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THROW HIM AWAY! | Han Yujin
IN WHICH yujin wants to cuddle you, but you want to cuddle mr. carrot. A Valentine’s Special
FEATURING Zerobaseone’s Han Yujin and you, a highschool au
WARNINGS: kissing and sugar sweet nicknames
NOTE: Happy Valentines everyone! Here is for my jebewon readers and Yujin stans. Love you all (muah muah muah 💋) and please help me reblog hehe~ it’s my first time writing for zb1 so tell me if you want more works for them in the future!!
MORE WORKS: navigation | zb1!masterlist
IF THERE WAS ONE THING you treasured more than your stash of shoes, it would be the stuffed bunny doll that Yujin gave you during his confession. A pink, soft plush (you named him Carrot) with a white bow wrapped around its neck. You still remembered the day he gave it to you, after school with trembling hands as he rapped out his confession, eyes looking everywhere but you. You remember accepting it shyly, face feeling hot as it implied that you like him back.
That was three months ago.
Now, it seems that you grew very attached to the doll, not being able to sleep without it. So much so that you brought it with you during your Valentine's sleepover with Yujin.
Yujin had begged asked his mother to let him invite you to his house for a sleepover as his valentines day surprise. You were excited, and thankfully, your parents had let you come. The day was perfect in your eyes. You arrived in the evening and played video games with him and his brother until dinner time. Then, you had dinner with his parents. After, you and Yujin washed the dishes before finally having alone time together.
He had surprised you with strawberries covered in chocolate that he made himself (it tasted questionable 😨 but you still ate it, silently praying that you won’t end up in the toilet bowl) and gave you a small bouquet of flowers. (it was the last of his money but he’d never admit it)
You kind of almost teared up, thanking him by giving the boy a kiss on his cheek.
After, you played seventeen matches of uno and two matches of scrabble (Yujin rage quitted scrabble which was why you played uno so many times) before it was time to sleep.
”Can I have the right side—”
”Sure, now cuddle me,” he said impatiently, opening his arms.
Unfortunately for him, luck wasn’t on his side.
”Okay, but—” you took out Carrot, “Carrot goes in the middle.”
“Are you kidding me.” (the boy was like🧍🏻🙁)
“What.”
“Why are you holding that, we’re about to cuddle.”
“Are you rejecting Carrot right now, Yuyu? He’s our child.”
”Throw him away!”
”NO 😠😨!”
“He can live without hugging you tonight, it’s supposed to be just you and me..”
“Well, I can’t live without him.”
Yujin dead stared at you, before pulling the covers over his head and back-facing you. Oh..he was sulking alright. You looked at him, then at Carrot, and sighed.
“But I guess I can’t live without you most..so Carrot can sleep alone tonight..”
You could literally hear the gear in his head run as he peaked his head out of the blanket, giving you his boba eyes.
“Really?” He asked.
You set Carrot aside, going under the blanket and sandwiching him in a hug immediately, “yeah.”
He let out a noise of complaint, but you knew that he was enjoying it most since he didn’t retaliate and hugged you back, burying his face in your head. (Thank goodness you used your peach shampoo today)
A bit of silence passed as you basked in his warmth before you broke it, face looking up at him.
“Yujin.”
He let out a hm? as a reply.
“Happy valentines, love you.”
He looked at you with lovesick eyes before giving the fastest smooch (peck) in the lips. You were shocked, and he was 😼 because he was very proud of doing that.
The boy let out a giggle 🔥 (how dare he after he gave you a bomb) and went back to his previous position.
“Love you too~ goodnight and sweet dreams my honey bunny sugar plump pie.”
“Why do you have to ruin the moment.”
“Lol.”
“Goodnight too I guess..”
It was safe to say that you couldn’t sleep well that night; somewhat because Yujin forgot to tape his mouth so he snored so loud and drooled on your head, mostly because of his previous words and actions. (You’d never tell him that it was because of his previous behavior though, his head’s already big enough…)
TAGLIST — @heemingyu @ja4hyvn @flwoie @sulkygyu @xiaoderrrr @ineedaherosavemeenow @lonewolfjinji @teddywonss
© astrae4 2024 | please don’t copy, translate, or plagiarize my works on all platforms! — inbox open for conversations and requests.
MELTING POINT | shen quanrui | TEASER
IN WHICH Emperor Zhanghao uses the imperial command to wed both you and Prince Shen. Normally, one would be happy to be wedded to a prince and become one of the most powerful ladies in the Empire. However, the young master of the Ducal house of Shen is said to be a cold and indifferent man. Oh! And did I mention that your duchy and his are enemies? Right! The cherry on top—I almost forgot that you have a weak body too haha… How will you survive the harsh Northern lands? Will you get along well with your husband? Will you be treated alright in an unfamiliar environment? Shall you just return back to the comfort of your home?
FEATURING Zerobaseone’s Ricky as the son of Duke Shen, Prince Shen Quanrui and you as the daughter of Duke Han, Princess Han Y/N.
GENRE romance, angst, fluff | historical fantasy, supposed enemies to lovers, forced marriage, northern duke au
WARNINGS non-gender neutral reader (reader will be using female pronouns/titles), forced marriage, infidelity, mention of heart attack, mild swearing, and blatant favoritism.
NOTE wc: 1.4k | to be released on AFTER HIATUS, if you want to be tagged when the full oneshot is released, then either comment or send an ask regarding this post. Thank you!
MORE WORKS — navigation | zb1!masterlist
ACT ONE: THE IMPERIAL COMMAND
WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN, all your life, you’ve been told to hate someone because they’re your family’s opponent and then all of a sudden (in a matter of five days), you need to act as if you’ve been on good terms with them? No guidebook or school course could have prepared you for what’s to happen right now.
