she/her
439 posts
Archduchesskittycat - Exploding Crumpets - Tumblr Blog
not to be maya on side but please do not call someone or something “mayan” when talking about our people, culture, etc. “mayan” refers to our language family (a language FAMILY, in which there are plenty of unique languages). we are the maya, not the mayans. i am maya, not mayan. it is the indigenous maya community, not the indigenous mayan community.
Can we stop using "still lives with their parents" or "unemployed" or "doesn't have a drivers license" or "didn't graduate high school" as an insult or evidence that someone is a bad person? Struggling with independence or meeting milestones is not a moral failing.
A+ example of how the media manipulates people for clicks and anger engagement.
I feel like I would have been diagnosed with OCD a lot earlier if the vast majority of screening questions (for mental illnesses in general) weren't based on the person's perception of their own behavior, in isolation. and what i mean by that is asking someone with OCD "do you wash your hands excessively?" is not a good question.
a person with OCD believes they are washing their hands the correct number of times. it's not excessive. we believe we're exhibiting best practices and helping to keep everything clean.
better questions might be, "does it seem like you wash your hands a lot more than your friends or family?" "do you get dry patches or cuts on your hands from washing your hands?" "do you find it deeply distressing, more so than how you've seen other people react, when you get something on your hands that you can't clean off right away?"
being asked "are you overly preoccupied with bugs, symmetry, and contamination?" also got "no" responses from me years ago in my life. what they didn't ask for, and didn't know, was what *exactly* I was doing in my day to day life that genuinely ate up my time and mental space to a concerning degree, but I *didn't know* that other people don't do this.
"do you spend a lot of time cleaning?" -> no, it's not a lot. it's a good amount. why?
"do you become frustrated because it seems like no one else meets your organizational and cleanliness standards - do you often 'take over' for other people because they can't do it right - do new friends seem surprised by how strict you can be about your living space?" -> oh. yeah. yeah I get it now.
Not that anybody asked, but I think it's important to understand how shame and guilt actually work before you try to use it for good.
It's a necessary emotion. There are reasons we have it. It makes everything so. much. worse. when you use it wrong.
Shame and guilt are DE-motivators. They are meant to stop behavior, not promote it. You cannot, ever, in any meaningful way, guilt someone into doing good. You can only shame them into not doing bad.
Let's say you're a parent and your kid is having issues.
Swearing in class? Shame could work. You want them to stop it. Keep it in proportion*, and it might help. *(KEEP IT IN PROPORTION!!!)
Not doing their homework? NO! STOP! NO NOT DO THAT! EVER! EVER! EVER! You want them to start to do their homework. Shaming them will have to opposite effect! You have demotivated them! They will double down on NOT doing it. Not because they are being oppositional, but because that's what shame does!
You can't guilt people into building better habits, being more successful, or getting more involved. That requires encouragement. You need to motivate for that stuff!
If you want it in a simple phrase:
You can shame someone out of being a bad person, but you can't shame them into being a good person.
Some months ago I bought the most banned book in the USA 2022 as a protest and it was ONE OF THE BEST DESICION OF MY LIFE! I found myself in this book in so many ways that it helped me understand myself better. At the same time I found enough differences to my own experiences that I started to draw and write something like a personal response (one that I will never publish but that I hold dear to my heart). There were pages in this book that made me want to gift it to anyone who didn't understand my gender or sexuality.
Book banning does nothing but harm. It keeps people from understanding themselves, or history, or others... And it is not lost to anyone, that this is a war on queer people and people of colour specifically.
btw… important PSA: cutting off the mold on the surface of food does nothing. you can only see the spores on the surface, but mold itself has spread and grown roots into the food. by the time you can actually *see* the spores, that piece of food is completely full of it. youre still eating mold.
many of which are poisonous and have been shown to cause cancer. youre not even supposed to sniff it, because that can get spores into your lungs. like if you look up the health and safety guidelines for mold they barely stop short of telling you to put on a hazmat suit.
like produce is okay as long as you cut around it at least an inch, but cooked foods? you gonna die. stop eating mold people
When my friend group went to see Star Wars Episode 9 there was only one of us who wasn't there that day. And as we all ate ice cream after the film and discussed how much it sucked, I proposed the cruelest joke I have ever played in my life. I said we should all tell the guy who wasn't there how good it was and hype it up. That boy had a whole week of "It really managed to recover and save the sequel trilogy" and "Honestly the coolest one." and when he finally got to see it, his response was a lone "Fuck you." and leaving the group chat.
