| | First Times (18+ MDNI)

𝙖 𝙨𝙤𝙡𝙞𝙡𝙤𝙦𝙪𝙮 𝙩𝙤 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙡𝙞𝙛𝙚 𝙬𝙚 𝙣𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙝𝙖𝙙 | ᴛᴏᴊɪ ꜰᴜꜱʜɪɢᴜʀᴏ| first times (18+ MDNI)

pairings: toji fushiguro x gojo!reader, toji zenin x gojo!reader

summary: the first time you were close enough to see the stars.

tags/genre: toji x gojo!reader, gojo’s older sister, pre-star plasma vessel arc/star plasma vessel arc, Shiu Kong cameo, suggestive language (thanks to Toji, of course), explicit language, SMUT (if that makes you uncomfortable please do not read this), symbolism (?), satoru being a little brat (are we surprised?), sibling bonding, strangers to friends to ?, fluff, 2nd person point of view, the first person point of view switches are intentional!

warnings: 8.5k word count, rated M (18+) for language and sexual scenes, male masturbation, allusion to female masturbation, vaginal sex, male dom, fem sub, virginity kink (if you squint), praise kink, breath play, brat themes (barely), handjob (fingering), oral (fem rec.), teasing (this is toji were are talking about), sweet talk, dirty talk, pet names (doll and pretty girl are the extent of it), semi-edging, missionary, safe-sex (they used a condom), titty sucking.

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Your first time was in the garden underneath the blazing lights of the stars and the judgmental gaze of the moon with the man you loved most.

That’s how you retold it to me when I became a teenager and told you I was interested in dating. You stretched the importance of communication in a relationship. Your exact words were, “Make sure they know it’s a relationship! A lot of people assume things! Oh, and use protection!”

But that wasn’t the truth. At least, not the way that Yuki told me about it.

You lost it in a dingy apartment in Shinjuku with the night sky hardly peaking through the openings of the blinds. The man you lost it to, well, I can’t speak on that. 

He was an impatiently patient man. He had texted you his address soon after your date and added a few suggestive words to truly hone in on his desire to see you again but under an unrestrained environment. He left it at that and let the waiting game begin. His mind was filled with the chances of winning but in a small subsection (that’s as much as he’d ever admit to a living soul) of all that, he questioned what you’d be doing in your part of your world.

He would be lying if he didn’t have you as a constant in his mind since that day; to be more specific, your body had been getting him hard at just the thought of it. The silhouette of your body in the dress alone would have left an impactful impression on him but the opportunity to see you nearly naked and have the images he had fantasized about be confirmed. 

He envisioned you stuck in a circle of Elders dictating the state of their society and you idly listening in. They’d mention your role in their hierarchy as the face of the “New Era” and implant their belief systems into you through innuendos. You’d play the attentive archetype but secretly rather be in your garden or seeing that you enjoy spending time with your sibling, you’d think about taking Satoru to eat at his favorite place because who were you without trying to appease someone who wasn’t yourself? 

He also foresaw that after all of your tasks, you’d decompress in your garden. You’d be trying to do your daily routine of inspecting for weeds and checking what didn’t and did need watering. In between that routine, you’d somehow get reminded of him while taking in his failed attempt of carving out a snake in one of the hedges due to his reckless craftsmanship. You’d stifle a smile but you and those petunias that circled the surrounding area knew that you found amusement in it and though in the moment you cursed him to hell for trying to create something so hideous you never urged him to fix it. 

Afterward, you’d get frustrated thinking about him and believe that the frustration that needs to be released is through training. You’d have no one around to train with and take out your frustrations on the nearby trees surrounding the training ground. After attempting to release variations of Red and Blue on the trees you’d come to grow even more frustrated at your countless failed attempts at being able to use it continuously. So you’d switch the practice to something you were good at, fighting close range. This would need the help of a helpless punching bag and you’d try to exhaust all of your frustrations in a concoction of varying different punches and kicks. 

You’d take a shower to wash away the incessant thoughts of his presence. Your hands would massage in the shampoo to provide relief but it would remind you of the times he’d brush through your hair to find a strand to tug on. A tug, just one tug. That’s what you’d start with when you tug on one of your white strands. It wouldn’t feel the same as when he’d do it and that notion would certainly irk you. You’d continue your routine of washing your body but you’d make the mistake of closing your eyes when you brushed over your pebbled nipples. Curiously you’d grope them with the image of his exposed body in the pond cemented into the forefront of your mind making it easy to imagine his hands instead of your own. The hand that wasn’t busy with your breast would wander down to give attention to your needy clit that had been giving you clues as to what the target of your frustration had been. 

This is the scenario that Toji found himself jerking off to late at night in his bedroom after fighting the urge to take home a woman from the bar he had been at. He cursed you for this. If you hadn’t made the sole rule be not fucking anyone else, he’d be having his dick blown right now. You’d have no problem with that rule. That rule was a test and Toji was one boner away from breaking it. 

It was pathetic how he was holding out for someone who he hadn’t even felt yet. 

It had been a few days since he had last seen you and his body was not reacting to it well. He thought you would’ve been crawling to him by now. He pumped his shaft faster in frustration that the scenario he had imagined wasn’t even a probability for you. You had gone your whole life without sex, what would be a couple of days, weeks, or months added on of not experiencing it? 

He let out a few pumps before he came and let his other arm fall over his eyes while he tried to even out his breath. The pleasure that should’ve come along with it was nonexistent. Instead, he made the mistake of letting his mind flash an image of you again. 

He would spend the rest of his night restless and sore.

The next day he had to clear his mind through means that keep him sane.

There he was in a gambling pub in Shinjuku trying to make use of his money by trying to expand on it. It was also his unhealthy way of killing time as he anticipated your call. His gambling feats were enough to forget about all the other times he had lost money. He had placed his bet for the horse race that was the gamble of the day and ordered himself some takoyaki. The pub was situated on the outskirts of Shinjuku and was a hole-in-the-wall place. The pub was littered with all walks of life – a salaryman that is using gambling as a salvation, a group of construction workers who were there for lunch and had bet the lowest amount possible as they treated it as a game, a pair of middle-aged men that didn’t want to go home to their wife and kids, and then the majority were questionable characters that were stereotypical to the environment.

If Toji were to choose between the aforementioned list he would say he was a mix of them all. This information was based on observation and had a high possibility of it all being false but Toji didn’t plan on finding out. No, he is going to take his profiling as gospel and allow himself to be right. They were the least of his worries after all. The horse he bet on was advancing and the money he put in looked like a sure win. 

From the corner of his eye, he saw the door to the pub open and knew from the suit and the stench of cigarettes that approached him who it was. Sipping on his fountain drink of choice, he huffs out a laugh and announces,  “Was under the impression you were embarrassed by me, Shiu. You always restrict our meetings to over the phone so what’s with the sudden appearance?” 

Shiu Kong, a 24-year-old Korean national and former detective somehow found himself in Japan as a handler for mercenaries. Toji met him at a pub similar to the one they were in 2 years ago but not by coincidence. Shiu had seen him a few times before approaching him but observing him get into a bar fight and his blatant disregard for others made him approach him with the offer of becoming a mercenary. 

“Unfortunately, you’re hard to miss.” The man lamented referring to the window that was directly in front of him and the man’s large silhouette. He walked closer to the table and spectated the horse race that was projected on the screen and made his bet with himself that Toji would lose. The gamble was that if Toji lost he’d reward himself another pack of parliaments and if he won he’d quit smoking.  

“Plenty embarrassed of you but I just happened to be in the area and saw you through the window. Decided to cut out the middleman and fill you in on the job in person.” He explained while he searched one of his pockets for a staple of his image, a cigarette, and a lighter. Digging out both he exhaled, “Might find some entertainment watching you blow a shit load of cash in one go.”

“You’re wasting your time. I might not even bother with the job after I win this one. Bet 8 million on that Bronco and heard from one of the guys here that he’s a sure win.” Toji assured, offhandedly directing his chopsticks toward a sleazy-looking bald man across the pub.

“Yeah?” he asked in disbelief as he pulled out a seat next to his delusional client, “Should you be taking advice from a man who’s betting against you?”

No, he shouldn’t but he could always leave the man a generous message if he did decide to play dirty. Regardless if the man had “reassured” him that his bet was solid, Toji felt confident in his bet. He contributed his confidence to the outlook of his week. He was hoping that the biggest star in the sky was as much in favor of him as it had been on that date. Again, your image manifested in his mind causing him to try to remain neutral and adjust himself discreetly under the table. 

He returned his gaze to the TV while he was picking up his set of chopsticks when he saw the announcement that his horse had lost. Out of frustration, he had cracked them with the emotion that had manifested in the force he held them in. He stood up from his seat and scoured the pub for the man with his eyes. He focused his eyes on where had been earlier and saw only the food he had been eating left.

“Coward”, he mumbled as he plopped himself back on the stool and pulled out another set of chopsticks from the canister on the table, he grumbled, “How much is it and when do I have to do it?”

Puffing out the smoke, he taunted thoroughly amused with how the situation worked out for him, “Trying to make another quick buck after this? Employers are going to start paying you a salary with how frequently you are asking for jobs.” 

“If it’s anything short of a million they can shove that salary offer up their ass. I have to force you to negotiate to even get half the amount the jobs are worth.” He swallowed and drank from the fountain drink that he had refilled multiple times with no plans of paying the refill fee. His most recent job payout was a rare one, usually, the payout for his jobs is between 10-50k. The employers never understood the value or cost of a life. Why would they? If they were never the ones doing it. Rich people had money to blow but not the faintest idea what it’s worth was.

Pulling a seat next to the enormous man, he lets a chuckle escape, “God forbid, a 22-year-old survives on a million a month. Your gambling is going to leave you on the street eventually and don’t expect as your handler I’m going to offer you my house to crash at.”

Plopping another takoyaki ball in his mouth as he watched the horse he betted on in the lead, he jauntily answered, “As long as the jobs roll in we are both in the clear of that ever happening.”

