Magnum Opus | Phantom Reunions

Magnum Opus | phantom reunions

characters: ex!eren x reader, husband!levi x reader

summary: Insomnia and nicotine can cause a lot of mental hiccups but neither of you believed this one to be in relation to that.

tags: angst, fluff, eren finally shows up (kinda ??), a slice of life, children, parenthood, grief/mourning, these kids ain't giving reader a break, justice for hange.

“Hange stop holding onto the fence like that. You’re creeping people out.” You lectured the adult as you leaned your back against a nearby wall, while one of your hands held onto the handle of Amos’s stroller. Your other hand was being used as a makeshift fan as January’s weather was erratic with it only getting used to the divergence of climate. Today is a testament to its troubles with the heat being overbearing. Living close to the school, Hange suggested walking instead of using your car as transportation. – “Gas emissions are one of the leading causes of climate change.” 

Reluctantly they retracted their hands from the wire, demeanor going slack at the fact they no longer could stand guard. Keeping your words in mind, they let their eyes wander the vicinity to see that people were indeed staring not at them but at you.

“I’d say that I’m not the object of interest here.” They muttered, side-eying all of the individuals that were bold enough to make their gazes on you known. Many people were attracted to you like a moth to a flame based on Hange’s analysis. Never had you taken their words for a fact as you simply believed they were trying to boost your ego. 

Deciding to let you be ignorant on the matter, they frowned,  “Excuse me for being a concerned guardian.”

In your case, you had not heard their first comment nor acknowledged the gazes not because you were ignorant of the matter but because you simply weren’t interested. You felt your eyes automatically roll at their excuse. “This is an elementary school, not some sort of underground fight club.”

“That’s what they all say.” They exasperated before crouching down to come to eye level with Amos, who was previously aimlessly observing the other people waiting. Noticing a big shadow overtaking the sun, the child smiles seeing their godparent. They poked Amos’s pudgy cheeks, trying to coerce him to agree with their antics. “Isn’t that right baby? This is just some big fight club and Han-Han isn’t crazy.” 

His eyes crinkled while his mouth drew outwards, nodding his head in agreement as he chirped, “Yeah!”

The artist who had drawn the adorable illustrated smile on your son had now drawn the same design on themselves  — be it not adorable but still the same design prompt, you watched their eyes switch up towards your sitting form. “Why can’t you be more like your son? He understands the vision.”

“Wanna change my diaper, Han-Han?” You spoke with a babyish cadence, inching closer to their face. 

No one batted an eye at your words, probably believing you were mimicking your child in the stroller. However, Hange knew that simply was not the case. Having been with a man such as Levi for so long, you’ve adapted his personality’s tang to be your own. You were given the package deal that included his crude humor. 

They recoiled at the mental image you graciously painted for them while they pursed their lips. Placing their hands on their knees for support, they become eye level with you. “Your humor disgusts me. I hope you know that.”

“Gotta make life interesting for you somehow.” You teased, grinning from receiving the reaction you wanted. It had only grown in length when you heard a little giggle coming from inside the stroller. Bending to the side you were welcomed with your cheerful child erupting in a gibberish tangent with the only word deciphered from it being, ”Up! Up!” 

Unlatching the buckles in his stroller, you pull him towards you, cradling him in your arms you use an arm to shove the now empty stroller towards Hange, who didn't make much of an effort to refuse it as they were minimally shocked by the betrayal of their old accomplice.

“Why can’t you be more like your godson? He understands the joke.” You mocked and before they could even utter a response the sound of the school bell rang throughout the campus accompanied by the boisterous bustle of children eager to leave. 

The loud noise was not welcomed by Amos as he almost immediately began to wail. You had made the mistake of not bringing his headphones and now had to deal with the consequences. A stream of tears flowed through his tear ducts and partially made his steely eyes look foggy. You learned to not panic in these situations as it would only add to his own overwhelmed state. Instead, you would reassure him that there was nothing to fear and pull him closer to your body to let him know that you were there. It did indeed calm him down as he was now reduced to sniffles. 

Lifting your eyes towards the influx of elementary school students, your eyes brighten seeing your two children walk hand in hand, both of their eyes frantically trying to find your silhouette amongst the crowd. Tapping on Amos’s cheeks you point a finger in their direction and whisper in his ear, “Look over there, it’s bubba and sissy.” 

His clouded eyes followed your finger in a rather skeptical manner. His vision was slightly obscured but he could easily decipher the hazy silhouettes of his sibling. Rubbing the tears from his face, he cleared his vision and using all the vocal power he called out for his siblings in glee. 

Meanwhile, Hange had begun a search of their own with their hand being used as a visor of sorts with their index fingers pressed up against their eyebrows as their eyes had zeroed in on the crowd and found their targets. To be fully immersed in their search, they had yet to notice that you had spotted them first. Believing their running figures to be directed towards them and confusing their excited voices chanting “Mama! Bubba!” to be other children. Opening up their arms in expectation, they sigh in bliss as they flutter their eyes closed for added effect. 

After a while in their position, they were not met with the graces of tiny arms wrapping around their legs but instead the gushing of air. Peering an eye open they are greeted by the scene they had envisioned for themselves to be realized with you. 

They tried to recover from embarrassment but it was too late. 

With a judging stare, Iris pokes her head out of your legs and points towards the adult. “Han-Han, why are you standing like that? You look weird.” 

Masking their disappointed disposition, they let out a whistle as they covered up their actions in a stretch. “Just taking in the air and letting out a good stretch! You know, gotta be ready for the walk home.”

“You’re getting old, Hange! If you stretch too much you might break a bone. We learned that in class today. Right, Iris?” He turned to his sister who nodded in agreement. “Be careful.”

Children are easy to deceive and take everything for face value. They don’t know better and have yet to understand that they shouldn’t trust what everyone says. Most children do, at least. Whether you or Levi had some sort of special intellectual gene that was then passed on to your children was beyond them. Since they were kids, they wanted to believe that they were genuine in their concerns. However, as your kids, they couldn’t wholeheartedly believe that to be true. 

Their jaw slacked with the inclusion of a twitching eye, staring incredulously at the twins. Shifting their eyes upwards they see you with your head turned away from them and lips suctioned inwards in hopes of not bursting out in laughter. 

“Hey! Your mom and I aren’t that different in age!” They retorted back, highly offended at the fact that they were the only ones being discriminated against.

“I’m not the one pushing 30.”

“Why you-”

“Ah ah ah, I am sensing some inappropriate words. Best not continue that sentence in front of the kiddos.”

“Let’s just go.” They grumbled out as they began to walk away but were stopped by some forceful tugs on the trench coat. Glancing down they see Ace and Iris wearing apologetic expressions. “We’re sorry, Hange.”

“You are lucky you guys are cute.” They cooed, hugging them tightly. It was visible to anyone that they were losing oxygen during the whole interaction.

Your family dynamic was unique and to many unconventional with no longer having the leading male role that was to be seen in most depictions of familial dynamics. In your family, there was no need for that role to be filled by anyone. Scratch that, no one was worthy of filling the role anymore. It belonged to one person and solely one person. 

Even now as you walked through your neighborhood with the many unwanted stares being set on you and you alone. A few had the looks to make a woman swoon with just a glance and others didn’t have the same impact but weren’t that unsettling on the eyes. 

None of them amounted to him. No man ever will in your eyes. That’s what you believed to be true and in your mind, it was speculated to be factual. 

Aside from your hyper-awareness of the looks, the walk home was tranquil. Listening to Iris and Ace make the occasional comment about their surroundings while you and Hange would chime in and let them know what things were. Even with the lively sounds of cars passing and pedestrians talking, Amos didn’t seem too bothered by it as slumber overtook him. 

You and Hange had tried prying into their school day but to no avail. They claimed that the information was top secret and that people could be listening in. All you could do was play along with their silliness and await for the classified information to be revealed at home. Which they abided by, shoving you and Hange inside your home as soon as you had unlocked the door – gently taking the stroller away from you and slowly pulling inside to not wake their baby brother.

“What are you-” You had started but were soon shushed, being pushed further inside, specifically into your living room.  You both were ushered to the brown sectional couch that you had brought with you from the old house. It was one of the nicer items in your abode and your children knew this as they instructed you both to brush off any outside residue before taking your seat.

“What's the meaning of all this?” You ask with concern etched in your voice. The last thing you needed to hear was that your children were being mistreated by other kids at school. 

The twins gave each other knowing grins before reaching into their backpacks to pull out what seemed to be flyers. They gave you each one and as soon as you saw the title of it your heartbeat stagnated.

Dr.Yeager Presentation

On Wednesday, January 22nd

In the Shiganshina Elementary Gymnasium

@12:30pm

Ignorance was truly bliss as your children did not catch on to your desolate demeanor, taking your silence as you pondered on a decision. The surname that used to haunt you was now printed in bolded letters on a flyer. The flyer didn’t have any indications that it would be him either aside from sharing the same last name. You didn’t want to jump to conclusions and assume that it was the same person. In the years, you didn’t care enough to know about what career path he had chosen to pursue. Hell, you had no idea whether he was still in Shiganshina or not. 

A clap resonated within the living room walls, taking your attention off of the flyer and onto your enthusiastic son. 

“We want to go! We heard Dr. Yeager is a really good doctor and has done a lot of cool things! I want to be just like him!” Ace passionately proclaimed with his chest puffed out and an award-winning smile.

“I wanna ask him about dissecting!”, Iris added in a dreamlike state of mind, which left you a little worried and Hange oozing with pride. You didn’t have the heart to tell her that not all doctors “dissect” and let her live on her fantasy. 

“I say we let them! Enabling curiosity and building interests is good for them at this age.” They remind you, as a matter of fact. 

Staring a good while at the flyer, you nod your head following their claims. “I don’t see a problem with you guys going. It’s going to be after school so I’ll try to get off of work early and like Hange said this would be good for you guys.”

For the sake of your children’s happiness, biting the bullet was all you could do. Nevertheless, if it turned out to be him that could serve as a sign that he has changed.

Their steely eyes shined with excitement, their mouths beginning to open to vocalize their feelings but were silenced by you placing a finger on your lips, pointing to the dormant baby in the stroller. They nodded their heads and mumbled an apology.

You let out a chuckle at their actions and were going to speak but felt a pair of eyes on you. You see Hange tilt their head before giving a knowing gaze. 

Without the unvocalized reminder, you would’ve completely forgotten the commitment Hange had roped you into. You had almost allowed for a frown to graze its way on your face at the revelation but bit your inner cheek instead.

“We have some exciting news too.” Hange began and just when you thought they were going to take the reins on telling the kids the news, you felt an elbow nudge your side and a cough signaling you that would not be the case. You would’ve glared if the kids weren’t there.

“We’re going to the park and then afterward we’re going to go meet up with some of my old friends from high school for dinner.” You explained feeling rather awkward announcing the plans for the evening. Not wanting to worry them about your true sentiments about the situation, you concocted a faux smile to replace your rather dim expression. 

The excitement that they had previously felt had not diminished in the slightest, it had actually been amplified. They were jumping up and down in a circle as they held hands. You had checked off every excitable thing there was to them; Getting permission to go to the presentation and getting to spend time with you.

They threw themselves onto you as they welcomed you with a tight hug, peppering your face with long-lasting kisses. You made no effort to stop them as you enveloped your arms around their waists and pulled them closer to you.

Hange watched the interaction with sympathetic eyes, knowing and experiencing all that the family had gone through in the last couple of months. This allowed them to rest easy knowing that once they returned to Marley in a few days you guys would be fine and even if you weren’t, they were just a phone call away.

Taking one look at the watch on their wrist, they knew that they would have to cut this moment short for the sake of time – not because they felt left out at all, that would be petty. Clearing their throat, they let their voice be the bearer of unfortunate news. “Alright, Alright that’s enough kissing for today. We aren’t going until later so if you don’t want your mom to change her mind you guys have to finish your homework first.”

Just as quickly as they were to embrace you, they were equally as efficient to get off of you. Picking up their respective backpacks and rushing toward their bedrooms. Hearing the clicks of their doors shut, you slumped into the sofa with an exhale leaving your nose. 

“I think I’m going to take a nap. Wake me before it’s time to go.”

“You got it, boss.” You imagined they had saluted but you wouldn’t truly know as your eyes were shut closed and your mind had already begun to drift further from reality and into the abyss.

In recent months, your need to sleep has depleted. You never had sleep-related issues before and the running joke in your friend group was to compare you to a sloth with how frequently you’d craved to be asleep. When you dream you get transported to unrealistic situations where they can either be so realistic you believe them to be foretold prophecies or so far-fetched that you would make it the topic of conversation with your friends. With the passing of Levi, you didn’t get either. You wouldn’t dream at all. Rather you would be transported to a black void that made your mind wander for all the wrong reasons. Not to say the sleep you were receiving now was an improvement of that but you certainly stayed asleep far longer than you usually had.

What felt to be millennia was just short of four hours of uninterrupted sleep. It could have been longer if not for Hange sticking true to their word and shrugging you awake. 

“The kids are ready. We’re just waiting on you now.” They informed you as you nodded in response with addition of a yawn. 

You outstretched your limbs, hearing every bone crack in a satisfying way from the less-than-comfortable position you had slept in. “Let me freshen up and we can start heading out.” You groggled out as you rubbed your eyes, pushing yourself off of the couch to go towards the bathroom.

“Make sure to change your shirt! You got saliva stains all over it!” They called out from their position in the living room. Glancing down at your white shirt, you grimaced at the sight and rerouted yourself to your bedroom. You could hear their laugh slowly die out the closer to your bedroom you got. 

Entering the bleak room, you make your way to your closet. For being a walk-in, the lack of clothes made it look bigger than it was. A large portion of your clothes you had donated to a women's homeless shelter as a lot of your clothes no longer fit or you simply had no use for them. 

Rummaging through the minimal selection of clothes in your closet for an appropriate outfit had proven to be difficult as you began to overthink. Was this a casual event? Did you have to dress up? Did you want them to know that you tried to dress up? As you let your worries take up your mind, you failed to hear small footsteps enter your bedroom.

It wasn’t until they let themselves be known via vocalization that you had awakened from your trance. Turning behind you to meet the owner of the voice, you almost let a wail slip out of you.

In front of you was Iris. Her long raven hair was pulled into two separate low ponytails that had been tied with baby blue satin ribbons which granted her face to be showcased. 

If it was her beauty that moved you close to tears then you would be crying every single day at having such a blessing. However, the object of your near-close wails was not that. It was the dress she wore.

It was a prairie girl-esque style dress that was also blue but in a slightly lighter shade than the ribbons adorning her hair. A jewel-shaped lace neckline that had hearts spaced out every so inch thanks to the lace. Chiffon ruffles were seen going down the upper half of her body ending right at the end of the waistline that flowed out to be more chiffon. The ruffles were also orchestrated at the end of the sleeves, not overbearingly but in a simplistic way. The main focus points of the dress to a designer were its use of chiffon, the ruffles, and the color. To you, it was more than that.

