ataraxiaspainting - i just want your love, so don't waste my time...
i just want your love, so don't waste my time...

☾ ( she / her ) ( panromantic asexual ) ☽ . . ♡︎( 18+ only please ) ♥︎ ( dark content + fluff ) ♥︎ ( 18 ) ♥︎ ( infj ) ♥︎ ( aya )

557 posts

(troupe Member Of Your Choice) Reacting To A Cheating Accusation

(troupe member of your choice) reacting to a cheating accusation

“this is all a game to you isnt it?”

decided to do this request with machi! <333

Warnings: Yandere themes, unhealthy relationships, thoughts of kidnapping the reader, manipulation, stalking, and implied violence (not on the reader).

Word Count: 800.

*~*~*~*

If there was one word you could use to describe the expression on Machi’s face, it would be nothing more or less than slight horror.

It’s ever so subtle, like how an astrologer would count the stars and find one missing, or find another new one that went unnoticed in the moments before it, no matter how small or insignificant it seemed then, in the past, or the present or the future. But you have learned to read Machi, have learned from how messy her hairstyles were to tell how annoyed she felt at your neighbors, have learned from what hoodie she was wearing to tell how much she spent on gifts for you. Most of all, you have learned how to differentiate the different shades of blue her eyes can change into, become, simply from how the sun hits or from how tired she is. You can read her, but can she read you?

When two mirrors face each other, what does one of them see?

What does the other one see? Will they see themselves, or one another?

When you look into Machi’s eyes, her eyes stare back at you too, don’t they?

“...What?” She’s confused, caught off guard perhaps, at your question, from how she crosses her arms in a defensive stance to counteract the glare from your eyes.

“That friend of yours, Pakunoda… she’s with you a lot.” You don’t want to accuse your girlfriend of anything, but with how secretive she can be sometimes confrontation is the best solution.

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“You’ve also… been avoiding me.”

“Have not.”

“You have!” You blurt out, hugging yourself even tighter as you continue to weep. “If you don’t like me anymore, just say so! She’s prettier and wealthier and obviously is a much better fit for-”

“[First], please calm down.”

Machi simply notes that your insecurities are getting the better of you again.

But why?

Then, everything she has seen today while following you to work clicks into her mind, this breakdown of yours being the final missing piece in this puzzle. It’s definitive.

An investigation of sorts, to see which clues fit in what order.

A familiar face comes into her imagination. Two, actually.

Then… the number goes up all the way to twelve.

But the two original ones stay under bright light, while the others are cast in shadow.

The green-haired girl from your job, the one that always seems to pick on you, and Chrollo.

Her boss speaks first. Even in her mind, a landscape that is supposed to be only hers, he always seems to be the early bird, putting a few words in before anyone else could.

Machi, I think you are too merciful to obstacles. Continuing to be that way will only slow you down even more.

She thinks on those words. 

Impulses spread around her like a mist. Impulses she has kept down for so long for your sake, your happiness, whether that be putting pills in your food when you visit her or slicing the throat of that man who catcalls both of you whenever you walk by him at that park you like frequenting when the weather is warm.

Then that girl’s voice comes into her ears, and the mist looks red and sticks to her palms and stinks.

You’re such a low score. That girlfriend of yours can do much better.

The urge, as dark as blood, for Machi to tear everyone who has ever crossed you limb from limb.

“...I’ll be back.” She turns around, walking toward your apartment door, the needles in her jacket pocket feeling even colder in her hands. “We can talk about this later, alright? Just please calm down.”

“...Don’t break up with me, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so-”

“You didn’t do anything wrong.” She interrupts, gripping the doorknob so tightly she must focus on something else entirely to prevent her from breaking it.

“B-But then where are you going? If I’m not a good girlfriend just s-”

“Sh.” 

You sniffle. At the sight and sound, she is reminded of Pakunoda taking care of her when she was so young, crying and pulling on her sleeves, begging her to not leave her too. Those memories are bitter, most days, but sometimes they are all she can hold on to, to prevent herself from falling apart.

“Machi… you aren’t leaving me?”

“No. Never.”

“Then where are you going?”

She doesn’t answer.

You choose not to pry anymore, but the anxiety still gnaws at you from within.

Perhaps for a different reason. This gut feeling… It's horrifying. 

But you don’t know where this feeling came from. At least not yet, or maybe not ever, if Machi continues to have it her way.

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More Posts from Ataraxiaspainting

1 year ago
ataraxiaspainting - i just want your love, so don't waste my time...
You Can Only Reblog This Today.

You can only reblog this today.


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1 year ago

Cherry Wine.

Yan Chrollo x F Reader.

Synopsis: It is your last day of actual freedom, and Chrollo intends to have it end with a mix of your design and his own. Everything is perfectly set. All he has to do now is wait for you to come into the web.

Warnings: Yandere themes, a wild Feitan appears, stalking, drugging/restraining (chloroform/handcuffs), and kidnapping.

