Idk If Yall Ever Read Svsss But If U Did Yeah

idk if yall ever read svsss but if u did… yeah

anyway, stephanie meyer’s number 1 hater gets isekaied into twilight as jacob black and decides to make sure bella and edward get together. if u guys read svsss…. u know what happens

episode 1

The public has requested fic recs for the hyper specific "dark mafia no kill rule reversal Jason comes back to the family angst but still there's love" trope, aka Jason Todd's platonic found family version of a dark romance, and so they shall receive: the five fics I've found on the matter, which I recommend especially if you enjoy protective batfam, angst and misunderstandings.

We happy few by sunsational96, it's really good writing if you're not afraid of stuff getting dark, unfortunately it has only two chapters yet but I hope it gets updated because it's so promising (only point I dislike is Jason being a cop but also given his family, I get it.) Tim is unhinged in it.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/42523731/chapters/106806804

The Safe Inside series by Dalee, the first work of which is "The Sun will Rise", which is complete and a satisfying conclusion to the story in itself.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/25397782

Unrefusable Offer by Envisparkler, it's finished! Honestly I could have done with a third chapter because it's kinda angsty but it's really fun too, somebody give poor Jay a hug he's traumatized.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/52124098/chapters/131834677

Choke by Chemically_Imbalanced, VERY similar to Unrefusable Offer (though idk which came first) so if you love reading different takes on the same idea and enjoyed one, I definitely recommend the other- also a real fun read, and it has the advantage of not being finished yet, so we might get more than just the two chapters, even if they're already fun on their own!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/56516731/chapters/143631982

You liked Unrefusable Offer's take on dark!Dick and wish there was a short fic with his POV? Don't worry, here's sElkieNight60's extra add-on for that fic: Damned to Perdition. It's tasty, y'all.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/53521066

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Y’all wanna know what I’m thinking about recently?

✨Socialite Tim✨

And I don’t mean like ‘Public mask to cover vigilantism’ I mean like really actually, ‘raised by his parents to be the high society gentleman they wanted him to be’ kind of Socialite!Tim.

And because I haven’t seen anything that will satiate this hunger, I have taken it upon myself.. to write:

—

Stephanie stares at their target from across the room. The slender, dark haired man was easy to lose in the sea of posh black suits and champagne drinking snobs; every time she looked away, the guy would be shmoozing it up to some new group of people. It was ridiculous, he was like…. Her age!

“Hey,Jason,” Stephanie jabbed her elbow into the man next to her, startling him from his judgement of the hors d’oeuvres.

“What Imposter? Lose track of him again?”

“No jackass, tell me how is it that some richie 17 year old is running Drake Industries when I can’t even manage to pass my Biology exams?”

“Probably because you don’t study Steph,” a smushed voice answered from behind them. They both turned to see Duke struggling to swallow a crab-cake.

“… What are you doing, Duke?”

“It’s so dry you guys, I can’t swallow it, I’ve been trying for five minutes.” Duke mumbled, catching the crumbs that fell out as he did so.

“You know, it’s customary not to insult the host’s food when you been graciously invited to their gala,”

The trio whipped their heads around to look directly at the smooth voice who’d spoken just moments before.

“Though I don’t know how you’d know that, so I guess I’ll allow you a pass. Timothy Drake,” the man stuck his hand out in greeting, “What a pleasure to meet the newest of the Waynes. Duke, was it?”

Jason grasped the Timothy’s hand with a suppressed sneer as both he and Stephanie stepped forward to block Duke from sight, “I’m Jason, Todd-Wayne that is. I don’t believe we’ve met.”

Timothy half-smiled, “We have actually,” he dropped their hands, discreetly keeping his hand from touching his clothes, “Though it was before your.. accident so I can’t imagine you’d remember.”

Jason grit his teeth, “No, I guess I don’t.”

“All the same, while the invitation was open any of the Wayne family, I had hoped to see your Father in attendance, is he here?”

“Oh, he’s around here somewhere..” Steph gave a nervous laugh. No he wasn’t. Bruce was nowhere to be seen. In fact, Bruce was most likely looking through the Drake’s office finances. Y’know, the Drakes’ who’s son they were currently talking to. The one they were supposed to be watching.

That Drake.

“A shame. Well, if you see him, let him know I’m looking for him. I have… a business proposal for him,” Timothy’s lips twitched into a smirk as he drifted away to another group of chittering adults.

