Dewdrops At Dawn

dewdrops at dawn

pairing: poly!ateez x fem!reader (ot8 x reader) [demon!au]

warnings: minors dni!! socially anxious reader, reader is implied to be neurodivergent but it’s never explicitly said, mentions of body insecurity, chubby reader, being followed, drunk assholes, cursing, demons, soulmates, reincarnation, blood, death, heavy suggestive content, mentions of angels being dicks (idk there’s a bit of angel slander but it’s just for plot purposes), a little gore, angst then lots of fluff, heavy sexual themes but no actual smut (again, minors please dni!!) (also, all suggestive content is 100% consensual, the reader just tries to evade their advances to continue their teasing), also the reader is mentioned to be some kind of atheist/not religious 

word count: 17.2k

a/n: nooo the boys’ demon forms are totally not based on the obey me characters at all, why would you even ask that /j lol welcome to another monster fic!! I’ve been writing this one in between like the moon and finally had the motivation to finish it! I hope y’all enjoy this one!! <3 

There’s an ache in your chest. 

It’s not stinging or painful, by any means - just an ache. The dull throb is usually easily ignored in most circumstances, with a shrug of the shoulders or a heavy breath. The pain is never enough to worry your already addled mind. It lingers constantly, not sated by any human means. 

You don’t know how to describe it to those who ask. The pain isn’t sharp, and it’s certainly not excruciating. It’s simply empty. That’s the only way you’ve learned to describe it. It’s a hole in your chest, aching to be filled - by what, you’re not quite sure. All you know is the ache feels null, like a void longing to be filled, or a chasm waiting to be crossed. There’s emptiness that cannot be filled no matter how hard you try. 

Some days are better than others. On these, you can manage your day quite splendidly; going about your daily tasks does not pose a challenge. Getting up in the morning was not as difficult of a challenge, nor was dragging yourself to university classes.

On other days, you can barely bring yourself to leave the bed. The emptiness drags a pit into your stomach and you can feel nothing but the ache that longs to be filled. You have yet to discover what you’re searching for, but you long for the day the empty pain is filled. 

Your friends, however, have an interesting way of comforting you. 

Keep reading

Be The Light (Part 2)

pairing: ateez (ot8) x reader

genre: Dystopian AU, angst, some fluff maybe, based off of ATEEZ’s lore

wc: 5k+ (I'm sorry?)

warnings: ANGST. Mentions of food. MC is... going through a lot of emotions. violence. this is set in strictland. Let me know if I missed anything.

summary: You lost them, then found them again. And now that freedom is so near, you fear losing them once again.

Tumblr is based on a system of reblogs, not likes. Please reblog my work. Feedback is always appreciated.

a/n: Now that this has turned into a series, the taglist is open! Send me an ask/DM if you would like to be tagged ❤️ A HUGE thanks to @hwaightme for helping me with the pacing for this chapter. Thank you.

Taglist: (open, send me an ask/dm if you want to be tagged in future updates!) @camzpetite @kawennote09 @parkthothwa8 @jenseok17 @simeonswhore @jjaelly @miaatiny @miriamxsworld @hwaightme-recs @jackinmyarea

Sleep has evaded you since the night you returned to the base. The only reason you were able to catch some hours of rest that night was only because you were drained both physically and emotionally, having cried until you'd passed out of exhaustion.

Even with The Eight missing, the members of The Movement trust you enough to wait patiently until you come up with a plan to attack the government again. You had given them an ambiguous idea of what you were going to do, mentioning how Hongjoong had made sure things would run smoothly even without them around. No one had stepped out of the base unless absolutely necessary, but the same cannot be said for you.

It's close to dawn, and you're seated on a ledge overlooking the city, which has suspiciously been bathed in silence since the fateful day. You've been on high alert, strengthening security and ensuring that if push comes to shove, all of you will have a way to escape without any more casualties. You do not want any more blood on your hands.

A movement in the corner of your eye catches your attention. From your vantage point, you spot a bunch of vehicles silently moving through the streets. Your eyes follow the tail lights to the center of the sector. Android Guardians step out and work on something, you can't see clearly from a distance, but you can feel it in your bones that whatever they're planning is not going to be good. It takes them an hour to install whatever it is, and by the time they leave, the city is waking up.

You turn and don your cloak, pulling up the hood as you make your way to the streets down below, allowing yourself to be led by the masses of people as they go about their day. Not only does this allow you to not think about what had happened a few days ago, but you're also able to scour the city for any signs of trouble for your group without drawing too much attention to yourself. Without Yeosang to look out for you, moving about on your own would be dangerous. At least with people around you, you can hide yourself in the crowd.

You've always found a sense of peace in the act of walking, which is why you assumed the role of the scout. You are unassuming enough to be overlooked, especially when in a crowd of people. There have been so many instances when you were on the run from the Android Guardians and had slipped between a mass of people, effectively disappearing from their radar. It was precisely because of this skill that, to the government, you were known as The Shadow.

"You won't guess what they've taken to calling our Light," Mingi's deep voice breaks the intense discussion you'd been having with Hongjoong and Seonghwa. His tone also catches the attention of the others, and one by one, they trickle into the room, trying to catch a glimpse of the flyer in the tallest member's hands.

"What is it?" Curiosity tugs you closer to Mingi, and all of you fall silent when he holds up the piece of paper for all of you to read.

"That's an irony if I've ever seen one," Jongho manages to utter before collapsing into a fit of giggles which starts a chain reaction, and soon, all of you are laughing not only at the fact that they've named you 'Shadow' of all things, but also the preposterous descriptions.

"They're literally contradicting themselves with each sentence," Yeosang chuckles while reading out what's written. "Did they even proofread this? 'Assumed to be 140 cm' is followed by 'is considerably taller than The Arsonist, who's known to be 173 cm'."

"That's borderline offensive, by the way, I know our shortie isn't very tall, but 140 cm is just too much," Yunho is practically kneeling on the ground at this point, laughing so hard that his legs can't hold him up anymore.

"I can't get over the 'is considerably taller than The Arsonist,' our Light is the only one of us who's shorter than me!" Wooyoung whines, throwing himself onto the nearest person. Unfortunately for him, however, Seonghwa sidesteps the incoming ball of energy, and he crashes into Yunho, eliciting another round of laughter from all of you.

"It's quite fitting, though," Hongjoong muses once all of you have calmed down somewhat. "The codename," he explains when he sees your confused expressions, "I remember reading somewhere that revolution cannot be spelled without love, but backwards. And the fact that they're our Light, which automatically makes them a shadow for Z and his regime."

Mingi whistles appreciatively, "Damn…that was deep."

You're pulled back to the present when you almost bump into someone, but thankfully, you catch yourself at the last moment. It's only when you realize everyone is looking at something that you lift your eyes to take in what has caught everyone's attention.

It takes you a second to truly register what you're seeing, and when you do, your brain reminds you of how truly terrified you are. The memory of your boys has eased some of your nerves, momentarily making you forget that no one is waiting for you back at the base. You won't ever see Hongjoong's impressed face when you manage to outwit him. You won't feel Seonghwa's warmth ever again. You won't have any more dance battles with Yunho and Mingi, nor will you ever be a part of the infamous WooSan sandwich. You won't ever find solace in Jongho's presence, and Yeosang will never show off his IT skills. Not anymore.

As you take in the figure the government had erected, you're left bereft and grieving for your loss all over again. It is decked in Seonghwa's accessories from head to toe. For being nothing but a human construction, the figure looks lively, especially due to the cloak that flutters in the air as if it’s alive.

"The members of HALATEEZ have been taken down. With their leaders gone, The Movement has retreated, and peace is finally restored." Z's voice blares from the loudspeakers. "Remember—"

OUR WORLD IS PERFECT AS LONG AS THERE ARE NO CRACKS.

FEELINGS ARE A WEAKNESS.

EMOTIONS ARE DISEASE.

WE WANT TO PROTECT YOU ALL.

DO NOT DOUBT US.

DO NOT QUESTION.

ALL OF THIS IS FOR YOU.

Your stomach churns, and you swallow back a sob. You can’t cry, not here, where anyone can see you. For the first time in forever, you feel exposed, as if someone has stripped you of your skin, and all that remains are your bones. How could you have never realized how the boys had always acted like a safety blanket? Their presence was grounding even when the world was breaking apart at the seams. And now, they had been ripped away from you, leaving you bereft and grieving the sense of security you had once enjoyed.

You take a step back, then another, and another. Before long, you’re tracing your way back to the hideout. Once you can’t see the crowd or the abomination they’ve erected, you run. Throwing caution to the wind, you don't stop until you're back in the safety of your room.

Your back presses against the door, and you slide down onto your knees. Panicked shivers overtake your body as you tremble from fear. Gasping for breath, you gulp air as if tasting it for the very first time, trying to overcome the compression in your chest that threatens to drown you. What hurts the most is the guilt that you feel, questions plaguing your mind as you fall into despair once again.

What if you had confronted them during breakfast that day? Would they still be alive?

What if you'd figured out their plans earlier? Would they be here with you, celebrating yet another victory?

What if?

What if?

What if?

The silence extends across the hideout, blanketing everything in its cold embrace. Usually, you would hear voices from the various rooms as you walk through a hallway or the shuffle of footsteps just out of reach as someone goes about their daily duties. But you had sent all of them to Left Eye's underground bunker on the outskirts of Sector 1. Your decision had been met with some reluctance, but after hearing what you had seen this morning, it was decided that leaving would be the best course of action for now. After the huge loss incurred at the hands of the Android Guardians, it would take The Movement a while to rise from the ashes. But you would. You had done it before, you could do it again.

Now all alone in the hideout, you stand in the common area, eyes trained on the Cromer that you've placed on the table. Your fingers are poised over the device, your hand trembling as you hesitate to touch it. Touching it would mean everything you've experienced in the last few days is real. Once you let yourself hold the device again, you'll have to come to terms with the fact that you won't wake up from this nightmare.

Alone in the room, you're quiet, but the rage that followed your breakdown this morning is still coursing through your veins, wanting to bubble over. You want to unleash your anger at the world, to break it apart until it's barely holding together. You want to unleash hell on Z, to tear into him with your bare fingers until he feels the agony that you felt when he took your family away from you. You've never been violent, opting to leave that part to the boys. Instead, you chose to patch up the hearts that had been broken by the government. But right now, you crave the vindictive relief that comes with violence.

Sucking in a deep breath, you turn around abruptly and walk out of the room with a sense of purpose. Your footsteps are slow and careful, carefully timed with each inhale as you try to get as far away from the Cromer as you can. When you finally stop to take in your surroundings, you find yourself in front of Hongjoong's office. Unlike the rest of the base, this door is imposing, not just because beyond it lies the office of your Captain, but also because the room carries secrets you're not sure you want to know. You lean forward, resting your forehead against the door, and let yourself feel for a moment. With your eyes closed like this, the base seems alive, walls thrumming against your touch. In a world that has been stripped off of emotions, you find it fitting that the building you chose to be The Movement's base is brimming with life.

Taking another deep breath, you push the door open, making a beeline toward the desk in the center of the room. Your hand brushes against the expensive wood, fingers curling around the handle of the drawer in which Hongjoong kept tidbits that reminded him of all of you. He was a hoarder, always unable to part with something he considered precious, even if it wasn't of use anymore. He would keep it for the sake of memory, for the nostalgia that came with still having something that meant so much at some point in the past. Seonghwa always scolded him for it, threatening to throw away or burn all the stuff that didn't work anymore, but he never got around to it. And you're glad he didn't. Now that they're no longer here, you suppose the things Hongjoong had collected are all that's left of them.

Just as you pull the drawer open a smidge, a voice in the back of your mind reminds you about the memory card Yunho had mentioned in the letter, and you close it with a bang. It's too soon. Much too soon for you to be able to remember every memory associated with the things inside. You can't have another breakdown, not right now when the full moon is to rise in a few hours. You need to be prepared for tonight.

You flip through the files and notes, coming across a small diary that has the letters ATZ embellished on it. You open it, hoping to find something that would help you find a way to bring 'them' to your world.

The universe is divided into dimensions. Each is separated from the other by space and time. The only device that can connect the dimensions is the Cromer which 'imitates' the phases of the moon.

You find a note folded between the pages, Hongjoong's messy writing making it slightly difficult to decipher what's written. It is clear that he had written it down in a hurry, but it makes you smile regardless, the familiarity of his writing making it easier for you to breathe.

My Light,

In case things don't work out and you have to execute Plan B, please follow these instructions to bring them here.

During the last crescent moon, I asked the leader of the group from the other dimension to be ready for you on the next full moon. I tried my best to explain everything to him through the dream, but I'm not sure how successful I was. Rest assured, however, that they will be prepared for you to bring them here.

Since they do not have the Cromer, you will have to travel to their dimension (Universe A) and then come back with them to ours (Universe Z). Turn the Cromer clockwise to travel to A and anticlockwise to return. You’ll need to be in direct moonlight to travel. Don't wait for the next full moon to travel home, no matter what.

Be safe.

KHJ

You leaf through other notes about the Cromer, but they're all more or less the same. You file everything for future use, stacking everything in piles of connected information so that it'll be easier for you to access it in the future. When the clock chimes, you realize how late it is, and you scramble to retrieve your cloak and mask from your room. You shoulder the bag you had prepared in advance before snatching the Cromer. With some hesitation, you also grab a pistol and tuck it into your belt before leaving the hideout.

Hidden in the shadows of the night, you pad down the dark, empty streets of the city. From somewhere nearby, you can hear the damned audio Z has resumed playing since this morning. Once you reach your destination, you allow yourself to rush as you climb up the stairs of the abandoned building.

When you arrive on the rooftop, you relish in the moonlight that bathes you in its essence. You hold the Cromer, which glows in your hands as if anticipating what you are about to do. You take a deep breath, and before you can convince yourself that it is a bad idea, you turn it clockwise.

And then, the world turns upside down.

Suddenly, time becomes palpable. It’s slowing down around you, flowing over and around you as if you’re not part of this world anymore. Enchanted, you bring up your hand, watching the flow slow down until it stops fully. The colors start to dissolve into nothingness, and something pulls at you. The very next moment, you’re falling. You don’t know how long you fall, but you feel it when the world starts to reform around you.

Eyes wide, you take in the unfamiliar surroundings. It’s bright, much too bright and colorful than your own gray world. The alley you have ended up in is isolated, but somewhere nearby, you can hear the sounds of footsteps and vehicles rambling on the road. The noise is punctuated by gleeful shouts and laughter of people. For a moment, you feel overwhelmed. This world is reminiscent of yours before Z took over. You had forgotten how lively a place could be when people are allowed to feel.

Turning in a full circle, you take account of everything around you, stopping short when your gaze lands on a tall stranger leaning against the lone lamp post that lights up the alleyway. The first thing you notice is his hair, a bright orange with red tips that mimics fire. Your gaze then falls on his face; the familiarity of his sharp cheekbones and blazing eyes makes you take a step back in shock. In your chest, your heart beats a mile a minute, and you find yourself struggling with the simple act of breathing. Seeing your distressed state, he takes a step towards you, but you hold up your hand, stopping him in his tracks.

“Give me a minute. My body is adjusting to this place,” your voice is strained. You can tell he doesn’t believe you, but thankfully he says nothing and stays away from you.

You can’t believe Hongjoong would do this to you. He could have mentioned that the people he had contacted were basically another version of themselves. Had he really expected you to take this in stride?

