Listen, I Dont How To Explain It But

listen, i dont how to explain it but—

florida man!nico/accidental criminal!will AU

i may or may not want the image of Nico getting in the headline like, italian man threatens to "kill them with kindness" and then almost kill a person with a sword name "kindness" or Will somehow broke a dude's leg and terrorized a bakery with his free tacos

tree house by alex g has that Solangelo vibe im calling it

Alright guys i finished it and i shit you not they—"gunshots"

i am dying shiting crying fucking dying crying again MOTHER F F FVSGIAWJAHANN NOOOOOOO WHYYYY

imma reread it

and ruin my life even MORE

GUYS AHSJSKAJ—SONG OF ACHILLES JUST ARRIVED AT MY HOUSE OH SH OH HALLEY DUCHES OMGOMGOMG—I AM SO GOING TO DIE I DO NOT READY FOR ANGSTY DEAD BF OH SH OH F F F F OH PENNSYLVANIA'S CHICK CHUCK DICKINSON' MF LIL CHIPOTLE—

some chaotic Solangelo headcanons im thriving

Will "hi" and Nico "greeting" when encountering monsters

"is this coffee?", "no, Will. that's tea", "oh", "wtf are you guys talking abt thats clearly milk???"

Will menacingly stands outside of Nico's cabin, trying to ask for a date at 2:00PM

they exchange the most cheesiest letters for each other on random days and it's usually Nico's heart-felt, romantic, hit with the feels "i love you to death" and Will's short, wholesome, what is this language "you're my little pogchamp". on days, both of them read it, and on days, they are fucking done. they can never talk to each other for weeks without cringing crying yelling and dying

Nico doesn’t swear. He's the "language"-ing guy. Especially to Will

"oh sh—", "language", "—sh-shard-borne dingus! i breaky my fingy!"

Will curses a lot but with Nico he just switches it with Shakespearian insults, "Will you're a bitch", "hey! how dare you—", "oh no Nico! it's ok—", "fuck you too Nico!", "now listen here, you ubiquitous cloven-hoved special little chucklefucker, you are a, excuse me Nico, a nostalgic milk-livered wanger who would fuck maggots with his onion-eyed boner, how dare you rat bastard says those words to my loveliest significant other!", "oh that's definitely not gonna get a language from me, you go and drop those bars babe" , "WHAT THE ACTUAL FUC—???"

Nico beating up Ares kids with his bare hands and they love him for it

Will treating Ares kids like, everyday (mainly because of Nico) and they love him for it

Nico talks a lot, about things, he would go full on presentations to Will about, extremely stupid stuffs like, how cats don't eat shoes and are better than dogs but dogs give you cuddles and laugh in barks so i am conflicted and now you have to be in this crisis with me, tesoro

Nico gives Will head pats and kisses

Will gives Nico hugs and embarrassments (and kisses)

they wear each other's pajamas and enjoy their friends and siblings's horrifying faces at 6:30 in the morning

*body slamming the door* "you two ARE having the papapa!", "really Will? why didnt you tell me? i could have put down my ugly stuffed blobfish plush"

They are both needy at ungodly hours

Will is whiny when he wants affection "Nicoooooooooo..."

then there's Nico when in need of literally any kinds of comfort just, cling, onto Will's body for the rest of the day, whoever try to remove him will get their hands bit off

there are days where they put stickers on each other faces and arms and hair and be fabulous

Nico makes GODS-TIER coffees and Will could die for them

Will "sorry" and Nico "apologies/forgive me" when fighting monsters

but actually Will gives them the finger and destroys them with one of his martial-art chokes

they will both scream, at the top of their lungs, when watching scary and horror movies

that's gonna be my headcanons, they are both shit at jump-scares and gory movies. they have to hug each other and cuddle for hours with two enormous blankets and often hide in Will's bed and watch a list of Disney series marathons after one "The Conjuring"

but they still love horror movies

dudes literally gone through wars and somehow get scared by a possessed doll

Nico lowkey adores Will's dad puns

"aight, what do you call a baby ghost?", "Will, please no—", "a little boo", "*snorts* g-gods darnit..."

Nico's his little boo

(fuck why did i do that—)

when Nico's sad, he will look up to Will and his boyfriend will smile, brightly, "hi there, wookie" and Nico will chuckle, saying "hey there, cara mio" and they will hold hand, with Nico trying his hardest not to imitate Will's sweetest giggles

their relationship is at the peak where Will says something and Nico gasps at him, then continues with the "is that a Star War reference?"

it is also at the peak where someone mocks Will with, "an apple a day keep the doctor away" and Nico calmly counters with, "only if you aim it well enough" and throw an apple at that person then broke their nose

. Kayla, dramatically points to Austin: Why did the mattress...

. Austin, dramatically points to Nico:...Go to the doctor?

. Nico, sighs, "dramatically" points to the sun:...why?

. Apollo, dramatically appears, points to the ground: Because!

