Chrollo X Reader - Tumblr Posts

Glide.

Yan Chrollo x GN Reader.

Synopsis: Touching the sky yourself is impossible, but having others do so is attainable. That is, as long as your captor does not find out.

Warnings: Yandere themes, kidnapping, manipulation, some dehumanization, and descriptions of violence/death.

Word Count: 800.

*~*~*~*

Whenever Chrollo leaves, he makes sure the balcony door is unlocked.

The platform is nothing special compared to the last one – or the past few hundred of them. It still overlooks a town square just like the rest of them, albeit the square in question has much fewer people out and about down there.

There are only three kinds of people you see nowadays. Those like Chrollo who always yearn for something more, those like the room service that just want to pay their rent this month… and… and you.

But you have hoped, prayed, that there are greater types of people than that more times than you can count. Those like your family, who you dream are still looking for you after all this time – after the fire, after the forensic identification, after the funeral. Those like people who catch the paper airplanes you throw out past the balcony’s fencing, reading your notes with expressions clear as day – you can see them even from up here in this gilded jail.

It’s a shame. A crying shame. Instead of sharing what you have written with him, you give them to nameless strangers who would most likely never give the messy, scribbled letters and numbers time of day. Chrollo considers asking Shalnark or Feitan to hunt them all down, but his rationality stops him halfway because that would cause this whole city to become a ghost town. 

It would be an easy feat for him alone. Hundreds of thousands have already fallen because of his notions; what is a few hundred more? If he partnered with a fellow Troupe member, he does not doubt in his mind that all the letters would be collected within the hour.

But… then again…

It’s a waste of energy, Chrollo decides. I’ll just go to the source.

He twists the key into the hotel room’s lock, opens the door, and looks around as he shuts it back up. The time is 11:00 sharp – far earlier than the usual time he comes back after scouting this town one too many times for every piece of loot he can get his bloodied hands on. There are some nice original copies of books in the museum a few blocks away, a set of necklaces that are said to belong to a long-dead princess of an empire with diamonds as large as the palm of his hand in the jeweler across the street, fur coats made out of near-extinct wildcats that were sold by the zoos who claimed to protect them from such threats… and many more things. It’s shocking, in a way. This place’s population is so small, after all.

Chrollo wants to give them all to you if you would let him.

The hallway that leads to the bathroom, bedroom, and balcony is flooded with crumpled-up paper of varying shapes and sizes. He can even see the expensive embroidered paper he had given you days ago amongst the messes – he knew of your hobby then, he always knew, and that’s why he left the balcony door unlocked for you day and night.

He saw it more as enrichment than anything, just another little something to keep you occupied when you weren’t allowed to come with him. For some, the activities are chewing on bones and digging their claws into couches. For you, it is writing notes so bizarre no one would believe them.

To each their own, Chrollo thinks as he smiles. He’s careful not to make noise as he approaches the balcony slowly.

“No ‘welcome back’?”

The balcony’s door was already open when he saw the disarray all over the hallway’s floor. There you were, huddled in the seating area with your arm frozen in the air. In your hand is a paper airplane that was just about to launch into the sky.

You turn your head as slow as humanly possible with your eyes closed. You’re most likely praying to whatever cosmic force there is that you were hearing things, hearing the people from below, or maybe a gust of wind that sounded too human-like. But once again, the heavens refuse to listen to your desperate prayers. They gladly cast you back down to hell to keep the devil himself at bay. A necessary evil.

Your wings were cut off long ago, after all.

Why would God let you back in?

“Dearest.”

Your arm lowers, and with it your hopes and dreams.

“Oh…”

Oh indeed.

You’re… crying.

“Come here. Let me wipe your tears away.” Chrollo moves faster than you can blink, positioning himself on the chair next to you.

You scramble, standing up as you slap his hand from your cheek. 

“Don’t, I-”

“Shh…”

He points at the cushion – clearly sat on for hours considering how deep the middle’s crevice is.

You sit back down.

chrollo & nobunaga reacting to the gf tax ( they want a gf so bad that comes at a cost of food being stolen of their plate)

i'm sorry this concept is fucking hilarious. 😭

Yan Chrollo + Yan Nobunaga / The Girlfriend Tax.

Warnings: Yandere themes, kidnapping, manipulation, some infantilization from Nobunaga, and mentions of violence against the reader/other people.

Word Count: 1k.

*~*~*~*

Chrollo

“What is the matter, dearest?”

If you didn’t know him as well as you do now – which isn’t a lot, but it still counts for something; probably, someway, somehow – you’d think that Chrollo is attempting to be concerned about you. Attempting to be kind, attempting to be content, attempting to be something so human and real. But you unfortunately knew better now.

He wasn’t concerned; he was simply losing the patience you thought was as infinite as the number of stars in the night sky.

You don’t answer him until his grasp on your chin feels more like a pinch than a sweet caress. Despite him having short nails, you can swear that if you simply move away one more time his thumb will cut you and you will bleed. Perhaps he is more of an animal than something like you and thus perhaps he will lick your wounds clean.

Perhaps he will eat you if he smells your intoxicating scent.

“I have done as you requested, have I not?” He stares at you with such intensity, like he is one second away from biting your head off. “Why do you continue to resist?”

You’re not sure how to answer him, how to make up for the fact that you haven’t done anything affectionate towards him all evening. Kisses, nice words, sitting on his lap, helping him make the dinner that you requested; none of that.

None of what you promised, while Chrollo put his whole heart into the feast set in front of you two. He did his part. You haven’t done yours, and you flinch at potential consequences that are shown through your imagination.

You fucked up. Big time. To put it plain and simple.

“[First].” Chrollo never says your name unless you step way out of line – and even then, you’ve never heard his tone be more irritated than now. At least he isn’t fully angry, and at least he isn't going to threaten you with violence – that role was always reserved for how he treats your loved ones and how his friends treat your loved ones. “You know I never make deals that don’t benefit me, correct?”

Something slips from your mouth before your brain can stop it – it’s a survival instinct maybe, somehow. 

“I’m scared.”

Chrollo’s gaze seems to soften at that; this isn’t the first time that you had voiced such concerns when you are forced into doing ‘couple activities’ with your captor, and this isn’t the first time Chrollo stops what he is doing to assess the situation at hand. But still, this all feels so unfamiliar to you, like a show put on pause because you weren’t a good enough actor for the director and the audience.

His hand moves from your shoulder and there it stays. It’s so cold, but the hot food warms you up. At least you think.

“We can still take it slow. We are still in our… beginning stage, after all.” 

He presses a kiss to your forehead, and suddenly all the fear comes back. 

But that wasn’t the intention, was it?

Nobunaga 

“You aren’t understanding me.”

You put your bare feet onto the front of the chair’s cushion and scoot yourself back until your spine is pressed against the wooden frame. You tuck your knees underneath your chin and bend forward hugging the lower part of your legs.

In front of you was the same type you were always given, but even more of it – brown sludge with something on the side so disgustingly green it couldn’t possibly be a plant and halfway-cooked grains of rice. You asked for takeout instead of Nobunaga’s cooking. Well. You requested it nicer than that. You said that bonding during mealtimes was the easiest way to progress a relationship. You gave some meal ideas; pizza, ramen, stir fry; anything but the alien food he gives you daily.

Nobunaga still has some of the rice in his mouth, chomping away without a care in the world. The sounds are so loud, so painful, that you are tempted to ask him how he could just eat raw rice.

“Yes, I do,” His words are muffled, gnat-sized pieces of broccoli coming out of his mouth as he talks. 

“Why can’t you get something else?” You whine – it’s a desperate sound that comes out of your mouth more regularly now, not that you know why. “To… change the pace a bit.”

You added the last part not to sound rude – you’ll get sent to the bedroom right away for a ‘time out’ if you sound too aggressive again.

“There is a change to it, sweetie.” Nobunaga shakes his head, a tsk leaving his lips. “I added some spinach to the rice. Can’t you see it?”

You must remember that with Nobunaga, you must pick and choose your battles; whether that be not protesting to wearing a skirt that seems a few tads too short or refusing his kisses and touches that felt so cold and slimy somehow despite you knowing that he is human and he is made of the same things you are made of.

Somehow he is human, but he is stronger than you ever will be.

The way he broke your heels months ago, the way he punched and kicked his way through a building to get to you during an escape attempt, the way he restrains you to the bed when you are being too rowdy even for his tastes… They are all proof of that.

So… So… So…

So… So…

So…

So… you slurp up the somehow simultaneously wet and raw rice into your mouth and close your eyes, wishing to be anywhere but here.

Morningstar's Road.

Yan Chrollo x F Reader x Yan Feitan.

Synopsis: Your routine is average, to say the least. But due to Chrollo’s orders, Feitan cannot snatch you up yet – so he simply mirrors your behaviors instead for self-satisfaction. His boss does so too.

Warnings: Yandere themes, stalking, kidnapping, a few suggestive actions, manipulation, some descriptions anxiety/depression for the reader, animal death, and violence/some gore.

Word Count: 4.4k.

*~*~*~*

Feitan is so close to you that he can just about hear your beating heart. He could only see the back of your head, hair loose and surely will be knotted by the morning sun, but he can smell you whenever he is this close.

You always smell so nice, but for some reason, you smell even better – of that floral-scented oil you put on your neck and wrists before you go to bed. Maybe you added extra because it is the weekend.

You are on your right side – the fetal position was always your favorite – and hugging a plush that resembles your childhood cat. This was typical behavior for you; you had cried for days when your older sister called to say he had passed from old age. You weren’t weeping anymore, but you were when you saw the stuffed animal near the window of that dollar store you pass by daily on your way to work. You named it Silky, the same as the real thing, and tuck it in whenever you are in and out of bed. Feitan somewhat wished he could get the same treatment, to be in your arms as you sleep and to feel just a hint of your comforting warmth.

Feitan brought his own blanket.

It isn’t pastel pink like your sheets or your pillowcases or your pajamas and it has holes from moths and years of being stretched as he grew and his fights came to have higher and higher stakes.

If he had recalled correctly the bloodstains from the first time he was stabbed were just under the giant white skull pattern, although since most of the blanket is black it wouldn’t show even in the brightest of lights.

If he had recalled correctly the bloodstains from the first time it was stolen are still there too; on the bottom right corner.

“This type of nen won’t last forever, Fei.”

Feitan turns his neck, his bandana doing little to hide the slight scowl on his face. “I know.”

“Now, now… I never said you did not.” Chrollo responds while giving a small smile, still having the Bandit’s Secret in his right hand while your diary is held in his left. He turns to the next page while Feitan goes back to snuggling up beside you.

If Chrollo had a third arm, he could have the rest of your coffee you didn’t finish and left in your fridge. There is a lipstick stain, the color of that tint you often sport when in your office space. A light taffy color, he muses. 

Very fitting.

“I simply wanted you not to fall asleep too slow or too deep, we do have to leave by dawn after all.”

Feitan said no answer. Chrollo is used to that – a little too used to it, maybe, but Feitan has always stood out from fellow people from Meteor City even by the Phantom Troupe’s standards.

“Same oil?” He asks, and on cue, Feitan gives a loud sniffing sound.

“Yes.”

“Cute.”

Around your waist Feitan’s left arm lays, and his right hand holds the blanket tighter than a noose.

If Chrollo were to guess, if Feitan had a third arm he would put two of its fingers on your lips to feel how soft they were. Chrollo had done so before, but his friend hadn’t. He almost chuckles at the irony. The member of the Troupe the most intimate when it comes to matters of anatomy and torture felt that his fingertips having pink on them was a line he could not cross. It’s almost funny in a way. It’s adorable.

“Boss.”

“Hm?”

“For just a while,” Feitan starts. His tone is shy, like a little boy about to ask his classmate crush for their hand in marriage. “Can you read it to me?”

“‘It’?” Chrollo teases slightly, yet he knows what Feitan is talking about.

“The thing in your hand.”

“‘Thing’?”

Feitan huffs a bit and follows it up with a sigh.

“The… diary. Please.”

*~*~*~*

I think I’m getting worse and wondering if I have ever been happy with myself.

There is this girl that sits at the desk across from mine, Lyra is her name, and I don’t hate her by any means.

I just wish I was her, you know? She gets along with everyone in our office, Her hair is always nice. She has only been here since February and has already been promoted to the status it took me three years to get. 

Don’t get me wrong, she is incredibly nice and I always have a few laughs with her from time to time. Maybe it’s just my insecurities getting to me.

I wonder if sometimes she has similar thoughts when with other people, or even me if that were possible. I know she has a habit of procrastination and has a record of not handing in her work until a few days or weeks later – those are qualities I don’t have, but maybe she doesn’t feel anything negative about herself.

I’m known as the quiet and sweet girl at my job.

I’ve always had a bone to pick with the title, in a way. All my life that is what I was labeled as. People come to me for advice, and it does make me feel good, but I wish I could be a jokester like Lyra too.

That’s all I have… at least for now, I guess. I’m going to drink tea with honey and go to bed.

May 8th

*~*~*~*

The duo entered through the front door this time. You were gone tonight, as evidenced by the messy pile of umbrellas and house shoes that flooded the entrance, so they could break in without much sneaking around. They know where you headed to – and for now, Chrollo orders Feitan not to slit the man’s throat and gouge out his eyes. Your boyfriend, the only one of your past romantic interests not yet dead. Francis.

He’s quite the simple fellow as Chrollo had noted. Feitan was only focusing on where his organs started and ended when they both saw you with him near midnight months before.

“Not yet.”

Chrollo turns his head and looks down at Feitan as they walk down the hall. 

“I know you’re still thinking about it, but your actions may cause our plan to fail.”

No verbal response, though Chrollo notices how Feitan’s steps get slightly louder.

“Fine.”

“Are you saying you’re fine? Or are you still agreeing to not go haywire on the man yet?”

“New one.”

“Hm?”

“New word.” Feitan’s nails retract slightly from your walls as he rolls his eyes. “Hay… wire.”

His hand stops at a photo of your dead cat framed on the wall – he’s a kitten in this one, with his first collar and teenager you hugging him – but your face is cropped out.

He moves the hand away from it for just a few steps. Chrollo finds it polite of him – as polite as Feitan can be with others, anyway.

At the same time, they consider bringing the photos you took off your walls and onto whatever penthouse walls Chrollo has rented out for the next few months or so. It would be cute seeing smiling pictures of you all over, especially since you’ll be switching locations soon enough, and in turn, that expression will soon enough become rare. 

But when Chrollo thinks about the idea further, a problem arises. Your photos aren’t focused on you. They’re focused on your friends and family. You are always in the corner or hidden behind someone else. It’s of your own volition. Chrollo is sure of it. Perhaps he can get Shalnark to work his magic on them and ignore the teasing. Feitan would do nothing more than threaten to bash in his teeth, as with friends he is nothing more than a ‘grumpy wet cat’ – those are Shalnark and Uvogin’s own words. Not Chrollo’s.

“No.”

“Hm?”

“I’ll cut ‘em,” Feitan suggests while putting his sharp nails on your bedroom’s door frame.

“How do you intend to do so when there’s near nothing to cut out?” Chrollo asks. Feitan goes silent until he sits on your bed.

It’s still unmade. You must have ignored that chore list of yours again and opted to work extra hours instead.

Chrollo sits down at the small part of your room that is clean; your desk. It’s mainly used for just reading and video games, hence why the only two things not neatly in piles are a book and your computer. Shalnark told them both the password, but neither of them had decided to tread into that territory for multiple reasons. Firstly, neither of them knows a single thing about the internet and simulations. Secondly, Shalnark can just get whatever information they need without them looking inside it themselves anyway. Thirdly, they already know you enjoy wholesome things on there – the opposite of what you’re reading, if the books on your unfinished read pile mean anything to Chrollo – so there is no point in venturing for unneeded facts about you.

You’ll surely tell them yourself one day. 

Eventually. In maybe weeks. Months. Years. 

Eventually.

It’ll feel like forever and a day if you decide not to talk to either of them. Chrollo and Feitan have agreed without any argument that if you want something, you will ask them. Nicely, of course. 

Broken fingers aren’t necessarily something people flaunt. 

You wouldn’t brag about being forced onto a lap for hours out on a balcony either. 

You’ll eventually tell them. You have to. For your sake.

Eventually. Nothing lasts forever, after all.

“Fei. I promise you that this will be worth the wait.”

Feitan shakes his head, scoffing. “Will it? It would have been easier to just grab her and run.”

“I know,” Chrollo leans in a little, putting his elbows on his thighs. “I know. But you’ll lament it. I would have too if I had agreed with you to go down that route.”

A stare is the response.

It isn’t anger, Chrollo knows that much.

No. 

In all the years Chrollo has known Feitan, Feitan has never gone back on his loyalty to him and the Troupe.

But. But.

Chrollo hasn’t ever seen him have such a concurrence when there is still such division in his eyes.

“Are you sad?” He asks.

“No,” Feitan replies, looking at your cat plush instead of his leader of the full moon outside.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah.”

*~*~*~*

Francis lives outside the city in a farmhouse. It’s up a tall hill with no pathway aside from little rectangular stones here and there – and if you ignore the animals and their housing, people would think that the place is deserted.

Feitan and Chrollo make their way to the white picket fence surrounding the chicken coop. They continue to bite down into the soil for worms or leftover grain. All female. Only three were brown; the others were smaller in frame and white.

“I’ve heard his eggs go for high prices in markets,” Chrollo grins a little. “Maybe I’ll raise some chickens of my own in my later years.”

Feitan raises an eyebrow at him.

“I was joking, Fei.” He clarifies.

“Ah.”

Feitan continues to walk with his hands still stuffed into his coat pockets. 

Chrollo looks at the farmhouse up at the top of the hillside. The lights are still on, meaning you were most likely still up and about in there.

The rooster resting on top of the mailbox makes eye contact with him for a few moments.

“Don’t scream,” Chrollo murmurs, his words sweet as sugar.

“What?” Feitan asks, not even bothering to turn around.

“I’m talking to the rooster.”

“[First]’s rubbing off on you too much.” His friend rolls his eyes and makes sure not to step on a twig.

“Don’t pretend you haven’t noticed how these animals look at us.”

“They’re animals now. What came before… that doesn’t matter anymore.”

“Maybe to you – but I find it intriguing.”

“Talk later,” Putting his hand on the fence gate that leads to Francis’ garden, Feitan turns his head for just a moment. “Near. Quiet. Look.”

For once, Chrollo is the one that does the nodding.

The gate gives off a little squeak as it is opened. It reminds them of Francis’ prized pet pig Annie – though she is only allowed to be inside.

There are all sorts of vegetables and some fruits back here. Cucumbers, chili peppers, watermelons, corn, tomatoes, peaches, pears. They’re all in pristine condition, and so are the flowers growing in pots near the far-off window sills.

Feitan considers giving you the daisies. 

Chrollo considers giving you the marigolds.

They both look at the pig’s head hastily buried under the soil, her ears still popping out and facing the moon. Despite the interment being new, perhaps even being dug today, flies have already spread to the top part of the head and ears. They’re happy you didn’t see her because that would be quite an awful gift from your boyfriend.

Francis is probably happy too, not that they care.

From what Shalnark was able to gather from someone who barely has any social life, Francis moved here from another country about four years ago. He acquired this farm and its land almost immediately afterward. 

From a lottery, Shalnark had explained to them. Or an inheritance. Either way, man’s life is going pretty dang good. Too good, actually, because my senses are tingling too much.

Shalnark was right in that regard. Francis may adopt animals from time to time from farmers’ markets, but a majority of them suddenly appear a few days or weeks apart. There were three white chickens he had purchased. Then after a month or so, there were twelve. The three brown ones came all at once one day.

“Where’s Annie?” They hear you ask as you open one of the windows to get some fresh air. “She usually runs to the door to see me…”

Using hatsu to conceal their presence, the pair aren’t detected among the plants.

“She ran away.”

Feitan almost snickers at your boyfriend’s answer, looking down at the flies and corpse rotting beneath his feet. He didn’t mind the smell of rotting flesh – he has almost always enjoyed it since he was in his teenage years.

Chrollo’s feet don’t dig into the soil – he has opted to instead stand on the few pieces of stone that are by the cucumber plants. He makes a note to go to the laundromat after this; even though it has already been the third time in a row this week alone.

If he can convince Feitan, they’ll steal some things from your place to wash up too – Francis has always been touchy, after all.

“That’s weird,” You say worriedly, not looking into the garden anymore but instead inside; to Annie’s little bed huddled next to the window. “Did you leave the gate open?”

“Yes, I’m still rather upset about it but I’m sure she’ll be found soon.”

Soon. Chrollo grins a bit as he closes his eyes, imagining the moment he’ll save you from this man. Soon isn’t enough. No. This…

This is the moment.

This is the day.

This is the time.

“Feitan.”

“Hm?”

Francis will die today. Or tomorrow maybe, Chrollo isn’t completely sure.

“Don’t make it too bloody,” He instructs, getting off the stones and onto the dirty tiles of the garden’s path to the back door. “I’ll focus on her. We’ll leave the others alone.”

“Fine.”

“Thank you, Feitan.”

Feitan looks confused for a moment. If Chrollo were someone who hadn’t grown up beside him, he wouldn’t have noticed the small millisecond of his friend showing emotion. ‘For what?’ He wants to ask. 

Chrollo knows it. He knows it so he answers the silent question. “For being more vulnerable with her and I. [First] seems to have rubbed off on you too much too, huh?”

“I don’t like your jokes,” Feitan replies as he stuffs his pockets even more – perhaps to hide his balled-up fists. Whether they were made from the hatred of Francis or the annoyance of everything else is up to interpretation. No one will be getting an answer anyway, even Feitan himself. “You’re very happy lately.”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Chrollo’s grin widens just a smidge more. “We’re about to rescue a princess.”

From that look, he knows Feitan agrees with his reasoning and is happy as well.

*~*~*~*

“You’re beautiful, darling.”

You’re laid out on Francis’ bed. It’s rather large for a room this size, but it is comfortable to undress on. You picked a periwinkle blue dress today with buttons on only its top front side. Francis wanted to help but you declined. You don’t decline a lot of things, especially when it comes to him. Francis is annoyed by that but he tries not to let it show. He hides a lot of things from you.

“Thank you.” You sheepishly smile, a light flush on your cheeks as you start to undo your buttons.

“Of course,” You’re his favorite by far. You aren’t stuck up or are with him just for his money. You’re so nice to him. You’re so sweet to him. “I wouldn’t lie to you, honey.”

You aren’t like those whores, those sluts, those fucking cheap little bitches.

“I’ll take it slow since it’s your first time and all.” He promises.

You look up at him.

Your frown is just barely noticeable – but noticeable enough for him to see.

“What’s wrong?” Francis asks.

“Lyra’s still missing… I’m worried.”

“Why?” Francis asks, getting more annoyed the more time you spend covered up. “Why are you so worried about her right now? It’s not the time for that.”

“I don’t know,” You look at the open window, cool air still blowing in along with the slight scent of flowers. “I really don’t, I just… have suddenly gotten a little sad just now.”

You’re shivering a little.

“Ah, you must be cold.” He deflects. Having only his shirt on now, he walks up to the windowsill and looks at the vegetable patch. With both hands, he pulls the window closed. “Better?”

You must not have heard him, because you keep playing with your buttons instead of being fully undressed already.

“Could you…” 

Ah. You did hear him, but you seem concerned for something else. That’s fine, as long as you aren’t playing with him and will soon attempt to run away. 

“Close the curtain? Please? I’d really… appreciate it.”

“Sure,” Francis replies, his smile returning to his face. “Anything for you. Just get comfortable, pumpkin.”

The wicked thing came all at once before either of you could blink. Shards of glass flew into Francis and into the bedroom walls. Francis screams as his bleeding hands are quick to go to his eyes, his fingers attempting to get the glass shards out of them before his vision is gone for good. In front of you was a stranger in a suit – he pushed you out of the way in a fraction of a second and onto the floor. The bed had shielded you and him. 

“Are you alright?”

You’re too shocked for words, peeking from behind the bed to where Francis is still screaming.

In front of him was a man in all black stepping on the back of his head with one of his feet. The soles of his boots seemed lodged into Francis’ scalp, and it takes you a moment to realize why. There were spikes on them; not that you could see them much because of how hidden they seemed to be right now. They’re silver judging by the color of their slight sparkle, but the rusted kind. No. Maybe that’s just the bloodstains.

The feeling in your chest is so horrible like you’re very sick. There’s pressure on your heart. It’s strangling you, despite the taller stranger’s grasp on your shoulders being so pleasant. So tender.

“What are you doing?” You screech. The sound doesn’t make either of the intruders flinch. Francis does instead. “Let go of him!”

The shorter man doesn’t look at you, opting to wedge the spikes of his shoes further into Francis’ brain. You try to get up but the man in the suit pulls you back down, shushing you as you protest and cry. “Don’t… it’ll be over soon. I told him to be gentle, you see.”

“Gentle?” You repeat.

“Yes, my dear.” One of his hands rises from your shoulders to where your eyes are. You struggle some more and the stranger whispers something in your ear. “Behave – I can always tell Feitan to torture him the amount he deserves if I wanted to. I know he wants to.”

You deflate and your eyes are forced shut by his palm. “Please stop… I don’t know what we did, just please-”

“You didn’t do anything,” The other man – Feitan if the taller man had named him right and he wasn’t just some assassin he hired; he said his name so tenderly too like he is an old friend – interrupts you. “He did.”

You feel like you’re about to throw up all the wonderful food you just ate. Chicken pot pie, beef tenderloin, roasted pork belly – it all feels like it is about to release from your throat and onto the wooden planked floor below.

“Oh dear,” Another hand covers your nose and mouth. Instead of blood you now smell cologne – sandalwood and amber. “Can you please hurry up, Fei? She looks like she’s about to collapse.”

*~*~*~*

“It’s a wonderful time to be alive,” Chrollo says as he puts the key into his car’s lock. It’s embedded with little multicolored jewels – he had commissioned some artist to customize it for him a week or so ago while Feitan went into your home on his own. “Or at least a wonderful night. Wouldn’t you say so?”

You’re in the passenger seat. You fell unconscious after Francis’ barely alive body got its fingers broken one by one. Some of his blood got on your skirt, but Chrollo is sure that the laundromat will fix that just like the workers will fix his clothes. As long as he pays them enough or threatens them enough. The latter would be more fun for Feitan but the former would let him be seen as a kind patron. Whichever way the coin flips. 

He doesn’t blame you for fainting. If he hadn’t been born in Meteor City and hadn’t been raised in a constant state of fear and a constant battle for power over others, he would most likely do the same. 

Feitan is in the back, silent. His hands now have gloves on them and are now brushing through your hair.

“Should we make the pit stop or go straight?” After the second question, the car’s lights turn on.

“Bed.”

The car starts moving into the barren street. 

“Alright,” Chrollo chuckles a little at the insistence in Feitan’s tone. “We can get some of [First]’s clothes tomorrow then. She’ll probably sleep throughout the day.” 

He doesn’t explain why because they both already know the reason. There is a short chain attached to the main bed. Depending on your behavior early on, it will either lengthen or become briefer. 

There are also some syringes in the mirror vanity that Feitan asked him over and over to keep in case of an emergency. He doubts there will be any real threat where they would have to use them. 

Feitan doesn’t. Feitan doesn’t doubt many things.

“Blankets too.” 

Feitan doesn’t ask for many things either, much less demand them.

“Ah,” Chrollo makes the left turn as his fingers tap on the steering wheel. It’s a song you enjoy listening to on your avenue home. He knows you aren’t listening to it but that doesn’t matter right now. He’ll continue to do so until your mind associates the tune with small controlled adventures to and fro and not you having a life of your own. “All of them?”

“Yes. Please.”

“You don’t say that word very often,” He teases, looking at the flat glass mirror overhead.

“Hmph.”

Putting his hand on your thigh, Chrollo continues to drive while still glancing upward now and then. 

*~*~*~*

Your heartbeat has calmed down. Feitan is now able to look at your face as you sleep. 

You look at peace now. When he had placed you on the bed, your eyebrows furrowed for a moment – perhaps your subconscious being afraid – or disgusted – by him.

The flowery scent of your perfume vanished long ago and has been replaced by a stinging one. Feitan doesn’t mind. He doesn’t mind a lot of things when it comes to you.

Unlike the bodies of those who have died by his hands, Feitan places the white blanket on top of you gently like you would shatter if he was just a tad bit rougher. 

Well… Body bags don’t really count as blankets, do they? They are meant to be ripped open and stuffed full of parts no wandering soul hopes to find.

Chrollo decides to break the silence. “After she adjusts a little, we’ll leave. Or you can stay if you want. I can carry her things on my own.”

Feitan turns to look at him.

“Pictures.”

Chrollo sighs. “Alright. But we’ll get Shal to edit them. No cutting.”

“...Tch. Fine. Silky too.” A thumb is pressed against your lips. After it is lifted, there is a light pink that covers its print.

“It’s a pretty color, isn’t it?” Chrollo muses, hanging his suit jacket on the edge of his sofa as he holds his book. “I’ll try to get the same shade for her when she runs out of it. Though I suspect it will be a while before then, huh?”

“It’s fine,” Feitan states, rubbing his thumb against your lips more. “She will always be pretty to me.”

“Never took you for the romantic type, Fei.”

“Hmph.”

yan machi is kinder to you than yan chrollo is early on but gets colder once she realizes her feelings for you.

to her, emotions are the tools people can use against her. she isn’t worried about you manipulating her, but rather worried about the phantom troupe’s enemies using you against her.

she treats you with respect almost enthusiastically when you first meet her. you’re someone her childhood friend loves, so she thinks it is just human nature to admire you too. she isn’t the best at self-awareness, if her words are too nice or too subtle or too harsh, so chrollo realizes her feelings before she does.

he isn’t angry at her. he instead claims that you’re so lovely that it is only human nature. they agree on the sentiment somewhat but not all the way, until chrollo navigates her through her own feelings for you. she’s embarrassed in a way, looking off to the side and a quiet scoff emerging from her throat.

chrollo gives machi an address to go to within the next week. it’s on a small piece of paper that can easily be scrunched up or burned if needed to be. she’ll ask why - but something in her knows the answer already. one of her many great hunches that ended up to be correct in due time.

“i think you should bond a little with them,” chrollo will answer, looking up at a tall building far off into the distance. on the top floor is where you are - desperate for interaction of any kind and wanting to not feel like you are stepping on eggshells all the time. “they’d like that.”

“why?” machi questions as she rolls her eyes. not at her boss, but at herself. she notes that she should try to be less easier to read - but no matter what, chrollo can always see through her and her many facades.

“they like you. you’ll be kind, i assume?”

she gives no answer, walking to the street where pakunoda’s car is waiting for her.

machi’s ever present glare manages to soften for only a moment or so before returning back to their original state. a state you have never seen before. you flinch at the sight.

suddenly chrollo’s stare doesn’t seem to bad, as empty as it appears to be.

Oh~ I like this, I don’t see enough ongoing Chrollo fic~ and this captures his personality brilliantly in my opinion.