“The Captain didn’t mention it to you because he knew you wouldn’t have traveled here if you knew,” The softness of his voice washes over you, the deep baritone vibrating in your soul.

It’s jarring. Not only does he look the same, but the kindness that burns behind his eyes is also the same. You’ve been on the receiving end of Mingi’s concern so many times, and feeling it once again is surreal. He is not your Mingi, but he is Mingi, and it confuses you.

“Are you—Will you be okay?” He’s perceptive, you’ll give him that. Or maybe it’s simply because he has joined the dots together. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out why you are here, especially after Hongjoong gave them a heads-up.

You nod, still struggling to catch your breath. You take him in, drinking in his appearance greedily. He does the same, even though he can’t see your face considering you’re still wearing your mask. But he watches you with a soft, hopeful expression, and you can’t miss the longing in his eyes. You watch his gaze fall to the device in your hands, and he straightens up as if suddenly realizing something.

“The others are waiting at the warehouse. It’s at the end of this alley,” he says, nodding toward the right before taking a step in that direction. You blanch at the ice in his tone, wondering why his demeanor changed so suddenly.

He doesn’t wait for you, doesn’t look back to make sure you’re following him. You scramble to keep up with his stride, his long legs carrying him faster than you are accustomed to. He watches you from the corner of his eye, one corner of his lip rising as he slows down a bit, allowing you to catch up with him.

“Don’t you dare,” you narrow your eyes at him when he bites his lips to stop himself from laughing. You know what he’s thinking from the way his eyes light up with mirth.

“But I didn’t say anything.”

“You don’t have to,” you roll your eyes, glaring at him, at which he finally lets out a laugh. Sighing exasperatedly, you walk faster, trying to ignore the longing that washes over you. You have to remind yourself that he isn’t your Mingi, regardless of how much he looks or acts like him.

He leads you to the front of an abandoned warehouse, stopping in front of the door. You can hear voices from inside, familiar voices that cause you to freeze up. He allows you a moment to prepare yourself, hand reaching out towards you as if wanting to comfort you, but he thinks better of it when you flinch. He smiles sadly as if he had expected your reaction and opens the door, causing the conversations inside to halt.

You take another deep breath and follow Mingi into the warehouse, peeking at the others from behind Mingi’s tall figure. But, no amount of readiness could have prepared you for the sight in front of you. As soon as your gaze lands on the seven figures, you feel tears poor in your eyes and the familiar sting of heartache tugs at your soul. You can feel your hands trembling, but you clench them against your sides, hoping to appear nonchalant. A traitorous tear slips past your eyes, however, when the feline-eyed boy takes a step towards you and whispers your name with a small, pained smile gracing his lips.

“Do you… maybe want to take a seat?” Hongjoong’s voice is tentative, and you almost snap at him, wanting to tell him that you’re not some cornered animal he has to walk on eggshells around, but stop yourself before you can. He’s not your Hongjoong, and you can’t be mad at him for something someone else did. It wouldn’t be fair to him at all.

“We should leave as soon as possible,” you mentally cheer for yourself when your voice doesn’t crack. “You should wear these, though. We can’t afford to get caught, and those clothes of yours will stand out.”

There’s a beat of silence before all of them jump into action and crowd around your bag, donning the cloaks and masks you had packed. You deliberately look away from them, repeating the words ‘they’re not them’ in your head like a mantra. From the corner of your eye, you do catch Seonghwa’s face pulling into a tentative sort of wince, as if he’s ready for you to burst into tears but ignore him until they’re ready. You face them again when they’re done, noticing that it’s easier to look at them when you can’t see their faces.

“Shall we?”

You hole yourself up in your room for the next few days, and you are thankful that all of them give you some space to tackle the raging emotions inside of you. Returning to the base and seeing all eight of them spread around the space that was used by your comrades was all it took for the controlled facade you built for yourself to break. With a stern warning to not go into any of the eight offices and just stick to the bedrooms, you had rushed to your own, locking yourself up.

You have a stash of non-perishable snacks and some water courtesy of Woo, who had created a small hidden compartment for you to keep them in. And since you have your own bathroom, you really don’t have a reason to leave. You know it’s not right and that you should probably be training them, but you don’t think you’re capable of facing them. Just a few minutes took so much energy from you. How are you supposed to train with them for hours?

You try to clear your mind by doing some yoga, but the clarity brought by it doesn’t last for more than a few minutes, and more often than not, you find yourself sinking back into a pit of despair. Your mind keeps running through memories of your boys, but you feel betrayed. Not just by the fact that they deliberately kept the decoy plan from you but also because you had been kept in the dark about the people you were supposed to bring back to keep The Movement alive. You have so many questions about the reason for their actions, but you can’t really ask anyone. After all, you can never get answers from the dead. And you’re not even sure if you want to find out the answers because you know it will open a whole new can of worms that you would rather keep at bay.

Sighing, you get up from the mess of blankets to grab the water bottle, only to find it empty. A quick scan through your stash shows you that you have no water left in your room. Without much of a choice, you grab your jacket and throw it on before opening your door a crack. You peek out of your room, and since it’s quite late, you don’t hear any movement. Satisfied, you tiptoe past the rooms that line the hallway, not wanting to alert anyone of your movements.

Your plan is foiled when you reach the kitchen and bump into someone, staggering somewhat as the blow makes you lose your footing. An arm steadies you, and you feel the warmth of someone’s cardigan brush against you. Gulping, you brave a look at the person, only to regret it immediately. You find Yunho looking down at you with his brows furrowed in concern. He’s biting his lips as if batting with himself. But then, something shifts, and the storm in his eyes gives way to a softer expression.

“Are you okay?” He asks, releasing you from his hold but not making any effort to create any more distance between the two of you.

“Yeah,” your voice is barely above a whisper, but it rings loud and clear in the silence of the night.

You know he is trying his best not to let his eyes sweep over your form. But even a blind person can notice the worry reflected in his eyes at your disheveled state. With a sigh, he holds out a water bottle for you.

“Drink this and sit down,” his voice is soft but firm, and you don’t resist. It’s easier than being dragged down by your thoughts, anyway. You think he’s about to leave, but much to your surprise, he pulls out two frying pans before grabbing some butter, eggs, and bread.

“What are you doing?” you ask, eyebrows furrowed in confusion as you watch him crack eggs into a bowl.

“Making you a grilled cheese,” he shrugs, your confusion pulling a smile on his lips.

“Why?”

“Well, you have probably been living on snacks for the past couple of days,” he scrunches his nose in distaste, but his voice is laced with compassion and warmth as he grabs a knife from one of the drawers. “And also, it’s the only thing I can cook without burning down the hideout.”

You chuckle involuntarily, watching as his expression lights up at the first happy sound he’s heard from you. He drops some butter into the pan, followed by two slices of bread.

“We were worried about you.”

“Oh,” you mutter, not knowing what else to say.

Comfortable silence encompasses the two of you as he cooks. Images of one of the boys doing something similar crossed your mind. They used to do the exact same thing when you had a nightmare. Though, unlike Yunho, who prepares the meal in silence, the boys would usually tell you stories or make jokes until you were laughing again. You are shaken out of your thoughts when Yunho places grilled cheese and orange juice in front of you.

“Don’t go back to sleep before you have finished all of this, alright?” He hesitates for a moment but pats your head once, “We sort of understand how you’re feeling. But trying to escape from reality won’t do you any good. I hope you can start hanging out with us soon, little Light.”

“Shortie, you can’t be this slow,” Yunho chides you as he hauls you up from the ground, the quick movement disorienting you a bit.

“I’m better than most people at this, though,” you say as you block the incoming hit, dodging all successive attacks Yunho throws at you.

“Yes, but you need to be better.”

“Why?” You whine, ducking just in time for his fist to whoosh past your head.

“Because Captain said so.”

They’ve been training you hard recently, and though you’d appreciate it any other day, you really don’t fancy getting up at the crack of dawn to train with one of them. San and Yunho are usually the worst and leave you feeling achy and wrung out after only a few rounds.

You dodge another attack, but you know that he has the upper hand, and at that moment, as he grins wolfishly at you, you decide to use the one thing you know would take him down and shut him up for the next few days.

‘When aimed correctly, in the right order, and at the right moment, roundhouse kicks can take anyone down. No matter how strong or weak they are,’ San’s voice rings in your ears clear as day. He had shown you the technique a week ago, insisting that you master it as soon as possible.

You see Yunho coming at you for another punch, and you dodge it. He isn’t expecting that and falters on his feet. So, taking the chance, you land a blow of your own. He’s not winded, but he’s surprised and using that to your advantage, you land solid to his kick to his ribs. Unfortunately for you, he grabs your elbow and takes you down with him. He flips you in mid-air, and you find all fight draining instantly when he goes limp.

“Get off,” you groan, trying to push him away from you. “You’re heavy!”

“And you are getting better,” he breathes, smirking down at you even though his lip is bleeding. “Soon, you’ll be able to take all of us down in a fight, little Light.”

The sudden onslaught of memory renders you speechless. A lump forms in your throat, and you freeze in your seat. You can tell that Yunho is unsettled by watching what must have been a storm of emotions reflected in your eyes.

“Don’t,” your voice cracks, but your icy tone is enough for him to take a step back. He gapes at you when you turn your fiery gaze onto him, “Don’t call me Light.”

“What do we call you then?” His voice is a little shaky.

“...Shadow,” Your voice comes out small and strangled.

Yunho blanches, guarded expression faltering instantly, and you swear his eyes well up with tears. But then, before you can think of something to say, he’s walking away, leaving you all alone in the cold kitchen. A sob erupts from your lips faster than you can register the tears falling. You don’t know how to navigate the mess you are in, and unfortunately for you, you do not have the time to.

My Way

bodyguard!mingi x princess!reader

royal au

word count: 18k

genre and warnings: fluff, angst, suggestive, violence warning

synopsis: you, the princess of wonderland, have been betrothed to the prince of utopia for years now. however, the political relation between wonderland and utopia have never improved, and utopia keeps taking over wonderland's land unlawfully. with your guard mingi who is also your best friend and who you have feelings for, you travel to utopia with a plan to deceive the prince and steal official documents that would be proof of their treachery, risking your life in more than one way when you can't hold your feelings for your guard back anymore.

If you were honest with yourself, you really, really were not ready to meet your ‘betrothed’ especially at perilous times like these. 

It wasn’t because of what one would normally think- the obvious nervousness and anxiety that would come with going to meet your betrothed for the first time in 15 years, no. It wasn’t that at all. You couldn’t care less about the poor guy who was betrothed to you. 

Neither was it the nervousness of travelling alone (save for your guards) for the first time in a while. Rather, that part excited you quite a bit- you really needed a breather from the suffocating air of the castle. 

It was because of the threat hanging on your head while you embarked on this journey, and the secret mission you were going to carry out while in the castle of your betrothed. The future of your kingdom Wonderland depended on it. And for the next generations to live without the fear of war and collapse of their homeland, you’d risk getting caught by the neighbouring kingdom and perhaps, risk your life. 

But one person was adamant on making you realise that there were worse things than death-

“Imagine staying in a cell for the rest of your life.”

“At least I won’t witness the collapse of my nation,” you raised a brow as if having proven a point.

Your guard, Mingi, dressed rather comfortably for a guard as you always pointed out, shook his head, the ash tendrils shaking violently. “Imagine hearing from their guards about the horrid details.”

“Well,” you ruffled your dress before sitting down and pouring yourself water. “At least you’ll be with me.”

“Helpless, your Highness,” his raspy voice rang in your ears, “I’d rather die than be helpless while you endure whatever they decide to do with you.”

“Really?” Your eyes lit mischievously, “You’d rather die?”

Mingi finally scoffed, indicating he was relaxing and was going to get comfortable with you now, “Sad that I have to, isn’t it? If it were up to me, I’d deliver you to their cell myself.”

“For a guard who’s supposed to die for me,” you scoffed back, “you sure got some evil plans there.”

Mingi sighed, taking a seat in front of you. As your guard for more than 5 years, there was a certain familiarity between you two which consisted of unspoken actions that spoke louder than words and a sense of comfortableness with each other. He bit his lips as he tried to think of the words to say. “Are you sure we can’t let other guards in on this mission?”

“I don’t trust anyone else,” you said and Mingi felt a sense of pride in his heart at your words, “Plus, they’re all kind of… chickens.”

“What makes you think I’m not?” Mingi laughed, but when your eyes went to his neck, he got his answer. 

3 years ago when he had protected you from an arrow aimed for your head and it had grazed his neck. Everything between you two changed after that- you started trusting him indefinitely and acknowledged him, unlike the various other guards that had been or were in your service. As for Mingi, he simply told you it was his ‘job’ but he didn’t complain about the special treatment he’d started to get-

“Still hung up over that, are you?” He teased. 

Such as being something close to a ‘friend’ to you and talking comfortably. 

You shook your head and exhaled. “Let’s get to the point. This is going to be a very normal trip, Mingi. We go to Utopia, I spend time pretending I have ‘feelings’ for my betrothed and get the information I need, and if I’m lucky, physical proof of the plotting they’ve been doing. You do the protecting, as usual. As soon as I have something, we make our way back-”

“You think he won’t notice? He’ll at least notice when you leave like that. And then they’re going to send their assassins for you.”

“Good thing I’m not a spoiled princess who can’t take care of herself then,” you smirked. 

One of the unusual things about Mingi as a guard was that when he had first been appointed, he had insisted you get professional self-defence training for extreme times. You insisted that you had guards for a reason, trying to avoid anything that involved physical activity, but he had been hell bent on getting you trained.

And oh, was he serious. You came out of dresses and threw men around, and you loved it. You never wanted to wear dresses again and be a princess whose only role was to look pretty for the public. 

Mingi smiled at that. “Can’t believe you’d be happy about it one day. But that training…” his face became grim, “It won’t be enough to protect you for long.”

“Should be enough if it’s you and me, and we only need to get to the border to be safe. Their castle is close to the border so it shouldn’t be that big a problem.”

“What if you find nothing?” Mingi asked as he got up to leave, “Will you end up marrying the Prince then?”

Now that was one thing you hadn’t given much thought to- you’d been avoiding thinking about that. “Let’s just hope I abhor the Prince and don’t end up falling for him. Imagine that. Imagine me willingly staying in the nation who plans our collapse in the foreseeable future.”

Mingi scoffed, “I’d like to see that- not the collapse of Wonderland,” he corrected immediately, a smirk on his face as he continued, “but you putting someone else over your oh-so-mighty self.”

“You live to see my downfall, don’t you?” You threw a pen at his walking figure which missed by an inch. “I bet you’re going to retire as soon as that day comes.”

“Absolutely right,” he saluted, leaving and you shook your head, going back to planning.

Your betrothed- Kim Dohyun. The last you’d seen him was when you both had been kids and unaware of the arrangements your parents had been making. A union, they called it, when in reality, over the 15 years, it just allowed the Kims to take advantage of Wonderland however they pleased, not crossing the boundary but sure walking on the borderline. You simply could not take it anymore, and neither could your parents. They decided to make you visit Utopia in hopes of a love blossoming between you two and the situation cooling down. 

You were going to take this chance to find physical proof of the treachery that had only been building over the years. And in the process, you’d be becoming an enemy yourself- if they found out. 

—--------------------

It was going to take one week to get to the border and one more day to get to Prince Dohyun’s castle. You had been on the road for two days now, and you were already bored out of your mind and incredibly tired.

