Remind Me Why We're Trying To Get Hifumi To Love Us, Again? (a Crackfic That's Going Too Far)

Remind Me Why We're Trying to Get Hifumi to Love Us, Again? (a crackfic that's going too far)

Chapter Four: Leiko Kuba

@chibibreeby

"Oh, Sayaka~! Where are you?", Leon called down the halls. This was his creation, after all, and he knew that this competition would spread through the school like a germ, but as of now, he was against Kiyotaka and Mondo, who were totally worthy adversaries. After all, Kiyotaka was already curvy (not that Leon was looking or anything) and Mondo would obviously have a sizeable bust (not that he was looking at that either), so he needed a secret weapon of he was going to have a chance.

"Sayaka~!". The pop idol groaned aloud, before telling Ibuki, Aoi, and Sakura that she needed to leave from their meal. Annoyed, she looked through the halls for the all-star, catching him before he entered the elevator. "Leon, what the heck? I was enjoying a nice meal with my friends . Is there any logical reason you're shouting my name down the hall?!". The fakeginger smirked. "Sayaka! I know you're still mad about that one time I broke your nose-". "By the way, the trial's in two weeks.". "-during athletics, but let's put that behind us for now!".

Sayaka rolled her eyes and pointed to her bandaged nose. "Ask someone else to help you with your sorry life.". "Okay, okay, you seem a little hostile, that's fine. But would you be willing to help a friend of mine? She really needs it!", Leon pleaded. The blue-haired girl sighed out of frustration, "Fine. Who is she, and what does she need help with?". Leon put his arm around Sayaka's shoulder. "So this chick's name is Leiko Kuba. She's having relationship problems. There's a guy she likes but she's not sure how to steal his heart.". Sayaka tapped her chin. "A common problem. When can I meet her?". Leon then pointed at himself. "You already know her!".

"Wait, what?", the idol questioned. "I've created this competition, the Ultimate Man's Competition. The task is simple, get Hifumi Yamada to fall in love with their female alter ego.", the baseball player explained. "And you want my help?", Sayaka asked rhetorically. "So, by agreeing, I'm allowed to do whatever to you make you Leiko Kuba, but also help out Leiko as if she was a bestie. All for the purpose of showing how MANLY you are? Leon, that's the best thing you thought of?".

Before Leon could reply, Sayaka continued, "This is better than any money I could have sued you for! Oh, you don't know how close Leiko and I will be! Spa treatments, sleepovers, brunch, oh, we'll do everything! This is what I call 'helpful revenge'. I'll help Leiko win Hifumi, all the while getting revenge for you breaking my nose!". Leon scratched the back of his head, "I'm fine with that. I mean, you're only the second broken nose this year.". "Oh yeah. How much detention did you get for Headmaster Kirigiri's nose, by the way?".

"Just enough to think of this.". Sayaka shook her head, "Whatever! I'll call my agent and tell him to scrap the court date. You and I, or rather, Leiko and I, are going to be the BEST BESTIES!".

Let's get this party started.

Two O.C.'s and a ship or two. Drawn fairly well, I hope.

(1st character is Phona Graffe, which isn't finished. 2nd is Chill E. Freeze, a boss. Read more on her here: https://anonymous-hopeful.tumblr.com/post/168367064353/the-soul-society-chapter-one-snow-melts-with )

Reposting with credit is encouraged!

Remind Me Why We're Trying to Get Hifumi to Love Us, Again? (a crackfic that's going too far)

Chapter One: The Ultimate Man's Competition

@chibibreeby 

It was another day at Hope's Peak. Well, afternoon, really. While other students were participating in club activities or hanging out with friends, Kiyotaka Ishimaru was watching over several students in detention. Some students, like Makoto Naegi, were only in for thirty minutes due to minor offenses, while others had an hour or so. By the time Teruteru had finished dinner, Kiyotaka was still on the detention room, watching over the two remaining students, Mondo and Leon.

Mondo groaned; he hadn't done anything detention worthy that day, or even that week. In fact, he was going to prove to the hall monitor that he could stay out of trouble, however, that backfired when he found out that he had piled up on enough minor offenses to keep him in detention for three hours.

