ThingsI Think Everyoneshould Know About Stephen KingsIT (the Book)

things I think everyone should know about Stephen King’s IT (the book)

Part 1, bc i’m only 200 pages in

Stanley wears bell bottoms on his days off

Richie is gentle!af. He makes friends with everyone who works for him and tries to make them all laugh. He hangs up the phone “gently.”

Eddie understands full well that he doesn’t love Myra and only married her because she reminded him of his mother.

There’s a kind of love between them that comes from familiarity, or maybe family, but it’s never romantic and it’s very fleeting.

Their relationship is just… ugly.

He calls her Marty, though, and I think that’s sweet.

The first thing Richie remembers from Derry is being bullied. Mike says Richie was bullied the most out of all the losers.

Ben says “Beverly Hanscom” out loud and has to press his face into the grass to cool down.

Stan is Very Good in bed.

Ben only gets Really Mad at Henry Bowers when he remembers that Henry destroyed his library books and he realizes that his favorite librarian will be upset.

He proceeds to kick Henry in the balls.

The reaction of pain lasts, like, multiple paragraphs.

Patty Uris is the purest, kindest woman in the world.

Stephen King is honestly quite sexist.

He’s obsessed with women’s bodies/nipples. 

Sometimes being graphic about bodies makes sense, but nipples don’t work like that Mr. King.

It took Eddie three tries to leave his mother. 

Beverly is intensely competitive.

She keeps her nails very short so that she can’t bite them.

Turtles are a Very Big Deal. Why wasn’t this a bigger deal in the movies/miniseries?

Not much has been reviewed about Mike yet. Sorry guys. He’s had a chapter, but it’s mostly plotty backstory.

Audra is about 10 years older than Bill.

The hate crime at the beginning of IT Ch 2 is a really big deal in the book. Like, if you could be triggered, DON’T READ. Mr. King, tag your shit. Extremely upsetting and graphic. I mean, it’s a “horrorbook” (as Patty would call it), but that’s not even clown shit.

Patty and Stan had the healthiest relationship in the world.

I need to go to Walgreens because I am not feeling happy or healthy right now 

HAHA @wadebramwilson​ calls me out and I deserve it

Apparently a lot of people get dialogue punctuation wrong despite having an otherwise solid grasp of grammar, possibly because they’re used to writing essays rather than prose. I don’t wanna be the asshole who complains about writing errors and then doesn’t offer to help, so here are the basics summarized as simply as I could manage on my phone (“dialogue tag” just refers to phrases like “he said,” “she whispered,” “they asked”):

“For most dialogue, use a comma after the sentence and don’t capitalize the next word after the quotation mark,” she said.

“But what if you’re using a question mark rather than a period?” they asked.

“When using a dialogue tag, you never capitalize the word after the quotation mark unless it’s a proper noun!” she snapped.

“When breaking up a single sentence with a dialogue tag,” she said, “use commas.”

“This is a single sentence,” she said. “Now, this is a second stand-alone sentence, so there’s no comma after ‘she said.’”

“There’s no dialogue tag after this sentence, so end it with a period rather than a comma.” She frowned, suddenly concerned that the entire post was as unasked for as it was sanctimonious.

confession prompted by: I was going to each a mini crunch bar at 11 at night and his voice popped up in my head telling me not to eat like shit

just made the grave mistake of telling my mom I have a crush on mads mikkelsen’s hannibal

“Also there’s that time there’s a cold going around” 

Geralt licks into Jaskier’s mouth like a dog

Commonly accepted fact: Witchers don’t get sick and have advanced healing.

Theory: Their saliva is antibacterial/disinfectant.

Do they have fresh breath first thing after waking up in the morning and french-kissing your witcher is as refreshing as rinsing wit mouthwash?

Can they literally kiss your wounds better?

Because I can see applications for that.

Of the “Geralt does not have soft, squishy feelings for Jaskier, he’s only kissing him for medical reasons” variety.