Word Count: 1k.

*~*~*~*

A familiar jingle accompanies the turntable’s rendition of Tchaikovsky’s Waltz of the Flowers. It is your keychain, moving with your key as you unlock your apartment door, moving as your feet shuffle on your doormat to get rid of the dirt the soles had acquired from walking. The sounds of tired sighs, your headphones being placed beside the rack where your jackets and umbrellas and shoes are placed. Chrollo knows all of these melodies by heart because those notes make up the beautiful orchestra that is you. 

He hears the little creaking noise of the door closing, along with the lock being turned, sealing your fate. A small sound of the closet you keep near the entrance, which holds your bags and fancier footwear like high heels. Chrollo respected the silent rule of never wearing shoes inside, something that is out of character for him whenever he breaks into other peoples’ homes, and had placed his own black loafers behind that one expensive purse you only used one time for a presentation you had to make for your professors and peers. 

He had Shalnark record the entire thing and has rewatched it multiple times, each one seeming better than the last.

Everything about you, from how you walked, how you were so expressive with your facial expressions, how you seemed to be able to befriend anyone, everything about you felt like it came from another world. Or perhaps he is the one who came from another world, metaphorically? Chrollo chuckles at the thought. It would make sense, really, Meteor City felt like another world, that is for certain.

One of your cats meows loudly, the larger but older one from the way the meow was scratchy like nails on a blackboard, most likely being right next to you. He is distressed, perhaps. Chrollo is an unwanted visitor, after all, and despite being more of a cat person, he had to deal with your cats more than your dog, oddly enough. While your dog cowered and hid under the table, whining like she had been reduced to that of the small puppy she was when you first adopted her, your cats teamed up to attempt to scratch his eyes out whenever they jumped on the kitchen table or couch, hissing and possibly screaming bloody murder. Somewhere deep within Chrollo’s heart, it hurts a bit.

He knows that because of your naivety, you will just pet the cat, take off your coat, and your boots, and go upstairs, where your dining table has been set by Chrollo. It’s a welcome gift, in Chrollo’s opinion, but also perhaps an apology one as well.

As soon as you walk into the kitchen, your fate is as doomed as a little fly caught in a spider’s web.

“Come on,” You grumble. “Already? Geez. I just got that bag too…” Are you talking to your cat? “What the hell? I know you have stomach problems but… gosh.”

Ah. Do you plan on switching out the brand of cat food again?

“I guess that’s my own fault though for getting a cat I knew has digestive issues, huh? I can’t be mad at you. You’re almost the same age as me and… that’s a lot in cat years.” Chrollo hears the sound of a yawn as he presumes you are stretching. You must be tired, you have been on your feet all day today helping out your peers with their assignments, as usual. “It’s just now I have to clean up all this puke… argh.”

Should I speed things along? 

A text message from Feitan, who has been outside your apartment door, though you didn’t see him, unsurprisingly. He is most likely getting annoyed, from the tone of the writing, because Feitan can be doing much more important things for the Troupe instead of helping you “settle in” as Chrollo put it.

That won’t be necessary. Trust me. Everything is going as planned so far, even if this is a minor setback.

The reason why Chrollo didn’t choose someone like Phinks or Nobunaga to help him with this task is because Feitan is the most silent. He can easily imagine the other two scaring you away accidentally if they accidentally lose their cover.

The table is set, with flowers and books and other things you love. All he has to do is wait.

You should have just brought Machi.

Chrollo sighs at that, just barely audible. But he knows Feitan is nothing but loyal to him, so he knows that he will not try anything that he does not like.

Machi is busy shopping with Paku and Shizuku for the other things I need for [First], it would be rude to ruin their own task, Fei.

With that, Chrollo’s message is left on read.

Everything is going according to plan, and Feitan will not ruin it, even if he had wanted to.

All that is left is to wait. You’ll come on your own.

Feitan is only here if you attempt to run afterward, after you see your gifts, after all.

He hears footsteps, coming up the stairs, at long last.

One.

Two.

A large meal is placed on the side of the table that has an empty chair. Chrollo sits across, smiling. Plates and bowls filled with things that are sweet, savory, and everything else in between. They are all your favorites, Chrollo double-checked with Shalnark before he had left. Other items are placed on the table as well, like that jewelry set you were eyeing last week but unfortunately was too expensive for you. You were trying to limit how much you spend, a good habit to build surely. It is a shame you will never get to use that skill, though. Unless Chrollo gives you an allowance each week based on how well you behave, an entertaining concept in his opinion, but if it ever becomes reality it will have to wait a few weeks at the very least.

Three.

Four.

Five.

Six.

Chrollo also had Feitan carry handcuffs, in case the chloroform does not work as it was intended to.

But that is after you two talk, it would be rude to not introduce himself and show off everything he has bought for you.

Seven.