Yes, of course you’re aware that you’d be married off to your father’s choice of family for all your life, you think you’ve accepted it already. I mean, one would think so after being reminded of it all your life right? It’s not like it’s uncommon anyways. Everyone in the nobility marries through convenience and then has flings with their lovers. It’s more common than you think. You’d know, since you caught one of your father’s friends with their mistress once.
Yet, who’d assume that you’d be married off to the Ducal House of Shen of all people? You don’t think you would have put that in your bingo (yes, bingo exists back then) list this year—or any year to be honest.
For a bit of background to the confused readers (breaking the fourth wall let’s gaurr), The Zerose Empire exists with four ducal houses: Park, which exists in the west; Kim, from the South; Han of the East, and Shen of the North. Your family, The Ducal house of Han, has always been in opposition with the Ducal house of Shen. It was a fact that everyone knew, and it was a dislike that stemmed from way back then. (one so long that you don’t even know the reason anymore, just that you weren’t supposed to like them.)
And yes, the dislike is still rooted to this day. You could imagine how tired the Emperor, other noble houses, and ministry workers were. By this point they were quite sick of the petty arguments from both the ducal households. So sick, in fact, that Emperor Zhanghao IV, used the imperial command and declared that “Duke Han shall bring forth his most beloved daughter to marry Duke Shen’s successor.”
Your father almost had a heart attack after the declaration, but it was of no use to bargain since the imperial command was used.
In your opinion, father was a pretty good man. Not perfect or clean of course, but good. Your mother was the first wife, and surprisingly, the only wife he truly loved. It was unfortunate that mother died a year after you were born because of her weak body, and even more unfortunate that her only child turned out to be pretty weak too. He had remarried once more since then, and has had a few mistresses and children out of wedlock in an attempt to cure his aching heart. Despite the new ladies, you were still the first in his heart considering you were the only child he had out of the wife he loves.
Having a big room beside your father’s in the second floor all to yourself when all the others had to be in the first floor spiked a few jealous hearts, but your father was persistent and only allowed you the best despite your not-so-healthy body. So it was to no one’s surprise that Emperor Zhanghao meant for your father to pick you to be married to the young master of the Shen Ducal house.
That was five days ago. Your father had begged for your understanding to comply with the Emperor’s words despite him not liking the command either. He had told you that it was for the unity of the Empire and that the Ducal house of Shen had promised to your father and the Emperor that they would treat you with utmost respect; and that if they break that promise, you would be sent back with ten times the alimony paid by your father. (and boy was the original alimony already a crazy amount)
You had told your father to not worry about it as you knew your father worried for you greatly. After all, in his eyes, you were still the weak baby that he held in his arms just last week. How could he send a weak child to the harsh northern lands where you were unfamiliar with everything? Of course, you had your own worries too. Different from your father’s, though. Mostly about your own soon to be husband.
Unlike your family, where many children reside, the Ducal house of Shen only had one heir. The young master of the North, Shen Quanrui, was said to be a cold man according to the rumors you’ve heard from your maids. He was quiet and reserved, only showing his face in high society once in a blue moon. Similar to you in that matter, except it was because you were often too sick to attend rather than introverted.
You too had only met him once, in the Empire’s founding anniversary ball. Though you didn’t have the best memory, you could easily recall that face of his. Blonde hair that seemed to be dyed and striking blue eyes, it was as if he stepped out of a fantasy storybook. You’re sure he wore colored contacts back then, considering that both the Duke and Duchess had dark eyes. Nevertheless it didn’t change the fact that he was probably the most handsome man you’ve ever seen. You remember exchanging eye contact with him for a bit longer than you should have, and you remember how he raked your appearance with his eyes as if he was the hunter and you were the prey. You rolled your eyes and left back then despite the butterflies you got.
The sound of your bedroom door opening strips you out of your imagination.
”Sister,” said the voice of a young boy, “can I come in?”
”Yes,” you answered, “come in, Yujin.”
Han Yujin, the son of your father and his second mistress, was the only half-sibling you deemed close to you. His mother had died early on due to the same sickness as yours did, leaving him alone to fend off all the jealous eyes around him. You had sympathized with him, so you decided to keep him close and make him untouchable as one of your people. The young boy has since then grown attached to you, listening attentively to everything you say. Now, the young boy had become strong and wise, making him one of the successor candidates.
”I heard from father that you’d be married to that damned man, Shen Quanrui or whatever,” Sulked Yujin.
”That damned man,” you sighed, “is still a respectable man who fended off the wild beasts and is a close aide of the Emperor, you shouldn’t speak of him with that tone.”
“But—sister! He’s our enemy, we’re not supposed to like him! And—and, I heard from the maids that he’s a cruel and heartless man. What if he treats you harshly and locks you up in a tower or something!? What if he’s an indifferent husband who never looks after his wife and just messes around with other women? You deserve someone who’d love you and treat you as the apple of their eye—someone like—”
”Yujin,” Your voice stopped his train of thoughts as you held his hand, “don’t worry too much, okay? It’s not like I’m going there alone. My personal maids and Dr. Seok would be with me in the North, and they would report to father if anything happened. If he ever treats me cruelly, then I’ll be back here before you know it.”
”But still…I don’t want you away from me..”
“AWEE is my baby brother worried for me~” you teased as you squished him into a hug, emitting a loud Hey! from him as he tried to get out of your tight grasp.
Whether your words were to reassure him or you; however, you don’t know.
Who would have known that you’d get married to that man two weeks from now? Who would have known that you’d have to pretend like you didn’t hate this man all your life because you’re supposed to marry him? Who would have known that the first time you’d exchange pleasantries with your soon to be husband would be in your wedding aisle? Who would have known that you’d be moving away from your father’s protection and into the cold and dangerous land in less than a month? Goodness, may the heavens spare you.
TAGLIST — @ja4hyvn @flwoie @sulkygyu @xiaoderrrr @ineedaherosavemeenow @lonewolfjinji @teddywonss
© astrae4 2024 | please don’t copy, translate, or plagiarize my works on all platforms!