“Serves you right,” Mingi, who was inside the carriage with you now, resting because of his shift change, said. “This is what you signed up for, Princess. There’s no way you can get home after what you’re about to do.”

“Good thing I have you,” you smirked. “I hope your back is in a good state because you’re going to be carrying me back.”

“No way,” Mingi scoffed, running a hand through his hair but the slight curve of his lips told you he was amused. “Okay, suppose we manage to help each other and make it halfway and something happens to me. I die. You’re all alone. What are you going to do then?”

“Hmm,” you thought about it, resting your chin on your hand as you peeked outside, the forest a lush green in the afternoon sun. “Hide. Blend in and catch a ride?”

“Our accents give us away. No one’s gonna believe you’re a Utopian. You can’t ‘blend in’.”

“Oh, I’ll see when the time comes,” you waved a hand in dismissal, “Right now, I think I’m going to pass away before I reach the border.”

You, of course, didn’t. A few days later you were at the border, very alive, and Mingi gave you a look that told you he remembered what you’d said. You rolled your eyes, peeking out of the window but Mingi immediately grabbed your arm and pulled you away from the window. 

“How many times have I told you,” he sighed as he looked at you, “not to put your head out of any window?”

“Sorry,” you muttered sheepishly, “I just wanted to get a look at Utopia. It’s been 15 years.”

“Just…” he left your arm and you didn’t realise he had still been holding it. “Don’t do anything dangerously stupid.”

You poked his thigh, “People are going to think you actually care, Mingi.”

“Just telling you,” he said as he slumped back, “that if I was not your guard, I would definitely take up any job that put a fair price on your pretty little head.”

You put a hurt hand over your heart dramatically. “Good thing I’m a Princess then and have the power to execute you whenever I please. You’d think as a guard, you’d have more respect- what in the heavens is that?”

Mingi turned to see what caught your attention- it was a very eye-catching carriage that screamed royal. He frowned, wondering if the Prince was going to come out of the carriage- had he really travelled to the border to receive you?

Instead, a man dressed rather neatly jumped out, fixing his black hair. You wowed audibly, earning a scoff from Mingi. “If the Prince isn’t as handsome as him, I’m returning first thing tomorrow.”

Mingi got out of the carriage, greeting the man as he approached. He gave him a firm handshake. “I am Joohyuk, Prince Dohyun’s Captain of Guard. I came to receive our Princess on his behalf.”

You didn’t miss the possessive term he’d used and neither did Mingi. Mingi introduced himself and Joohyuk insisted you travel in their carriage where refreshments awaited. Mingi looked at you and you took a deep breath, getting out of the carriage and passing a curtsy. 

“Utopia smells wonderful- is it the lily trees?”

“Definitely. I suppose it’s a breath of fresh air after your long journey,” he said and you nodded. “I am the Captain of Guard- Joohyuk. Please address me comfortably.”

“I shall,” you nodded. “I hope the Prince is well.”

“He is well and awaits you,” Joohyuk pointed to the carriage. “I hope you’ll join us on the ride he sent.”

“I hope my guard can join with me,” you looked at Mingi sheepishly who nearly rolled his eyes but stopped because of the formal air. “He has a back issue- at his age!”

That was Mingi’s last straw. “Are you sure it’s not because you’ll feel awkward, Princess?”

Joohyuk chuckled, “I see you two get along.”

“We have to, for both our sakes,” you motioned Mingi to follow you and the three of you got inside the spacey carriage where indeed, tarts and cookies awaited. You gladly took a few and kicked Mingi in the foot, unnoticed, when he didn’t move to take some as well. 

You and Joohyuk conversed about the general affairs of Utopia and Wonderland on the way to the inn that he told you was used by the Prince whenever he travelled as well. As you reached the very modern looking inn by night time, you realised the Prince must have an eye for extravagant things. 

When Joohyuk excused himself after making sure you were comfortable in your room, Mingi stopped roaming around the room and took a seat in front of you as you kicked your shoes off. “He’s very talkative.”

“Which is good for us,” you looked at him as you massaged your feet, “The more he talks, the more I can wring out of him.”

“I never said he’s dumb,” Mingi smirked. “He’ll only tell you what he thinks you need to know.”

“A flutter of the lashes can wring out twice than that,” you did exactly that and Mingi swatted the air, apparently disgusted. You sighed, “Will you stay close tonight?”

“Next room,” Mingi pointed, “I won’t be sleeping, if that’s what you’re worried about… or should I?”

“I don’t know,” you took the hair pin out, letting your hair flow down. “You’re the guard.”

“I think I’ll scan the perimeter. I should leave you to rest now.”

“Do get some sleep,” you called as he opened the door to leave, “I don’t want you looking like a puffer fish tomorrow.”

Even though he didn’t get much sleep, he wasn’t the one looking like a puffer fish the next day.

“You look fine,” Mingi groaned as you nearly cried at your reflection in the mirror, “That’s enough icing- you’ll turn blue if you do more. That should be enough to charm any prince.”

“I’m not doing this to charm the Prince… though I suppose we could say that,” you grinned. “You think he’ll even look at me if I appear in this state?”

“Well,” Mingi stood behind you, in front of the mirror, “Let me do something about that.”

You dropped your hands and watched as Mingi loosened your half tied hair, letting a few strands frame your face from both sides. You were more focused on how well dressed he was as well- you hadn’t seen Mingi wear something other than black in years. Blue suited him.. 

“You look good. You shouldn’t look so good. Who are you trying to impress?”

“Maybe a few ladies at the castle,” he grinned, tying the rest of your hair, “Maybe the Prince. Who knows? Maybe the Prince and I could get along better than you two could ever.”

“Ha, ha,” you rolled your eyes and Mingi took a step back to let you see what he did. “Wow. This actually worked. Were you a hairstylist before a guard?”

“This is common sense, Princess,” he laughed, “Come on. Joohyuk must be getting nervous now.”

After a light breakfast with Joohyuk because he insisted a feast was prepared for you for lunch, you travelled the rest of the way in your own carriage, telling him you were representing Wonderland. As you reached the castle, the glassy structure much different from the vintage brick building you were used to living in, you realised the public wasn’t unaware of your arrival- several passersby waved at your carriages and you waved back, wondering for a moment if your arrival could be much more than the mission only you and Mingi knew about.

If you could, perhaps, sort things out without creating a mess and find a suitable life partner in Dohyun.

Because he certainly took your breath away with how striking he looked, and even Mingi snickered as if he could hear you think. It took you two a moment of scanning each other before he bowed and you curtsied. 

“Princess y/n,” he smiled, “It’s been too long.”

“It certainly has,” you smiled back, following him to the Great Hall, admiring the teals and browns along the way. “The castle is extraordinary- it has changed a lot from the last time I visited.”

"I hope it is to your liking, as well as… this feast," he smiled warmly at you as he motioned for you to sit. "Enjoy your meal."

As you dug in the delicacies of their region, you almost forgot Mingi who was sitting not far from you- not because the Prince had you in his spell, but because you were in a trance at how cheerful and talkative he was. It was easier for you this way because you didn't have to sit in awkward silence and think about a topic to converse over. You liked that he could lead the conversation.

"I used to eat 10 of these when I was a kid," Dohyun put a spoonful of chocolate pudding in his mouth.

"I can see why," you nearly scoffed but you were in love with the thing too. "I think I remember your father catching you in the corridor with pudding smeared all over your clothes."

"I don't know whether to be happy or embarrassed that you remember that," he chuckled and you looked at him- for a son of the nation that planned your downfall, he was quite something else. Could this all be an act, or did he genuinely not know anything about the fragile political situation between your kingdoms?

You got the answer to that when he accompanied you to the royal chambers where a whole chamber was for you. "I hope we can put politics aside and get to know each other well, Princess," Dohyun's voice was low and you paused with a raised brow as you looked at him. "I know things haven't been the best but… we could be a means to end this, couldn't we?"

You wondered if he was behaving well so this arrangement could resolve the conflict or if he was genuinely interested in you- you as an individual. You nodded slowly, "I travelled here for a reason, Prince. And so far… I haven't been disappointed at all."

Dohyun smiled after you, nodding as he waved goodnight and left you two in your chamber. You immediately slumped as the door shut and massaged your forehead as you sat down on the couch. You ignored the sounds of disappointment Mingi made. "You two should really become actors. That was quite something back there."

You opened one eye to glare at him sitting in front of you. “Let’s not forget the real reason we’re here, Mingi. The King and Queen were absent throughout the day. Do you think this means they aren’t interested in this arrangement anymore?”

“I mean… considering they were in the castle but too busy to meet you… probably. But Prince Dohyun is playing a diplomat. What’s your plan?”

“I think I should take two or three days to feel him out. Let’s see if he really is interested in peace or not,” you pursed your lips as you recalled what he’d said before he’d left. “He’s quite handsome though, isn’t he? It’ll be a shame if this arrangement was for nothing after all.”

Mingi shook his head, “I knew this was all it was gonna take for you to have second thoughts-”

You threw the nearest thing you could grab which happened to be a small box with something inside and Mingi expertly caught it without flinching, smug. He shuffled the box, frowning as he opened it and his face lit up. “Chocolates!”

“Now, now, hand me that,” you waved your hand but he, out of routine, took one and sniffed it before eating.

“There you go,” he threw the box back at you and your heart warmed at how he always took the first bite out of whatever you were to eat when your maid wasn’t around to check for poison. You made sure he got your look of gratitude before you picked a chocolate and sighed at how scrumptious it was. 

“Suppose this really is a ruse,” you said after a moment. “I need physical proof. You have two to three days to get an idea of the layout of the castle. I’ll figure out where such documents would be hidden.”

The next three days were the most interesting days of your life so far- only because it had been quite boring with your mechanical routine back in your castle. You supposed it would only get more interesting from here and you weren’t sure if it was a good thing or a bad thing.

But so far, so very good. Dohyun lived up to his apparent charms as he showed you around the castle, talked to you about politics or hobbies- you learned that he liked to play the piano and he promised to play it for you soon. You met the King and the Queen who apologised for being ‘busy’ earlier. A dinner together revealed that the King and Queen were, after all, not interested in this arrangement anymore, though they never said it out loud. You just had to thank your intuition for that. They were more interested in gaining leverage over their neighbouring kingdoms and sadly, yours was one of them.

Dohyun, however, was proving to be difficult to decipher. When in the presence of his parents, he would become someone else and agree with everything they had to say. But when it was only you two, he would say something that would contradict his earlier statements. You really were confused, and Mingi suggested you become his ‘friend’ so he could really open up to you.

You did that on your third night here, when you two were in the gardens. You asked Dohyun if he had ever fallen in love with someone.

Dohyun looked at you, “Was I supposed to?”

You smiled at him. “I know there’s an arrangement between us, Dohyun, but really, we were strangers until three days ago. And we are both young. I wouldn’t blame you if you did.”

“Have you?” He shifted towards you.

You sighed, “I didn’t, but if I have to admit, I was open for an opportunity. I just didn’t meet someone I clicked with.”

“I understand,” Dohyun sighed, “You’re right. It would be crazy if we didn’t even look at someone else, right?”

“Exactly what I mean,” you nodded. 

“I haven’t been a saint in that case- but I haven’t gone that far, don’t worry-”

You laughed out loud and he ended up laughing too. You shook your head, “I’m not going to judge you if you have! I’m hoping we can be friends, at least, Dohyun. I’m hoping you can talk to me about anything, even if this arrangement doesn’t meet its conclusion.”

Dohyun put a hand over yours, caressing it and you raised a brow in anticipation. “I know what you mean. You’re here for a month, right?” You nodded and he continued, “Let’s be friends. Let’s be unbiased with each other and if nothing else comes out, I hope we can end things on a good note.”

“Thank you, Dohyun,” you squeezed his hand, “Truly. But…” you caressed his hand, “I’m open to finding my life partner in you, Dohyun. Are you?”

Dohyun smiled teasingly as he nodded and you stifled your own smile as you looked down, ignoring the twinge of guilt in your heart because this wasn’t the entire truth, after all. As if reflexively, you peeked behind you to make sure Mingi was there, and like always, he was there, not far from you two, monitoring you. A constant pillar of strength. He passed a smile that said ‘you’re doing good’ and you sighed in relief internally. 

—----------------

“I have mapped out every known exit in the castle,” Mingi was making a rough sketch on the paper as he addressed you, who were currently polishing her fingernails. “I just need to check for hidden passages.”

“Are you losing your touch?” You teased, “I don’t remember you being slow, Mr. Song.”

“I don’t remember you ever paying attention to how much your nails gleamed but I’m not complaining, Princess.”

You deadpan stared at him and he stared back until his eyes curved as he smiled widely, bursting into laughter and you shook your head. “You really can’t win a staring competition. I wonder how long it takes for you to break apart when you stare at your enemies. And as for the nails… I plan to seduce our Prince.”

“Seduce?” Mingi scoffed, “You? I’m sorry if I’m crossing a line when I say this but I don’t think seduction is your forte, Princess.”

Mingi was really getting on your nerve now and you stopped rubbing your nails as you paid full attention to him. “What makes you think so?”

“I’ve been monitoring you for five years now, in case you forgot,” Mingi went back to making the layout of the castle, “I don’t recall you ever even trying.”

“That means you don’t know yet,” you smiled victoriously, “I just haven’t had the opportunity to try that on someone.”

“Thank goodness you haven’t, because I don’t think I could have stomached the sight of it.”

You sighed as you continued to stare at Mingi, wondering how you’d come here. You let your guard say such blunt things to you, something no guard in the history of Wonderland would have dared to, and yet… you liked it because Mingi wasn’t just your guard. He was your friend. If he hadn’t been your friend and had said such things…

“You look like you want to kill me.”

“I do,” you scoffed, “Just wondering why I let you of all the people in this world talk like that to me.”

“Aw, do you want to execute me for the disrespect?” Mingi made a sad face.

“See?” You threw your hands in the air, the two of you laughing, “I’m both hurt and glad that I have you as my guard and as my friend. I hope you do know that despite everything, I really wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Mingi narrowed his eyes at you, “You’re quite sentimental today.”

“I am,” you smiled, “I also want you to know that your presence comforts me wherever I am. You’re like… a pillar. Pun intended.”

“Carry on,” Mingi said, clearly enjoying it.

“I’m glad for all that I’ve learned from you-”

“Okay, hold up,” Mingi put his pencil down and dragged his seat in front of you, “What do you want?”

You considered not telling him but then you sighed. “I want you to leave me alone when I seduce him.”

“Not a chance,” Mingi shook his head, “I don’t trust him yet.”

“And how long is it gonna take for you to trust him?” You scoffed, “Mingi, this is about protecting my home. I think we both can take a little risk-”

“I cannot,” Mingi shook his head furiously, “I simply can not.”

“Mingi,” you sighed, “It’s not like I’m doing anything weird! I’m not gonna go that far. I only aim to get him a bit comfortable-”

“As your guard, I cannot allow this,” Mingi’s eyes were the most serious you’d seen. “He is in a position where he can harm you. He is not yours officially yet, so as a guard, my job is to hold him back if he tries to harm you. Do you know how badly that could end?”

You knew what he meant- if he interfered, which was his job, it could ruin anything that could start between you and Dohyun. It could be the beginning of the end. You cleared your throat, straightening, “I understand that this is your job. I’ll let you accompany me for a while but when things escalate, I need you to give me privacy, Mingi. This is an order as a Princess.”

“Only if I trust him not to harm you.”