Call Toji any negative adjective (trust, I have some of my own) but he was diligent with his work. He was the highest mercenary in demand in all of Japan with how efficient he was with his commissions. Employers appreciated that all he asked was the lump sum and the general details of the job. Morals were not a driving force in any particular aspect of being a mercenary, at least that’s how Toji perceived his career path. 

Shiu nodded and vaguely detailed, “All these people want is for it to be done by the end of the month.” 

While Shiu began to debrief him vaguely on the job, Toji felt a beep in the pocket of his jeans. His contact list consisted of the man in front of him and the woman he had eagerly anticipated to be inside of. He could’ve groaned out of relief at this revelation. From briefly listening in on the job description, it seemed like a pretty standard job.

Finishing the last sips of his drink and chewing on the last ball of takoyaki, he grunted as he stood up from his seat, “Got it. Forward me the details in a text or something.”

“You’ve been in a rush the past couple of days, Zenin. What other unhealthy habit of yours have you been indulging in?” He asked to take a draw from his cigarette while stuffing one of his hands in his pocket. With how long they’ve known each other, he’s hardly ever seen him rushing to places. Toji lived on the ideology that he had all the time in the world and he didn’t care much for how he spent it. Now comparing this ideology with how he had been acting lately, the former detective’s interest had peaked.

“Nothing that you would care about.” He replied as he put on his jacket. He threw some cash on the table and patted his handlers back as he made his way out of the pub. 

“Thanks for that restaurant recommendation, by the way.”

Shiu watched as his associate walked through the doors of the establishment and smirked to himself. Getting up from his seat and throwing away the trash Toji had left behind he makes his way to a nearby smoke shop with his head held high and mentally thanking him for his misgivings.

No, thank you, Shiu thought as he handed the cashier his money.

———————————————————-----------------------------------------------------------------

Weeds are grown out.

[image attached]

The text alongside him reaching the garden to see you fully clothed, in baggy jeans and an even bigger knit sweater with an annoyingly yellow garden apron on top of it all with that brat of a brother beside you, well, color his disappointment.

Irony befell him as he found himself going back to his old routine of trying to go unnoticed by you guys. He must’ve been rusty because it didn’t take long for your blue eyes to find his hiding spot. You nodded your head in acknowledgment before turning your attention back to the miniature version of you that was inches away from terrorizing a flower. If he hadn’t known he was your brother, he could have passed off Satoru as your son. 

You slapped his wrist away causing him to yelp in pain and sheepishly grin at being caught. You looked at him unamused and demonstrated how to properly pluck a flower.

“You are too rough on such delicate organisms, ‘Toru. You have to treat them with care and love–” He brought his hands up mimicking your speech and guessed the next words you were going to say, “Because they feel it too blah blah blah.” 

He stared boredly at how you plucked the flower from the stem rather than from the root and didn’t notice how your method was any better than his.

“Feel stuff, my butt. Why care for something so weak? They don’t even do anything.”  You heard him mutter and were growing irritated at his attitude. Normally, you’d hear complaints about his attitude from his retainer and any other unlucky person who crossed his path. You’d reprimand him but his behavior never was bad when he was with you. He’d be whiny and pouty but that was the extent of it. This was unusual.

“Why do you care for the teddy bear that I gifted you? Why do you care for the toys that you play with?” You asked, placing the flower you had plucked in the pocket of your apron.

He answered as if it were obvious, “Because you got them for me.”

“But they don’t do anything, so what value do they bring you? You wouldn’t care if I threw them away, right?” 

“I wouldn’t care. You could buy me new ones.” This kid was audacious as he stared up at you with the cheekiest grin. 

This kid knew his strengths and Toji could applaud you for resisting the urge to enforce corporal punishment. 

You scoffed, “I would? What gave you that idea?”

Satoru wrapped his arms around your waist and snuggled into the embrace he had created. “Look at this face! You can’t say no to this!” He cooed, shining his eyes to yours that dulled in comparison.

You shook your head with a laugh, warming up to his antics, before creating some distance. You plucked two flowers out from nearby; hyssop and heliotrope. 

Crouching down to his height, you explained, “You don’t know the meaning now but I hope once you find this interesting enough that one day you’ll understand.” You threaded the flowers in the crevice behind his ear, brushing a few strands of hair out of the way to properly display them.

Smiling at your work, you confessed, “You are annoyingly cute and sometimes I wish you didn’t know that but that’s not why I buy you those things.”

Pointing to the flowers behind his ear you said, “Those flowers are important because they have meaning.”

“Huh?” Your brother's face contorted in visual confusion, unable to grasp the point you were trying to make.

“Satoru means “to know.” Your name has meaning and lets people know how to address you. It reveals to people the kind of person you are from that alone. It’s what makes you a person.” You recall fondly on the day you were given the honor to name him. Your parents were so preoccupied with the revelation of birthing a user of the Six Eyes that they had forgotten to give him a name. The responsibility then had been passed to you. His birth came before you had thought of baby names for your hypothetical future child but keeping in line with your unoriginality Satoru was the first name to come to mind.

“These flowers may look weak based on appearance but many hold toxic properties that could kill something based on impact or consumption. Assuming that something is weak makes you the weak one in a situation and inevitably leaves you at a greater disadvantage. It could lead to your death.” You explained as you pointed to a patch of lantana, bitter nightshade, and mountain laurel; flowers with beautiful exteriors but poisonous compositions. 

Satoru groaned but made no effort to take out the flowers you’d given him, “If I wanted a life lesson, I would’ve stayed with Yoichi.”

Being compared to his retainer made you recoil. You hadn’t meant to turn a sibling bonding day into a day of lectures. The world after the ignorant closings of childhood is nothing but continuous put-to-use life lessons. You’d rather give him insight into his destiny as the strongest than further inflate the propagated ego that the masses had given the boy that convinced him that he was invincible. 

“You are welcome to go back to him if this bores you so much.” You are met with silence and that only elicits a sigh from you. You announced, “Let’s call it a day. I have some matters to attend to and Yoichi is most likely searching for you.”

In truth Satoru wasn’t bored, he just wanted you to spend time with him. Without the lessons, without being at home, and without anything or anyone else to worry about. You were his moral compass and anything you’d say he’d follow. His attitude was directed toward the retainer he had been trying to dodge all day

Satoru’s voice called out behind you, “It’s not boring! Tell me about those! They look kinda funky, what do they mean?”

You turned around to see him pointing at a patch of weeds. You giggled walking over to him and ruffling his hair, “Those are called weeds and they mean that I need to pluck them out in order for the other flowers to stay alive.”

“Can I help you with that one day?” He asked, unknowingly robbing Toji of his side hustle.

“Of course.” You smiled when you leaned down to place a kiss on his head, “You can go ahead of me. I’ll see you later.”

“Be nice to Yoichi!”

“I’m always nice!” He stuck his tongue out as he ran off passing the tree Toji had been hiding behind. He walked out once the kid was outside of earshot and made his way to an expectant you.

“To what do I owe the displeasure, Zenin?” You asked, patting your hands onto your apron.

Gesturing his head to the fading body of your body, he confronts, “Was here to clock in but instead saw you interviewing someone for my job. Did I mention that I work better alone?” 

You laughed, “Guessing that I was interviewing for a new worker rather than a replacement is audacious. I’ve been giving you warnings about how you handled my hedges and you never seem to listen.”

“I express artistic freedom.” He shrugged, “What do they say? Art is in the eye of the beholder.” 

You chuckled then teased.“As I’ve said time and time again, you need better eyes.” 

Walking up the array of hedges that had been brutalized by Toji’s craftsmanship, you inquire, “Alright, what is this one supposed to be?”

What you had been pointing to were two hedges that you had thought looked like either a yin and yang figure or– actually, no that was your only guess. None of his pieces have ever looked easy to understand. You suppose he could make the argument that’s the point of art so instead of voicing that you let it remain a thought.

“Obviously that’s supposed to be a lion fighting a tiger.” He claimed with certainty.

You raised a brow, “They have stories?”

You didn’t think Toji had the capability to be creative or thoughtful. His life was based on thoughtless behavior, it was the basis of your friendship. Sure, the portrayal he was going for was violent but the thought did render you temporarily speechless. Thinking about it more, what kind of hobbies did Toji have? What kind of things does he like? Does he listen to music?

“You’ve said it yourself. Everything has meaning. Isn’t that what you were trying to tell that brat?” If you had been familiar with his bashful tells, you would’ve noticed how he refused to make eye contact with you when he answered and the tips of his ears went red.

“By the way, if that’s how you talk during sex too I might have to rethink our deal. Unless you're moaning during it then by all means continue.” He mocked, naturally reminding you of the agreement you had made almost a week ago that had been constantly replaying in your mind.

You rolled your eyes, feeling the incessant jabs at you today to be unfair, “You’d be able to get those sounds from me? I’d like to see you try.” 

His hands found their respective places at each side of your waist, pulling your ass into the outline of his hardened member as he breathed into the shell of your ear, “You could find out. We still haven’t put the point of this deal to trial yet.” 

“You’re vetoing my analogies during sex but that proves otherwise.” You rebuke, restraining the noise that wanted to come out from the impact. Remaining in his hold any longer, you would have let him take you right then and there. When you did get out of his touch, you heard him groan and felt the effects of it go straight to your core.

“I also remember mentioning that I don’t plan on losing it in the garden.” You calmly remind, trying hard to deny the throb in between your legs.

“I haven’t fucked anyone in a week. I’ve been maintaining my end of the deal. It’s now your turn to maintain yours. I was under the impression that you’d be one of the better pussy I’ve been in.”  He said in annoyance, growing tired of your game.

You didn’t necessarily have any proof to prove that he had been lying but you also had no proof that he had been telling the truth. You shrugged, not understanding how that had anything to do with you, “Whether I am or not, that’ll be up to you to decide.”

“Yeah, and when is that gonna be? It’s been nearly a week, doll. My patience is running out.” 

And it truly was. After jerking off to an imaginary scenario and sporting one to the thought of you, he could only endure so much. An ironic predicament for a man who has a Heavenly Pact that enhances his senses and his physical strength.