MELTING POINT MASTERLIST
IN WHICH Emperor Zhanghao uses the imperial command to wed both you and Prince Shen. Normally, one would be happy to be wedded to a prince and become one of the most powerful ladies in the Empire. However, the young master of the Ducal house of Shen is said to be a cold and indifferent man. Oh! And did I mention that your duchy and his are enemies? Right! The cherry on top—I almost forgot that you have a weak body too haha… How will you survive the harsh Northern lands? Will you get along well with your husband? Will you be treated alright in an unfamiliar environment? Shall you just return back to the comfort of your home?
FEATURING Zerobaseone’s Ricky as the son of Duke Shen, Prince Shen Quanrui and you as the daughter of Duke Han, Princess Han Y/N.
GENRE romance, angst, fluff | historical fantasy, supposed enemies to lovers, forced marriage, northern duke au
WARNINGS non-gender neutral reader (reader will be using female pronouns/titles), forced marriage, infidelity, mild swearing, and miscommunication.
NOTE hi everyone! i’m so sorry for such a long wait, but thank you so much for you guys who did so regardless! this took so long to come out (initially it was supposed to go out during March) due to my health problems…but i’m happy to say that i’m fully recovered and finally going back on track with my writing plans! Thank you so much for your support, I hope you enjoy this series 💗
MORE WORKS — navigation | zb1!masterlist
CHAPTERS.
1 — the hunter and the prey.
It doesn’t really hit you that you’re getting married until your father comes in. The moment you see the tears in his eyes, you also feel your eyes water. You remember being young and dreaming of how you’d marry someone you love. You remember planning your dream wedding. This was it. This was what you had always imagined. Yet, all at the same time, it seemed so different.
2 — an unwelcomed bride.
3 — the past chases.
tba…
TAGLIST. @ja4hyvn @flwoie @sulkygyu @xiaoderrrr @ineedaherosavemeenow @lonewolfjinji @teddywonss @khaelscafe @autumn583 @lvieee @cyberstephzz @cara-rey @cuntserver8000 @yujinified @lowcalmarlboro @moncheriesu @carat-rose @fairyytyunn @taerae-verse @peachyy-moon @kaywhyessssss @cheederzchez @hueningcry @renjuneoo @totalnieparksunghoon @kuromixheartzzz @nerezza1234567891-blog @dilucpegg3r @ohsunnyboy @iraa567 @k-p0p-4ever @slimeclimbtime @paradise-world @sparkcling @fremineth @chickenscoups @kpopandbookschild (ask or comment to be added!)
NETWORKS. @k-labels @zumblrnet
© astrae4 2023 | please don’t copy, translate, or plagiarize my works on all platforms!
THE HUNTER AND THE PREY | SHEN QUANRUI
FEATURING Zerobaseone’s Ricky as the son of Duke Shen, Prince Shen Quanrui and you as the daughter of Duke Han, Princess Han Y/N.
GENRE romance, angst, fluff | historical fantasy, supposed enemies to lovers, forced marriage, northern duke au
WARNINGS 2.8k words, non-gender neutral reader (reader will be using female pronouns/titles), forced marriage, infidelity, mention of heart attack, mild swearing, and blatant favoritism.
NOTE i do hope you enjoy this chapter! thank you for the support you have given me so far! reblogs would be greatly appreciated if you’d do so ☺️💗
MORE — masterlist | next chapter
WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN, all your life, you’ve been told to hate someone because they’re your family’s opponent and then all of a sudden (in a matter of five days), you need to act as if you’ve been on good terms with them? No guidebook or school course could have prepared you for what’s to happen right now.
Yes, of course you’re aware that you’d be married off to your father’s choice of family for all your life, you think you’ve accepted it already. I mean, one would think so after being reminded of it all your life right? It’s not like it’s uncommon anyways. Everyone in the nobility marries through convenience and then has flings with their lovers. It’s more common than you think. You’d know, since you caught one of your father’s friends with their mistress once.
Yet, who’d assume that you’d be married off to the Ducal House of Shen of all people? You don’t think you would have put that in your bingo (yes, bingo exists back then) list this year—or any year to be honest.
For a bit of background to the confused readers (breaking the fourth wall let’s gaurr), The Zerose Empire exists with four ducal houses: Park, which exists in the west; Kim, from the South; Han of the East, and Shen of the North. Your family, The Ducal house of Han, has always been in opposition with the Ducal house of Shen. It was a fact that everyone knew, and it was a dislike that stemmed from way back then. (one so long that you don’t even know the reason anymore, just that you weren’t supposed to like them.)
And yes, the dislike is still rooted to this day. You could imagine how tired the Emperor, other noble houses, and ministry workers were. By this point they were quite sick of the petty arguments from both the ducal households. So sick, in fact, that Emperor Zhanghao IV, used the imperial command and declared that “Duke Han shall bring forth his most beloved daughter to marry Duke Shen’s successor.”
Your father almost had a heart attack after the declaration, but it was of no use to bargain since the imperial command was used.
In your opinion, father was a pretty good man. Not perfect or clean of course, but good. Your mother was the first wife, and surprisingly, the only wife he truly loved. It was unfortunate that mother died a year after you were born because of her weak body, and even more unfortunate that her only child turned out to be pretty weak too. He had remarried once more since then, and has had a few mistresses and children out of wedlock in an attempt to cure his aching heart. Despite the new ladies, you were still the first in his heart considering you were the only child he had out of the wife he loves.
Having a big room beside your father’s in the second floor all to yourself when all the others had to be in the first floor spiked a few jealous hearts, but your father was persistent and only allowed you the best despite your not-so-healthy body. So it was to no one’s surprise that Emperor Zhanghao meant for your father to pick you to be married to the young master of the Shen Ducal house.