You groaned, “You’re never going to!”

“Yeah, maybe I am not!” Mingi’s voice rose and he got up, “I cannot take this risk, why don’t you understand that?”

“I’ll take responsibility if anything happens-” you stopped when you saw the hurt flash across his eyes and you frowned in confusion.

“You’re never going to understand. I’m not saying this as your guard anymore,” his voice was low and he looked like he was about to take a step forward but then he stopped. “I, as your friend or whatever… I don’t allow this.”

With that, he left, leaving your hand extended in the air about to stop him but you let him go, wondering if he needed to clear his head and think alone, scoffing because now you needed to do the same too. Because… 

You’d never seen Mingi so frustrated. And the way he looked at you…

You shook your head, ridding yourself of stupid thoughts as you started memorizing the layout.

—---------------

"If we get caught," you whispered as you glared at Mingi, "It's going to be the end of us."

"Stop being so dramatic, nobody's getting caught," Mingi gripped your arm tighter. "Besides, if anyone does see us… they won't be walking out of here alive."

"Ooh," you smirked. "That's both scary and-"

You nearly screamed yourself when Mingi jumped, a low squeal coming from his mouth as he hid behind you. You scoffed at the tiny bug that stood- probably scared as well- in front of you.

"I can't believe I'm exploring a secret passage inside the castle of my potential enemy with my guard who is scared of bugs."

"Everyone is scared of something," Mingi muttered, unmoving. "Now do something about it."

You rolled your eyes so hard your head hurt. Handing your torch to Mingi, you bent down and flicked the bug away, clearing the passage for your guard. He bowed in thanks as he took the lead again. You shook your head. "Imagine the enemy has a dagger to my throat. You aim to free me by throwing your own dagger at my captor. But because of a mere bug, you miss, and I die. Imagine getting executed because of a bug, Mingi."

"I'm not always scared," Mingi pouted and you smiled at the adorableness of it, smacking his arm playfully. "We're here- this path leads to the Prince's chamber and this one to the exit."

You were at a fork now and you folded your arms as you calculated how long it took to get here from your room. "2 minutes. That's shorter than the time it actually takes."

"We don't know if the guards or the others know about this passage yet so we should leave without further delay," Mingi pointed to a lit torch not far away towards the exit. "Probably a few people know of this place. Let's blow ours out- you memorised the path, didn't you?"

"I did," you nodded, fixing the torch in an empty stand. "Let's move."

The two of you were moving as silently as you two could, until you reached another divergence and heard faint voices. Before you could do anything, Mingi had you by your arm, nearly slamming you on the wall in the nearest opening so that you two would be hidden unless someone came your way. With a hand on your mouth and a 'shh' in your ear, he got a nod from you and you reflexively held onto his shirt.

The faint voices grew and light filled gradually, allowing you to realise just how close your guard was, his eyes fixed on his hand on your mouth, the other hand resting on your waist. And maybe because it was the dim lights that you scanned his face properly for the first time in a while, taking in the mole under his eye, his sharp nose, his sharp eyes that could be the warmest that you'd ever known within the span of seconds, his thick, plump lips-

He licked them.

Your heart sank to your feet because gosh, he was hot. Unreasonably, undeniably hot and it was a shame that he was only your guard-

As the voices grew louder, he shifted so your bodies were touching and he locked eyes with you. You could see the apology in his eyes but also…

Mischief. No regrets. Or were you reading too much into it? You couldn't tell because you were currently preoccupied by the sensation that coursed through your body at the closeness between you two, and you felt a sudden twinge of guilt because this wasn't the first time you'd felt it.

As Mingi drew back and his absence hit, you reminded yourself that he was only doing his job as your guard. He probably thought of you as a bratty Princess, nothing more. You looked at him, finding it hard to maintain eye contact and Mingi sighed.

"Sorry for that- I wasn't expecting company."

"It's… okay. Not your fault," you whispered back, putting your hand back on his arm and urging him to move and this time you two were quicker and made your way out to your chamber. He hid the entrance with the tapestry that hung and you shook your head. "How did you even figure this out?"

"I may have 'accidentally' slammed myself across this tapestry while avoiding a goddamn bug," Mingi said and you grinned. "I noticed the sound."

"You do realise that if the Prince is aware of this secret path, he could very well enter here anytime? Or send someone?"

"Which is why this," Mingi motioned to the sitting area, "is to be my bedroom now."

"I've been hearing you snore for days now, Mingi," you raised a brow. "You sure you can even hear anyone entering over the sound of your snoring?"

Mingi raised a brow back, "You're lying."

You grinned, slumping on the couch, "I was. I just wanted to check if you're actually doing your duty-"

"I'm the Head of the Guards, you think I'm not aware of my surroundings when I sleep?" 

You laughed at how it looked like he was genuinely hurt that you could think otherwise. "Of course I do, I'm just playing with you," you shook your head in amusement. "Do you think I should sneak up to the Prince's room and give him a surprise?"

Mingi scoffed as he slumped down beside you, massaging his temples. "Go ahead. His guard would probably kill you before he could see you."

"I should practise sneaking up on you," you said casually.

You were serious. One night later, when you couldn't sleep, you didn't even bother picking up your candle since the moonlight was enough and you sneaked out through your room, not making a sound, thanks to Mingi's lessons. You paused in front of Mingi's slightly ajar door- you had to practically fight-argue with him to stop him from sleeping on the couch and to just sleep in his own bed- no one was going to dare creep up on you two. He instead opted on setting a trap at the entrance of the passage beneath the tapestry and slept with his door open.

Which led you to sneak in inside, snickering silently when you saw Mingi sleeping rather peacefully, mouth slightly parted. You walked to the window, finding a little moth sleeping peacefully as well. You picked it up, nearly giggling as you silently treaded to where Mingi was asleep-

He looked really handsome even when asleep.

You couldn't help but compare the dynamic you had with him to the one you had with Dohyun, which, currently, wasn't much. Dohyun was, as a human, nice. Friendly. Caring, even. But…

He wasn't Mingi.

You bit your lip as you tried to stop the longing that coursed through you, recalling the first time when you had looked at Mingi differently- you had sneaked up on him exactly like this as a revenge for all the harsh training he was making you do. You didn't like how strict and serious a mentor he was because you were naturally mischievous even in serious times. So you made the mistake of sneaking up on him when he was asleep and he nearly killed you-

"How long are you going to stand and stare-"

"Goodness gracious," you came out of memory lane, putting a hand over your heart, your eyes wide. "Were you awake?"

"I wasn't but I heard the sound of your footsteps."

"I didn't make a sound."

"I recognised it anyway," Mingi shifted in his position a bit. "What are you doing here anyway?"

"Exactly what you think. And I wasn't staring at you, I was just wondering if you were going to try and kill me like last time."

Mingi shook with laughter as he recalled that time- he had been sleeping on the floor at that time for a quick nap and when you got near, he basically slammed you down on the ground and had a dagger positioned at your throat, which scared the living soul out of you. 

What he didn't know was that something about the way he had looked at you when he recognised you had shifted your heart and you never looked at him the same again.

"You want me to do that to you again?" Mingi scoffed, "because you're asking for it at this point, really."

"No, thanks," you pursed your lips. "I'm good. I do have this for you-"

Mingi swatted your hand and the moth went flying away and you pouted. He stared at you for a minute before he raised a brow because you were still standing and he didn't know what you wanted. "You wanna sit down, Princess?"

Your eyes involuntarily fell to the space beside him on the edge of the bed and he scooted away so you could sit. You did so, one knee up and you sighed, "I couldn't sleep. I'm just… nervous about tomorrow."

"It's just a date," Mingi said but something about his tone was restrictive. "It's your chance to feel him out. He is your betrothed- you really need to see if there is a future with him after all."

"I can't believe you're the one saying this," you muttered and he frowned in confusion. "I just… What if everything is politically fine and we don't have to go with the mission even, but I don't… feel a spark for him? What if I don't want to marry him, Mingi?"

Mingi's heart clenched at the way your voice came to be barely a whisper as you said his name. He gulped. "I'm not the one you should be talking to about this-"

"You are the only one I can talk about this to," you made sure your eyes conveyed your trust as you said this. "I could never say this out loud to someone else, and you know that."

Mingi sighed, putting an arm under his head so he could look at you better, still lying down. "I'm only a guard. Okay, maybe a friend too. So as a friend… talk to your parents?"

"They'll never allow this," you practically spat as you said, "They always disapprove of everything I do. You know that all too well."

He did. They were against the training Mingi had you take but he had convinced them, emphasizing the need for self-defence thanks to the history of assassinations and murders that met your ancestors. They also disapproved that you were friendly with Mingi but his professional attitude made them dismiss that. 

His professional attitude and your stubbornness to not cooperate with any other guard. But he did not know that.

"Why do you think you won't like him, if everything else is okay?" Mingi asked, wondering if he should be having such a private conversation with a Princess, but then again… you never made him feel like a mere guard.

"I don't wish to stay beside someone I don't love. I could miss the chance of being happy for the rest of my life because of one wrong decision."

"But decisions like these… you never really know if you're right until you're halfway there, isn't it?"

You smiled at that. He was right. You stared at him, wondering if he could see what you felt for him in your eyes. If he did… 

Was he ignorant or dismissing it on purpose? And if it was the latter, did it mean he didn't return the feelings?

"You look like you're about to cry, and I cannot have that."

You laughed, looking up as you stifled the tears. You felt Mingi scoot a bit and he touched your hand hesitantly but you snaked your fingers in his. He squeezed it reassuringly. "I'm by your side, Princess. Don't be scared."

You nodded, looking at your intertwined hands and staring at them for the longest time as flashes of what could be a happy future with Mingi ran across your eyes. You looked at him, nearly asleep, and you took that chance to kiss his hand, making him look at you with surprise.

"You're everything I need Mingi. And everything I'll ever need. Thank you for being the way that you are."

Before he could respond, you let go of his hand and went to your room, leaving him wondering just what you meant. 

—---------------

Dohyun proved to be a good person throughout your day, his manners very much like a gentleman, and you liked that he could make you laugh. He showed you around town, making sure you were comfortable, buying you anything that caught your attention, and even treating you to the town’s best desserts.

“I have to admit, you have quite a sense of humour,” Dohyun said as he finished eating his vanilla ice-cream. “You don’t let me breathe.”

“That means I’m doing a great job,” you smiled, finishing your own chocolate flavoured ice-cream as well. “I also have to admit that your reputation precedes you.”

“How so?” Dohyun was curious, running a hand through his dark hair before resting his chin on his hands.

“You know,” you shrugged, “I’ve heard things about you. You’re better than what I heard.”

“And what does that mean for me?” Dohyun wiggled his brows flirtatiously.

“Well,” you leaned forward, scanning his face, “Maybe this princess would have to consider you properly after all… But as a prince, don’t you have something you’d use to woo me? Like… a winning strike?”

“Ah, I see how it is,” Dohyun laughed, understanding that you were both serious and pulling his leg at the same time- he liked that about you. “We’ll have to be back at the castle for that. Piano does the trick usually. But… what’s your winning strike, Princess?”

“Hmm, let’s see,” you pouted as you thought about it, “Do I even need one?”

“That’s not fair!” Dohyun shook his head and you laughed.

“Well, you have to blame my lack of experience in that department.”

“You make it sound like I spent all my years practising how to win- or rather, ‘woo’ people.”

“I imagine that you did, Prince,” you teased. “After all, with someone who looks like you… it’d be a shame if you weren’t a professional in that department.”

“Ah,” Dohyun sat back. “Sometimes I can’t tell if you’re serious or not.”

“And that’s what’s so fun about chatting with me,” you got up. “Shall we?”

The two of you rode back to the castle, where Dohyun opened up about some embarrassing incidents from the past with women. You learned that he wasn’t always good at interacting which led to awkward circumstances, such as a few ladies making advances, not knowing he was ‘betrothed’, and then never showing themselves again when they learned.

“But it’s not like we were engaged,” you frowned. “Our parents just thought it would be a good idea and gave us the chance to see if we feel so too, didn’t they?”

“Yeah, but people tend to think it’s more romantic than that,” Dohyun sighed. “Don’t you think they made a mistake announcing that publicly? It may have driven off our chances at something better.”

“I agree that there is a possibility of that, and also a possibility that this was a good decision after all. I guess we’ll know as time passes by. Can I trust you to tell me if you feel like I’m not the one for you? I wouldn’t want you to marry me under… pressure.”

Dohyun nodded, understanding. “But… you have to admit there’s a factor of pressure holding us down as well, no matter how miniscule it is. It changes how we think of each other.”

He was right. You nodded slowly, wondering if this was a good time to learn how he thought of you as a rival kingdom’s daughter. “Suppose there was no agreement between us, and I came to smoothen things up between our kingdoms. What do you think would have happened?”

Dohyun fell silent for a moment, and you knew whatever came out of his mouth wouldn’t be entirely true then. “I think we would still get along like we do now. But… I would, of course, have to put my kingdom first before any sort of relationship, just like you would do.”

“That’s right,” you nodded. “Are we still putting our kingdom first, Dohyun?”

“Isn’t that why you’re here in the first place?” He smiled, “We’re here.”

After freshening up in your own rooms, he gave you the promised tour of the library. You wowed as you entered the grand room, numerous shelves lining the walls, ample space to sit and study. “Do you come here often?”

“Not as much as I used to,” Dohyun sighed. 

“I suppose you know your history,” you asked and he nodded. “Are history books truly different in every kingdom?”

“Everyone has created their own version of the past,” Dohyun said, guiding you to the shelf which contained the history of how the kingdoms of Wonderland, Utopia, and other nations that were once one broke apart. “I suppose history is the people, and people tend to be biased.”

“I agree,” you said, “I happened to read the history books of Eden and Halaland. Their versions were quite different from ours.”

“Nobody would paint themselves as the enemy now, would they?” He looked at you and you shrugged in agreement. “To their people, everyone is the hero.”

“But as rulers, we have to be unbiased and objective. Facts before anything else.”

“And what are your facts?” Dohyun smiled as he asked. “Are you sure your facts are correct?”

“Let’s see…” you smiled, “Would you like to have a battle of facts?”

The two of you ended up discussing the history of independence, finding out it was pretty much the same for both of you. You started leaning towards the relationship between Wonderland and Utopia, since this was probably the only chance you’d get and learning how he thinks and makes decisions.The two of you promised each other it won’t affect your judgement of each other- after all, you two were only sharing what you’d learned from your ancestors.

It ended up in a heated argument nonetheless. You scoffed as you almost glared at him. “Trade. How many times precious cargo from Wonderland has ‘gone missing’ on the way to Eden?”

“Are you implying Utopia has something to do with it?” Dohyun raised a brow.

“I mean,” you passed him a smug look, “It only goes missing when we take the shortcut- from Wonderland to Utopia to Eden. But whenever we go around Utopia- Halaland, Mist Island, and then Eden, though the journey takes twice as long, there hasn’t been one instance where the cargo vanished.”

“And why do you think Utopia has something to do with that?” Dohyun smirked. “It could be your people smuggling things here.”

“In which case, both of us would be to blame, wouldn’t it?” You challenged and you two stared at each other before he gave in, chuckling.

“Fair enough,” he clapped once. “While we’re on this topic, I do have something I should address too. The border situation in the North.”

“Sensitive topic,” you smiled but nodded. “What do you think?”

“What I know is that the people of Wonderland in the north love to aggravate the temper of Utopians.”

