A-sentient-penrose-triangle - A Straight Dose Of Surrealism

I have become a regular at the local cafe. I sit at the lunch counter with my laptop to write. The workers keep me updated on all the tea.

Barista: Oh god here he comes.

Me: who?

Barista: White Ferrari guy. Hes banned from the other cafe. All he ever does is tell the same stories about the pyramids. Or ghosts. Or his car. Don't make eye contact with him. If he talks to you he won't leave you alone- Hi hello welcome!

i cast “Charge Public Transport Card”

i ran out of mana to summon my car today.

Welcome! Let me introduce myself

Hello All! As a experienced wizard i am finally reaching out to not just T.U.W.C (The Universal Wizard Council), but to @the-better-wizard-council in hopes to transcribe my miriad of stupid spells i have jotted over my existance.

I am indeed stuck as an improbable shape, but do have a universal human forme. I wear any suit and tie set, I enjoy a baby yellow though for most of my garb, but can compromise for a standard uniform.

I will post some archived spells i have created over the millenia, but do not condone the use of any, even if they are (somehow) approved by the Council.

More than happy to talk to anyone, the White is very lonely.

Your body must be rested and fed if you wish to be a pervert.

Cant cast spells cause allergies ate a bitch