Burgeon - 2

>Yan! Chrollo x Fem! Reader (Soulmate au)

Warnings: Chrollo being as starved as a mediaeval man who has never seen ankles, manipulation (specifically Pavlov-ing), idioms with a little gore

Word count: 4.3k

Part 1

The midnight breeze is something that Chrollo has been appreciating more and more recently. It plays the role of a refresher, something that eases his mind and relaxes any agitation he may have been accumulating. If anything, it makes him more… 'tame' for you.

Had he not had the chance to let the wind blow through his hair, he would've snapped at you to head back inside even with the blanket you're currently wrapped up in. But for now, Chrollo figures that you've earned this, even if you had been sick just a few days ago.

Chrollo can feel the way you eye how he rests his body completely against the railing with no regard for his safety. He can even declare with confidence that you're imagining him accidentally falling off, despite his back being turned to you. It's the way he can feel you tense up when he leans against it further that gives it away.

Such an interesting person. You had told him just two days ago during your sickness that you wished for him to die, yet now you're worried about him falling. The mind is more honest during sickness and sleep, so both reactions and claims are correct. Which one are you more inclined to, he wonders.

When you finally decide to take the step that brings you to the terrace instead of keeping you on the noncommittal line between it and the bedroom, he finds himself still staring at the city below him. A thought suddenly popped into his mind as it has remained idle for the past few minutes.

Were you not in deep sleep when he left the bed?

You were so soundly asleep that Chrollo found it rude to even think while laying next to you, the possibility of you waking up because of his possibly troubled thoughts was something he did not want to come true. That is why he, insomnia at its peak, had left for the balcony. To seek the refreshing cool air of approaching autumn.

And to, of course, not wake you up by accident.

However it seemed it backfired, for you've carefully taken a few steps towards him but stopped because you started shivering. Ah, such a fragile little thing. Don't you know that vulnerability is a predator's favourite?

Chrollo allows you to watch him in silence. Even with his back being turned to you, he is perfectly capable of feeling your eyes on him, and right now they're staring at his back in hesitance and perturbation.

"Can't sleep?"

Your question has no purpose being voiced, for you're well aware of how little sleep he usually gets. He goes to bed with you but falls asleep after you and wakes up before you. Even if that wasn't Chrollo's normal sleep cycle, he would've changed it to be so because having the luxury of being able to watch over you during one of your most unguarded, most vulnerable and most tempting moments is something he would never pass up on.

"Are you worried?" He tilts his head to face you who are now right by his side albeit a few steps away. "My, how thoughtful of you."

"Please stop smiling like that. It's creepy."

He chuckles, mirth evident in the crinkles around his eyes. "Why don't you teach me how to smile in a not so creepy way? Yours is beautiful, effulgent even. I'm sure I can learn a few things from you."

Such bashfulness you show. With the way your jaw tenses and you avert your eyes, Chrollo almost loses the sensation of the cool breeze in favour of soaking in the adorable expression on your face.

When you give no response, he goes back to the scenery in front of him. Chrollo's body once again relaxes against the railing, and his mind travels over to how any regular citizen would be in deep sleep at this very moment. They would be resting, oblivious to the crimes taking place at this hour. That sort of obliviousness is something he finds intriguing.

Chrollo's body melts into the balcony railing, his face being held up by his hands. You, however, seem a bit horrified at the position.

"Hey! Um… be careful. You might fall."

The railing is by no means short, so your paranoia most likely stems from the fall to the ground. Well, you're concerned and about him no less. He's flattered.

"I'm being serious, you idiot. You're going to fall."

He smiles, eyes still fixed on the city, "An interesting proposition."

"Well then," you scoff, "if you do fall, it'll just do me a favour by killing you."

"I suppose you're right. Love and infatuation are both poisons in their own way."

"..."

"You don't like my philosophy?"

Grey eyes stare into yours awaiting an answer. The demeanour is almost puppy-like, cute even.

"You know, you're the antidote to this poison," he states. "A ludicrous fact, but a fact nonetheless."

"Chrollo, I swear if you are trying to be Mr. Darcy at this very moment, I am obliged to remind you that you sound as creepy as an old man giving candy to a little girl."

"And what's so wrong with giving candy to little children?"

"Exactly!"

You back away a few steps, intently watching if he does more than just turn around to look at you. The way his hair dances in the light breeze makes you pause for a moment before you regain your voice. "I hope you do fall, off the railing that is."

As you waddle inside with the blanket still wrapped tightly around your figure, Chrollo suppresses a smile. Perhaps this is why destiny had given you to him. When you're not sulking or rebelling against him on every breath he takes, you make for quite amusing company even if it is out of capitulation.

Chrollo ought to wait out here until you're asleep. That way, he'll be able to kiss you goodnight without any protests.

-

The device in Chrollo's hands taunts and ridicules him. Though switched off, merely looking at it is a daunting task, for he is well aware of what he will find. Carefully, Chrollo switches it on, smiling at the wallpaper of the street cat you had mentioned before he took you.

The gallery icon on your phone's home screen calls to him like a siren's song, but Chrollo practises self restraint and instead lets all the notifications pile up before putting the device on aeroplane mode. He had initially removed anything that could allow GPS tracking of the device but hadn't bothered to check if anyone was worried about you.

Well, you did make it on the news. He wouldn't be surprised if there was a search operation for you as well, but what does he know? He took you and left the city after a week. How they dealt with you supposedly going missing is their problem, not his.

Chrollo checks your social media accounts one by one, going through the chats and messages. One particular male's chat history is specially ticking him off, the absurd confidence he exudes for someone of such low calibre and his attempts at subtly flirting with you are almost pitiful.

Thankfully, you don't seem interested by how your responses are worded. Another point to himself. Not a single contact in your phone except for your parents is important. Speaking of parents, Chrollo wonders if he could have gotten along with them well.

Well, to get along with them would mean having to risk you running away since forming a relationship with them requires you to be free. Nevermind then. He'll remain as is.

Though your chat history with your mother wasn’t on the top, a message from her had caught his eye immediately. ‘I miss you,’ it read. It’s possible she sent it to your contact in order to seek closure. It doesn’t matter. You were destined for him and with him you shall be.

The sound of the bathroom door opening doesn't affect Chrollo's work. He continues in his pursuit, all the while eyeing you, hair wet and nape completely exposed, as you quietly go inside the bedroom. Amazing. You missed his presence on the sofa. How adorably oblivious.

Chrollo finally heeds and opens the gallery app on your phone, leg bouncing up and down in anticipation of what you may have there. In all honesty, the thought of raiding your phone hadn't crossed his mind before. He had originally kept it, although switched off, to keep an eye on who might be messaging you during your disappearance.

The chat you had with him is something he also went through. Chrollo found it to be a bittersweet reminder of how pitiful inexperience can make a man.

He scrolls down, immediately looking away when he finally finds pictures of you. The pictures are… too much for his taste. He's afraid that the smile you have in those pictures might cause a little 'problem' to rise or perhaps a blush, and he would rather not have you see him like that yet, especially if the pictures aren’t even anything scandalous.

Nevertheless, he scrolls down further, making a mental note to come back to those specific ones later when you're busy or asleep. More pictures of you appear, some with only you and some with your parents or friends. Chrollo scans over each and every single one, telling himself he will get back to those later and then questioning why he's continuing if he will return eventually.

Sifting through more photos, he finds a few that catch his immediate interest.

Baby photos. And… is that you as a toddler? How precious. Seems like your radiant smile has been a constant in your life. Ah, even as a child you were so full of life. Chrollo wonders what happened while growing up to create someone capable of murder, not that he can judge.

"What're you smiling like a creep for?"

A hand reaches to touch his lips, and he feels that they are in fact curled into a smile. So your smile is contagious even with photos? As expected of his soulmate.

"No really. You look creepy. Knock it off. Plus, having a phone in hand seems out of character for you."

Chrollo hums to himself, pleased that you don’t recognise the device in his palm. "You seem to be in a good mood. What might be the occasion?"

Having you initiate conversation with him all on your own is a sign that you don't feel any malice towards him for the time being. Emphasis on 'for the time being'.

Eyes follow the trail of a stray drop of water as it travels down your neck, over the curve of your collarbone and disappears into your shirt. It takes a lot of willpower for him to not comment on it because any sliver of bare skin is absolutely irresistible.

"None," you reply. "Unlike you, I'm not a pretentious prick all the time."

Pocketing the phone, he crosses his legs. However, Chrollo immediately changes his mind, the image of your infectious smile still fresh in his brain, and gets up. Your eyes carefully observe his movements, body language loud on how you're ready to slip inside the bedroom if he does anything you disapprove of.

Calloused hands reach for your face, and despite your initial hesitance, you allow him to do as he pleases. The memory of the action's previous occurrences may have resurfaced to have caused your sudden compliance. As his palms make contact with your cheeks, he notices a slight flinch from you but favours to ignore it.

"[Name]."

"Y-yeah?"

His thumbs brush your cheeks tenderly, and he notices you eyeing his tattoo. "Do you have any idea of how precious you are?"

"Do you have any idea of how annoying you are?"

He tuts. "Here I am trying to appreciate you and ask you for a date, but you keep insulting me. How rude."

"Date? I'm not up for listening to you talk smack about a dead poet again."

"By date, I mean date. I'm planning to take you somewhere, but I'm yet to decide where that is."

He can feel the eagerness in your actions when you grab his wrists, eyes wide with disbelief. Perhaps he shouldn't tell such a cruel lie, but it's all in good intentions.

"Really? You're not lying to me?"

Thumbs brush your lips and your hold on his wrists tightens.

"Again, I am planning. You’re yet to earn my favour, dear."

The seed has been planted, and now Chrollo must only await it to germinate. If he throws in the idea that he will allow you to leave and explore the city with him if you behave, it might create more happenings where you happily converse and interact with him.

"What do I do?"

Amazing. Eager already.

Chrollo stares at you for a moment. The first time he held your face in his hands, he had done it to convince you of his feelings, to show that he does care for you unlike what you had claimed. After that, he had done it to express his biases towards you wearing his clothes or something he picks, all the while complimenting you, a perfect recreation of a scene in one of your favourite novels.

Perhaps that had brought something into your mind because the next time he had repeated the action, you expectantly looked at him and being his soft spot, Chrollo yielded to your charms and ended up allowing you to watch the evening news like you requested.

Maybe… if he keeps this up, you might be more responsive and willing towards his affection. If he fulfils one desire each time he holds you this way, he might trick your brain into seeking out his touch even if it is for your own selfish gain.

"What you must do," he says, "is, for starters, stay still."

"What do you-"

He leans in, but even with his initial aim of your lips, suddenly goes to kiss your forehead. The affectionate gesture makes you freeze, and Chrollo smiles to himself while kissing each cheek as well.

He knows what you're thinking. If you want to see the city, feel the fresh air and finally get out of his presence for even a short while, you must let him do as he pleases. You're an open book to Chrollo but the opposite for the other way around.

With how easy you are to read, it's quite easy to rile you up. Nonetheless, if he keeps this up for longer, he may very well have you seek him out.

And there is nothing he covets right now more than for you to approach him yourself.

-

Chrollo sometimes wonders how you can sleep so carelessly next to him. There must be something fundamentally and deeply wrong with your brain to have fallen asleep like any other regular night even after witnessing a man being eaten alive by indoor fish, let alone in the same bed as the man who had admitted his crimes to you and also said that he does not regret any of them.

Will you continue to sleep so soundly after finding out about the troupe? Will you push him away? Go for the couch? Or will you remain unaffected?

He does harbour great curiosity about your upbringing and why you remain desensitised to such matters in the long run. An initial reaction to the act is perfectly normal and so is restlessness and a lack of peace of mind later, but you don’t seem to experience the latter other than the nightmares you had about the murder you committed. Ironically, even those had ceased after a few weeks.

While taking your Nen ability, he had come across a kind of darkness in your soul that had originally come from your mind. Did you witness violence while growing up? It was the kind of apathetic that a killer would usually nurture, but you seem to have empathy for everyone as well. It could be subjective. That would explain why you had chosen to claim that the man you killed was guilty of your late friend’s death when you had awoken from a nightmare you had after he took you in.

What’s worse is that the more time he spends with you, the less he has to think about his reactions. The most recent example is when the other day you had come to the balcony after him at night. Chuckling and smiling had come to him without a second thought when he jokingly asked you to teach him how to smile. It’s peculiar because he usually has to think over what reaction he should have in a scenario before displaying it.

Perhaps that is simply what it means to be with your soulmate. Chrollo is well aware that most of his expressions are fake and shallow but his sentiments are not. He was right in the beginning. You may just hold the key to him understanding himself better.

A groan and you stir in your sleep, eliciting Chrollo’s attention to your sleeping form once more. It did feel rather odd to share a bed with you at first, but he quickly grew accustomed. Another one of your many mysteries is why you didn’t bother refusing him when you started waking up to see him next to you in bed. It slowly developed into going under the covers together, another development you didn’t comment on, but you never allowed him to hold you at this time.

It could be that you don’t trust him, but despite all the crimes he has committed, he would never disrespect you in such a way. Consent is important to Chrollo, but he doesn’t bother with whether it is given wholeheartedly or under pressure.

As his finger lightly traces your collarbones, he adjusts his position and sits up. He could condition your mind into experiencing positive emotions after him touching you. It would be the same as how he has held your face in his hands and said something to make you happy. That way, you would associate the feeling of his skin to an influx of dopamine and actively seek out the addictive rush of hormones, consequently seeking him out.

A simple task in theory, but not near such in practice. You’re smart and you may catch on, especially when he considers that in highschool, an institution you have attended, students are made familiar with the scientist whose work he’s trying to recreate. Well, it’s not a hindrance. Challenges are fun, even more so when you are involved.

-

An idea that Chrollo had while waking you up in the morning is repeatedly nagging him mentally. It’s simple and easy to execute, but that isn’t what’s holding him back. How you may react is the problem.

During your fever, you were extremely explicit and straightforward in expressing your displeasure and animosity towards him. It had taken a few days even after your recovery to completely calm down, or at least to the extent that he could breathe without you having to complain about it.

Thinking about it now… you were kind of feisty during that period. Hm. Maybe even more… ‘desirable’.

No. Chrollo, you’re getting sidetracked.

There will be plenty of time to ponder over ways to tame you when you’re being rebellious and how to thoroughly enjoy it. For now, focus. How can you be riled up to the degree of spouting profanities but without any extreme anger? Would insulting your taste in books do it? No, you would probably bite back by calling him pretentious and be done with it.

Think.

What is one thing he can use to distress you and then subsequently use to de-escalate and soothe you? Your parents? Your friends? Who more do you have a close relationship with?

Ah…

That’s right.

“[Name]?”

You merely grace him with a questioning hum, face buried in the book he finished reading last night. Seriously. When will you get over trying to make fun of his tastes?

Chrollo rests his cheek on his fist, legs crossed on the sofa. You’ve hoarded the single seater one in hope that he wouldn’t seat himself next to you. How petty.

“Can you pause your reading? I have something I’d like to ask you”

“Done scheming?” You peek over the edge of the book before closing it and setting it aside. “Fine. Let’s hear what diabolical plan you’ve cooked this time.”

Chrollo raises a brow. “Diabolical plan? That’s a hefty accusation.”

“I’m not wrong though.”

“I suppose. Well, I was actually thinking over whether or not I should ask you this, but I settled on doing it. The conversation might just make our relationship less rocky.”

The explanation seems to have succeeded in capturing your attention, so Chrollo continues.

“Do you recall when you said that you wouldn’t be opposed to being with me? I was just wondering where that enthusiasm went. Do you not like me anymore?”

You narrow your eyes at him accusingly. “Why ask me now?”

“It’s been weighing on my mind for quite some time now. I suppose I just couldn’t help myself at the moment.”

“Well,” you drawl, “I didn’t realise back then that you were hiding so much from me. That too, important information. Had I known that you’re a criminal, I would’ve gone the other way.”

“Criminal? Darling, you’ve also killed a man.”

Suddenly, all your confidence is gone and you start sputtering out your words. “T-that was self-defence. Plus, he was the reason why she died. I-if it wasn’t for him-”

“Initially, you excused your crime by calling it self-defence, but now you claim it to be some sort of score settle since he led to your friend’s death? All I see here are excuses to escape the guilt, but we’re getting off topic. You are no better than I am, so why did your standing change?”

Chrollo’s argument seems to have dumbfounded you because all you do is stare at him with wide eyes. The curve of your nose, the tremble of your lower lip, the lashes framing those beautiful glossy eyes and the accentuation of your collarbone when you lean forward. During the time your brain wracked for a response, he did a once over of all those features, feeling particularly strong about how your eyebrows frame your overall expression.

As fulgent as you are, even during your lowest moments Chrollo will have to fight the urge to ruin whatever radiance may remain underneath your skin. Perhaps that is why he finds himself pitiful and mad when it comes to you. Just what is it about you that makes him claw your name off of his skin? What is the matter with those eyes that peer into his being, ripping off skin and flesh and settling between his bones, that makes him want to simply tattoo over his name on your back so that the entire world can see it?

Destiny is an awful thing, but Chrollo is equally as awful.

“Even if you reject me,” he says, slowly moving towards you, “you would never escape. Fate has handed you to me on a silver platter, and I would have to be dead to let you go.”

Chrollo has been proven wrong. You are in no way the key to understanding himself better. Instead, you are the means. If the changes you have brought to him in the short amount of time you have been with him are so significant, then it must only mean that he’s done something right. The fact that his heart beats faster in your close proximity rather than only during heists is just one of the many proofs.

“This isn’t how soulmates should be.”

“It isn’t? Enlighten me then,” he challenges. With both his hands on either armrest, he cages you to the seat, leaning in just a few inches away from your unnerved expression. “You are supposed to love me and I am supposed to love you. Simple enough.”

“No… this love… isn’t right.”

You’re cracking. Wonderful. This agitated look is simply enchanting with your intoxicating features. If he wasn’t aiming to recreate another gesture from one of your romance novels, he would have certainly taken advantage of your almost petrified state.

“Why not? Soulmates are supposed to live for the other person. What’s so wrong about staying with each other?”

Perhaps any sort of conviction you had has melted away, for all you’re doing is continuing to stare at him attentively. Is he too close? That would explain how guarded your body language is, but the way he’s leaning into you is supposed to fluster you. Hm, the conversation topic might have not been a good match. Oh well.

Chrollo retreats and decides that it’s time to put his theory to the test. Maybe he did get carried away and induce fear instead of anger but either two are negative emotions so it really shouldn’t matter. As he crouches down in front of you, he notices how you tense up. Gently, he holds your face in his hands again and waits for every fraction of a second for a reaction.

When you subconsciously relax under his touch, Chrollo is forced to suppress a grin.

“You’re safe with me, [Name]. No harm will ever come to you.”

The rollercoaster of emotions you just experienced must have given you whiplash because even now you don’t respond. However, Chrollo can feel how you physically relax. When he brushes his thumbs against your cheeks, you almost melt into his hands, but judging from your expression, you must be confused about the sudden security and contentment you feel.

Fate really must have a personal grudge with you for tying you to a man like Chrollo. To him, you’re a knife lodged inside his chest, but despite how much he may bleed, he will twist it further inside until it absolutely demolishes his heart. And even then, he will smile.

I liked this it was a pretty dark and the inclusion of y/n being from Kurta clan was interesting. It be more interesting to see it expanded upon with her life with the spiders and interactions with Kurapika. But as is I enjoy this one

ℭ𝔥𝔯𝔬𝔩𝔩𝔬, ℌ𝔬𝔭𝔢 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔏𝔬𝔰𝔰

𝔯𝔢𝔮𝔲𝔢𝔰𝔱: chrollo x pregnant!kurta reader + prompts 12. “haven’t you realized your situation? your life is completely in my hands now.” and 16. "i'll destroy anyone that gets in my way, anyone that tries to get in between us."

𝔰𝔶𝔫𝔬𝔭𝔰𝔦𝔰:  a one-night stand between you and chrollo ends up becoming much more, something that you never would have thought could cost you the cozy life you had made in your village alongside your clan.

𝔫𝔬𝔱𝔢𝔰: yandere chrollo x reader, manipulation/deception, mentions of pregnancy, mentions of nsfw, kidnapping, blood/murder (aka the kurta massacre). this story is a little more morbid than my other work, you have been warned. i will add a cut for when things become more intense :)

You didn't even know it yourself. It was another clan member’s nen ability that informed you of the life growing inside of you–just as theirs ended. The feeling of their bruising grip on your hand letting up ever so slowly as their soul faded away, their last words being something so heavy and bearing so much that you had no choice but to believe them. You knew that you had made a mistake. 

Hiding your face in an attempt to cover up your ever-deepening blush, you turned away from the dark-haired man on his back beside you and sat up, reaching down to pull your cloak off of the floor and begin dressing back up. You felt so embarrassed even after the act was done, this having been your first time–not to mention doing it with a man so charming and seemingly infatuated with you, it was something that you didn’t think you could ever get over. Perhaps you were in a state of shock, did this really just happen? Based on the pleasant but sore sensation between your legs, you didn’t have to pretend. 

It happened on a whim, you had been sent into town by the Clan Elder to buy some extra food from the markets, as this gardening season was off to a slow start and there weren’t enough vegetables to sustain everyone. While at the market you were scanning over various fruits, trying to gauge which ones were new and which were beginning to rot so you could pick the right ones to last you all longer. 

He approached quietly, sneaking up from behind and asking for your opinion on the produce he had selected since you looked like you knew what you were doing. With a smile and an apology (since his sudden voice by your ear had caught you off guard, making you physically jump which then startled him), you were more than happy to help. Somehow, in a whirlwind, one thing led to another and you were following him back to his apartment rather quickly after your meeting, groceries long forgotten. 

“When will I be seeing you again?” he asked, voice husky as he sat up behind you and reached for your hand. He peppered soft kisses along your knuckles, raising chills upon your skin when his lips worked all the way up your arm and to your bare shoulder. You shivered, leaning into him as he pressed against your neck. 

“I don’t know…” your sentence tapered off, a bit too overwhelmed by his warm affections and the clarity of your actions now that they were finished and you had time to reminisce with a clearer mind.

You had somewhat of a lover back in the village, someone you would exchange coy glances with and speak a handful of sweet conversations when the timing was appropriate, away from peeking eyes that would immediately declare your marriage if they caught a glimpse of anything. You knew that you wanted to save yourself for him, but there was just something so irresistible about this stranger, it almost felt like you didn’t have any control of your body when you consented to his advances. You couldn’t even give a definite yes or no to coming back and seeing him again, you were just so confused. Had you just committed adultery? And enjoyed it? Were you going to come back?!

The idea of that put a bitter taste in your mouth. How sickening, how morally unacceptable. With a wince you stood up from beneath the sheets and pulled your clothes back on quickly, ignoring the sticky sensation starting to drip down your thighs even as you pulled your panties back on, moving the substance back up your leg once more. 

“What’s the rush?” he asked, leaning back on his hands and watching you casually, even though you were sure that your urgency was obvious, and there was clearly nothing to be so casual about. You turned to look at him and noticed that the sheet covering his lower half had lowered even further since you stood, making you whip your head right back around with a more crimson complexion than the one you had moments ago.

“I… have to go take care of something at home. They’ll be worried about me, I said I wouldn’t take long in the city” pushing the last button through your shirt and pulling your cloak on once and for all, you brushed yourself off and rushed to the door. 

“Just a minute,” he requested, sitting up a little taller and readjusting the sheet to cover a little more of himself. Thank god. You stopped and spun around with hesitance, waiting for whatever he was about to say with shaky hands that were just itching to pry the door open so you could run out of there. 

“If you’re willing to take a longer route, there’s a path that runs on the edge of the city right by the stall where we met. It’s likely to lead you back home, and there’s a beautiful view there that you cannot miss out on. It should be on the left, you’ll know it when you see it.” 

Your lips twitched upward and he mirrored it, the anticipation of seeing something peaceful in the near future relieved your nerves a little bit. You thanked him, and without another moment to spare you dashed away from that room and out of the apartment building as fast as your legs could carry you. 

What had you just done?! You and that boy from the village were not yet tied together by marriage, but you had a definite emotional connection that would have certainly made it feel like cheating if you were to flirt with another man, let alone sleep with one. Your skin felt itchy and dirty, and the way that your underwear was keeping physical evidence of your copulation filled you with pure guilt. You tried to calm yourself down, walking fast so you could get home as soon as possible and wash your body until your skin was rubbed raw. And how would you explain the lack of groceries you were bringing back?!

One thing after another, it continued to get worse. You were now an adulterer who couldn’t even do one thing right and actually bring home the food you were assigned to get. You couldn’t fulfill the only purpose of this trip because you had to act upon a selfish impulse that came over you out of nowhere. One that was sudden and out of your control, but felt that if you did not act upon it you would simply explode, and how perfect that such an attractive stranger was there to care for your needs.

You shook your head when that thought crept in, shaming yourself and looking up to the landscape before you for a distraction. Your eyes scanned around eagerly, and after a brief few seconds of strenuous searching, you noticed a small, rocky path near the fruit stall. The one that the man had mentioned to you.

The anticipation of seeing something peaceful in the near future relieved your nerves a little bit.

Ah, perfect. That would be sure to calm you down if he was being honest about the view, and wasn’t just saying that to mess with you in an attempt to delay your trip so you would spend more time with him. You knew your way back home very well since you travelled to the city a lot, you knew that even if this path did not lead back to the village you could easily find your way back so long as you continued walking north. Your mind was set.

Trekking down the road, you began to take deep breaths as all of the unease bubbling up inside of you was becoming unbearable, alongside another nervous feeling that you couldn’t place. You felt entirely unnerved, not quite like you were being watched, but like something very bad was about to happen and take the cake for being the worst part of this already awful day. Perhaps it was just caused by the unfamiliar route home. At the very least, this route may have been longer but was definitely more scenic and a lot quieter than your regular one. You had faith that it would pleasantly surprise you too if there was a hidden and scenic view as that man said. 

That man. You had to try harder to get him out of your head. You tried shaking it, rubbing your eyes and temples as if you could physically wash him away if not will him away. You didn’t know how much more anxiety you could take before your heart simply gave up.

You stopped walking, eyelids closing and hands balling into tight fists. Your heart was pattering harshly within your ribcage, pushing achingly against it, so fast. 

Calm down.

Allowing your eyes to open again, you inhaled deeply and observed the spot where you chose to halt. Blinking, you followed the back-and-forth blowing of elegant green leaves and swirly plants with their sturdy vines. You happened to look over your left shoulder, and to your surprise, a beautiful display of the sky was visible through a patch in the trees, as if its branches had been carved out for it to be seen. As ethereal as the twinkling stars looked against the deepening blue yonder, you had a hard time enjoying it because of that angsty feeling that was clawing at you.

If you wanted to feel better, you had to stop wasting time and get home. Perhaps finally being back to some familiarity would provide comfort, allow you to reset your mind, and pretend that nothing peculiar even happened today. Soaking in the view one final time, you committed it to memory to act as a soother while you continued on. You started to speedwalk, and the more you did continue on, the more the environment around you changed. 

The first thing you noticed was how it was oddly quiet. You knew that you were nearing home because the number of swirly plants had increased, and typically by this point you could hear the distant bustling and soft chatter of your elders. But there was no bustling. There was only pure and utter silence aside from the clop of your shoes against the stones under your feet, and the crunching of the fallen leaves trapped between them. 

Something wasn’t right, now you knew that for certain.

Your walk became a run, you didn’t stop and didn’t care about how many bushes or plants you ripped out of the way until you were back to your territory. 

You nearly tripped from how quickly you had to stop yourself from continuing on at lightning speed, lest you get too close to the scene before you.

It was all red. 

Your eyes started to turn the same colour once they took in and fully analyzed what exactly they were looking at, your limbs became numb, your breath hitched, and bile rose to your throat as you saw the multitude of corpses littered all over your village grounds. 

The deceased bodies of the villagers, of your clan members.

“I tried to delay your arrival…what a shame, I really didn’t want you to see this.” 

This voice was familiar. You had just heard it not long ago.

Having never moved this fast before, you nearly gave yourself whiplash spinning around to see who was behind you. Any uneducated onlooker would notice your scarlet eyes and assume that they must have been burning, or at the very least were starting to burn, considering just how intense your gaze was and how much that deep red glowed. You were expressionless but your teeth were grit and your jaw was tightly clenched. Who dared to speak to you this way after you had just been witness to such a lachrymose sight?!

“I–you…” you sputtered, eyes widening impossibly and muscles seizing in shock when you realized just who dared. 

“Me.” It was spoken softly and quietly, yet it was so loud to you even as the only sound in your ears was the intense thumping of your heart–which felt like it was in your throat.  

The man you had just met with. And a silhouette further behind him, a diversely sized clump that was certainly a hidden group of people. A short trail of blood followed their location, starting thick and narrowing off into smaller drips the closer it got to them.

Why was he here, and who were those people?! You had no doubt that they were the cause of this, what was his connection to them? What else did he know if he had “tried to delay your arrival?”

“Y/N…” a frail voice came from your side, far and low and your head lashed down immediately to see the Clan Elder reaching a trembling hand in your direction. 

He was still alive. 

You wasted no time in scurrying to his side, dropping to your knees, and holding his hand with both of yours. The bloodied, empty sockets where his eyes once were made your blood run cold, and the sight of him shaking his head from side to side as if trying to look for you despite being blinded made you want to cry. 

You couldn’t help but think if you had been home sooner… could you have stopped this from happening? Or would you have fallen victim to the massacre as well?

The Elder’s grip on your arm intensified suddenly, making you gasp and wince in pain as he must have been exerting every last bit of life he had into that grasp. A shimmering white aura surrounded his body, flowing through to his hands and lighting up your skin where he was touching. You began to shake from the strength of it all, watching how suddenly he leaned closer to place his mouth by your ear so he could whisper;

“You’re pregnant.” 

Then he was gone. You could feel and see it all; the way his nails lifted back out of your skin, fingers unravelling from around your wrist as his limbs slid back down to his sides, lifeless. That surrounding glow was gone too, dimming out slowly until there was nothing left.

It didn’t feel real. 

You found yourself leaping away from the sudden hand on your back, scowling at the man from a newly created distance, watching him stand up straight after kneeling down to be at your previous level. Seeing him in such close proximity to your deceased clan made your gut churn, you felt sick. He couldn’t just let you mourn, was he not planning to just rip the bandaid off and admit that he was planning this, that he did this?! 

“Haven’t you realized your situation?” He wasn’t looking at you, his gaze was trained intently on the Clan Elder as his hands reached for his pockets. You watched him sharply, none of his movements going unnoticed as you were overwhelmed with the urge to protect everyone around you despite being too late. 

“Watch what you say to me next,” you warned. You did not have any formal combat experience, and any threat of violence was empty, but you didn’t doubt what could be granted to you by adrenaline. Your words must have intrigued the man though, he looked over at you with a grin and rotated his body so he was facing you completely.

“Y/N…” he whispered, using your name for the first time since your meeting which made your skin crawl, and he lifted his hands with upward-facing palms as he began to approach.