“And what I know is that Utopians are planning and slowly taking over the North.” You looked at him and noticed how he didn’t flinch.

“What makes you people think so?”

“Apart from the fact that we already lost a chunk of land to Utopia?” You challenged.

“If we truly ‘took’ it, wouldn’t we have declared it our territory officially?”

“It could be a part of your plan,” you said and Dohyun gaped at you, making you break the tense atmosphere and laugh in dismissal. “I’m just saying! You’d think so too if you were in my shoes. And I’m only saying what I know- doesn’t mean it’s necessarily the truth.”

“Yeah,” he nodded, relaxing as he sighed. “I’m also… only stating what I know. Of course, I haven’t witnessed the situation myself so I’m dependent on the people who provide me the information.”

“They could always be lying,” you told him, “We should never fully trust the people who provide us the information.”

“Wise words,” Dohyun smiled. “I should keep that in mind. This was… fun, actually. You’d make a great leader, Princess.”

“And so would you,” you smiled, struggling to make it reach your eyes. “You’ve made it so much easier for me to make my decision regarding you now.”

“Oh? And what would that be?” Dohyun’s eyes lit up.

“Well…” you passed a flirtatious smile, “I think I should really hear you play the piano before I tell you.”

He laughed, getting up and offering you his arm which you took, following him to the room attached to the library where several musical instruments were placed and it looked like someone played them regularly. You smiled. “It’s a nice idea to have music playing near the library.”

“The one thing I really like about the castle,” Dohyun nodded, going to sit in front of the piano and checking the keys while you walked around, your hands sweating.

You had made your decision. 

It was going to be extremely difficult to live with Dohyun when he truly believed Utopia could never be at fault. You knew now that marrying him would change nothing of the political situation between your kingdoms- it would only give Utopia even more leverage. So you would really have to carry on with your mission now.

And everything following this moment depended on you making Dohyun believe you were truly in love with him. You would have to tread carefully from now on, and somehow get access to his chamber where he must be keeping the documents regarding the border since he was in charge of the situation there.

“I’m ready when you are,” Dohyun called and you urged him to start, going to stand beside him. 

But despite everything, you had to admit he certainly was charming. The way he played the piano was beautiful, and you gently sat down beside him, resting your head on his shoulder as he played something beautiful that made you calm. 

It was truly a shame that Dohyun had to be the enemy’s son.

As he played, you thought about Mingi. The joy in your life. Your guard. If you, a Princess, got in a relationship with your guard… if anyone learned of that back in your home, you knew Mingi wouldn’t be spared. You wouldn’t be spared as well. 

Tears threatened to spill from your eyes as the haunting melody played in your head. When you decided to visit Utopia, you truly wanted to forget about Mingi and consider Dohyun, but coming here only strengthened the feelings you had for your guard. Perhaps, he liked you too, but you knew he had way better control than you had. Could you truly not be with him? What rule said that you could not be with a man who happened to be your guard as well? What better partner than someone who would willingly give his life for you, who cared for you more than his own self?

Dohyun stopped playing and he rubbed your back when he saw your glazed eyes. You pretended that it was for him. You wiped your eyes. “You played beautifully.”

It was the truth. He did not need to know that his beautiful playing evoked memories of another man. Dohyun smiled, tucking your hair behind your ears. You were suddenly glad that Mingi wasn’t here because you were sure your eyes would have betrayed you if you looked at him now. 

“You’re beautiful, you know that?” Dohyun almost whispered, caressing your cheek. You suddenly felt your heart tighten with panic as he drew closer and closer-

You bit your lip to stop the sigh of relief when you heard a knock- truly a god-sent miracle as Dohyun, disappointed, pulled back and cleared his throat. It was Joohyuk. “You’re needed in the courtroom. Right now.”

Dohyun nodded and you two got up. “Thank you for a wonderful time, Dohyun. I’ll never forget today.”

Dohyun kissed your hand before following Joohyuk, taking you with him until you parted ways in the corridor. You made your way back, escorted by his guard, holding back your tears as you entered your chamber-

And there sat Mingi, sharpening his daggers. You sighed in relief when you saw him but you knew it was a bad time. Mingi saw your glazed eyes and put his daggers down. “Are you okay? Did he say something to you?”

“I’m… okay, he didn’t say anything,” you took a deep breath. “I just… need to be alone right now.”

He saw the tears spill before you went to your room, and you slumped down on the floor as you cried. Mingi knocked on your door, asking you to find him if you wanted to talk. It only made you cry harder, and then you hastily wiped your eyes as anger consumed you.

You’d go back to your home. You’d break all the rules that said you couldn’t be with someone not of your status. You’d change the law if there was one about this, though to your knowledge, there wasn’t actually a law, but since you were considered to be someone else’s betrothed, you were bound now. Being with Mingi now would only put a threat on his life, but you’d protect him with yours.

You just needed to see if Mingi felt the same way about you. Because if he didn’t…

You’d never be whole again.

—------------

That night, you told Mingi everything that happened between you and Dohyun, now in a better mood since you had a plan. 

“So, with a heavy heart, I regret to inform you that we need to carry on with our life-threatening mission of me finding access to his chamber, which is definitely where he hid those documents that will give us the proof to save Wonderland. And what better way to access a man’s chamber than to-”

“You’re not doing that to yourself,” Mingi shook his head.

“It’s okay, Mingi,” you sighed. “Dohyun, as a person, isn’t all that bad. He won’t do anything that crosses the line.”

“But what is your plan? What happens after… he takes you there?”

You grinned. “Remember that trick you learned from the magician that came with the circus two years ago? That fire trick?”

“Don’t tell me you’re setting the Prince on fire.”

“Of course not,” you slapped Mingi’s arm. “I’m setting his room on fire.”

“Unbelievable,” Mingi shook his head, looking despaired. “Why?”

“When there’s a fire, dear old guard,” you smiled, “Our eyes immediately move to our dearest possession. I don’t think his dearest possession is me yet, so he’ll naturally look in the direction of whatever box or safe he keeps. After that… we wait for him to go on one of his tours so we take this passage to his room and voila.”

Mingi stared at you, arms folded. “I have to admit that the plan is quite genius,” you smiled victoriously at that, “but very risky. You’ll need to practise that trick. Not everyone can get the hang of that, but considering you’re good with cards already…”

“See?” you flipped your hair, “I have it all planned out.”

Mingi got up, showing you how the trick worked. It involved a single card dipped in a very flammable potion, and a little friction would spark it. You’d only have to hide the card in your sleeve and rub it across the rough part of Dohyun’s clothes and throw it on the nearest fabric. The card would turn to soot and disappear in a second, leaving you completely innocent. No one would suspect anything or anyone- not a mere princess, at least.

Because no one knew that you were trained as good as any soldier. To everyone else but Mingi, you were only a spoiled royal who knew nothing except how to look pretty and how to play politics, like every other princess.

A few hours later, you mastered the trick. The only thing left now was to practise igniting it on your partner’s clothes.

“So I’m going to obviously have to, um…” you pursed your lips, “do… things to the Prince and let him do things to me-”

“Shut up,” Mingi put a hand over his ears, his laugh not quite as hearty as it usually was.

“Can we pretend to be in a…” you tried to find the right word as you struggled with motioning with your hands, “compromising? position- so I can practise- oh, bloody hell, let’s just get this done with.”

You threw your hands in the air as you took Mingi’s hands and put them on your waist, making him utterly surprised and you put your hands on his shoulder, locking eyes with him. “Just like we’re dancing, yeah?”

With much struggle, because you had no idea what Mingi felt right now, he nodded, his hands resting on your hips and bringing you closer. “Let’s be professional about this.”

You raised a brow at how his voice was raspier now, nodding and snaking your hands behind his neck. “You’re too tall. Bend down a little- Dohyun’s height.”

Mingi did and you rubbed the card on his collar, the card catching fire and you immediately blew it. “This works! Does it smell?”

“No- the potion makes sure you can’t smell anything until it spreads,” Mingi said, stepping back away from you. “Are you sure you can do this?”

“Well,” you gulped, deciding to risk everything now. “I’ll need to kiss him.”

Mingi groaned at the unnecessary revelation. “And? You seem to have no problem with that.”

“I do have one,” you stifled your smile as you looked at him. “I don’t know how to kiss.”

“Ugh, why am I your guard again? I don’t need to know that! I’m supposed to be protecting you, not listening to your lack of experience!”

You laughed at how flustered he was. “For a guard, you sure have quite a few things to say to me, eh?”

Mingi looked at you- he knew he was to blame too. He never realised when exactly you two became so comfortable with each other, when you started sharing personal things with him, when he started telling you about himself… he was only supposed to protect you but he had ended up becoming your friend, which he knew was highly unprofessional. 

“I have a serious problem here, Mingi,” you said, putting your hands over your hips, “This plan won’t work if I can’t even kiss him properly.”

“So what’s your next plan?”

“I don’t have another plan,” you said quietly, your heart beating rapidly now. “I need you to teach me how to kiss.”

“Say that again?” Mingi frowned, wondering if he heard it wrong. You exhaled, locking eyes with him.

“I need you…. To teach me how to kiss.”

Mingi gaped at you. “You’re not serious.”

“I am,” you said through clenched teeth. “Be professional about this. Everything depends on this single plan, which is the only possible route I see. Everything depends on how I perform… all this. If I can’t do it properly, Wonderland could fall.”

“Wonderland could fall if you don’t know how to kiss someone properly?” Mingi scoffed.

“Mingi. Think about it.”

Mingi did, and realised you were right. “Well.. you know, I don’t have to teach you. It just… happens. You’d be good, don’t worry.”

“Mingi.”

Mingi groaned, his ears red, “I can’t do this, Princess. I cannot touch you. I am your guard. I would be executed if anyone learns of this- nevermind me, you’d have to face worse things than a mere execution if anyone learns you’re doing such things with a mere guard-”

“But you are not a mere guard to me,” you took his hand. “Never think that you are only a guard to me. You are… much more. If I tell you what you mean to me, you’d resign first thing, Mingi.”

Mingi sighed at that, squeezing your hand. “This shouldn’t be happening.”

“Who said that?” You tilted your head, smiling. “And besides… nothing would happen if no one would learn. We’re not in Wonderland, Mingi.”

Mingi looked like he was considering but then he broke apart, turning away from you and running his hands through his hair, his body tense. “What do you want me to do?”

“I want you to kiss me.”

Mingi groaned loudly. “I can’t do that.”

“Why?”

“Because nothing about this would be professional, because I…” he paused and a spark of hope formed in your heart.

“Go on.”

“I can’t kiss you and go back to pretending to be only your guard.”

You sighed at how it came only as a whisper. You stepped closer to him, wrapping your arms around his waist, resting your head on his back. “The things I feel for you, Mingi… if you learned you’d run away from me.”

He sighed, looking down, his head blank. He put his hands over yours, attempting to break them but you weren’t having any of it. 

“Tell me you don’t feel something for me, and I’ll let you go.”

“I can’t lie.”

You sighed in relief. “Then kiss me.”

“I can’t.” He almost cried. “I can’t touch you if I can’t have you.”

“You already have me, my dear warrior,” you smiled. “I was only ever yours.”

Mingi pulled your hands away, walking away from you. “This is a bad idea. Think about the consequences for once.”

“Damn the consequences,” you seethed. “This is an order, Mingi. I want you to kiss me like you mean it-”

It took him only a second to turn and hold your face in his hands as his lips found yours, swallowing the groan of surprise that left you. He kissed you repeatedly until you kissed back and it was the most natural thing you’d ever experienced, the feel of his plump lips indescribable. Your legs were weak and you held in to the back of his neck, your kisses turning more heated and frantic until you both broke apart for breath.

You were smiling- you were the happiest you’d ever been. And Mingi… he looked the most content as he brushed his nose with yours, picking you effortlessly by the waist and placing you on the table so you met his height. He looked at you, unguarded for once and you saw everything you needed in his eyes. 

“Don’t ever give me an order like this again,” he whispered.

“I’m sorry,” you giggled. “I had to do something.”

He shook his head and you caressed his face lovingly, smiling at the feel of his soft ash hair that you drew back. His hands rested on your waist, sending sparks through you and you continued to look at him, memorising his face. You pecked his nose, making him grin, then you kissed the mole on his cheek, under his eye, that you adored. You joined your foreheads. “Let’s run away, Mingi. I can’t live if I can’t have you.”

“We’ll figure it out,” he promised, pecking your lips. “So… was that enough to learn how to kiss?”

You grinned at his teasing tone. “I don’t think so.”

Mingi scoffed before he kissed you again, this time softly, like a first kiss, experimentally moving his lips against yours and you followed his lead, moaning into the kiss repeatedly until he couldn’t take it anymore- especially when you wrapped your legs around him. The kisses picked pace and force as he pushed you back until your back curved and you fell flat on the table. His hands travelled along your curves and yours played with his hair. You managed to earn a few satisfying moans as well, and he finally broke apart.

“Shall we take this to bed?” You managed to say and he shook his head, amused.

“I won’t be able to stop if I take you to bed,” his voice was incredibly low and rough as he whispered in your ear, trailing kisses down your jaw. “This… is enough. For now.”

“One last,” you got up and met his lips, the two of you smiling into it and you broke apart, waving the burning card in your hand and he laughed in surprise.

“I never noticed. You’re good at this!”

“I learned from the best,” you blew the fire. “You’re… a great teacher.”

Mingi rolled his eyes, placing you down. “That’s enough playing. Go to bed. You have to get your beauty sleep. The Prince won’t be kissing you if you look like a puffer fish-”

“Hey!” You tried smacking him but he dodged, mockingly waving at you before going to his room, leaving you lovestruck as you sighed dreamily.

—---------------

Finding an idea to get to Dohyun’s chambers was fairly easy- you asked to see his childhood pictures, and he would only have that in his room.

You noticed the odd tapestry in his living room, which would surely be the entrance to the secret passage. As he picked an album, you picked every entry and exit spot. 

Getting him to kiss you was fairly easy as well, since you two had already been interrupted not long ago. You walked around his living room, commenting on every picture that hung on the wall, wondering if there were more which was when he guided you to his bedroom. 

Then all it took was a longer than usual glance for him to wrap his arms around your waist and lean forward for permission. 

Though he was a good kisser, you felt nothing. Your only focus was calmly snaking your arms around his waist and throwing the burning card in the direction of the candle, which toppled over and set fire to the carpet. You both pretended not to have heard that and you continued kissing him without breaking apart, letting the fire spread. You also were the first to break apart, a confused look on your face as you sniffed.

“Fire,” you whispered, and Dohyun turned around, looking in the direction of the fire and then under the table beside the window. You, pretending to worry, snatched the sheets off his bed.

“Quick- let’s put it out!” You shouted as you threw the sheets on the fire and stomped, and he pulled you back, doing the job himself and asking you to call the guards. You did and the fire was out before spreading too much, thankfully.

“The candle must have lost balance,” Dohyun sighed, caressing your hand. “Are you okay?”

“I am,” you sighed, “though I was quite startled. I could taste the fire in our kiss.”

“And you thought you set me on fire?” Dohyun laughed.

“You would have thought so too,” you pouted.

“Well,” Dohyun caressed your hand, looking at you lovingly. “You did set my heart on fire.”

“Oh, come on,” you slapped his chest playfully, “since when did we switch roles?”

He kissed your hand. “Thank you for acting quickly. I was quite flustered back then. It would have spread if it weren’t for you.”