It must be your Gojo instincts because you felt pleasure in having something over the outcasted Zenin. 

“Tomorrow. I’ll give myself to you tomorrow.” You stated, making it seem like a less than thought out decision when in actuality you had this decided from the moment you had sent that text. 

“In the meantime, if you want to keep your job.” You handed him the hedge clippers, “Fix my hedges."

The rest of the time, it was a comfortable quiet with the noise of your collective pensive with the thoughts of tomorrow above all else.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The address in his text led you to a wear-for-tear apartment complex on the outskirts of Tokyo nearing Shinjuku. It was enveloped with nearby liquor stores, gambling pubs, drunkards, and arguing couples. It worried your driver to leave you alone in such a place so much that he had asked to wait for you out of concern for your safety but you waved him off without a second thought. The excuse you had used was that you were meeting up with an old colleague on work matters. He had been hesitant but he obeyed and drove off leaving you in front of the disarray. The environment is very well aligned with where you had imagined Toji would live. Given the amount of money that Toji was given in his jobs, he must’ve spent it all on a continuous streak of failed gambling bets and couldn’t afford to pay rent in a better place. You couldn’t even imagine the structure or the furniture he had in his apartment. You felt that it could have been the affluent possessions or black-and-white essentials. 

You let those thoughts linger as you made your way up the flight of stairs to his apartment. Each step was louder and more concerning than the last. The noise of cars passing by and various sirens were heard clearly throughout the motel-style infrastructure of the apartment.

When you arrived at his door, you felt the reality of the situation sink in. Your virginity wasn’t something sacred to you. As a teenager, you weren’t interested in any guy that much to want to lose it to them. You wished you had caved and just lost it to one of the many guys Yuki had sent your way. Due to your high standards, you’ve landed yourself in a situation that was more than you bargained for. You’re stuck with the option of Toji Zenin, the embodiment of sex.

You let your knuckles graze the door believing if you left them there for a while it would give you the courage to knock. The meandering thoughts were pushed aside once you lifted your knuckles to knock and felt your stomach twisted up into knots. You vaguely heard thuds and things opening and closing from the interior and felt the knots in your stomach tighten. 

He opened the door with relatively the same image that you had engraved in your mind; nothing but a towel around his neck and low hanging plaid red and black pajama pants that visibly displayed his defined v-line. Your blue eyes knew not to linger and went to search for his but found them fixated on your mouth. You’d have to address that habit of his eventually. You took that as your cue to speak.

“H-Hey.” 

Pathetic, you thought to yourself. It had only been a few hours ago that you held the power in the situation. Seeing a preview and what you’d be seeing soon, you forfeited any semblance of power that you had left. Pushing your way through the door, you reiterate, “Where’s your bedroom?”

Entering his apartment, your suspicions of what it would look like were semi-confirmed. There were no luxurious items but it was filled with household essentials like a couch and TV. It was also barren of any personality aside from a bar cart that had looked to be untouched.  

“Straight to the point? I appreciate taking into account how cruel you’ve been towards me.” He grinned at your flustered state. 

“Shut up, asshat. I just want to get this over with.” You barked back, walking aimlessly in his apartment aiming to find the door that led to his bedroom.

“It’s the first door to the left. You can wait there for me. I’ll be out soon” He called out as he made his way back into the bathroom to continue his night routine that you undoubtedly disrupted.

You entered the bedroom and were surprised to find that it was cleaner than you had imagined it to be. Much like the living room, it only held the essential furniture needed to distinguish its purpose. After assessing the room for what it was, you situated yourself on the bed with your hands gripping the skirt of your kimono. 

“You still have your clothes on?” You could hear the disappointment from his voice and as you turned to see him his face matched the tone of his voice. His body leaned against the doorframe, his appearance the same as it had been when he had opened the door.

You groaned, “At least try to pretend to not be disappointed.” 

“You preach that speaking the truth is important to your brother but when I do it you draw the line.” He said, referring to the day you had acknowledged his existence for the first time. He sits next to you, leaving a good distance in between, but the scent of his shampoo is so intoxicating that he might as well have been millimeters away.

“For someone who partakes in sex as often as you do, you should know that talking about relatives beforehand is a serious turn-off and not a form of sex talk.” You chastised with no merit to your words.

He looked thoroughly unimpressed by your comment and rebuked it, “We haven’t even started and you’re already questioning my skills.”

The foundation of your knowledge of sex came from sources like porn and Yuki that were classified as the same; dramatized and romanticized. Another source was Toji but the thought of him having been with other women doesn’t entirely sit right with you at the moment. 

“So how do you do this?” You asked, not entirely aware of how to initiate it. 

He loathed verbal communication if it wasn’t necessary. He was a firm believer that people can understand from physical cues alone. Therefore, he used his movements as a response. One of his hands maneuvers its way to the small of your waist, pulling you to where your knees touch. Having you secured where he wanted you, he reached his vacant hand to cup the underside of your jaw and licked his lips before consuming yours. Similarly to the first kiss you shared at the park, it was short and sweet. He pulled away before you could even reciprocate finding your lips searching for him.

He smirked and guided, “We’ll start with this and then we can work your way up to it.” 

Your lips hovering his and the scent of your strawberry chapstick lingering was not going to do it, he had to taste them again. So he did, working his mouth against yours and licking away the temptation of the strawberry chapstick. Unlike the first time, you had managed to catch on faster. You situated your hands on his shoulders to stabilize yourself but still felt unsteady. It wasn’t until you threaded your fingers into his hair that you felt secure.

He tugged on your lower lip to gain access but you weren’t one to back down easily. You weren’t the first to deny him and he had learned how to bypass brats like you. With his hand that had still been on the small of your back, he moved it lower to give your ass a quick tap causing you to gasp and for his tongue to claim your mouth.

Trying to win a battle of strength with Toji was a pathetic effort and after what felt like forever but was only a few seconds, you had given up on trying to win. 

“What am I supposed to do?” You whispered in earnest but the delicacy in your voice had translated in his head to something sensual in his ear. He withheld the groan that was threatening to leave his throat and opted to busy himself by placing one of his palms on the underside of your jaw to have you facing him as he brushed pieces of hair from your face. 

He brushed his lips over your own as he spoke breathlessly,  “You don’t gotta do anything, doll.”

He kissed you one final time before descending towards the valley on your neck and collarbones. His impatience waned with each descending kiss he’d leave on your body. Some parts earn attention while other parts yearn for it. The marks he left left him satisfied until he encountered the hemline of your kimono blocking the visage of your breast. 

“Sit up.” He instructed, helping guide you up while also loosening the obi from your waist in the process allowing your body to be exposed for him to see.

He had been complaining about you essentially blue balling him for over a week but he had no intention of having you work. Not tonight. Tonight was all about you and he was going to let you know that. 

Understanding what he was trying to do, you attempted to cover yourself with the fabric with your face flushing in the process. However, your attempt to fall lackluster in execution with your breast is now enhanced by your crossed arms. 

“Don’t just stare.” You muttered, suddenly feeling small – a feeling that did not come naturally to you.

“You’re just s’pretty. Hard not to.” The effects of his praise manifested differently, your upper half illuminating your cheeks in bright pink while the lower half hiding in your core.

Your pose and your expression had him experience a sexual high he had never been able to achieve with any other woman. A sculptor like Brancusi could feel,see, and anatomically understand your body but he could never be able to sculpt it in a manner that remained faithful to your essence. 

He took hold of your clothes and tossed them in the same direction he had your panties. You were fully bare but unlike earlier, you felt a surge of confidence at his dark green eyes morphing away from its former greed hue.

“Come on, now’s not the time to get shy with me.” He laughed before latching his mouth onto your breast bringing out a moan that had yet to be released from you. His tongue lapped, swirled, and tugged on your nipple with expertise while his other hand replicated his tongue's movement effortlessly. You tried covering your mouth in an attempt to muffle the noises that were fighting to come out but Toji took quick notice and moved it to situate back into his terrain of hair..

“I wanna hear those sweet noises of yours, doll. Let them out. You can try covering up how I’m making you feel but I know.” He urged you on before taking the hand that had been toying with your nipple and using one of his fingers to hook onto your panties and move them aside to rub across your slit and in doing so pick up how wet you had become from just from touch. Your lips were sealed shut but your hips bucked against his touch, trying to catch the sensation again. 

Slipping his fingers inside his mouth to suck up you up. He stuck his tongue out to give you a visual of his tongue churning on his finger. Pleased by your reaction, he kissed your lips in reward for your submission, permitting you to taste yourself. He mumbles in between kisses, “Your body makes it so obvious for me.”

“Do something.” You uttered between battered breaths.

He lowered himself between your thighs and raised your legs to rest on either side of his shoulder after he had skillfully taken off your panties in the process, tossing them aside without haste. Coming in contact with your pussy, he breathed haughtily against your folds. You had to have the prettiest pussy he had ever seen. It was dripping and anxiously awaiting his touch but he had to contain himself. 

“Demanding me? To do what exactly?” He used his breath to an advantage, drawing in and out of the vicinity of your pussy but never too close or too far. His antics are the source of the shiver that overtook your body.  

“Touch me.” You said in an obvious tone.

“Where? Here?” He asked coyly, grazing his tongue throughout your inner thigh barely reaching the meeting point of your thigh and your vagina. Deciding to be generous, he presses a kiss onto your swollen clit. You could’ve slapped yourself with the whimper you had let out.

You gritted out in between moans, knowing what he was doing, “Fuck you know where shit, you are such an asshole.” 

He rolled his eyes at the nickname but decided that since it was your first time he should save the edging for another day. 

Without warning, you feel a slow swirl on your clit before he commits to seeking refuge with his lips. He ate you out as if you contained ambrosia and the only way to fully attain it was by ruining you.

“You’ve got such a pretty clit, doll. Looks so cute and swollen.” He teased as he swirled a finger over it before giving it a little tug. You glanced down to see his hungry eyes drawn to your panting and moaning figure. You quickly looked away and he retracted his fingers from your clit at the same time. You whined out at the loss.