. Will, dramatically slides in, biting his lips: It had spring fever

. Nico:

Then the Apollo cabin cheer and fetch out their instruments, attempt to do a whole orchestra passionately

i listened to a Nico di Angelo playlist on Spotify yesterday and was very impressed abt how it progressed from start to bottom. like the playlist has pop rocks, sad, touches your soul, hozier kinds at first and it slowly changed to the piano type, also sad but more gentle, less rock less devastated and you literally know he is happy, if not, healing, loved, he's in love, how he met his sunshine, and how he would break anyone apart if they hurt his bf. he's starting to adapt, starting to vibe along with the song and it's very creative, very nice, enjoyable to listen to. it kept me awake for studies and stuff

p.s: whoever created this playlist, you're amazing and deserve everything in the world.

p.ss: and yes, you too, whoever made this playlist. i want to ask WHY—did you think, putting You Are My Sunshine and Jet te laisserai des mots by Patrick Watson, was a good fucking idea?

p.sss: sleep with one eye open, my dog will eat all of your eggs tonight

pre-Solangelo headcanons i dreamed last night because i am a sad person

they hang out a lot, even couples didn't do that as much as them (and they're not dating how?)

after three-day infirmary, people thought they do wholesome things together but in reality, they are awkward as heck and try their hardest to communicate with each other

whether it's Will's shy ass "hi", "h-h-how are you", "yo-you look great to...day" or Nico's affectionate "perish", "do not attempt to speak to me"

they go to the arcade ONE time and never come back (mainly because of Nico)

Nico is chill, but he eats arcade games for a living. tetris? street fighter? donkey kong? fricking PAC-MAN? oh they are going down

for reasons, Nico is very competitive and toxic when old school arcade stuffs involved and Will finds it hot and scary

when Nico's sleepy he will speak in Will's Texas accent

when Will's high he will speak Italian

Nico usually goes to the infirmary to randomly massage Will's shoulders and hands and anywhere possible and tells him to take a break with him

Will's addicted to it, this is where he gets high

Will has protective siblings. someone being slightly mean to him and they will riot. but it's Nico so they gaze in gentleness as he bride-carries Will out of the infirmary

Will is taller than Nico for a whole head, so it looks like he's carrying a long sandwich (sandwill wheeze)

Nico has protective sisters (Reyna and Hazel), if they see someone makes funny eyes at him, they will make that person's buttcrack beg for Tartarus. but with Will, the guy who is tripping on his own legs, poorly maintaining eyes contact without immediately shutting it and going "fuck it" then die—sleeping on the ground, holding a cup of coffee like it's his life savior and went "yeah that's him. that's the guy who will make our brother the happiest"

Nico is weak for Will's dad jokes (even before dating, dude's down bad) he straight up gasps for air and cries

"why were...", "oh gods no—", "...the utensils stuck together?", "*snorts* n-nO NO STOP—", "because they were spooning", "*wheezes and dies*"

"ugh", "ugh indeed"

they talk little when around people and talk so much when it's just the two of them

like, if there are books about their relationship developments, it will be mainly about their dumb conversations and late night talks, and by books, i'm talking dictionaries here

"Will, do you have water?", "no but i have this hand sanitizer"

Will is a brave guy, when he sees Nico furiously walks towards him, he will stand up and start running

Nico catches him anyway and lectures him about drinking Cappuccino at dawn and making pizzas with a rice cooker

Nico loves Will more when the guy's sleep deprived

"oh but thats kinda sad, because mr.tomato looks exactly like mrs.apple, we couldn't blame sir cucumber for having an affair with both. the guy's green he's color blind", "ah yes do continue"

Will always sneaks into Nico's cabin late at night to talk to him

Nico doesn't sleep he waits for Will every nights

they are both sad and in love, i don't take criticism

homies be spooning each other in the middle of the night and talk about how feet are cold without socks and socks are lonely without feet so in conclusion they are soulmates confirmed

"do you want a hug?", "no", proceed to hug Will

"do you want to sleep on my shoulder?", "no", proceed to sleep on Will's shoulder

"do you want to go to a convenience store at 3:00AM with me?", "no", proceed to go to a convenience store at 3:00AM with Will

"do you want to hold hands and talk about our days?", "no" proceed to hold hands and talk about their days

they did do wholesome things with each other

Nico: pets are overrated, i don't need pets

Will: *gasps*

Nico: let me explain

Will: gosh you better be

Nico: why pets, when you can have...a human

Will: *incredulously* i am uncomfortable with how this conversation is taking us

Nico: look, i don't get why i need pets when i can have this cuddly, talkative, convenient piece of human, who can feed themself, give random facts about toothpastes, make weird jokes, consume unholy amount of coffees at every minutes possible and do nice physical contacts that do not leave furs and bad smells over my body

Will: do i need to question that specific piece of human?

Nico: no, but you get the gig

Will: right...you are just sad

Will:...and want to be in a relationship

Nico: indeed. so—let's get pets and be less sad and have a relationship

Nico: me and you *wink*

Will: it's...4:00AM calm your horny ass