Backing away from him was instinctive, but you weren’t careful about your steps and lost your footing, falling backward. Landing on your back, the instant cushioning of your fall made you choke because that fall should have hurt and been solid–you should have landed on a cement path, you knew where you had been standing despite the heavy carmine liquid that was soaking into and staining the rock. 

You were stuck in your landing place for a moment, the sound of your racing pulse booming through your ears once more as you swallowed dryly and looked to your side, head twitching at a turtle’s pace. You didn’t want to see more of it, you already knew what you landed on and what you would be met with if you looked, but it was too late.

The eyeless, deeply frowning face of your husband-to-be. Dead.

Releasing a shrill cry, you could now feel your entire world crashing down. Despair replaced what was once burning anger inside of you. You couldn’t even fight the man off as he walked over and crouched down, lifting you up to a seated position, embracing you, and twisting your head into his chest to shield your eyes. He shushed you, caressed your hair, and rubbed your back, telling you that it was okay, that you were okay. 

He was so, so wrong, he certainly knew it too. The sweetness in his voice sounded false, much too tender in such a horrible situation that it may as well have just been full-on laughter at you. 

You heaved and gasped for air, your entire body shaking as you felt so helpless, trapped in the arms of your clan’s definite killer and embracing him atop the mound of dead bodies, bodies that belonged to those who were like family to you. It was blasphemous, but nobody else was here to help you now.

Everyone was gone. 

But did you deserve help anyway? You allowed this man to seduce you, to have you in his bed, and take you away from that family for so much time; enough for him to plan a killing spree of them all. This was your fault.

You felt his mouth on your cheek, giving a slow and tender kiss, and his hand came up as he pulled away to drag his thumb along where his lips once were. His voice was by your ear shortly after, and he whispered his next words for only you to hear. 

“Your life is completely in my hands now. I’ll destroy anyone that gets in my way, anyone that tries to get in between us. What a powerful family we’ll make together, I’m absolutely thrilled to meet our child."

Another kiss. And another. And one more, on your jaw this time. He was showering you in affection, effectively distracting you as he continued on with kissing, caressing, and embracing you while he stood and held you firmly against him, turning you both back to the path you arrived here on. He was essentially dragging you along like a body bag, you had been paralyzed moments ago once the sight of your deceased lover engrained itself into your memory forever–staying there, looking right at you every time you dared to blink. Your feet picked up remnants of blood as he hauled you along, creating clean lines in the excessive puddles of it where your shoes once were. 

What more could you have done? If you had never obeyed your Elder’s wishes and gone to the market, you would not have met this man whose name you still did not know. Your meeting seemed fated; as if he spared you on purpose, and this slaughter was already planned with the intention of leaving you out of it. But why? Would you ever know? 

All you could do was accept your fate, any future with the clan was finished, because they were not with you anymore. Your life would have no path without them, so you didn’t mind allowing your clan’s killer to be the dictator of your new life. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad, he was the father of your child after all, and you were a Kurta. Not all hope was lost.

© meyousing 2023. do not share/export my work on to any other platforms. do not translate my work. 

Oh the feeling of dread I got when I read this because you already know this cute little romance wasn’t gonna end any other way. I find this super relatable because while my social anxiety isn’t this bad (or maybe I’m deluding myself into thinking so as well) I felt just about the same way the insert character about the different scenarios happening I could FEEL the stress. This was super well done in my opinion.

Idée Fixe.

Yan Chrollo x F Reader.

Warnings: Some not SFW elements, yandere themes, unhealthy relationships, emotional manipulation, depictions of general & social anxiety disorder, depictions of a panic attack, mentions of anxiety medication, Chrollo administers medications to Reader without her consent, and mentions of religion. Also Chrollo just really, really sucks. Word count: 12.3k.

You met a strange man at the arboretum today.

Perhaps you aren’t in a position to describe others as ‘strange’, considering your latest proclivity for expressing earnest thanks to any honey bees you happen across for their service. After much contemplation, however, it’s ultimately the word you arrive at. ‘Strange’ not in a disconcerting sense that inspires fear, but just being out of the ordinary enough to exude an undeniable allure. A raised panel on the floor you stumble over yet suffer no serious injury from. 

Well-kept gardens might be the closest imitation to heaven on earth. That’s what brought you to this little oasis hidden in the desert that is urban life. It’s the type of day romanticists wax poetic about: baby blue skies, puffy clouds, and moderate temperatures with a light, forgiving breeze. 

You situated yourself strategically, so you’d be beneath the shade of a magnolia tree whose pink petals kept fluttering down as if in greeting, and near a patch of daffodils that matched the shade of your gingham dress. Blades of grass tickle your legs, but not unpleasantly so, they scratch an itch found only in nature’s loving reprieve. There’s no thought of upcoming assignments, what to eat for dinner, or if buying that purse you thought was a steal at 30% off was a good idea or not. 

It’s just you and your book. 

Until it isn’t. 

Every woman is connected in the experience that is trepidation whenever a man randomly approaches. There’s no telling his intentions, if he has any. You’re left to smile awkwardly and temporarily realign yourself with religion by praying to a higher deity for his hasty departure. You map out potential escape routes and recall the pepper spray situated in your impulse-bought purse. He gently calls out “Miss”, confirming that he hopes to speak with you. 

At least he has the propriety to stop a few paces from where you sit, electing not to intrude on your personal space. This causes your shoulders to relax. In the few seconds you’ve been made aware of his existence, you recognize his appealing features. He has loose, dark hair, along with wide and seemingly unassuming eyes. His outfit of a dark gray turtleneck accompanied by a black jacket and pants somewhat strikes you as odd, considering spring is in full bloom. Two other details steal your attention away from this; those being the beige wrapping around his forehead and his spherical, turquoise-colored earrings. It’s like he was caught undecided between wanting and not wanting to attract attention. 

“I’m sorry to bother you,” he begins. You try not to think about how pleasant his voice sounds. “I’ve been trying to make sense of the directory, but I’ve never been the best with directions. Do you by any chance know how to get to the Starling House?” 

You nod. It’s a quaint, centuries-old mansion, maintained by the non-profit that oversees the flora here. Getting over the initial apprehension from his approach, you try verbalizing the most efficient path to get there. This proves more difficult than you expected since the arboretum is vast and has few waypoints that can be used for reference. Still, throughout your explanation whose unhelpfulness you grow painfully aware of, he patiently nods and makes no attempts to rush you through. 

This willingness to put up with your scattered description wins over your sympathy, pushing you past your sheepishness. 

“I guess I’m not good at giving directions. I could just show you the way, if you’d like.” 

“I’d hate to disturb your reading, but… if it isn’t a bother, I’d certainly appreciate it.” 

You’re already setting your bookmark into place. “It’s no bother. This is my second time reading it, anyway. So don’t worry. I’m not being left off on a cliffhanger or anything.” 

He smiles at that. When you’re preparing to stand, he extends his hand, a gesture that gives you a momentary pause. Well, you are wearing a dress. You suppose it’s the polite thing for him to do. You accept his unspoken offer and he hoists you up without the least bit of exertion on his part. His hand is warm and bigger than yours, slightly coarse too, surprisingly. His immaculate presentation gave you the impression of a trust fund kid or something in that vein. He’s tasteful in ensuring his touch doesn’t overstay its welcome. 

Your heart pounds in your chest. 

You catch a hint of his cologne. Sandalwood, amber, and leather blend together to form a delightfully woody fragrance. As amazing as he smells, you create a little distance, walking ahead motioning for him to follow. His longer legs have no trouble catching up, yet he never creeps too close. 

The short journey that you expect to only be accompanied by the sounds of cardinals chirping and house finches singing is interrupted by the man speaking up again. Oddly enough, you don’t mind. 

“Do you find your thoughts on Prince Myshkin’s initially endearing simple heartedness changed, knowing how the book ends?” 

You pause, taking a moment to realize he must be familiar with the work. This revelation fills you with a tentative giddiness. It isn’t often you have a chance to delve into your literary thoughts to a willing audience. There’s plenty more you could say on the subject, but you try to exercise restraint nonetheless. 

“I thought I might, but I found myself more critical of the other characters instead.” 

“Oh? And why is that?” 

He appears genuinely interested, otherwise, you would’ve kept it at that. 

“Ah, well, maybe it’s that they serve as proof that innocence is never meant to last. Or if it does, it’ll inevitably be punished. There are moments where I feel frustrated with the Prince’s naivety… but then I stop and wonder why it’s so bad to want to see the best in people. Does that speak to a flaw in his character, or to a flaw in the character of others? Maybe it’s both. I can’t help but feel the Prince’s case is more sympathetic.” 

His eyes never leave yours while you give your answer. Heat rises to your cheeks and you internally groan over the prospect of making a stranger listen to your ramblings. He was probably just looking to make casual conversation, not everyone wants an existential crisis on a Saturday afternoon. 

“You must be someone who wants to see the best in people as well,” he surmises. There’s no hint of mockery in his tone — he’s oddly sincere. He says it with a hint of bittersweet nostalgia. 

Before you can hazard a response, you come across a sign displaying information for an event at the Starling House. The building itself lies in waiting atop a hill less than a quarter of a mile ahead. He stops to read it, as do you, operating under the assumption he came here for the event. It seems that they’re displaying historic artifacts from around the area. You suppose this will be where you part ways. You’re about to wish him well when he sighs, the miffed noise stopping you. 

“I got the time wrong,” he frowns, staring at his wristwatch. 

The sign says the event begins at 6:00 p.m. and a quick tap of your phone reveals it’s 4:00. 

“If you’re looking for a way to burn time, there’s a nice garden behind the House that’s always open to the public,” you explain. This piques his curiosity. “If the sage is in bloom, you might get lucky and see some hummingbirds.” 

“That does sound lovely,” he says. Then, his lips quirk up, promising the start of a smile. “Would you care to join me, Miss…?” 

You give him your name and he nods, as if deciding it fits you. 

“[First]. I understand if my tour guide wants to get back to her reading, though.” 

Bashfulness creeps up your back and threatens to sink its fangs into your neck. Your heart’s rhythm takes an erratic cadence. He’s posing the proposition in such a lighthearted way, offering an easy out if you want to take it. You internally weigh your options on a scale that’s worn from overuse. He’s being friendly, you tell yourself. That’s all it is. 

“Well, I guess I’d be a shabby tour guide if I didn’t show you where the gardens are.” 

On the brief walk to the gardens, the man introduces himself as Chrollo. You both situate yourselves on the same stone bench. You sit on the right, he sits on the left. Once again, he leaves you plenty of space, never testing boundaries. The scent of nascent sage wafts in the air. While you scan your surroundings for hummingbirds, he tells you that his work often necessitates travel, hence his unfamiliarity with the area. 

“Does it ever get lonely?” You ask, not thinking much of it. He gives you a look you can’t quite place, so you elaborate. “Traveling all the time, I mean.” 

He tilts his head, more inquisitive than offended. “What makes you think it’d be lonely?” 

“I just think I’d get homesick after a while, always being in an unfamiliar place. I’d miss my family and friends.” 

When he continues staring at you in silence with those unreadable eyes, you swear you want to slam your head repeatedly against a wall. Not everyone has a good relationship with their family or people to call their friends. The weight of your potential insensitivity comes crashing down on you like a tsunami. 

You move your hands around wildly, rushing to correct your discourtesy. “Uh, I mean, that isn’t to say you need those things!” 

“You don’t think I have any friends?” 

Your face must be radiating more heat than a furnace. Still, the embarrassment doesn’t reach a point where you’re unable to notice his omission of the word family. “I didn’t—” 

Contrary to the reaction you were expecting, Chrollo laughs. Not a little chuckle, but a genuine laugh, hearty in a way that stands in stark contrast to his otherwise reserved demeanor. The smile it imprints on his face somehow feels different than what he’s displayed before. Those were always so well timed, lasting as long as necessary and never a second more. It hits you then just how handsome this man is. Alabaster skin, soft and glossy hair, lips as rosy as the blush on his cheeks from his outburst of laughter. 

It doesn’t last long, he’s quick to school himself. The speed he does so is almost unnatural. “I apologize, I’m only teasing. You’re very expressive, [First].” 

You let out something between a huff and a sigh. “God, I felt so awful…” 

“I can tell,” he puts his hands up in mock surrender when you send him a non-threatening glare. “To answer your question… I’ve never thought about it much. I suppose it is lonely at times.” 

This revelation pours a bucket of ice-cold water over the embers of your indignation. Your face softens and a stinging pain shoots throughout your body. You can’t bring yourself to remain miffed when you’re the one who dredged this topic up. People use humor as a means to cope, that may be what Chrollo does. 

“Enough about me, though. I’m far more interested in you.” 

You shift in your seat. Did it always feel so warm out? 

“Here, let me guess. You’re certainly a student. Hm… of the humanities, perhaps?” 

“You got the student part right,” you agree. “I’m majoring in criminal psychology.”

There’s something like a twinkle in his eyes. “Oh? Is that so? You want to catch criminals, then?” 

“Er… not exactly. It’s more that I want to help them.”

He blinks. “Help them?”

“Not, like, as an accomplice,” you earnestly reassure, to which he smiles, “How do I explain it… take the city around us, right? It’s considered one of the most dangerous in the United States of Saherta.” 

As if on cue, a cacophony of police sirens begins blaring in the distance. 

“In the 80s and 90s, there was a surge of incarceration, yet crime as a whole set higher records each year. The policy at the time was ‘build more prisons, give longer sentences’. Obviously, that didn’t work out very well for anyone… except for private prisons maybe… that’s a whole different beast. Anyway, you reap what you sow. Crime rate is going down, but communities were gutted by these policies. There’s still a lot of work to be done. I want to understand ‘deviant’ behavior so I can see what safety nets would benefit them the most.” 

Chrollo is such an excellent listener that unlike before, you no longer feel the pressure to remain succinct and have little qualms completely delving into your passion. His body language suggests total engagement. 

“Ah, so you view crime as a result of societal shortcomings.” 

“It’s more nuanced than that,” you shake your head. “Hell, even when there were only four people on earth according to the Bible, Cain went ahead and committed murder anyway. That’s like… killing 25% of the population… how messed up. Wait. If there were only four people on earth, who did Cain go on to marry? How does that work…? Asexual reproduction…?” 

“The Quran says Cain and Abel both had twin sisters,” Chrollo offers. 

“Alright, that makes more sense than asexual reproduction. Okay! Enough about theology! Back to crime. There’s no totally eradicating it, but there is circumventing it. That’s what I want to help do.” 

You’ve been so preoccupied with verbalizing your thoughts, you failed to notice he’s scooted slightly closer to you. There’s enough room for decorum yet you can’t help feeling slightly flustered. Why this cute guy is still hanging around despite the fact you casually mentioned asexual reproduction not once, but twice, is a phenomenon that transcends human reason. 

This is so going to be one of those interactions that haunts you periodically at three in the morning for the rest of your life. 

“It’s a noble pursuit,” Chrollo comments. Then, he places a hand to his chin. “Forgive me if this comes off as pessimistic, but… what if you put in all that work, only for nothing significant to change?” 

You shrug. “I’ve considered that plenty, trust me. It’s fine if I don’t kickstart a utopia. So long as I can say I helped one person, that’s good enough for me.” 

“One person, huh?” 

It seems more like a rhetorical musing on his part, so you allow yourself to be momentarily distracted. In your peripherals, there’s a flash of colors, shades of green and red bleeding together. A low buzz accompanies the sporadic sight. The blur moves erratically, high to low, then low to high. 

You cover your mouth to stifle a gasp, then whisper to your companion, “Chrollo! Look! A hummingbird!” 

The thrum of nature is a wonder you’ll never tire of. It inspires awe that reflects in your eyes like a mirror, enchants without needing to cast a spell. You wrongly assume that Chrollo must be partaking in the same miracle that has stolen your attention. He’s fixated, yes, but not on the right subject matter. He’s still staring at you. This disruption of your expectations can only be explained away by the possibility he hasn’t spotted the creature yet. To remedy this, you slowly point in the hummingbird’s direction. Finally, he breaks his gaze from your form, acknowledging what it is you find so fascinating. 

By then, it’s too late. Your newly made acquaintance departs as swiftly as it arrived. 

“Aw, that’s a shame,” you lament. The disappointment you’d feel if you were in his shoes would be immeasurable. “You didn’t get to see it for very long.” 

You have no concrete proof, but you swear every smile he wears is different than the one before it. 

“It’s alright. I saw something far better.” 

Curious, you glance to your right, searching for whatever it is. You must’ve misinterpreted whatever he was looking at before. “Something better than a hummingbird?” 

“You could say that.” 

The remainder of the time you spend together is relatively uneventful. Chrollo asks you a great deal about yourself, ranging from your hobbies to book recommendations. You try to return the favor — as is only polite, in your opinion — yet the conversation never lingers on him long before circling back to you. It isn’t until you say you feel vain talking about yourself so much that he offers some morsels of knowledge. Aside from traveling for his occupation, he’s something of an antiquarian, hence his interest in the Starling House’s event. He also reveals he has colleagues coming into town soon, the aforementioned ‘friends’ you questioned the existence of. The way he teases is so devoid of malice, you can’t bring yourself to be upset. 

The hour flies by. Good looks aside, he’s a remarkable conversationalist. There’s never an awkward silence or social misstep. One could even call him perfection incarnate. His steady cadence, command of language, meticulously formed ideas… they’re reminiscent of cogs in an automaton turning together in complete harmony. Paradoxically, this immaculate image speaks to some underlying defect in his character he mustn’t want anyone to see. There is such a thing as being too perfect. 

For whatever reason, this draws you in closer rather than repelling you. 

Chrollo’s disappointment is palpable when he glances at his watch. It’s then you’re reminded that all good things must come to an end. 

“I—” 

“It—” 

You both start and stop talking at the same time. When it’s made obvious you intend to stay silent until he speaks his piece, he motions to you with his hands, insisting you go first. 

“It was very nice meeting you, Chrollo,” you say, your voice softening. It’s amazing how you can feel your previously discarded sheepishness returning in real-time. Amazing and annoying. “I, uh, hope you enjoy the event.” 

“Please, I should be the one thanking you,” he insists. Then, for such a well-spoken man, he goes uncharacteristically quiet. Deliberating on some issue you’ll never be privy to. “You’ve already helped me a lot, but could I possibly ask for one more thing?” 

You give a nod.

“May I have your phone number?” 

You stare at him.

He stares at you. 

You continue staring at him.

He continues staring at you. 

His request echoes through your head like it was spoken in a vast cavern. Phone number… phone number... you have one of those. He is asking for it. He wants to remain in touch. Indeed, that is what the statement normally means. Ah, it must be in a platonic sense! It’s nice to have someone to talk to, especially since you both share many interests. Not many of your friends are chomping at the bit to discuss if obtaining the philosopher’s stone was a literal practice or meant to be interpreted metaphorically. 

Whoops, you left the poor guy waiting for a response. 

“S-Sure!” 

He hands you his phone without delay. You put in your contact info, then hold it up for him to take. His fingers brush over yours when he picks it back up and you shiver. 

Well, that was certainly nice. You’re forming a blossoming friendship. You love making new friends. The word repeats in your head as if it were a broken record. Friends, friends, friends. Don’t look too into this. Put your magnifying glass down, brain. The stupid three pounds of gray matter delight in tormenting you with outrageous ideas and conclusions. There’s nothing flirtatious happening here. 

“Also, I hope you don’t mind my saying so…” he trails off, weaving a web you willingly allow yourself to get trapped in, “But you are very beautiful, [First].” 

… 

Ohhhh, he’s been flirting with you this entire time, hasn’t he? 

-

Going on a date is a harrowing experience. 

For some unknown reason, your traitorous amygdala regards going to a café at noon with the same severity it would if a lion were actively chasing you down. Your flight or fight response raises the banners of war. The army it amasses digs its trenches, readies the cannons, its matches lit to fire off the artillery on standby. Who is the dreaded opponent, one may ask? No one. Absolutely no one. Incredibly enough, you can actively recognize this fact, and still, your physiological response claims it knows better. 

Social anxiety is so stupid. You thought you and your body were supposed to be on the same team. Whatever inspired this mutiny, whether it be serotonin deficiency or some other science-y term you can’t pronounce, you most certainly don’t appreciate it. 

To be fair, your parent’s reaction didn’t inspire much confidence. Your dad was asking for information on Chrollo you’re 90% sure could be used to conduct a background check, whereas your mom posited the idea he’s a human trafficker. You felt like a lawyer trying to plead your case for why it’s okay that an adult such as yourself may go on a date (sacrilegious, you know, premeditated murder would be more excusable). With some solid arguments and a few instances of stretching the truth (this sounds far nicer than the word lying), the tempest was dissipated. If Chrollo ever were to meet your parents, you’ll have to tell him he’s actually a sensitive, poetic soul that donates to orphanages and saves kittens from burning down buildings. He’s also celibate. More important than any of those things, though, he’s a political centrist. 

Suddenly everything in your closet either felt prudish enough to befit a woman entering the convent, or raunchy enough you’d need to wear a trench coat to leave the house unobstructed. In the end, you find a skirt that’d pass your middle school fingertip test and a cute blouse that shouldn’t land you in purgatory. 

Your hands are shaking when you go to do the winged eyeliner on your left eye. Then you sneeze while applying mascara, granting a raccoon appearance you could’ve done without. You feel wound up so tight there a mere poke could shatter you into millions of pieces. This is great. Millions of years of evolution led up to this. That selfish, inconsiderate fish should’ve never grown legs and stepped on land. Everything’s gone wrong since then. Fuck that fish. 

Ultimately, you succumb and take one of your ‘stage fright’ medications. If it’s doing anything to help, you can’t tell yet. 

You have to beg your dad to stop staring out the window with a pair of binoculars. 

Eventually, a sleek black car pulls in front of your house. 

Following the theme of the day, you almost trip over yourself walking out the front door. Your phone buzzes — no doubt it’s Chrollo telling you he’s here — but you decide to just go to the car rather than text him back. He must’ve spotted you, for he exits and gives you a wave. You’re grateful he did that while a considerable distance away. There was a time a guy waved at you and you thought he wanted a high five. Needless to say, that was a traumatic incident no amount of therapy could help alleviate. 

“You look absolutely lovely,” he compliments. Your Broca’s area temporarily malfunctions at this bold declaration. Fortunately, you gather yourself fast enough to stop yourself from saying “you too”. 

“Thank you,” the phrase comes out as smooth as butter. You silently congratulate yourself for your immaculate delivery of two words. “Wow… you have such a nice car. And here I thought you were a fellow member of the middle class. Am I allowed to touch this?” 

Chrollo chuckles, having gotten used to the peculiar way you word things after all your electronic communication. No matter how you expressed yourself, he still texted you back, so you figured he must be okay with whatever it is you’re doing. He would’ve blocked you by now otherwise. 

His reply comes as he holds the passenger side door open. “Ah, don’t worry. There was a bit of a mixup at the car rental place. I wasn’t expecting something of this quality either.” 

You tuck this piece of knowledge away for later, should any sugar daddy-esque allegations be thrown your way. One can never be too prepared. 

Sinking into the leather seat is a luxurious experience, although it's cold against the exposed area of your thighs. Chrollo slides into the driver’s seat not long after and sets the car into drive. You silently wonder if your neighbors think you’ve gotten into an Uber. 

The short trip to the café soothes your electrically fried nerves. You’re once again reminded of how good he is at making you forget your anxiety, he could put SSRIs out of business. Or maybe the propranolol is finally working. Whichever it may be, by the time you both order your drinks, you feel more giddy than nervous. Is it a good idea to drink a caffeinated beverage when anxiety threatens to drag you into limbo at any second? Probably not. Does that mean you’re going to wisely choose a different beverage? Nope. 

The sunlight is harsher in the afternoon, but you find this is offset by an occasional breeze. No one else is present in the outdoor dining area except for you and Chrollo. You choose the seat facing a row of bushes so you can observe the house finches and house sparrows fluttering about. One little fella is helping itself to a dirt bath in the freshly spread-out mulch. You coo at the adorable display, pointing it out to Chrollo who admits it is a precious sight. You’ve made it your raison d'être to convince him that every bird is equally fascinating, whether it be a rainbow lorikeet or a common pigeon. 

He takes the first sip of the drink you recommended. 

“Well? What do you think?” 

“It’s good,” he decides with a smile. “I can see why you get it so often.” 

“Right? I’ve thought about conducting an Ocean’s Eleven type heist to get the ingredients they use to make it.” 

“Oh? Do you grant a moral exception to thievery?” 

Despite how lightheartedly he phrases this, his eyes have a certain intensity to them. You mull over the question for this reason. 

“Hm… it depends, I guess? Some people need to steal to survive. I probably wouldn’t care if a rich person or mega-corporation got stolen from either,” you say. He quirks an eyebrow at your last statement and you hastily add, “A-As long as no one gets hurt, of course.” 

He doesn’t bother trying to hide his amusement. “Your reasoning is very cute.” 

You groan and shrink back into the garden chair. “I know, I know, that probably came off as terribly naive and self-contradictory… the issue is complex. Giving a one-size-fits-all type of consensus feels impossible. How about you? What do you think?” 

“Coveting is mankind’s original sin,” Chrollo begins. He’s using a tone that tells you to prepare for an in-depth explanation. “It’s a theme that’s recurrent throughout history. David and Bathsheba, Hades and Persephone, Heathcliff and Catherine… we always want what we cannot have. This dilemma never leaves us entirely. We either ignore it, despair in it, or succumb to it. The desire to steal is as involuntary as the diaphragm contracting for us to breathe or the electric signals that cause our heart to beat.” 

A house finch begins its soulful serenade in the background. 

“Wouldn’t you say that calling it involuntary implies we can’t control it, though?” You query. 

“The only way to exercise total control over it is to kill it.” 

“Some parts of us are better off dead,” you decide. “Getting what you want doesn’t guarantee satisfaction. The examples you listed… maybe they were happy for a time, but ultimately, their transgressions caught up to them.” 

“Is a moment of bliss not worth a lifetime of anguish?” 

“Maybe, if I was a sensualist.” 

He rests his chin on his fist, the skin beneath his eyes crinkling with mirth. “Is that what you’re saying I am, darling?” 

Your eyes widen and you almost choke on your drink at the unexpected pet name. Warmth floods your cheeks and you take a long second to recompose yourself. Your blatant display of embarrassment further fuels his amusement, he actually chuckles. You consider kicking him under the table, but decide that isn’t very ladylike. Then you remember it's the twenty-first century, and to honor your feminist ancestors, you scrunch up a napkin into a ball and fling it at him. Although the aerodynamics of your makeshift projectile are questionable, it almost hits him. Until he catches it with admittedly impressive reflexes. 

“You have a good throwing arm.” 

“And you should consider retiring from your white-collar job to join a baseball team,” you take a sip of your delicious drink. This is definitely the most memorable date you’ve been on. “But no, I don’t think you’re a sensualist. I honestly don’t know how I’d classify you. You’re jaded… almost misanthropic. You acknowledge the world for what it is, but it’s like you once thought it could be better. You don’t care to be proven right or wrong about it anymore, you want something else.” 

“Ah… when put that way, I must seem pathetic,” he muses, his casual air hardly matching the severity of the words spoken. 

“Not at all!” Your passionate outcry appears to momentarily take him aback. “If you’re still looking for something, that means deep down, you have hope you might eventually find it. To me, that’s admirable.” 

He regards you for a few moments, before closing his eyes, his countenance strangely content. “You’re a very interesting woman, [First].” 

“Pfft, not really.” 

“I’m afraid this a point I’ll have to insist on,” or so he says, but you both know he secretly relishes his contrarian ways. “I have to wonder, though. How is it you came to gather any of this about me?” 

“Your opinion on books.” 

He blinks. “Pardon?” 

“We interpret media through a lens that’s formed by our experiences, so… I dunno. You can just infer a lot from what a person gets caught up with in a story.” 

In Chrollo’s case, what he doesn’t pay attention to is equally telling, although it took you a while to notice his unique display of apathy. He’d brush on certain themes while giving a rather surface-level commentary. Playing it safe, almost. He still had such an excellent way of weaving his words, that telling it came from another person's loom was difficult. It wasn’t until you hit on a subject he truly cared for that you could tell the difference. He’d give insights so particular to him that they must contain the true essence of his character. 

Even if it is a mere glimmer. 

He speaks your name.

“Hm?” 

“About what I’m searching for…” he unwraps the napkin you unceremoniously threw his way earlier, smooths out the wrinkles, then returns it. “I think I may have found it.” 

-

Everything has a way of escalating faster than you anticipated. 

You’re about thirty minutes into the movie Perfect Blue. For some time now, you’ve been praising its merits to Chrollo, who recently said you should watch it together. This begged the question of where. In the months since you’ve begun dating, while your parents have taken a liking to him, you didn’t think the subject matter of the movie should be proudly displayed in your living room. 

To remedy this, Chrollo suggested watching it in his hotel room. 

You couldn’t fully explain your initial apprehension if you tried. You felt comfortable around him and have been alone together plenty. Yet for some reason, being alone with a man in a hotel room produced this mental image you weren’t sure you were ready for. He never pushed you or asked why you seemed hesitant to take things further than kissing and some light petting. His lack of questioning had the unintended side effect of birthing different doubts. 

Does he not want anything else? Is he only acting like it doesn’t bother him? Will a day come when he tires of your squeamishness and simply moves on? 

It’s this taunting mantra that haunted you in the lobby, the elevator, then the long, impersonal hallway to his room. 

Your chest feels heavy enough that you wonder if lead has filled your lungs. 

When he sat next to you on the couch, you barely registered his presence, much less his question if the temperature in the room felt agreeable. At some point, his arm wrapped around your shoulders. Then his hand began to meander, although his attention never left the screen. He played with your hair. Gently stroked your forearm. His hand wandered down, down, down, to the hem of your skirt. He straightens the lightly bunched fabric out. Your heart pounds. 

Chrollo’s fingers stay there, seemingly placated. 

During the scene where Mima sees her reflection as her idol persona, his hand creeps onto the exposed skin of your thighs. He gives it a gentle, tentative squeeze. A soft gasp leaves you and your attention turns to him. Immediately, your eyes meet his in the dark. The side of his face is lightly illuminated by an array of cool tones. He uses his free hand to cup your chin, the pad of his thumb rubbing your lower lip. 

“Can I kiss you?” 

He speaks the question with such rapture, low and quiet. 

Your heart violently hits your ribcage like it’s trying to burst free. 

Silently, you nod. He tilts his head to the side and slots his lips against yours. There’s a pleasant buzz that tries so hard to overpower the frantic adrenaline pumping through your veins. Your body is at war with itself; indulgence or indignance. It’s a conflict that’ll never have a winner. You want to enjoy it — and you are, you think — so why does your biological makeup hold you as a prisoner without ransom? He tastes nice, feels nice. He did everything right. You don’t want to tremble at what’s a normal aspect of a relationship as if it were death itself hanging over your head. 

It’s this mounting frustration at your condition that spurs you into action. 

