When Severus Snape Became A Hogwarts Professor And Realised He Can't Swear In Front Of His Students Or

When Severus Snape became a Hogwarts Professor and realised he can't swear in front of his students or colleagues, he started using Potion ingredients as insults and it completely goes over everyone's head.

*student completely messes a Potion up*

Snape: *rolls eyes* Boomslang

*student blows up a cauldron*

Snape: You complete and utter Dundruff-

*Dumbledore is at it again*

Snape: That Frogging Hellebore!

Sprout: Oh? Do you need some Hellebore, Severus?

Snape:...

-

Student A: Why is Snape always citing Potion ingredients?

Student B: Absolutely no idea.

Student C: Maybe he thinks the recipes for his next classes.

Dumbledore: Have you noticed something wrong with Severus?

McGonagall: What do you mean, Albus?

Dumbledore: He has started mentioning Potion ingredients out of the blue

McGonagall: You're... actually right.

Sprout: Maybe he's stressed? He takes on a lot of work...

Filius: *tries to hide his amusement because he has figured it out*

(Minerva narrating)

This is Severus. Severus loves his personal space.

This is Albus. Albus also loves Severus' personal space.

Dementors feed on happy feelings so...

Harry: The best way to fight against a Dementor is the Patronus charm.

Snape: No.

Harry: But... It's the only way, Professor.

Snape: Dementors feed on happy emotions. If you have negative or no emotions, then there's no reason for them to attack you.

Harry:

Snape: Perks of being dead inside. Stay negative, you dunderheads.

I REALLY need to know what Snape’s alternative is to tackling Dementors. Harry of course fights them with a Patronus inspired by a happy memory. What else would Snape suggest??

refseek.com

www.worldcat.org/

link.springer.com

http://bioline.org.br/

repec.org

science.gov

pdfdrive.com

everyone: *fighting for their lives in the Hogwarts Battle*

severus: fuck this *pulls gun and murders voldy*

everyone:

harry: what

hermione: the

ron: bloody

mcgongall: FUCK! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING US SEVERUS? YOU HAD THAT THE ENTIRE TIME, WHERE WAS THIS 15 YEARS AGO!!!

severus: *runs*

"Happiness can be found in even the darkest of times if only one remembers to turn on the light." Bitch, student Snape could have turned on a fucking lighthouse and you mother-fuckers would still have ignored him