archduchesskittycat - Exploding Crumpets
Exploding Crumpets

she/her

439 posts

Are You The Witch Who Turned Eleven Princes Into Swans?

“Are you the witch who turned eleven princes into swans?”

The old woman stared at the figure on the front step of her cottage and considered her options. It was the kind of question usually backed up by a mob with meaningful torches, and it was the kind of question she tried to avoid.

Coming from a single dusty, tired housewife, it should’ve held no terrors.

“You a cop?”

The housewife twisted the hem of her apron. “No,” she muttered. “I’m a swan.”

A raven croaked somewhere in the woods. Wind whispered in the autumn leaves.

Then: “I think I can guess,” the old woman said slowly. “Husband stole your swan skin and forced you to marry him?”

A nod.

“And you can’t turn back into a swan until you find your skin again.”

A nod.

“But I reckon he’s hidden it, or burned it, or keeps it locked up so you can’t touch it.”

A tiny, miserable nod.

“And then you hear that old Granny Rothbart who lives out in the woods is really a batty old witch whose father taught her how to turn princes into swans,” the old woman sighed. “And you think, ‘Hey, stuff the old skin, I can just turn into a swan again this way.’

“But even if that was true – which I haven’t said if it is or if it isn’t – I’d say that I can only do it to make people miserable. I’m an awful person. I can’t do it out of the goodness of my heart. I have no goodness. I can’t use magic to make you feel better. I only wish I could.”

Another pause. “If I was a witch,” she added.

The housewife chewed the inside of her cheek. Then she drew herself up and, for the first time, looked the old woman in the eyes.

“Can you do it to make my husband miserable?”

The old woman considered her options. Then she pulled the wand out from the umbrella stand by the door. It was long, and silver, and a tiny glass swan with open wings stood perched on the tip.

“I can work with that,” said the witch.

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More Posts from Archduchesskittycat

5 months ago

My guilty pleasure right now is watching luxury hotel reviews and I found this british guy who keeps accidentally clipping into the backrooms.

He's unintentionally making the best liminal horror content on youtube


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6 months ago

My least favorite things about anti- UBI discourse is always the techbros whining that "nobody is going to work anymore! People will just watch Netflix all day!" and I have 2 responses:

One of the reasons I’m so skeptical of universal basic income is that when you run a school you see just how strong the human impulse to not really do anything is.

I’m convinced 99% of humans would just watch insane amounts of Netflix and play a lot of video games.

— Austen Allred (@Austen) April 12, 2023

1) Who the fuck cares. Who the fuck cares what people do with their time! That's kind of the fucking point!

2) People aren't going to stop laboring. Housework (look, it's right there in the word!) will still need to be done. So will maintenance on our homes and personal spaces. Children will still need carers, as will the elderly and disabled. There are millions of examples of ~work~ that we do all the time, uncompensated, that won't suddenly stop because we aren't forced to sell our labor to provide corporation's profits.

I'm not surprised that what is traditionally women's work is invisible to these dipshits, but it never fails to anger me.

Anyway. Join the IWW.

My Least Favorite Things About Anti- UBI Discourse Is Always The Techbros Whining That "nobody Is Going

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6 months ago
On Colors And Being Different And Not Being Enough For Yourself
On Colors And Being Different And Not Being Enough For Yourself
On Colors And Being Different And Not Being Enough For Yourself
On Colors And Being Different And Not Being Enough For Yourself
On Colors And Being Different And Not Being Enough For Yourself
On Colors And Being Different And Not Being Enough For Yourself
On Colors And Being Different And Not Being Enough For Yourself
On Colors And Being Different And Not Being Enough For Yourself
On Colors And Being Different And Not Being Enough For Yourself
On Colors And Being Different And Not Being Enough For Yourself
On Colors And Being Different And Not Being Enough For Yourself
On Colors And Being Different And Not Being Enough For Yourself
On Colors And Being Different And Not Being Enough For Yourself
On Colors And Being Different And Not Being Enough For Yourself
On Colors And Being Different And Not Being Enough For Yourself

on colors and being different and not being enough for yourself

(please reblog instead of liking)


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