That was five days ago. Your father had begged for your understanding to comply with the Emperor’s words despite him not liking the command either. He had told you that it was for the unity of the Empire and that the Ducal house of Shen had promised to your father and the Emperor that they would treat you with utmost respect; and that if they break that promise, you would be sent back with ten times the alimony paid by your father. (and boy was the original alimony already a crazy amount)
You had told your father to not worry about it as you knew your father worried for you greatly. After all, in his eyes, you were still the weak baby that he held in his arms just last week. How could he send a weak child to the harsh northern lands where you were unfamiliar with everything? Of course, you had your own worries too. Different from your father’s, though. Mostly about your own soon to be husband.
Unlike your family, where many children reside, the Ducal house of Shen only had one heir. The young master of the North, Shen Quanrui, was said to be a cold man according to the rumors you’ve heard from your maids. He was quiet and reserved, only showing his face in high society once in a blue moon. Similar to you in that matter, except it was because you were often too sick to attend rather than introverted.
You too had only met him once, in the Empire’s founding anniversary ball. Though you didn’t have the best memory, you could easily recall that face of his. Blonde hair that seemed to be dyed and striking blue eyes, it was as if he stepped out of a fantasy storybook. You’re sure he wore colored contacts back then, considering that both the Duke and Duchess had dark eyes. Nevertheless it didn’t change the fact that he was probably the most handsome man you’ve ever seen. You remember exchanging eye contact with him for a bit longer than you should have, and you remember how he raked your appearance with his eyes as if he was the hunter and you were the prey. You rolled your eyes and left back then despite the butterflies you got.
The sound of your bedroom door opening strips you out of your imagination.
”Sister,” said the voice of a young boy, “can I come in?”
”Yes,” you answered, “come in, Yujin.”
Han Yujin, the son of your father and his second mistress, was the only half-sibling you deemed close to you. His mother had died early on due to the same sickness as yours did, leaving him alone to fend off all the jealous eyes around him. You had sympathized with him, so you decided to keep him close and make him untouchable as one of your people. The young boy has since then grown attached to you, listening attentively to everything you say. Now, the young boy had become strong and wise, making him one of the successor candidates.
”I heard from father that you’d be married to that damned man, Shen Quanrui or whatever,” Sulked Yujin.
”That damned man,” you sighed, “is still a respectable man who fended off the wild beasts and is a close aide of the Emperor, you shouldn’t speak of him with that tone.”
“But—sister! He’s our enemy, we’re not supposed to like him! And—and, I heard from the maids that he’s a cruel and heartless man. What if he treats you harshly and locks you up in a tower or something!? What if he’s an indifferent husband who never looks after his wife and just messes around with other women? You deserve someone who’d love you and treat you as the apple of their eye—someone like—”
”Yujin,” Your voice stopped his train of thoughts as you held his hand, “don’t worry too much, okay? It’s not like I’m going there alone. My personal maids and Dr. Seok would be with me in the North, and they would report to father if anything happened. If he ever treats me cruelly, then I’ll be back here before you know it.”
”But still…I don’t want you away from me..”
“AWEE is my baby brother worried for me~” you teased as you squished him into a hug, emitting a loud Hey! from him as he tried to get out of your tight grasp.
Whether your words were to reassure him or you; however, you don’t know.
YOU’RE CLOSE TO SLAPPING Emperor Zhanghao. Okay, so maybe that was a bit of an exaggeration unless you want a one way ticket to a death penalty. But what the hell man. It was so (notice the sarcasm?) nice of him to let you marry a man you’re supposed to hate that he even gave you a due date of two weeks to be locked in for life. What is the meaning of marriage to him? Homework? I mean it might as well be since no one wanted this…
But here you are preparing for your wedding as the maids have meticulously worked their magic on you. Hours of hard work to make you “the most beautiful bride to ever exist that not even the cold young master could resist.” (says them) They expected him to fall on his knees and have his spring blossom the moment he laid eyes on you. Though you didn’t believe it, you still laughed along with them.
When you looked at yourself in the mirror, you were honestly taken aback. Clad in a simple yet elegant dress with your hair up, you looked like a painting. Damn, did they really outdo themselves. If that man doesn’t fall in love with you (or at least find you the slightest bit attractive) at first sight then he’s probably just not into women. (It honestly doesn’t sound impossible considering that you’ve never heard of him being in a relationship with a woman before.)
It doesn’t really hit you that you’re getting married until your father comes in. The moment you see the tears in his eyes, you also feel your eyes water. You remember being young and dreaming of how you’d marry someone you love. You remember planning your dream wedding. This was it. This was what you had always imagined. Yet, all at the same time, it seemed so different. The reality of your situation juxtaposing the wedding you have always dreamed of. Oh, to be young and naive.
You bite your lip and look down, unable to face them. It seemed as if your father could read your thoughts as he took your hands in his.
“Oh y/n…” He started carefully, as if thinking on what to say next so you wouldn’t feel upset on your big day.
“It’s fine—”
“I’m sorry.”
“What?”
“I-I know you’ve been dreaming of this day for a long time, I’m sorry we only had a short time to prepare for it. But, I promise you, I did my best to make it as grandiose as I could possibly do so and—”
“No, seriously, it’s fine,” you denied, despite not being the most pleased, you know that your father had tried his best for you and you didn’t want to seem ungrateful, “I’m just melancholic that we won’t be as close anymore. I was informed that even though the Duke and Duchess are here in the capital, Prince Shen handles the matters in the North.”
“Ah!” Exclaimed your father as if he had just realized, “Don’t worry about that! The North has the fastest trains in the kingdom. You can visit us anytime, it would only take you five hours.”
“Oh really?” You said, pretending that you didn’t know that fact, “That’s great then, I can visit anytime I want.”
“Yes yes—now come, hold my hand once more. It’s time to walk the aisle.”