Leon, on the other hand, was actually trying to stack up his detentions and serve them all in one day. Like Mondo, there were an abundance of minor offenses, added on to that one time he threw Yasuhiro's crystal ball down the hallway and had accidentally hit Headmaster Kirigiri. In all honesty, he didn't mind the detention as much when it was just him, Mondo, and Kiyotaka. Actually, that gave him an idea.

"Hey, Kiyotaka, come over here!", the all-star called out, catching the attention of both the prefect and the biker. "Why? This is not one of your foolish 'pranks', is it?", Kiyotaka questioned. Leon shook his head, "No, no, not at all, just come over.". Sighing, Kiyotaka made his way over to Leon's desk. "Now then, what is the reason you called me over?", the moral compass asked, crossing his arms and staring down at Leon.

"Well, I think it's safe to say that the three of us are pretty manly, huh?", Leon inquired, all too calm. "Fuck, yeah. What's that got ta do wit' anything?", Mondo wondered, whilst making his way to Leon and Kiyotaka. " We're all manly by our standards, but who's truly the manliest out of us?".

Kiyotaka laughed boisterously. "Is that a rhetorical question? It is obvious that I am the manliest of us three, after all, at this moment I am in charge of you, not only showing my authority, but dominance as well!". Mondo rolled his eyes, "Don't credit yerself like that. Yeah, you're in charge, for th' next twenty minutes, but I'm runnin' an entire biker gang! If anyone here's manly, it's me.". Leon smirked, "See? It would be pointless to argue that I'm manlier, because you two have proven my point. Therefore, in order to settle this...dispute, I think a competition is in order.".

"Competition? Please elaborate!", Kiyotaka replied. "With every man's competition, it's the same; who can lift that, who's able to eat this, normal men's things.". "What are ya plannin', Leon?", Mondo asked, a bit nervous. Leon stood up and made his way to the front of the room. "I'm planning a competiton that only a real man would have the audacity to compete in! One that tests a man physically, mentally, and emotionally.". Leon grabbed a piece of chalk and began writing on the board. "Introducing, the Ultimate Man's Competition!".

Mondo and Kiyotaka stared at each other, then at Leon. "Allow me to explain. Each participant must, one, be a male, and two, be a student here. The task?". Leon paused to finish drawing what looked like a four-year-old's portrait of Hifumi. "Make this guy fall in love with you!". The prefect and the gang leader cringed. "Uh, Leon, I think I speak fer both Taka an' I when I say, the fuck are ya thinkin?".

Leon chuckled, "Not up to the challenge? I guess that means I wi-". "No ya don't! I jus', uh, wanted ta know th' rules.", Mondo interrupted. "Alright. Any male is allowed to compete, except Chihiro, since he does this on a daily basis, and of course, Hifumi for obvious reasons . Each male is required to have one wingwoman, and once one is claimed, she can't work for anyone else. As for the task itself, you won't be going out with Hifumi yourself, rather you'd go as your female self".

Kiyotaka shifted his eyes. "Are you proposing we do drag?". Leon scratched his goatee. "One reason we've got a wingwoman. Any other questions?". "Does Hiro count as a wingwoman?", Mondo inquired. Leon thought for a moment. "Sure, why not. By the way, your lady self should have her own name, first and last, and the absolute, number one rule, is don't let Hifumi know. Got it?". Kiyotaka and Mondo gave a nod of confirmation.

"Alrighty then, gentlemen. Let the competition begin!".

For those of you interested in my image, this is one of my Cuphead O.C's. His name is Bob Goblet.

Cuphead Zodiac

Because I haven't seen one before

Aries: Cuphead

Taurus: Hilda Berg

Gemini: Beppi

Cancer: The Devil

Leo: Sally Stageplay

Virgo: Dr. Kahl (and his robot)

Libra: Blind Specter

Scorpio: Werner Werman

Sagittarius: Cala Maria

Capricorn: King Dice

Aquarius: Cagney Carnation

Pisces: Mugman