“Do you need help, Mama?” She asked, not quite noticing your gaze on her dress as her eyes were looking straight past you and into your closet. “Han-Han told me to come help you.”

Not receiving a response she sees you eyeing her attire. “This is Papa’s favorite dress on me. He says I look like a pretty flower.” She explained bashful of her confession. Shifting with the balls of her feet, she muttered, “I want Mama’s friends to think I look like a pretty flower, too.”

You smiled at her explanation, brushing a few out-of-place hairs off her face before planting a delicate kiss on her forehead. “You do. You look like an Iris.” 

Your daughter’s cheeks faintly colored with a muted pink at the compliment. The urge to shower her with more affection was strong. Trying to relieve her embarrassment, she intertwines her hand in yours, pivoting you both in the direction of your closet. She grinned at your frowning expression. 

“If I’m a pretty flower then you have to be the prettiest!” She declared as she began to wreak havoc in your closet, tossing clothes she deemed to be ill-fitting for today's occasion across the room. You made no effort to stop her and sat on your bed expectantly. The possibility of her coming out with an atrocious outfit was slim. For being only six, she had a great eye for fashion. However, you were aware there weren’t many clothes she had to work with making the otherwise slim chance increase.

“Done!” 

Suddenly, articles of clothing are thrown directly at your face knocking you onto your bed. Peeling the article of clothing that had been obscuring your vision off of your face, you are pleasantly surprised by the selection. You had never been keen on wearing dresses feeling like they were a bit inconvenient with a lot of them not having pockets and the incessant fear that you’ll end up flashing someone. Albeit, this selection didn’t bother you at all.

It was a black short-sleeved bodycon that you hadn’t worn in years.  It has a mock neckline and was made of a ribbed knit material that ended mid-thigh. You never really had plans on ever using it, almost entirely forgetting it was even something you owned. In accompaniment with it was a neutral-colored plaid trench overcoat, it was endearing how considerate she was of your comfort. 

It wasn’t as intricate or showy as Iris’s outfit — in all honesty you didn’t believe anything ever could. The simplicity of the outfit and the mutable colors weren’t going to make you the talk of the discussion. As long as the muse – you – wore it that was all that mattered. It seems like what Iris meant wasn’t so much that you would be the prettiest – which you would regardless– but something that made you feel the way she saw you.

Looking in the mirror with the outfit on, you certainly did feel like a pretty flower. She permitted you the liberty of choosing accessories and footwear. A dainty gold necklace with your initials dangling as charms that were gifted to you on your first wedding anniversary by Levi and other miscellaneous jewelry that would compliment it. For footwear, you would’ve preferred to wear a casual white tennis shoe but were urged to go for a nude suede ribbon-laced heel by your persistent daughter. 

You were slightly nervous that you may look overdressed for the occasion which in turn made you not put much effort in was your hair or your face, deciding to go natural all around with the only product to grace your face being lip balm. 

“Good job, sweetie.” You praised. Letting her relish in her work and clapping in approval.

“You’re ready!” Not wanting to waste any more time, she pulls you out of your bedroom and into the living room where everyone else had been waiting for you. 

Hearing the sound of footsteps you hear Hange let out an exasperated sigh as they began their series of complaints. “Finally! How long does it-“

Seeing you now, they answered their question. Grinning from ear to ear, placing their hands on their hips as they whistled, “Look at you! Give us a twirl!”

You wanted to refuse but it looked like this was a group collective as Iris and Ace joined in.

“Twirl! Twirl! Twirl!” 

Rolling your eyes, you do as told. Crossing your feet one foot over the other to offer them all a lackluster twirl, not that they minded because they all still managed to dote on you. – “You look beautiful, mama!” “I think she looks the beautifulest!” “That’s not a word!”  "Is too!" “Who knew you had a body!”

Letting them all continue their compliments, you look over at Ace and Amos to see what they were wearing. It was a given that no one would be able to top Iris’s look today. It was to be expected in the family. However, that didn’t mean that they looked any less adorable. 

Ace was never one to care for how he looks. He’d grown accustomed to mimicking the outfits his father used to wear when they’d go out and had forgotten how to construct an outfit for himself. You assumed that Hange aided in picking an outfit since the clothes he wore were not even close to his normal graphic t-shirt and jeans he’d wear. A cream-colored jacket that had fur lining over the top of a plain white t-shirt and light-washed denim jeans. He seemed to get the memo since his usual hairstyle remained the same — a simple middle part.

On the other hand, Amos was wearing a white long sleeve that had a side pocket and three brown buttons coming down from the neckline. The same shade that was on the buttons translated into his cargo pants. To keep his head warm, he had an army green beanie that had an accent brown with the brand's name/logo. 

“You guys look so handsome!” You enthusiastically say, ruffling their hair resulting in them both, by choice nuzzling themselves into your hands. Looking up at Hange, who was holding Amos, you nod your head in acknowledgment. 

They were wearing the same clothes they had worn to pick up the kids. A white button-down that was peaking through their black vest, a navy green leather trench coat, and high-waisted white jeans that weren’t completely visible with their knee-high black boots. Their brunette hair was pulled back in the usual half-do bun with their bangs splitting to their respective sides as they slightly covered their eye-patched eye and their correctional lenses.

“And you look alright.” You passively remark. You walk past them and through the front door as they all follow close behind.

“Admitting that I look good isn’t that hard, ya know! Give me something to boast my ego a little!”

Luckily for all of you, using a car for transportation was needed. Both the park and Perko’s were too far to be considered a walking distance. Even with such knowledge, Hange was insistent that you all walk. You were all for the environment but if saving the environment meant walking across the town, the environment be damned. —- “If that’s what you want, be my guest. See you in 4-5 business days.”

In record time, they had buckled in the kids and had their foot on the gas. Given that the car was an older model and children were present, you would have to reprimand them at times for their reckless driving. You couldn’t stay all that mad since you had managed to reach your destination in one piece. 

From inside the car, you could see not many people or not any people at all were at the park. It was a school night and if people would’ve come to this park it would’ve been earlier since it was an early release day for all the elementary in the district. The kids didn’t have an issue with that. Claiming that there were more things to do and no playground showdowns. 

You had been prepared to play with the kids. You had not been prepared to play with the kids with heels on. Even with the feeling of blisters forming on your feet, you didn’t let it affect the quality time you wanted to have with your kids. Well, for a little bit, it didn’t.

“You guys are so fast.” You panted, gripping your knees to catch your breath while staring at the bark at your feet. It happened to go on deaf ears because when you went to look at them they were already playing on the monkey bars. 

Feeling a tap on your shoulder, you see a smug Hange holding out water with Amos clutching onto their hand attempting to stand by himself.

”I know those heels are killing you. Go sit on the bench. I’ll keep them company.” They suggested as they pointed to an unoccupied bench nearby. Grabbing the water you chug it down and breathe out a sigh of contentment while tossing the bottle into a nearby bin.

“I’m fine. I can manage.” You tried to reassure them but just so happened to prove their point by walking away with a stutter in your step. 

“I’m fine, my ass.” You heard them mutter out. Reaching your defeated figure, they spun you away from them and towards the bench. You shrug your coat off and allow it to shelter your legs from the breeze as you sit. Pulling out your phone from your coat pocket to check the time you notice that it was nearing six. 

Being left alone to your own devices, the overwhelming feeling of nausea overtook your senses. You were going to see your past in less than an hour. Never in a million years would you think of returning to Shiganshina. Much less reunite with any of your old friends.

To those that care, nothing dramatic caused this situation to be of this caliber. There was no “Big Fight”, no sides were being chosen after your break up with Eren, and there was ultimately nothing. On their ends, at the very most.

The one culpable was you. 

Eighteen-year-old, searching for independence and a new life, you. The consequences of your actions. You had brought this upon yourself. Cutting them all off in preparation for your new life and not having attachments to the past. The subpar decent thing you had done was invite them to your wedding.

Were they going to treat you the same? Were they going to treat this as an intervention? Do all of them know you’re coming?

More importantly, what would be your response to any of it?

Looking up ahead, you permit your thoughts to die out. Lifting your phone in landscape mode, you start recording the scene in front of you. The screen displayed a stressed-out Hange alternating between pushing each kid on the swings. Wanting each individual to shine, you would zoom in periodically on a specific person. You could only hope that the audio could catch their dialogue. —  “ Higher!” “I’m trying here!” “Try harder!” “Any higher and you’re reaching heaven, kid!”

A ghost of a smile weaseled its way onto your face. You liked capturing every moment you could of your life. That's how you knew a photography career would suit you well. Something about being the one responsible for capturing memories, being put in a spot where you need to capture the perfect moment, excites you. Sticking to being a wallflower instead of the centerpiece was comforting. You didn’t need to meet expectations and could do your sort of thing.

From afar you hear a voice, one that speaks your name with wonder. Too faint to be caught on camera but loud enough to be caught by your ear. The usage of your name aside, it was the voice that rendered you in a short-lived shock.

Raising your head in the enigmas direction, you’re met with nothing but a couple of fallen leaves swirling away with the wind. 

“Whatcha looking for?” Hange asked, scanning the baron park along with you. Judging by their worn-out faces and rumbling stomachs, you knew they were ready to leave. 

Not wanting to worry them, you shake your head, “Nothing, I just thought I heard something.”

“Insomnia must be hitting ya. It was most likely just the wind. I wouldn’t worry too much about it.” 

“I guess you’re right.” You reason, lifting yourself off the bench with your coat draping over your forearm.  A tug on your dress causes your eyes to travel down to see Ace. He must’ve caught on to your worrisome countenance.

“I’m here, mama. You don’t need to worry. I’ll protect all of us.” He spoke with resolve. Thinking that was the end of his declaration, you were ready to thank him for his thoughtfulness. He caught you off guard when he spoke yet again. 

“Just like Papa always does!”

That would make it the second time today you were on the brink of releasing a monsoon at your child's words. As if they had agreed upon reducing your mind to mush and letting the only solid aspect remain to be nostalgia and longing.

They say kids mimic their parents and adapt to their mannerisms. That belief would seem to apply to your children making everything about Levi. To an extent, that was true. Beyond that, They were kids in denial. Kids who loved their dad and made sure everyone knew. Kids who held onto their father's existence with desperation like their mom. 

“Just like your papa does.” You affectionately recite back in a soft voice, you lean down and let him kiss your cheek. Searching farther ahead, you can see that everyone else was nearing the car. “Come on, if we aren’t fast enough they’ll leave us behind. Means there will be no delicious food for us.”

A downfall of being a wallflower was while being in your world, you sometimes fail your duty as a wallflower. You had caught the eye of a man entering the park. He intended to defuse any tension or stress he had accumulated throughout the workday. A cigarette between his lips, a doctor's coat that you would think would hide his body only enhanced it, and tousled brunette hair. He looked like he needed this escape. 

Little did you know you had just tarnished any hope of him doing so with your presence alone.

At first, he believed the nicotine was fogging up his head and the added stress further worsened his cognitive thinking skills. He thought you were a phantom. In a way, that remained to be his general thoughts on the situation since the you that was a few feet away from him differed from the you from a decade ago. You were no longer a flower bud that had a crowd of spectators anticipating which kind of flower you’d bloom into. Matter of fact, it was hard to even place the title of Wallflower on you because you were far from it. 

A nurtured wallflower turned the centerpiece of a pleasing bouquet.

He had observed how your fingers would pinch into your phone screen, your hands tilting occasionally to capture different angles, and making the conscious decision to not acknowledge the eye-piercing piece of jewelry on your ringer finger.  He ignored it with such confidence that his legs began to walk towards you out of their own accord. Painting this to be a predestined reunion of sorts. The nicotine was surely causing his senses to malfunction. That’s what he deduced it to be.

Along with his other delusional assumptions, he had avoided labeling the children on the playground to be of personal importance. He had written them off as kids you were babysitting and the adult holding the baby to be a friend you had roped into helping – the only assumption he unknowingly had gotten right. Even when he saw the way the kids jumped into your arms. Even when he could see the resemblances between the kids and you. Even when he could audibly hear them call you their mom. He still stuck to his assumptions but with a faltered credence.

Whenever he had whispered your name – primarily for his clarification — it was never his intention for you to hear it. He didn’t realize he was just a foot away from you and that anything he said now was within earshot of you. 

He observed as your content guise was stripped from your face. How the guise had morphed into distress. His jaded eyes trailed over your face, checking out every single maturity it had developed over the years. They stopped on your lips when he saw them move and made note of them before he hid.

The “predestined” reunion he believed he was ready for was stopped out of his own accord. He had good intuition for halting it when he did because it certainly was not the time. He was just impatient. 

Overhearing you deem his mistake for the wind, he sighed out of relief. He and everyone else took your words to be truthful. Deciding to call it a day after making sure you were far enough away to not see him, he left. 

Entirely unaware that even if he had spoken it in the softest of tones, you knew his voice. The voice had a familiar feeling to it but with the monotone undertones and a gruff emphasis being foreign to you, the possibility of you being wrong was there. 

Nevertheless, you become restless when you don’t receive definitive answers. That’s how you witnessed his figure depart from behind the tree. How even staring solely at his fleeting back, you noticed his change in appearance. His brown hair had grown significantly in comparison to what he was working with in high school, now styled in a bun similar to Hange’s. His previous short and lanky physique was taken over by a six-foot stature and a pure muscle frame.

Eren Yeager had been here. 

Whether you were okay with that or not, you didn’t know. 

Whether that would be the last you’d see of him, you were reluctant to admit but were aware that this interaction would delve further than unbeknownst stares. 

IMPORTANT!!

Rewriting the most recent update. Honestly, reallly disappointed with my writing on this one and the plot. I’ll still leave it up until I finish rewriting it but it’s just a heads up. Also want to preface I won’t completely change it but there will be things removed/added.

𝙖 𝙨𝙤𝙡𝙞𝙡𝙤𝙦𝙪𝙮 𝙩𝙤 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙡𝙞𝙛𝙚 𝙬𝙚 𝙣𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙝𝙖𝙙 | ᴛᴏᴊɪ ꜰᴜꜱʜɪɢᴜʀᴏ| friends with benefits

characters: toji fushiguro x gojo!reader, toji zenin x gojo!reader

summary: an initial "date" leads to an agreement that you weren't expecting to fall into.

tags: toji x gojo!reader, gojo’s older sister, pre-star plasma vessel arc/star plasma vessel arc, suggestive language (thanks to Toji, of course), explicit language, symbolism (?), NO SMUT (bare with me y'all you will get it eventually! next chapter ;) strangers to friends to ?, fluff, Yuki as your self-proclaimed wing woman, exorcising curses, jealous toji, 2nd person point of view, the first person point of view switches are intentional!