While maintaining the languid kiss, you situate yourself on his lap, a gesture that causes him to inhale sharply. He may be as surprised at your boldness as you are. You snake your arms around his neck and intensify the kiss. Humming, he reciprocates your ardor. His tongue runs along the seam of your lips and you grant him entry. He tastes of dark chocolate and mint, a combination you wish you could get drunk on, if only to put your tense body at ease. 

One hand squeezes and massages your thigh, the other cups your feverish face. In this position, you’re afforded no modesty. You can feel your skirt hiking up, exposing more of you. His fingers explore the new territory. They venture dangerously close to your panties, though he doesn’t go beyond there, as if respecting an invisible barrier. The cocktail of emotions this invokes is impossible to properly sort through. 

Can he feel the heat emanating from your body? Your pulse which finds new highs every minute? You want to lose yourself, but you can’t, your anxiety always drags you back kicking and screaming. It is an unforgiving warden that thinks you’d be better off in a cell. 

Chrollo admires you when you pull back, in desperate need of air. You’re starting to feel dizzy and you don’t know if it’s the right kind. There’s something hard forming beneath where you sit. His lust for you is apparent, and you want to please, want to be normal. It should be fun. Your friends regale you with stories of taking strangers home and never feeling more than butterflies in their stomach. That’s what you want. Not this contortion of the aforementioned organ that makes you think your insides are slowly liquifying. 

You still haven’t fully caught your breath, each one growing more shallow, more panicked. He finds other ways to entertain himself, namely, by lavishing your clammy skin with kisses. Your jawline, neck, then collarbone. He’s so calm you think you might be envious. Finally, he works his way back up, teasing your earlobe with his teeth, his breath warm as it fans against you. 

Thump, thump, thump. 

“[First],” his voice sounds like it’s coming from underwater. Garbled, distant. “Should we take this to the bedroom?” 

You break into too many shards to fix. 

You get up. Straighten your skirt. You think you mutter something about needing a moment. Your legs don’t feel right. They move anyway. The bathroom’s door knob is like ice. You grab a hand towel. Turn on the faucet. Soak the towel until it drips water down the sink basin. Sit on the floor. The tiles are almost as cold enough to help. You place the towel around your neck. Your ears are ringing and you wish they’d stop. You hug your legs to your chest. What is it you’re supposed to do? Breathe? 

It’ll pass, it’ll pass, it’ll pass. 

It always does. 

Just hold on a bit longer. 

Feeling comes back in your hands first. It spreads throughout your body, though the antidote is far too late. Exhaustion is the next thing you register. The kind that seeps into your cells, makes your limbs feel like dead weight. Cognition returns as well. You remember where you are, who you’re with, what you’ve done. 

It’s been a while since you’ve experienced one of these. Somehow, it’s worse than you remember. Infinitely worse. 

A shiver runs down your spine. Has it always been so cold? You wonder what temperature your body was running at for you not to have noticed sooner. 

How nice it is that your homeostasis decided to return. Is your sympathetic nervous system giving itself a pat on the back? Celebrating and popping champagne bottles at yet another job well done? We’ve done it successfully again, folks, you imagine it cheering. We’ve stopped her from doing something completely normal and harmless! 

You’d laugh, but this time, you can’t bring yourself to. 

As tempting as it is to stay here and pray for the tile floor to swallow you whole, you sincerely doubt that’ll happen, so you’re left with the far less appealing option of being an adult and facing the predicament you’re in. Getting back up, you’re treated to a glimpse of your reflection. 

The change in your complexion would make any onlooker think you’ve seen a ghost. 

Abruptly, you’re fourteen again, trying to get your mom’s attention so you can beg her to take you home because the social gathering of ten or so people is just too much. Next, you’re fifteen, talked into some weekend youth getaway because saying ‘no’ makes you feel guilty and the car ride has another two hours remaining. You feel sick, terribly sick, but you don’t want to get sick, because then your peers would think you’re strange, so you sit there and endure. Then you’re sixteen, locked in the stall of your high school bathroom, trying not to pass out because you think it’d be an inconvenience to anyone that happened upon you. 

You thought you were over this. You’ve done the therapy, read the self-help books, and taken your medication every day like clockwork. 

What’s left for you to do? 

Why does it always come back? 

Chrollo asks if everything’s alright when you walk back over to the couch. You say yes. He then asks if he can get you anything. A glass of water, please, is your reply.

You can tell he’s examining you when he hands the glass over. Your face warms — not in a fun way. The television screen is dark and yet you’re fixated on it like it’s the most intriguing thing in the world. Going from feeling as if you’re a stranger in your own body to being hyper-aware of everything never fails to give you whiplash. You can hear the low thrum of the air conditioning, footsteps coming from the hallway, the steady drip of the sink he filled your glass from. You think to rub your eyes then stop yourself; that’d smudge your mascara. It’d be nice if he could at least think you’re pretty as you struggle to hold yourself together. 

“Was it something I did?” Chrollo questions. He almost sounds… curious, a concept you furiously scrub from your head. You’re exhausted and your brain is waving the white flag. Attributing false interpretations to his words is not going to help. 

“N-No, not at all, I, um,” you have the words, you just don’t want to say them, so you opt for taking another drink instead. The glass runs out of water, your safe haven disappearing with it. “Just… a panic attack. It happens… sometimes.” 

“Entirely unprompted?” 

You gnaw on your lower lip. “Kind of…? It— nothing about it is exactly logical. I can know I’m fine, believe it too, and still, that doesn’t matter. It’ll happen anyway. I guess I have some reservations about that level of physical intimacy, but what my body decides to do is completely overkill.” 

“You always minimize the role your anxiety plays in your life,” Chrollo points out. You’re grasping the glass tight enough that your knuckles hurt. “You can’t mention it to me without making light of it in some way. Is there a reason for that?” 

Well, he’s got you there. 

You’re about to joke and ask if he’s the one studying the behavioral sciences, when you realize that’d just be proving his point. 

So uncharacteristic acrimony bubbles to the surface instead.

“A reason? I can give you more than one. It’s stupid, it’s annoying. The most simple things become like a fucking life or death experience for me and I can’t stand it,” you feel tears gather at your lower lashline but you’re too far gone to care. It’s a good thing your mascara is waterproof. “And then I… I think sex sounds nice, but when it actually gets to the moment, I feel so guilty and anxious and wrong that I leave my partner frustrated or thinking they’re some sort of monster.” 

Usually, Chrollo's countenance is difficult to read, but there’s this raw emotion that makes itself known. Understanding? Relief? You don’t know for certain. It disappears without a trace, leaving you no way to confirm or deny your intuition. It’s probably too fried to be reliable, anyway. 

“Hm… you must think all this would put me off, then. Make me want to move on to someone else.” 

A knife stabbing you in the gut and twisting its blade until your viscera turned to mush would hurt less. 

“Sweetheart, I was already aware that it was worse than what you let on,” his voice sounds so kind and near, you marvel at it, the gravitational pull drawing you in. You barely realize he’s brought you into an embrace. Your cheek is against his chest, right above his heart. His has a calm, steady rhythm, whereas yours is picking back up once more. “Your avoidance of talking on the phone, how soft your voice gets when interacting with strangers, the way you act like you’re an inconvenience by asking for the slightest assistance.” 

The tears you tried holding in break free, soaking into the fabric of his shirt. 

“I find these qualities of yours very endearing. You can go from passionately speaking about your interests over dinner to going shy the second the waiter walks over. You care so much, feel so much… it’s a wonder to me. You experience this life in the exact opposite manner I do.”

With the hand he isn’t using to keep you secure against him, he rubs your back up and down. 

“Ah, my poor, sweet girl. What a tender heart you have,” he whispers. His grip on you tightens. That’s when you hear it — the undeniable sound of his heart beating a bit faster than it did before. “I wouldn’t give it up for anything. Not after all the effort I put into stealing it for myself. No, I’m almost hurt you entertained the thought. Have I ever treated you with anything less than the utmost care? Hm?” 

Chrollo starts to pull you away from him, yet you refuse, clinging adamantly to his torso in an attempt to hide your face. He ignores the way you shake your head and by exerting the slightest force, achieves his original goal. His fingers find purchase on your chin, which he tilts upward, allowing himself an unobscured view of your puffy eyes and runny makeup. He smiles, wiping away your tears with such gentleness, he must think you’re made of porcelain. 

Sniffling, you remember he asked you a question, and attempt cobbling together a coherent response. Such is the polite thing to do. “I guess not.” 

“And why do you think that is?” 

“... The once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to conduct an in-depth case study for your future dissertation on GAD and SAD?” 

His visage lands somewhere between mild bemusement and exacerbation. “I know you’re smarter than that. Try again.” 

“My winning personality, once you wade through all the mental illness?” 

“That certainly plays a role.” 

“I know I’m cute, too. I suppose that helps. Otherwise, I’d be completely and utterly fucked.” 

“Yes, yes — you are terribly cute.” 

Sensing your hesitancy to land on a definitive answer, he decides to spell it out himself. “I’m fond of you, to a degree I previously thought myself incapable of. I have a… callous disposition, for lack of a better word. Yet for whatever reason, this doesn’t seem to bother you. I’ve never cared for subjective terms like ‘good’ or ‘evil’, but… if there is goodness in this world, it’d be found in you.” 

Chrollo’s knuckles brush against your cheekbone as he speaks, seemingly bewitched by the glittering stream your tears left behind. Tangible proof of your emotions that tumult like a tempest, whereas his often remains an unmoving body of water. 

You take his cheeks in your hands and glare at him. This time, when your lower lip trembles, it’s with righteous anger, not sorrow. “Why do you always talk about yourself like you’re the world’s biggest villain?” 

His eyes slightly widen — you’ve never used a tone like this with him before, or anyone else, for that matter  — though his composure doesn’t wane for long. 

“So what if you don’t think everything is sunshine and rainbows? You aren’t heartless; you just know the dangers of putting your heart on display for everyone else to see. I can’t blame you for that, from what you’ve told me.”

He’s never been particularly forthcoming about sharing details from his past. What you do know is that he grew up in extreme poverty, without parents or a guardian, scraping by with some other children in a similar situation. You never pushed to learn more. There was this quiet melancholy that possessed him in the rare moments he shared glimpses of his childhood. The specters that haunted him could almost be felt lingering in the atmosphere, turning the air heavy and thick. 

“You lost a precious friend in such a cruel way. That loss of innocence, it’s unforgivable, it’s completely unfair…!”

This time, your tears aren’t for you, they’re for a little boy you’ll never know and a girl that you couldn’t if you tried. “I don’t get why you’re so harsh on yourself. You act like you’ve done something unforgivable.” 

He parts and closes his lips. Whatever he intended to say, he must’ve decided against it. Instead, he pulls you back against him, almost greedily. He presses kisses atop your head then murmurs a few words you can’t quite catch. Your body is deprived of energy, having flickered through almost every major emotion a human being can experience. If your parents wouldn’t have fussed over the act, you could’ve fallen asleep on him for the night. 

The person who inadvertently caused your blistering anxiety is also the best balm for it. 

It’s unexplainable, teetering on the edge of delusion, this sentiment that he could shield you from all harm. He’s always so sure of himself when you remain plagued by indecisiveness. He can talk you out of any irrational thought, anchor you when a stressful situation is beginning to be too much, and understand you almost eerily well. He’s able to piece together your chaotic thought processes with next to no context. He listens to you, remembers everything you say (and you mean everything), and genuinely values your input, even if he disagrees with your opinions. 

This level of an intimate connection is unlike anything you’ve ever experienced. 

“No one’s ever cried for my sake before,” he thinks aloud. He’s stroking your back again, almost mindlessly. You swear there’s something magical about his touch. 

“Do you think I’m weird?” 

“There are a lot of words I’d use to describe you,” he decides. As always, he’s clever at avoiding questions he doesn’t wish to answer. “Currently, the one that stands out to me the most would be…” 

You feel his lips curl into a smile against you. 

“Warm.” 

-

The arboretum is far different in autumn. Green leaves have transitioned into rich auburn and golden shades, hesitant buds nowhere to be seen. The grass beneath your feet is crunchier, the foliage dry and scattered, almost as if it were trying to form a protective sheath for the earth. No longer can you hear the melody of grasshoppers and buzzing from busy bees. The wind whistles when it blows, the underlying frostiness biting at your cheeks and ears. 

“Ah, would you look at that, it’s a junco,” Chrollo points out. You cover your mouth to muffle a gasp. Thanks in part to your guidance, he’s gotten better at identifying different types of birds. While you’d like to think it’s because he appreciates them too, you’re convinced he finds your excited reaction far more interesting. 

The little blob of black and white hops to and fro, using its feet to rummage for anything edible. You silently lament your lack of birdseed. You’ll have to settle for cheering the tiny friend on from afar. 

Hand in hand, you both traverse the area of your original meeting. Sweet nostalgia swirls in your chest. You’ve always found it befuddling how a single chance encounter can permanently change the trajectory of your life. In the moment, you have no idea how your actions will go on to form ripples that influence the future. Whether this is chaos theory or some other fancy metaphysical-sounding concept, you haven’t the slightest clue. 

What you do know is that meeting Chrollo was a catalyst for something greater. 

A wave of chills cascades over you.

“Are you cold?” He inquires, his tone having this ‘I told you so’ quality to it that you don’t appreciate. You’re wearing a light beige, plaid fitted blazer, that while chic, doesn’t have much insulation. You waved off his initial concern by saying you’ll warm up once you both get to walking around. So much for that. 

“Cold is a mindset,” the chattering of your teeth doesn’t do much to help your cause. He raises an eyebrow. “Mind over matter… mind over matter…” 

Chrollo shrugs his coat off and drapes it over you. “I wouldn’t want you to get sick, dear.” 

“You sound like my grandma.” 

“The one who tried taking my head wrappings off, or the one who kicked me?” 

“A combination of the two that coalesces their tendency to fuss over me.” 

“You’re very easy to fuss over,” Chrollo chuckles at the face you make at him. “You’re absolutely precious. It’s a mystery to me how you make the smallest acts endearing.” 

At this, you strike a dumb pose, winking at him all the while. “Aha, it’s no mystery. You have my irresistible charm to thank for that.” 

He sighs wistfully. “Indeed I do.” 

Although the sage gardens behind the Starling House are no longer in bloom, you decide to swing by anyway. The plans for the remainder of your day follow a similarly simple yet pleasant precedent. You’re going to go window shopping in a quaint commercial district, grab something to eat at a pub, then end the night off with a movie. Chrollo’s trying to convince you to watch some indie flick that’s in black and white and uses a 1.19:1 ratio. You want to watch Alien, a classic he’s never seen like the weirdo he is. 

The walk isn’t long or monotonous. It’s so idyllic that you could believe you’re the only two people in the world. 

However, that isn’t the case. Upon entering the garden, you’re quick to note the presence of another.  

A young woman is kneeling down, murmuring under her breath. She’s acting as if she’s lost something and can’t find it. Frowning, you detach yourself from Chrollo, approaching her with the intent to offer your assistance. She doesn’t lift her head upon hearing the obvious sounds of your footfall. She just continues blindly grasping at the ground. 

“Miss?” You ask, to which her entire body freezes. “Did you drop something? I could help you look for it.” 

She mutters another incomprehensible jumble of words. 

“Hm? What was that?” 

You lean over in an attempt to hear her better. 

Then, much to your confusion, she enunciates your full-given name. Even while doing this, she doesn’t spare you a single glance. 

“Have to… have to…” she’s back to being difficult to make sense of, “I have to…”

 A strange sensation possesses you.

Have you met this woman somewhere before? You do a quick mental scan of her disheveled appearance and come up with nothing definitive. Her hair is matted, her complexion sallow and her cheeks sunken in. Her disoriented state stirs concern within you. It’s a good sign that she’s still conscious and exhibiting motor functions, but the longer you examine her, the more you can tell she isn’t in a proper state of mind. You don’t want to leave her out here alone in such a vulnerable state. You try to push aside the uncanny feeling that came from her apparently recognizing you when you’re certain you’ve never met. 

Chrollo speaks your name. Turning around, you face him just in time to catch a surreal expression forming on his countenance. His eyes widen slightly, his lips part, then he’s reaching out for you. 

The passage of time grinds temporarily to a halt. 

And then there is a visceral burst of energy. 

It’s as if a blizzard manifests from the direction the woman is hunched over in. There’s this thick, harrowing tension that causes your legs to buckle at the knees. Swirls of negative emotions wrap around you in shadowy tendrils. Grief. Hysteria. Rage. Bitterness. Most notable, however, is the sickening yearning to inflict harm. How can a human being produce and project such raw feelings? It’s like hatred itself has been given a palpable form, submerging you in a swamp of mire. 

You don’t understand what’s happening to you, but you do have this primal foreboding that the longer you’re exposed to it, the more endangered you’ll be. 

In the millisecond it takes for you to blink, Chrollo is no longer in your line of sight. 

It’s strange, you think. There are no knives, guns, explosives; or anything that could hurt you in the traditional sense. In a way you could understand and reliably assess the threat level of. 

And still, despite this uncertainty, you have this unshakable premonition that death isn’t far away. 

-

You wake up in a bed that is not your own. 

Your body is drenched in sweat, your muscles sore, and your head feels as if it’s being clamped in a vice-like grip. Trying to get up proves to be a poor decision. Nausea and dizziness force you to lie back down. You take shallow, frantic breaths, wincing at yet another wave of throbbing coming from your temples. Your senses aren’t reliable either. The first few times you open your eyes, dark spots dot your vision. Then there’s your hearing, or lack of. There’s this distant ringing that while slowly fading, isn’t replaced by anything better. Your hearing grows so muffled you almost think earplugs have been jammed in your ear canal. 

Groaning, you manage to lift yourself off the mattress with trembling arms. The dark spots fade away enough for you to make out your surroundings. 

You’re in Chrollo’s hotel room, lying on his bed. 

It’s nighttime. The digital clock sitting on the bedside table reads 3:40 a.m.  

The next thing you do is feel around for your phone. It should be in the back pocket of your jeans, but it isn’t there. 

The brisk air takes your breath away when you tug the comforter off. Your body groans with protest at all the movement, yet you ignore its request to lay back down, the situation at hand far too perplexing. Your outfit is the same as the one you put on this morning, aside from your boots, which sit together near the wall. You then assess your body for any physical injuries, finding nothing visible to explain your current malaise. Are you hungover? Frowning, you dismiss the idea. You know your tolerance well and never try pushing it. 

Taking small steps and using the wall as leverage, you make your way over to the adjoined bathroom. You fill a dental cup with water and down it instantly. After satiating your thirst, you call out for Chrollo, your voice gravelly with sleep. 

No response. 

Sighing, you slink over to the closed bedroom door. Your equilibrium steadies itself enough that you only need to grab onto something every few steps. The handle doesn’t budge. You try again, exerting more force — still nothing. The subsequent attempts end in the same manner. There’s no denying it, it’s been locked. That begs the question of why. Safety, maybe? It’s possible Chrollo stepped out for whatever reason and wanted to ensure no one could get to you. Then again, that’s what the deadbolt on the door leading to the hotel hallway is for. 

You don’t want to start rattling the door and making a scene when you’re certain there’s a solid explanation for this. He has to come back eventually, his stuff is still here. Although, you can’t help noticing how sparse his personal belongings are. The book he was reading no longer sits on the bedside table, the framed picture of the two of you gifted by your parents isn’t on the wardrobe either. Next, you check the closet, finding it in a similarly desolate state. You once pillaged a shirt of his when you grew tired of wearing a dress, so you know its usual presentation. The hangers remain on the rack yet everything else is gone.

Chrollo told you his job had placed him in this city indefinitely. Is he planning to move to another hotel? 

Not knowing what else to do, you sit on the edge of the bed. The former pounding in your head has soothed into a far less egregious dull ache. You must’ve been asleep for a decent chunk of time, this initial grogginess is what you experience upon first waking up in the morning. You hope you weren’t unconscious for too long. It's an unsettling thought, being in that vulnerable state, totally shut off from the world. 

A few minutes of absentmindedly admiring the twinkling lights that make up the city skyline’s pass. 

Then you hear the door handle jingle. 

Chrollo silently examines you. It’s almost as if he’s gauging your entire being, anticipating what is to come. His mouth is set in a straight line and he’s standing unnervingly still. There’s this intensity to him that has you breaking off eye contact. Your mouth goes dry and you temporarily forget how to form words. You had so many burning questions in his absence, why is it that they've been wiped clean from your head now that he’s here? 

When you find the courage to look up at him again, there’s not a vestige of his former expression. The grave lines have smoothened out and you no longer believe you’re face to face with a stranger. 

“How are you feeling?” He’s quick to close the distance. The mattress dips, adjusting to his presence by your side.  

“Oh, uh, not the best, but… I don’t think it’s anything serious,” you say. Silvery moonlight shines into the room, illuminating him in an otherworldly veil. Goosebumps line your skin when he takes the side of your face into his hand. He’s cold. “I’m mostly just confused. Is— is everything okay? Why am I here?” 

“How much do you remember?” 

Remember, remember… that’s right, you hadn’t given that much thought. You pick through your hazy memories aloud. “Well, we were at the arboretum, just walking around. I remember heading to the gardens behind the Starling House. Then… um…” 

You squint and furrow your eyebrows together. It’s as if your recollection was a film reel that had been trimmed after that point. You try piecing together a mental image of the garden. Hummingbirds? Sage? No, that isn’t right, you’re thinking of its spring appearance. The colors would be more muted, there’d be less shrubbery. The image grows sharper.

Then there’s a shadow. 

Vaguely human-shaped, situated right in the middle of the mosaic you’re trying to form. Their outline isn’t solid, it’s splotchy, like water paint left to run on a canvas. 

Finally, something clicks. 

“That woman!” You exclaim. The corner of his lips twitch downward. “That’s right! Is she okay? She seemed so out of it.” 

“I’m not sure.” 

“How is that possible? You were—” 

“Let’s focus on you for now,” he cuts you off. There’s a finality in his voice you can’t bring yourself to challenge. “Can you tell me what symptoms you’re experiencing?” 

“Um, some disorientation and a headache.”

“I see. I’ll get you some painkillers, then.” 

You grab his wrist to stop him when he starts getting up. “I’d really prefer you told me what happened first.”

When he doesn’t immediately acquiesce to your request, you quietly add, “Please.” 

His eyes soften at your gentle, uncertain timbre. He intertwines his fingers with yours and gives your hand an encouraging squeeze. 

“Earlier, when we arrived at the garden, you grew lightheaded and fainted.” 

You take a moment to process the information. It seems plausible enough, yet the more you mull over it, the more little details start to catch your attention.

“Okay…” you trail off, pursing your lips. A vengeful throb from your head causes you to wince. He notices — frowns — then places a featherlight kiss against your forehead. The thoughtful gesture doesn’t invoke any pleasant warm fuzzy sensations. “So I fell unconscious for over ten hours and you didn’t… call an ambulance…?” 

“That is correct.” 

You shuffle in your seat, momentarily taken aback at how easygoing he’s acting about the entire ordeal. “Why?” 

“I’ve been monitoring your vitals,” he reassures. Sensing your growing apprehension, he adds, “I can promise that you were never in serious danger. I would’ve acted accordingly if you were.” 

The phrase ‘acted accordingly’ doesn’t tell you much either. What does he mean by that? Is there some threshold you needed to enter for him to have taken you to the hospital? Your various volunteer experiences with the city’s vulnerable communities taught you that if a person is unresponsive for over a minute, an ambulance should be called, just to be on the safe side. Besides, isn’t that just common sense? Chrollo is an intelligent man. You can’t fathom any line of reasoning that’d justify not erring on the side of caution. 

You glance at the clock again. 4:03 a.m. glows in the dim light of the room. It’s late. You wonder what your parents—

Holy shit. 

“Do my mom and dad know?” You glance around as if expecting to find them. There’s no way they wouldn’t have insisted on calling emergency services if you were unconscious for that long. 

“I didn’t inform them, no.” 

“What?” You make no attempts to tone down your incredulity. “Then— they must be out of their minds with worry! My phone, where’s my phone? I need to tell them I’m okay!” 

You shoot up off the bed too fast and your body doesn’t take kindly to the rushed movement. Debilitating lightheadedness causes you to lose your balance. Chrollo steadies your swaying form and helps sit you back down. You scoot away from him as far as you can, your thoughts an absolute mess. Nothing here is making sense. It’s not even a puzzle that’s missing a few pieces, there’s almost nothing to work with at all. 

He’s staring at you in that strange, anticipatory manner again. It makes your stomach churn. 

“My phone, Chrollo,” you hold your hand out. “There’s no way you don’t have it.” 

“I’m afraid I can’t give it to you,” he sounds apologetic too, which makes your subsequent temper flare up even worse. 

“What is wrong with you?” You hiss, exasperation winning out. You were trying to be reasonable, but that is over and done with. “You’re acting like— like there’s nothing weird happening! Can you please take this seriously? You’re really starting to freak me out.” 

“There’s nothing wrong with me. I knew this wouldn’t be easy for you, so I wanted to remain calm for your sake.” 

Your tongue couldn’t properly form words if your life depended on it. Sure, remaining calm in a crisis is helpful, but he isn’t acting like this is a crisis. He’s treating it as if he was burdened with sitting you down to relay bad news that no one else had the heart to share. 

You’re starting to think you don’t know the person you’re talking to. 

“For my sake,” you repeat in a wry deadpan. “If that’s true, then tell me what’s actually going on, Chrollo. Because I know you’re bullshitting me.” 

Not calling the ambulance or informing your parents, withholding your phone… then there’s the matter of how he got you here in the first place. Did he carry you through the lobby? No good samaritans thought it was unusual to see a man carrying an unconscious woman up to his room? Hotel staff these days are trained to have a vigilant eye for these situations too. Not one person thought it might be a good idea to ring up law enforcement over such a blatantly suspicious act? 

Nothing is adding up. 

“I’m being more forthcoming than you think,” Chrollo says, as if he’s doing you a favor. He tries reaching out for your hand again, only this time, you don’t allow him. “Everything I’ve said and intend to say is the truth, even if you don’t particularly like it.” 

That’s a hell of a creative way of putting it!

“Who was that woman earlier? What did she do to me?” 

“I have someone ironing out the details, but from what I’ve gathered, she was sent with the intention of killing you. I don’t believe she was aware of the fact herself until you entered her vicinity, triggering the necessary condition for the true culprit’s ability to activate. Otherwise, I certainly wouldn’t have allowed you to get so close.” 

Someone was sent to kill you? You? A run-of-the-mill college student who has no enemies to speak of? It’s not like you’re a part of the fucking mob. That can’t be right, not to mention the bizarre jargon he’s using. There’d be no plausible motive. If he says she was sent, and you choose to believe he isn’t making this all up, that implies it was premeditated. Not a spur-of-the-moment decision. That’d almost make more sense. 

That is, unless… 

You stare at him, eyebrows knitting together. 

“If you’re telling the truth — and right now, that’s a big fucking if — does this have something to do with you?” 

“That’s my clever girl,” he praises, entirely devoid of condescension. The pure fondness in his voice makes you sick. It’s almost as if he’s delighting in watching you piece this nightmare together. “Yes, you haven’t deliberately done anything to earn the wrath of the wrong people. They simply know getting to me is near impossible, hence their decision to go for the next best thing instead. That’d be you, dear.” 

“Oh my god,” you bury your head in your hands. “Why… why am I not freaking out more? I should be hysterical, or, or— I don’t know…” 

“Beta blockers,” he reveals. You look at him like he’s speaking another language. “In anticipation of how… touchy this conversation was going to be, I thought it might be best for you to be in a good headspace while receiving this information for the first time.” 

“You drugged me?” 

“If that’s how you want to look at it.” 

“Because that’s how it is!” 

A lump forms in your throat and lodges itself there. Are you stuck in a hellacious dream? Or hallucinating, perhaps? Visual hallucinations aren’t supposed to be this cohesive or clear. There has to be another explanation. Something you’re missing that’d make this all go away. The beta blocker admission certainly holds weight. Your heart rate, while slightly elevated, isn’t anywhere near as chaotic as it should be. It’d explain the general malaise, fatigue, and lightheadedness too. That, and you doubt you’d be able to think this clearly if there wasn’t something heavy pumping through your system. 

Your eyes hesitantly settle on Chrollo, who sits there perfectly still and almost relaxed. He’s observing you like a hawk. 

“Listen,” you try using a mellower voice. He raises an eyebrow at your drastically different approach. “You had ample opportunity to hurt me and you didn’t. That must mean you have my best intentions at heart, right? Why don’t we try to work something out, because this isn’t sustainable. My absence isn’t going to go unnoticed.” 

Chrollo sighs, heavy if not unsurprised. “Sweetheart, I’m not suffering a break from reality, although I’m sure you’d prefer to rationalize it that way. I assure you I’m lucid and everything I’ve done is intentional. You’ll come to accept it eventually.” 

It isn’t going to help, yet you feel your remaining grains of patience slip through your fingers. 

“What’s this talk about a ‘condition’ and ‘ability’, then?” You challenge. 

“Ah, I was wondering when you’d mention that,” he doesn’t sound like you landed on a reason that’d prove him wrong. “How to explain it… you once told me you think there are phenomena in this world that can’t be explained by empirical evidence. Consider this an example of that. I’m sure you must’ve felt it before you fainted. An intense, concentrated sensation that awoke your primordial fear. Bloodlust.” 

You want to argue until you run out of breath, but this description does strike a chord. Reality itself feels as if it’s drifting further and further away. In an awfully cruel twist, Chrollo and his collected disposition is the most grounding factor you have to latch onto. 

“I’m sure it’s a lot to take in,” he finally replaces that matter-of-fact tone with something resembling compassion, “But know this: you’re not in any danger. Neither are those you care about, so long as you act sensible.” 

Shivering, you hug your arms around your chest. “How can you say that to me so easily? I thought… I thought you…” 

He’s enveloping you from behind. You didn’t even see him move. Weakly, you struggle against his hold, but you’re not in any condition to put up a fight. In the event you were, it’s doubtful it’d make much of a difference. He’s strong. It goes beyond physical strength, into some esoteric realm you’ve become forcibly acquainted with. He’s exerting this slight pressure that makes your heart skip a beat, despite the medication. It isn’t comparable to what you experienced in the garden — there’s no malice — it feels more like a warning. 

“You’re surprisingly sensitive to Nen,” he murmurs, humming contentedly when you go limp against him. His chin rests atop your head and his arms ensnare your midriff. “How interesting. No matter. Whatever your fascinating brain concocted is still true. You may think me merciless, but if you knew me, you’d find this to be my greatest act of mercy yet.” 

“I thought I did know you,” is your weak reply. You don’t recognize the sound of your voice. 

“The parts of me I wanted to show you, yes,” he moves your hair aside so he can press a kiss to the nape of your neck. “And a few glimpses you gleaned in your own way. Really, you are such a sweet girl. Willing to overlook discrepancies to see the ‘good’ in me.” 

Heat rises and ignites on your cheeks. “I-I could scream, you know.” 

“You could.” 

That’s not the reaction you were expecting. 

“You’re… not going to try and stop me?” 