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1 year ago

Hello!!

I just wanted to say that I very recently stumbled across your Chrollo yandere analysis and completely fell in love. I’ve binge read all of your writings for him and just want to say thank you!!

The way that you write him is so haunting, unsettling and wildly attractive! I can’t wait to keep reading ♡

Hello!!

gasp!!!!!! (happy noises)

mr chrollo sure is a character… he is like a seastorm and you never know when the tides will swoop in, much the less what lurks underneath the seawater. could be jewels, relics of the past, an existential crisis… you never know what’s going to happen. that’s the thrill of it, i think. darling never knows what he is going to do next, how much he knows, and that adds to the lucilferhorror™️ experience. even he doesn’t know what he is going to do, deep down, as he has no sense of identity himself.

psychological horror is a huge love of mine, so hopefully i’ll be able to do it justice in later works with chrollo and other characters! there is just this fear of the unknown that is so tempting to write for…

especially when it comes to hier encore darling, i feel that her relationship with chrollo definitely has some psychological horror potential. she’s definitely going to be returning soon and that’s one of the many reasons she is! just a conniving protagonist combined with a just as conniving antagonist… my pride and joy of a trope. my favorite wine, literal ambrosia from the yandere gods themselves… nom nom. gulp gulp.

she’s gonna be in for hell when she does return, though…


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1 year ago

Talk That Talk.

Dan Heng x GN Reader.

Synopsis: Dan Heng has no idea how you can talk so much.

Word Count: 500.

*~*~*~*

You two are at it yet again.

Dan Heng does not know how to feel about you chatting it up for the fourth time this evening with March. He was not annoyed by it, no. But he is not entirely thrilled either. Dan Heng has never been one to have much intrapersonal intelligence when it comes to his emotions, so at this prospect, he is not surprised. He expected it. It is what he does best, after all, predicting what is to come and never getting too off course.

Mr. Yang stands up from his armchair, grasping his cane as he takes a few steps forward towards him, slowly, calmly, the little creaking sounds of the Astral Express’s floors somehow being comforting to Dan Heng. “Something wrong? They won’t bite your head off if you join their conversation, you know.”

The voice is whispered but still fills Dan Heng’s mind with something akin to deja vu. He can hear someone saying similar reassuring prospects to him along with a clattering noise of wine glasses touching each other as there is cheering from both others and himself.

He doesn’t remember the moment exactly, though, as much as he tries, despite closing his eyes and attempting to see forgotten memories of the past that were cast into shadow long ago. Eventually, he gives up, opening them once more to see you and March still conversing, but something is different, he notes. A small box is in your hands, covered in teal wrapping paper and knotted with white and black ribbon. When did that happen?

He has been trapped in his thoughts for far, far too long, he thinks.

Mr. Yang even went back to reading his book in his armchair, his cane looking like it had been leaning against the table for at least five minutes. Himeko is pouring freshly ground coffee beans into her French press, the press in question being emptied by you and March a few moments earlier. Dan Heng stops himself from sighing. At least he knows where all of your energy comes from.

He takes the words of Mr. Yang and that unknown person to heart. “I believe in you.”

He has to remind himself that both of them are genuine. They do believe in him, so much more than he believes in himself. It isn’t a hard thing to do, but regardless, it is still something significant. 

So, finally gathering the courage to do so, he walks towards you two. To his surprise and March’s giggling, you bow your head as you present him with the wrapped box, looking down to the floor with your cheeks a light pink.

“Took you long enough, silly! They’ve been waiting forever for you to show! I was getting tired of playing Miss Notice Me…”

He does not know what to say, so he starts stuttering. So do you.

“S-Stop it, March!” You both exclaim.

…This entire time, you were trying to give a gift to him?

From different corners, all eyeing the situation, Welt, Himeko, and Pom-Pom all grin.


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1 year ago

Sweet Escape [Yandere Overhaul x Reader]

Title: Sweet Escape [Yandere Overhaul x Reader]

Synopsis: Escape isn’t easy. Nor is it very long-lasting. When Overhaul’s men drag you back into captivity, you brace yourself and wait for what your captor will do with you. 

Word Count: 7,592

Notes: yandere, kidnapped, humiliation, degradation, mentions of eating disorder behavior, improper use of household cleaning products, Overhaul is a mean man 90% of this fic is just Overhaul being an asshole to you

image

There are going to be bruises on your shoulders. Fingerprint shaped bruises from the men holding you steady, afraid that you’ll try to sprint off–maybe afraid that you’ll try to spring at their boss, disobedient, unruly possession that you are.

You know that Overhaul won’t like it when he eventually sees those black-and-blue fingerprints marring your skin–he might kill them for it, or worse. They’re digging in too hard, but you don’t warn them to ease up lest they find themselves on the wrong end of Overhaul’s hands; they brought you back to this place, after all, and they deserve nothing but your hot, raw contempt.

Keep reading


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