Thinking About How My Mom Tried Toseduce My Dad When They Were In College Together By Sneaking Oranges

Thinking about how my mom tried to “seduce” my dad when they were in college together by sneaking oranges into his backpack, because she grew up food insecure and feeding someone/sharing food was a big deal with her upbringing with a lot of emotional meaning–

and meanwhile my poor dad is just convinced that he’s been haunted by some citrus poltergeist because why the fuck are there always oranges in his bag he swears he did not put there???

Using the Genshin Boys’ Laps as a Pillow

Fandom: Genshin Impact

Characters: Thoma, Itto, Kaeya, Xiao, Zhongli x gn!Reader

Type/Genre: Bulleted headcanons, fluff, comedic

Warnings: Lightly suggestive, not proofread

Thoma

Thought you were joking when you said you were going to use his lap as a pillow, but humours you anyways

Pats his thighs, beckoning you to lay down. He’ll help you adjust your position, making sure your neck isn’t strained.

Brushes his fingers through your hair, running through any knots or tangles with the utmost care

His hands are warm thanks to his pyro vision. You grab onto one of them, holding it against your face. Thoma cups your cheek with his hand, letting you know that it’s okay if you fall asleep, he’ll watch over you.

Lo and behold, you actually do fall asleep

Realizes you’re in the perfect position for him to clean your ears. Slowly, gently, he moves your head from his lap to a pillow made from his crop top jacket so he can go get the bamboo earpick.

You wake up with a start when you feel something inserted into your ear

“Sorry, I woke you up, didn’t I? Go back to sleep, buttercup.”

Itto

This man has so much surface area on his thighs they’re practically begging for you to lay your head there

Puzzled about what you’re doing at first. Cocks his head to the side as he looks at you questioningly through crimson eyes. You can practically see the gears turning in his head

Flex his thigh so your head moves around. You smack the side of his leg, whining for him to let you sleep in peace.

Slowly flexes his thigh muscles before relaxing all of a sudden, causing your head to suddenly drop back onto his lap

Laughs at the way you yelp in surprise, but the laughter turns to protest when you get up to leave

Promises not to do it again

It’s so tempting to though, but he resists the urge. You can feel the way he’ll slightly shift, as if about to annoy you again, but eventually decides against it

“Just one more time, okay? I’m going to do it again—I kid, I kid, lay back down.”

Kaeya

Just chilling on the couch when you join him. He expects you to lean against his shoulder like you usually do, but this time you plop your head down onto his lap

Raises an eyebrow, a shit-eating grin spreading on his face.

Asks if you’re suggesting something earning himself a hearty slap on the chest

Chuckles lightly as you get yourself comfortable, saying this was nice and you should do this more often

Runs his thumb across the side of your neck

Right when you’re drifting off, this lil shit will start jiggling his legs, shaking you awake

Laughs as you grumble, pushing yourself up to a sitting position and glaring at him

As you get up to leave, Kaeya pulls you in by your waist, sitting you back on his lap

“Now, where do you think you’re going, baby?”

Xiao

The two of you were outside, finding shade from the afternoon sun under a tree and resting on the soft grass

Xiao was leaning back against the trunk, arms crossed when you pat his thighs

He opens his mouth to question you on what you’re doing, but the moment you lay your head in his lap all words fail him

It’s comfortable, and he doesn’t want you to move, so he decides to stay silent

You were only going to lay in his lap for a few minutes—at least, that’s what you told yourself

The dream-eating yaksha makes for a surprisingly comfortable pillow, and you end up falling asleep

You look ethereal as you sleep, softly snoring

Xiao loves how peaceful you look, his usual hard expression melting away into quiet adoration

It’s for this reason he can’t bring himself to wake you

You end up actually sleeping for hours lol

“My legs are fine. I’m happy…happy that you felt safe with me.”

Zhongli

He was just giving a lecture talking when, out of nowhere, you lay down on him, plopping your head on his lap

You don’t explain what you’re doing, just looking up at him, waiting for him to keep talking

It takes Zhongli a moment to process what you’re doing. He pauses, his mouth agape, before clearing his throat and continuing on with his story

Only asks you what you’re doing when you start poking and pinching his thighs

A light blush dusts his cheek when you tell him how comfy they are.

Puts his hand on your head to stop you from squishing your face against his thighs. pls you’re flustering the poor man

Continues on with his lecture, but it’s hard to stay focused when you keep tapping and prodding at his thighs

“…Dear, are my legs really that much more interesting than the history of osmanthus wine?”

I am a(n):

⚪ Male

⚪ Female

🔘 Writer

Looking for

⚪ Boyfriend

⚪ Girlfriend

🔘 An incredibly specific word that I can't remember

Prompt #3062

“My prologue will not be your epilogue,” the brand new hero snapped, dragging the villain back to their feet.

“Damn…did you practice that line or did it just come out naturally?”

“Naturally.”

“Damn,” they repeated. “You’re going to be one hell of a hero.”

i think we should let viruses battle to the death in those little pipe dishes. the circle pietey dishes. you know? the pilate dishes round and clear. perty dish. yeah those

sometimes u go on google searching for a reference image and you just find something that is totally not what you are looking for but is better than anything u could have ever dreamed

who is she

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