“No,” he responds. “I’ve always found experience to be the best teacher.” 

“You really,” you heave a humorless laugh, uncertain of what else to do, “You really don’t see anything wrong with this?” 

He nuzzles his nose into the crook of your neck, marveling at how your pulse remains steady, thanks to his intervention. 

“‘So long as I can say I helped one person, that’s good enough for me.’” 

“What?” 

“It’s what you said the first day I met you,” Chrollo explains, nostalgia evident. “I’ve thought about those words often. Your effulgence, your desire to do right by others. It made me wonder if there could ever be anyone more perfect for me than you. You, whose pretty neck I could snap before you’d ever realize what happened, stirred up a sentimentality in me I thought myself incapable of.” 

Sandalwood, amber, and leather. His scent is the same as that day.

Are his intentions? 

Is this a prophecy he himself ordained and always intended to see fulfilled? 

“You stole my heart, and as recompense, I will steal you. Think whatever you want about me, dear. Just don’t think I’m selfless enough to ever change my mind.” 

Ya know I never really sat back and thought about it cuz him using the troupe to help with her is an easy thing he could do.

But thinking about it now these mfs do have lives outside of the troupe and I don’t think he’d just call them up while they’re doing whatever causal or horrific shit they do on their downtime. Like that’s literally overtime, just to deal with a girl your boss likes that doesn’t even like him back that would piss me off after a while.

Ok, I have something to say. This may be controversial to some writers, but whatever.

I don't think Chrollo, Yandere or not, would ever get the troupe to watch after or steal something for his s/o. If his s/o was maybe in like a life or death situation, he would probably, but not much other than that. Chrollo loves his troupe very much. They're his family, friends, his people. The spider is his dream, and the members in it are so, so important to him. Chrollo and Yan! Chrollo alike wouldn't just boss around and abuse his powers as the Phantom Troupe leader. He only really commands them when it's troupe related, like for a mission. Other than that, they can do what they want, and he and the entire troupe knows this.

Now, even if he DID tell/ask them to, would they keep an eye on his s/o, or steal something for them? yes, they would. The troupe loves chrollo just as much as he loves them. But the thing is, from the very formation of the troupe, he was chosen to be the leader because they all knew he would be a good leader. And part of being a good leader is not abusing your power for your own personal life.

I feel like another exception I could see is if his s/o is friends with a troupe member.

I know, I love the idea of Yan! Chrollo constantly keeping tabs and an extra pair of eyes his s/o, but I don't think he'd get them to do it. First off, I think he'd like to keep his romantic life seperate from his work life until he has had his s/o for a little, then he'll introduce them. Secondly, I don't think he would want an extra pair of eyes on his darling. Because that's his territory.

Anyways, moral of the story, regular Chrollo and Yan!Chrollo wouldn't send the troupe to do tasks like spy on his s/o or steal something for them. You guys can think otherwise, but I won't. I will stand and die on this hill.

I already knew what he meant but honestly I would’ve still picked options two because one suggests he takes my ability AND I still gotta stay. At least option two I get dick🤷🏽‍♀️

Binding Vow

This is purely self-indulgent because I was consumed with the idea of Chrollo and specifically, Yandere!Chrollo. So here it goes. This is filthy and Chrollo is unhinged. Nothing new.

Read on AO3

I do not condone this behaviour in real life. This is purely fictional. Please read warnings and avoid if any of them are triggering to you.

Warnings: Yandere Chrollo, dom Chrollo, coercion, dub con (I mean it), psychological manipulation, kidnapping, captivity, possessiveness, obsession, fingering, oral sex (f!receiving), vaginal sex, creampie, praise, slight humiliation kink

Summary: Abducted because Chrollo could not steal your Nen ability, you are ready to give in and trade your power for your freedom. But the choices Chrollo decides to lay in front of you are wholly different. One would say, the illusion of choice. You make him swear a vow to let you go as you make your choice. But one should pay close attention to the words used in a binding vow...

Word count: 7k

One would think so many candles would be a fire hazard, to be frank. They were everywhere, on every wooden surface, on every shelf that wasn’t overcome with books of all sizes with leather spines, on the nightstands and even on the ground. It was as though the leader of the Phantom Troupe had an obsession with a certain type of aesthetic, and would not refrain from littering his surroundings with candles every time he found a new place where his gang could crash. Perhaps, he had a candle for every person he had ever killed.

Though you supposed one would lose count after a while.

If you were to ingratiate him, you knew what he would appreciate having as a gift; although who needed gifts when your profession was stealing whatever you wanted, whatever thing you had a passing whim for?

As far as you were aware, you were the last passing whim Chrollo Lucilfer had stolen. You had known of his power to steal abilities, and even though you had tried to escape when the Troupe had come to abduct you, it seemed he hadn’t been successful in stealing your power. Yet.

Your Nen power wasn’t meant to fight, really, so the possibility of forcing your way through the Troupe had been preposterous. Your ability was that of having regenerative power, to the point where you could heal fatal wounds to yourself and others. He obviously must have wanted it for himself, and you hadn’t exactly had any way of escaping his wishes.

After a month of captivity, though, you weren’t sure you could bear it for much longer. If all he wanted was your power, why not let him “borrow” it, as he so nonchalantly put it? So you could go back to your own life, so you didn’t have to be locked up in that house, so that he would let you go? Would he even let you go, if you gave him the ability? Or would he want to tie loose ends and get rid of you? You shuddered in the cold air of the bedroom you had been confined to in his absence. 

He had left you to your own devices that day for the entirety of the morning, whilst he had spent all his time with you previously. Studying you, asking you questions, letting you know between the lines that he knew who you were, who your loved ones were, where they lived. He had called you a “treasured guest” in the same sentence, with such audacity that you had been left stunned at the complete lack of morals that man had.

But then again, he also seemed to have some twisted attraction to you. They did say the forbidden fruit was always the sweetest, and because you knew of his power, he couldn’t get to your Nen ability if you did not reveal how it worked and fulfilled his conditions. In the last two weeks, he had taken to something you could only define as an attempt at seduction.

He would sit with you in the living room, inviting you to get closer to him, reassuring you he had no intentions of harming you. He would stare at you with those stormy eyes of his that seemed to burn through you like electricity, and his gaze would rake over your body like he was appraising some kind of rare, expensive object he planned to take for himself. Which he probably was.

Despite knowing who he was, despite knowing how sticky with blood his hands were, you were only a fallible human. And he was... a murderer, a manipulator, a thief; and he was also cunning, intuitive, soft-spoken, caring with you in a sick way, and the most handsome man you had ever met. Despite all of your efforts, it was not possible to deny the effect he had on you. And it was not possible to hide it from him. Observant as he was, obsessed as he was with watching your every reaction, every little twitch of your body, every time your breath faltered when he was too close, every time he commented casually how your pupils were widening, every time his long, willowy fingers grazed your skin, he could see all of it. And all of it was a twisted game of cat and mouse to him.

Another heist, another plot to strategise and accomplish. He was always composed, always neutral, if not for his sly looks, wily smirks and piercing eyes. He always seemed to have the upper hand. It did not matter that he did not have your power, he seemed to be a patient man.

Until that day.

You had assumed he was waiting for you to break by keeping you captive, although treated with enough civility and never physically harmed, because he had not mentioned wanting your Nen power since the one time he had told you he wished to borrow it. In your mind, he was simply determined to stir the pot and then leave you to stew in it for a while, knowing at some point, your desire for freedom would overcome your attachment to your ability. Letting you run your mind wild with suppositions and conjectures that led nowhere as you tried to analyse his reasons and predict his behaviour. And it was working. You were almost done with it. If he asked you to choose between your power and your freedom, you knew what you would pick.

When he came back from whatever the hell he’d been doing that morning, his appearance was pristine. He was wearing his hair down, no headband in sight, a white shirt with the first two buttons undone and smart black trousers. All in all, he was the picture of what you could only define as sex appeal and sophistication mixed together in a heady blur of sharp eyes, chiselled, angular features and a mellow voice that still managed to sting.

He unlocked your door using a Nen ability he’d probably also stolen and closed it behind him, smiling softly at you as he appraised you.

‘Hello, darling. I hope you did not feel too lonely without my company’ he said easily, conversationally. You disliked the pet names he had started to throw at you in the last two weeks. They made it seem like there was more to this relationship than a prisoner and their warden. More he wanted. But not your ability. No. You. And it made your stomach churn every time. 

You decided to ignore him, because what else could you do? You were locked in a room with him, with no escape, and you had been held captive for a month now. What could possibly make it worse than it already was?

But you were so very naïve. You should have paid heed to his shrewd grey eyes, to the way his lips twitched as though he delighted in knowing something you didn’t, in watching you rack your brains in trying to figure him out.

You had been so naïve in thinking that he had kidnapped you and held you captive to steal your ability. After all, he could torture it out of you. 

Did he just enjoy the game? What did he want? Was there another condition that needed you to be willing to share it with him? That must have been it. He needed you to give it to him willingly, that was why he was going after your mental sanity instead of torturing it out of you.

‘You seem quite tense. Sit with me. I have a proposition for you’ he said, gracefully stepping to your side, brushing his fingers on your lower back, sending shivers down your spine just as your nose caught a whiff of his expensive cologne. His scent was just as intoxicating as he was, something masculine yet refined, a blend that made your lower stomach hot. You fought to keep eye contact as he sat on the plush loveseat by the fireplace, tapping the empty space right next to him, his eyes boring into you with curious amusement. 

You grimaced, feeling weak and dizzy as you sat down on the armchair, the only other surface available to you aside from the bed and the loveseat, which was out of the question. Chrollo’s lips twitched in amusement, his eyes glinting with interest as he rested his cheek against his fist. 

‘I have a few choices for you. I assume you are quite unsatisfied with your current predicament, therefore, I am giving you the chance to escape all the doubt that must be swarming your mind by now’ he said calmly, that little smirk still on his lips. You did not give way to hope. You did not lower your guard. Thieves did not return goods. If they got rid of them, it was after getting something else in return. So what was he playing at? What was his angle?

‘Your distrust is quite strong, dearest. You should learn to hide your emotions more, if you plan to attempt to play me. Though I must admit the thought of it is quite thrilling. So feel free to try it. Your first choice is to give me your Nen ability in exchange for the end of this predicament. Your second choice is to give yourself to me now. I trust you understand the meaning behind my words. If that is your choice, you can start by getting up and walking over here’ he said, smoothly, easily, seductively, his eyes mischievous. 

You blinked, swallowing heavily, your lips parting. He… was making you choose between your Nen ability or having sex with him in exchange for your freedom? The choice was not really that. It was an illusion of it. Perhaps he merely sought to humiliate you, because of course, the reasonable choice would be to get it over and done with, have sex with him just that once and walk away with your life and your ability intact. Who in their right mind would pick the first choice? 

He was hot, charming, attractive. So long as you could separate the part of you that knew what he was, what he did, and the shame that came with prostituting yourself to your captor, it would not be that bad. It would be over quickly, you only had to focus on his physical attributes, shut out his horrid persona.

‘You want me to prostitute myself to you’ you said, your cheeks burning with humiliation. He let out a wilful sigh. 

‘That is an uncouth appraisal of it. It is quite clear from your reactions to me that you desire me, too. Is that prostitution? More of a mutual desire, I’d wager. Rather a small price to pay to retain your power, is it not?’ he asked, smiling sweetly, smugly. You ground your jaw, your whole face feeling hot, your eyes stinging with the embarrassment of your current predicament, as he loved to call your captivity.

‘Why would I want to... have sex with someone like you? A... murderer- a thief, a kidnapper?’ you spat, repulsed, sitting rigidly in the armchair, quite the opposite picture to his nonchalant lounging. He let out a soft laugh.

‘Oh, darling. Are you pretending to have steadfast morals now?’ he crooned, voice soft and mellow. Completely unbothered by your accusations.

‘What are you trying to imply?’ you chewed on the corner of your bottom lip, a movement he followed with a hint of ravenousness in his silvery eyes.

‘Your morals seem somewhat flexible to me. You have been eating food paid with stolen money for a month, sleeping in a stolen mansion, wearing stolen clothes. I trust you were clever enough to know this from the beginning of your sojourn here’ he said casually, seeming almost enthusiastic about debunking every argument you could bring to the table. It was as though he found pleasure in discrediting your beliefs and making you vacillate. Perhaps it stroked his ego.

 ‘I had no choice about sleeping here. Should I have starved? Should I have wandered around naked for a month?’ you snapped, regretting your words immediately when you saw him look at you so intensely. As though he was undressing you himself with his eyes.

‘Well, you certainly could have tried to starve yourself. I would have admired your efforts to cling to your pride and ethical dilemma, and you would not be in this moral conundrum now if you had. You would be able to blame me for it. As to your last point, that would have certainly been a sight. Again, the choice was there. I would not have stopped you’ he said slyly, his voice getting lower and more seductive, like a caress on your spine. You bristled.

‘Those are not choices. Like these aren’t’ you pressed, and he sighed, still smiling like nothing could make him waver.

‘Are they not? You have two paths before you. Every human being is offered choices. Now, be a darling and make one. What will you choose?’ he mused. You closed your eyes, your fingers curling on the fabric of your skirt.

‘You will not steal my power if I- give my body to you now. Right?’ you asked slowly, trying to find a loophole in his words.

‘I will not. If you choose to indulge me now, I will not steal your power’ he said. You gulped. You did not want him to lose his patience and take away your opportunity. You also wanted his word that you would be let out alive and unharmed.

‘And this- this predicament will be done once I do that too. You will not kill me- nor harm me after that. I will be allowed to leave this place alive’ you said cautiously, weighing your words. He smiled.

‘Of course. In order to ease your worries, why don’t I make a vow with you? A condition, if you will. And if I break it, I will die. If this is your choice, and you want reassurance before you continue with it, I will of course be willing to ease your worries. Stand up and come closer’ he said, and you tried not to show your relief. If he was promising, there was nothing to worry about. You could do this, keep your life and your well-being, leave with your power. It was not a bad deal. Not a bad deal at all. You should be happy that he seemed to be attracted to you. That he was even giving you a choice in the matter.

You slowly got up, and your legs felt weak as you stepped closer to him, feeling like his gaze was burning through you. You stopped in front of him, tense like a violin string as a grimoire appeared in his hand.

‘Sit on my lap, darling’ he murmured, and you found yourself feeling all kinds of things in your body, from nerve-wracking anxiety to butterflies in your stomach to warmth in your gut and weakness in your legs. You inched closer to him, gingerly sitting sideways on his lap.

You were immediately engulfed by his enthralling cologne, and his arm wrapped around you, fingers curling on your waist to keep you in place. You squirmed, gulping when he dipped his head to breathe against your neck, making goosebumps appear on your exposed skin.

‘Your scent is intoxicating, dearest’ he breathed, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear to expose the side of your face to him. You could not deny how seductive he could be, how tantalising his touch felt. But you would not be swayed from the promise he’d made.

‘The vow first’ you said somewhat nervously, and he smiled, nodding and keeping an arm around your torso as he picked up his book of stolen abilities and flicked through it, stopping in front of a binding vow.

‘Now, I vow that I will not make your Nen ability mine and steal it from you. It will remain yours. I vow I will not kill you, nor will I ask anyone else to do so for me. Should you respect the terms I have presented to you, you will leave this place unscathed within a day, with your power still in your hands. Should I fail to respect these terms, I will die on the spot. Do you accept?’ he said, and you tried to find any loophole that would allow him to kill you or steal your ability in his words, even though his fingers stroking your ribcage were distracting, but you could not find anything. You nodded.

‘I accept’ you said, and he picked up a small dagger from his pocket, shushing you when you gasped and tried to get away. He pricked his thumb, showing you the small droplet of blood that was forming on the surface of his skin.

‘I won’t hurt you. I just need a drop of your blood. Your hand, if you will, darling. Or the vow won’t work’ he said, and you gingerly let him lift one of your hands and prick your thumb. He pressed yours against his, and you could see the aura surrounding your fingers working. You relaxed a little when he threw the dagger away, supposedly letting it pierce the wood of the highest bookshelf so you could not reach it in an attempt to attack him.

He wiped your thumb and his with a handkerchief, tossing it on the table and letting the grimoire disappear.

‘I hope I was successful in easing your worries. Now, where were we?’ he murmured, round, pretty eyes heavy-lidded, lust-laden as they scanned your face. You felt as though you were in the lion’s den for the first time, or more fittingly, a small butterfly trapped in a spider web. Just waiting to be devoured.

He cupped your jaw, stroking your cheek with the pad of his thumb, leisurely taking his time in savouring you. Part of you wished he would just get it over and done with, another part of you, a shameful one, burnt at every action he took, at his stifling seduction. You might as well enjoy it and hope he was good at the very least, right? No one could blame you for it. Your survival was at stake, after all.

You stopped thinking altogether when his lips grazed your jaw, your cheek, the corner of your lips. He was slow and sensual in all of his movements, but there was something that slipped through the façade, something possessive about the way his fingers curled around your throat, trapping you in place as his lips pressed against yours.

They were soft. Soft and smooth, warm and demanding. You could not deny the pull they had. You were coaxed into seeking them out whenever he pulled away slightly, pressing them against you again, more and more passionately each time, almost manipulating you into wanting him to get rougher.

And he did. His teeth sank into the pliant flesh of your bottom lip, pulling lightly, and his tongue was quick to soothe the sting, taking advantage of your little gasp to slip in your mouth and lay siege on your tongue. It was all akin to a game of pull and push with him. He wheedled you into letting go more and more with each time he gave you something only to take it away and revel in how you sought it again. Just as he had presented the illusion of you wanting this from him, he was now making you act on it as though you had always desired nothing more.

Until your fingers were tangled in his soft raven hair, pulling lightly at it, and you were seeking his soft lips and their taste reminiscent of rich red wine to suck on his bottom lip languidly. Until his teeth nipping at your bottom lip had you mewl in his mouth.

‘Eager, are we? How sweet’ he breathed, and you felt the trap snap, the mechanism trapping you like a helpless doe caught by pincers. All of his teasing had led to this, to making you see that you wanted him, wanted this to happen. And as much as you could deny it, your actions spoke loudly, and your body’s reaction did too. The knowledge that you were already turned on and that if he decided to reach between your thighs he would see just how responsive you were to him made the mortification burn in your chest.

You had wanted to keep your dignity and show your distaste for what was happening, but he had managed to reduce you to a docile doll just by kissing your lips. And his sardonic smile and eyes told you that you were right in that assumption.

And before you could hope to collect yourself, his mouth was on your throat, hungry but still slow, leaving you wanting more. He licked a long stripe along your pulse, making it shoot up as his fingers curled around the roots of your hair and pulled, exposing your vulnerable neck to him. You could not restrain the whimper that escaped you as he kissed and started sucking a sensitive spot between your neck and your shoulder, sure to leave a mark to remind you of what you had done, of your flexible morals, as he’d called them.

His fingers clutched your side, wandered down to your hip and the swell of your ass, grazed your thigh and snaked under your skirt to grope at the plump flesh of your backside. You were too lost in the pleasure of his mouth and tongue on your throat to truly consider your situation and who it was that was touching you so possessively, so greedily. If anything, it only stoked the fire within you.

‘Good girl’ he crooned, sending a jolt to your clit with the dirty praise. You squirmed on his lap, eliciting a soft chuckle from him and a graze of his thumb over your stiff nipple. You were wearing a simple satin shirt with a flimsy bralette, and the friction of the material was torturous against your nipples.

Chrollo pulled the shirt out of your skirt, making quick work of the buttons with one hand whilst the other was still kneading your ass and his mouth was still on your throat. He slipped the garment off you, pulling away to observe you. You gulped, averting your eyes at the sight of his hungry stare, quivering as his fingers ghosted your sternum, your ribcage, the swell of your breasts.

‘You are so beautiful, darling’ he murmured, his lips softly pressing against your collarbone, his fingers deftly lowering the straps of your bralette and unhooking it. He tossed it aside, groaning softly as his hand cupped your breast, kneading it in his fingers, pinching your nipple and rolling it between thumb and index finger.

You tried to stifle a moan, to which he seemed to take offense, because he stopped and bit down hard on your shoulder, making you whine in the process.

‘I want to hear you. The more you stifle your voice, the longer I will tease you. Understood?’ he said, and you meekly nodded, only to speak up when he gave you a meaningful glance.

‘Yes’ you hissed, and he seemed pleased, because he hummed and made you arch your back so that his tongue could lick your stiff nipple and flick it. You were careful not to stifle the small whine that left your lips, and he rewarded you by sucking your nipple in his mouth, scraping it with his teeth and making you cling onto his shoulders.

He bunched up your skirt up to your waist, leaving you exposed as he trailed his fingers to your inner thighs, in a silent request to spread your legs. You were not wholly aware of how swiftly you complied, you only knew that when he first cupped you through your panties, your eyelids fluttered and a soft moan poured out of you.

‘You are soaked for me, pet. Your morals do not seem to extend to your body. Try as you might, you want this, and you cannot lie to me’ he purred, dragging his fingers and pressing against your clit, holding you still when you squirmed away from his touch. You let out a loud moan, your hips jerking. He pulled your panties to the side, rubbing your clit and dipping two fingers inside you, curling them, making your head drop on his shoulder as you moaned against his neck, enveloped by the scent of his cologne.

‘That’s it. That’s my good girl. If I knew how much you liked being fingered on my lap, I would have done this much sooner. No matter. I’ll make it up to you, darling’ he breathed, voice slightly strained as though he was holding back something much more primal from taking over, but you were too dazed to take much notice of all the filth he was spewing and how he sought to humiliate you further, because his touch admittedly felt like heaven. His willowy fingers inside you kept pressing against all the right places, and you could not help but clench around them, your hips twitching into his hand every time his palm rubbed against your sensitive clit.

You were lost in the motion of his fingers as you rutted against his hand, shamelessly chasing your own high as he continued to praise you and kiss you, rewarding every sound you made with a curl of his fingers that had you melting in his arms. Until you could not take it anymore.

‘Can’t- ‘m close’ you huffed out, breathing erratic, chest heaving as his fingers pumped inside you, and he hummed, licking your neck and sucking on it again.

‘Cum for me, pet’ he urged, and your eyes scrunched up, a lewd moan ripping through you as you tensed up on his thigh, sound fading away as you came undone.

You slumped on him, breathing heavily, your cunt throbbing around his fingers as he lazily fucked you through your aftershocks, your hair clinging to the back of your neck from the light sheen of sweat that had formed there.

‘Suck’ you heard, and dazed as you were, you obediently opened your mouth when he presented his fingers, sucking and licking the pads of his fingers, tasting yourself. You had to cling to him as he stood up and walked over to the bed, lowering you on it and observing you as he unbuttoned his shirt and pulled it off.

There was no denying it, he was attractive. Lean but toned, with graceful abs adorning his flat stomach, jutting collarbones and well-defined biceps; with the way the candlelight danced on his pale skin, making it glow with soft orange hues, he truly looked like he might be a fantasy of sorts.

You supposed he looked like a fallen angel, as his name suggested. Like the Alexandre Cabanel painting of the fallen angel, dangerous but so tempting. It was unfair that he should also be able to make you come undone so easily, when you had vowed to not give him the satisfaction.

He smirked at you, undoing his belt, slipping it through the hooks, catching you staring first at the clear dampness on his thigh, then at the evident bulge of his erection.

You supposed he would fuck you now. If you were being honest, you had thought he wouldn’t have taken such interest in your pleasure, but now, it seemed only fitting: it was all to aid his game, to stroke his ego in humiliating you by showing you how you could not abide by your morals, how you’d moaned and whined to be touched by those blood-stained hands.

Instead, he kept his trousers on, only going so far as to unbutton them to give himself more space. He seemed... quite gifted in that area too, you thought with a grimace. Was there anything that did not favour him? It seemed that fortune graced the wicked in that nonsensical world, because he had it all.

He caged you underneath him, his hair tickling your face as he drew you into a heated kiss, his hands roving down your body, fingertips digging into your hips, tongue pressing against yours.

He was quick to unzip your skirt and slide it off you along with your panties, leaving you completely exposed whilst he still retained his power by not undressing completely.

‘You were so precious squirming on my lap, so good for me. You deserve a reward’ he crooned against your ear in that soft, melodious voice of his, making you swallow heavily as you wondered what he might do to you now.

He did not leave you guessing for long. His mouth traced your collarbone, his head lowering as he licked your sternum and left a dark lovebite above your nipple, another reminder that would bring you back to this room, to what he was doing to you for the following week. He seemed intent on marking you whenever he could, and until he had littered your chest with purple brushstrokes, until you were but a moaning mess, he refused to move on, no matter how much you tried to squirm away and whimper at some of the harshest ones on your ribcage.

He continued to kiss down your stomach, massaging your thighs, cupping your ass and lowering his head to kiss your thighs. You were rendered breathless and unable to stop thrashing and moaning as he sucked another lovebite on your inner thigh, keeping you pinned down and at his mercy. You just wanted him to bury his head between your thighs, you were close, close to begging for it, were it not for your pride. Were it not for who he was.

Fortunately, you did not need to stoop that low. His tongue flattened and dragged up your cunt, tensing and flicking your clit from underneath as he got to the top, tearing a breathless moan from you.

‘You taste so sweet’ he huffed out against your skin, blowing cold air on your clit and making you whine and scoot away. He dragged you back, a wicked light in his stormy eyes as he glanced at you and licked your clit, rolling it on his tongue.

‘F-fuck’ you breathed, your hands shooting to his hair, pulling lightly, trying to ground yourself as he continued to toy with your clit, sucking it and licking it fervently. You could not hold yourself. If he was amazing with his fingers, he was incredible with his tongue. Judging by how he seemed to have a way with words, you should not have been surprised that he was so maddeningly good at pleasuring with his tongue. It was making you lose your mind.

Even if you had tried, you would not have been able to restrain the need to keen, whine and moan every time he sucked your clit, dipped his tongue inside you or drew figures around your clit.

He was insatiable as he flung your thighs on his shoulders, seemingly unbothered with the way you trapped his head and rutted against his face. In fact, he seemed thrilled to follow the movement of your hips, giving you more and more until you were babbling and keening incoherently, unable to even speak.

‘Fuck- Ch- Chrollo...’ you whined longingly, unable to realise your slip of moaning his name in the throes of pleasure. But he heard you loud and clear, because he groaned, and his name on your lips only seemed to spur him on. In a few seconds, he was sucking on your clit, giving you more pleasure than you’d ever thought was even possible, until the torturous knot in your stomach snapped and released and you came with a cry, tears prickling the corners of your eyes, your hair tousled and messy on the pillow, your muscles tensing, toes curling and fingers clawing at the sheets.

You kept your eyes closed for a while, easing into your breathing, feeling as though your body had completely melted, feeling as though you couldn’t even move.

‘You can still take my cock, can’t you, darling? After all, I have made you feel so good. It’s only fair. Do not worry, you will not mind. You seem to love being fucked by the one you spoke of with such revulsion. It’s quite endearing, watching you struggle with your morals’ he crooned, and you opened your eyes, watching him stroke his cock a few times. It was quite long and fairly thick, slightly tilted upwards.

You were too fucked out to consider his taunting, but you knew he was right. Both mindsets could not peacefully coexist in your mind: how could you be so willing and find so much pleasure in someone like him? How could you hate him and love what he was doing to you? It might have been an involuntary physical reaction, but you should have had more resolve, more restraint. Otherwise, what did that say about you?

Chrollo lined himself between your legs, rubbing his cock along your labia, on your clit, instantly making those thoughts fade in the haze of pleasure as you let out a soft sigh and automatically tried to hook your legs around his slender hips.

He gripped your thigh, pushing the tip of his cock inside you, easily slipping inside inch by inch with how shamefully wet you were, and yet, you already felt so full, like he was stretching you to the limit. You clawed at his back, raking your nails across his shoulder blades, gasping and whimpering along with his soft moan.

‘Fuck. So tight... so wet. Such a perfect little cunt’ he huffed out, his lips parting in pleasure, dark eyebrows furrowing. You tried to steady your breathing, tried to relax your muscles to accommodate his size, clung to his shoulders for support.

He wiped a tear from the corner of your eye, continuing to push inside you, albeit slowly, until he was buried to the hilt. You clenched around him, and the soft groan he let out made your stomach drop with a surge of pleasure. He bottomed out and slammed back in, tearing a broken moan from you as he set a ruthless pace, his eyes darkening with lust and the slip of his mask, hunger palpable in his every movement and the way he sought to fully claim you.

He lifted your legs higher up around his waist, his fingers tightening around your throat, not pressing on the front, leaving you room to breathe but making you even more dizzy than you already were.

His pelvis kept slapping against your clit, drawing out whines and pants from you, and with every thrust, he seemed to grow more accustomed to where you liked to be touched, because as soon as his cock pressed against your g-spot, your back arched and your head thrashed from side to side, a lewd moan echoing in the room as you clamped around him.

‘There, huh? Let me do it again, darling’ he breathed, one hand lifting both your legs and bending them at the knees, letting you rest them against his chest as he rammed into you, hitting the same spot again and again, relentlessly building the pressure inside you, making you see stars.

‘Mhh- too much... Chrollo’ you whined, trapped underneath him, feeling as though you might implode if he didn’t stop- or if he stopped, for what it was worth.

‘Moan my name again, pet. Let me hear how filthy it sounds on your lips’ he grunted, the sound of skin slapping against skin both enticing and dirty as he continued to fuck you into the mattress.

When you didn’t reply, suddenly aware of how you were moaning his name, reinforcing how you knew- wanted it to be him to fuck you at that moment, he let out a breathless laugh.

‘Looks as though you might need some convincing’ he said, slowing down and eventually slipping out of you, letting your legs down. You whimpered, desire clawing at your gut, your cunt clenching around nothing as you opened your bleary eyes and set them on him. He gave you a smirk, flipping you on your stomach and lifting your hips, spreading your knees with his and pushing on your lower back to make you arch into him. You lifted yourself on your elbows and heard his tongue click against his teeth condescendingly before he pushed your head against the mattress and smacked your ass with a resounding slap.

You yelped, biting down on your lower lip, mortification once again mingling with pleasure as he pushed his cock back inside you, letting out a soft groan.

‘Use your hands one more time and I will tie them up behind your back. It will feel better like this. For me- and for you’ he said, fisting your hair and gripping your hip, starting to pound into you from behind once again.

It did feel better like this. Deeper. Unbearable. He stimulated your clit with every thrust, the tip of his cock kept pressing against your cervix, and you did not know if you could bear it much longer.

You found the bridge of your nose damp with tears, and struggled to recognise your own voice in the filthy moans you were letting out. It was humiliating and it was impossibly pleasurable, and the mix was somewhat addicting, tainting. It was ruining every shred of sanity left in your brain.

Until he got what he wanted. Because it seemed as though he always did. He could steal anything, including his name from your lips said with such want and bliss that had you not been fucked stupid, you would have wanted to die.

‘Ahh- Chr- Chrollo! Fuck. Gonna cum’ you screamed, sobbing, clenching around him, getting even closer to a mind-shattering orgasm with every moan and groan he graced you with.

