Zack Would Like Speed Racer (2008) - Tumblr Posts
CARMEN SANDIEGO CHARACTERS + MOVIES
Boo I felt like making headcanons again bc I spend more time wondering what these assholes do in their free time than I do on my job
CARMEN
Didn’t have access to movies growing up so Player, Zack, and Ivy have been catching her up on the most popular ones
HORRIBLE to watch with. Doesn’t really understand “suspension of disbelief” as a concept and will ask stupid questions the whole time. Player almost ended their friendship because she nitpicked Lord of the Rings for being “unrealistic”
Enjoys low stakes 2000s girl chick flicks like mean girls and legally blonde. She has enough stress in her life man she just wants to relax
HATES heist movies because of how innacurate they are. Team Red has taken to watching them JUST to hear her pick them apart
PLAYER
Sci-fi/fantasy junkie. Anything and everything that has aliens/magic and shitty practical effects from the 80’s/90’s he is all over
Has never said a single kind thing about the Star Wars franchise in his life. They are his favourite movies of all time
ADORES Edgar Wright and has slowly been converting Team Red to his movies. Zack loved Baby Driver. Ivy loved Shaun of the Dead. Shadowsan loved Hot Fuzz. He considers Scott Pilgrim the pinnacle of Canadian cinema
Cannot STAND the amount of remakes happening in Hollywood recently
ZACK
Canon enjoyer of blockbuster action movies. Everyone dreads the nights when he gets to choose a film bc his taste is so generic
Does not know what the Snyder cut is. Thank god
His only redeeming quality is a love of early dreamworks. Will not stop quoting Madnagascar
Has seen every Marvel movie and thinks all of them are good. Player has BEGGED him to watch better movies but he won’t. He’s the type to rag on Scorsese for being “boring”
Has seen Kevin Feige’s extended filmography. Does not know who that man is
IVY
Horror fanatic
Banned from choosing movies for film night after convincing them to watch her “favourite lesbian romcom” with her. That lesbian romcom was Saw
Ellen Ripley was not only her personal hero but also her gay awakening. The Xenomorph queen was her second gay awakening
Also loves period dramas. Enjoys the tiddies and knows she would look SO good in those fancy waistcoats the men wear
Watches old slashers with Carmen and laugh whenever someone dies in a stupid way
SHADOWSAN
Faculty considered movies “low brow” entertainment so he hasn’t seen a movie made before the year 2000
Loves a good mob flick. Got into Scorsese specifically because Zack hated him. Goodfellas is his favourite
Everyone assumes he enjoys samurai movies but he actually HATES them. Hideo would ramble about historical inaccuracies the whole way through and he’s still bored just thinking about it
Used to love Yakuza films back in the day but they were soured for him after actually living as one
Loved Knives Out, found Daniel Craig VERY attractive, and has since fallen down the James Bond rabbit hole
CHASE
The most pretentious film hack you’ve ever met in your life. He is taking you to a back alley screening of some arthouse eastern european gay porn on a first date and it will be the most profound thing you’ve ever seen in your life
Detective noir movies and cheesy black and white romances are his favourites. He likes falling asleep to them
He and Player both appreciate animation as a form of cinema, but while Player is referring to like. the Mario movie, Chase is talking about some 3 minute Russian stopmotion surrealist piece from 1951. He attends Annecy every year and has been banned from the Oscars due to threats of violence
He likes Poirot tho. Transmasc king
JULIA
If she has a few hours to herself she’d rather watch a documentary than go to a movie theatre, but she loves historical dramas
Enjoys biopics but thinks it’s stupid to make them for people who are alive
Likes watching movies for the sake of trash talking them, so she is the only person who can tolerate sitting through one with Carmen
LOVES Wes Anderson though. Chase got her into his stuff and the symmetry scratches an itch in her brain. But don’t tell him that
Also enjoys period dramas for the tiddies
CHIEF
Shitty cop movie enjoyer. The kind of person who insists that Die Hard is her favourite christmas movie
LOVES heist movies because of how inaccurate they are. Will mentally nitpick whatever secret service is going after them and be like “ACME wouldn’t do that lol”
She’s semi aware that she’s the antoagonist in Carmen’s own heist narrative so she’s started having fun with it
Closet lover of b-tier comedy movies. Like the ones with Adam Sandler and Kevin Hart on the cover
Does not enjoy watching movies socially. That is quality time for her and her cat. She does not have to shush Commander