“Eyes on me.” 

You couldn’t find yourself to disobey. 

“Want you to remember this.” You heard him whisper in between sucks as he descended again. Occasionally he would groan into your cunt shocking you closer to an orgasm. The bed sheets weren’t even a contender for places to latch on. Your eyes were only on Toji. It was an automatic response to thread your fingers through his hair and guide his head closer to you. 

His name is left broken on your lips while your orgasm is on his. He gave you a second to compose yourself before asking, “Think you can handle more?”

More? Before you could ask, you had your words caught in your throat.

“All that from just my mouth.” He lapped up everything that had been seeping out of you. “Need to prep you before you take the whole thing. Wanna see how much you can take when I add one in.” He murmurs to himself more than to you. 

“Inflating your ego during sex, you’re such- fuck Toji!”  You cut yourself off at his finger slotting inside your cunt without any resistance or warning. 

“So loose. I’m sure you can take one more.” He mumbled against your ear.

He pumped in and out while his mouth met yours allowing you to taste yourself. Originally the thought had repulsed you but with the assaults on your cunt and an impending second orgasm, you couldn’t find it in yourself to care. The kiss was sloppy. You would break away each time his fingers hit the right spot. 

Toji was right. Sex was a stress reliever. You couldn’t think of the documents on your desk that you needed to sign, missions that you had lined up for the week, or the brunch your mother had asked you to attend. That damn brunch was the least of your concerns. None of that mattered, not with how his fingers were slamming in and out of you at an inhuman pace that no other man could achieve. 

You felt that you were close but so did he. His lips left yours at the same time his fingers did and you anxiously anticipated their return but they never came. You turned to face him but noticed him get up off the bed.

“Why’d you stop?” You asked panting, lifting yourself using your elbows. Had you done something wrong? Before you could ask, he lifted a hand signaling you to remain still.

“Like I said, I was prepping you. Want you to cum on something else.” He informed, swiftly removing his remaining clothes leaving him fully nude.

Your imagination didn’t do it justice. At this point, nothing you had envisioned this to go to had been beyond your comprehension. That night at the pond was proving to be a preview. You had no dicks for reference to go off but based on the assumption you knew he was beyond average in girth and length. It had to be his Heavenly Pact at work because no normal human would be able to have been blessed like that.

“Are you ready? We can stop.” He asked with a kindness you had never thought was possible from a mercenary. His eyes remind you of an exploding nebula. You had never seen that sort of emotion from him in all your years of knowing him. 

Momentarily shocked you stared gapingly at him and you shook your head.

“I want you.” You softly whispered, though it had sounded different in your head.Not given enough time to backtrack on the implications, your body had already been lifted and settled onto a few pillows with your back against the headboard of his bed. 

Those were the words he imagined you saying when he’d touch himself to the thought of you. When he needed something to get him off while he was with a woman who wasn’t doing it for him.

Staring at your figure, you were stunning. Pieces of your white hair sticking to your body due to the sweat that could mimic a blizzard. Your boobs moving to an unsteady and erratic rhythm, Your thighs rubbing against each other to release tension, Then those eyes of yours that might as well have been the six-eyes with how alluring they were, tempting him to dare to ruin you, taint you, take you.

“What.” You mumble, suddenly the confidence you had felt earlier converting into self-conscious.

He places his thighs on either side of your legs, hovering over you before closing in on your face. “Been waiting years for you to admit that. Give me some time to soak it in.” He breathes, stealing another breathtaking kiss.

“I’m here now. Do what you want.” Your words draw out when he departs from the kiss. 

He shook his head while he fluttered his lips against your jaw, “You’re not ready for what I want. You’d fall right apart.”

Your left arm latched onto his shoulder to keep him close and hummed at his words.

“Try me.”

You felt the chuckle he let out on your collarbone, “You don’t ride a stallion without riding a mule first.”

“You do if you dare to try.” 

He stopped his advances and again laughed at your audacity before snaking a hand behind you to give your ass a playful tap.

“Offering to ride me? I’m sure you could but that’s gonna have to be another day.” He promised and you were inclined to believe without any further information.

You weren’t thinking. You couldn’t think knowing that his dick was so close but so far away. That you were about to lose it to Toji, the man who has been in your life for as long as you’ve been sentient. 

He must’ve sensed your nerves because he smiled–not one of those condescending Zenin smiles– but a smile that was unique to Toji.

“I got you.” He assured you with words but his green eyes were the first thing to register in your mind. 

He reached to the side of his nightstand and unwrapped the condom wrapper. He saw you watching with curious eyes.

“Wanna put it on?” He asked and you could only nod as he handed over to you. 

It seemed pretty straightforward. All you had to do was slip it on him. As you were about to make contact with his dick was when you realized what you were doing but let the thoughts die out. As you slipped it on fully, you let your fingers graze the part of his dick that wasn’t covered by the condom out of curiosity. His hand caught your wrist and you thought you did something wrong.

“Not today.” He tried to remain assertive but his wavering voice begged to differ. However, you didn’t notice.

“I’m going to put it in.” He said and you nodded. When he did you could only describe the sensation as foreign – more foreign than a kiss but not unwelcome— and you felt that you’d never hold leverage over him again.

This was too intimate. He was handling you with the care of a flower. Ironic, given how he went about tending your garden. You had hardly been allowed to do anything because he wouldn’t let you. He was partly in, with a little more than half of his dick inside of you, inching in slowly so as to not overwhelm you. 

“You can move.” 

“With pleasure.” He started off slow like he did when he first put it in – in the haze of your impatience you’d consider it a snail's pace– however, the way he rolled his hips into yours to make up for it. You observed as his eyes found a new fixation on his dick disappearing into your cunt. No matter how he tried to make up for it, you needed more and you were passed not wanting to beg.

“Faster, you can go faster.” You encouraged and he didn’t need to be told twice. He wrapped your legs around his waist and the angle immediately caused a knot to form in your stomach. The snail's pace was overtaken by a speed that you could compare to a jackrabbit. Your jaw lolled and began moaning and yelling profanities mixed in with his name that hazed out in your head to sound the same. It must’ve been a mantra because he joined in too.

“You’re doin’ so fuckin good, pretty girl. Takin’ it so well.” He praised before groaning out your name causing you to clench around him involuntarily. 

“Fu-uck you’re killing me here, doll. How does it feel getting ruined by me.” He growled, drawing out of you before ramming back into your cunt. The crescendo of your bodies resonating through the walls. 

“S’good! S’good!” He laughed at how gone you were. You were his dream incarnate. As he pushed into you, he let the thought of the long wait you put him through be worth it.

He kissed you, branding your hips with his hands and using the momentum to rut further into you, as he said, “Want to feel you cum. I know you got one more in ya, pretty.”  In such a short amount of time, he had already memorized your body’s cues.

You gasped at the increase in pace and knew that you would be reaching the end soon.

“To-oh-ji! Toji! Toji! Fuuh-uck!” You had officially lost all sense. Your hips rutted into his, a failed attempt at matching his pace. 

His mouth latched onto your boob, sucking harshing on your nipple, and occasionally biting onto it. Rather than giving your other boob the same attention, his other hand traveled into your valley and made a home abusing your clit that was pulsing from the overstimulation.

“I’m close.” You warned and his actions weren’t what unraveled you. It was his words.

Unlatching from your boob, he smirked against your lips, “You're there, baby. Let go.” 

His blinds were closed all the way, not allowing a speck of light to permeate through the bedroom but you were seeing stars. You may have seen Cassiopeia amongst them all. 

His mouth caught your moans but his pace didn’t relent just yet. His movements were not as precise as they had been, stuttering between strokes, and he had begun to be vocal. He was near his end and you had to repay him for his work by clenching around his dick and tugging at his hair. 

He rammed into your cunt one final time before you felt his cum spurt inside you. This is by far the most he had cum in– no, he had never cum this much before. His body fell slack onto yours and for a while, all you felt was your chest beat in unison. He stayed inside you for a while and when he did eventually take it out, you felt your cunt clench on air at the loss.

He tossed the condom into the nearby trash can and let himself fall beside yours. It was awkward for a while but you knew that you needed to leave. You started to get up from the bed, preparing to find your clothes that had been scattered throughout the room, his hand lying on top.

Turning to face him, you saw his pose embodied a sculpture of Hercules to a tee– naked with his sheet draping over the parts you had met a few minutes prior. 

“You don’t have to leave” If you didn’t know any better you could confuse his tone with his pleading.

“It’s already so late and my driver will definitely grow suspicious if I don’t return home tonight.”

“You had a driver bring you here?” He asked unimpressed. For someone as calculated as you, the rookie mistake of having a driver bring you here was laughable.

“How else would I get here? You didn’t necessarily offer me a ride.” You reminded him while you found your phone and texted your driver 

“No but you did.” He smirked and you felt your cheeks heat up.

“Consider the offer off the table.” Though it was a threat, he found the pout etched on your face too cute to hold your threat at a value. 

You made your way out of the apartment complex to see your driver waiting for you. 

“I surmise the meeting went well.” Your driver asked as he opened the door for you. 

Meeting? What meeting? Oh, that.

Clearing your throat, you ascertain, “I don’t believe those matters concern you.”

“R-Right, my apologies ma’am.” He stuttered out. Once you had entered the car, he dashed towards the driver's seat. You saw him stumble over his feet and wipe a few nervous sweat beads from his forehead before entering the car himself. 

Your hand was hovering over the privacy divider button when he spoke again.

“Your mother asked me to remind you of the brunch you have tomorrow with your father.” 

Your heart froze.

“Noted. Can we get going now? I’d like to wake up on time tomorrow.” You assumed he had replied after but could never know for certain because you had already drawn the divider up.

Staring out of the window you notice a light turned on inside of the apartment and a shadow briefly before it was overtaken by the bustling streets of Shinjuku.

It was odd to stare at the stars knowing how they felt for the first time.