‘Good girl. My girl. Mine. You love this, mh? Tell me how much you love this. Tell me how badly you want to cum all over my cock’ he urged, voice possessive and low, and you could not stop yourself, could not do anything but acquiesce, because you needed- needed to cum.

‘Yes! Please. Please let me cum. Please. Need it so bad’ you whined, sobbed even, desperate for reprieve, hoping he would have mercy on you, hoping he would let you finish. His fingers reached under you to rub at your clit, and you could hardly contain a sob of wild pleasure and the jolt of your hips.

‘Since you asked so nicely. Go on, pet, cum for me’ he huffed out, still thrusting inside you at that unrelenting pace, and as though he had power over your own body, you felt the release hit you like a wave of overwhelming pleasure that made your vision white and your ears fill with static.

He was quick to cum with a breathy moan as you squeezed his cock through your orgasm, holding you tightly as he spilled inside you. He continued to push in and out slowly, until you stopped throbbing and squeezing around him.

‘Fuck’ he breathed, letting you collapse on the bed and doing the same next to you. You both stayed silent for a minute or two, catching your breath, feeling the cool air on your feverish skin.

‘Let me clean you up, darling’ he said, and you didn’t have the strength to object as he got up and walked away, the sound of his footsteps quiet as you kept your eyes closed until he came back with a glass of water and a wet towel, his trousers back on, but still shirtless. He wiped your inner thighs gently, with more care than you wanted to admit someone like him could be capable of, and carefully lifted you up so you could drink the water he’d brought you.

You took small gulps, finding it felt amazing trickling down your dry, raw throat after all that crying and screaming. He only put the glass on the nightstand when you had finished it all.

‘Thanks’ you said absent-mindedly, your mind slowly coming back to you in coherent thoughts as you attempted to cover yourself with the duvet. He gave you a languid smile, tucking your hair away from your face and lying next to you.

But it was finally over now. You could leave. Your deal had revealed itself to be better than you wanted to admit, but now, you were finally free. You could put this all behind you.

You tried to get up and gather your clothes, but your body felt like a ragdoll. He had really done a number on you.

‘Careful, dearest. You should wait a little’ he said, smiling at you, his eyes soft, his expression unreadable. You let out a shuddering breath.

‘Want to get... my clothes, and leave’ you said, getting up and hastily putting on your clothes, feeling a little dizzy. You walked back towards the bed, retrieving your underwear and your skirt, putting them on, almost falling were it not for his arms catching you and holding you still.

You felt weird. It had surely been intense, but so intense that your vision was slowly darkening around the edges and your arms and legs felt as heavy as lead?

He pulled you on his lap, and you protested weakly when he started to stroke your hair and kissed your forehead.

‘No- you said I would be free after this. Let me leave’ you slurred, and he shushed you, tenderly stroking your back in soothing gestures.

‘Oh, darling, I never said you would be free’ he said softly, still holding you. You blinked, confused, his face blurry as you stared at him.

‘You said- I’d be leaving this place- with my power... un...scathed within... a day. What d’you do to me?’ your words were garbled together, slurred like you were drunk. And you felt so heavy and tired.

‘I put a few sleeping pills in the water I gave you. Nothing that will harm you, so don’t worry your pretty little head. I don’t need to steal your power if I keep you. You will leave unscathed, but I never said you would leave alone. You should really pay more attention to the words of a vow, my love’ he said, stroking your hair, his soft voice lulling you into sleep despite how horrified you were in your mind. He had tricked you. Had no plans of freeing you. You hadn’t considered he might keep you. Hadn’t considered the depth of his obsession with you. Hadn’t considered there was more than one reason why he had kept you captive.

‘I cannot be parted from you, my love. Your place is by my side. Now close your eyes. Sleep. We have a long journey ahead of us’ he said gently, soothingly. And you could not help but do as he said, your eyelids growing heavier and heavier, your thoughts muddying and fading away along with your consciousness.

I would’ve hella risked that to even without the healing ability. Assuming of course I didn’t know the extent of Chrollo’s abilities, because if I did I’m not much of a “piss off a person who could torture the shit outta you” type of gal

But she was like if I die I die (that’s so real) and tried to dip out, Chrollo really did hit her with some emotional warfare tho

Binding Vow - Part II

Part I here

Read on AO3

This is part II of III :)

Warnings: kidnapping, manipulation, coercion, Stockholm Syndrome, captivity, Chrollo being a manipulative asshole, obsession, slight NSFW

Word count: 6k

The lilies in the vase by the windowsill were starting to wilt. Their petals were drooping, the stems getting darker, the vibrant white of the flowers starting to become ashen. In that way, you were like them. Wilting away in a prison you were forced to call home. 

But Chrollo never let you see them die. No, he brought you new flowers every week, along with all the other gifts he gave you. You did not know which ones were bought and which were stolen. Not that it mattered much. 

His pathetic romanticism fell on deaf ears. He could court you all he liked, but he failed to see in that brilliant brain of his that it would not work after kidnapping someone and holding them prisoners. A golden cage was still a prison, and he could not make the canary sing by locking it away, even if he used his silver tongue on it. 

Sometimes, you did not know whether he was completely oblivious or simply did not care. Every glare of yours, every time you ignored him, shouted at him or even refused to eat- he met all of your attempts at rebelling with a soft sigh and a stoic outlook, telling you he “would wait for your tantrum to quiet down to talk like adults”. Always patronising. He was always so damn condescending. 

Another month had passed since the day Chrollo had tricked you into having sex with him under the guise of letting you go free and then had drugged you and left that house with you. When you had woken up, you were in a new flat, which he told you would serve as a home for the both of you for a couple of months. 

He had reassured you that he would never harm you and that he would protect you, failing to understand you needed protection from him. He had also reminded you that the doors were all locked, and that he knew your life inside out in case you planned to do something foolish. 

The first night in this house, you had screamed your lungs out at him, fighting him, or rather, trying to hit him with all your might whilst he restrained you. In the end, he’d tied you to the bed and told you he would free you once you learnt to be civil. 

Next, you had refused to eat. That lasted until he tried to force feed you, and the humiliation of the act had made you start to eat by yourself again.

After that, you had refused to speak or even look at him. Luckily, he hadn’t tried to force himself on you, but he certainly seemed to want it. He had started to sleep in the same bed as you as soon as you had cut out the screaming and hitting, and no amount of begging had made him change his mind.

“I understand you dislike my approach, but I’m doing this to keep you safe, my love. If you can get past it, you’ll see it’s only natural that we sleep in the same bed. I love having you close to me. You are so peaceful when you sleep” he had said, stroking your upper arms as though the gesture could ever be perceived as soothing. 

You always made a point to fall asleep curled as far away from him as possible, yet, somehow, you always woke up with his arm wrapped around your waist. He was stifling.

Your best moments were the ones where he’d go away to do God knew what for a few hours, or when he would be so immersed in the book he was reading that he would not talk to you for a while. Of course, he would insist on having you sit on his lap as he read, but he had settled for letting you sit with him in the living room where you wanted, which was as far away as possible from him.

You hated to admit it, but when he left, you sometimes could not help but feel lonely. He was the only person you ever saw, the only one you talked to, the only one you could go to in order to find comfort. That fact alone was enough to make your stomach churn. 

But that was all stopping that day. You had decided that one way or another, you would escape. You were on the eighth floor of an apartment complex, but even Chrollo hadn’t been able to find a place that did not have windows. They were locked, of course, but you could break them if you used enough strength. It wasn’t your strong suit, but you had trained a little on your Hatsu to be able to do more damage than your muscles were capable of. And of course, you would get hurt, but it was all for a good cause. If you could make it out, then… then maybe he wouldn’t find you. If you were careful. 

That very day was your best bet. Chrollo had told you he would not be home for supper and had left you some food in the fridge. You packed it and filled several bottles of water, raiding the cupboards of chocolate, biscuits and fruit. You also found some gauze in the bathroom drawer, which you took with you in case you wouldn’t be able to use your Nen power straightaway. 

You had cursed your power for two whole months now, hating that you weren’t an Enhancer, that you weren’t strong or fast at all. Of course, Chrollo would still be stronger, but your chances at escaping would increase. But now, you were glad you had it: if you fell from a few stories, you would be able to heal yourself, so long as you did not die on impact.

Which was why you had gathered every single towel and sheet you could find and created a makeshift rope with tight knots. It was around ten metres, which left fifteen to twenty metres left to jump. You’d found that there was a tree underneath the window of the office, so that was where you decided to escape. 

The glass was thick, and you decided to wrap your hand in a section of your rope and punch it with all your strength. 

It took half an hour and the breaking of your knuckles, which had also split and gotten wounded, but you had managed to stay focused through the pain and heal them before you lost too much blood. 

Now, as to your escape. The window was now broken, and you did your best in creating a wide enough passage where glass would not be likely to cut you or the rope. Next, you looked down to see that no one was around. The apartment complex was situated on the side of a forest surrounding a small town, and the office happened to face the woods. You could not see anyone around.

You had around three hours to escape and get as far away from that place as possible before Chrollo came back. You had to move quickly, find out where you were and then find a way out of there. 

You breathed in, calming your thundering heart and swinging the rope out of the window after tying it to the sofa. It reached ten metres or so from the canopy of the tree beneath the window, which was not ideal, but not too bad either. You stepped on the windowsill, planted your feet and started descending. 

Ten minutes later, you had reached the end of your rope. You swallowed, the wind making your eyes sting and tear up as you looked down. Legs first. You had to either grab a branch with your hands or land on your legs. 

You jumped.

Your hand scraped against the bark, burning and shredding against it. The branch underneath you winded you as you landed on your side, but you managed to break the fall before you hit the ground.

You convulsed on the grass, nausea and cold shivers tearing through your body as you quivered, taking small breaths that had you dizzy from the pain.

Definitely broken ribs. Definitely a broken leg. 

Your trembling hand reached to your side, and you focused on your aura, feeling the pain, mending the bone, healing the damage until it felt like a dull throbbing rather than stabbing, burning agony.

Next was your leg. It took you longer than you wanted to consider to heal all of your injuries, but when you finally got up, you were okay. You could run, even though the numerous cuts on your body had made you lose quite a bit of blood and you felt lightheaded.

You started running. The feeling of hope that bloomed in your heart was quick to burst into euphoria, even though you tried not to lull yourself into false security. Running along the path in the forest felt good, freedom felt like cool breeze, autumn leaves and the faint scent of rain lingering on the ground.  

You must have run more than ten miles by the time you stopped as you got to the edge of the forest. The sun was setting on the horizon, and you wagered Chrollo would be back soon. You probably had another hour before he realised you were gone. Where could you go from here? The hills to your right looked too exposed, but so did the town to your left. He would expect you to be there. But with the amount of blood you’d lost, the fact that you’d been running for hours and the lack of shelter in the hills, you had to go to the town. Maybe you’d find a sheltered place where you could stay for a few hours, before you left again. 

But you never did get to the town. 

Because as soon as you got back on your feet and went to grab your bag, your wrists were caught behind your back in an iron grip. You knew that scent all too well. 

Your heart threatened to burst in your ribcage, and your chest heaved, your eyes widening as you writhed wildly to no avail.

‘If I were you, I would stop thrashing, darling. I am not in a gracious mood’ he murmured against your ear, voice cold, seeping into your bones like ice. You stopped moving altogether, swallowing the heavy lump in your throat.

‘Have you any idea of what that fall could have done to you? You’re covered in blood. Did you break anything in your brilliant escape?’ he continued, and you wet your lips, your temples throbbing. 

Would he kill you now? Would he simply take you back? Would he break some more bones to punish you? Tie you to the bed, or relocate you to a basement? 

‘Answer me. You do not want to make this any worse than it already is’ he said coldly, releasing you and staring at you. You knew trying to make a run for it would be useless. He would catch you in seconds. And who knew what he’d do to you. 

You were done. He’d found you immediately. There was no escaping him. 

‘My knuckles. My ribs- my leg’ you whispered, scanning his face for any clue on what might happen to you. His jaw tightened.

‘So you counted on your power to heal you, disregarding that had you broken your neck, you would not be able to heal. Not quite well-thought out’ he said, a tinge of cold fury in his voice. You ground your teeth, deciding you would go out swinging instead of listening to more of his patronising remarks. 

‘I did not have many options. I ran, because you kidnapped me. I was willing to take the risk’ you spat, and he lifted his chin, looking down at you, seemingly rigid in his posture. 

‘I must say that was a rather inventive plan. I think I might have read about a character doing the same thing in an adventure book once’ he mused, recomposing himself and disregarding your words completely.

‘You clearly cannot care for yourself, darling. Look what you've done to yourself. You are so very fragile. We have much to discuss. Of course, there will be consequences, but you should know I would never hurt you. I simply need you to listen. You can come with me now without a fuss or you can make the situation worse for yourself and risk more dire consequences for your behaviour. Your choice’ he said, looking at you, his eyes softening ever so slightly as you let out a strangled sob. 

Choice. Another choice that was already written in stone.

‘Just let me go. Let me free. Please’ you breathed, resorting to pleading in the face of defeat, hating the fact that you could feel the tears spill from your eyes. He let out a soft sigh, cupping your face and stroking your cheek. You did not know whether you wanted to spit in his face or let him comfort you for something he was guilty of. Because you were so alone, your heart was so wretchedly heavy.

‘Shh, shh. It’s alright, my love. You must be so exhausted. You need to rest. I’ve got you. I’ve got you’ he kissed your forehead, soothing your sobs, and perhaps it was desperation and exhaustion that made you cling to his shirt with trembling fingers. You let all of your tears of frustration, pain, hurt and anger out, sobbing in the arms of the one who had brought them to life. And he was so gentle as he held you. So painfully tender in the way he soothed you, stroking your hair, kissing the top of your head, holding you close to him.

Chrollo bent to pick you up in his arms, and you buried your head against him, not wanting to look at him and accept what you had just done and where he was taking you. What the consequences of your escape would be.

As the temperature started dropping, you found yourself seeking out the warmth of his body, feeling the exhaustion catch up to you quickly. You had finally stopped crying, but your head was pounding and your eyes were raw from the tears.

You saw a car at the edge of the forest, parked behind the building, in front of the tree and your makeshift rope. He opened the door and deposited you on the passenger seat, closing it behind you and getting in on the other side. He reached over and put on your seatbelt, locking the doors and staring at you.

‘Where are we going? What is going to happen to me?’ you asked, voice hoarse from all the crying. Chrollo slicked back the wayward strands of black hair that had escaped his hairstyle, regarding you with a cold expression, if not slightly laced with disappointment.

‘You saw fit to break the window of our flat. I called some people to take care of the mess there and get our stuff whilst I retrieved you. We are going to another place, this one is compromised now. As to you, my love... I do not know what punishment would fit this crime. Your sorrow and your tears have touched me, truly. But I must ensure you learn your lesson. You don’t want this to happen again, do you?’ he asked, turning the keys and starting to drive.

Did you want this to happen again? Of course not. His tone let you know that if you ever did this again, there would be Hell to pay. Who knew what he would do now, you shuddered to imagine what he might think to do if you tried to escape once again.

‘No’ you said quietly.

There was no escaping Chrollo Lucilfer. You had been stupid to think that you could have done so. Drunk on the idea of freedom. He might have said he would never harm you physically, but he hadn’t said anything of the sort about your loved ones. You had learnt that with him, the devil was in the details. He always twisted meanings and played with words like a musician would play an instrument. And there was no escaping his judgement.

Chrollo was not having a nice day. He had had to pull back a heist when Shal had informed him the museum had been tipped off, and had thought he would just get to go home and spend some needed time with his darling girl. He had seriously thought you had made vast progress in your interactions with him. In a mere month, he had managed to mellow you a lot, and even though it had irked him to put up with your foolish tantrums, he had done so patiently, knowing being less strict would eventually aid him in making you come around. You had started to talk to him again, even seemed content to sit with him in the living room to read.

He wasn’t too pleased you never took him up on the offer to sit on his lap, and sometimes, he wanted to pull you against him and hold you there, but he was a patient man, and he understood the perks of patience and strategy.

That was why he had been willing to compromise on not taking everything he wanted yet. He had put boundaries on what was non-negotiable, like sleeping in the same bed. After all, you were his. He had claimed you, given you food, shelter and protection, brought you all kinds of beautiful gifts that reminded him of you, made you feel good. He knew you liked the sex, too. You could not deny it, he remembered all too well how very precious you had looked writhing underneath him, begging and whining for him.

Nevertheless, he was waiting to do it again, simply because you were under the impression you had been tricked by him with the vow you had made, and that had upset you. Understandably so, but the fact that you hadn’t paid enough attention to his words was hardly his fault. However, if he was respectful of your body and did not force himself on you, he knew you would eventually seek him out. He could already see the slivers of your resolve shattering, and it pleased him to no end. The way you now let him kiss the top of your head, flinching less often when he drew you in for a hug or stroked your cheek. It was a chess game, and Chrollo knew he would win.

But now, you’d broken his trust. You’d disappointed him.

When he had come back home, looking for you, thinking you might be asleep or ignoring him as he called your name, and had eventually seen the window shattered and a makeshift rope made of sheets and towels, he had seen red. There was blood spatter on the glass, and the thought of you going so far as to harm yourself in order to escape him had made his stomach hot with rage and his chest tight with worry.

He had inspected the grounds underneath the tree he surmised you had used to break your fall, and he could see some blood, not enough to make you die of blood loss. Some drips had seeped into the blades of grass that led to the woods. Torn between cold fury, worry and admiration for your commendable resolve, for a moment, he had also thought you were truly so delightful. It was so sweet of you to believe you could escape.

He also knew you must have used your power to heal yourself, because he expected you to have broken at least a few bones. Therefore, you must have been lightheaded and weak. A fragile thing like you, alone in the woods, where anyone could easily harm you. He had been worried sick, ready to burn the forest to ashes.

It had taken him twenty minutes to scour the whole forest. When he had found you, you had been panting, holding onto a tree as your gaze shifted between the hills and the small town as though you were considering your course of action. So fragile, so impossibly delicate and fatigued, so oblivious to your surroundings. He hated how you put yourself in danger. Hated that you thought it would be better than being by his side.

Of course, Chrollo knew it was human nature to seek freedom, so he could not fault you for trying. But he was not pleased. You had put yourself in danger and broken his trust.

He had been ready to make you learn your lesson by confining you to a windowless bedroom, never taking his eyes off you, even pay a visit to one of your friends. However, the moment you had started to sob and clung to him, accepting his embrace, seeking him in your sorrow, he had been truly moved. You were truly so sweet in his eyes, so vulnerable, he just wished to hold you and never let you go.

Now, he was not sure what the best course of action would be. Should he be understanding, threaten what would happen if there was another attempt, and bask in your need to be comforted by him? If he happened to be too strict with you, it might halt the progress you’d just made. But if he offered himself as the only one who could soothe your worries and comfort you, then, perhaps, you would become more dependent on him. He wanted nothing more.

But things would have to move more swiftly, because his patience was starting to run out. If he was honest, as he had you back in his car, looking so meek with your tear-stained eyes and torn clothes, he had only wanted to move you to the back of the car and show you just how much he needed you. Just how much you truly liked him. Then, maybe, you would regret your actions. But he had to hold back.

He had nothing but time with you. And your attitude and outlook on your living situation was the most important thing right now. He had to change your perspective, or his work the past month would be ruined just because he had lost his temper after you made a mistake. You could still make things better.

‘Chrollo’ you murmured, wringing your hands in your lap. You rarely called him by his name. You rarely talked to him without him starting the conversation. He loved the way his name sounded on your lips.

‘Mh?’

‘What’s going to happen to me?’ you repeated, small voice haunted. He placed his hand on your thigh, stroking your skin gently as he drove through the empty street.

‘You did something quite upsetting, dearest. You know I would have never forgiven myself if something happened to you. I cannot let anyone, including you, harm you. I cannot trust you now; you understand that, don’t you?’ he asked, voice smooth. A part of him wanted to ask you what you thought a fitting punishment would be. But he did not do well with not knowing what you would say.

‘I won’t try to run again- just... please don’t hurt the people I care about. Please. I’ll do anything’ you said desperately, and Chrollo forced himself to restrain the urge to smile. Now, that was a pleasant development. He could utilise this. Could reap the benefits of your dedication.

‘My love, it pains me that you think me a monster. There would be no reason to visit your past acquaintances if this is a one-time mistake. But how can I trust your word? How can I be certain you will not try to run from me again? That you’ll be my good girl?’ he asked gently, keeping his voice as soft and calm as he could.

Human imagination was truly intriguing. How you had come to that conclusion in your mind, already deeming it a reality, and sought to find a way out of it by offering everything you had. It was truly endearing, and Chrollo had barely had to do anything. And now, if he spared your acquaintances, he would be seen as merciful. You would be grateful. Even though he hadn’t planned to kill them as of yet, deeming it counterproductive for your opinion of him. But if he utilised your fears against you, he could appear as a compassionate source of comfort to you.

‘Because... I know it’s useless. And I don’t want to be the reason they might... get hurt’ you said earnestly, your bottom lip quivering. It made you look so sweet in his eyes. So innocent and pure. Completely different from him, someone so fascinating he could never take his eyes off you.

‘I- will behave. I’ll do- whatever you want’ you whispered, almost resignedly, your shoulders sloping. Chrollo let out a soft sigh. You had no idea of the effect you had on him when you said things like that. It was all he ever wanted. And soon, he knew you would say the same words with care and tenderness in your voice.

  He parked the car in front of the skyscraper, opening the door and stepping out, and a middle-aged woman approached him, holding a pair of keys. Chrollo took them from her, spotting Shal’s antenna sticking out of her neck when she turned to head towards the glass doors. Chrollo went back to the car, opening the door and giving you his hand. You looked at him, closing your eyes briefly before you accepted his help and stood up on unsteady legs. He took his coat off, wrapping it around you. It would not do to have you walk in the lobby with your shirt and legs covered in blood.

It was long and baggy on you, and covered your whole body. He thought you looked quite sweet in it. He made sure to lead you to the door with a hand on your lower back, not trusting your balance after the injuries you had sustained and the clear exhaustion he could observe in your sluggish movements.

This time, Chrollo had asked Pakunoda and Shal to find him a place as high up as possible, so you could still watch the sky and not get any stupid ideas. The woman led you and him to a lift and pressed the button for the fiftieth floor, the penthouse. He liked to show off with a better flat, a more luxurious one, but had it been up to him, he would not have cared much, so long as it was comfortable and had everything he might need.

The woman stayed in the lift as he led you outside, to the door of your new home. He opened it, stepping inside and conjuring Bandit’s Secret to lock the door with Nen that only he could unlock. He put the keys on the bowl on the accent table by the door, because they were as useful as a pen to you if you planned to use them to open the door.

The penthouse was spacious but decorated in a way he did not mind. Cosy and warm, with a big fireplace, a loveseat and two armchairs in front of it, bookshelves filled with books on the opposite wall. His friends had truly found him a good place to crash. The dining room and the kitchen were connected to the living room by a wall with open arches, and one side of the dining room was a full window that offered a nice view of the city. He decided to look for anything that might be amiss before you moved from the hallway, and walked through the corridor, opening the door to the bedroom and the bathroom. It must definitely be more expensive than his previous lodging, but he hardly cared or worried about that in his life.

His clothes and yours had been carried here in two suitcases, and Chrollo decided he would give you space to have a bath or a shower whilst he tidied things up. With that in mind, he stepped back into the living room, observing you as you put his coat on the armchair.

‘Why don’t you take a warm shower, darling? It will relax your muscles. I’ll be here if you need anything’ he said, and you looked down at your torn clothes, your eyes wandering around the room.

He quickly went back to the bedroom, opened the suitcases and grabbed one of his shirts and clean underwear. You could go without trousers. If he were honest, he wanted you to go without any of those cumbersome clothes covering your stunning body, but he doubted you would react nicely to it if he suggested that. He was willing to compromise.

Besides, the thought of you wearing one of his shirts was somehow even better than going without it. Something about having something that was his on you. Proof of the fact that you were his.

He stepped outside, handing you the clothes and planting a kiss on your forehead.

‘Uhm- I need... trousers’ you murmured, your face growing hot against his fingers. He smirked, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

‘Do you, darling? The shirt will cover enough of you up. I’ll be in the living room. Come over when you are finished’ he said, leaving you blushing in front of the bathroom and going to the bedroom, starting to sort through the clothes and objects in the suitcase.

When you came back, he had finished tidying up and was sitting down on the sofa with a book in his hand, the fireplace now crackling with orange flames and a glass of red wine on the coffee table.  

He had been right, you did look ravishing. With the smears of blood and dirt gone, his shirt on you, covering you to your upper thighs, leaving your legs exposed, he could hardly restrain himself. But tonight was not the right time to have you. No, he just wanted to hold you and see you. And perhaps taunt you a little as punishment for running away. Yes, he would definitely have you fulfil your promise to do anything he liked starting that very night.

He patted his thigh, and watched with sly amusement as you swallowed, clearly trying to find a loophole that would allow you to sit anywhere else. He enjoyed watching you rack your brains, knowing you might incur more dire consequences after you refused him the day you had attempted to escape.

It took you a minute, but eventually, you took small, hesitant steps towards him until you were firmly sat on his lap, his arm around you holding you to him. He loved your scent, loved the feel of your body against his, loved the sight of your pretty thighs. If he had been any other man, he would not have been able to exert control on his desires. But he would, because if he waited, the reward would be much sweeter. Besides, you seemed to think he would do something, and watching you squirm was delightful in it of itself.

He resumed reading the psychological thriller he’d picked up, stroking your ribs, knowing you’d mended them mere hours before. Your power was truly incredible. A power that sought to heal, remedy, one so in tune with your pure, kind soul. He found it so very fitting, so sweet. And so useful.

He could feel you shifting on his lap from time to time, and could not decide whether he wanted you to continue or to stop because it was so enticing. He decided he might do something, even if he would not take you to bed yet. After all, he had you there, glued to his body. It would be a sin to discard such a sweet chance.

He lowered his book, holding you more tightly, tilting your chin with his fingers.

‘Kiss me’ he murmured, watching you to see if you would hold to your word. He saw your pretty eyes widen, your lips parted as you scanned his face and shifted on him. Your teeth caught your bottom lip, pulling lightly on it, and he could not wait to do that himself and feel just how soft your lips were.

He had held back on kissing your lips as well, and he still remembered how worked up he had managed to get you just with that. He had a nice plan in the making, but he wanted you to kiss him first. Set it into motion.

You hesitantly craned your neck to press your soft lips on his cheek, and he let out a soft laugh, cupping your jaw.

‘Do not play coy with me, darling. You know perfectly well what I mean. Now, shall we try that again?’ he crooned, and he could see the acquiescence on your face set, compliance in the face of what you had said in the car as you leaned back towards him, closing your eyes and pressing your lips to his. This time, you did not have to be told to do it again. You knew what he wanted from you, and you acquiesced, tilting your head and touching his hair gingerly, your lips brushing against his, soft and timid. Chrollo restrained the urge to take the lead and show you exactly what he craved, because he wanted you to get there yourself.

At first, you kissed him slowly, tentatively, but then, the tip of your tongue traced the outline of his bottom lip, and you sucked it gently. Chrollo’s fingers curled around your scalp, tangling in your hair as he sank his teeth in your bottom lip, taking advantage of it to slide his tongue in your mouth. He had waited way too long to do this, but God, it was worth it.

You were addicting. He sucked and licked your lower lip, pressing his tongue against yours, tasting you, savouring the feeling of your restraint fading whenever he kissed you more passionately. A few times, he could have sworn you sought out his lips, hungry for more, battling your own desires but unable to deny them to the fullest. And it felt like a damn drug to him. He could force himself on you, but nothing could ever replace the feeling of watching you melt in his arms, so willing and pliant by the time you warmed up to his touch.

Your fingers were tangled in his hair, and his hand wandered down to cup your ass, fingers gripping the plump flesh of it, his cock already hard in his trousers. Judging by the way you were squirming and pressing your thighs together, he knew you would be wet if he touched you. And the thought alone was tantalising. He wanted to devour you, wanted you underneath him again, pretty and completely at his mercy. But he steered clear, deciding to just stroke your thighs, massage them, feel the goosebumps there as he continued to kiss you.

When his fingers inched closer to your inner thigh and you spread them for him a little, he knew he’d won. He smirked against your lips, sucking your swollen bottom lip one last time before he pulled back, looking at your flushed skin, bright eyes and tormented lips. You looked so tantalising, so compliant.

‘Have you any idea what you do to me?’ he whispered, his hand resting on your hip now. He let you simmer in that feeling, knowing that he would not have to wait much longer, he would have you soon.

He went back to his book, smirking slightly whenever you would squirm in his grasp. Oh, you must be so wound up. He wished he could help you. But this was all in favour of something better. To make you truly desperate, just as he was to get his hands on you. To have you all the time.

It did not take you long to start growing more sluggish, and before he knew it, he had finished the book and you were asleep, your head against his jaw, peaceful in your slumber. You were such a heavy sleeper, but he was also aware that you had exhausted yourself with that foolish stunt you’d pulled. He kissed your hair, setting the book down and lifting himself up, carrying you to bed. When he looked at you as you twisted in the sheets and his shirt lifted up to reveal the panties he’d picked out, he let out an audible groan.

Just a little longer, he thought. For now, he headed to the bathroom, seeking to relieve your effect on him.

You were disgusted with yourself. Disgusted with your weakness, disgusted with the effect he had on you. Yes, you’d said you’d do anything if he spared your loved ones, and you had been dreading him trying to fuck you. Having to go through it again. You had not expected him not to.

A week had passed, a week of torture. You had given up altogether on running away, especially because the door was impossible to open and jumping out the window wasn’t a viable option anymore. He had been more lenient than you’d ever imagined he could be, and hadn’t even tried to fuck you. He had merely demanded you sit on his lap and kiss him. And he had done so every day for the past week.

And every night for the past week, you’d been plagued with dreams about him having his way with you. You were horrified whenever you woke up drenched, pressure in your lower stomach, the unbearable desire to feel his touch rearing its ugly head again. Reminding yourself of who he was had become increasingly difficult, when all you could think about was how good he felt, how much his touch sparked heat in your body. And he knew it too, the clever bastard. You could see it in his sly grey eyes, in the sardonic smirk he would give you once he pulled away.

You were lonely, and you were tired. Tired of the struggle, tired of the anxiety, tired of weighing your every word, of pushing him away, of walking on eggshells all day long. It would be so easy to give in. The only thing that held you back was giving him the satisfaction. But then again, you’d already done that the time you’d slept with him. What was the point? Wouldn’t you live a much easier life if you gave in? If you stopped fighting and just let him encroach himself in your life? It had already happened, and your stubbornness and pride were only making your life harder.

You wanted to scream. You wanted to cry. You were weak and twisted for considering liking someone like him. Someone who had kidnapped you, a murderer with no morals, a man who had no problems threatening your loved ones and keeping you captive.