It's honestly such a shame that we've made such a huge thing out of swimming and swimsuits and looking good in swimsuits and fat people not looking good in swimsuits. Swimming is actually the perfect exercise for fat people because it puts zero pressure on the joints, which is a much bigger concern for us than it is for skinny people, and lets you exercise basically every muscle group without straining too much and risking injury. Yet somehow this is one of the least accessible exercises to fat people due to nothing more than a culture of body shaming. The work to unlearn all the shame to be comfortable in a bathing suit in front of strangers is huge even for conventionally attractive people, but I could probably count on one hand the number of fat people I've met who were confident enough to get in a bathing suit and go swimming in public.
And what is the exercise that somehow everyone thinks they should do instead? Jogging. It's more accessible, sure, it's easy and costs nothing to go outside and run. But I need you to understand telling a fat person to go running is basically telling them to go destroy their knees. Not to mention it's probably one of the most physically uncomfortable exercises to do when you have a body that jiggles even with compression garments.
Imagine a world where everyone had the ability and equal access to whatever exercise fit them best and helped them be happy and healthiest. Imagine a world where fat people go swimming.
Holy SHIT I've just made an incredible tumblr discovery... or does everyone already know it?? Well okay so earlier I made this post, right? And then I made a different post where I linked back to that post, and I've noticed that the URL of the post looks like this:
https://www.tumblr.com/nohoperadio/757634309674893312/spend-some-time-in-the-head-of-a-perfectly-normal
Look at the words at the end of that URL: "spend some time in the head of a perfectly normal"... well that's not how the post goes! That string of words does not appear at any point in the text of the post that URL leads to! The post expressed a similar concept in completely different language! Whoa freaky!!
So I was trying to figure out what the heck this could mean when I realized: that's what the post used to look like as a draft, when I thought of the idea for that post I drafted like a one-sentence rough summary which I then later went back to and edited into the full version (I often do this with ideas for posts), and the little one-sentence note went like that. I guess tumblr assigned those words to the URL when I first created the draft and it just stays like that forever?? That feels fucked up, stuff I delete from a draft shouldn't end up becoming public in this fucky roundabout way, I mean it's hard to think of scenarios where a serious privacy breach would occur from this but it's not impossible and millions of tumblr posts are constantly happening!
I've gone back to some previous posts where I remember doing the summary-draft thing and sure enough, there's posts from months ago where the original long-deleted version of the draft is preserved and publicly visible in the URL. I'm not weird to think this is spooky right?? It's so spooky to me!!! Seriously has this been documented before do people know about this??
so many of the "i only use chat gpt for ___" excuses are concerning because people use it in place of learning basic, valuable skills.
you don't need chat gpt to write professional sounding emails for you, there are many many guides on the internet and with a bit of practise you can learn to write them yourself. a very important skill for a professional to have, and some of the basic rules will carry over into irl conversations!
you don't need chat gpt to be a "more detailed search engine", because you're robbing yourself of the chance to learn how to find and filter information on the internet and evaluate the credibility of sources. which is a VITAL skill. plus, chat gpt is notorious for being wrong?
if you use it to write essays, you're taking away your ability to hone your research skills, your writing skills, your critical thinking skills. your ability to create persuasive arguments!
and for most of the other reasons people use chat gpt, there are non-ai websites for that! for maths, wolfram alpha. for figuring out what you can cook with the ingredients you have there's supercook and the like. for creating routines, there's about a million apps!
whatever you "only" use chatgpt for i promise there are better websites out there that you don't have to worry will produce complete bullshit???? and destroy the environment???
Something that helps
If you blurt out something that you thought would be funny but it comes across as insensitive, just quickly say, “I’m sorry, that was rude, what I meant was…”
If you say something in anger or frustration, take a breath and say, “I’m sorry, that was hurtful, let me rephrase…”
If you say something heartfelt, but it comes across as insincere or ironic, say “That sounds like I’m just saying it, but I’m being truly honest…”
If you accidentally tell the waiter “enjoy your meal” just laugh and say a quick “so sorry, my brain isn’t working today!” and you will most likely get a commiserating chuckle in return.
Most of the time, the other person will accept your apology with no harm done. Sometimes they even insist they understood what you meant the first time and clarification was not needed. At times, maybe they have a right to be upset, but it never hurts to apologize again so they know that you’re taking their feelings into account.
Repeat after me. It’s okay to be bad at conversation. Knowing how to apologize makes it easier.
it's always "immortals always lose the ones they love!" and never "this family has had this incredible, powerful, loving figure present through generations of their lineage, all because they are descended from someone the immortal loved long ago" and i think that's a shame!!
T-shirt that says “I understand the themes and characterization of media I like, sometimes I just make jokes”
"kill them with kindness" WRONG. chair attack 🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑
I don’t care how old you are, Barbie Life in the Dreamhouse will always be a masterpiece
I love when I’m in the middle of speaking and suddenly I’m like wait I literally don’t agree with what I’m saying