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The “date” was set to be in 3 days. Not much communication has been happening between them in that time frame: no messages and no visits to the garden. The most recent message would’ve been the day he had sent that daunting text where you’d ridicule him for being so bombastic and him deciding the plans for the “date” without your input.

Friday, 8 pm at The Turnover in Roppongi.

That was all he had given you and when you tried to ask for details of his “itinerary” he went radio silent. It was the day of the “date” and even then he hadn’t responded. Nonetheless, you couldn’t worry about the vagueness or the “date” at all. No, you had to preoccupy your thoughts with the idea of a curse, with a disfigured metamorphic-looking bird body with hands and feet that looked like talons and a waning expression on its face, that was hanging upside down on a rustic exposed pipe in what would have been the lobby of a hotel. 

The mission was pitched to you by one of the higher-ups like most missions are. They say it’s something and then it turns out to be something else. In this situation in particular the curse was supposed to be a Semi-Grade 2 at most. You had to have been 20 feet outside of the semi-salvaged hotel that, on top of a mountain that you assumed used to be a popular tourist spot, harbored the curse when you felt the energy was 5 times the amount of energy a Semi-Grade 2 curse should have.  Not enough energy to be considered a Special Grade but too much to be a Grade 1. It had to be a Special Grade 1.

“Saaveee the biiird! Leet me saavee the biird mama!”

This curse was a manifestation of a child who died trying to save a bird, that was obvious enough. It’s not rare for children to be higher-graded curses but it is certainly uncommon. The child or the loved ones must have had a surplus enough negative energy to have manifested to be this strong. It goes to show how something once so pure can become corroded in a blink of an eye. The curse was not an intelligent curse from the repetition of those two sentences. That made the job easier and be it as it may you would have exorcized the curse without alerting anyone given how secluded the location was but to be extra precautious you put up a veil.

"Emerge from the darkness, blacker than darkness. Purify that which is impure." You recited from memory having had to put up many veils in your lifetime. Traditionally, the handler that oversaw the mission would be responsible for putting up veils but per the shortage of sorcerers, they allocated handlers to lower-ranking sorcerers. Out of courtesy, they did assign you a driver to transport you to and fro but they weren’t allowed to stay as that was outside the strobe of their occupation. If you had a complaint about this, you could direct it toward the higher-ups and the graves of the befallen. 

“Let’s make this quick, you’ve been suffering long enough.” You announced the curse in vain as if it would even comprehend/respond to your words. It did react to them by leaping from the pipe toward your direction with their talons retracted ready to swipe at your body. Though it did have talons for hands and feet and had the overall appearance of a bird species it couldn’t fly. All it was using was the momentum from the leap and had you been a second too slow in reacting or hadn’t been gifted the ability of Infinity you would’ve easily been left scarred. You had dodged it with ease and appeared behind it, a perk of the Limitless technique being instantaneous movement. 

“No need for theatrics.” You ridiculed in between dodges as it continued to make advances towards you and contemplated how to exorcise it. It had to have been 5 pm and the location of where you were was an hour away from the school and Roppongi was an additional 22 minutes away from that. That’s not including the report you would need to submit. To have enough time to get everything done, you need to end this now. 

You lifted your forefinger as you concentrated your cursed energy into a ball at the tip of your finger and redirected it toward the curse. It was a technique that had taken countless attempts to perfect as the essence of its power was based on precision. You found irony in that as it was by far the ultimate tool for destruction. For a prodigy, learning/mastering the technique should have come easily but the branch that would’ve classified you as a prodigy broke the moment you opened your eyes, and the glow of the genius in your blue eyes was absent. You couldn’t use Hollow Purple or activate your Infinity to be used 24/7. Strip away everything that built up your identity and you’d be left with nothing. 

 “Cursed Technique Reversal: Red.” 

Like that, you were left with a blood-stained floor and a dismembered cursed body. Based on the strength of the curse, it had to have manifested recently. If it were a few years older and had enough experience you were sure it would’ve put more of a fight. At max, it had to have been 6 months old. A long time for a child to be left suffering.

You didn’t try to linger any longer so you pulled your phone out to contact your driver and saw that you had been inside for less than 10 minutes. When you walk outside of the building and put down the barrier the car is already there. 

The driver opened the door for you before eliciting an array of praises, “Another amazing job, Gojo! I hadn’t even reached the bottom of the mountain before you called! You’re truly incredible!” 

What’s so amazing about anything about this career? Why praise me for this? You thought to yourself and made it a point to not reply. It’s the people who understand nothing about this career that would reward you with praise. What would a non-cursor user know about risking your life for people you don’t even care for? You became a hero archetype due to genetics not out of morality.

The driver got the hint and remained silent for the majority of the ride and you were appreciative of that. You didn’t even know their name or what they looked like due to how conservative the interactions had been. You spoke only when he asked about your destination. You spent the trip trying to articulate your report and let the thought of the exiled Zenin remain rooted in the backseat of your train of thought.

The driver dropped you off and sped off in a hurry, you shrugged and began walking toward the meeting room to give your report but saw a familiar blonde woman walking from that exact direction. You had done well in avoiding social interaction all day, you wanted to conserve your social energy and you knew she was going to drain you dry. 

“Gojo!” She had caught sight of you before you even had the chance to escape. You let your shoulders drop in defeat and waited for the women to reach you. “Coming back from a mission?” 

You let out a grunt in response as you began walking away. You truly hated small talk. Scratch that, you hated all kinds of talks. You especially hated talks with Yuki Tsukumo, your forced-upon “best friend.” After high school. you spoke with her only when you saw her and you’ve blocked her number on multiple occasions. Yuki was used to your lackluster replies and took your noise as an answer.

She had something she needed to tell you but she couldn’t remember it at the moment so as she tried to rummage through her vault of memories she decided to trail behind you and try to strike up a conversation which again was met with noises on your end. At a certain point, you checked your phone to check the time and saw it was already 6 and started to speed up. The blonde being perspective as ever noticed and gasped. That woman was dramatic and usually wrong in her assumptions but this scenario just so happened to align with her delusions.

“You’re meeting someone!” She exclaimed, somehow appearing in front of you and managing to stop you in your tracks.

You were wishing on a star that your cheeks hadn’t combusted in flames at her assumptions as you asserted with a false narrative, “You’re insane. I simply want to be done with the day and not deal with you.”

It was 6 pm, the stars hadn’t clocked in for their shift while the biggest was just starting to clock out. Your cheeks were ablaze and Yuki was soaking in the expression and the implications of it.

She shook your shoulders and exclaimed a little too loud, “Oh my god, it is a date!”

You slammed your hand on her mouth while you tried looking around to see if anyone was around to hear her. Once you saw the school looked to be barren of any human life, you decided to play it safe and pull her to a secluded place behind one of the buildings to continue the conversation. Removing your hand off her mouth, you began to speak, “It’s not a date and keep your voice down. If the wrong person hears that I’d be crucified.” 

In your classification of “wrong person”, it would be anyone who wasn’t you or Yuki. Your ring finger was a hot commodity in the community so if word got out that you were seeing someone. Well, you’d rather not imagine it too much.

She ignored the latter and focused on the former as she pointed to your red cheeks,  “You wouldn’t be that red if it wasn’t a date.”

“Because it’s not.”

She raised an eyebrow at you and asked, “Is that what the guy said?”

She got you there.

You gave up on trying to deny her claims and just began to comply. You felt like a little kid who had just got caught terrorizing the corridor walls with permanent markers and now was being interrogated for it. It was even more humiliating having been interrogated by none other than that woman. I never met her but based on how you described her she reminds me of someone else I know.

You let out a noise of denial and she sighed at that. “If he says it’s a date then it’s a date. Seems pretty straightforward to me.” The blonde-haired woman insisted, shrugging before relaxing her body against the wall of the building. “Men don’t have the mental capabilities to be that complex. If they are, it’s because they are stupid not because they are by any means smart.”

You mimicked her actions before huffing out a response, “If he says anything at all it should be taken with a grain of salt.”

“Hmm, you should stop giving everything double-meaning and start taking stuff for face value, Gojo. It will save you a lot of headaches in the future.” She suggested with no actual bias towards her words. 

Perhaps it would and you should start giving people the benefit of the doubt. “I would if he was worth taking at face value. That man doesn’t have an ounce of seriousness in him.” Just not today or any other day. Maybe that suggestion would work for somebody else.

“Maybe I would agree if you told me who this mystery man was.” Yuki quipped, for no reason to help and all the reason to be nosey in your love life. She has asked you time and time again what your type is. She has guessed every kind of generic person under the sun - you would say they were too bland. She would suggest the most mysterious person that countered the moon —- you’d grow irritated and say they are too complex for someone who doesn’t care. She would describe the flashiest man with a charisma so fiery it made the stars pale in comparison —- you grew uninterested and would seek refuge on land. 

“Not important enough to mention.”

Oh, how you’d be eating your words. 

“Boo.” The woman said as she stuck her tongue out at you. She'll get it out of you eventually. Either by your admission or through word of mouth. For now, she resigned her interest in your love interest and signed on to direct your outfit.  She gave you a once over and asked, “What do you plan on wearing?”

You followed her eyes and grew curious at her words, “What do you mean? I’m going like this?”

Outside of your kimonos, which you wore daily, you wore the required Jujutsu uniform. It was tailored to the same fashion of a kimono with a slight modern take; the flared and oversized sleeves, the plunging neckline that would’ve flashed your cleavage modestly if you weren’t wearing a black tank top underneath, a thick black belt that was made to mimic an obi, and a maxi skirt hemline that hardly exposed your feet or ankles. 

The butter-haired woman was left slack-jawed and appalled. Surely, you were kidding. She had to make sure you were.

“Seriously?”

“Seriously.”

You were dressed too modestly to appeal to a modern man. Not that Yuki was one to abide by social stigmas but she needed to help her “friend” get laid. Sure, you were forced on spontaneous adventures with Yuki, all being illegal/irresponsible, but to her knowledge, you were still a virgin. All the blind dates she’d try setting you up on would result in her getting a text from the guy asking for your number since you’d “forgotten” to give it to them. You having any sort of interest in a guy was a miracle and she was going to help in whatever way she could.

“Are you free right now?” 

For you? “Not really, no.”

“Great, I still have time.” Her previous question was spoken out of courtesy. From the get-go, she was going to abduct you. She grabbed your arm and turned you around at a speed only a madwoman could achieve. 

You, a loyal abider of rules, were frantically trying to remind her of your duties. “What about my reports?! I have to turn them in before I leave!”

An imaginary light bulb shined over the woman’s head and suddenly the information she was supposed to tell you came rushing in. She gave you a cheeky smile and replied sheepishly, “Oh, forgot to mention. They got caught up with something they left a while ago.”

“You conveniently forgot to mention that!” She was too focused on trying to get to the dorms to reply to you. She didn’t know how much time she had before you had to meet this mystery man but given how eager you were to leave a few minutes ago she knew she was running on a time crunch.

She stopped before her old dorm room and fished her pockets for any tiny object she could use to shimmy her way through the lock. “I’m sure no one has taken over my dorm. I’m sure I left some clothes that you can borrow.”

“Breaking and entering is a great lesson to teach the kids.” You said as you appointed yourself as a lookout. 

Yuki looked at you unamused and countered “We aren’t teachers. We aren’t responsible for whether they see us as moral compasses.” 

It was fair enough but you would never verbally allow yourself to agree with anything Yuki Tsukumo said. Instead, you let her continue to try to unlock the door. Fortunately for you both, it didn’t take long seeing as the doorknob was older than the two of you. 

Unfortunately, Yuki was right again. The dorm appeared to be vacant but held memorabilia that would link the last tenant to the woman standing beside you. Though it was almost barren, the residual pieces of posters that were stuck on the wall via double-sided tape, the school-issued desk that had been painted black because Yuki hated the original color but due to the chipped paint and the poor paint job the original mahogany wood became visible, the latch of the window bolted down by your former principal to keep her from sneaking out; all of this remained visible. Neither one of you was the type to reminisce or get nostalgic over stuff like this. For that reason, Yuki made a beeline toward her old closet that was filled with a good selection of clothes; all of which were appropriate for a night out. Dresses that left little to the imagination, skirts that could cover half of a person’s ass at best, shirts that bordered undergarments, weapons that traditionally are called heels; any article of clothing you thought following those descriptions are most likely there. 

While Yuki rummaged through her clothes, she asked, “So where is he taking you? A dingy bar? Crappy movie? Dinner at a supposed 4-star restaurant with decent appetizers at best?” 

Every scenario felt specific and had you wondering how many bad dates that woman had been on. While she was sorting through her clothes, you made the risky choice of sitting on her old bed, praying that it wasn’t infested by any sort of bed bug. “Some restaurant in Roppongi. I think it’s called The Turnover. I haven’t heard of the place before.” You answered with your tone sounding departed from the conversation as you turned your head from side to side trying to inspect the bed for any bugs. When you feel a sensation making contact with your hand, you almost yelped expecting to see a tiny bug but instead, you were met with a tube top that grazed your hand. You look up to see the woman gazing at you as if you had grown two heads. 

“He is taking you to The Turnover? The most exclusive restaurant in all of Japan?! That’s the kind of place where rich people wear sweatpants if they want to.” The blonde explained in awe. 

This was new information for you but it must’ve not been riveting as you asked, gesturing to your clothes, “So I could go like this?”

“Are you rich by any chance?” You chose to remain quiet. The Gojo were wealthy but not on a global scale where other rich people would know who you are. 

She smirks at your lack of response and begins to narrow down potential options for you. Be it as it may, she did want you to be comfortable in what you wore; however, she did want to briefly and very briefly cross that line. Nothing too crazy and nothing you weren’t already familiar with. It was difficult to find an option from all of the clothing pieces she had but she landed on a true black sleeveless maxi dress that had gorgeous ruffled hems that laid asymmetrically on the lower half of the dress while it had an identical singular ruffled fabric piece dangling on top of the right arm; alongside that the waistline had sophisticated ruching that was certainly going to suction your figure in. She didn’t throw them at you like the dress but she did hand you a pair of black point-toe slingback pumps that had a decorative bow. As for a purse, she just handed you a black suede clutch seeing it’s the only sort of bag that was left in her closet. It was the perfect mix of classy and sexy.  It was an outfit that a femme fatale in a noir film would wear to a dinner she’d treat herself to after exploiting a man for all he has. 

She threw the dress in your face and demanded, “This. Put it on.”

You didn’t have time to argue with the woman. You could see from the dim of the sun that slightly permeated through the minimal openings of the blinds that it was nearing 7. You also didn’t bother to tell her to turn around when you started to take off your clothes and neither did she. It wasn’t anything she hadn’t seen before. 

As expected, the dress fits you. Though the original furniture was left in the dorm, there had been an absence of a mirror. From observing your figure with your eyes alone, you knew this was out of your comfort zone. All you had to go off was Yuki’s look of content at her work. 