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a/n: sorry for the two month break! honestly had a lot of trouble writing this chapter. I've never written smut before so I hope I was able to do the genre and toji justice. Also, after seeing Toji in the anime recently (do not speak to me about the Megumi scene or I will cry) felt like I missed writing about my man.

italicized references:

cassiopeia: a queen in ancient Greek mythology and constellation.

hyssop and heliotrope: flowers

tag list:

@cococola-cocaine @justtnat @softvgold @missroro

comment to let me know if you want to join the tag list for future updates!

make sure to reblog, like, and comment! they really help me know what you guys like and don't like!

𝙖 𝙨𝙤𝙡𝙞𝙡𝙤𝙦𝙪𝙮 𝙩𝙤 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙡𝙞𝙛𝙚 𝙬𝙚 𝙣𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙝𝙖𝙙 | ᴛᴏᴊɪ ꜰᴜꜱʜɪɢᴜʀᴏ| friends with benefits

characters: toji fushiguro x gojo!reader, toji zenin x gojo!reader

summary: an initial "date" leads to an agreement that you weren't expecting to fall into.

tags: toji x gojo!reader, gojo’s older sister, pre-star plasma vessel arc/star plasma vessel arc, suggestive language (thanks to Toji, of course), explicit language, symbolism (?), NO SMUT (bare with me y'all you will get it eventually! next chapter ;) strangers to friends to ?, fluff, Yuki as your self-proclaimed wing woman, exorcising curses, jealous toji, 2nd person point of view, the first person point of view switches are intentional!

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The “date” was set to be in 3 days. Not much communication has been happening between them in that time frame: no messages and no visits to the garden. The most recent message would’ve been the day he had sent that daunting text where you’d ridicule him for being so bombastic and him deciding the plans for the “date” without your input.

Friday, 8 pm at The Turnover in Roppongi.

That was all he had given you and when you tried to ask for details of his “itinerary” he went radio silent. It was the day of the “date” and even then he hadn’t responded. Nonetheless, you couldn’t worry about the vagueness or the “date” at all. No, you had to preoccupy your thoughts with the idea of a curse, with a disfigured metamorphic-looking bird body with hands and feet that looked like talons and a waning expression on its face, that was hanging upside down on a rustic exposed pipe in what would have been the lobby of a hotel. 

The mission was pitched to you by one of the higher-ups like most missions are. They say it’s something and then it turns out to be something else. In this situation in particular the curse was supposed to be a Semi-Grade 2 at most. You had to have been 20 feet outside of the semi-salvaged hotel that, on top of a mountain that you assumed used to be a popular tourist spot, harbored the curse when you felt the energy was 5 times the amount of energy a Semi-Grade 2 curse should have.  Not enough energy to be considered a Special Grade but too much to be a Grade 1. It had to be a Special Grade 1.

“Saaveee the biiird! Leet me saavee the biird mama!”

This curse was a manifestation of a child who died trying to save a bird, that was obvious enough. It’s not rare for children to be higher-graded curses but it is certainly uncommon. The child or the loved ones must have had a surplus enough negative energy to have manifested to be this strong. It goes to show how something once so pure can become corroded in a blink of an eye. The curse was not an intelligent curse from the repetition of those two sentences. That made the job easier and be it as it may you would have exorcized the curse without alerting anyone given how secluded the location was but to be extra precautious you put up a veil.

"Emerge from the darkness, blacker than darkness. Purify that which is impure." You recited from memory having had to put up many veils in your lifetime. Traditionally, the handler that oversaw the mission would be responsible for putting up veils but per the shortage of sorcerers, they allocated handlers to lower-ranking sorcerers. Out of courtesy, they did assign you a driver to transport you to and fro but they weren’t allowed to stay as that was outside the strobe of their occupation. If you had a complaint about this, you could direct it toward the higher-ups and the graves of the befallen. 

“Let’s make this quick, you’ve been suffering long enough.” You announced the curse in vain as if it would even comprehend/respond to your words. It did react to them by leaping from the pipe toward your direction with their talons retracted ready to swipe at your body. Though it did have talons for hands and feet and had the overall appearance of a bird species it couldn’t fly. All it was using was the momentum from the leap and had you been a second too slow in reacting or hadn’t been gifted the ability of Infinity you would’ve easily been left scarred. You had dodged it with ease and appeared behind it, a perk of the Limitless technique being instantaneous movement. 

“No need for theatrics.” You ridiculed in between dodges as it continued to make advances towards you and contemplated how to exorcise it. It had to have been 5 pm and the location of where you were was an hour away from the school and Roppongi was an additional 22 minutes away from that. That’s not including the report you would need to submit. To have enough time to get everything done, you need to end this now. 

You lifted your forefinger as you concentrated your cursed energy into a ball at the tip of your finger and redirected it toward the curse. It was a technique that had taken countless attempts to perfect as the essence of its power was based on precision. You found irony in that as it was by far the ultimate tool for destruction. For a prodigy, learning/mastering the technique should have come easily but the branch that would’ve classified you as a prodigy broke the moment you opened your eyes, and the glow of the genius in your blue eyes was absent. You couldn’t use Hollow Purple or activate your Infinity to be used 24/7. Strip away everything that built up your identity and you’d be left with nothing. 

 “Cursed Technique Reversal: Red.” 

Like that, you were left with a blood-stained floor and a dismembered cursed body. Based on the strength of the curse, it had to have manifested recently. If it were a few years older and had enough experience you were sure it would’ve put more of a fight. At max, it had to have been 6 months old. A long time for a child to be left suffering.

You didn’t try to linger any longer so you pulled your phone out to contact your driver and saw that you had been inside for less than 10 minutes. When you walk outside of the building and put down the barrier the car is already there. 

The driver opened the door for you before eliciting an array of praises, “Another amazing job, Gojo! I hadn’t even reached the bottom of the mountain before you called! You’re truly incredible!” 

What’s so amazing about anything about this career? Why praise me for this? You thought to yourself and made it a point to not reply. It’s the people who understand nothing about this career that would reward you with praise. What would a non-cursor user know about risking your life for people you don’t even care for? You became a hero archetype due to genetics not out of morality.

The driver got the hint and remained silent for the majority of the ride and you were appreciative of that. You didn’t even know their name or what they looked like due to how conservative the interactions had been. You spoke only when he asked about your destination. You spent the trip trying to articulate your report and let the thought of the exiled Zenin remain rooted in the backseat of your train of thought.

The driver dropped you off and sped off in a hurry, you shrugged and began walking toward the meeting room to give your report but saw a familiar blonde woman walking from that exact direction. You had done well in avoiding social interaction all day, you wanted to conserve your social energy and you knew she was going to drain you dry. 

“Gojo!” She had caught sight of you before you even had the chance to escape. You let your shoulders drop in defeat and waited for the women to reach you. “Coming back from a mission?” 

You let out a grunt in response as you began walking away. You truly hated small talk. Scratch that, you hated all kinds of talks. You especially hated talks with Yuki Tsukumo, your forced-upon “best friend.” After high school. you spoke with her only when you saw her and you’ve blocked her number on multiple occasions. Yuki was used to your lackluster replies and took your noise as an answer.

She had something she needed to tell you but she couldn’t remember it at the moment so as she tried to rummage through her vault of memories she decided to trail behind you and try to strike up a conversation which again was met with noises on your end. At a certain point, you checked your phone to check the time and saw it was already 6 and started to speed up. The blonde being perspective as ever noticed and gasped. That woman was dramatic and usually wrong in her assumptions but this scenario just so happened to align with her delusions.

“You’re meeting someone!” She exclaimed, somehow appearing in front of you and managing to stop you in your tracks.

You were wishing on a star that your cheeks hadn’t combusted in flames at her assumptions as you asserted with a false narrative, “You’re insane. I simply want to be done with the day and not deal with you.”

It was 6 pm, the stars hadn’t clocked in for their shift while the biggest was just starting to clock out. Your cheeks were ablaze and Yuki was soaking in the expression and the implications of it.

She shook your shoulders and exclaimed a little too loud, “Oh my god, it is a date!”

You slammed your hand on her mouth while you tried looking around to see if anyone was around to hear her. Once you saw the school looked to be barren of any human life, you decided to play it safe and pull her to a secluded place behind one of the buildings to continue the conversation. Removing your hand off her mouth, you began to speak, “It’s not a date and keep your voice down. If the wrong person hears that I’d be crucified.” 

In your classification of “wrong person”, it would be anyone who wasn’t you or Yuki. Your ring finger was a hot commodity in the community so if word got out that you were seeing someone. Well, you’d rather not imagine it too much.

She ignored the latter and focused on the former as she pointed to your red cheeks,  “You wouldn’t be that red if it wasn’t a date.”

“Because it’s not.”

She raised an eyebrow at you and asked, “Is that what the guy said?”

She got you there.

You gave up on trying to deny her claims and just began to comply. You felt like a little kid who had just got caught terrorizing the corridor walls with permanent markers and now was being interrogated for it. It was even more humiliating having been interrogated by none other than that woman. I never met her but based on how you described her she reminds me of someone else I know.

You let out a noise of denial and she sighed at that. “If he says it’s a date then it’s a date. Seems pretty straightforward to me.” The blonde-haired woman insisted, shrugging before relaxing her body against the wall of the building. “Men don’t have the mental capabilities to be that complex. If they are, it’s because they are stupid not because they are by any means smart.”

You mimicked her actions before huffing out a response, “If he says anything at all it should be taken with a grain of salt.”

“Hmm, you should stop giving everything double-meaning and start taking stuff for face value, Gojo. It will save you a lot of headaches in the future.” She suggested with no actual bias towards her words. 

Perhaps it would and you should start giving people the benefit of the doubt. “I would if he was worth taking at face value. That man doesn’t have an ounce of seriousness in him.” Just not today or any other day. Maybe that suggestion would work for somebody else.

“Maybe I would agree if you told me who this mystery man was.” Yuki quipped, for no reason to help and all the reason to be nosey in your love life. She has asked you time and time again what your type is. She has guessed every kind of generic person under the sun - you would say they were too bland. She would suggest the most mysterious person that countered the moon —- you’d grow irritated and say they are too complex for someone who doesn’t care. She would describe the flashiest man with a charisma so fiery it made the stars pale in comparison —- you grew uninterested and would seek refuge on land. 

