coming home late, you wouldn't bother to call back. He enjoyed the attendance of another human in his home, he enjoyed the idea of a relationship, but he didn't enjoy you, ergo the distance he kept between you two.

One would assume it was out of urbanity, or consideration, but it was the fact that he felt uncomfortable with your fingertips against the curve of his skin; discombobulation seemed to enhance in his nerve system every time you took a step too close. He disliked the way you would even open a pack of shrimp chips, the method you used to crinkle the bag together before pulling it apart by the top, disturbing his comfortable silence. He kept his distance for his own good, not yours.

You respected the fact that he kept his distance, rather, you were relieved. It was tiring enough having to hold his hand tighter than he did in public, so to create the illusion that you were still in love. But it was in your sleep when you would give in. You couldn't resist the urge to wrap your arms around his bare waist as he slept, and how you nuzzled your head in your chest as he pulled you closer, entangling your limbs in a proximity where you could be mistaken for lovers. It seemed the night intoxicated you both, and placed you under the illusion that everything was okay, and the space was never there in the first place. Although, the possibility of you and Yuuji thinking of another person in your arms at night was not unlikely and it was more than not.

But you woke up apart. Opposite sides of the bed, where the middle was kept for the ghost of your love. Yet he was there to say good morning and still get you the latte that you detested, with the shit eating grin stretched upon that face you woke up to every day. The greetings were short, and he would leave within the next hour. it was monday, so there was work.

"Megumi and Nobara invited us over today. Do you want to come?" A gentle sigh emits from him, as he struggles to puts his tie on, loosening it in the mirror to re-do it.

"I got it," you walk over to him to fix the mess he's made of himself before saying, "what time are we seeing them?"

"After work, I'll pick you up." He thanks you, and you pat down the rest of his attire, making sure he doesn't look like a total jumble of clothes thrown onto a human blob.

You nod, an indication that he was to pick you up later in the evening, and leave your shared room to prepare yourself for the long day ahead. A heavy exhale emanates and you trudge down the hallway towards the coffee maker, mindlessly getting a mug out of the cupboard before dropping it from the shelf onto the marbled floor.

"Fuck," you sigh once again, ignoring the man who came rushing into the kitchen.

"Is everything okay?" He stops your wrists from picking up any more glass to prevent further injury.

"Yeah it's fine, just go to work I'll see you later-"

"At least get this treated." He says softly, almost pissing you off.

Who was he to act all sweet today? What was up with the act and why was your chest feeling heavier and heavier within each word he spoke? His sudden kindness was a burden and you were the only one who had to carry it all.

"Just leave me alone, go to work damn it." You wince as he tries taking a step closer, realising his boundaries when you tear up at the sight of him coming too close. Wasn't he the one who would pull away when you used to kiss him?

The way he'd retract suddenly when you tried as little as holding his hands, or how his body would flinch slightly when you'd walk up behind him for a hug. It was a humiliating experience the first few times it had occurred, but as time went on you no longer bothered to shower him with the affection you felt for him tenderly.

The clenching sensation in your chest doesn't shoo itself away, but it increases as you hear him leave the walls of your home and it's not until then you begin to burst into a fit of tears. The glass that had pierced through your skin was incomparable to the agony you currently felt with the way Yuuji was acting. because there was nothing more ruminating than his sudden switch in behaviour, but you knew that this façade would disappear into thin air, taking the caring boyfriend you had craved for long ago with it.

Nevertheless, he gave you a sense of routine, like nothing was going to change and you enjoyed that. You enjoyed the fact that you knew what was going to happen today, tomorrow and for the rest of your days; because the both of you knew very well that neither one or the other would ever bring up the distance that grew between the two of you.

And it was nice. Maybe.

a/n: yeah so they're just stuck together :/ on a different note, im sorry for the inactivity and i hope u guys are doing well, ur all beautiful and ily mwah xo

Those big three