abridgedvampire - The Crimson Fuckr
The Crimson Fuckr

My Job? Kill fuckers. It's always good to have your hobby be your job too.England, bitches.

261 posts

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" 𝓞𝓱… 𝓨𝓸𝓾 𝓴𝓷𝓸𝔀… "

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Indie, Canon Divergent Portrayal of Alucard from Hellsing Ultimate, taking on the persona of the Abridged Series.

Mun is 18+

Tags -> X

Dark and Sexual Themes/Humor Present

Multiverse & Crossover Friendly

Will not interact with those under 18

Follows back from @/divinityunleashed

Tracking abridgedvampire

Permanent Starter Call -> X

" 𝓐 𝓡𝓔𝓐𝓛 𝓕𝓾𝓬𝓴𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓥𝓪𝓶𝓹𝓲𝓻𝓮. "

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More Posts from Abridgedvampire

5 months ago
"That's Good Information To Know For Later~ Assuming My Boss Doesn't Decide She Wants To Fuck Me Over

"That's good information to know for later~ Assuming my boss doesn't decide she wants to fuck me over with my social life."

"That's Good Information To Know For Later~ Assuming My Boss Doesn't Decide She Wants To Fuck Me Over

"Plus she does it over the phone. It's always over the phone. Also mainly because I don't like arguing with her in person. I get a hard on, it's super awkward."

"That's Good Information To Know For Later~ Assuming My Boss Doesn't Decide She Wants To Fuck Me Over

"Anyway. So, Mai. Got a last name?"

Uh oh.

"That's Good Information To Know For Later~ Assuming My Boss Doesn't Decide She Wants To Fuck Me Over

That, she'd heard of before as well. Her lips curl slightly at this.

That, She'd Heard Of Before As Well. Her Lips Curl Slightly At This.

"Maiden? No. She is not taken."


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5 months ago

↪ 𝑽𝑨𝑵 𝑯𝑬𝑳𝑺𝑰𝑵𝑮 . ( a collection of sentence starters from the 2004 film . adjust phrasing as necessary . mature themes present . )

oh , [ name ] . it's just you .

where are you going to run , [ name ] ?

what are you saying ?

why do you think i brought you here ?

you said you believed in my work .

i would kill myself before helping in such a task .

you've been so kind to me , [ name ] .

you can't kill me , [ name ] .

so , you're the great [ name ] .

we all have our little problems .

let's make it your decision , shall we ?

i wish you a week in hell .

why don't you do something about it ?

this is all a test of faith .

i can curse all i want , dammit .

you . turn around .

strangers don't last long here .

the laws of men mean little to me .

i don't need your help .

you stay here . they're trying to kill me .

nice to see you too , [ name ] .

did i do something to you in a past life ?

i hope you do have a heart , [ name ] . because someday i'd like to drive a stake through it .

your reputation precedes you .

i am hollow ! and i will live ... forever .

please , say you will not try again .

do not fear me ... everybody else fears me .

i was unprepared . it won't happen again .

do you understand forgiveness ?

i would rather die than help you .

don't be boring , everyone who says that always dies .

may he rest in peace .

how long has it been , 300 , 400 years ?

you don't remember , do you ?

what exactly is it i am to be remembering ?

it's no surprise you would know all about me .

we have such history , you and i .

have you ever wondered why you have such horrific nightmares ?

[ name ] , it's alright , i'm taking you home .

what , did you think we haven't tried everything before ?

no one knows how to kill [ name ] .

i could have used that information earlier .

would you like me to refresh your memory a little ?

allow me to ... reintroduce myself .

i think we've overstayed our welcome .

don't give me that look .

you were right . i'm sorry .

monster ? who's the monster here ? i have done nothing wrong !

look , there's still time .

you were right . i'm sorry .

do you have any family , [ name ] ?

if you value your lives , and the lives of your kin , you will kill me .

evil may have created it , may have left its mark on it , but evil does not rule it .

now you know why they call me a murderer .

oh my god ... you've been bitten .

so much trouble ... so much trouble .

now you will become that which you hunted so passionately . may others be as passionate in their hunting of you .

don't worry , god will forgive us .

how many commandments can we break in one day ?

oh my god , you should be terrified .

how does it feel to be a puppet on my string ?

neither of us has ever settled for half .

you make my skin crawl .