All three vigilantes stared after him, “Yeah, there’s no way he doesn’t know about the embezzlement.”

“Timothy Drake’s gotta go down.”

—-

Okay so this is really a very rough draft and I actually kinda don’t like how it came out but idk I think there’s more where this came from…

Part 2:

https://at.tumblr.com/snaileer/socialitetim-2/fpeoeaca4kbf

Crack HC, because is there any other kind?

Bruce realises embarrassingly late that his Batkids can’t swim.

Gotham’s beach water is pure chemicals and sewage, and the city’s public school funding doesn’t exactly prioritise teaching kids to swim. Steph, Duke and Jason had never seen a swimming pool before meeting Bruce.

Tim’s parents meant to sign him up for swim lessons after he fell into their indoor fountain when he was three and nearly drowned - it would have been so embarrassing if it happened when they had guests! - but forgot.

So Bruce is like. Oh no my baby-soldiers must learn to swim.

Damian insists that since the League trained him to withstand waterboarding, he’s fine. Bruce pulls a muscle in his cheek from clenching his jaw so hard.

Dick insists that he can swim and manages one impressive mermaid-style undulation before becoming disoriented and slamming into the wall.

Duke covers himself in floaties and clings to a pool noodle for dear life, eschewing dignity because “this isn’t how I die”.

Conversely, Tim sinks like a stone, curls up on the bottom of the pool, and waits for death.

Cass, with the lowest body fat percentage, also sinks but manages to squeeze into one of the drains. She re-emerges six hours later in an estuary in New Jersey.

Steph refuses to let go of the wall by the deep end, scuttling away like a crab when Bruce tries to poke her into the water with a skimmer net.

Jason scoffs at them all and manages a perfect swan dive before flailing and crashing into Steph, causing both of them to panic and use each other as ladders to get out.

Alfred asks Barbara for the security camera footage and makes everyone watch it twice a year to keep their egos in check.

what if when jason was stealing the tires off the batmobile, batman was chasing catwoman through the city so they're both there to witness this tiny kid trying to jack the tires off this behemoth tank of a car.

they're in the 'off again' phase of their relationship but they both just go 'tiny child, mine' so we have the comedy of errors of batman and catwoman just running off with jason in the middle of the night.

like bruce gets him first but then four days later selina breaks into the manor and whisks off jason to the luxurious penthouse that she is currently 'borrowing'.

batman picks up jason by the scruff of his hoodie less than a week later and herds him back to the manor.

so on and so forth.

jason, the kid with no parents to suddenly two parents (batman and catwoman nonetheless) who want to spend time with him to the degree that they steal him from each other. wild.

jason: so like, is bruce your ex husband or something? am i the kid in this divorce--

selina: shush, kitten. now let me explain how we're going to break into the museum and steal back this ancient south asian artifact that very much does not belong to them--

(selina found this kid trying to steal tires from the batmobile, do you really think she's not going to teach him all her cat-burglar ways?)

it's great for a while but jason's right on the cusp of teenage-hood angst and the fourty second time you're being shuffled between your weird vigilante parents in three months whose method of custody is breaking in through each other's windows, you get tired.

jason: *twelve, angry and sleep deprived because bruce broke into 'selina's' villa to pick him up at four am* that's it! Co-parenting is a thing for the love of god

bruce and selina: *immediately get the wrong idea* we should get married

jason: *backing away with dawning horror* wait no that's not what i meant!

selina: *petting one of her seven cats like she's a bond villain* excellent, this way dick grayson will also be one of mine. that kind of contortion was meant for thievery.

bruce: alfred will finally stop passive aggressively asking me when i'm getting married, thank god. jaylad, would you like to be the flower boy?

selina: darling this wedding better be extravagant

jason: *frantically waiting for the call to be picked up* dickhead, i don't know what i did but batman and catwoman are getting married and bruce wants me to wear a dress--

dick: *just back from a titan's mission in space* omg did B adopt another kid? and what the fuck do you mean by married--

alfred: *back in the manor* ah, it's time to dip into the heirlooms for a ring--

Just because one of your chicken eggs hatched a fire breathing dragon people think you’re evil. But you’re still just a regular farmer trying to make a living while dealing with an overprotective dragon, heroes that want to kill you and fanatics who want to worship you as the new Demon Lord.