“Not important enough to mention.”

Oh, how you’d be eating your words. 

“Boo.” The woman said as she stuck her tongue out at you. She'll get it out of you eventually. Either by your admission or through word of mouth. For now, she resigned her interest in your love interest and signed on to direct your outfit.  She gave you a once over and asked, “What do you plan on wearing?”

You followed her eyes and grew curious at her words, “What do you mean? I’m going like this?”

Outside of your kimonos, which you wore daily, you wore the required Jujutsu uniform. It was tailored to the same fashion of a kimono with a slight modern take; the flared and oversized sleeves, the plunging neckline that would’ve flashed your cleavage modestly if you weren’t wearing a black tank top underneath, a thick black belt that was made to mimic an obi, and a maxi skirt hemline that hardly exposed your feet or ankles. 

The butter-haired woman was left slack-jawed and appalled. Surely, you were kidding. She had to make sure you were.

“Seriously?”

“Seriously.”

You were dressed too modestly to appeal to a modern man. Not that Yuki was one to abide by social stigmas but she needed to help her “friend” get laid. Sure, you were forced on spontaneous adventures with Yuki, all being illegal/irresponsible, but to her knowledge, you were still a virgin. All the blind dates she’d try setting you up on would result in her getting a text from the guy asking for your number since you’d “forgotten” to give it to them. You having any sort of interest in a guy was a miracle and she was going to help in whatever way she could.

“Are you free right now?” 

For you? “Not really, no.”

“Great, I still have time.” Her previous question was spoken out of courtesy. From the get-go, she was going to abduct you. She grabbed your arm and turned you around at a speed only a madwoman could achieve. 

You, a loyal abider of rules, were frantically trying to remind her of your duties. “What about my reports?! I have to turn them in before I leave!”

An imaginary light bulb shined over the woman’s head and suddenly the information she was supposed to tell you came rushing in. She gave you a cheeky smile and replied sheepishly, “Oh, forgot to mention. They got caught up with something they left a while ago.”

“You conveniently forgot to mention that!” She was too focused on trying to get to the dorms to reply to you. She didn’t know how much time she had before you had to meet this mystery man but given how eager you were to leave a few minutes ago she knew she was running on a time crunch.

She stopped before her old dorm room and fished her pockets for any tiny object she could use to shimmy her way through the lock. “I’m sure no one has taken over my dorm. I’m sure I left some clothes that you can borrow.”

“Breaking and entering is a great lesson to teach the kids.” You said as you appointed yourself as a lookout. 

Yuki looked at you unamused and countered “We aren’t teachers. We aren’t responsible for whether they see us as moral compasses.” 

It was fair enough but you would never verbally allow yourself to agree with anything Yuki Tsukumo said. Instead, you let her continue to try to unlock the door. Fortunately for you both, it didn’t take long seeing as the doorknob was older than the two of you. 

Unfortunately, Yuki was right again. The dorm appeared to be vacant but held memorabilia that would link the last tenant to the woman standing beside you. Though it was almost barren, the residual pieces of posters that were stuck on the wall via double-sided tape, the school-issued desk that had been painted black because Yuki hated the original color but due to the chipped paint and the poor paint job the original mahogany wood became visible, the latch of the window bolted down by your former principal to keep her from sneaking out; all of this remained visible. Neither one of you was the type to reminisce or get nostalgic over stuff like this. For that reason, Yuki made a beeline toward her old closet that was filled with a good selection of clothes; all of which were appropriate for a night out. Dresses that left little to the imagination, skirts that could cover half of a person’s ass at best, shirts that bordered undergarments, weapons that traditionally are called heels; any article of clothing you thought following those descriptions are most likely there. 

While Yuki rummaged through her clothes, she asked, “So where is he taking you? A dingy bar? Crappy movie? Dinner at a supposed 4-star restaurant with decent appetizers at best?” 

Every scenario felt specific and had you wondering how many bad dates that woman had been on. While she was sorting through her clothes, you made the risky choice of sitting on her old bed, praying that it wasn’t infested by any sort of bed bug. “Some restaurant in Roppongi. I think it’s called The Turnover. I haven’t heard of the place before.” You answered with your tone sounding departed from the conversation as you turned your head from side to side trying to inspect the bed for any bugs. When you feel a sensation making contact with your hand, you almost yelped expecting to see a tiny bug but instead, you were met with a tube top that grazed your hand. You look up to see the woman gazing at you as if you had grown two heads. 

“He is taking you to The Turnover? The most exclusive restaurant in all of Japan?! That’s the kind of place where rich people wear sweatpants if they want to.” The blonde explained in awe. 

This was new information for you but it must’ve not been riveting as you asked, gesturing to your clothes, “So I could go like this?”

“Are you rich by any chance?” You chose to remain quiet. The Gojo were wealthy but not on a global scale where other rich people would know who you are. 

She smirks at your lack of response and begins to narrow down potential options for you. Be it as it may, she did want you to be comfortable in what you wore; however, she did want to briefly and very briefly cross that line. Nothing too crazy and nothing you weren’t already familiar with. It was difficult to find an option from all of the clothing pieces she had but she landed on a true black sleeveless maxi dress that had gorgeous ruffled hems that laid asymmetrically on the lower half of the dress while it had an identical singular ruffled fabric piece dangling on top of the right arm; alongside that the waistline had sophisticated ruching that was certainly going to suction your figure in. She didn’t throw them at you like the dress but she did hand you a pair of black point-toe slingback pumps that had a decorative bow. As for a purse, she just handed you a black suede clutch seeing it’s the only sort of bag that was left in her closet. It was the perfect mix of classy and sexy.  It was an outfit that a femme fatale in a noir film would wear to a dinner she’d treat herself to after exploiting a man for all he has. 

She threw the dress in your face and demanded, “This. Put it on.”

You didn’t have time to argue with the woman. You could see from the dim of the sun that slightly permeated through the minimal openings of the blinds that it was nearing 7. You also didn’t bother to tell her to turn around when you started to take off your clothes and neither did she. It wasn’t anything she hadn’t seen before. 

As expected, the dress fits you. Though the original furniture was left in the dorm, there had been an absence of a mirror. From observing your figure with your eyes alone, you knew this was out of your comfort zone. All you had to go off was Yuki’s look of content at her work. 

“I didn’t leave any makeup or jewelry behind so this is the best I can do with what we have.” She surmised before glancing at her phone to check the time. “Is he picking you up or are you meeting there?”

“He didn’t mention much of anything. He just gave me the date, time, and place. I’m assuming we are meeting up there at 8.”

She let out a sigh of relief as it was 7:15 and the drive to Roppongi wasn’t much of a long one from the school. 

“Fortunately for you, I’m free for the rest of the day. I’ll take you on my motorcycle.” You paled at her offer but knew she was your only option. If you requested a driver from the school, especially one like the one you just had, there is no doubt in your mind that they would start telling people you were meeting someone. Instead of verbally replying, you dropped your shoulders in defeat and started to walk out of the room with an overly enthusiastic Yuki in tow.

Her motorcycle was in good condition and that did alleviate some fear that you had when it came to riding it. That all came crashing down when you noticed she only had one helmet.

“You aren’t going to wear one? Isn’t that illegal? What if you get stopped?” 

She had been getting ready to sit on the seat when she quirked an eyebrow towards you and asked, “What? Do you want me to wear it instead?”

“Die for all I care.” You responded as you started to place the helmet on your head. It was a foreign feeling to have to wear something like that and it was bordering discomfort but better to be uncomfortable than dead. After securing it on your head, you positioned yourself behind her and made sure to hold onto her waist for dear life. 

The woman chuckled at your response/actions but didn’t provide a retort. Instead, she revved up the engine, made sure to adjust her mirrors, and saw that everything was working fine before taking off. You were half-expecting her to be an erratic driver with no regard for pedestrians but even you could give this woman her flowers when they were deserved; she drove the speed limit, was cautious of other drivers, and managed to get you to the restaurant with 10 minutes to spare.

“Thank you for the ride. How much do you want for the gas money?” You asked as you began to pull out your wallet from your clutch. She cut you off as she fished out a small package from her jacket and gestured it towards you.

“No need. Just accept this and consider it even.” It was a pack of condoms. She had driven off and left you with a pack of condoms in the most affluent neighborhood in all of Japan. Fortunately, you had shoved them into your clutch before anyone took notice of the obscene “gift.” 

Previously, your back was facing away from the restaurant, and having turned to start walking towards it you understood why Yuki was in shock when you told her this was the place you were going. Having been thrown off by the condoms, you were now viewing the building for the first time. In all honesty, you are expecting a 3-star restaurant at best. Not a sky-rise restaurant that had passersby admiring the building from afar and not daring to get anywhere near it. If you hadn’t been invited you would’ve flocked to their side as well.

You took a deep breath to ground yourself but before you were about to enter through the automatic window-fashioned doors a whistle sounded behind you. Usually, you would’ve ignored that kind of unwanted attention but you heard familiar footsteps approach you and simply turned around to face your “date” for the night who was taking his time in appreciating your appearance. He had thought you were attractive in your kimonos but seeing you outside of traditional Japanese clothing. He was having trouble not letting his eyes wander to every part of your body that was being sucked in by the dress's fabric. If you had given him the opportunity, he would’ve had you bent over in a nearby alleyway as he drilled into you with every insatiable amount of energy he had.

While he did his lookover, you did the same for him. He traded in his compression shirt for a black dress shirt that could very well have been made with the same fit as one, a matching black tie and black tapered slacks. You had to make a conscious effort to not gulp at the sight of him. 

“Got all dressed up for our date? I’m honored you put in the effort. You’re truly living up to your nickname, doll.” He teased as toyed with the piece of ruffled fabric that dangled off your shoulder. 

“Not a date.” You affirmed, slapping his hand away from the fabric and reminding him, “You would’ve known that if you took the time to check my messages. I was promised a nice meal and that’s what I’m here for. Nothing more, nothing less.”