“I didn’t leave any makeup or jewelry behind so this is the best I can do with what we have.” She surmised before glancing at her phone to check the time. “Is he picking you up or are you meeting there?”

“He didn’t mention much of anything. He just gave me the date, time, and place. I’m assuming we are meeting up there at 8.”

She let out a sigh of relief as it was 7:15 and the drive to Roppongi wasn’t much of a long one from the school. 

“Fortunately for you, I’m free for the rest of the day. I’ll take you on my motorcycle.” You paled at her offer but knew she was your only option. If you requested a driver from the school, especially one like the one you just had, there is no doubt in your mind that they would start telling people you were meeting someone. Instead of verbally replying, you dropped your shoulders in defeat and started to walk out of the room with an overly enthusiastic Yuki in tow.

Her motorcycle was in good condition and that did alleviate some fear that you had when it came to riding it. That all came crashing down when you noticed she only had one helmet.

“You aren’t going to wear one? Isn’t that illegal? What if you get stopped?” 

She had been getting ready to sit on the seat when she quirked an eyebrow towards you and asked, “What? Do you want me to wear it instead?”

“Die for all I care.” You responded as you started to place the helmet on your head. It was a foreign feeling to have to wear something like that and it was bordering discomfort but better to be uncomfortable than dead. After securing it on your head, you positioned yourself behind her and made sure to hold onto her waist for dear life. 

The woman chuckled at your response/actions but didn’t provide a retort. Instead, she revved up the engine, made sure to adjust her mirrors, and saw that everything was working fine before taking off. You were half-expecting her to be an erratic driver with no regard for pedestrians but even you could give this woman her flowers when they were deserved; she drove the speed limit, was cautious of other drivers, and managed to get you to the restaurant with 10 minutes to spare.

“Thank you for the ride. How much do you want for the gas money?” You asked as you began to pull out your wallet from your clutch. She cut you off as she fished out a small package from her jacket and gestured it towards you.

“No need. Just accept this and consider it even.” It was a pack of condoms. She had driven off and left you with a pack of condoms in the most affluent neighborhood in all of Japan. Fortunately, you had shoved them into your clutch before anyone took notice of the obscene “gift.” 

Previously, your back was facing away from the restaurant, and having turned to start walking towards it you understood why Yuki was in shock when you told her this was the place you were going. Having been thrown off by the condoms, you were now viewing the building for the first time. In all honesty, you are expecting a 3-star restaurant at best. Not a sky-rise restaurant that had passersby admiring the building from afar and not daring to get anywhere near it. If you hadn’t been invited you would’ve flocked to their side as well.

You took a deep breath to ground yourself but before you were about to enter through the automatic window-fashioned doors a whistle sounded behind you. Usually, you would’ve ignored that kind of unwanted attention but you heard familiar footsteps approach you and simply turned around to face your “date” for the night who was taking his time in appreciating your appearance. He had thought you were attractive in your kimonos but seeing you outside of traditional Japanese clothing. He was having trouble not letting his eyes wander to every part of your body that was being sucked in by the dress's fabric. If you had given him the opportunity, he would’ve had you bent over in a nearby alleyway as he drilled into you with every insatiable amount of energy he had.

While he did his lookover, you did the same for him. He traded in his compression shirt for a black dress shirt that could very well have been made with the same fit as one, a matching black tie and black tapered slacks. You had to make a conscious effort to not gulp at the sight of him. 

“Got all dressed up for our date? I’m honored you put in the effort. You’re truly living up to your nickname, doll.” He teased as toyed with the piece of ruffled fabric that dangled off your shoulder. 

“Not a date.” You affirmed, slapping his hand away from the fabric and reminding him, “You would’ve known that if you took the time to check my messages. I was promised a nice meal and that’s what I’m here for. Nothing more, nothing less.”

“I was busy trying to secure you this meal. The payout for this job was hefty so eat to your heart's content. I’m not one to let a woman pay for a meal.” He could practically see you begin to salivate at the implication of unlimited free food. 

As you entered the building, you both were met with a societally attractive man dressed in a black suit standing in front of the elevator leading up to the restaurant with a decently sized podium that had a booklet on top of it hiding the lower half of his body. He had just been done checking in a couple when he noticed you approach the podium and his pupils practically shaped themselves to be hearts.

“Do you have a reservation tonight, ma’am?” The man asked, clearly excluding Toji from the interaction. Rather than feeling offended by this, he was amused. He wanted to see how audacious this man could be.

“Yes, a reservation for two.” You caught on to this as well and made sure to emphasize the “two” but the host didn’t seem to pay any mind to it. He acknowledged Toji with an antagonistic gaze that tettered into almost provoking territory. Toji lifted a brow at this and instead of backing down the man seemed to take it as him challenging him.

“I see. What would your name be?” The man asked as he tried to be suave in his delivery but saw you to be unaffected. He coughed and caught himself, “For the reservation.”

“You won’t need it. The reservation isn’t under my name.” 

Having had enough of his fill, Toji stepped in. He wrapped an arm around your waist as if it was second nature for him and leaned forward over your shoulder to respond for you, “Toji Zenin.”

The man visibly deflated and directed you to the elevator behind you, “Right, of course. You guys can go through there and another host will seat you when you arrive.”

You nodded your head and walked ahead of Toji, who bumped shoulders with the host and whispered in the guy's ear, “Eyes shouldn’t be looking at shit that ain’t yours, kid. You wouldn’t even know what to do with a woman like that.”

Though you heard none of what was said, you did watch the host tense from the interaction and Toji walked into the elevator looking smug.

You saw his face smeared with absolute pride and had to interrogate him about the cause, “I don’t even want to guess what you told the poor guy.” 

He laughed and shrugged his shoulders, “Just told the kid he should get his eyes checked.”

You gave him an unimpressed look and corrected him, “Kid? He had to be around our age.”

He pouted like one of those easily angered mutts and barked, “Don’t care.”

When the elevator doors opened, you were greeted by another host. This one was much older than the one downstairs and also a man but seemed to have a far more professional aura to him seeing as he acknowledged the both of you and didn’t bother with unnecessary small talk.

He gave you a set of menus and sat you both in the balcony section which overlooked the whole of Roppongi, it was breathtaking and truly a view only the best of money could buy. 

“What do you say? Does this view beat the garden?” He asked in jest as he took notice of how entranced you had become in the scenery. Your evergreens were replaced with industrialized buildings and skyscrapers but it illuminated the stars so heavenly you had to verbally appreciate them in their honor.

You held a gaze to the stars that you were used to observing from the comfort of your garden. “It comes a close second but nothing comes close to those asymmetrical hedges that you cut.” Though only the location changed, they appeared to be far more extravagant than they usually were. 

“You gave me some pathetic excuse for hedge trimmers. Blame the machinery.” He defended before diverting his attention to the menu and you soon followed in tow.

As you were skimming through the hard-to-pronounce menu options, you began to wonder. Is this the place where he takes all the women he meets? It was a wandering thought you had when he first invited you out but now being in the restaurant it felt different. You weren’t curious out of insecurity or for the need to feel special. You just wanted new teasing material seeing as he had so much on you. Not tearing your eyes away from the Farro Mafaldine, you asked, “So what number does this make me?”

“Huh?” He asked, raising his eyes to meet yours.

You held contact wanting to gauge his answer more so on his expression than his words, “You’ve taken women here before, no? What number does that make me?”

His green eyes watched as your blue ones anticipated his words. He closed his menu, having already decided on a pasta variant, and answered truthfully, “Consider yourself lucky. You’d be the first. Never even been to this place before. It was recommended to me by someone I know.” 

You could retell this story to me millions of times — rework the narrative, sprinkle in additional information, hell even reinvent the story altogether. Though this man has lied about minuscule and pointless things, I chose to believe this version of the story.

You hid your surprise well as you cleared your throat to mask any emotion while letting your eyes graze seek asylum in the menu as you decided the Farro Mafaldine seemed less appetizing now, “Just know I’m not completely sold but because you are paying I’m inclined to give you the benefit of the doubt.”

“If that’s all it takes, let’s start planning our next date.” There he goes, referring to it as a date. It was almost taunting from your perspective. It was either his way or no way is how you described him to me.

The host from earlier approaches with a pen and pad in hand, and you let the topic die out. The only meal you had was breakfast but it was reduced in size because you shared it with Satoru. You needed food and fast food.

On top of a dim ambiance and stellar view, the food came out with efficiency and tasted like ambrosia. I never considered you a drinker, but you described that dinner to be on the night you had drunk far too many. The rest of the dinner was surprisingly pleasant. The usual urge to cut an outing short wasn’t present and you enjoyed being able to converse freely with him. For the most part, the conversation was driven by the prompt of 20 questions. It was all basic questions that you would know about someone — favorite color, favorite movie, favorite song, etc. A few flirty exchanges but you blamed the two cups of red wine and Toji’s natural personality for that. The night would continue even after Toji had paid for the meal as you both wandered through the streets of Roppongi.

While walking aimlessly, you happened to stumble upon a Hinokicho park that was devoid of both people and artificial lighting. All there was to illuminate the park was the radiance of the moon and stars which led you to a pond that was hidden amongst cedar and pagoda trees. 

“Wanna do something fun?” Toji asked as he watched a cast of light from the night sky appear in between the ripples of water.

You genuinely didn’t feel like letting the night end so the proposal to prolong it sounded appealing.

 “Like what?”

“Ever been skinny dipping?” 

On second thought. 

“W-What? Do you want to do that right now? What if someone sees?” He was impressed that you were more concerned about being seen by other people than by him. If you didn’t want to get undressed that was fine with him, he had an adrenaline that was fueled by the alcohol he had been drinking throughout the dinner and he needed it to be released somehow. He started to tug his tie loose, tossing it aside as he prepared to unbutton his dress shirt too, he said,  “Not much of an exhibitionist, are you? Guess I had you all wrong that night.”

“I’m cautious of my image.” You mumbled out as you wrapped your arms around yourself regretting the choice to wear a sleeveless dress. Though you mumbled he heard you along with the ringing of the cicadas and was confident in his rebuttal.

“No one is here. Let alone anyone who knows either of us. It’s just you and me.”

His words weren’t meant to soothe you, he was just stating a fact. Even if they were meant for that, it only made you all the more nervous. Especially when he had finished unbuttoning his shirt and taken off the undershirt his abs were out on full display. You had an image of how the upper half of his body would look due to his usual tight-fitted shirts but to see that image become true was something you never thought you would ever see. You saw his hand drift to his belt and you made the conscious choice to turn away from him. 

Wrong move. 

“I hope you know that doesn’t make it any better.” You heard his belt buckle unfasten and his pants drop and you were beginning to start to cash in another favor from the stars hoping this one would be tangible.

Even with your guard as indomitable as it had been, you somehow felt a breath graze your neck and the sensation of his hands ghosting on either side of your waist, you could sense the mischief in his tone as he spoke,  “Not supposed to but it should make you less mad at me.” 

“Mad at you?” His hands latched onto your sides and pulled your back into his chest as he began to walk backward to the pond, “No no don’t – Toji!” The stars were in dire need of entertainment and you had been failing to provide any for some time now. They considered this as a form of compensation. Trust, they twinkled as you bobbed your head from out of the water. 

The boisterous laughs of Toji bounced off the trees as he was doubled over at your appearance. The pond was 4ft at most yet you had managed to get drenched given how you’d fallen in. You may not have been naked but might as well have been. Your dress had already been form-fitted so with the mix of water it simply suctioned in anything that hadn’t been before like your undergarments. Your white hair melts into your skin and your suede pumps imprint an uncomfortable sensation on your feet. 

You yelled as you shivered from the added coldness of water that tattooed itself onto your body, “You asshole! I’m freezing!”

The man composed himself before answering you, “You wanted fun. That’s me making you have fun.”

“What about that was fun?! Look at me I’m all wet and you’re—“ It seems you would finally come to and take notice of the naked man in front of you that was allowing you and all of the surrounding nature to bear witness to his body. The Heavenly Pact held its end of the agreement and gifted him a body that would’ve had him confused as a mythological god. 

“You barely realized that I was naked?” He mocked as he soaked your expression of anger that he found himself searching for constantly. 

“Put some clothes on! Aren’t you cold?!” You exclaimed trying to focus your blue eyes everywhere but his direction.

You imagined he shook his head as he responded, “I’m enjoying the breeze. It’s honestly not that bad out.” Toji was desensitized to people seeing him naked. The multiple one-night stands and overall lack of care for self-image aided in his comfort in being nude. 

“I don’t care if you’re enjoying it! I don’t want to see all that!” You said using your forearm to block him from your view.

“Putting on clothes defeats the purpose of skinny dipping.” He reminded you while he leaned his body against a decently sized rock and rested his eyes, “Just relax and stop thinking.”

Stop thinking. First Yuki and now him. He seemed so tranquil and it couldn’t hurt to do the same, right? The alcohol haze could contribute to your daringness but your hand had unsuspectingly traveled to the zipper on your back and began to zip it off of you. It was stuck to your body and you had to put in extra work to take it off but when it did you placed the dress on a nearby rock that was further away from the one Toji was leaning against. The chill from earlier became much more prominent but the adrenaline was overcoming all your senses. 

If he hadn’t decided to open his eyes as a result of the water splashing your movements had made when you were beginning to take off your bra, you would’ve gained the confidence to take it off. He was aware of this due to your fingers that were heading toward the clasp of your black bra. Toji has seen different variations of bras— lacey, sheer, heavily padded, animal print, etc. It was a bra that he had taken off of women who didn’t do anything for him usually; however, he cursed himself for opening his eyes when he did. He immediately closed his eyes to pretend he hadn’t seen anything in hopes of you gaining courage.  A small wave of water splashed against his chest and he resigned himself to his plan.

“Nice try.”

He opened his eyes in defeat and allowed his gaze to be known on your figure. The shiver that coursed through you was something you blamed the weather and his viridescent eyes registered it to be the cause of that too.  He slid over to create a vacant space while extending his hand in a come over here gesture. 

“If you keep standing there, you might freeze over with the pond.” He explained noticing your hesitance.

“I’m fine.” You affirmed trying your best to not wrap your arms around yourself. “Besides I doubt too wet bodies are going to produce any body heat.”

“Doll, you’re a sorcerer, not a scientist. The combination of our body heat should be enough to keep you from freezing.” He countered as he left his hand extended and laughed when you ignored it but took up the vacant spot. You left a distance between the two of you and he scoffed, “You gotta get closer for it to work, you know.”

“I can feel it just fine from over here.” You retorted and instead of you getting closer to him, he got closer to you. He saw you were about to protest but intervened before you could.

“You’re doing it again.” 

“Doing what?” You said feigning innocence. 

“Thinking.” He replied as he wrapped an arm around your bare shoulders to secure you in place and you indeed did stop thinking at that very moment. You’ve been close to Toji before but never close enough to feel his bare chest against your cheek.