You smiled and the guards came out of the room, having cleared it. You cleared your throat. “I should get going.”

“Let me walk you to your room.”

“You don’t have to,” you said but he insisted and you agreed. Dohyun promised to take you to the waterfall nearby soon.

“How soon?” You asked. 

“I have to travel West to meet some people,” he told you- you already knew that thanks to Mingi sneaking around. “I’ll be back the day after tomorrow. Let’s go after that.”

“It’s a date,” you said and he nodded, kissing your cheek as you reached your room. 

“Goodnight, Princess.”

You watched him leave, hoping this was the last time you ever saw him, because the only way he would be seeing you in the foreseeable future would be if you get caught. After he vanished, you entered your room, going straight into Mingi’s arms.

“It’s done,” you told him, sighing into the hug. “Let’s get the job done tomorrow night.”

“I’m so proud of you,” Mingi whispered, kissing your forehead. “You did well. You’ll make Wonderland proud.”

“I hope we both live to see that,” you said and he squeezed you. “Sleep with me tonight, Mingi.”

Your vulnerable tone told him that you were considering every possibility of the future, such as how this could be the last time Mingi and you were together. So Mingi nodded, waiting for you to change and call him, and then he lay down beside you, holding you while you rested your cheek on his chest. He caressed your hair which relaxed you indefinitely. You looked up at him, tracing the outlines of his face. “I have things to tell you, Mingi, before tomorrow comes. Because I know there’s a high chance that we could get separated, or worse.”

“Hope for the best, Princess,” he said. “I’ll never let you go. I’ll always be with you, you know that.”

You nodded. “I want to tell you that I love you. That I’ll fight for you when we get home. You’re no longer my guard, Mingi. You’re my partner. Anyone who dares try to hurt you would have to deal with me first.”

Mingi smiled, pulling you up and kissing you deeply at that. “I love you too. In more ways than I could imagine. I’ll always protect you, whether I’m your guard or not. And anyone who tries to hurt you will regret even thinking they had a chance.”

You laughed, pecking his cheek. “You’re quite a romantic.”

“Oh, you don’t know me yet, Princess,” he smirked, flipping you and getting on top of you, dragging his lips down the side of your face and trailing kisses down your neck and you couldn’t help but moan shamelessly. Perhaps it was the longing and desperation, mixed with the fear that this could be your last night together that made you both senseless in love, kissing each other frantically because there really could be no tomorrow, getting rid of your garments until you were skin on skin and having each other in every way possible, kissing each other on every inch of the body until it was dawn.

—-----------

“Bug!” You whispered and Mingi jumped, making you laugh silently, putting a hand over your mouth.

“We could get executed if we get caught,” Mingi whisper-shouted at you, “And you’re pranking me? While we’re on the way to steal documents from the Prince’s room? Seriously?”

“I’m sorry,” you grinned, “you know I get like this when I’m under pressure.”

Mingi shook his head, taking the torch from your hand and blowing it out when you reached the stairs. “We travel in the dark now. Hold my hand.”

You did and he guided you along, your steps as silent as a cat’s, following the wall until you two stood out in the assumed exit to the Prince’s room. “There could be guards in his living room. That’s where we are, right?”

“Guards are usually stationed outside when the Prince is not home,” he said, “but we have to be extra cautious.”

Mingi got the feel of the door- he was going to have to slide it but it would make a sound when he would first push it. He would have to wait- if the guards were inside, they’d figure out the source. If they were outside, they would dismiss it as wind.

Thankfully, no one came to kill you in the first few minutes after that sound and Mingi slid the door, asking you to wait. You waited anxiously for a minute before he came back for you. You led him to the room, sitting down near the table and feeling the wood, removing the block that sounded hollow and finding the box. It contained a few jewels, some pictures and-

“There it is,” your tone was bitter. “The proof we needed.”

A document ready to be made official, waiting only for a final signature. Document that stated that the area in the north that was once Wonderland’s, that the Utopians occupied, was now officially theirs. You sighed, regretting that you were right about all of this. It truly was a shame that it came down to this. 

“Let’s go,” Mingi rubbed your back and you nodded, placing the box back and leaving like a ghost, going to your room to grab your already packed bags and change into commoner clothing so you could pass undetected in the city. You tied your hair into a quick braid and wore your cloak over your head, taking out the hair-pin that Dohyun had gifted you. Mingi caught you staring at it.

“I could do this alone,” Mingi said and you looked at him. “I could get these documents to Wonderland. You could pretend you knew nothing.”

You placed the hair-pin on your bedside. “We’re in this together, through thick and thin. Let’s pray the Prince does not check his box first thing when he comes back and finds we’re missing.”

He nodded- you two were going to leave your guards and your belongings here, taking only the necessities. If you were lucky, the guards would be sent to search for you, and Mingi had already informed one of his trusted guards to get back to Wonderland the first chance they got. You prayed your guards would return home unscathed.

Taking Mingi’s hand, the two of you started your escape journey, going through the passage in utter darkness, depending only on Mingi’s senses until you could see the light coming from the exit. Mingi sighed as he peeked outside. “Guards right outside. We’ll have to wait till they move.”

“I hope they do,” you whispered, “because we don’t have all night.”

Waiting in silence, it took the guards around 20 minutes to move. Mingi squeezed your hand. “When I say run… you run like hell. And you remember what to do if we get separated?”

“Follow the wind,” you nodded. “You’ll find me.”

“And if I don’t?”

You gulped. “I will continue home.”

Mingi kissed your forehead. “Let’s go.”

He jumped down first, catching you when you jumped and you hid behind the bushes- you’d have to climb the wall. This was, perhaps, the riskiest part of it all. Mingi went first, making sure no one was on the other side as he threw a rope and you climbed-

All the air in your lungs left through a gasp when an arrow narrowly escaped you and hit the wall next to you. Mingi sent a dagger for one of the two men that came after you, getting rid of him instantly, and you took out your daggers and went into close combat, using the element of surprise when the guard hesitated after recognizing you and burying the dagger in his heart. Shaken, you looked at Mingi who extended his hand and you immediately climbed, jumping down after him and running towards the forest nearby.

The two of you stopped to catch your breath once you were inside the thick of the forest and you slumped down, staring at Mingi in utter disbelief of what you just did.

“I know,” Mingi wrapped his arms around you, “The first kill… it’s always the hardest. But you did it to save your home, your kingdom. Remember that you saved so many lives- let’s hope we get to see the end of it and none of that is in vain.”

“But…” you took a deep breath. “He must have a family. I wouldn’t have finished him if he hadn’t recognised me- it’s not okay.”

“You didn’t do that to protect only yourself,” Mingi squeezed your shoulders. “It’s going to get harder from here. You can still go back.”

You looked up at the sky, taking a deep breath and standing. Your eyes were steel. “Let’s move. For Wonderland.”

“For Wonderland,” Mingi got up and kissed your knuckles, “And for my Princess.”

—-------------------

It didn’t take long for the Prince to catch up to what had happened. 

The castle was in a frenzy after finding two guards killed right next to the castle wall. Perhaps wondering if there were robbers, or worse, assassins, the guards put the castle in a lockdown, searching for whoever dared trespass. All it took was the guards to make sure that their guest, the Princess, was safe to find out that she was missing.

Along with her guard.

But it looked like the Princess had been ‘taken’ since there was still half a cup of warm tea in the Princess’ room with a book open, and the guards didn’t think of any other possibility, wondering if Mingi had been killed and hidden somewhere or had gone to save his princess.

The Prince came back sooner than anticipated, worrying about your disappearance first, not suspecting anything for a good while and sending as many men as he could in search for you until one day later when he found out which document, exactly, was missing. 

It didn’t take him long after that to join the missing pieces of the story. That you, the Princess of Wonderland, had come to Utopia with an ulterior motive and had successfully fooled everyone in the castle. The search turned into a hunt then.

And you were regretting not having a faster route to get to Wonderland. You had almost been caught twice within two days and since you were on foot, it would take another two days to get to Wonderland, only if you were quick enough.

“I think you should have made me practise running more,” you breathed as Mingi led you through the trees after hearing the faint noise of horses in the distance. There weren’t many people who travelled through this part of the forest so he figured it must be the guards. “My legs are giving away.”

“Save your breath and don’t talk,” Mingi scoffed- he knew you were being partly dramatic but also partly truthful. “Let’s have a good night’s sleep tonight if we’re lucky.”

You scoffed back- luck was running shorter with every passing hour. As if to prove that point, a soldier on a horse blocked your way and Mingi sent a dagger before his bow could find any one of you. 

“Tell me we can take this horse.”

“It’s better to hide,” Mingi said to your dismay and you groaned before following him again. Hiding behind a tree for a moment, you two stocked up on your weapons, loading your bows. You looked at Mingi whose back rested against the tree trunk, his chest heaving up and down. 

You patted his arm. “Tired?”

“Of you? Definitely,” Mingi smirked and you gasped, slapping his chest. 

“I ought to leave you here,” you muttered.

“You won’t even make it to the border without me,” Mingi teased and you glared at him. 

“Well then, why don’t you go ahead yourself then? I’ll go back to the castle-” You were interrupted by Mingi pulling you towards him and pecking your cheek.

“I can’t make it anywhere without you as well, if that comforts you.”

You rolled your eyes, biting your lip as you looked away. “We better be getting a good night’s sleep tonight, Mingi.”

Mingi raised a brow at that, saluting and the two of you carried on running again, the setting sun providing you a sense of comfort. And when you started to hear the birds again, you knew that you’d successfully lost the ones who chased you. Settling down at the edge of the river, you washed the sweat off your face first before drinking gulps of water clumsily through your hands, and Mingi bent down next to you to rub your back before doing the same himself. You watched him with a faint smile and he raised his brow in question.

“Nothing,” you patted his back awkwardly. “We just make a good team.”

Mingi grinned at that, shaking his head. “You can wash up first. I’m going to make a quick scan and set the tent.”

After doing just that, the two of you sat in front of each other, staring at the pieces of wood you had collected, wondering if lighting the fire was a good idea right now. 

“I mean,” you muttered, “if we’re not going to cook… then a fire won’t be necessary, huh?”

“But it’s cold at night and I don’t want you to freeze to death,” Mingi sighed. “Can you imagine if that happened? History books would say, ‘Princess of Wonderland, smart enough to steal the documents from the Prince of Utopia but dumb enough to die of cold before reaching home-’”

“Oh, shut up,” you scoffed. “It’s not even that cold. And I’ll be using you as my body heater so I’ll be okay.”

“But I’ll be cold,” Mingi muttered and you realised this was about him. You chuckled lowly at that and he pouted. “I’ll just make do then.”

You shook your head, your hand unconsciously going to the breast pocket inside your cloak and Mingi noticed how you kept checking if the document was there every few minutes. “It’s not going to run away.”

“Won’t make me less anxious,” you told him. “I just… can’t believe we’re here right now. Like this. I never imagined, in my entire life, that I would have a price on my head and be in enemy territory as well.”

Mingi sighed. “I can understand that. This month has been the most unpredictable of my life as well. And not just because of this conflict.”

You smiled slowly at that. “I never imagined this too. I never thought I’d think of someone else, other than Dohyun, considering we were supposed to get married.”

“Do you regret it?” Mingi looked at you. You shook your head.

“Never. I have never felt so deeply in my life, Mingi. You’re the one for me. And when we get back… I will fight for you. I promise you that.”

“It’s dangerous,” Mingi shook his head and you could see how heartbroken he looked at the possibility that there was a chance everything about you two could go downhill from here. “You know Wonderland royalty is very sensitive about their status and class-”

“I’ve already broken so many rules, Mingi. I trained like a soldier when I was only supposed to sit and look pretty. I am charged with espionage as of now. I think after all this trouble, I can actually spend the rest of my life with someone I love, since I can’t marry Dohyun now, at least.”

Mingi laughed at that, hiding his face in his arms and your heart swelled at the sight. “What? You don’t want to be with me?”

“I’ve never wanted anything more,” Mingi said, not looking at you. “I just don’t want you to suffer because of me when we get back.”

“Well,” you got up and sat beside him, locking eyes with him. “What makes you think you don’t already make me suffer enough?”

“That’s my line,” Mingi was amused. “I should report you when we get back.”

“Oh?” You smirked, “What are you going to report me for? What crimes have I committed?”

“Theft,” Mingi said dramatically, “You stole my heart-”

“Oh, that’s the cheesiest thing I’ve heard in my life, Song Mingi,” you laughed out loud. “You really suck at flirting, you know that?”

“Do I?”

“I’ve been doing all the flirting in our long relationship, if you remember,” you winked at him and realisation flashed across Mingi’s eyes.

“So you intentionally said stuff like that, huh?”

Mingi was referring to the countless remarks you’d casually throw around at him during the past few years, that made him question if you were just bold or god forbid, flirting with him. He’d always dismiss it, because why would a Princess flirt with a guard and have actual intentions behind it?

“I don’t know if I’m lucky or very unlucky.”

You rested your head against his shoulder. “You’ll know when we get back home. Prepare to get promoted to a Prince soon, Mingi, because I’m having no one else now that I’ve had you.”

Mingi wondered how he, as a mere guard, had captured your heart. And he figured that even if you told him, he would still find it unbelievable. He’d always hold your face in his hands like he was now and stare into your eyes for the longest time as if all the answers he needed he could find there. And when your eyes would fall to his lips, he would always sigh and caress your face to make sure you were real before kissing you.

—-----------------

“Drop your weapons, soldier, or your Princess dies right here.”

Mingi’s heart sank to his knees but he kept aiming the arrow at the man who held a dagger at the neck of his beloved Princess. And a slight shake of your head told him not to do that, leaving him internally distraught as he tried to make a decision.

You had been so close to reaching the border, only a couple of miles away, when you heard the dreadful siren that some soldier, who had spotted you, blew. Mingi got rid of him instantly but it was too late by then, and to make matters worse, it was none other than Dohyun waiting for you at the border. 

Perhaps, he had allowed you to get here in the first place, some sort of a twisted sense of revenge to hold your life at the tip of his daggers while you could see the hills of your homeland. It was ironic but brilliant, really. You supposed he was justified to do so, considering you had stomped over his heart and all.

But you weren’t giving in so easily. It was only the two of you, but you fought. You loaded arrow after arrow, shooting everyone but the Prince- but perhaps you should have shot him first, despite the consequences, because now he was the one who was ready to take your life.

“Mingi,” you warned. “Don’t.”

But Mingi shook his head, wanting to drop the arrow so badly, not because of the amount of arrows aimed at him too, ready to shoot if he made one wrong move, but because he couldn’t bear to see you hurt. Not as a Princess. Not as his partner. 

“Think wisely,” Dohyun muttered in your ear and you hissed at how close he was. “You want your dear old guard to die first?” When you didn’t answer, he scoffed. “Thought so. Now give me the document.”

“Just tell me first,” you spat. “Was it all a lie? Was there really no chance for peace between our kingdoms, even after marriage?”

“You made it worse, just so you know,” Dohyun’s grip around your neck tightened. “I could have considered not taking any more land. But I’m not backing away now- not a chance. And you won’t have any proof to take back home when you’re dead.”

“Kill me then,” you scoffed. “And prepare for a war. You shed one drop of my blood here, and Wonderland will come for war- you know that.”

“We can always make it look like we’re the victim here, Princess,” he snickered and you realised that he could. “We could blame one of your guards. We could make it look like you were killed by your own people. I bet no one knows what you were really up to here, no? Nobody would suspect us, Princess. Now you-” Dohyun glared at Mingi. “Drop your weapon right now if you don’t want her to die this instant.”

