They Dont Care If It Gets A Little Stained In The Process, They Just Wanna Watch Football.

They don’t care if it gets a little stained in the process, they just wanna watch football.

Dammit, that idea I had a few days ago about the guy sitting under a double decker plane seat isn’t leaving my head. I’ve got a lot of non-fart things I need to write (stuff I wanna try and get published!) but the idea that I most want to develop right now is “Guy gets forced to breathe in clouds of gas from stranger on plane; ends up turning into a meet cute"

You know how in a lot of fantasy stories or anything involving potions, spells/magic seem to use really specific body parts or fluids? We all know about eye of newt and toe of frog, but I’ve also heard of stories that ask for minotaur tears, unicorn horns, etc.

What if certain types of magic could be done using creature farts?

Imagine filling your centaur buddy up with mana herbs and vegetables that had been watered by specific liquids, all so that they can be processed specifically through their digestive system. Perhaps the gas is a form of breathable mana.

A young wizard awkwardly positions themself behind their centaur friend’s ass during a final examination, their professors watching carefully. When the centaur lets rip, they have to quickly, yet deeply, breathe in the visible sparkling fart and cast a certain spell as the magic courses from their lungs and into the rest of their body.

I dunno what’s REALLY going to stop me from writing that airplane fart fiction story. The fact that I have a lot of work to do right now for my paying jobs (not to mention the non-fart novel that I want to get written sometime before I die)...

… or the fact that naming characters is SO hard.

Has anyone else seen those pictures of the proposed double-decker airplane seats? I swear that they're just a few design tweaks away from being perfect for fart-fetish scenarios. Like, the airlines are already thinking up stuff like to this to plan for cheaper economy seating. In fart fetish land, I can see an even CHEAPER airline making the upper seat have less of a "barrier" between the face of the person in the lower seat, all in the name of saving money.

I can't help but imagine someone who needs to get somewhere last-minute, so they book one of the last, cheapest tickets on the cheapest flight available, which is unfortunately the lower half of a new, cheap double-decker seat. It's only when the person above them takes a seat that this traveler realizes that this flight really skimped out on reinforcing the upper seats: they can even see the back of the upper person's jeans through gaps in the chair.

And right in the middle of leaning forward to observe just how much of the other traveler's ass our protagonist can see, the upper traveler lets out the first of many strong farts, which easily slip through the gaps of the chair and onto the helpless person below.

This is going to be a long flight.

(God do I want to write a full story about this but I just DON'T have the time)

Farting