You hold his arm, finally walking out of the dressing room and towards the venue. The walk was mostly silent, and no one talked until you both reached the closed door that opens to the venue.
“Y/n.” said your father in a heavy voice.
”Yes?”
”I know I don’t say this often, but I hope for your happiness. If he ever makes you unhappy, then come back to me. I’ll even commit treason if the Emperor stands in the way, haha.”
“Father…”
”I know, I know. Gosh, I sound so old. Ready to meet the son of that corpulent piece of shit?”
”Father!”
“Oops sorry, old habits die hard. I mean, ready to meet your husband?”
”Yeah yeah, let’s just go already.”
Your father signaled the attendant to open the door, and shortly after, you could hear the announcer call your title. You realize that this may be the last time you’d be called with the surname Han.
You had little time to ponder on it though, as soon the gates opened and you had to focus on not tripping on your heels as you walked beside your father down the aisle.
The wedding venue was…wow, honestly. Your father is surely a big liar, you conclude. Pretty? Not even words can describe how beautiful the venue is. You’d think the wedding was planned for two years if you were an onlooker. The venue was held in a historical building which had lots of carved statues and decorative designs. Huge pillars hold up the roof, each pillar covered in vines and flowers. The roof in itself had hand-painted art that seemed to wash out from time, and a huge chandelier held on to the roof in the middle, sparkling so bright that it seemed like diamonds. Fresh white and purple flowers decorated the guests’ tables, and all around the venue were violinists in white dresses, standing on a short and small podium, seeming to mimic the sculptures that decorate the walls.
The road in front of you seemed to be shining, and you don’t realize how near you are until you feel your father let your hand go. Ah, this was it. He transferred your hand to an unfamiliar one, and it was only now that you finally looked at your soon-to-be’s face. It was slightly distorted thanks to the veil, but from what you could tell, the man was wearing a full white tux made from silk and decorated by pearls, with a black tie to complete his outfit.
‘At least he doesn’t have a boring fashion taste,’ you conclude.
Time passes, and before you know it, you have already said your promises and ‘I do’s.
“Please exchange rings,” says the priest.
Prince Shen takes the ring first, and then holds your hand. As he puts the ring on you, you could slightly feel his hand tremble.
‘Ha?’ you think, ‘does he despise me so much that the touch of my hand makes him furious?’
It leaves a bitter taste to your tongue, surprisingly. Your thoughts make you miss the lingering touch of his thumb on your ring finger. And, when it got to your turn, you quickly put the ring on his finger, letting go of his hand right after.
“You may kiss the bride to seal the promise,” declares the priest.
You could see his hands hold the bottom of the veil, before lifting it, finally giving you an opportunity to see his face. You conclude that God certainly took a long time to make that face. His face was the same as you remembered. Striking and attention-grabbing in a good way. The only thing that bothered you seemed to be his eyes. It seemed cold and distant, yet sharp. It was as if he was able to uncover all your secrets, and it made you nervous.
You feel his hand reach out to your chin, and you hold your breath. It was like you couldn’t breath, eyes searching all over his face on what he’d do next. He leans in, and your thoughts flood in a panic. It was like you were frozen, unable to move. Your heart starts beating so loud that you can't hear anything else. What should I do? How should I react? Why is he getting so clo—
“May I?” He breathed out, and you can just feel his breath right in front of your lips.
No? I don’t know. No, thank you. No, no, no—
“Yes,” you answered breathlessly, as if finally letting yourself take in the air.
And before you could overthink once more, his lips crashed into yours, so desperate for it that you had to hold his arm to stabilize yourself. It was as if he had been waiting for this for a long time—like an impatient tiger having to wait for the right time to finally strike its prey. And, just like a tiger who never lets go of its prey, he doesn’t seem to have any intention in letting you escape.
CLARIFICATIONS IN THE STORY
An Imperial command means that if you don’t comply with it, you’re committing treason. An Emperor can only use this command a few times in his lifetime.
Why is Yujin a candidate successor but not you? Back then, only men were allowed to be successors.
“Young Master” is what the employees call their boss/client who have not earned a title yet.
The term “Spring Blossom” is commonly used in old korean folk stories and means that one has started to find love in their heart or is beginning to love someone.
“Prince” and “Princess” is the term you officially use for the daughter/son of a duke/duchess. A king or emperor’s child is called your majesty.
The term “Spring Blossom” is commonly used in old korean folk stories and means that one has started to find love in their heart or is beginning to love someone.
“Prince” and “Princess” is the term you officially use for the daughter/son of a duke/duchess. A king or emperor’s child is called your majesty.
comment down or send an ask if you’re confused about anything!
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© astrae4 2024 | please don’t copy, translate, or plagiarize my works on all platforms!
Staying. Trying.
crossposted on ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/49513432
ZB1, no ship, jiwoong-centric, autism, overstimulation, minor meltdown, stress stimming, hurt/comfort, miscommunication, crying
-
The lights were too loud, well technically everything was, but that’s beside the point. The lights in particular were the loudest.
aka
I write Jiwoong as autistic bc i relate to him a lot and bc writing technically counts as therapy. tw for overstimulation, descriptions of a minor meltdown, being misunderstood, and yelling
-
hey! i'm not writing this to say 'ooh jiwoong has autism i have diagnosed him' im literally just writing this as a completely self indulgent thing. autism (like everything) isn't a monolith and the traits i've written here are mostly my own and are in no way supposed to be representative of all autistic people :) anyway sorry for the pain
also! i couldn't find what the dorm sitch is rn so i made it up
The lights were too loud, well technically everything was, but that’s beside the point. The lights in particular were the loudest. They beamed up at Jiwoong from the front of the stage, taunting him in their directness. His ears felt like they could start ringing at any second. One minute he was excitedly waving at zeroses and answering questions, and the next everything hit him at once like a semi truck. He tucked his hands into his sleeves, grabbing at the cuffs and fiddling with the buttons. ‘Only five more minutes, Jiwoong. You can make it.’ he cheered himself on in his head, blinking slowly and deliberately.