Mingi kept aiming the arrow at the Prince’s head because he knew the two of you were doomed if he let his guard down now. The Prince wasn’t aware of your skills as a soldier yet, and since he thought he had the upper hand now, you two were at an advantage.

Especially because he had no idea you had met up with your remaining guards a day ago and asked them to keep trailing you, hidden, and wait for your signal if things went south. They were probably hidden in the trees with their weapons aimed right now. Dohyun had no idea you’d brought the deadliest assassins of your kingdom as your guards- to anyone else, they’d look and act like mere palace guards. 

Though there was still a chance that your guards had lost you and you two were on your own, you locked eyes with Mingi and a subtle nod from him told you that he would do whatever you asked him to. Your arms limp at your sides, you fiddled with your hands- which was really a signal to your guards if they were present to shoot as soon as they got the chance- the next signal you gave to Mingi, staring at where the scar on his neck was from the time he had saved you, hoping he’d get it.

And he did. And he could not bring himself to hurt you, but your hands trailed up to hold Dohyun’s arm that was holding you in place, pretending all of this was making you weak. Mingi exhaled, lowering his arrow from the Prince’s head and the scoff you heard from him made you scoff internally, because he was so going to regret this.

And Dohyun did- as soon as he saw Mingi stop lowering the arrow and aiming it at your neck, he had no time to react and Mingi shot the arrow, grazing your neck but making the arrow land in Dohyun’s chest and it all ended up in a frenzy with you flipping Dohyun on the ground and being the one to hold the dagger to his neck while your guards that were thankfully present shooting down everyone around Mingi, leaving only two who stood helpless at the sight of their Prince threatened.

“How does it feel on this side?” You asked Dohyun who was groaning in pain dramatically. “Oh, come on. You won’t die from this.”

“You’re going to regret this-”

“No, you are going to regret this, Prince,” you hissed back at him. “You’re going to regret taking advantage of our arrangement and even thinking you could use that to take over Wonderland. Wonderland is stronger than you can ever imagine, it would do you good to remember that.”

Mingi knocked the remaining guards unconscious and the two of you waited until your own guards came. The guards from the border arrived to see what the commotion was about, panicking when they saw their Prince threatened.

You made eye contact with each of the guards. “Your Prince will be delivered to you, unharmed any further, if you accompany us to the border. And don’t even think about trying anything- you can’t win now.”

With a nod from Dohyun, his guards decided to cooperate, and you insisted on being the one who held Dohyun all the way since his guards would think not twice but thrice before harming you as well. You borrowed their horses, promising to return them once you reached home, insisting you were not ‘used to taking what wasn’t yours’ and Dohyun grunted at that. Once your own guards stationed at the border spotted you, the exchange was done and you stepped inside your home ground, in front of a pale Dohyun.

“I’ll give you only one chance to set things right,” you warned Dohyun. “I can let everything go if you can stop any movement that threatens Wonderland. As you know,” you waved the document in your hand, “We have the upper hand now. If you dare make another wrong move, I’ll make this public. You know how quick the other kingdoms will be to ally with Wonderland when they learn how easily Utopia can violate peace treaties.”

“Alright,” he sighed. “You win. Give me a while before I send a message.”

“You have exactly one week,” you announced and then sighed. “I thought we could have parted on better terms, Dohyun. You brought this upon yourself. The relationship between our kingdoms can still be mended, but there is no chance for us now. And it will be better if you are the one to call our arrangement off.”

“You bet I will,” he scoffed. “Nice knowing you, Princess. I have to say it was quite an unpredictable adventure.”

You scoffed back. “Don’t take the arrow out until you have something to stop the bleeding.”

Dohyun smiled but looked confused when Mingi joined you and put an arm around you in the most casual way. You smiled knowingly and saluted Dohyun before turning away, Mingi helping you up on the horse and riding back. 

Mingi waited until Dohyun was out of sight before relaxing and you could feel his body relax since he was sitting behind you. You looked back at him, noticing him staring at the bleeding slash on your neck. “We match now.”

Mingi looked up and groaned, shaking his head. “I can’t believe this is the first thing you say to me after… all of that.”

“Come on,” you put your hands on his that held the reins. “We’re home now. We’re safe. Thank you for actually listening to me for once back there.”

“You have no idea how scared I was,” he admitted. “I’m still shaking- let’s take a breather at the first inn.”

You nodded and stopped at the first inn that arrived, thanking all of your guards sincerely first and promising to reward them as soon as you were back. After dinner at the very empty inn and a work with the innkeeper to stay quiet about this, you and Mingi went to the room to rest for the night.

“I have to say, the air really is different here,” you said as you dried your hair with a towel, standing in front of the half-open window. “Smells like home.”

Mingi, who had just entered after checking the perimeter with the guards and making sure they had good accommodations, nodded. “I’m less tense now, and I can’t believe how I was always on my toes in Utopia. It feels like I’m letting my guard down now.”

You laughed as you looked back outside. “I can relate to that. I was always on edge too.”

You felt Mingi walk to you and he took the towel, wrapping your hair in it while he waved a salve that he got from the innkeeper in front of you. “Let me.”

You nodded, and he applied it gently with his fingers, sighing again and again at the sight of the very angry red slash. It was definitely going to leave a scar. You rolled your eyes when you heard him sigh for the umpteenth time, turning and straightening his collar. “When are you going to stop feeling sorry? Because I made it clear that you acted upon my order.”

“It’s not because of that,” he shut the box and tossed it on the bed. “I just… when I think of how things could have gone so badly from there-”

“But they didn’t,” you rested your hands on his chest as you looked up at him. “And we’re here, you and I. Safe. So you can relax now.”

Mingi tucked your damp here behind your ear, tossing the towel away and letting your hair loose as well. He smiled before bringing you in for a hug and this time you sighed into it, realising that he was home. You would always feel at home and safe in his arms. You let him stay like that for a good few moments, let him kiss your forehead and then litter kisses all over your face as if he couldn’t believe you were here, with him.

“You’re tickling me,” you grinned when he trailed his lips down your temple. You felt him smile and he tilted your face to look at you, shaking his head and finally kissing you where you most wanted him, unrushed and lazy yet it was the first time your knees gave away and you desperately held onto him. He took you to bed, making you lay down and you let him kiss you until he got tired and buried his nose in the crook of your neck, dozing off instantly. You laughed to yourself, smacking his arm lightly and following him right after.

—-----------------

“That’s preposterous,” the King, your father, glared at you and you looked helplessly at your mother- the only person who could make your father see things differently. 

“I am aware that what I did was dangerous and wrong on many levels,” you met eyes with your father, “but it was necessary, you must understand that. All the better given I got us physical proof of their betrayal. That should also be a good enough reason to break off our arrangement.”

“It’s been more than a decade, and everyone is aware of the arrangement. You will be frowned upon if you break this off now. Especially if it’s him breaking it off right after your visit.”

“What do you expect her to do, darling?” Your mother sighed, putting a hand on her forehead. “She can’t exactly live in peace with him now.”

“Which is why I’m cross with her,” your father replied. “She should have sent someone else to do the stealing.”

“No one else would have succeeded,” you smiled inwardly, “and you know that.”

“Well,” your father groaned. “We’ll know in one week if you made the right decisions. I ought to ground you until then.”

You rolled your eyes. “It’s not like I even leave the palace or come out of my room often. If you wish to ground me, go ahead.”

Your mother smiled at that, urging you to take a seat. You had been standing all this time, ready to disappear if your father didn’t take the news well, but thankfully, it looked like he was okay for now. 

Except he was still glaring at you. “You look like you have something else to tell me.”

“I do, actually,” you met eyes with your parents. “But this is not the right time. So, tell me, how have things been while I was away?”

You spent the next few days mostly in the library, going through the history of Wonderland, searching for examples where a king, queen, prince or princess married someone who was not of their status. You found none, figuring that even if someone had (someone must have in the centuries of Wonderland’s existence) it would never be recorded in the books. It would be considered a ‘tarnish’ to the seemingly perfect history.

But was there a law that said you and Mingi could not be together?

So you spent the rest of the week going through the laws too. You asked around as casually as you could, you went through books, exerting yourself until you collapsed in the library and your maids had to carry you back. 

And that finally got Mingi, who had been avoiding you, to come visit you.

You smiled when you felt his hand snake through yours, recognizing him by his calloused and hard hands without opening your eyes. “I think I should do that more often. At least it got you to come see me.”

Mingi sighed. “You know how risky it is here. I have no reason to guard you here all the time so my presence would only make everyone suspicious. I’m risking so much being here with you like this too.”

“I know, I’m sorry,” you pouted and he pinched your cheek as he smiled. “But you haven’t even come to see me formally.”

“Everytime I look at you,” he nearly whispered, “I want nothing more than to hold you. I have to hold myself back for your sake.”

You were lost in the emotion in his eyes for a few moments before you pulled him, making him sit on the bed next to you and wrap his arms around you. He held you with a sigh, kissing the top of your head. You buried your nose in the crook of his neck, your arms around his neck as well. 

“If anyone comes without knocking, we’re dead.”

“No one would dare come without knocking,” you told him, kissing the scar on his neck, making his hold on you get tighter. “I missed you so much.”

Mingi swept your hair back, holding your face in his hands, staring at it for the longest time as if he was mesmerised. You licked your lips and it was his undoing as he basically crashed his lips on yours, kissing you desperately, with a pressure that had you craning back and back until you were lying flat on your bed. Your hands ran all over his toned chest, wanting to take off his clothes but the sane part in you told you that you were already risking too much. And perhaps, Mingi felt the same, opting to only push his hand under your clothes to hold you at your waist. Lack of breath made you break apart, only for him to trail his lips down your scar. 

“I’ve been asking around too, you know,” he said as he kissed your neck again. “I think you should talk to your mother first.”

“Really?” You frowned. “What did you hear?”

“I can’t say it out loud. If it’s false information, some people really need to answer why they’ve been spreading such stories. But if it’s true… I think she won’t be surprised.”

You understood what he meant, confused still because as far as you knew, your mother married your father at a young age, had your elder sister who was already married off and a queen of another kingdom, and had you. She’d always lived a recluse life. But could she be the one who would relate to you?

You got Mingi’s attention by tugging at his arm and the two of you sat in front of each other. “I’ve gone through the history- there’s nothing there. There’s nothing about a princess not marrying someone of royal blood in the law too. So what’s really stopping us?”

“I care about your reputation and how people will judge you if you become mine,” Mingi played with the hair that fell on your shoulder. “I care only about how people will speak of you.”

“And I care about none of that. Rather,” you smiled, “we could be the first ones to set an example. That the royals can, after all, marry for love, whoever that is.”

Mingi smiled at the notion. “I’m also worried about what comes next. By marrying you…”

“You’ll be Prince, and in future, the King,” you looked at him proudly, kissing him deeply before continuing. “There’s no one who could do a better job, and no one who deserves this more than you.”

Mingi kissed your forehead. “Let’s hope someone else believes that too.”

“But…” you bit your lips as you considered the other possibility. “If you don’t want to rule alongside me…”

“I won’t ask you to step down, because you are Wonderland’s only hope,” Mingi caressed your face. “Your sister should have been the one, but she believed she couldn’t bear the burden. But I know you can. And if I can share even some of it with you, if you can love me forever… I’ll be the happiest, even though I never imagined to be anything but a guard in my wildest dreams.”

You wiped your teary eyes, laughing along with him as your heart swelled at his words. “I do not deserve someone as good as you, Song Mingi.”

“I do not deserve someone as annoying as you, Princess, but here we are,” he sighed dramatically and you slapped his arm, gasping. 

“Well, you better be prepared to put up with it for the rest of your life,” you scoffed and he crossed his heart. 

—------------------

You never expected your mother to tell you a tragic tale of a forbidden love gone wrong when you told her that you had a man in your heart that wasn’t Dohyun.

She told you about the time after she had you, when you were 5, when her parents who were from Mist Island were sick with a life-threatening disease and she had gone to be with them in their perhaps last moments- her father survived but her mother passed away.

She told you about the young, handsome doctor who took care of your parents. She spoke with such love in her eyes that you were brought to tears. After speaking about it out loud for the first time, she was reliving through the memories.

“It was never my intention to be unfaithful to your father, who had done nothing but shower me with love and everything that I wanted. But perhaps, falling in love out of your own accord was something I hadn’t experienced with your father which led to the events in my parent’s home. We never went far- we were just friends. We would sit on the balcony and talk all night long. You know how much I was interested in medical sciences- he educated me, in a way. And somehow… I forgot that I was married and a mother of two when I was with him.”

“But…” you sniffed. “It’s not wrong to fall in love.”

“It wasn’t right either,” your mother sighed, brushing her dark long hair back, “I should have known that as a queen, there were eyes that followed me everywhere. I made the first move. I held his hand first. I hugged him first. I never got to kiss him.”

You were too scared to ask why and your mother nodded, confirming your suspicions. “My father found out. He warned me, but I took it lightly. So when he caught us sitting next to each other, he decided to send me back to Wonderland, even though it had only been days after my mother’s passing. As for the doctor… I believe he had someone take care of him- that’s what I was informed of, at least. I mourned two deaths when I came back, though the world only knows of one.”

You sat in a trance as the gravity of the situation settled in. Your grandfather had definitely reacted rashly. It wasn’t fair to the man whose only sin was to love your mother, and it wasn’t fair to your mother as well. Your mother put a hand over yours, though you wished you would have been the one to do that, in hopes to provide a sense of comfort to her. 

“It’s our secret,” she winked at you. “You’re the first soul I told. So will you trust your mother and confide in me? Perhaps I can help you make better decisions.”

So you told her everything, and she listened with a smile. You told her how you had feelings for Mingi from way back, but you never acted upon them- perhaps fearing they might not be reciprocated. You told her how you went to Utopia, intending to find out if Dohyun really was the man for you. 

“Perhaps I would have married him, if it weren’t for the political issue,” you smiled. “I would have dismissed my feelings for Mingi. But… deep down, I always knew I could never be truly satisfied with Dohyun, or anyone else for that matter. And Mingi… he’s always been so good to me. His heart is made of steel, and his feelings for me were buried there. I had to struggle so much to get him to look at me. And when he did… the intensity of it blew me away. I don’t think I can love anyone else, mother.”

“I understand,” she patted your cheek. “Dohyun has sent a message about your engagement. He called it off, like you told us he would. Your father is busy considering other suitors at the moment.”

“Do you think he’ll ever accept this? I’ve looked through history, through the law, there’s nothing that says we can’t be together except for stupid tradition and customs-”

“They are there for a reason,” your mother raised a brow, “but perhaps, we really do need to break some. They can be quite suffocating.”

You nodded. Your mother told you to lay low for a while and that she would slowly plant the seed in your father’s brain, see how he reacts and then proceed with you.

After a few weeks, you stood in front of your father who was partly angry but more surprised. You told him that if he wished that Wonderland be ruled by his blood, he better accept your proposal. Your parents burst out laughing at your bravery at that, but it took only a second for your father to be angry again. 

“Imagine if Dohyun never called off the engagement. Do you know how much you’ve risked Wonderland?”

“I saved Wonderland. Mingi saved Wonderland even when no one asked him to. What guard would have done that for me? It was love that made him risk everything with me, father.”