Whisper-soft kisses placed with the utmost care on the hot, swollen skin of Jaskier’s side, tender but meticulous as he follows the line of stitches he put there himself earlier. Each kiss is an apology for the bite of the needle, the drag-pull of thread through trembling flesh Geralt had held in place, his hand a vice against Jaskier’s instinctive attempts to evade the pain. Up the red, angry line, and down.

And once he’s done, once he has washed and stitched and [kissed] disinfected where the claw carved into the soft, defenseless skin of his stomach, levered him up into a sitting position, carefully, carefully, and wrapped a bandage around Jaskier’s middle.

Then, almost finished, he slips behind Jaskier and lets him lean back against his chest, because it’s warmer than the ground and Jaskier is shaking with pain and shock and exhaustion, and lifts Jaskier’s hands, clenched into white-knuckled fists. He uncurls finger after finger, slowly, until Jaskier’s hands lie lax in his and he can see where his nails have dug deep, bloody half-moons into his palms, and presses kisses to those, too, one, two, three kisses on the dirty, salty skin for each of the tiny wounds, because after all this Geralt will be damned if it’s the dirt under his nails that brings Jaskier down.

They sit like that all night. Geralt awake and aware, one ear on their surroundings and one on Jaskier as his short, shallow breaths slow and deepen, as his trembling eases and he slips into exhausted sleep, and Jaskier insensate, dead to the world but alive, unaware of the times when Geralt brings his hands back to his mouth and repeats his earlier actions, one, two, three, one, two, three, each kiss a benediction, simultaneously blessing and thanks that Jaskier is safe in his arms, warm and healing, that tomorrow, he will wake up, wash off the stench of blood and pain and fear, and Geralt will not have to leave this place alone.

Also, that other time there’s a cold going around. Better kiss Jaskier thoroughly. Twice a day. As a preventive measure. No hidden agenda. Only if he got sick he’d slow them down. That’s all.

Ravenclaw headcanons

because I'm feeling ✨nostalgic✨

Ravenclaw tower is so tall because they like to be in their own little world

like cats sitting on top of high shelves

“I have opinions about everything and I’m always sure they’re right”

doesn’t matter what you ask them, they’ll have a hot take

there are two factions. Ravenclaws that take school seriously, and Ravenclaws who would rather kill themselves than write that essay

faction one loves the common room in its cleanest state. hard edges and lots of study tables. like a gorgeous library. 

faction two trashes the place constantly with all of the shit from their hobbies 

tables filled with beakers and paints and books with Zero educational value

spilling onto the floor

all the space in the common room is a necessity, just to house the mess

the house elves know not to try to clean this up. Ravenclaws will become angry and distraught in they try

they argue more than the gryffindors because they /will/ die on this hill and they are not wrong

headstrong motherfuckers

they have a little game of how ridiculously they can answer the door’s riddles and still get in

startlingly few people understand that THERE IS NO PASSWORD 

Rowena Ravenclaw did this on purpose. There is no room for exclusion in a learning environment. Everyone brings something to the table. Even if they’re wrong, even if they’re bigoted, the teach everyone about the dangers of human nature—and in a perfect world, they can grow into a better person too

Ravenclaws are perfect for this task

they will take hours to dig through your years of conditioning and prejudice to explain something

and you bet your ass they succeed

converting pureblood assholes to good people is the one thing they can always come together for

that being said, Ravenclaws will turn on you just as fast as a Slytherin if you piss them off

they don’t need a password—they can and will keep you out by any means necessary

they’ll try to turn you into a better person, but hard opinions mean quick and decisive action

you cross a line, you’re done

lots of Gryffindor and Hufflepuff crossover there

not that Slytherin’s aren't capable of that, but they’ll only beat on you if you’re mean to their inner circle. strangers aren't their problem. 

woke as fuck

thinks the concept of being woke is a waste of time and a scam for famous people

I might do another post for another house? I know it’s not popular anymore, but I just… really enjoy this. idk, we’ll see what strikes my fancy.