“I was busy trying to secure you this meal. The payout for this job was hefty so eat to your heart's content. I’m not one to let a woman pay for a meal.” He could practically see you begin to salivate at the implication of unlimited free food. 

As you entered the building, you both were met with a societally attractive man dressed in a black suit standing in front of the elevator leading up to the restaurant with a decently sized podium that had a booklet on top of it hiding the lower half of his body. He had just been done checking in a couple when he noticed you approach the podium and his pupils practically shaped themselves to be hearts.

“Do you have a reservation tonight, ma’am?” The man asked, clearly excluding Toji from the interaction. Rather than feeling offended by this, he was amused. He wanted to see how audacious this man could be.

“Yes, a reservation for two.” You caught on to this as well and made sure to emphasize the “two” but the host didn’t seem to pay any mind to it. He acknowledged Toji with an antagonistic gaze that tettered into almost provoking territory. Toji lifted a brow at this and instead of backing down the man seemed to take it as him challenging him.

“I see. What would your name be?” The man asked as he tried to be suave in his delivery but saw you to be unaffected. He coughed and caught himself, “For the reservation.”

“You won’t need it. The reservation isn’t under my name.” 

Having had enough of his fill, Toji stepped in. He wrapped an arm around your waist as if it was second nature for him and leaned forward over your shoulder to respond for you, “Toji Zenin.”

The man visibly deflated and directed you to the elevator behind you, “Right, of course. You guys can go through there and another host will seat you when you arrive.”

You nodded your head and walked ahead of Toji, who bumped shoulders with the host and whispered in the guy's ear, “Eyes shouldn’t be looking at shit that ain’t yours, kid. You wouldn’t even know what to do with a woman like that.”

Though you heard none of what was said, you did watch the host tense from the interaction and Toji walked into the elevator looking smug.

You saw his face smeared with absolute pride and had to interrogate him about the cause, “I don’t even want to guess what you told the poor guy.” 

He laughed and shrugged his shoulders, “Just told the kid he should get his eyes checked.”

You gave him an unimpressed look and corrected him, “Kid? He had to be around our age.”

He pouted like one of those easily angered mutts and barked, “Don’t care.”

When the elevator doors opened, you were greeted by another host. This one was much older than the one downstairs and also a man but seemed to have a far more professional aura to him seeing as he acknowledged the both of you and didn’t bother with unnecessary small talk.

He gave you a set of menus and sat you both in the balcony section which overlooked the whole of Roppongi, it was breathtaking and truly a view only the best of money could buy. 

“What do you say? Does this view beat the garden?” He asked in jest as he took notice of how entranced you had become in the scenery. Your evergreens were replaced with industrialized buildings and skyscrapers but it illuminated the stars so heavenly you had to verbally appreciate them in their honor.

You held a gaze to the stars that you were used to observing from the comfort of your garden. “It comes a close second but nothing comes close to those asymmetrical hedges that you cut.” Though only the location changed, they appeared to be far more extravagant than they usually were. 

“You gave me some pathetic excuse for hedge trimmers. Blame the machinery.” He defended before diverting his attention to the menu and you soon followed in tow.

As you were skimming through the hard-to-pronounce menu options, you began to wonder. Is this the place where he takes all the women he meets? It was a wandering thought you had when he first invited you out but now being in the restaurant it felt different. You weren’t curious out of insecurity or for the need to feel special. You just wanted new teasing material seeing as he had so much on you. Not tearing your eyes away from the Farro Mafaldine, you asked, “So what number does this make me?”

“Huh?” He asked, raising his eyes to meet yours.

You held contact wanting to gauge his answer more so on his expression than his words, “You’ve taken women here before, no? What number does that make me?”

His green eyes watched as your blue ones anticipated his words. He closed his menu, having already decided on a pasta variant, and answered truthfully, “Consider yourself lucky. You’d be the first. Never even been to this place before. It was recommended to me by someone I know.” 

You could retell this story to me millions of times — rework the narrative, sprinkle in additional information, hell even reinvent the story altogether. Though this man has lied about minuscule and pointless things, I chose to believe this version of the story.

You hid your surprise well as you cleared your throat to mask any emotion while letting your eyes graze seek asylum in the menu as you decided the Farro Mafaldine seemed less appetizing now, “Just know I’m not completely sold but because you are paying I’m inclined to give you the benefit of the doubt.”

“If that’s all it takes, let’s start planning our next date.” There he goes, referring to it as a date. It was almost taunting from your perspective. It was either his way or no way is how you described him to me.

The host from earlier approaches with a pen and pad in hand, and you let the topic die out. The only meal you had was breakfast but it was reduced in size because you shared it with Satoru. You needed food and fast food.

On top of a dim ambiance and stellar view, the food came out with efficiency and tasted like ambrosia. I never considered you a drinker, but you described that dinner to be on the night you had drunk far too many. The rest of the dinner was surprisingly pleasant. The usual urge to cut an outing short wasn’t present and you enjoyed being able to converse freely with him. For the most part, the conversation was driven by the prompt of 20 questions. It was all basic questions that you would know about someone — favorite color, favorite movie, favorite song, etc. A few flirty exchanges but you blamed the two cups of red wine and Toji’s natural personality for that. The night would continue even after Toji had paid for the meal as you both wandered through the streets of Roppongi.

While walking aimlessly, you happened to stumble upon a Hinokicho park that was devoid of both people and artificial lighting. All there was to illuminate the park was the radiance of the moon and stars which led you to a pond that was hidden amongst cedar and pagoda trees. 

“Wanna do something fun?” Toji asked as he watched a cast of light from the night sky appear in between the ripples of water.

You genuinely didn’t feel like letting the night end so the proposal to prolong it sounded appealing.

 “Like what?”

“Ever been skinny dipping?” 

On second thought. 

“W-What? Do you want to do that right now? What if someone sees?” He was impressed that you were more concerned about being seen by other people than by him. If you didn’t want to get undressed that was fine with him, he had an adrenaline that was fueled by the alcohol he had been drinking throughout the dinner and he needed it to be released somehow. He started to tug his tie loose, tossing it aside as he prepared to unbutton his dress shirt too, he said,  “Not much of an exhibitionist, are you? Guess I had you all wrong that night.”

“I’m cautious of my image.” You mumbled out as you wrapped your arms around yourself regretting the choice to wear a sleeveless dress. Though you mumbled he heard you along with the ringing of the cicadas and was confident in his rebuttal.

“No one is here. Let alone anyone who knows either of us. It’s just you and me.”

His words weren’t meant to soothe you, he was just stating a fact. Even if they were meant for that, it only made you all the more nervous. Especially when he had finished unbuttoning his shirt and taken off the undershirt his abs were out on full display. You had an image of how the upper half of his body would look due to his usual tight-fitted shirts but to see that image become true was something you never thought you would ever see. You saw his hand drift to his belt and you made the conscious choice to turn away from him. 

Wrong move. 

“I hope you know that doesn’t make it any better.” You heard his belt buckle unfasten and his pants drop and you were beginning to start to cash in another favor from the stars hoping this one would be tangible.

Even with your guard as indomitable as it had been, you somehow felt a breath graze your neck and the sensation of his hands ghosting on either side of your waist, you could sense the mischief in his tone as he spoke,  “Not supposed to but it should make you less mad at me.” 

“Mad at you?” His hands latched onto your sides and pulled your back into his chest as he began to walk backward to the pond, “No no don’t – Toji!” The stars were in dire need of entertainment and you had been failing to provide any for some time now. They considered this as a form of compensation. Trust, they twinkled as you bobbed your head from out of the water. 

The boisterous laughs of Toji bounced off the trees as he was doubled over at your appearance. The pond was 4ft at most yet you had managed to get drenched given how you’d fallen in. You may not have been naked but might as well have been. Your dress had already been form-fitted so with the mix of water it simply suctioned in anything that hadn’t been before like your undergarments. Your white hair melts into your skin and your suede pumps imprint an uncomfortable sensation on your feet. 

You yelled as you shivered from the added coldness of water that tattooed itself onto your body, “You asshole! I’m freezing!”

The man composed himself before answering you, “You wanted fun. That’s me making you have fun.”

“What about that was fun?! Look at me I’m all wet and you’re—“ It seems you would finally come to and take notice of the naked man in front of you that was allowing you and all of the surrounding nature to bear witness to his body. The Heavenly Pact held its end of the agreement and gifted him a body that would’ve had him confused as a mythological god. 

“You barely realized that I was naked?” He mocked as he soaked your expression of anger that he found himself searching for constantly. 

“Put some clothes on! Aren’t you cold?!” You exclaimed trying to focus your blue eyes everywhere but his direction.

You imagined he shook his head as he responded, “I’m enjoying the breeze. It’s honestly not that bad out.” Toji was desensitized to people seeing him naked. The multiple one-night stands and overall lack of care for self-image aided in his comfort in being nude. 

“I don’t care if you’re enjoying it! I don’t want to see all that!” You said using your forearm to block him from your view.

“Putting on clothes defeats the purpose of skinny dipping.” He reminded you while he leaned his body against a decently sized rock and rested his eyes, “Just relax and stop thinking.”

Stop thinking. First Yuki and now him. He seemed so tranquil and it couldn’t hurt to do the same, right? The alcohol haze could contribute to your daringness but your hand had unsuspectingly traveled to the zipper on your back and began to zip it off of you. It was stuck to your body and you had to put in extra work to take it off but when it did you placed the dress on a nearby rock that was further away from the one Toji was leaning against. The chill from earlier became much more prominent but the adrenaline was overcoming all your senses. 

If he hadn’t decided to open his eyes as a result of the water splashing your movements had made when you were beginning to take off your bra, you would’ve gained the confidence to take it off. He was aware of this due to your fingers that were heading toward the clasp of your black bra. Toji has seen different variations of bras— lacey, sheer, heavily padded, animal print, etc. It was a bra that he had taken off of women who didn’t do anything for him usually; however, he cursed himself for opening his eyes when he did. He immediately closed his eyes to pretend he hadn’t seen anything in hopes of you gaining courage.  A small wave of water splashed against his chest and he resigned himself to his plan.