You shifted your head to lay on his collarbones instead and countered, “One of us has to do it because you sure as hell won’t. When was the last time you ever thought something through?”

He lived life pretty mindlessly and without consequence. Job offers weren’t up for debate— money is money. Going to see you in the garden was muscle memory and a force of habit. This direction that this date had taken was entirely on instinct rather than planning.  He thought about it for a moment before answering, “2 years ago, probably. When I left the clan.”

You took the “stop thinking” into consideration and immersed yourself in the conversation without worry, “It’s already been 2 years? I guess I should say congratulations on being able to survive thus far.”

You could feel the huff he let out resonating against your cheek, “You congratulate people who win awards or perform civil duties, not men like me who kill for a living.”

You didn’t disagree, “Fair but it must have been difficult having to adjust to that lifestyle, no? It is something to be impressed by.”

He didn’t want to stay on the topic and instead found salvation in the stars that had been aiding him throughout the night, “Whatever. How about you and those stars?”

“What about them?” You felt yourself smile at the opportunity to speak about them to someone. 

“I always see you looking at them. Got any kind of shitty explanation like you did with the flowers? Gonna tell me that they are the center of the universe or something?” He mocked in jest but the smile on your face remained regardless.

You sighed out in admiration, “I always found myself relating to them.”

“Kind of narcissistic to compare yourself to the stars, doll.” He joked.

“And it seems narcissistic to keep thinking you have a chance with me, Toji,” You returned and he allowed you to continue your spiel, “What I mean is people acknowledge them at face value. Yes, they are beautiful; yes, they shine brightly but what about their stories? Constellations have stories but what about the individual stars that make up those constellations?” 

You weren’t expecting him to understand your comparison. In the same way that he didn’t understand your flower analogy. You thought maybe it was a bit narcissistic to compare yourself to the same caliber as a star. However, it would seem he understood this analogy completely as he replied, “Hmm, I guess that makes some sense.”

Somehow the conversation diverted after that. You assumed it was because you spoke too much and your spiel was a little too corny. Regardless of what it was, you enjoyed the freezing pond and the man-made heater for another hour before you began to deem it too late. Toji hadn’t tried anything and remained respectful of your boundaries, understanding that you were in a vulnerable state. You also didn’t make an effort to remove yourself from him for the duration of your time inside of the pond. You hated to admit it to me but you enjoyed the comfort of being in his arms. 

Your dress was still completely drenched and you were beginning to panic at the thought of having to leave half-nude. The thought was fleeting as you felt a piece of fabric drape over your shoulders– it was Toji’s overshirt. It smelled just like him — raisin rum with an intoxicating hint of cologne. You turned to face him to see him already nearly dressed. All that was left was putting on his undershirt which he was in the middle of putting on. You watched as he looped his arms and his head through the holes and then took sight of you.

If you weren’t so stubborn to retell this portion of the story, you would’ve admitted that he smiled at you; however, you said it was an apparition of a distant smile, “Looks good on you. You should keep it.”

He approaches you and starts to button the shirt up for you. His fingers, though so scarred and rough, ghosted your skin mercifully. He buttoned nearly all of them minus the top one and huffed in contentment.

“Don’t need other people looking at what’s mine.” He states and anticipates your retaliation.

You laughed at his words and pushed him away, “Someone is going to overhear you one day and start making false assumptions about our relationship.”

He raised a brow and challenged, “Yeah? And what is our relationship? Friends with benefits?”

“That would imply that there were benefits.” You replied as you began to walk towards the section of the dry land that you had left your belongings in.

“There could be. You’re still a virgin. Don’t you want to lose it to someone who isn’t some Zenin or Kamo scum?” He suggested as he followed closely in toe.

“Need I remind you that you are still a Zenin and are very scummy.” You retaliate, not at all taking the conversation seriously and trying to collect all your belongings.

He ignored your comment and almost began to plead, “Seriously, think about it. It’s a win-win. You get laid by someone experienced and who you know and I get to fuck a really hot chick.”

“You swoon me with your words.” 

“You keep denying your attraction to me but I know the way you look at me. It’s not a friendly gaze.” It was his signature phrase when trying to convince you to admit your attraction to him. He needed you to know that he was serious about this arrangement and that he wasn’t going to take no until you heard him out. 

And he did just that. You felt yourself gulp and slowed your movements in gathering your belongings, “Oh yeah? And what kind of look would that be?”

“Like you want me to bend you over.” He said with a sultry consonance to his voice. “No need to feel ashamed because trust I want to do the same to you. Maybe even worse.”

You didn’t deny his accusations nor acknowledge them. You let it be up to interpretation but you both knew better.  

Ultimately, you sighed in defeat because, in all honesty, you didn’t want to lose it to someone you were arranged to marry especially to a relative of Toji’s. On the slim chance that you develop feelings for the man you are supposed to marry, it might benefit you to know what to do. Okay, maybe that was pushing it but the offer didn’t sound entirely bad. 

“Hypothetically, if this were to happen. Where would we do it? Though I love my garden, I am not entirely keen on outdoor sex.” You asked, finally facing the man who looked like a dog wagging his tail from side to side.

“Easy, we’ll do it at my place.” He rapid-fired as if he had the answer locked and loaded.

“Sure, that would work. Next, let’s set some boundaries and non-negotiables. If one of us disagrees with the other’s non-negotiable or if we both agree and the other dishonors it the whole thing is called off, deal?” You reasoned and knew this fantasy would not last past your first non-negotiable but Toji was resilient. “Luckily for you, I only have one.”

He nodded his head, “Shoot.” 

“My only non-negotiable is neither of us can fuck other people.”  You smirked as you saw his expression falter from the previous excited one and you continued, “We can go on dates, flirt with other people, and even kiss other people. However, neither one of us can fuck other people. If I find out you fucked another woman then this whole thing is over. Think you can handle that, womanizer?”

“You play dirty, doll.” He enjoyed fucking and disliked being tied down to something but he was willing to try. The idea of you flirting and kissing other men wasn’t a pleasant one and the idea of you fucking someone other than him irritated him to no end. You were an extremely attractive woman and there were plenty of men that would want to let you know that. Toji wasn’t insecure by this, no, he just knew if he saw that he’d—we’ll get to those stories eventually. “My non-negotiable is that we have to tell each other if we are meeting other people.”

You found that reasonable enough and nodded in agreement. As you were talking you managed to pick up all your belongings which weren’t much, just your dress and your clutch. You walked up to him and extended your hand, “Shake on it?”

He glanced at your hand and watched as his viridescent eyes darkened as they set camp on your lips, he suggested, “How about we seal the deal with a kiss? Makes for good practice.”

Though you were aware he was doing it to fulfill his selfish desire, his suggestion wasn’t bad. If you were to become friends with benefits, kissing comes with the territory and that’s by far the least daunting aspect of the whole arrangement.

You nodded again as you lowered your hand before taking a deep breath and telling him—-even though it felt like it was directed more toward yourself, “Practice. This is just practice. Don’t want you pulling anything, got it Zenin”

“Yes ma’am” is all he said before you felt his lips on yours and a hand resting in the conjugation of your neck and jaw. It wasn’t a peck nor was it a make out, it was a kiss. You were caught off guard by the new sensation and didn’t know how to react to it. All you knew is you didn’t mind it and that whatever he was doing you were trying your best to mimic it which you did earning you the sensation of feeling Toji’s scarred lips smirk into the kiss.

You pulled away but he spoke first.

“Not bad for your first kiss, doll.”

“Shut up.”

From afar, the kiss could be confused as a couple sharing a passionate kiss underneath the night sky basking in the nature that encapsulates their moment perfectly. 

The stars twinkled in glee and as I retell this I secretly do too.

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soliloquy: an act of speaking one's thoughts when by or regardless of any , especially by a character in a play.

sorry for the late update! was recently my birthday and I spent the week celebrating so kind of forgot to post lmao.

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tags:

@cococola-cocaine @justtnat @softvgold

comment to let me know if you want to join the tag list for future updates!

Possibly will upload Chapter 5 on Thursday! Sorry for not uploading last week! I decided to write this chapter to be longer to make up for that.

𝙖 𝙨𝙤𝙡𝙞𝙡𝙤𝙦𝙪𝙮 𝙩𝙤 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙡𝙞𝙛𝙚 𝙬𝙚 𝙣𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙝𝙖𝙙 | Toji Fushiguro| friendships

characters: toji fushiguro x gojo!reader, toji zenin x gojo!reader

summary: an unlikely pair form a friendship, sort of.

tags: toji x gojo!reader, gojo’s older sister, pre-star plasma vessel arc/star plasma vessel arc, Toji is enough of a warning, suggestive talks, strangers to friends, angst, fluff.

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To anyone wondering if that interaction stopped Toji from continuing the following game he had started with you, I hope that the image of Toji Zenin trailing behind you as you escape to your garden during the next social event six months later is sufficient as an answer. 

He watched your white hair try little to fight the wind as it swayed against your kimono with each step you took. He observed as you made no effort to stop his advances to get closer to you. As he had done in previous years, he began testing the waters to see how close he could get to you until you stopped him. Since that last interaction, Toji was now aware that you’ve known of his habit but even then you didn’t voice your concerns. 

In the mind of Toji Zenin, you didn’t view him as a threat. That notion irked him to no end. It was widely known that Toji was a disgrace to the Zenin name with no cursed energy to even redeem the surname. It wasn’t information that was strictly reserved to the clan as with any other clan, the fuck ups need to be acknowledged to spot who to mistreat at functions like these. 

“For a future clan leader, you are uncharacteristically okay with being defenseless.” Toji mocked as he continued to walk tread behind your figure. You knew little to nothing of the man but you had a feeling that he had a smirk etched alongside his scarred lip.

“You’re talking?” You huff out a laugh and don’t make an effort to raise your guard before continuing. “I’m not a liar, Zenin. What I said that day was true. I consider you a friend. Why would I need to defend myself?” 

“I’m sure you’ve heard of my feats. Surely, that should raise some alarm for your safety.” The feats in question were all the sorcerers he has killed in the past 3 months. The man had been undermined by his lack of cursed energy his whole life. Only a select few had acknowledged his potential. That niche collective pertains to the people who employed him. He was now trying to uncover which category you would slot into.

“All bad things, of course. You have quite the reputation, Zenin.”  You affirm his claims, searching your mind for more adjectives that have been used. It was a hot topic of discussion during the monthly elder’s meeting; Toji Zenin defected from the clan and Jujutsu society to become a mercenary: The Sorcerer Killer.

“You’re not here to kill me, are you? Friends usually don’t do that.” 

“Friends also usually know each other’s name. How about you try saying mine, doll.” 

“Doll? We’ve already gotten to the nickname stage? Should I make one for you?” Though he couldn’t see it he heard the lilt in your voice and could imagine your eyebrow raised in amusement. 

“Gotta say my name. Maybe then I’ll consider it.”

Plopping yourself in the same spot as last time, you face him, and your lips slightly parted. It was the first time you’ve seen him fully.  His appearance aligned with his lineage, the stark black hair and probing/emotionless green eyes. However, he looked nothing like his older brother Jinichi, who was an unruly man that you’ve had the displeasure of meeting on multiple occasions. The only attributes that could categorize him alongside his older brother were the scar on his lip, the fresh wound on his cheek, and his body.  If there was a word that surpassed well-built then Toji’s body was that. It was hard to discern with the baggy black sweatshirt and sweatpant set he wore but based on the muscles that peaked through the opening of the neckline, you don’t believe your assumptions to be baseless. Alongside that, he had to have been either the same age as you or older than you by a year at most.

You let your eyes fall in line with his,  “Toji.” He enjoyed how you said his name. “Your name is Toji, right.” 

“I guess we are friends.”  He huffed and followed your gaze. There you went again looking at the stars. He would never understand your fixation with them. Perhaps because all his life he had been described as anything but that. 

“So does that mean I can give you a nickname?” 

He shook his head and chuckled, “Keep dreaming, doll.” 

You let out a breath of disappointment before carrying out your usual routine of staring at the stars. The stars on duty tonight were far less than usual. You wondered what caused the shortage. Maybe some were stationed at another stretch of the hemisphere and were stationed to add an illuminating mystical ambiance to a pair of freshly weds the night of their honeymoon. You pitied the ones that shined dimly over you both. They were stuck overlooking a mercenary and a glorified puppet interacting for the first time. 

“You have a Heavenly Restriction, right?” You asked. “You were either limited or granted improvements in exchange for being born without cursed energy. What category do you fall into?”

The gamble when someone is given a Heavenly Restriction is 50/50. Some are left impaired while others are given improvements to their physical capabilities. This was what you had learned at Jujutsu Tech but you had never met anyone who possessed it. 

He rolls his eyes and the scar moved in unison with his lips. “I saw you checking me out earlier. Take a wild guess.” 

“Clarification wouldn’t hurt.” If he hadn’t been staring at you, he could have guessed that his words didn’t affect you. However, he could vaguely see the apples of your cheeks turning a faint red peeking through the parts of your hair that weren't actively in your shielding your face. 

A majority of your life had been confined to the Gojo compound. The sliver of time where you weren’t there was at Jujutsu Tech and the other students there were hardly anything to gawk at. Even at social events like the one you were escaping from, all the men looked the same. Average height, average build, below-average face, and infant-level intelligence. It’s safe to say that Toji was nothing like that. 

In addition to all the men looking the same, they also all looked at you the same, a piece of meat that would be best served on their bed. The man beside you held that same expression when he looked at you. It was an expression that was so natural for him that you wanted to believe that it was second nature for him. You don’t think you would mind if it was reserved just for you.

In layman’s terms, you found Toji Zenin unfathomably attractive. 

“Oh, is the heir of the Gojo clan blushing? What a lucky day.” He teased as he moved his body to be facing you. “The rumors surrounding you were wrong. You seem to be far more expressive than they make you out to be. At least with me, you are. Is there any reason for that, doll?”

A womanizer, you thought to yourself. This man had to be a womanizer with how seamlessly he could convert an unsuspecting conversation into a suggestive one. He certainly had the looks and personality to become one if he wasn’t one already.

“Do you want them to be true?” You challenge blatantly ignoring his other question, setting aside the brief embarrassment as you cast a gaze through your peripheral at the man. 

“Nah.” He shrugs as he replies. “You’d just remind me of that pain in the ass Naobito and that’s not what I come here for.” He had heard his clan describe you as a woman of few words with a silence that makes up for them. It was hard to picture as you have been anything but that with just this interaction as his evidence.

“So what did you come here for?” You asked the questions that have been circulating in your mind for years. “Why did you start coming here? This isn’t a place that many people can find. So how did you find it?”

The garden as previously described was deserted before you found it. No one knew of this haven besides you and Satoru. It was hidden further out of the Gojo compound and you could make the argument that it was outside the Gojo compound boundary. 

You truly did not beat around the bush, “You curious? The answer is gonna disappoint you.”