But what choice did you have? What was there in the future for you? More struggle, more bile in your throat, more tightness in your chest, more pain and suffering? Or just acceptance?

He could be considerate, when you did what he wanted. And he could be your worst nightmare if he wanted to.

You couldn’t defeat him, couldn’t escape, couldn’t convince him to let you go. Your choices were to either live a miserable life of suffering, or to give in and experience something bordering safety. Something that might resemble a life one day. All in exchange for giving in to the one who had ruined your life. Somehow, the choice made itself in your mind.

This is the most down bad I have ever read Chrollo being and i am absolutely all for it.

Like normally he’s portrayed as suave and damn near flawless. But seeing him as a closet pervert from his point of view but had me like⬇️

Reservations and Repose

(Yan!Chrollo x Fem Reader)

@sukunasfavoritehole hopefully this is enough to tide you over until my ao3 finally gets an update hehe

Word count: ~7.3k

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You’re naïve enough to believe Chrollo’s asleep. He loves that about you.

Warnings: NOT SFW, non -con thigh fucking, somnophilia, drugging, imagined not sfw scenarios etc

a/n: SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG IT WAS 3/4 FINISHED THEN I FORGOT ABOUT IT my sincerest apologies.

Also this is my first time writing smut so please go easy on me 😥

Chrollo is very disappointed in you.

You let him kiss your cheek this morning following a deep sleep. You didn’t reciprocate, though he continues to see your progress and knows that an ever-hopeful yet can be added to the end of that statement. To some extent, the allowance of such an act could be chalked up to his acceptance of you, flaws and all, willing to appreciate the neutrality of it as opposed to ardent rejection. In a matter of weeks, you’ll be returning the gesture. And in a matter of months, you’ll be doing it gladly. Warmth, or perhaps weariness, has slowly but surely seeped its way into your actions recently, your shaky hands finding a place in his, fingers interlaced.

Is that to say he was under the impression that you’d completely given yourself to him? Absolutely not. There’s fear in your smiles, as much as they may have metamorphosed from obviously and mockingly forced to meek and endearing. Chrollo has shown you all that you know he can do. This has been enough to keep you relatively restrained over the months. If he showed you all that he knows he can do, you’d most likely curl up into a ball and sob until you dried out. That’s not necessary, though. It’ll never be.

Like many things, it wasn’t linear. It was a path that went upwards and downwards and forwards and backwards and in cycles, cycles that would always leave you curled up, sobbing in his arms, grasping onto him for whatever comfort it would give. But progress is progress, right?

Ignorantly, he began to believe the crumbs of affection, of acceptance, of acquiescence. Stupidly, he thought you were making progress. It’s been a significant amount of time since he was last this naïve. If he wasn’t so disgruntled by your transgression, he’d most likely bask in the nostalgic feeling. But he can’t, for the time being, because you’re trying to do something very rash.

As unfortunate as it is, you’re trying to leave him.

It’s audacious, having thought that the monumental power difference between you two had been thoroughly demonstrated on multiple occasions, a well established and silently acknowledged fact of your travels with him.

It’s irritating, although regarded with the same irritation as one would have with a pet goldfish trying to jump out of its tank. You silly thing, why do you want to abandon the place in which you are safe?

It doesn’t particularly make sense, though. He’s checked his cards - nothing suspicious has been bought in his name. No travel tickets or prepaid car hire. He’s even checked the jewellery collection - maybe you’d snatched up a nice necklace or bracelet or pair of diamond earrings to pawn off. But again, nothing. No suspicious bags have been packed. No loose tiles or floorboards or ceiling panels to hide supplies in. Your clothes are all neatly folded and hung in your wardrobe. 

You’ve got something up your sleeve- something desperate and jittery and not fully thought out. Something that relies on luck and prayers far more than precision and blow-by-blow planning. He never particularly took you for a daredevil, but to see you get pushed to such a limit, to be forced against your own timid nature, is beyond satisfying. If he could pluck it out of you and analyse it under a microscope, he’d be elated. Or perhaps even, he supposes to himself, he’d be so fulfilled that he might abandon the current pathway of his life, aimless and bloody and cyclical, finally so consumed with his obsession over you that nothing else is valued in the slightest. 

He can’t say he didn’t expect an ulterior motive for your apparent benevolence, at least initially, but for it to be kept up for this long? The stares felt almost too natural. The gradual lessening of your flinches when he placed a hand on your shoulder, the way your gaze would be drawn to him rather than away, even if only to flick away immediately - the subtleties were downright impressive. To be able to track everything simultaneously, to be able to remember to exhibit so many behaviours at once…Perhaps he should be taking acting lessons from you.

Chrollo had watched you, humming a pop tune this morning, cheekily shaking your hips from side to side as you fried some eggs, over easy, the notes sometimes interrupted with a sharp inhale between your teeth when the oil spat just a bit too high and would burn you ever-so-slightly. A domestic sight.

You’d let him give you another kiss on the cheek before he shrugged his coat on, giving you one last lingering glance before he’d walked out the door and into the hallway of the apartment, locking it with warm Nen made of comfort rather than capture. He gave you another cheek kiss (despite his ever-growing urge to dip lower) when he got home to the smell of spices and vegetables and the bubbling sound of a low simmer. You don’t fight them anymore, and barely even recoil now, a result of steady but slight crossing of boundaries - his record was eleven times in one day (at least, his record for when you were conscious) when he was feeling particularly affectionate, although you’d definitely soured up by the end.

The…fantasies he’d had of domesticity…they were just that, weren’t they? Fantasies, mere ideas that were appealing enough to fully flesh out in his mind. Whatever actions you’ve taken, whether it be pecks to the cheek or folding his shirts, staining them with the scent of you, they’ve all been a means to an end. That certainly wasn’t part of the fantasy. 

You’ve been buttering him up like the thick slices of white bread next to his bowl. What a betrayal.

Tonight’s stew is spicy and chunky, served courteously by you. His palate is experienced from an adulthood of travel, wealth, and nights spent with gullible women who couldn’t tell the difference between a Prince Charming and a swindler. Truly, there is little he hasn’t at least tried. Including this.

So, if there’s no other signs of you wanting to leave the comfort of the apartment and the familiarity of his presence, then what could’ve possibly cued him into your motives?

It’s something tenuous, something that could’ve gone unnoticed to anyone else. It’s something subtle, buried under layers of rosemary and thyme and paprika. But diphenhydramine is such an acquired taste. And it’s one that’s made the past few weeks and months crumble to dust.

Oh, you sweet thing.

Acting as oblivious as ever, he spoons chunks of zucchini and carrot onto the bread, taking large bites, chewing and swallowing with purpose, the taste of the sedative lingering. He considers smacking his lips for good measure, to play around with you a bit, but eventually decides against it. That’ll come later.

You sit across from him, silence between you two. Normally, he’d fill it with tales from his busy day - but you’ve been so good lately, that he’s begun to refrain from doing that. Nowadays, he asks you what you’ve been up to, every painstaking detail from your dull days without him. But that’s only if you’ve been good, or at least if he’s under the impression that you’ve been good. As it turns out, you haven’t been good, you aren’t being compliant, and now he simply waits.

You stare into your bowl of stew, but he can tell you’re watching him in your periphery. It’s so very fascinating, the way you absorb each mouthful he takes, washed down with frequent sips of water (there’s no other substances in that, obviously). He takes another swill of the liquid, tilting his head slightly back, and in the corner of his eye, he can see the way you observe his Adam's apple bobbing with each gulp. Does it appease you, the sight? Does it intrigue you? Does it make you, even for a moment, reconsider what you’re about to do?

Chrollo pauses for a moment, before placing the half-empty glass back onto its coaster. He knows the smirk that comes onto his face is nothing short of wicked, but he truly can’t help himself. 

“Are you not hungry, my love? You’ve barely touched your food.”

Barely is an understatement. You haven’t touched it at all, in fact. Stupid, really. He knows that you know that he’s observant - but that information is irrelevant in this situation, considering it doesn’t take an keen eye to figure out your pattern of stirring your spoon around, picking up some carrot - even blowing on it for good measure - and nodding along with what few words he spoke initially, before giving an mhm! of agreement and letting it drop back into the bowl. You spend extensive amounts of time apparently fishing for just the right piece of zucchini, sorting through copious amounts of lentils (and seemingly taking the time to individually count them all), dragging chunks up the side of your bowl only to push them back down into the fray of assorted vegetables.

There’s almost a sort of jump in response to the words, ringing clear and well projected. But it’s contained above the shoulders - your head snaps to look at him, your eyes widening momentarily, staring into his own, trapped.

He can feel the shaky breath you take to steady yourself from over here, air stagnant and mouth dry.

“No,” you reply, “not particularly.”

He cocks an eyebrow at that, mouthing an oh before returning to his meal. It doesn’t matter whether you take the bait or not, his suspicions have long since been confirmed. Confirmed, in the sternest sense of the word, syllables enunciated with force, the knowledge of your true intentions well recognised. Whether that displays on his face or within his interactions with you is inconsequential to the known ending of your silly stunt.

The sound of you chewing is enough to bring his attention back out of the bowl. That’s not fake.

So you’re eating it too? It’s certainly a bold move, but one he wouldn’t dare put past you anymore. You were always a clever one, one to be placed a mere few tiers below his own intellect.

He hasn’t caught you swapping the bowl out for a fresh one. Maybe you’ve mastered the art so quickly that even he can’t notice?

No, not likely. Not in just a few months. That’d be impossible.

Your bites of pumpkin are preceded with the slightest hesitation, a quick breath to presumably psych yourself up to the self-sabotage. He hates to see you so scared when you’re properly sharing a meal with him like this, deciding to return to normalcy as a reward for your cooperation.

“Tell me, darling, what did you get up to today?”

Your eyes flick to his, momentarily ensnared in the grey, before looking up at the ceiling to aid in the process of giving a verbal description of what you read, how you cleaned, how you entertained yourself with rearranging your meagre book collection (not his, that would be asking for trouble). The response is practically identical to every other time he’s asked the question, plain and unindulgent. It’s boring, he thinks, even with the unacknowledged omission of the hours you spend staring at the walls and pacing around the living area. He’s tempted to pry into how you decided on tonight’s dish, but decides against it. Not for lenience or mercy, but rather amusement. To give away what he knows now would simply be a waste of a situation you’ll never attempt to put yourself in again.

If you knew what Chrollo knew, would you still bother to indulge him?

You stare at him for a moment, allowing him to draw things out, before nodding at the I see he gives in response. He gives a forward nod to your bowl, giving you gracious permission to eat again after starving you for the length of your interrogation, merciful as ever. Your fear is better contained behind a split second’s confusion before you register the nonverbal instruction, picking up your spoon once more and eating with more confidence this time, taking exaggerated bites of zucchini that barely make it past your teeth, chewed excessively into grey paste before being swallowed. Maybe you reason that if you chew enough, you can break the drug down into something that won’t knock you out. A cute thought.

The spices stain your lips an enticing red, the chilli making them plump up so deliciously. If he kissed them, would they burn him? Would the capsaicin leave his lips tingling, a reminder of your soft touch?

He likes to think he’ll know the answer soon.

Chrollo feigns sleepiness, furrowing his brows in mock confusion as he tells you that he can’t quite keep his eyes open - perhaps he overdid it at work today. 

Yes, work, as he loves to call it, like there’s the possibility of him spending his time away from you at a desk, punching in numbers on a computer, monotonous and repetitive and damn, couldn’t things just switch up for a day? Work, as in a beer-bellied husband whose idea of experimental fashion is changing which tie he wears with the same white button-up and black dress pants each day. Work, as in an assembly line employee who wakes up at three o’clock to be at the factory by four, ready and willing to make whatever sacrifices necessary to support his loved ones. Work, as in something at least vaguely respectable.

Work, as in literally anything other than stealing and slaughtering and scourging.

Chrollo relishes in the way your shoulders relax a little. It’s almost too adorable. Chrollo also relishes in the way they tense up again when he adds how it’s suspicious really. I don’t believe I’ve ever felt a tiredness such as this.

There’s an underlying anxiety in your pretty, pluckable, ever-so-slightly bloodshot eyes. Where others would be concerned for your health, he finds endearment, you precious thing. After admiring them silently for a moment, he announces that he’ll be off to bed now, darling. Remember to be there for me when I wake.

He leaves you alone in the kitchen to stew in your unease.

____________

Now he’s lying in bed, on the side closest to the door, limp as anything. It doesn’t matter whether his facade convinces you or not, he’ll have you in his arms by morning. The blinds aren’t fully down, leaving a pleasant blue hue that gives him a good visual of most of the room. Your side of the bed is still firmly tucked in from when he made it this morning, after running his hands up and down your arms until you’d given a great shudder and shoved him away - a pitiful attempt that he’d impishly gone along with. 

Anticipation tickles his nose and prods at his heart. Childishly, he wants you to get over with it already, to sprint in, swinging a knife wildly, or cue him to start the chase with a slam of the front door so violent that the hinges threaten to crack. It’s unfortunate how your faux compliance conditioned him to be unable to accept a halt, or even slowing, of progress.

Ah, some solace - he can hear your footsteps come up to the door, attempting, albeit poorly, to be quiet. Or maybe they are quiet, to the average man, but someone well-versed in the art of stealth can practically see the way you tiptoe closer. The faint sounds paint a detailed visualisation of your movements - the balls of your feet lifting from the ground, the flexing of your toes, the dorsiflexion at your ankles, the soft thud of your heels hitting the ground.

The bedroom door creaks open, a thin streak of light hitting his eyelids, making him see an ever-so-slight orange behind them. He might be able to visualise your walk accurately, but the same cannot be said for your face. Are you fearful, lips downturned and eyes wide? Are you determined yet cautious, eyes narrowed and lips pressed into a thin line? Are you smug? Condescending? Grinning from ear-to-ear, excited to finally have what you believe to be freedom?

You’re not, he discerns.

Instead, you huff a sigh, a sweet note that makes his heart jump, a small flutter that could only be instigated by you. It’s a sigh of relief. The door is shut. He expects another door to be slammed, too - the front door, hinges quaking as you sprint to the stairs as far as you can, too scared to wait for the elevator (and for your sake, he hopes you’ve brought a pair of running shoes - you’re on the 35th floor, after all). But that doesn’t happen.

Instead, he can hear the clanking of bowls and dishes, the smooth schwip as you push breadcrumbs off the chopping board into the bin with the back of the serrated-edge knife, and how you place said knife into the block without taking another one out.

So you’ve decided against stabbing him tonight? How agreeable.

In fact there seems to be no malice in the way you’re stacking the bowls, no scraps of extra force in how you shut the fridge. Whilst the sounds of your cleanup are nothing short of a ruckus to his alert ears, there’s an intentional tenderness he can hear. A conscious effort to be as quiet as possible with somebody sleeping peacefully in the next room.

It’s a gesture he’ll interpret in the best way he can. Even if he knows he’s deluding himself that you want to be quiet for his own peace rather than so you can escape, he’ll be sure to bring up the former as reasoning for your actions over the next few days, regardless of how you’ll spit venom at him, hissing that he couldn’t be more wrong.

Next is a movement he didn’t expect in the slightest.

You come back to the bedroom, with a pile of fabric in your hands - clothes, maybe? He thought you’d be off and away as soon as possible, or you wouldn’t get close to him again at the very least, standing patiently by the door until whatever you’re waiting for had occurred. 

The quiet-ish footsteps make their way past him this time, and straight into the ensuite.

There’s the soft sound of clothes falling, and then the tap is turned on.

You’re…showering before you leave?

You really are a good teacher of the quirks of humanity. Logical as ever, he’d most certainly take no time for hygiene practices if it reduced his chances of being able to go on a small, liberating adventure. But perhaps that’s part of the plan? Do you not want to have a speck of dirt on you so you don’t smell bad? Will you hide out at a fancy gala, and have to be as fresh as possible? Are you trying to wash off Nen, perhaps? 

No, that would never work, and he’s certain you know this too. Still, the idea of a little hopeless fire in you, taking a precaution you know is futile, makes his lips twitch.

So many questions, few of them answerable at present. His mind is stimulated so wondrously, for once not finding boredom in the predictability of human behaviour. He’s truly chosen well. 

And then there’s something else, rising above the sound of the rushing water, above the drain gurgling it down, greedily gulping it away.

You’re humming.

It’s relatively random, most likely improvised, and slightly off-tune, but endearing all the same. He can taste the notes, sweet and soothing, running down his throat smoothly and pooling warmth in his belly. 

You heave a sigh, and the tune changes. And then he recognises it.

It’s something he heard as a boy, back in Meteor City. He’d hear it at night, walking back to whatever semblance of a refuge he had with Franklin and Shalnark, past the hamlets of the younger children. Letting himself get lost in it, he can feel himself crawling to shelter on scraped knees, walking on calloused heels, eating stale bread, all accompanied by the faint smell of garbage, a smell that years of exposure had waned to a neutral accompaniment of the setting, rather than an inconvenience or hazard.

Despite the unhygienic nature of it all, it’s sweet. It’s these memories - memories of grime and rot and infection - that are the most pure. The most uncorrupted. They’re full of innocence and hope - just like you.

These qualities make you think you’ll leave him.

Upon remembering this, he’s tempted to barge in and ruin your peace, eager to hear your inevitable yelp and nervous laugh as he quizzes you about tonight’s events. But he doesn’t. Your lullaby is too enjoyable, the tune far too agreeable to stomp out yet. Resisting sin by committing another, he decides he doesn’t want to kill this mockingbird, if only to selfishly continue to hear it sing.

Few moments have come like this since you came to be with him. They’re all short-lived in comparison to the cold life he’s had, a firecracker popping on his tongue, fleetingly filling his mouth with syrupy sweetness before quickly dying off, barely an aftertaste to be savoured. He’s scratched them all down in an old leather journal with a quill and ink, lest he forgets what it feels like, or how to get that feeling again, but thankfully they’re scratched even deeper into his psyche. 

You’d been agreeable enough for a reward of a dinner somewhere several stories up, city lights shining behind you, framing your hair beautifully. You were reluctant at first, turning your nose up at him and the priceless food in front of you, opting for the bottle of red wine instead. It wasn’t supposed to be gulped down with such vulgarity like that, but that was part of your charm and by your second glass you were giggling and halfway through your third you looked at him right in the eye, cheeks tinged pink, and you smiled a smile that you’d forget by morning but he wouldn’t…

He’d returned to the villa after a long day to find the fans blasting, and you slumped over on the couch as credits rolled on the screen in front of you. He’d flicked the TV off, not before noting the rom-com’s name, and regarded you, with your deep, even breaths and singlet strap falling down. He picked you up and carried you to bed, laying you down on the thin blankets, fixing your strap despite the small voice that called to him to take off the thing entirely. Your head rested on the pillow, your face not scowling for once, and you’d huffed the sweetest of sighs…

That’s the kind of moment this is.

There’s no thought of what he’ll be doing with the troupe tomorrow, or in a week, or what move to make next depending on what you decide to do. Every nook and cranny of his mind, every convolution of his brain is filled with the thought of you. Tonight, it’s warm and viscous, slowing time and cutting both of you off from the rest of the world; the rest of its filth.

In this moment, he can see himself in the shower with you. He’s across from you, lathering body wash onto his shoulders, letting the foam run down his back. All the while, he keeps his gaze on you, watching how your hands run over your body, soap running along your sternum, between your breasts, along the curve of your hips, your ass, all whilst you hum that tune… shit, he can’t let himself get hard now. He manages to drag himself out of the daydream, barely, just managing to claw himself to the surface of reality.

Caps are popped open and the lathering of soaps can be heard over the course of your performance, with a finale of the tap being turned off. There’s a fumbling of fabrics before you come out, followed by yet another move he doesn’t expect.

You walk up to the bed, peel the sheets back, and lie down beside him. You then roll onto your side, facing him. After a few moments, you prop yourself up onto your elbow.

A moment of nothing. You’re frozen, as is he. Calm before the storm, he prepares himself to catch your wrist and hear you shriek.

You lean over.

And then there’s a featherlight sensation on his forehead, right in the middle of his tattoo. 

Had it been a split second later, he would’ve opened his eyes and turned to face you with a smirk as you screamed. But it’s not a split second later, it’s now, and now you’re kissing him. There’s no real benefit for doing such a thing that he can identify right now - perhaps you know he’s awake, and would like to make amends? Surely you know that that wouldn’t be enough to satisfy him.

The contact sends an electric zap to every corner of his body, although he manages to not make himself jolt. Months of stifled desire bubble up from his insides, desire that’s spent so long smothered by rationale of better outcomes and forcing himself to think of his bloodied obstacles and late nights alone in the shower. As often as his lips find their way to your forehead, unfortunately the reverse doesn’t occur even half as much.

You pull away, like you’re hesitant about what you’ve done, like you’re waiting for him to snap his eyes open and sit up with inhuman speed, ready to pin you down or tie you up or even slap you for tonight’s inconveniences. But that doesn’t make sense, because hesitation is supposed to occur before such an intrepid act, not afterward.

After receiving apparent confirmation that you’re not about to be attacked, he can sense your head slowly but surely coming to rest on your pillow. You shouldn’t strain your neck like that, someone like you could get hurt over time.

The back of his shirt is peeled up, slowly, delicately, and he has to focus to keep his breathing even.

There you lie, staring at the twelve-legged spider etched into his skin, his number a pale contrast to the black ink, practically jumping out at you.

0.

It’s your reminder, he supposes, of what he is. Theoretically and legally nonexistent, practically traceless. Zero evidence. Zero remorse. Zero morality.

Zero.

Then-

One, two, three.

Your lips mark a trail up his spine, at the bottom of the abdomen, right in the middle of the zero, on its head. Don’t shudder.

Once your deed is done, you pull back. There you lie, staring at the twelve-legged spider etched into his skin, so silent that you’re barely breathing.

The fabric of his nightshirt is guided back down. You roll over and proceed to go limp, succumbing to the drugs intended for him.

What was that?

You’re not touching him anymore. He can sense the gap between your bodies, one that he would close every night, pulling you close. 

Was it a relief? To go to sleep without him touching you?

You’d always stirred up such a fuss about his arms being around you as you slept. 

It had always been a cause for seething rage on your part, later argument, later whining, and more recently huffing. Even last night, the stiffness before you fell asleep was a cause of his own discomfort. But you didn’t have to deal with that tonight, and now you’ve fallen asleep in record time. He can’t say it was just from the pills.

Did you change your mind on leaving after you felt their effects? It doesn’t seem likely that you’d ditch all that to sleep. Rather, that you wanted to sleep on your own terms.

He’d spent so much time concerned with stopping a potential escape, that he didn’t stop to consider that maybe, just maybe, that was never the goal to begin with.

And now Chrollo rolls over to face you, gently tugging on your shoulder to pull you onto your back.

You’re serene as ever, a sight to behold. 

He brushes the back of his knuckles along your hair, feeling its texture, so light that his calloused hands - hands that have seen many a bruise and burn and slice and hangnail caught and ripped on the job - almost can’t feel it. Your exhales come out more as huffs and sighs now compared to gentle breathing, and he allows a chuckle (one that he finds incredibly endearing, as much as you’ve let your disagreement to that sentiment be known, preferring to describe it with wounding words such as “condescending” and “grating”) to slip past his lips. 

It reminds him of you when you’re awake, when you used to try so hard to be difficult for him, when you used to scream and scratch as he’d spoon you, grip ironclad, until all you could do was huff and puff and plead with him (and as much as he enjoyed your attempts to compromise, this was something he simply could not relinquish) and eventually, your cursing would die down, your muscles would go limp, and you’d fall asleep. 

Sometimes the sun would be up by the time you relented, and your breaths would be the heaviest then. It was amusing, how quickly you’d switch. One second, you were cussing him and his troupe out, the next, you were a paragon of tranquillity, the visage of an angel before him. He’d pray you love him.

He wants to grab your jaw, hold it firm, and kiss your lips as hard as he can. He wants to tilt his head and take and take and take. He wants to keep taking even if your breathing lightens. He wants to keep taking even if your eyelids flutter open, hazy doe-eyes looking at him with dozy confusion.

Well, he’d never deny his own indulgence.

Leaning in, he presses a kiss to your forehead, just as you did to him.

The touch is as gentle as he can make it, as gentle as he can permit himself to be. There’s a split second of what he could almost call fear, an image of accidentally squeezing you too hard and hearing your bones snap flashing in his mind.

He rubs his thumb over where his lips previously were, feeling an unanticipated wetness left behind.

It’s then that Chrollo realises his mouth is full of his own saliva - whether that was because he was so entranced by your actions that nothing else mattered, body as limp as he could allow, or because, like some sort of filthy animal, he couldn’t help but drool at the contact from you, starved for it like a hyena, he doesn’t know. He swallows. That’s better.

And now for the main event.

He dips down to your lips, and lightly presses his own against them. The feeling is so heavenly, he wonders if you really are an angel. If you were one, would you bless him? Would you destroy him?

If you were to know what he’s doing, would you hate him more?

He pulls away. 

The journey to get here was sizable. Memories of tonight flash by; your cooking, your conversation, your shower. Your humming.

Ah. The tune he heard as a boy. Innocent, naïve, hopeful.

Well, he’s a man now. And far less innocent.

He lets out a hum of his own, deep and rumbling.

Chrollo moves to straddle you, peeling the duvet and sheets back, layer by layer, unveiling the best present he’s ever gifted himself. Just moving into such an intimate position is enough to send pangs of heat downwards, the hardness he fought against earlier returning with an urgency.

For a moment, he tries to fight against it.

Is it to save himself from your hatred? Is it to save you from what he’s planning?

It’s neither, he discerns, as the attempt was doomed to fail before it even started. He knows it was never meant to succeed.

His groin only throbs harder, aching for friction. It’s a spur-of-the-moment thing, the way he presses it against your clothed crotch, rocking back and forth, the slight relief just momentary as his desire only grows.

He regards your unsuspecting face. Stunning. 

Restraint is draining faster now, but still is present just enough to stop him from grinding any harder despite the urge. But if he’s to stop his movements, he’ll need a different kind of stimulation.

He bunches your shirt up, pulling, sliding a hand under your back so he can slip it off your arms and neck.

Now your chest is bare. How ravishing.

His fingers hook under the band of your sleep pants, dragging them off in a clean motion.

And now your legs are bare. How alluring.

He doesn’t take your underwear off - that would simply be crude, and he doesn’t need to tempt himself anymore. If he got the privilege (or right, considering your standings) of seeing you fully nude, as opposed to having a single layer covering the most tantalising part of you, he’d be oh-so-inclined to do something regrettable. His logic fights to win space within his buzzing thoughts, fingers daring to twitch as his imagination fills in the gaps of what the thin black layer forces to be left to it.

Chrollo parts your thighs for good measure, the maximum he can allow himself at this moment. It’d be impossible to not let his hands and gaze trail up them, observing how as he roams upwards, your flesh gets softer, warmer; how the flimsy fabric can’t hide all of your darker flesh; how your lower lips are pressing against the cloth, visible despite the darkness…

God, you’re so fuckable.

There’s a pretentious voice in his head, albeit muffled, that cries protests at the use of such a word to describe you. You’re something far more than that - beautiful, exemplary, one-in-a-million, ethereal. Surely your mouth would be better put to use having a fulfilling conversation with him, a conversation he can dissect and steer and puppeteer, as opposed to just opening as wide as it can to accommodate his cock, taking it as deep as your gag reflex will allow, barely able to breathe, much less talk. Although, he thinks with a faint, deep groan, twitching in his pants, that’s certainly a hypothesis I’ll have to test.

With the sight of your breasts, nipples hard and skin goosebumped from the chill of the room, it’s decided. Just because making his cheeks warm and his cock rock hard isn’t your most prominent trait, doesn’t mean that you aren’t absolutely exceptional at it.

Temptation isn’t something he’s inclined to resist, brushing a thumb over your nipples before leaning down to take one into his mouth. He swears he can hear your breath hitch as his tongue swirls around, breathing getting slightly lighter. An eager hand reaches for the other one, kneading as gently as he thinks he can.

Soft is the first thing he thinks. Your flesh is so soft, so delicate, so tender. If you were awake, he’d vocalise his compliments - and do so loudly, unrestrained.

Your breathing changes as he points his tongue to lightly flick at your nipple repeatedly. Chances are you’re being taken out of REM sleep, but your consciousness doesn’t matter at this stage. And some part of him hopes for it, brief images flashing in his mind of barely-open teary eyes slowly rolling to the back of your head. They’re obscene, so utterly immoral to even fantasise about, yet even the split-second thought makes his stomach jump, shivering a bit as he feels himself be almost overcome by them.

He can’t help but slightly wet his lips in anticipation, relishing in the knowledge that his instincts are being held back with the slightest thread. If he moves even slightly faster than his rational, calculating, non-carnal mind intends, then it’ll snap. He’ll snap.

Almost trembling, he reaches across to his bedside table. The movements are imprecise, but he’s sure this practice will allow him to execute them with much more grace for the inevitable time you’ll be awake. Yes, you’ll be awake and whining and he’ll wet his lips in anticipation and be met with your lingering taste and you’ll want him as much as he wants you- 

He almost falls forward as his own lust threatens to overtake him. Focus on the necessary steps.

Taking a shuddering breath, he leans down to pull open the drawer, to find a bottle hidden at the back, purposefully concealed behind an upright copy of Tess of the D’Urbervilles. Quickly shifting his weight back, he pops the cap open, spreading some of the slick contents onto his fingertips. With his free hand, he pulls down the loose elastic of his pyjama pants, shucking them off, the cold air making him quiver slightly.

Time’s running out.

The movements are trembling, sloppy as he pours lube onto his length, and then onto your spread thighs. There’s a frantic inertia of sorts, a mad momentum - the more he does, the faster he has to go, the anticipation making his stomach swell and dip. He’s really going to do this. It’s really going to happen, and it’ll be amazing.

There. Done. Everything’s ready.

Chrollo takes a shaky breath, gripping just above your knees, and squeezes your thighs around his dick.

Jesus fucking Christ.

Your thighs are warm from the duvet, perfectly cosy and wet from the lube for his cock.

Little time is wasted as he begins to thrust his hips, trying not to give himself too much too soon. The steady pace is slowly increased, little by little, a fragile incline so he can drag this out for as long as possible. 

Can you feel it? Can you feel the warmth radiating from him? Is there some part of your mind that’s awake, but can’t do anything to stop him? Or better yet, is eager to please him?

He strains out a hiss through gritted teeth, peppering kisses over your exposed neck, trying his best not to bite. The pace increases yet again. His eyes are fixated on the mound in your underwear, a more sinister form of curiosity burning within. 

What does your pussy look like?

He won’t use En, that’s just cheating. He wonders and ponders and conjures up the most filthy images his mind can muster. A warm, tight hole that clenches for him as he slips in and out, teasing you. A pretty clit for him to tease with his fingers as you whine, for him to suckle on as you choke on sobs of pleasure. Folds for him to run his tongue through as you rut your hips against his face; for him to run his tip along, collecting your slick.