“Nice try.”

He opened his eyes in defeat and allowed his gaze to be known on your figure. The shiver that coursed through you was something you blamed the weather and his viridescent eyes registered it to be the cause of that too.  He slid over to create a vacant space while extending his hand in a come over here gesture. 

“If you keep standing there, you might freeze over with the pond.” He explained noticing your hesitance.

“I’m fine.” You affirmed trying your best to not wrap your arms around yourself. “Besides I doubt too wet bodies are going to produce any body heat.”

“Doll, you’re a sorcerer, not a scientist. The combination of our body heat should be enough to keep you from freezing.” He countered as he left his hand extended and laughed when you ignored it but took up the vacant spot. You left a distance between the two of you and he scoffed, “You gotta get closer for it to work, you know.”

“I can feel it just fine from over here.” You retorted and instead of you getting closer to him, he got closer to you. He saw you were about to protest but intervened before you could.

“You’re doing it again.” 

“Doing what?” You said feigning innocence. 

“Thinking.” He replied as he wrapped an arm around your bare shoulders to secure you in place and you indeed did stop thinking at that very moment. You’ve been close to Toji before but never close enough to feel his bare chest against your cheek.

You shifted your head to lay on his collarbones instead and countered, “One of us has to do it because you sure as hell won’t. When was the last time you ever thought something through?”

He lived life pretty mindlessly and without consequence. Job offers weren’t up for debate— money is money. Going to see you in the garden was muscle memory and a force of habit. This direction that this date had taken was entirely on instinct rather than planning.  He thought about it for a moment before answering, “2 years ago, probably. When I left the clan.”

You took the “stop thinking” into consideration and immersed yourself in the conversation without worry, “It’s already been 2 years? I guess I should say congratulations on being able to survive thus far.”

You could feel the huff he let out resonating against your cheek, “You congratulate people who win awards or perform civil duties, not men like me who kill for a living.”

You didn’t disagree, “Fair but it must have been difficult having to adjust to that lifestyle, no? It is something to be impressed by.”

He didn’t want to stay on the topic and instead found salvation in the stars that had been aiding him throughout the night, “Whatever. How about you and those stars?”

“What about them?” You felt yourself smile at the opportunity to speak about them to someone. 

“I always see you looking at them. Got any kind of shitty explanation like you did with the flowers? Gonna tell me that they are the center of the universe or something?” He mocked in jest but the smile on your face remained regardless.

You sighed out in admiration, “I always found myself relating to them.”

“Kind of narcissistic to compare yourself to the stars, doll.” He joked.

“And it seems narcissistic to keep thinking you have a chance with me, Toji,” You returned and he allowed you to continue your spiel, “What I mean is people acknowledge them at face value. Yes, they are beautiful; yes, they shine brightly but what about their stories? Constellations have stories but what about the individual stars that make up those constellations?” 

You weren’t expecting him to understand your comparison. In the same way that he didn’t understand your flower analogy. You thought maybe it was a bit narcissistic to compare yourself to the same caliber as a star. However, it would seem he understood this analogy completely as he replied, “Hmm, I guess that makes some sense.”

Somehow the conversation diverted after that. You assumed it was because you spoke too much and your spiel was a little too corny. Regardless of what it was, you enjoyed the freezing pond and the man-made heater for another hour before you began to deem it too late. Toji hadn’t tried anything and remained respectful of your boundaries, understanding that you were in a vulnerable state. You also didn’t make an effort to remove yourself from him for the duration of your time inside of the pond. You hated to admit it to me but you enjoyed the comfort of being in his arms. 

Your dress was still completely drenched and you were beginning to panic at the thought of having to leave half-nude. The thought was fleeting as you felt a piece of fabric drape over your shoulders– it was Toji’s overshirt. It smelled just like him — raisin rum with an intoxicating hint of cologne. You turned to face him to see him already nearly dressed. All that was left was putting on his undershirt which he was in the middle of putting on. You watched as he looped his arms and his head through the holes and then took sight of you.

If you weren’t so stubborn to retell this portion of the story, you would’ve admitted that he smiled at you; however, you said it was an apparition of a distant smile, “Looks good on you. You should keep it.”

He approaches you and starts to button the shirt up for you. His fingers, though so scarred and rough, ghosted your skin mercifully. He buttoned nearly all of them minus the top one and huffed in contentment.

“Don’t need other people looking at what’s mine.” He states and anticipates your retaliation.

You laughed at his words and pushed him away, “Someone is going to overhear you one day and start making false assumptions about our relationship.”

He raised a brow and challenged, “Yeah? And what is our relationship? Friends with benefits?”

“That would imply that there were benefits.” You replied as you began to walk towards the section of the dry land that you had left your belongings in.

“There could be. You’re still a virgin. Don’t you want to lose it to someone who isn’t some Zenin or Kamo scum?” He suggested as he followed closely in toe.

“Need I remind you that you are still a Zenin and are very scummy.” You retaliate, not at all taking the conversation seriously and trying to collect all your belongings.

He ignored your comment and almost began to plead, “Seriously, think about it. It’s a win-win. You get laid by someone experienced and who you know and I get to fuck a really hot chick.”

“You swoon me with your words.” 

“You keep denying your attraction to me but I know the way you look at me. It’s not a friendly gaze.” It was his signature phrase when trying to convince you to admit your attraction to him. He needed you to know that he was serious about this arrangement and that he wasn’t going to take no until you heard him out. 

And he did just that. You felt yourself gulp and slowed your movements in gathering your belongings, “Oh yeah? And what kind of look would that be?”

“Like you want me to bend you over.” He said with a sultry consonance to his voice. “No need to feel ashamed because trust I want to do the same to you. Maybe even worse.”

You didn’t deny his accusations nor acknowledge them. You let it be up to interpretation but you both knew better.  

Ultimately, you sighed in defeat because, in all honesty, you didn’t want to lose it to someone you were arranged to marry especially to a relative of Toji’s. On the slim chance that you develop feelings for the man you are supposed to marry, it might benefit you to know what to do. Okay, maybe that was pushing it but the offer didn’t sound entirely bad. 

“Hypothetically, if this were to happen. Where would we do it? Though I love my garden, I am not entirely keen on outdoor sex.” You asked, finally facing the man who looked like a dog wagging his tail from side to side.

“Easy, we’ll do it at my place.” He rapid-fired as if he had the answer locked and loaded.

“Sure, that would work. Next, let’s set some boundaries and non-negotiables. If one of us disagrees with the other’s non-negotiable or if we both agree and the other dishonors it the whole thing is called off, deal?” You reasoned and knew this fantasy would not last past your first non-negotiable but Toji was resilient. “Luckily for you, I only have one.”

He nodded his head, “Shoot.” 

“My only non-negotiable is neither of us can fuck other people.”  You smirked as you saw his expression falter from the previous excited one and you continued, “We can go on dates, flirt with other people, and even kiss other people. However, neither one of us can fuck other people. If I find out you fucked another woman then this whole thing is over. Think you can handle that, womanizer?”

“You play dirty, doll.” He enjoyed fucking and disliked being tied down to something but he was willing to try. The idea of you flirting and kissing other men wasn’t a pleasant one and the idea of you fucking someone other than him irritated him to no end. You were an extremely attractive woman and there were plenty of men that would want to let you know that. Toji wasn’t insecure by this, no, he just knew if he saw that he’d—we’ll get to those stories eventually. “My non-negotiable is that we have to tell each other if we are meeting other people.”

You found that reasonable enough and nodded in agreement. As you were talking you managed to pick up all your belongings which weren’t much, just your dress and your clutch. You walked up to him and extended your hand, “Shake on it?”

He glanced at your hand and watched as his viridescent eyes darkened as they set camp on your lips, he suggested, “How about we seal the deal with a kiss? Makes for good practice.”

Though you were aware he was doing it to fulfill his selfish desire, his suggestion wasn’t bad. If you were to become friends with benefits, kissing comes with the territory and that’s by far the least daunting aspect of the whole arrangement.

You nodded again as you lowered your hand before taking a deep breath and telling him—-even though it felt like it was directed more toward yourself, “Practice. This is just practice. Don’t want you pulling anything, got it Zenin”

“Yes ma’am” is all he said before you felt his lips on yours and a hand resting in the conjugation of your neck and jaw. It wasn’t a peck nor was it a make out, it was a kiss. You were caught off guard by the new sensation and didn’t know how to react to it. All you knew is you didn’t mind it and that whatever he was doing you were trying your best to mimic it which you did earning you the sensation of feeling Toji’s scarred lips smirk into the kiss.

You pulled away but he spoke first.

“Not bad for your first kiss, doll.”

“Shut up.”

From afar, the kiss could be confused as a couple sharing a passionate kiss underneath the night sky basking in the nature that encapsulates their moment perfectly. 

The stars twinkled in glee and as I retell this I secretly do too.

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soliloquy: an act of speaking one's thoughts when by or regardless of any , especially by a character in a play.

sorry for the late update! was recently my birthday and I spent the week celebrating so kind of forgot to post lmao.

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@cococola-cocaine @justtnat @softvgold

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Chapter 8 Updates

Working on Chapter 8 and workshopping the next chapters to come. Feel like it's kind of obvious but I don't have this story mapped out at all. The first chapter was going to stay a one-shot but due to a lot of interest on ao3 I decided I should make something out of it. From the beginning I always knew how this was going to end and the route I wanted this fanfic to take but never the in between. Therefore, the next chapters might take a while to come out because I'm trying to figure out pacing and plot development.

IMPORTANT!!

Rewriting the most recent update. Honestly, reallly disappointed with my writing on this one and the plot. I’ll still leave it up until I finish rewriting it but it’s just a heads up. Also want to preface I won’t completely change it but there will be things removed/added.

PLAYLIST?

I have a playlist I listen to when I’m writing “A Soliloquy to the Life We Never Had” to get into the mood. Would you guys be interested in me giving you guys the link to it?

UPDATED CHAPTER 6

Finally updated chapter 6 and I'm working on Chapter 7 right now!