“I don’t have any expectations on what the answer could be so go ahead. I can assure you the reason as to why I’ve allowed you to follow me here will also disappoint you.” Your voice was relaxed but the way you formulated your sentences remained formal. Even in the way you sat; posture upright, hands placed neatly in the space between your legs, and eyes permeating through his soul. 

He racks his mind looking for a choice of wording as he props his head with his knuckles while his elbow is nuzzled into his knee supporting his position, “I dunno. You looked interesting and I followed. Nothing more to it than that.”  He was never good with words.

As he said before, he expected some form of disappointment to show on your face but as you did so well you did the opposite. For the first time, you smiled at him. Well, if it could even be considered that. He would describe it as quaint and faint. It was discernible to know that it wasn’t shown often as it felt foreign to see on your face but he didn’t seem to mind it. “That makes me feel better about my reasoning.”

Tucking your knees into your chest as you laid your head upon them, you confessed, “I noticed you the first time you started following me here. I thought you would approach me but you never did. I’m not one to start a conversation either so I didn’t make much of an effort to approach you either. It would’ve stayed like that if Satoru hadn’t noticed you that day.”

“You were just going to continue to let me watch you? Is that some sort of kink for you? Think they call that being an exhibitionist.” This man watched as visually recoiled at his words and sent him a pointed look.

“And wouldn’t that make you a voyeur?” Those three years at Jujutsu Tech were very informative. All thanks to Yuki Tsukumo, a failed mission of yours is how you would categorize her. She was supposed to be the Star Plasma Vessel for Tengen but somehow between the beginning of the mission and taking her to Tengen’s barrier you decided to offer her a second chance at life. The downside would be she had to become a student at Jujutsu Tech and become a sorcerer for the duration of her time as a student. Due to that act of kindness that nearly stripped you of your place within your clan,  Yuki made it her mission to expose you to life beyond the strobe of Jujutsu society: underage drinking, clubbing, blind dates, and adult content that came in all forms. Anything that could leave the elders of the clan in a catatonic state if they ever heard of it. 

“Look at that, we're the perfect match. We should test that compatibility of ours out one of these days” Toji thoroughly enjoyed the fact that he was able to unlock multiple expressions/emotions from you. In each passing moment, he felt the need to up the ante to see how far he could go before you would consider him to be crossing your boundary.  

You were none the wiser. Under other settings, there would be an obvious power imbalance between the two of you. You, who was put on a pedestal within the Jujutsu world, and then Toji, who was degraded for his lack of curse energy. However, the power imbalance between the two of you now was different. 

When you turned your face to offer a retort you were greeted with his face only a few inches away from yours. You don’t know when or how or if you were distracted by the conversation but at some point he had reached you. His eyes glided over your face and inspected every detail of it: your eyes that followed his own, your nose that was twitching in confusion, cheeks that still had leftover red, and your glossy lips. You noticed they stayed focused on your lips longer and he noticed that he had made a bad habit of doing that.

Momentarily you allowed yourself to wonder what it would feel like to let him close the gap but didn’t let it linger for too long. You instead focused on the fresh wound on his cheek that you had noticed earlier. It was merely a cut but it bothered you. Lifting your finger to touch the wound, leaving the man's eyes no choice but to deviate from your lips and follow your fingers. 

“You’re a careless man.” is all you say as you begin to use the reversed cursed technique to heal the minor wound. It was completely unnecessary on your part. A bandaid would’ve worked just as well. It could have been a fluke but you felt compelled to help him. 

Your hands were rough due to years of strenuous training yet they held a sort of gentleness alongside it. You felt his green eyes watching you closely but didn’t let them affect you as they had previously. At least that’s what you wanted to believe. Tapping gently along the cut, you say,  “I would ask where you got it from but since you haven’t answered my last question I won’t even try.”

“Tough day at work.” Toji wasn’t going to verbally tell you that he had just killed a man even if it was now common knowledge that his trade of work wasn’t formidable. You didn’t ask further questions upon that answer. You could see the curse residuals in the cut, the hint of blood in his smell, and the faint imprints of dried-up sweat on his skin. He knew you knew what he had done and there was nothing that you could do but silently acknowledge it.

“You’re letting me tread very close to you, doll. Wonder how close you’ll let me get next time.”  He teased as you felt his breath graze your lips. The proximity between the two of you felt far too intimate. 

You shook your head, removing your finger from his cheek briefly before trying to place it in the same position while activating Infinity. It would be the first time you had activated it throughout this entire interaction. Visually your finger looked as if it was touching his cheek but physically the man could feel the absence. Smirking slightly at the man, you affirm, “I wouldn’t get my hopes up. That was the last time.”

A friendship between two liars, the perfect match. 

𝙖 𝙨𝙤𝙡𝙞𝙡𝙤𝙦𝙪𝙮 𝙩𝙤 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙡𝙞𝙛𝙚 𝙬𝙚 𝙣𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙝𝙖𝙙 | ᴛᴏᴊɪ ꜰᴜꜱʜɪɢᴜʀᴏ| first times (18+ MDNI)

pairings: toji fushiguro x gojo!reader, toji zenin x gojo!reader

summary: the first time you were close enough to see the stars.

tags/genre: toji x gojo!reader, gojo’s older sister, pre-star plasma vessel arc/star plasma vessel arc, Shiu Kong cameo, suggestive language (thanks to Toji, of course), explicit language, SMUT (if that makes you uncomfortable please do not read this), symbolism (?), satoru being a little brat (are we surprised?), sibling bonding, strangers to friends to ?, fluff, 2nd person point of view, the first person point of view switches are intentional!

warnings: 8.5k word count, rated M (18+) for language and sexual scenes, male masturbation, allusion to female masturbation, vaginal sex, male dom, fem sub, virginity kink (if you squint), praise kink, breath play, brat themes (barely), handjob (fingering), oral (fem rec.), teasing (this is toji were are talking about), sweet talk, dirty talk, pet names (doll and pretty girl are the extent of it), semi-edging, missionary, safe-sex (they used a condom), titty sucking.

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Your first time was in the garden underneath the blazing lights of the stars and the judgmental gaze of the moon with the man you loved most.

That’s how you retold it to me when I became a teenager and told you I was interested in dating. You stretched the importance of communication in a relationship. Your exact words were, “Make sure they know it’s a relationship! A lot of people assume things! Oh, and use protection!”

But that wasn’t the truth. At least, not the way that Yuki told me about it.

You lost it in a dingy apartment in Shinjuku with the night sky hardly peaking through the openings of the blinds. The man you lost it to, well, I can’t speak on that. 

He was an impatiently patient man. He had texted you his address soon after your date and added a few suggestive words to truly hone in on his desire to see you again but under an unrestrained environment. He left it at that and let the waiting game begin. His mind was filled with the chances of winning but in a small subsection (that’s as much as he’d ever admit to a living soul) of all that, he questioned what you’d be doing in your part of your world.

He would be lying if he didn’t have you as a constant in his mind since that day; to be more specific, your body had been getting him hard at just the thought of it. The silhouette of your body in the dress alone would have left an impactful impression on him but the opportunity to see you nearly naked and have the images he had fantasized about be confirmed. 

He envisioned you stuck in a circle of Elders dictating the state of their society and you idly listening in. They’d mention your role in their hierarchy as the face of the “New Era” and implant their belief systems into you through innuendos. You’d play the attentive archetype but secretly rather be in your garden or seeing that you enjoy spending time with your sibling, you’d think about taking Satoru to eat at his favorite place because who were you without trying to appease someone who wasn’t yourself? 

He also foresaw that after all of your tasks, you’d decompress in your garden. You’d be trying to do your daily routine of inspecting for weeds and checking what didn’t and did need watering. In between that routine, you’d somehow get reminded of him while taking in his failed attempt of carving out a snake in one of the hedges due to his reckless craftsmanship. You’d stifle a smile but you and those petunias that circled the surrounding area knew that you found amusement in it and though in the moment you cursed him to hell for trying to create something so hideous you never urged him to fix it. 

Afterward, you’d get frustrated thinking about him and believe that the frustration that needs to be released is through training. You’d have no one around to train with and take out your frustrations on the nearby trees surrounding the training ground. After attempting to release variations of Red and Blue on the trees you’d come to grow even more frustrated at your countless failed attempts at being able to use it continuously. So you’d switch the practice to something you were good at, fighting close range. This would need the help of a helpless punching bag and you’d try to exhaust all of your frustrations in a concoction of varying different punches and kicks. 

You’d take a shower to wash away the incessant thoughts of his presence. Your hands would massage in the shampoo to provide relief but it would remind you of the times he’d brush through your hair to find a strand to tug on. A tug, just one tug. That’s what you’d start with when you tug on one of your white strands. It wouldn’t feel the same as when he’d do it and that notion would certainly irk you. You’d continue your routine of washing your body but you’d make the mistake of closing your eyes when you brushed over your pebbled nipples. Curiously you’d grope them with the image of his exposed body in the pond cemented into the forefront of your mind making it easy to imagine his hands instead of your own. The hand that wasn’t busy with your breast would wander down to give attention to your needy clit that had been giving you clues as to what the target of your frustration had been. 

This is the scenario that Toji found himself jerking off to late at night in his bedroom after fighting the urge to take home a woman from the bar he had been at. He cursed you for this. If you hadn’t made the sole rule be not fucking anyone else, he’d be having his dick blown right now. You’d have no problem with that rule. That rule was a test and Toji was one boner away from breaking it. 

It was pathetic how he was holding out for someone who he hadn’t even felt yet. 

It had been a few days since he had last seen you and his body was not reacting to it well. He thought you would’ve been crawling to him by now. He pumped his shaft faster in frustration that the scenario he had imagined wasn’t even a probability for you. You had gone your whole life without sex, what would be a couple of days, weeks, or months added on of not experiencing it? 

He let out a few pumps before he came and let his other arm fall over his eyes while he tried to even out his breath. The pleasure that should’ve come along with it was nonexistent. Instead, he made the mistake of letting his mind flash an image of you again. 

He would spend the rest of his night restless and sore.

The next day he had to clear his mind through means that keep him sane.

There he was in a gambling pub in Shinjuku trying to make use of his money by trying to expand on it. It was also his unhealthy way of killing time as he anticipated your call. His gambling feats were enough to forget about all the other times he had lost money. He had placed his bet for the horse race that was the gamble of the day and ordered himself some takoyaki. The pub was situated on the outskirts of Shinjuku and was a hole-in-the-wall place. The pub was littered with all walks of life – a salaryman that is using gambling as a salvation, a group of construction workers who were there for lunch and had bet the lowest amount possible as they treated it as a game, a pair of middle-aged men that didn’t want to go home to their wife and kids, and then the majority were questionable characters that were stereotypical to the environment.

If Toji were to choose between the aforementioned list he would say he was a mix of them all. This information was based on observation and had a high possibility of it all being false but Toji didn’t plan on finding out. No, he is going to take his profiling as gospel and allow himself to be right. They were the least of his worries after all. The horse he bet on was advancing and the money he put in looked like a sure win. 

From the corner of his eye, he saw the door to the pub open and knew from the suit and the stench of cigarettes that approached him who it was. Sipping on his fountain drink of choice, he huffs out a laugh and announces,  “Was under the impression you were embarrassed by me, Shiu. You always restrict our meetings to over the phone so what’s with the sudden appearance?” 

Shiu Kong, a 24-year-old Korean national and former detective somehow found himself in Japan as a handler for mercenaries. Toji met him at a pub similar to the one they were in 2 years ago but not by coincidence. Shiu had seen him a few times before approaching him but observing him get into a bar fight and his blatant disregard for others made him approach him with the offer of becoming a mercenary. 

“Unfortunately, you’re hard to miss.” The man lamented referring to the window that was directly in front of him and the man’s large silhouette. He walked closer to the table and spectated the horse race that was projected on the screen and made his bet with himself that Toji would lose. The gamble was that if Toji lost he’d reward himself another pack of parliaments and if he won he’d quit smoking.  

“Plenty embarrassed of you but I just happened to be in the area and saw you through the window. Decided to cut out the middleman and fill you in on the job in person.” He explained while he searched one of his pockets for a staple of his image, a cigarette, and a lighter. Digging out both he exhaled, “Might find some entertainment watching you blow a shit load of cash in one go.”

“You’re wasting your time. I might not even bother with the job after I win this one. Bet 8 million on that Bronco and heard from one of the guys here that he’s a sure win.” Toji assured, offhandedly directing his chopsticks toward a sleazy-looking bald man across the pub.

“Yeah?” he asked in disbelief as he pulled out a seat next to his delusional client, “Should you be taking advice from a man who’s betting against you?”

No, he shouldn’t but he could always leave the man a generous message if he did decide to play dirty. Regardless if the man had “reassured” him that his bet was solid, Toji felt confident in his bet. He contributed his confidence to the outlook of his week. He was hoping that the biggest star in the sky was as much in favor of him as it had been on that date. Again, your image manifested in his mind causing him to try to remain neutral and adjust himself discreetly under the table. 

He returned his gaze to the TV while he was picking up his set of chopsticks when he saw the announcement that his horse had lost. Out of frustration, he had cracked them with the emotion that had manifested in the force he held them in. He stood up from his seat and scoured the pub for the man with his eyes. He focused his eyes on where had been earlier and saw only the food he had been eating left.

“Coward”, he mumbled as he plopped himself back on the stool and pulled out another set of chopsticks from the canister on the table, he grumbled, “How much is it and when do I have to do it?”

Puffing out the smoke, he taunted thoroughly amused with how the situation worked out for him, “Trying to make another quick buck after this? Employers are going to start paying you a salary with how frequently you are asking for jobs.” 

“If it’s anything short of a million they can shove that salary offer up their ass. I have to force you to negotiate to even get half the amount the jobs are worth.” He swallowed and drank from the fountain drink that he had refilled multiple times with no plans of paying the refill fee. His most recent job payout was a rare one, usually, the payout for his jobs is between 10-50k. The employers never understood the value or cost of a life. Why would they? If they were never the ones doing it. Rich people had money to blow but not the faintest idea what it’s worth was.

Pulling a seat next to the enormous man, he lets a chuckle escape, “God forbid, a 22-year-old survives on a million a month. Your gambling is going to leave you on the street eventually and don’t expect as your handler I’m going to offer you my house to crash at.”

Plopping another takoyaki ball in his mouth as he watched the horse he betted on in the lead, he jauntily answered, “As long as the jobs roll in we are both in the clear of that ever happening.”

Call Toji any negative adjective (trust, I have some of my own) but he was diligent with his work. He was the highest mercenary in demand in all of Japan with how efficient he was with his commissions. Employers appreciated that all he asked was the lump sum and the general details of the job. Morals were not a driving force in any particular aspect of being a mercenary, at least that’s how Toji perceived his career path. 

Shiu nodded and vaguely detailed, “All these people want is for it to be done by the end of the month.” 