The seconds ticked by slowly, but they did tick by. Jiwoong was second off the stage. He smiled wide and waved goodbye, he’d done this routine enough to be convincingly ‘normal’ looking. He tried to not rush Hanbin as he grabbed the hands of the zeroses who waited so patiently to say hi face to face. Jiwoong did his best to do the same. Smile and touch and interact. It wasn’t that he didn’t like his fans, not at all. He just felt this crushing weight on his chest after the whole day, like his battery died hours ago and he was still trying to ring out the last drops of juice.
They finally made it to their van, and after one final wave goodbye as they pulled away, Jiwoong put in his headphones. He slowly let his face drop, he’d learnt way too many times that changing expressions too quickly freaks people out. He shut his eyes and waited. All he had to do was wait, and then he could lock himself in the bathroom for at least ten minutes before anyone came knocking. Unfortunately, God hated him. With a tap to his shoulder, Jiwoong felt his stomach churn in frustration.
“Jiwoon-hyung!” Matthew poked at him cheerfully. “I know you’re not sleeping.” Jiwoong opened one of his eyes to look down at his seatmate. He was smiling bright as ever. Lucky.
Jiwoong hummed a noise of acknowledgment, too tired to make his mouth say words.
“What do you want for dinner, Hyung? Ricky wants chicken, but Hao-hyung and Hanbin-hyung are voting for Chinese. But, Gunwook, Taerae and Yujin want beef, like at a restaurant.” Matthew rattled the options off, counting on his fingers. “Which one do you think is best?” He looked up earnestly.
Honestly, the thought of putting food in his mouth at the moment made Jiwoong feel queasy. “Chinese.”
Matthew paused. Something flitted across his face, but Jiwoong couldn’t pick up exactly what. “You sure? We can get something else if you want! We could all get different stuff delivered!” Matthew placed a hand on Jiwoong’s arm, making him flinch slightly. He really hoped Matthew didn’t notice.
“Sure.” He closed his eyes again and took a deep breath. “Do whatever you want.”
The hand slowly dragged away. Jiwoong was thankful for the silence and the lack of stimulation. He took another breath, clearing his chest. Finally, plans were made and he could coast for the rest of the night. Minimal crying hopefully included. The rest of the drive was more peaceful than normal, the only real noise was Hanbin talking to their manager in the front row and Gyuvin playing a game on his phone. Maybe he wouldn’t even have to lock himself in the bathroom today.
They pulled up next to the Dorm, and everyone stretched and grabbed their stuff. Jiwoong held the door as Matthew and Yujin got out. Weird, neither of them looked up at him like normal. Something was off. Jiwoong tried to reason with himself, saying that they were probably also just tired from their long day, but it ate at him a bit. He grabbed his bag and went to shut the door but it slipped from his hand. His efforts to grab it again just ended up catapulting it even harder into the latch. It closed with a loud thud, causing everyone to jump. Jiwoong sighed deeply. “Sorry.” He slung his bag over his shoulder and hurried inside. He paused to shake out his hands in the lobby.
By the time he got there, the members were all crowding around the elevator. Jiwoong shuffled up next to Zhang Hao, nodding his head towards the light above the doors. “Ah- There’s a delivery man going up right now with a trolley. It’s gonna be a second.” His eyes wandered around the room as he explained.
“Hmm.” Jiwoong grunted. “I’m taking the stairs.” He didn’t want to deal with all nine of them squishing into an elevator right now, especially with the variable of a potential delivery man visitor.
Jiwoong was first to the dorm, first in and out of the shower, and first changed into comfortable clothes. The dorm was oddly quiet. They ordered food by passing Hanbin’s phone around, they all waited in their rooms or showered while it was getting delivered, and even eating was a strangely silent affair. It all felt much too familiar for Jiwoong’s liking. He didn’t know when, or how, or why, but he knew that he must’ve done something wrong. Did he do something at the fansign? Was he rude to zerose? Or was this something farther back that he just started noticing. Jesus, this feeling sucked, and it sucked even worse to sit in. He finished his bowl of soup and threw out the container in the kitchen. If he could manage the courage, he could ask right now, while everyone was here. Get it over with.
‘Oh, you didn’t notice? None of us liked you, we were being nice.’
‘I can’t believe you didn’t realize! Jesus, you really are dense.’
‘Wow, way to care about your so-called friends.’
He shook out his head. He knew those thoughts weren’t productive, they just made him feel like shit. It didn’t stop them from happening, but at least he knew, right? He flapped his hands, and groaned, hopping a little in place. Gathering all his strength he walked back out to the living room and stood in front of everyone. They all looked up in awkward silence.
“…Jiwoong-hyung?” Taerae said cautiously.
“I’m going to bed now.” Jiwoong blurted and turned on his heel. Stupid. He hurried into his and Ricky’s room. He flopped on his bed. “Stupid, stupid. That’s not gonna fix anything.” Anything he ever tried to do just seemed to make everything worse.
Then there was a knock on the door. Jiwoong sighed, he knew this was coming but it still sucked. Why couldn’t anyone just let him wallow? “Come in.”
Hanbin stepped in, closing the door behind him roughly. Jiwoong jolted at the noise. “Kim Jiwoong.” He stomped his way up to Jiwoong’s bed and stared down at him. Jiwoong could already feel his eyes start to burn. “Look, I get it, it’s been a long day, you’re tired. But is that really any excuse to take it out on the members?” Hanbin was fuming underneath his student body principal tone. Jiwoong might be dense but anyone could’ve seen that. “This is absolutely unacceptable, especially for the oldest member. What did Matthew even do to you?” He stood with his arms crossed, awaiting an answer.