i'm not gonna like this , am i ?

one brief moment of pain , and we can be together forever .

you have no heartbeat .

you are nothing but damned bones , and damned souls .

well , that doesn't sound like a good thing .

we don't have a choice . just don't get killed .

you don't understand , it doesn't matter what happens to me .

god is not the only one that can create life .

you can't go until i say you can go , and i say you can go when you're dead !

you're supposed to die .

we are both part of the same great game , [ name ] , we just find ourselves on opposite sides of the board .

you are being used , [ name ] , as was i . but i escaped , so can you .

if you're going to kill someone , kill them . don't stand there talking about it .

all i want is life . the continuation of my kind .

some things are better left forgotten .


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5 months ago
"Hnnnghghghghahahahahaha!"

"Hnnnghghghghahahahahaha!"

"Hnnnghghghghahahahahaha!"

"I take very enthusiastic walks~"

"Hnnnghghghghahahahahaha!"
Well That Impression Of Yours Needs Some Work.

“‘Well that impression of yours needs some work’.”

Careful, Alucard. She’s played this game before.

“Would it help if I took an enthusiastic walk through the woods?”


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5 months ago

Questions/Comments to be sent anonymously!

(though off anon is fine too!)

“Is there someone you hold dear?”

“Don’t you feel any guilt?”

“You’re actually afraid to be alone, aren’t you?”

“There must be something you fear.”

“Do you have a home?”

“Is there someone you like?”

“Are you really expecting a positive outcome out of this?”

“Aren’t you ashamed?”

“Aren’t you happy?”

“Who do you despise?” 

“How do you sleep at night?”

“How do you manage to keep going despite everything?”

“What do you think of kindness?”

“What do you think of hatred?”

“Why do you fight?”

“Why do you live?”

“How much blood have you spilled?”

“How much death have you seen?”

“Don’t you think your actions are reckless?”

“Don’t you know how much good you’ve done for others?”

“Can’t you tell they love you?”

“Can’t you see he/she would die for you?”

“Can’t you see that they hate you?”

“Can’t you tell the truth for once?”

“You’re not tainted.”

“You’re not alone.”

“You’re awful.”

“You don’t think of anyone but yourself.”

“You’re an emotionless robot.”

“You’re just a lap dog.”

“It’s not over.”

“He/she needs you.”

“Stop lying.”

“Stop fighting.”

“Stop pushing others away.”

“You’re cruel.”

“You’re far too kind. Too kind for your own good.”

“You depend on him/her too often.”

“You’re overprotective, it’s stifling.”

“You’re too impulsive, it’s reckless.”

“You’re too careless, it’s a liability.”

“He/she is bringing you down.”

“You’re too timid, it’s easy to see you as a target.”

“You need to listen.”

“You need to speak up more often.”

“You’re weak.”

“You’re strong. Stronger than you’ll ever know.”

“You’re too proud.”

“Quit blaming others for your mistakes.”

“You won’t always be around to save him/her.”

“One day, he/she won’t need you anymore.”

“You can’t cheat death.”

“You can’t hide forever.”

“They’ll find out the truth eventually.”

“That person is only holding you back.”

“They’re too good for you.”

“You’ll be rewarded for your efforts if you keep trying.”

“It will get better.”

“You look lonely.”

“You look bitter.”

“You look tired.”

“You’re hiding a painful burden.”

“You’re perfect.”

“You’re beautiful.”

“You will always be worthless.”

“Your hands are too dirty, too tainted to be clean.”

“You’re lost in this world. Wandering without a purpose.”

“You’ll rise above them all.” 

“You’ll find your place in this world.”

“Eventually, someone will knock you off your pedestal.”


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5 months ago
Well That's Got A Silence Out Of The Vampire King.
Well That's Got A Silence Out Of The Vampire King.

Well that's got a silence out of the Vampire King.

"And you're not at all related to Luke and Jan Valentine? You know, the ones working for the Nazi's and decided to raid my boss's place and try to kill me?"

Well That's Got A Silence Out Of The Vampire King.

As he just casually pulls out his handgun.

Well That's Got A Silence Out Of The Vampire King.

There was a simple pause, silence answering him immediately and then--

There Was A Simple Pause, Silence Answering Him Immediately And Then--

"It's Valentine."

She was preparing for the jokes now.


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