While Shiu began to debrief him vaguely on the job, Toji felt a beep in the pocket of his jeans. His contact list consisted of the man in front of him and the woman he had eagerly anticipated to be inside of. He could’ve groaned out of relief at this revelation. From briefly listening in on the job description, it seemed like a pretty standard job.

Finishing the last sips of his drink and chewing on the last ball of takoyaki, he grunted as he stood up from his seat, “Got it. Forward me the details in a text or something.”

“You’ve been in a rush the past couple of days, Zenin. What other unhealthy habit of yours have you been indulging in?” He asked to take a draw from his cigarette while stuffing one of his hands in his pocket. With how long they’ve known each other, he’s hardly ever seen him rushing to places. Toji lived on the ideology that he had all the time in the world and he didn’t care much for how he spent it. Now comparing this ideology with how he had been acting lately, the former detective’s interest had peaked.

“Nothing that you would care about.” He replied as he put on his jacket. He threw some cash on the table and patted his handlers back as he made his way out of the pub. 

“Thanks for that restaurant recommendation, by the way.”

Shiu watched as his associate walked through the doors of the establishment and smirked to himself. Getting up from his seat and throwing away the trash Toji had left behind he makes his way to a nearby smoke shop with his head held high and mentally thanking him for his misgivings.

No, thank you, Shiu thought as he handed the cashier his money.

———————————————————-----------------------------------------------------------------

Weeds are grown out.

[image attached]

The text alongside him reaching the garden to see you fully clothed, in baggy jeans and an even bigger knit sweater with an annoyingly yellow garden apron on top of it all with that brat of a brother beside you, well, color his disappointment.

Irony befell him as he found himself going back to his old routine of trying to go unnoticed by you guys. He must’ve been rusty because it didn’t take long for your blue eyes to find his hiding spot. You nodded your head in acknowledgment before turning your attention back to the miniature version of you that was inches away from terrorizing a flower. If he hadn’t known he was your brother, he could have passed off Satoru as your son. 

You slapped his wrist away causing him to yelp in pain and sheepishly grin at being caught. You looked at him unamused and demonstrated how to properly pluck a flower.

“You are too rough on such delicate organisms, ‘Toru. You have to treat them with care and love–” He brought his hands up mimicking your speech and guessed the next words you were going to say, “Because they feel it too blah blah blah.” 

He stared boredly at how you plucked the flower from the stem rather than from the root and didn’t notice how your method was any better than his.

“Feel stuff, my butt. Why care for something so weak? They don’t even do anything.”  You heard him mutter and were growing irritated at his attitude. Normally, you’d hear complaints about his attitude from his retainer and any other unlucky person who crossed his path. You’d reprimand him but his behavior never was bad when he was with you. He’d be whiny and pouty but that was the extent of it. This was unusual.

“Why do you care for the teddy bear that I gifted you? Why do you care for the toys that you play with?” You asked, placing the flower you had plucked in the pocket of your apron.

He answered as if it were obvious, “Because you got them for me.”

“But they don’t do anything, so what value do they bring you? You wouldn’t care if I threw them away, right?” 

“I wouldn’t care. You could buy me new ones.” This kid was audacious as he stared up at you with the cheekiest grin. 

This kid knew his strengths and Toji could applaud you for resisting the urge to enforce corporal punishment. 

You scoffed, “I would? What gave you that idea?”

Satoru wrapped his arms around your waist and snuggled into the embrace he had created. “Look at this face! You can’t say no to this!” He cooed, shining his eyes to yours that dulled in comparison.

You shook your head with a laugh, warming up to his antics, before creating some distance. You plucked two flowers out from nearby; hyssop and heliotrope. 

Crouching down to his height, you explained, “You don’t know the meaning now but I hope once you find this interesting enough that one day you’ll understand.” You threaded the flowers in the crevice behind his ear, brushing a few strands of hair out of the way to properly display them.

Smiling at your work, you confessed, “You are annoyingly cute and sometimes I wish you didn’t know that but that’s not why I buy you those things.”

Pointing to the flowers behind his ear you said, “Those flowers are important because they have meaning.”

“Huh?” Your brother's face contorted in visual confusion, unable to grasp the point you were trying to make.

“Satoru means “to know.” Your name has meaning and lets people know how to address you. It reveals to people the kind of person you are from that alone. It’s what makes you a person.” You recall fondly on the day you were given the honor to name him. Your parents were so preoccupied with the revelation of birthing a user of the Six Eyes that they had forgotten to give him a name. The responsibility then had been passed to you. His birth came before you had thought of baby names for your hypothetical future child but keeping in line with your unoriginality Satoru was the first name to come to mind.

“These flowers may look weak based on appearance but many hold toxic properties that could kill something based on impact or consumption. Assuming that something is weak makes you the weak one in a situation and inevitably leaves you at a greater disadvantage. It could lead to your death.” You explained as you pointed to a patch of lantana, bitter nightshade, and mountain laurel; flowers with beautiful exteriors but poisonous compositions. 

Satoru groaned but made no effort to take out the flowers you’d given him, “If I wanted a life lesson, I would’ve stayed with Yoichi.”

Being compared to his retainer made you recoil. You hadn’t meant to turn a sibling bonding day into a day of lectures. The world after the ignorant closings of childhood is nothing but continuous put-to-use life lessons. You’d rather give him insight into his destiny as the strongest than further inflate the propagated ego that the masses had given the boy that convinced him that he was invincible. 

“You are welcome to go back to him if this bores you so much.” You are met with silence and that only elicits a sigh from you. You announced, “Let’s call it a day. I have some matters to attend to and Yoichi is most likely searching for you.”

In truth Satoru wasn’t bored, he just wanted you to spend time with him. Without the lessons, without being at home, and without anything or anyone else to worry about. You were his moral compass and anything you’d say he’d follow. His attitude was directed toward the retainer he had been trying to dodge all day

Satoru’s voice called out behind you, “It’s not boring! Tell me about those! They look kinda funky, what do they mean?”

You turned around to see him pointing at a patch of weeds. You giggled walking over to him and ruffling his hair, “Those are called weeds and they mean that I need to pluck them out in order for the other flowers to stay alive.”

“Can I help you with that one day?” He asked, unknowingly robbing Toji of his side hustle.

“Of course.” You smiled when you leaned down to place a kiss on his head, “You can go ahead of me. I’ll see you later.”

“Be nice to Yoichi!”

“I’m always nice!” He stuck his tongue out as he ran off passing the tree Toji had been hiding behind. He walked out once the kid was outside of earshot and made his way to an expectant you.

“To what do I owe the displeasure, Zenin?” You asked, patting your hands onto your apron.

Gesturing his head to the fading body of your body, he confronts, “Was here to clock in but instead saw you interviewing someone for my job. Did I mention that I work better alone?” 

You laughed, “Guessing that I was interviewing for a new worker rather than a replacement is audacious. I’ve been giving you warnings about how you handled my hedges and you never seem to listen.”

“I express artistic freedom.” He shrugged, “What do they say? Art is in the eye of the beholder.” 

You chuckled then teased.“As I’ve said time and time again, you need better eyes.” 

Walking up the array of hedges that had been brutalized by Toji’s craftsmanship, you inquire, “Alright, what is this one supposed to be?”

What you had been pointing to were two hedges that you had thought looked like either a yin and yang figure or– actually, no that was your only guess. None of his pieces have ever looked easy to understand. You suppose he could make the argument that’s the point of art so instead of voicing that you let it remain a thought.

“Obviously that’s supposed to be a lion fighting a tiger.” He claimed with certainty.

You raised a brow, “They have stories?”

You didn’t think Toji had the capability to be creative or thoughtful. His life was based on thoughtless behavior, it was the basis of your friendship. Sure, the portrayal he was going for was violent but the thought did render you temporarily speechless. Thinking about it more, what kind of hobbies did Toji have? What kind of things does he like? Does he listen to music?

“You’ve said it yourself. Everything has meaning. Isn’t that what you were trying to tell that brat?” If you had been familiar with his bashful tells, you would’ve noticed how he refused to make eye contact with you when he answered and the tips of his ears went red.

“By the way, if that’s how you talk during sex too I might have to rethink our deal. Unless you're moaning during it then by all means continue.” He mocked, naturally reminding you of the agreement you had made almost a week ago that had been constantly replaying in your mind.

You rolled your eyes, feeling the incessant jabs at you today to be unfair, “You’d be able to get those sounds from me? I’d like to see you try.” 

His hands found their respective places at each side of your waist, pulling your ass into the outline of his hardened member as he breathed into the shell of your ear, “You could find out. We still haven’t put the point of this deal to trial yet.” 

“You’re vetoing my analogies during sex but that proves otherwise.” You rebuke, restraining the noise that wanted to come out from the impact. Remaining in his hold any longer, you would have let him take you right then and there. When you did get out of his touch, you heard him groan and felt the effects of it go straight to your core.

“I also remember mentioning that I don’t plan on losing it in the garden.” You calmly remind, trying hard to deny the throb in between your legs.

“I haven’t fucked anyone in a week. I’ve been maintaining my end of the deal. It’s now your turn to maintain yours. I was under the impression that you’d be one of the better pussy I’ve been in.”  He said in annoyance, growing tired of your game.

You didn’t necessarily have any proof to prove that he had been lying but you also had no proof that he had been telling the truth. You shrugged, not understanding how that had anything to do with you, “Whether I am or not, that’ll be up to you to decide.”

“Yeah, and when is that gonna be? It’s been nearly a week, doll. My patience is running out.” 

And it truly was. After jerking off to an imaginary scenario and sporting one to the thought of you, he could only endure so much. An ironic predicament for a man who has a Heavenly Pact that enhances his senses and his physical strength.

It must be your Gojo instincts because you felt pleasure in having something over the outcasted Zenin. 

“Tomorrow. I’ll give myself to you tomorrow.” You stated, making it seem like a less than thought out decision when in actuality you had this decided from the moment you had sent that text. 

“In the meantime, if you want to keep your job.” You handed him the hedge clippers, “Fix my hedges."

The rest of the time, it was a comfortable quiet with the noise of your collective pensive with the thoughts of tomorrow above all else.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The address in his text led you to a wear-for-tear apartment complex on the outskirts of Tokyo nearing Shinjuku. It was enveloped with nearby liquor stores, gambling pubs, drunkards, and arguing couples. It worried your driver to leave you alone in such a place so much that he had asked to wait for you out of concern for your safety but you waved him off without a second thought. The excuse you had used was that you were meeting up with an old colleague on work matters. He had been hesitant but he obeyed and drove off leaving you in front of the disarray. The environment is very well aligned with where you had imagined Toji would live. Given the amount of money that Toji was given in his jobs, he must’ve spent it all on a continuous streak of failed gambling bets and couldn’t afford to pay rent in a better place. You couldn’t even imagine the structure or the furniture he had in his apartment. You felt that it could have been the affluent possessions or black-and-white essentials. 

You let those thoughts linger as you made your way up the flight of stairs to his apartment. Each step was louder and more concerning than the last. The noise of cars passing by and various sirens were heard clearly throughout the motel-style infrastructure of the apartment.

When you arrived at his door, you felt the reality of the situation sink in. Your virginity wasn’t something sacred to you. As a teenager, you weren’t interested in any guy that much to want to lose it to them. You wished you had caved and just lost it to one of the many guys Yuki had sent your way. Due to your high standards, you’ve landed yourself in a situation that was more than you bargained for. You’re stuck with the option of Toji Zenin, the embodiment of sex.

You let your knuckles graze the door believing if you left them there for a while it would give you the courage to knock. The meandering thoughts were pushed aside once you lifted your knuckles to knock and felt your stomach twisted up into knots. You vaguely heard thuds and things opening and closing from the interior and felt the knots in your stomach tighten. 

He opened the door with relatively the same image that you had engraved in your mind; nothing but a towel around his neck and low hanging plaid red and black pajama pants that visibly displayed his defined v-line. Your blue eyes knew not to linger and went to search for his but found them fixated on your mouth. You’d have to address that habit of his eventually. You took that as your cue to speak.

“H-Hey.” 

Pathetic, you thought to yourself. It had only been a few hours ago that you held the power in the situation. Seeing a preview and what you’d be seeing soon, you forfeited any semblance of power that you had left. Pushing your way through the door, you reiterate, “Where’s your bedroom?”

Entering his apartment, your suspicions of what it would look like were semi-confirmed. There were no luxurious items but it was filled with household essentials like a couch and TV. It was also barren of any personality aside from a bar cart that had looked to be untouched.  

“Straight to the point? I appreciate taking into account how cruel you’ve been towards me.” He grinned at your flustered state. 

“Shut up, asshat. I just want to get this over with.” You barked back, walking aimlessly in his apartment aiming to find the door that led to his bedroom.

“It’s the first door to the left. You can wait there for me. I’ll be out soon” He called out as he made his way back into the bathroom to continue his night routine that you undoubtedly disrupted.

You entered the bedroom and were surprised to find that it was cleaner than you had imagined it to be. Much like the living room, it only held the essential furniture needed to distinguish its purpose. After assessing the room for what it was, you situated yourself on the bed with your hands gripping the skirt of your kimono. 

“You still have your clothes on?” You could hear the disappointment from his voice and as you turned to see him his face matched the tone of his voice. His body leaned against the doorframe, his appearance the same as it had been when he had opened the door.

You groaned, “At least try to pretend to not be disappointed.” 

“You preach that speaking the truth is important to your brother but when I do it you draw the line.” He said, referring to the day you had acknowledged his existence for the first time. He sits next to you, leaving a good distance in between, but the scent of his shampoo is so intoxicating that he might as well have been millimeters away.

“For someone who partakes in sex as often as you do, you should know that talking about relatives beforehand is a serious turn-off and not a form of sex talk.” You chastised with no merit to your words.

He looked thoroughly unimpressed by your comment and rebuked it, “We haven’t even started and you’re already questioning my skills.”

The foundation of your knowledge of sex came from sources like porn and Yuki that were classified as the same; dramatized and romanticized. Another source was Toji but the thought of him having been with other women doesn’t entirely sit right with you at the moment. 

“So how do you do this?” You asked, not entirely aware of how to initiate it. 

He loathed verbal communication if it wasn’t necessary. He was a firm believer that people can understand from physical cues alone. Therefore, he used his movements as a response. One of his hands maneuvers its way to the small of your waist, pulling you to where your knees touch. Having you secured where he wanted you, he reached his vacant hand to cup the underside of your jaw and licked his lips before consuming yours. Similarly to the first kiss you shared at the park, it was short and sweet. He pulled away before you could even reciprocate finding your lips searching for him.

He smirked and guided, “We’ll start with this and then we can work your way up to it.” 

Your lips hovering his and the scent of your strawberry chapstick lingering was not going to do it, he had to taste them again. So he did, working his mouth against yours and licking away the temptation of the strawberry chapstick. Unlike the first time, you had managed to catch on faster. You situated your hands on his shoulders to stabilize yourself but still felt unsteady. It wasn’t until you threaded your fingers into his hair that you felt secure.