“...Matthew?” Jiwoong questioned under his breath. He thought through every time he talked to Matthew today. What did he do to Matthew?
Hanbin’s posture slowly shifted as he stared at Jiwoong’s confused face longer and longer. “Wait…” He started pacing. “Do you not know? Why he’s upset?”
Jiwoong looked up finally, face covered in remorse. “Matthew’s upset? God, can you please just tell me what I did? I didn’t mean to upset anybody?”
Hanbin raked a hand down his face. “It’s not just Matthew, Hyung. Hao and Taerae too.”
Jiwoong’s stomach turned. “God…” He heaved a sigh, trying to not let any tears form.
“Hyung. You’ve been sighing and scowling for hours. How else are people supposed to take that?”
Jiwoong, whipped his head to the mirror on his vanity. Sure enough, the scowl lines were etched deep into his forehead. “No…” He couldn’t hold it anymore. He let his face fall to his hands. He choked out a sob. “Not- not aga-gain…” he muttered with the little breath he had. “Why does- does it have to be so- so har-ard?”
Hanbin stood back in a mix of shock and confusion. “What?”
“ Everything! ” Jiwoong sobbed out, curling into himself and rocking. “It’s so- so easy for everyone else! It’s no fa-fair!” Jiwoong was inconsolable, sobbing into his knees and hiccupping. “You don’t understand. You don’t- don’t get it.”
“Jiwoong-hyung…” Hanbin’s voice was suddenly gentle, like he was trying not to spook a deer. “What’s happening?” He tried to place a hand on Jiwoong’s back but he flinched away from the touch.
“Please- please don’t.” Jiwoong said in between breaths.
“Okay! That’s okay!” Hanbin floated his hand above Jiwoong, not sure what to do otherwise. “Deep breaths, Hyung. We don’t need to talk until you’re able to.”
Jiwoong made a strangled noise and nodded. He breathed as big as he could but it came out stuttery and weird. Even that made him plunge a little deeper back into it. He choked on his spit, coughing and letting out a desperate noise.
“Hey- hey now. No, come on, don't give up.” Hanbin moved to squat in front of Jiwoong. “Can I hold your hands?”
Jiwoong frantically shook his head no. He felt like he would explode if someone touched him right now. His ears were already ringing.
“That’s okay, that’s okay. Can you try and look at me?”
Jiwoong uncovered one of his eyes. Hanbin was all blurry but he was basically visible. He stared up at him with big frantic eyes, but forced a little smile.
“That’s good. C’mon, breathe with me.” He raised both of his hands, palms up, in front of his chest. “In.” He sucked in a lungful of air with a noise. Jiwoong tried his best to do the same. “And out.” He lowered his hands again. “One more time, okay? In... Out...” The breaths were coming a little easier. “Good. Good job, Hyung.” Hanbin gave a half-hearted smile. “Feeling any better?”
Jiwoong took a few more breaths before responding. He sniffled and wiped his face on his sleeve. “Mhmm.” He looked away. “Thank you. I’m sorry.”
“Hey, hey, it’s alright.” Hanbin reached for his hands again but stopped himself. “Do you need anything? Water?”
“...Yes please.” Jiwoong flopped over onto his side, utterly exhausted.
“Be right back.” Hanbin made a gesture for Jiwoong to stay put and scurried out the door. Jiwoong heard the ambient murmuring of his bandmates no doubt asking what all the noise was about. It took every ounce of strength left in Jiwoong’s body to not curl back up into himself.
The conversation drifted in as Hanbin reentered the room.
“Are you sure he’s okay?” Jiwoong heard Gunwook whisper loudly.
“Later, later! He just needs water.” Hanbin closed the door on the expecting dorm mates. “Jeez, they’re nosy today.” He chuckled lightly. He placed the glass of water on the nightstand. “Here you are. You want some alone time?” Hanbin didn’t seem even slightly angry anymore. It didn’t make sense.
Jiwoong shook his head. “Stay.” He hesitated for a second before reaching out a hand.
Hanbin made his signature ‘o’ surprised face and gently took his hand by the fingers. He sat next to the bed, not letting go. “You can talk whenever you’re ready, Hyung.” He stroked down each of his nails one by one. “I can wait.”
Jiwoong nearly started crying again at that. It didn’t make any sense. A minute ago Hanbin was yelling at him for being rude. But now, now he was sitting on his hard bedroom floor, patiently petting his hand. Waiting for him to be ready.
“Thank you.”
“Hmm?” Hanbin hummed, rubbing gentle circles on each of Jiwoongs joints. “For what?”
“Staying. Trying.” Jiwoong sniffled.
“That’s not something you should have to thank me for, Jiwoong-Hyung.” He turned to meet his eyes.
“Huh?” Jiwoong swallowed the lump in his throat.
“I’m sorry I was so quick to yell. I was just worried for the members. If I would’ve known…” He trailed off.
“It’s okay. I mess up like this a lot. I’m used to it.”
“You shouldn’t be.” Hanbin turned his whole body to hold both of Jiwoongs hands.
“I’m sorry.” Jiwoong wiped his eyes. “I don't know how it happens. I just want to say what I mean. I don’t know why I’m so hard to understand.”
“Ah-“ Something like a light bulb seemed to go off in Hanbin’s head. “So earlier, when you told Matthew to ‘do whatever he wants’ you meant…?”
Jiwoong scrunched his face in confusion. “That he can do whatever he wants?” Jiwoong sat up. “I’m sorry, I’m really confused. What else could it mean?”
Hanbin held back a giggle. “Sorry, sorry. Usually when people say ‘do whatever you want’ they mean it in like a ‘you’re not going to listen to me anyway so why even bother telling you’ way.”
“ WHAT? ” Jiwoong’s mouth fell open. “Oh my god, I had no idea.” He sat, dumbfounded for a moment. “Jesus, I have a lot of people to apologize to.” He smiled, tears still rimming his eyes.
