Artbylittlebug - ✎ ̼ Emily Scally ◡̈ ⑅

Updated version of my mental health/lesbian memoir ‘Sexuality Hijacked’ now available on Etsy (Australia only) here or Amazon here! New cover design, much larger font size and I made it cheaper to print so I can sell it for cheaper (so hopefully can be shared with more people).

I realised that something seriously had to change in my life when I was in a long-term serious relationship with a man, and all I could think about was either killing myself or kissing my female coworker. I had always been attracted to women, and I thought everyone was, but ultimately we are all “supposed” to end up with a partner of the opposite sex. I believed that to be the only “normal” way of life because that was the only representation I had presented to me. On top of that, society, social media, TV shows, movies, music and books, all ingrained in me as a little girl that being perceived as attractive to men and receiving any kind of validation from a man was paramount as a woman. I saw it as something to strive for and a sense of purpose.

I was never popular amongst my peers in school. I hit puberty a lot earlier than most girls were at the time, so I looked different and I was painfully aware of it. I felt like an outcast at school and eventually turned to the internet to try and find a place where I felt accepted. This led me down a very dangerous path of engaging in adult conversations and activities with adult men on internet chat sites, most of which no longer exist for obvious reasons.

My life was permanently changed from there, and the events that followed left me with a lot of trauma and mental illness that I had to unpack from nineteen to twenty-three. I have Borderline Personality Disorder, and have struggled with anxiety, depression, self-harm, eating disorders and alcohol abuse.

The title, “Sexuality Hijacked”, comes from how my therapist described what happened to my sexuality as a child from my trauma with adult men. It was hijacked. A normal, healthy and safe, identity and sexuality development were stolen from me.

I have met many women who have felt validated from hearing of my experiences, and that is something that I believe is so valuable in the fight against mental health stigma, sexuality repression and suicide.

Article about my memoir here.

Ebook available here.

What did we do to deserve dogs