Your father scoffed, glaring at you. “Go to your room. Mingi is no longer your guard. I’ll have a little chat with him and see what should be done.”

“Father,” you sat down on your knees in front of him. “I beg you, do not harm him in any way. He saved me numerous times. It’s the least you can do for me, even if you won’t allow it- do not harm him.”

He considered for a moment before he grunted ‘fine’ and you scurried off to your room with a look at your mother who gave you a nod, indicating that she could handle it.

And perhaps she did, perhaps it was your father who had a change of heart (quite unexpected since you thought he’d throw you both in the dungeons) or perhaps it was Mingi himself who won his heart.

Mingi never told you what happened that night. He just told you that he’d always be indebted to your mother for helping him out and to your father for accepting him as his son-in-law.

The castle was in an uproar when they heard of your engagement, soon to be wedded to Mingi. The guards never expected that someone like Mingi won the Princess’ heart (to be fair, they only ever saw the stern side of Mingi). The maids wondered just how long this had gone on, finding it quite scandalous. But you?

You couldn’t be happier. 

As you slept with Mingi, your husband, you couldn’t be more loved and happier.

“Maybe you should stop staring at me and sleep. We’ve had enough of love making tonight.”

You slapped his chest. “I’m only thinking.”

“What?” He opened one eye, his thumb absently caressing the skin on your hips.

“How lucky I am to be here,” you kissed his cheek, lingering for a while.

“You’re making me want to go for a third round. I’m tired.”

“I thought you had more strength in you, considering you were a guard, but I guess you were wrong- ah!”

A surprised yelp left you as Mingi flipped you over and whispered things in your ears that made you go red and laugh as you tried pushing him off, but it looked like he did have the strength for a third round afterall.

CHAPTER TWO — UNWANTED HOUSEGUEST

lavender blood || park seonghwa

pairing: gn!reader x god of death!seonghwa

word count: 1,713

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@vemarkciraptor @girlsbyaespa @storminacloud @etrnalhwa @mingiholic @sugarrimajins @gemjimin @alanniys @teezers99 @bobrouxsky @miriamxsworld @woosmaid @actuallyalien @jackinmyarea @honey-lemon-goose @spicyduck13 @seonghwarizon

i am in no way claiming this to be an accurate representation of ateez/seonghwa or any of the other people i mention in my works—everything is strictly fictional and made to be read and enjoyed. they are merely reference characters. i am also in no way glamorizing or romanticizing anything i mention in my works such as toxic behavior and bodily harm, i won’t tolerate seeing such either. with such said, please don’t hesitate to leave your thoughts!

Keep reading

seni oilai

♔ pairing: servent! j.wy x queen! reader

♔ genre: smut, angst

♔ wc: 2.5k

♔ content: royalty au, sexual servitude, fingering, nipple play, penetration, lots of teasing, unsaid feelings, secret established relationship

♔ a/n: no read more tab because tumblr hates me :/

The bathroom ceiling was decorated with beautiful and intricate designs, all handpainted by the Royal family’s personal painter. You’ve been told that the painter had spent days lying on his back to make the scenery that currently overlooked your bathtub. The inspiration came from the first spring after the long, brutal, and deadly winter your Kingdom endured many years ago. Your eyes followed the swells of white clouds that stretched over the light blue paint and the flocks of birds that stretched their wings and embraced the rebirth of warmth and beauty. Of course, that was just what the painter pictured it to be. But to you, the painting was nothing but a cruel reminder of what you could never have. You stared up at this grand ceiling from your bathtub every night, growing sick from the constant reminder that you were stuck. You felt like a bird being held prisoner in its cage, forced to look at everyone else flap their wings and fly away from this godforsaken place.

After the untimely death of your parents, and there being no male heirs to the throne, the Court decided with great hesitation to pass the crown down to you. No one wanted a girl Queen. Just the thought of you as a ruler gave the Kingdom great anxiety. A girl Queen meant a vulnerable Kingdom, and no one was equipped to handle an invasion. Understanding this sentiment at such a young age, you made it your duty to prove everyone wrong. You wanted to show them that you were capable, if not more capable than your father, of being a leader. Even with your accomplishments at peace and prosperity during your years of reign, that sentiment remained unchanged. You learned that no matter what you did, no one would take you seriously as Queen. And with that, your efforts faltered and you went on autopilot.

There were whispers in the court about an unnamed Prince who was interested in her Royal Highness. The lone Prince was said to have been planning to propose to you and merge both Kingdoms under one rule. The Court took a likeness to the idea. You were bombarded by them, along with the Chief Minister to at least consider marrying him. There were too many reasons not to say no: More land, financial security, and of course, more respect and stability with a man by your side. It amazed you just how much they trusted and respected someone they barely knew all because he had a dick.

You sunk yourself lower into the bath, resting your achy neck on the edge of the tub. You were under a lot of stress tonight after the Chief Minister announced to you that he invited this bachelor for you to meet tomorrow. You were angry, of course, but you were used to him doing things behind your back like this. He was a good friend to your father and looked to advise you as best as he could. But sometimes, he made you feel like you had no say in anything you did. You were just the face of the Kingdom, a puppet for him to puppeteer. As much as you wanted to fight it, you knew that at the end of the day, he would get his way and you will have to walk down that aisle sooner or later.

Honestly, there was no reason to be bothered by this in the first place. Being Queen was a difficult task. To have someone else take the wheel would be a godsend, and could finally take some stress off your shoulders. So why were you so upset?

Your thoughts were interrupted as you heard the bathroom doors open and shut from behind you, followed by a hesitant few steps forward. You knew exactly who it was from his timid footsteps.

“You’re late.” You sighed in exasperation. Shutting your eyes, you sunk yourself even deeper into the water, sending some bubbles to splash out from the tub.

“I know. I apologize, Your Majesty.” After a beat of silence, Wooyoung walked over to the bathtub. Your eyes were still shut but you knew he was hovering over you now, most likely with a playful grin, with his hands tucked neatly behind his back as he obediently awaited his next order. However, when you fluttered your eyes open, you were met with the sight of your humble servant gazing down at you with a look of concern. It always amazed you just how beautiful he looked wearing any emotion- anger, sadness, contentment- it was worth more to look at than the eyesore that took over your bathroom ceiling. But of course, your favorite look on him was the look of lust. His half-lidded eyes, rosy cheeks, and parted lips while you sank down his length- that was a sight worth looking at.

“I won’t be needing you tonight. I’ll be retiring to my chambers soon. You should do the same.” You closed your eyes again and waited to hear his footsteps trail away. But he didn’t move.

“Is something the matter?” he asked.

You wished he’d just obey and leave you alone. When you two first started, it was supposed to be just a physical relationship. But now it was intimate in a way that you never intended. And you worried if maybe he was too emotionally attached to you. Or maybe it was you that was attached to him.

“Everything’s fine.” You prayed that was sufficient, but to your dismay, Wooyoung wasn’t satisfied and he took it upon himself to sit on the edge of the tub and quietly wait for you to tell him what was really wrong.

“Wooyoung,” you whined, “I’m just tired. That’s all.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“Are you calling your Queen a liar? I’m pretty sure that’s treason.”

Your quick-witted reply earned you a chuckle and you were relieved to see him soften his expression for once that night. “Fine. Don’t tell me.” Wooyoung dipped his hand into the warm bath water and traced his fingertips up your thigh. You bit back a moan as his hand inched closer to your bare heat. “But at least let me help you relieve some stress.”

Wooyoung rubbed your inner thigh and waited for you to part your legs. Hesitating at first, you eventually obliged and spread yourself open for him. He made an experimental swipe over your slit which already had you rolling your eyes back. He spread your lips apart, pouting when he saw your aching clit.

“You spend all day taking care of this Kingdom, but who takes care of you?” He poked. It drove you mad when he spoke to you like this, a soft and barely audible whisper like he didn’t want to talk over your moans. After massaging over your clit, he slid his fingers down to your entrance and pushed two fingers inside of you, smiling to himself as he watched you struggle to hold in your gasps.

“Wooyoung!” You gripped his forearm tightly as he pumped his digits in and out of you. His pace was unforgiving and you tried desperately to hold on and control his movements. But Wooyoung was pissed and there was no way to tame him when he was like this. He didn’t like when you kept things from him. He knew you were hiding something and he doesn’t particularly like being out of the loop.

“Shh..” he cooed, “just relax and let me take care of you.”

He began curling his fingers inside of you, and this time you weren’t able to hold in your moans. You were usually good at keeping quiet, afraid of nosy servants hearing what you were up to and spreading rumors that you took a lowborn as a lover. But Wooyoung thought if he couldn’t get you to talk about what’s bothering you, then he deserved to hear your loud and delicious moans as a replacement.

“Too fast…gonna cum” you squealed, sending more water out from the bathtub as you jolted your hips up and down.

“Already?” He grinned. “I barely even started.”

You opened your mouth to tell him to stop teasing, but the feeling of his thumb pressing over your needy clit took the words right out of your mouth. One hand gripped the bathtub, while the other was still holding onto his chiseled arm. Heat pooled in your lower stomach and Wooyoung could tell that it would only take another couple of pumps before you came undone for him. As much as you loved his skilled fingers swirling over your clit, you didn’t want to finish so quickly and go back to another night of sleepless worry. You grabbed onto his hand to stop him from going any further.

“Not like this” you breathed. Wooyoung smirked, his fingers still deep inside of you.

“No? Then how would you like me, My Queen?”

“You know your place.” You pulled your legs up to your chest, hinting at him to get in with you. Nothing else was said as he quickly unclothed himself before slipping into the bath. Before you could climb over him, you took some time to admire how heavenly he looked right now: Wet hair slicked back with a few strands kissing at his forehead, and the way his collarbones glistened from being in the bubbly water. Wooyoung was second to none, incomparable to even the richest of Kings. You never admitted it to him, but sometimes you imagined him in a crown sitting beside you on the throne. Anyone who saw him wouldn’t second guess that he belonged up there with you.

You straddled over him now, taking him into your hands to help him get ready for you. He kissed down your neck before making home on your breast, rubbing his lips gently over your nipples. They were more sensitive and raised now from being in the water for so long, and Wooyoung took advantage of that. He took your bud into his mouth as you stroked his stiff cock, the vibrations from his moans sending goosebumps all over your skin.

Wooyoung took his cock from you and lined himself up with your core. You let out a string of low and shaky moans, waiting for the moment that he’d finally enter and fuck all the useless thoughts out of your head. But Wooyoung had no intention of giving you what you wanted. Instead, he rubbed his tip along your slit in an agonizingly slow tempo, carefully brushing over your clit as he did so.

“Woo…please, can’t wait any longer.”

He looked up at you with hazy eyes, waiting for you to make eye contact with him. But you couldn’t get yourself to look him in the eye. “First tell me what’s on your mind.”He demanded.

You sighed, unhappy when you understood that he wasn’t going to give you what you wanted unless you confessed. But the truth was, you yourself weren’t sure what was bothering you. You just knew that you wanted to see him tonight and have him close. Part of you worried it would be the last time.

“I don’t know what you mean.”

He sprayed your chest with soft kisses, speaking into your skin in a low voice. “Don’t play dumb. I’ve known you long enough to know when something’s wrong.” He was circling his tip over your clit now. He knew it drove you crazy, all this stimulation when all you wanted was to feel full from his cock.

“Wooyoung.” You hated begging. You hated that he wouldn’t give you what you wanted, but you were too under his spell to do anything about it other than whine pathetically as he toyed with you like this.

Wooyoung only hummed in response, lips still nipping at your sore breasts. At first, you thought he finally gave up when you felt him push his tip into your entrance. You held onto his shoulders and anticipated the stretch but the anticipation soon turned to frustration once he pulled out, leaving you feeling empty again.

Defeated, your face fell to the crook of his neck and you groaned in annoyance. “I should just have you beheaded.”

He chuckled into your ear. “Then who’ll make you cum?”

Wooyoung continued on with his game, pushing just the tip into you before pulling himself back out. So many thoughts raced over your head, some making sense, some not, but one thing was for sure and that was that you couldn’t bare to go on like this anymore.

“It’s you!” You admitted. “You’re always on my mind and I’m so tired of it! I hate you for making me feel this way, if I could go back in time I would stop myself from ever getting involved with you! Now will you just shut up and obey me for once?!”

Wooyoung was utterly dumbfounded. Although he understood that the true nature of your relationship was purely sexual servitude, he couldn’t deny that he’d often wondered if you, like him, felt something more. After thinking it over, he understood your frustrations. He had heard the rumors about the proposal. He tried not to take it personally. He knew where he stood in this relationship. Being a Royal was stressful as it was, and it was his job to offer some much needed stress relief to the Queen. Even so, he couldn’t help but feel a little depressed after hearing of your coming marriage.

Now that he knew your true feelings, Wooyoung thought about asking you to run away with him and finally free yourselves from this cage. But he also knew where your loyalties lie, and they were tightly knotted within this Kingdom. He wished you knew that his loyalties laid with you. If he told you, would it make a difference? He wondered.

He had so much he wanted to say. But he knew in the end that nothing could be done in your situation. In an effort to make things easier, he decided to finally do as he was asked and help you forget about your troubles- as well as his. Giving you that boyish smirk of his, he lined himself up with your core once again.

“As you wish, Your Majesty.”

With your slit covered in anticipation, and with the bath water around you, he slipped into you with ease. Both of you moaned once he bottomed out. You stayed still, connecting your lips with his, sharing the same hunger he had for you with him. His hands fell to your hips and he guided you over his shaft. The pace was slow but perfect. You didn’t want to finish so quickly, wishing to savor every bit of him for as long as you could. But all the moaning, kissing, touching, as well as having your bud being rubbed against his abs every time you came up and down his length made it impossible to stall your release.

When you were both done you remained as you were in the bathtub with your head laying against his chest whine he traced his fingers up and down your spine. He let you play with his other fingers as you both came down from your highs. You thought his fingers were still pretty even though they were all pruny from the extended time in the water. “In another life, I would’ve.” You broke the silence. You said it so quietly that you worried if he heard you or not. You didn’t think you had it in you to say it again.

Wooyoung sighed, taking a break from tracing your back to just stay still and hold you. He wondered what awful thing he did in his past life to be born as a servant. But there was nothing either of you could do about it now, other than to enjoy the night before you two went back to being strangers in the morning.

“In another life.” He agreed.

🎧 seni oilai- ALPHA

CHAPTER ONE — DEATH WISH

lavender blood || park seonghwa

pairing: gn!reader x god of death!seonghwa

word count: 1,144

a/n: i appreciate all the love even before this fic had officially started! nothing goes unappreciated and it all means the world to me! i hope i can reach your expectations even just slightly! feedback is welcomed and appreciated, even thoughts/conspiracies on what you think is going to happen! everything i write is there for a reason and everything is chosen carefully! every scene holds a lot more meaning even its later on — with that being said, enjoy reading!! x

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taglist ( ask to be + or - )

@vemarkciraptor @storminacloud @etrnalhwa @mingiholic @sugarrimajins @gemjimin @alanniys @teezers99 @bobrouxsky @miriamxsworld @girlsbyaespa

i am in no way claiming this to be an accurate representation of ateez/seonghwa or any of the other people i mention in my works—everything is strictly fictional and made to be read and enjoyed. they are merely reference characters. i am also in no way glamorizing or romanticizing anything i mention in my works such as toxic behavior and bodily harm, i won’t tolerate seeing such either. with such said, please don’t hesitate to leave your thoughts!

Keep reading