“It’s okay to talk however you want Jiwoong.” Hanbin shrugged. “As long as everyone understands the intent I don’t get the big deal. I mean, we’re all members, we’re gonna have to be ourselves around each other at some point.” He chuckled.
“I guess you’re right…” he took a big swig of his water. “I don’t think I've actually drank any water today.”
“Jiwoong-hyung!” Hanbin scowled. “That’s not good for you.”
“Sorry, sorry. I’ve been busy.” He smiled.
“You’re lucky I saw you eat today or I’d be shoveling those leftovers down your throat.” Jiwoong chuckled at Hanbin’s very serious expression.
“I’m okay, really.”
“You better be. We still have to debut.” Hanbin pinched the skin on Jiwoong’s index finger lightly.
They sat for a moment, Jiwoong drinking his water and Hanbin massaging all the knuckles on Jiwoong’s hand. It was comfortable again. It never happened this quickly. It was… nice.
“Hanbin-ah?”
He hummed in reply.
“Thanks again. For working with me on this. People don’t usually… try? I can be a handful, I know, and it just… means a lot.”
“Do you think you’re the only handful here?” Hanbin laughed brightly. “We’re all handfuls, Hyung. We just have to figure out how to balance everything. We’re brand new at this- at being a group. There’s gonna be bumps.”
Jiwoong stared at Hanbin for a moment in adoration. “Have I ever told you how glad I am that you’re the leader and not me?”
Hanbin laughed again. “No I don’t think you have. But I appreciate it.” He stood up and wiped his hands on his jeans. “You wanna come talk to the boys? They're all worried about you.” He reached out a hand.
Jiwoong took it and stood too. “Do I look like I’ve been crying?”
“Oh, very much so. Sounded like it too.” He knocked their shoulders together. “We’ve all cried on national tv before, this is nothing. Well maybe not Ricky. But Gyuvin’s told me about it, apparently his bottom lip quivers.”
Jiwoong chuckled. “I’ll have to see that one of these days.”
“Oh, I don’t doubt you will.” He dragged him towards the door and opened it. Gyuvin, Yujin, and Matthew all practically toppled on to the floor.
“Jiwoon-Hyung!” Matthew rebalanced himself then rushed over. “I’m so sorry, are you okay?” He looked up at him with big moony eyes.
“Yeah, I’m okay now. Just got… overwhelmed.”
“Tell us next time, Hyung!” Gyuvin whined. “Then we can help.”
“Do you need anything?” Gunwook muttered. “I can make tea.”
“I’m alright, I promise.” Jiwoong beamed.
And he was. :)
no more kisses!
⊹˚.♡ syn jebi’s reactions to their s/o being shy after every kiss
⊹˚.♡ genre ot8 x gn!reader, fluff
masterlist | ask
성 hanbin
he adores it sm
he gets so giggly abt it, with the whisker smile and all
most likely will tease you
“i’ve kissed you so many times before and you still get bright red.”
did i mention that he gets sooo flirty
he gently pulls your chin to make you face him before scanning your flushed face, smirking at the mess he has made you
“you can handle one more kiss, right?”
김 jiwoong
finds it amusing
he enjoys seeing you all flustered like that because of him
he doesn’t say anything about it though.
but you can see in his facial expressions that he’s enjoying it
just so smiley all out
he has such a mischievous smirk and you can’t even look at him in the eyes anymore
“i think i need to kiss you one more time.”
장 hao
his honest reaction; are you okay?
like actually concerned on why you keep moving your face away from him after every kiss
misunderstands your reactions and thinks you don’t like his kisses
might get pouty
pokes you “hey.”
he’ll keep puckering up his lips, awaiting a kiss
“should i keep kissing you to get you used to them?”
석 matthew
he finds it so funny
but he’s also a bit confused??
every time you try to hide your blushing face from him, he’s like ‘why whyy?’
and then he tries to physically pull your face back (gently) to give you more kisses
“just one more!!”
and it keeps going back and forth like that; him trying to kiss your face and you trying to avoid them
might turn into a chase until you give up and let him smother you with kisses
김 taerae
he’s v much aware of how shy you become when he kisses you
so, he makes it a challenge for you
he’ll keep kissing you and giving you compliments in between until you get flustered
he says its to have you get used to it but wbk it’s all excuses to get to kiss you more without you running away from him
he lets you pick where you want him to kiss so win for you!
“you’re so cute.”
셴 ricky
it’s a guilty pleasure of his
won’t ever admit that he loves seeing your reactions and how easily you fold
he acts so oblivious too
“hey, love.” he says as he places a sudden kiss to your lips as you were telling him smth just to see how’d you react
“oh, u-um anyways.. as i was saying..” you immediately start stuttering and ricky tries to hide his smile
you notice him tho “you did that on purpose, didn’t you?”
“can’t help it when you look good in red.”
김 gyuvin
he tries to think of many other ways to trick you into getting to kiss you
he loves teasing you about it sm
you’ll never hear the end of it
“look over there!” he points behind you
as soon as you turn back to face him, you’re met with his lips connecting with yours
has such a cheeky smile right after with absolutely no shame
somehow, he gets away with this a lot
“now, that wasn’t so bad, wasn’t it?”
박 gunwook
another case of happy smiley boy
as much as you get shy, he does too
and oh boy, is it visible in his ears and cheeks
“i liked that, did you?”
and you two are staring into eachother’s starry eyes, feeling the heat rushing to your faces
he has to take a moment to fan himself away from it
“is it okay if i kiss you again?”
faithst 24’
⊹˚.♡ taglist @haesunflower @big-uwu-stan @gnwookie @yjhcloud @kpoprhia @blaycke @ashyakii @watamotee33 @hazyskyline @doobinnies @alwayswook @chanlixed @kimiczi @taeraemisu