He tugged on your lower lip to gain access but you weren’t one to back down easily. You weren’t the first to deny him and he had learned how to bypass brats like you. With his hand that had still been on the small of your back, he moved it lower to give your ass a quick tap causing you to gasp and for his tongue to claim your mouth.

Trying to win a battle of strength with Toji was a pathetic effort and after what felt like forever but was only a few seconds, you had given up on trying to win. 

“What am I supposed to do?” You whispered in earnest but the delicacy in your voice had translated in his head to something sensual in his ear. He withheld the groan that was threatening to leave his throat and opted to busy himself by placing one of his palms on the underside of your jaw to have you facing him as he brushed pieces of hair from your face. 

He brushed his lips over your own as he spoke breathlessly,  “You don’t gotta do anything, doll.”

He kissed you one final time before descending towards the valley on your neck and collarbones. His impatience waned with each descending kiss he’d leave on your body. Some parts earn attention while other parts yearn for it. The marks he left left him satisfied until he encountered the hemline of your kimono blocking the visage of your breast. 

“Sit up.” He instructed, helping guide you up while also loosening the obi from your waist in the process allowing your body to be exposed for him to see.

He had been complaining about you essentially blue balling him for over a week but he had no intention of having you work. Not tonight. Tonight was all about you and he was going to let you know that. 

Understanding what he was trying to do, you attempted to cover yourself with the fabric with your face flushing in the process. However, your attempt to fall lackluster in execution with your breast is now enhanced by your crossed arms. 

“Don’t just stare.” You muttered, suddenly feeling small – a feeling that did not come naturally to you.

“You’re just s’pretty. Hard not to.” The effects of his praise manifested differently, your upper half illuminating your cheeks in bright pink while the lower half hiding in your core.

Your pose and your expression had him experience a sexual high he had never been able to achieve with any other woman. A sculptor like Brancusi could feel,see, and anatomically understand your body but he could never be able to sculpt it in a manner that remained faithful to your essence. 

He took hold of your clothes and tossed them in the same direction he had your panties. You were fully bare but unlike earlier, you felt a surge of confidence at his dark green eyes morphing away from its former greed hue.

“Come on, now’s not the time to get shy with me.” He laughed before latching his mouth onto your breast bringing out a moan that had yet to be released from you. His tongue lapped, swirled, and tugged on your nipple with expertise while his other hand replicated his tongue's movement effortlessly. You tried covering your mouth in an attempt to muffle the noises that were fighting to come out but Toji took quick notice and moved it to situate back into his terrain of hair..

“I wanna hear those sweet noises of yours, doll. Let them out. You can try covering up how I’m making you feel but I know.” He urged you on before taking the hand that had been toying with your nipple and using one of his fingers to hook onto your panties and move them aside to rub across your slit and in doing so pick up how wet you had become from just from touch. Your lips were sealed shut but your hips bucked against his touch, trying to catch the sensation again. 

Slipping his fingers inside his mouth to suck up you up. He stuck his tongue out to give you a visual of his tongue churning on his finger. Pleased by your reaction, he kissed your lips in reward for your submission, permitting you to taste yourself. He mumbles in between kisses, “Your body makes it so obvious for me.”

“Do something.” You uttered between battered breaths.

He lowered himself between your thighs and raised your legs to rest on either side of his shoulder after he had skillfully taken off your panties in the process, tossing them aside without haste. Coming in contact with your pussy, he breathed haughtily against your folds. You had to have the prettiest pussy he had ever seen. It was dripping and anxiously awaiting his touch but he had to contain himself. 

“Demanding me? To do what exactly?” He used his breath to an advantage, drawing in and out of the vicinity of your pussy but never too close or too far. His antics are the source of the shiver that overtook your body.  

“Touch me.” You said in an obvious tone.

“Where? Here?” He asked coyly, grazing his tongue throughout your inner thigh barely reaching the meeting point of your thigh and your vagina. Deciding to be generous, he presses a kiss onto your swollen clit. You could’ve slapped yourself with the whimper you had let out.

You gritted out in between moans, knowing what he was doing, “Fuck you know where shit, you are such an asshole.” 

He rolled his eyes at the nickname but decided that since it was your first time he should save the edging for another day. 

Without warning, you feel a slow swirl on your clit before he commits to seeking refuge with his lips. He ate you out as if you contained ambrosia and the only way to fully attain it was by ruining you.

“You’ve got such a pretty clit, doll. Looks so cute and swollen.” He teased as he swirled a finger over it before giving it a little tug. You glanced down to see his hungry eyes drawn to your panting and moaning figure. You quickly looked away and he retracted his fingers from your clit at the same time. You whined out at the loss.

“Eyes on me.” 

You couldn’t find yourself to disobey. 

“Want you to remember this.” You heard him whisper in between sucks as he descended again. Occasionally he would groan into your cunt shocking you closer to an orgasm. The bed sheets weren’t even a contender for places to latch on. Your eyes were only on Toji. It was an automatic response to thread your fingers through his hair and guide his head closer to you. 

His name is left broken on your lips while your orgasm is on his. He gave you a second to compose yourself before asking, “Think you can handle more?”

More? Before you could ask, you had your words caught in your throat.

“All that from just my mouth.” He lapped up everything that had been seeping out of you. “Need to prep you before you take the whole thing. Wanna see how much you can take when I add one in.” He murmurs to himself more than to you. 

“Inflating your ego during sex, you’re such- fuck Toji!”  You cut yourself off at his finger slotting inside your cunt without any resistance or warning. 

“So loose. I’m sure you can take one more.” He mumbled against your ear.

He pumped in and out while his mouth met yours allowing you to taste yourself. Originally the thought had repulsed you but with the assaults on your cunt and an impending second orgasm, you couldn’t find it in yourself to care. The kiss was sloppy. You would break away each time his fingers hit the right spot. 

Toji was right. Sex was a stress reliever. You couldn’t think of the documents on your desk that you needed to sign, missions that you had lined up for the week, or the brunch your mother had asked you to attend. That damn brunch was the least of your concerns. None of that mattered, not with how his fingers were slamming in and out of you at an inhuman pace that no other man could achieve. 

You felt that you were close but so did he. His lips left yours at the same time his fingers did and you anxiously anticipated their return but they never came. You turned to face him but noticed him get up off the bed.

“Why’d you stop?” You asked panting, lifting yourself using your elbows. Had you done something wrong? Before you could ask, he lifted a hand signaling you to remain still.

“Like I said, I was prepping you. Want you to cum on something else.” He informed, swiftly removing his remaining clothes leaving him fully nude.

Your imagination didn’t do it justice. At this point, nothing you had envisioned this to go to had been beyond your comprehension. That night at the pond was proving to be a preview. You had no dicks for reference to go off but based on the assumption you knew he was beyond average in girth and length. It had to be his Heavenly Pact at work because no normal human would be able to have been blessed like that.

“Are you ready? We can stop.” He asked with a kindness you had never thought was possible from a mercenary. His eyes remind you of an exploding nebula. You had never seen that sort of emotion from him in all your years of knowing him. 

Momentarily shocked you stared gapingly at him and you shook your head.

“I want you.” You softly whispered, though it had sounded different in your head.Not given enough time to backtrack on the implications, your body had already been lifted and settled onto a few pillows with your back against the headboard of his bed. 

Those were the words he imagined you saying when he’d touch himself to the thought of you. When he needed something to get him off while he was with a woman who wasn’t doing it for him.

Staring at your figure, you were stunning. Pieces of your white hair sticking to your body due to the sweat that could mimic a blizzard. Your boobs moving to an unsteady and erratic rhythm, Your thighs rubbing against each other to release tension, Then those eyes of yours that might as well have been the six-eyes with how alluring they were, tempting him to dare to ruin you, taint you, take you.

“What.” You mumble, suddenly the confidence you had felt earlier converting into self-conscious.

He places his thighs on either side of your legs, hovering over you before closing in on your face. “Been waiting years for you to admit that. Give me some time to soak it in.” He breathes, stealing another breathtaking kiss.

“I’m here now. Do what you want.” Your words draw out when he departs from the kiss. 

He shook his head while he fluttered his lips against your jaw, “You’re not ready for what I want. You’d fall right apart.”

Your left arm latched onto his shoulder to keep him close and hummed at his words.

“Try me.”

You felt the chuckle he let out on your collarbone, “You don’t ride a stallion without riding a mule first.”

“You do if you dare to try.” 

He stopped his advances and again laughed at your audacity before snaking a hand behind you to give your ass a playful tap.

“Offering to ride me? I’m sure you could but that’s gonna have to be another day.” He promised and you were inclined to believe without any further information.

You weren’t thinking. You couldn’t think knowing that his dick was so close but so far away. That you were about to lose it to Toji, the man who has been in your life for as long as you’ve been sentient. 

He must’ve sensed your nerves because he smiled–not one of those condescending Zenin smiles– but a smile that was unique to Toji.

“I got you.” He assured you with words but his green eyes were the first thing to register in your mind. 

He reached to the side of his nightstand and unwrapped the condom wrapper. He saw you watching with curious eyes.

“Wanna put it on?” He asked and you could only nod as he handed over to you. 

It seemed pretty straightforward. All you had to do was slip it on him. As you were about to make contact with his dick was when you realized what you were doing but let the thoughts die out. As you slipped it on fully, you let your fingers graze the part of his dick that wasn’t covered by the condom out of curiosity. His hand caught your wrist and you thought you did something wrong.

“Not today.” He tried to remain assertive but his wavering voice begged to differ. However, you didn’t notice.

“I’m going to put it in.” He said and you nodded. When he did you could only describe the sensation as foreign – more foreign than a kiss but not unwelcome— and you felt that you’d never hold leverage over him again.

This was too intimate. He was handling you with the care of a flower. Ironic, given how he went about tending your garden. You had hardly been allowed to do anything because he wouldn’t let you. He was partly in, with a little more than half of his dick inside of you, inching in slowly so as to not overwhelm you. 

“You can move.” 

“With pleasure.” He started off slow like he did when he first put it in – in the haze of your impatience you’d consider it a snail's pace– however, the way he rolled his hips into yours to make up for it. You observed as his eyes found a new fixation on his dick disappearing into your cunt. No matter how he tried to make up for it, you needed more and you were passed not wanting to beg.

“Faster, you can go faster.” You encouraged and he didn’t need to be told twice. He wrapped your legs around his waist and the angle immediately caused a knot to form in your stomach. The snail's pace was overtaken by a speed that you could compare to a jackrabbit. Your jaw lolled and began moaning and yelling profanities mixed in with his name that hazed out in your head to sound the same. It must’ve been a mantra because he joined in too.

“You’re doin’ so fuckin good, pretty girl. Takin’ it so well.” He praised before groaning out your name causing you to clench around him involuntarily. 

“Fu-uck you’re killing me here, doll. How does it feel getting ruined by me.” He growled, drawing out of you before ramming back into your cunt. The crescendo of your bodies resonating through the walls. 

“S’good! S’good!” He laughed at how gone you were. You were his dream incarnate. As he pushed into you, he let the thought of the long wait you put him through be worth it.

He kissed you, branding your hips with his hands and using the momentum to rut further into you, as he said, “Want to feel you cum. I know you got one more in ya, pretty.”  In such a short amount of time, he had already memorized your body’s cues.

You gasped at the increase in pace and knew that you would be reaching the end soon.

“To-oh-ji! Toji! Toji! Fuuh-uck!” You had officially lost all sense. Your hips rutted into his, a failed attempt at matching his pace. 

His mouth latched onto your boob, sucking harshing on your nipple, and occasionally biting onto it. Rather than giving your other boob the same attention, his other hand traveled into your valley and made a home abusing your clit that was pulsing from the overstimulation.

“I’m close.” You warned and his actions weren’t what unraveled you. It was his words.

Unlatching from your boob, he smirked against your lips, “You're there, baby. Let go.” 

His blinds were closed all the way, not allowing a speck of light to permeate through the bedroom but you were seeing stars. You may have seen Cassiopeia amongst them all. 

His mouth caught your moans but his pace didn’t relent just yet. His movements were not as precise as they had been, stuttering between strokes, and he had begun to be vocal. He was near his end and you had to repay him for his work by clenching around his dick and tugging at his hair. 

He rammed into your cunt one final time before you felt his cum spurt inside you. This is by far the most he had cum in– no, he had never cum this much before. His body fell slack onto yours and for a while, all you felt was your chest beat in unison. He stayed inside you for a while and when he did eventually take it out, you felt your cunt clench on air at the loss.

He tossed the condom into the nearby trash can and let himself fall beside yours. It was awkward for a while but you knew that you needed to leave. You started to get up from the bed, preparing to find your clothes that had been scattered throughout the room, his hand lying on top.

Turning to face him, you saw his pose embodied a sculpture of Hercules to a tee– naked with his sheet draping over the parts you had met a few minutes prior. 

“You don’t have to leave” If you didn’t know any better you could confuse his tone with his pleading.

“It’s already so late and my driver will definitely grow suspicious if I don’t return home tonight.”

“You had a driver bring you here?” He asked unimpressed. For someone as calculated as you, the rookie mistake of having a driver bring you here was laughable.

“How else would I get here? You didn’t necessarily offer me a ride.” You reminded him while you found your phone and texted your driver 

“No but you did.” He smirked and you felt your cheeks heat up.

“Consider the offer off the table.” Though it was a threat, he found the pout etched on your face too cute to hold your threat at a value. 

You made your way out of the apartment complex to see your driver waiting for you. 

“I surmise the meeting went well.” Your driver asked as he opened the door for you. 

Meeting? What meeting? Oh, that.

Clearing your throat, you ascertain, “I don’t believe those matters concern you.”

“R-Right, my apologies ma’am.” He stuttered out. Once you had entered the car, he dashed towards the driver's seat. You saw him stumble over his feet and wipe a few nervous sweat beads from his forehead before entering the car himself. 

Your hand was hovering over the privacy divider button when he spoke again.

“Your mother asked me to remind you of the brunch you have tomorrow with your father.” 

Your heart froze.

“Noted. Can we get going now? I’d like to wake up on time tomorrow.” You assumed he had replied after but could never know for certain because you had already drawn the divider up.

Staring out of the window you notice a light turned on inside of the apartment and a shadow briefly before it was overtaken by the bustling streets of Shinjuku.

It was odd to stare at the stars knowing how they felt for the first time.

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a/n: sorry for the two month break! honestly had a lot of trouble writing this chapter. I've never written smut before so I hope I was able to do the genre and toji justice. Also, after seeing Toji in the anime recently (do not speak to me about the Megumi scene or I will cry) felt like I missed writing about my man.

italicized references:

cassiopeia: a queen in ancient Greek mythology and constellation.

hyssop and heliotrope: flowers

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