He imagines how his cock would look disappearing inside of your cunt, how your grip would be so suffocating, how your tits would bounce as he fucks it (because shit, they’re already moving so vigorously now, as he holds his strength, and he can’t even begin to picture what they’d look like if he loses control buried deep inside you, repeatedly stuffing you to the hilt as you cry out). He imagines how you’d tighten around him, babbling something incoherent as you wrap your arms and legs around him, and oh fuck, he can’t pull out now. He imagines the tension snapping, giving a rumbling groan as he shoves himself into you as deeply as possible, eyes screwing shut and burying his face in the junction between your neck and shoulder, riding out his high with a few shallow thrusts.

And finally, he imagines how his cum would look leaking out of your pussy, twitching and swollen from a nice good fuck. The afterglow. The squeak you’d give if he fingered it back into you, growling at you to not waste a drop, keep it all inside for me.

The thought makes his hips stutter a little, threatening to slip out of the plushness between your thighs. Once he regains his rhythm, though, they’re speeding up, relentlessly fucking himself into your thighs over and over, kneading the flesh as he squeezes them tighter and closer.

Chrollo cups your face with a single hand, and leans in. 

It’s the second time he’s properly kissed you tonight, and it feels fucking amazing. Your soft lips, your soft thighs, they’re all working together to make his head swim in bliss. You’re working to make him feel good. Yes, him. Nobody else. You’re his.

The thoughts run wild. He has as little control over them as he does his hips.

How would it feel to fuck you in some other position? How would it feel to flip you onto your stomach, pulling your hips back to meet his, as he stuffs himself into your sopping cunt over and over, watching your ass bounce? How would you cry out at the way his balls slap against your swollen clit, building up the pressure inside you until you just can’t take any more?

How would you grind on top of him? How would you moan as you bounce, tilting your head back as you stretch yourself on his length, panting? How many times could you do it until your legs trembled uncontrollably, forcing yourself to impale yourself on his cock just one more time? When he’d plant his feet on the bed firmly and thrust his hips up, grabbing yours and bouncing you in time, would you wail, or simply slump over, completely unable to form a thought as you cum around him for the nth time?

You’re flexible enough to fold into a mating press, right? How deep could he go? How fast could he go? How would your beautiful skin look covered in love bites?

The coil of pressure within him grows even tighter even faster, balls slapping against your thighs, hips pistoning rhythmlessly.

If he asked, oh-so-nicely, for you to get on your knees and please him with your mouth, would you oh-so-sweetly do it? Would you suckle his swollen tip? Would you tease him with a glint of mischief in your eyes? Would you find his most sensitive spots and exploit them? Would you trace your tongue along the veins? Would you massage his balls? Would you let him control the pace, a hand intertwined in your hair? Would you look up at him as you tear up, doe-eyes wide and eager to please? Would you rub your pretty pussy while he shoots thick ropes of cum down your throat, pressing your nose against his pelvis?

Yes, he decides as the coil begins to snap, you would.

Chrollo comes to a sudden halt, choking out a rich groan in a low timbre. The noise becomes more strained as he rides out the high, the overwhelming euphoria becoming just a bit too intense as it begins to morph into overstimulation. Once he’s sure the moment’s over, he lets go of your legs, pulling back to catch his breath and admire his work.

Ropes of cum paint your chest, some making it as far as your neck, your chin. It’s beautiful, the unruly mess he’s made - no, the mess you’ve made of him.

You’re a real beauty, you know that?

The bathroom tiles are cold against his feet as he grabs a washcloth to clean you up. It’s sad to see it go, to a primal extent, but it’s probably for the best to ensure he doesn’t get any ideas for a second round tonight.

For future nights, though? The chest he’s covering up will soon be exposed soon enough.

He’ll have to get more sleeping pills. You simply must try this again soon. 

Next time, he’ll taste you. The time after that, you’ll taste him. He can hardly wait, nor can he stop the dull throbbing starting up in his groin again.

He sates himself for the time being with the knowledge that the time after that, you’ll be awake.

I love how the idea her simply not liking him never comes up in his mind for why she says the stuff she does lmao.

This is super funny though cuz after all the extreme feelings towards him boils down I would be going out of my way to mildly annoy him too. Just for shits and giggles

I would be on some little kid shit after a while cuz I know he hasn’t been through grade school childishness.

I’d be telling him to spell Icup. The classic I’m wanna eat up dog joke. I’d write out the this is cat joke for him to read

I’d make him play that one game where you hold the back your hand and try to dodge the old person slapping the shit out of your hands but I would lie and tell him boys aren’t suppose to dodge cuz it’s lame.

Then proceed to hurt my own hands hitting him just to take out my frustrations on him. (I’m aware this can backfire but boredom is boredom🤗)

Pinprick in the Backdrop - Chrollo's Thoughts

[Name]'s Transgressions and Idiosyncrasies:

There have been quite a few interesting confrontations and comments. Although the former is more amusing, the latter would be charming if I had the ability to understand such odd strings of words. If I didn't know any better, I could even claim that she chooses words at random and ties them together into a sentence. It's peculiar to say the least, but it is very endearing. For example:

Being told I resemble Dory's father when I expose my forehead. A quick internet search had revealed the truth in full, and though my mood did sour, I can admit that the comment was in good taste.

Becoming her inspiration to relive a show called, 'The Way of the Househusband'. She had one day, completely out of the blue, asked me if I happen to have a penchant for domesticity. Though I gave a vague answer that leaned towards neither side, she had immediately retorted, "It would be nice if I ended up like the characters in the way of the househusband." Further probing had resulted in no important information. Perhaps I should look into this show after all.

Ending up on the receiving end of her bad moods and very colourful remarks. I still do not understand to this day why she had randomly strolled in while I was talking to Shalnark in a different room, frowned, and promptly called me a rotting apple that no worm or microscopic entity would want before scurrying away.

Having all of my fashion choices being called crimes that are worse than any I have ever committed before. If she dislikes my taste so viciously, I don't understand why she accepts the clothes I get her so readily. Further thought is needed for this.

These are only a few of the recent ones. I will continue adding to this list to understand her better. Perhaps there really is a method behind her seemingly random and impulsive comments as well as her cute attempts at transgressions.

𖤐 — foot job, foot fetish, nsfw, idk chrollo being a different type of freak, he gotta thing for feet idc what anyone says.

Chrollo Lucilfer would get you a dainty little anklet (no doubt stolen), just to be able to put around your ankle and touch up on your feet without it being strange. It starts with him fitting the chain around the small expanse of your ankle clasping the two ends together. Chrollo continues by placing a chaste kiss on the inside of your ankle where the small chain rests, then another to the top of your foot, toes curling and perfectly manicured nails moving at the sensation. Chrollo brings your other foot into his hand pulling it to his groin and rubbing it along his clothed cock, getting himself hard with your foot. Understanding you begin to rub along his cock, causing Chrollo to let out a sigh at the needed friction. He drops your foot in favor of pulling his slacks and boxers down, his hard cock springing free from its confines and hitting his clothed abdomen. Giggles began to resonate from you as you bring both feet up to Chrollo’s erect cock, slowly jerking him off. Chrollo’s eyes closed in bliss, one of the few moments the man would be seen without his guard up. The man was in pure ecstasy when his cock was getting stroked by your pretty little feet.

masterlist

𖤐 — nsfw, drugs, alcohol, dubious consent (both r high), idk might not be coherent i’m a lil high ngl

I feel like Chrollo’s the type to get really overly horny while he’s high, like one second you’ll be snorting lines with him, and next you’re on your back with his hard dick pressed against your pussy. He doesn’t get high often (his job doesn’t exactly let him do fuck all whenever he wants), but when he does he goes all out, not only for himself— but for you as well. He personally likes coke above all, but whatever you want he’ll get it— marijuana, pills, LSD, whatever you want, name it, and he’ll get it. He’ll have a bottle of wine and a shot of liquor waiting for you to wash down your Xanax or smoke. Snorting back-to-back lines it’s no wonder Chrollo’s as hard as a rock when he rubs against your slowly dampening cunt, and you’re just as high as he is, movements slowing, mind numb, and just as needy. He dives down to kiss you, liquor seeping through his spit, the kiss is porn worthy, all teeth, spit, and tongue clashing dangerously hard. He’s pulling at your bottoms with such vigor and speed it has you gasping into his mouth, and then you’re grabbing at his belt buckle, nimble fingers thumbing to get his pants down. You both meet in the middle with Chrollo thrusting into you, he finds himself groaning into your ear as you moan into his. He loves having sex with you already, but being high while doing it? That’s a whole different feeling for him. He loves it and doesn’t think he’ll be giving it up anytime soon.

masterlist

Could you write what kinks you think chrollo may have?

𖤐 — nsfw, kinks ofc, def not all but sum of my faves for chrollo <3

Feet — I’ve said it once before but Chrollo definitely has a thing for feet. He likes seeing them in heels when you dress up for him. He’ll paint your toenails, making sure to pick the colors perfectly to match you best. He’ll steal dainty little anklets, just to be able to put them on you.

Hair Pulling — Not only does he like pulling your hair during sex, but he loves nothing more when you start to tug on his. He loves it when you thread your fingers through his soft black hair, tugging gently to get him closer as he eats you out. Your hands pushing at the back of his head when you both go in for a heated kiss, touch tangled into his hair just like your tongues.

Eye Contact — There’s something so intimate about staring into your eyes while he’s inside of you. He’ll glance down every now and then to look at the way he’s pushing into you, staring right back into your needy eyes when he looks up. It’s the reason he always wants to fuck in missionary.

Praise — It’s his favorite thing to do because it’s nothing but the truth. Every groan of how pretty you sound when you moan for him, how good you are for him, how perfect you are— how perfect your pussy is, he means every last breath of his praises to you.

Creampie — Something about watching his cum drip from you, seeing your pretty little pussy twitch from the fullness of his cum inside you, he’d never get enough of it. Just being so completely raw while inside of you, feeling himself drag against you with nothing in his way, knowing he could violate and ruin your cunt at any moment.

masterlist

How do you think chrollo would take care of his s/o if they were blacked out drunk or so high they could barely function do you think he would take advantage of the situation or do you think he would take care of his S/o or even both?

𖤐 — nsfw, alcohol, dubious consent, public stuff, pool stuff, idk took the prompt and ran w it

Slurred words and wavering movements are all you are as you make your way to Chrollo, you’d slipped right from his grasp the second the two of you entered the venue in favor of finding the alcohol, and giving Chrollo his time to steal what from who.

But now here you were, as gorgeous as ever, albeit a little sloppy than what he’s used to while sober. Your hips swayed beautifully, the red satin of your dress moving flawlessly with your waist, hips, and bra-less tits— he could only imagine what your ass would look like, your hair was slightly tousled from your drunkenness, once untouched makeup now slightly smudged from your carelessness, every last inch of you was drunk in greedily by not only Chrollo but others as well. He can understand the prying eyes, but only to an extent, and he wouldn’t hesitate to kill them if they tried anything more.

Soon Chrollo finds himself as your babysitter during the drive back to your shared motel room, he opens the car door for you grabbing your waist before you can fall over yourself. You're fine he soon realizes as you steady yourself and drag yourself from his grip, making your way to the motel pool. The black-haired man huffs, amused by your behavior but soon follows you to the gated and fairly private area, you slip in the gate before him, blocking you completely from his view.

And as he slowly opens the gate door he can’t help but smirk at the sight of your bare tits— your bare everything, the only piece of clothing being a lacy black thong, that left nothing to the imagination. Soon Chrollo finds his own clothes (minus his boxers, it was only fair) on the floor beside yours. He’s on you by the time you come up for air, a hand is on your face pushing back your wet hair as his other pulls your body towards his, you grind yourself against him as he leans in to kiss you. He can taste the alcohol on your tongue as he moves to push you toward the deepest part of the pool, propping you up against the wall, making it easier to grind against each other. Your bare tits are pressed against his bare chest and you can feel his hard-on pressing against you under the water.

“Let’s go inside, yeah?”

masterlist

Choking desire?

„Do you think you can trust me enough to fulfill your desire, my dear?“ his voice is low and calm. He looks at her with nothing but kindness and love.

Y/n only manages to nod since it´s been her first time telling anyone about her `unusual´ fantasy. She looks up at him as he towers over her chair and keeps stroking her soft hair.

„Don´t worry my dear… It´s OK to be nervous, it´s your first time after all“ Y/N only manages to nod and breathe out a little „thank you“. Chrollo can only smile at her sweet reaction.

After tieing her hands and feet to the chair he gives her a reassuring smile as he can see his lover´s excitement growing „Look at you… such a good girl“ he gives her a small kiss on the forehead and starts caressing her cheek again.

„Do you also enjoy this?“ from her voice, you can hear that she is nervous and insecure. Chrollo lets out a chuckle „Of course, my dear… How could I not? You look truly gorgeous with your hands and feet tied“. „Then please continue“

Chrollo leans down and gives her a tender kiss on the lips „There´s no need to rush darling. I want you to experience everything to the fullest“. Y/n´s lover keeps giving her gentle kisses while his hand slowly makes its way to her throat. His other one is resting behind her head and strokes her hair.

When his hand reaches Y/n´s throat he softly puts his hand around it but doesn´t apply any pressure. Y/n lets out a small please against his lips and she can feel Chrollo slowly smiling as he enjoys Y/n´s begging.

Slowly but surely, he tightens his grip on her throat as he stopped kissing just so he can nibble on her ear. „thank you“ is Y/n only reaction as she closes her eyes to fully savor this moment.

„You´re welcome, my dear… I´m enjoying this very much as well… I love seeing you like this“ Chrollo then increases his grip and he hears his beloved letting out a breathless „yes“

„Yes? Is it pleasant, my dear? Should I choke you harder?“ Y/n only manages to give a little nod as she opens her mouth and shuts her eyes once again „fuck, please“ she begs.

His hand tightens a bit more this time and Y/n finds herself unable to take full breaths which only thrills her more. „Does this please you, my dear?“

Chrollo straightens up to look down at Y/n with love and feels happy to see y/n struggle. He loves seeing you like this… at his mercy. He once again leans down to your ear and whispers with the deepest and sweetest voice „Shall we take this a step further dear?“

--------------------------------

OMG i did it! My very first little oneshot? drabble? i´m sweating at the thought of uploading this huh, but I must say it was very fun writing this so i hope anybody who comes across this enjoys reading it 🫂 I also suck with titles sorryy and i hope i did the tagging right

My own sleeping beauty (Chrollo-Fluff)

Today is just a day where you don´t want to leave your bed, where simply getting out of bed is a horrible task, where brushing your teeth seems impossible, where the thought of eating breakfast makes you sick because you'd have to get out of bed first.

And you know you have to get up because it´s not healthy to let your depression wash all over you again and chain you to your bed to rot. But you just can't help it. You really can't. So to tune your negative thoughts off, you simply turn to the other side and shut your eyes for another dreamless nap. You already know that it´ll leave you even more exhausted than now.

After some time, you´re being woken up by your boyfriend, who is gently stroking your hair and calling your name. Lazily, you turn to your back to look at him while mentally scolding yourself for spending the whole day sleeping.

"Good morning, my dear," he chuckles. "Or should I say good evening?" You can´t help but feel guilty for doing nothing productive today. Starting to hate yourself for being like this then hating on yourself again for feeling so much hate for your own brain, which is a never ending cycle of growing hate towards you.

"Sorry, I should have made dinner for us since you´ve been working this whole week while I´ve been at home doing nothing." You slowly sit yourself up and try to rub the sleep out of your eyes, feeling ashamed. "I just don´t know what´s wrong with me. I can´t even say that I´ve rested well," you feel the tears welling in your eyes as you explain yourself to your boyfriend, "I dont know why this keeps happening to me like last week I've been doing so well but now I have this urge to isolate myself and rot away in my bed... I'm sorry."

Chrollo knows that you sometimes struggle with your mental health which worries him a lot when he's not with you. Thinking and researching of ways to help you like buying you a nice bullet journal for to-do lists or hiding little self-written poems so that when you do something like cooking you'd find it inbetween the plates. But even those are sometimes not enough.

Now that you´re sitting he lets his hand slide down to cup your cheek and says"My love, there is nothing to feel guilty about. I won´t judge you for you are only human too" He then grabs you gently by your waist and pulls you onto his lap so that he can embrace you. "Even if you were to sleep all year long I´d not leave your side," he whispers while rubbing your back. "You are like my own sleeping beauty, who only awakens with the gentle touch of true love".

His words never fail to fluster you, leaving you wondering how he can still be in love with you even though you can be such a mess sometimes. Overwhelmed by his statement, you can´t find the right words to say something back, so you just sigh and lean your head in the crook of his neck.

Suddenly he stands up with you in his arms "How does a bath together sound to you, my dear?" Without waiting for your answer he proceeds to walk to your shared bathroom and put you down on the closed toilet so that he can prepare the bath. While the tub is filling up with water, Chrollo gives you a gentle kiss on your forehead and instructs you to wait there for him.

While he was gone, you forced yourself to stand up and brush your teeth then to throw a bath ball into the now full tub. Chrollo enters the bathroom again with fresh clothes for you and him in his hand and smiles lovingly as he sees you. He puts the clothes on the washing machine and helps you out of your pajama.

After helping you into the bathtub he takes off his outfit as well and puts it with your clothes in the basket. Chrollo then sits down behind you in the bathtub while grabbing the sponge and gently cleaning your back. "My beloved, I´m so proud of you" he whispers, "Despite your own mind turning against you, you have not given up. And I admire you for that, my love," he puts the sponge away and starts washing your hair with soft and gentle motions.

"For most people, waking up with energy and self-love is a given. But not for you - you have to struggle with your own thoughts and mind everyday." He takes your jaw into his hand and slightly turns it to him so that he can give you a soft kiss on the temple, "But my dear, you are still standing strong and fighting. So I can´t help but be proud of you, my precious angel."

♡♡~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~♡♡

Homewrecker

>Yan! Chrollo x Fem! Reader

>Word count: 4.6k

Warnings: drugging, accusation of cheating

A perfect relationship, a perfect home. A life built on lies can never be permanent, can it?

Thoughts

Chrollo doesn’t know why you’ve been acting this way. He had been away for two weeks - okay almost three weeks - but you were completely fine before he left. This time, there was no welcome hug when he arrived home, no questions of how the journey was and no joking declaration of how you were so lonely in the king sized bed at night.

What’s worse is that when he woke up, you were sleeping on the couch. You hadn’t even gone to bed with him, sitting on the table with a cup of coffee and your laptop open in front of you as you coldly shoo-ed him away while you worked in the middle of the night. 

Saying that he’s hurt would be an understatement. But despite all that, he makes his morning coffee as quietly as he can after he took your sleeping form from the couch and laid you on the bed. Perhaps his own courteousness would win you over and lead you to talk to him. 

A few hours pass and he’s proven wrong. The most he gets is a glare from you when you emerge from the bedroom.

It’s afternoon now, and while Chrollo showers, he wonders how he should go about the situation. Having used En just a few minutes ago, he knows that you’re using your laptop again and mindlessly scrolling some social media site. He sighs. This weekend was supposed to be one where the two of you caught up and went out on at least one date.

As the water goes down the drain, he can’t help but visualise his plans flowing away with it.

A towel around his neck and no shirt, he casually heads to the kitchen to get a glass of water and hopes that the teasing appearance he’s put on would make you at least sneak a look. Nothing. Your eyes remained glued to your laptop.

Well, if you won’t notice him, he’ll just make you notice him! He casually saunters over to where you’re seated and bends down. The action is to make his shirtless appearance visible, and when he asks you what you’re doing, he notices your eyes briefly glancing at his torso.

A small victory but a victory nonetheless.

However, the feeling is quickly squashed when you don’t give him a reply and instead continue scrolling through an array of cat videos. Chrollo is more surprised than annoyed. What did he do that made your attitude get this bad with him?

Pursing his lips, he gives up and moves away to the bedroom to dry his hair. If you’re not going to speak to him and make your displeasure so explicitly known, he’ll have to resort to… other tactics.

So, he fastens the apron's belt and gets to work. Even as the dishes clink and the tap water runs, you don't bother looking anywhere other than the screen in front of you.

When he leaves the potatoes to boil, he hears the chair dragging against the floor and turns around to see you standing up.

"I've had enough. There's no need to continue your act, Chrollo. I know what you're hiding and I have evidence."

The declaration suffices to make his heart stop beating for a moment. As you bring over your laptop to the kitchen counter, a million thoughts run in his head.

Did you somehow find out about the troupe? He never left any trails that could lead you to that. Perhaps Shalnark came to see him here in his absence. But he was also sworn to secrecy, so how? Just how deep did you dig to find the information?

For the first time in almost forever, Chrollo feels his heart thrum against his chest out of fear and apprehension. The price he'll have to pay if things go wrong is too much for him. He'll have to refute every single claim of yours and reject every single theory and fact that you may present him. Maybe even throw in some lies to make sure that you don't-

"I know everything, so don't even try to lie to me!"

All Chrollo does is look at you, eyes cautiously watching your fingers hovering over the touchpad. "You do…?"

Frustrated, you let out a groan. "Yes, I do! What's her name, huh? Does she know that you're engaged to someone? Or are you just messing around out of some stupid reason like being afraid of being committed to someone with marriage?"

Her name? Messing around? Engaged to someone?

Did you… did you think he was cheating on you?

You turn the laptop screen towards him, pointing to the display. "I have an entire powerpoint presentation ready, so don't you dare say that I'm overthinking things. I have a list of evidence piled up and I want answers."

Chrollo isn't sure whether he should be flattered over your commitment or intimidated by your ferocity.

"Before I start, is there anything you want to say to me, mister 'I hunt antiques and artefacts for a living'?"

Silence remains in the apartment, only the sound of the potatoes submerged in the boiling water persisting. The two of you engage in a short-lived staring contest, and Chrollo only looks away to turn off the stove. The engagement ring he had presented you briefly comes to his mind and everything makes sense.

You took his frequent absence and lack of communication for him cheating on you with another woman. Why didn't he realise sooner?

"Since you have nothing to say," you speak, voice cutting through the silence, "I can only assume that you're guilty. Well, should I start this presentation and reveal the dirty secrets you've been hiding?"

Honestly, Chrollo thinks that if you found out what the secrets really are, you would repent and pray that it actually was a woman that he was hiding. Nevertheless, since his fears aren't what reality is, he supposes he could humour you as he de-escalates the situation.

"What makes you think I'm cheating on you?" he asks. 

"I think the presentation would speak for me."

He takes a seat next to you, turning the laptop screen to face him. He notices the way you watch him as he silently goes through it, a smile cracking on his face. Your younger sister was right. The ability of a woman to gather and sort out information is quite impressive.

It's when he gets to the end of the presentation that a laugh spills from his throat. He has to put a hand over his mouth to compose himself, eyes crinkling shut as he laughs behind his hand.

"What's so funny? Do you really think this is something to laugh at?" Your voice gets louder, shakier. "Chrollo, this is serious! I can't believe you!"

He waves away your words, sighing as he calms down. One look at you and he feels himself grow even more perplexed. Is the thought of him cheating so horrible that you've started crying? Ah. Who knows what you might do if you find out the real secrets he's hiding.

When his thumb brushes away a tear, you're quick to voice your thoughts. "You're horrible… and mean."

Hm. Perhaps he is. But he's selfish too. Very selfish.

"E-explain yourself. I don't care for any excuses, and I already know everything. Explain yourself and we can talk this out like adults."

He should probably tell you that you don't look intimidating while weeping, but he figures he'll keep it to himself for now.

"There is no room for repudiation," Chrollo says. "You've been very thorough. I'm impressed."

"What, so you're admitting it?" A few more hot tears escape your eyes, running over his thumb before travelling down to your chin. "I should've realised. You were always too good to be true. It's always the men who are the nicest that turn out to be the worst."

Is that what you really think of him? How adorable.

"And if you are admitting it, just know that I already told my sister I'm coming back home tonight. I'll take all my stuff. I don't care what happens to the apartment."

Chrollo can't help but play along for a while. If he can understand your reaction to this, he might be able to predict your reaction to the truth. "And what about the ring?"

"You can give it to whoever you want. I don't want to see it or you ever again."

Hm. Maybe he should actually start de-escalating the situation before you actually up and leave.

"I don't think any of that's necessary," he points out. "You're misunderstanding things. Let me expla-"

"No! I don't want your excuses. You just admitted that what I said and wrote in this ppt is true. There's no more room for talk."

First you say that you're willing to hear an explanation, yet now you refute his attempts? You must be more frazzled than he thought.

"What I admitted was your evidence. I didn't confirm your conclusion. I'm not cheating on you. I never was and never will."

Your tears turn into angry ones as you furrow your brows, voice getting louder. You were never someone who could express anger without crying, another facet of yourself that Chrollo holds great affection for. Though the first time it happened, he was quite confused.

"You're just sweet talking," you accuse. "That's the first thing a person does when called out on their crimes."

"I'm not. I swear on my life." Chrollo closes the laptop screen, making a mental note to close and cover the gaps in his behaviour that you had pointed out in the presentation. "I have an explanation for every single thing, but it can easily be made concise with this. I'm not a hunter and work directly under one. That's why I don't prefer to contact you during work. If anyone finds out, it might cause problems."

"What, so you're prone to making enemies?"

"I wouldn't say 'prone'. It just comes with the job. When you're hunting and tracking things that richer, more notorious people also covet, malice naturally accompanies. So far, being an orphan has led me to being able to do whatever I want."

You purse your lips, thinking over his words. Sure, he did admit being careless with work in the past but ever since he started courting you, he put work at a distance. If there is one thing Chrollo can easily take advantage of, it's your soft heart.

"So you… don't contact me much when on jobs because of safety…?"

"Yes," he blurts out. "I would never want anything to happen to you."

You ponder over his words for a moment, tears having stopped and cheeks wet. As Chrollo brushes away the wetness, he sees your accusatory glare directed towards him again.

"Call Shalnark and give me the phone."

He blinks. "What?"

"I said-"

"I heard you, but why?"

Gently pushing away his hands, you continue glaring. "I still want to confirm something."

Scepticism gnaws at Chrollo's brain. He's unable to understand why you want to talk to Shalnark, but he's in no position to refuse, so he grabs his phone and dials him.

The phone rings once, twice and Shalnark picks up at the third bell. Before Chrollo could utter a word, the phone was taken from his hands.

"Hey boss! What's up?" Shalnark's voice greets him from the phone, but you put the device to your ear.

"Boss?" You look perplexed and Chrollo mentally facepalms. "Hello Shalnark. It's me, [Name]."

"Oh hi there! Long time no see."

"Yeah. Um, can I ask you a few things? It's about Chrollo."

The man in question just knows that Shal is just as confused as he is, if not more. Maybe it's because you're talking to him through his phone, the phone that the boss of the Phantom Troupe uses. Or maybe it's because you're completely oblivious to the identity the both of them are hiding.

"About Chrollo? Yeah sure. Shoot em and I'll answer."

Chrollo makes a mental note to thank Shal for his cooperation.

"Okay," you drawl. "Why did you greet him with 'boss'?"

"Oh! Simple really. It's a nickname that stuck since we were kids. He was a good leader, so we nicknamed him boss." 

"Really? Alright. Okay okay. Next question." You briefly glance at Chrollo before looking away. "How long was the excavation job you guys just finished?"

"Um… almost three weeks? It was kind of long. Boring, really. Chrollo was sleeping half the time. The map we had was a fake, so it got pretty troublesome."

Chrollo listens intently, noting every single lie Shalnark makes up, so that he doesn't accidentally claim anything otherwise in the timeline he created.

"And he was with you and the others the entire time?"

"Yup! Is something the matter? Did he not come home?"

You chuckle, "If he didn't come home, how am I calling you with his phone?"

"Oh… right, haha."

"Alright, last question. What's the relationship between me and Chrollo?"

He can imagine the confusion on Shalnark's face right now.

"You both are engaged. Why? Did something happen? He didn't say anything to you, did he?"

"No no. I just wanted to make sure of some things."

"Are the two of you fighting?"

Chrollo mentally facepalms again. You do not ask a lady who is gathering information about her fiancé whether or not there's a fight. It's simply invasive.

You shake your head, tone slightly confused. "No? I mean… maybe I was the one who got carried away… but to be honest, he did give sufficient room to let that happen."

"Oh, I see. Chrollo can be a little distant sometimes, but I assure you, he talks a lot about you when he's away. Sometimes we get so annoyed we get tempted to call you and ask you to come pick him up."

Perhaps Shal deserves more than a thanks.

The statement throws you off guard, and Chrollo smiles when he sees you fluster. You turn your back to him, supposedly to hide your expression, and answer. "Okay okay. I get it. Thanks for the help, Shalnark. I'll make sure to make your favourite food whenever you next visit."

There's a laugh on the other side of the phone. "Well, I can't pass up on good food. I'm glad I could help."

The two of you exchange farewells and that's when you finally face Chrollo. Lips pressed into a thin line, you hand over his phone without looking him in the eyes.

"Are you satisfied?" Chrollo keeps his tone gentle and soft so that it doesn't feel demeaning. You, however, look apologetic.

"Yeah yeah. You win. I'm sorry for doubting you."

He simply sighs. "And I apologise for creating room for doubt. I'll try and message you more whenever I'm away."

The guilt that may have been bubbling inside you is evident on your face, and you insist on apologising. “I’m really sorry, Chrollo.” Hands together and fidgeting, you don’t look him in the eye. “The accusation was heavy. The word ‘cheating’ isn’t something to be easily thrown around. I promise to trust you more and I swear that I won’t ever-”

“It’s alright,” he interjects. “If nothing, it makes me a little happy that you’re possessive.” Chrollo smiles, eyeing how hesitantly you make eye contact. “Besides, I only have eyes for you, darling. If I could, I would kidnap you and have you all to myself.”

Maybe it’s because to you, he’s joked around like this countless times before that you don’t take his words seriously and simply laugh it off. Even now as Chrollo watches you smile and brush off his words, he wonders how you’ll react when you find out he was in no way telling a joke.

Perhaps you’ll actually scream that time.

-

Chrollo allowed himself three tries to finally take you away. As the questions of when he'll start planning the wedding persist and grow more frequent, he scolds himself to be swiftly done with it. However, as trivial the act of kidnapping and threatening is to him, the more bothersome it becomes when he counts you as the victim.

The first attempt fails horribly before it could even be attempted.

He initially planned to use the weekend your parents were out of town to quietly slip away from their radar. There would be no calls from your mother and no contact with your sister either, thus it being the perfect time to simply disappear.

Unfortunately, Chrollo is woken up by the sound of someone emptying their stomach contents and an hour later, you're sitting in the living room, legs crossed in your favourite swinging chair, and crying as you recount your symptoms to him.

The sun hasn't even risen yet, and you're wide awake, shaking from a fever and sniffling while Chrollo rummages through the medicine cabinet. He briefly considers using your weakened state to his advantage but ultimately decides against it. Something like that would simply upset you further.

He blames your condition on the leftovers you ate last night.

The poor man has to endure two entire days of seeing you weak and sickly, not to mention trying to nurse you back to health just for you to simply cry and ask to see your mother. When the dreaded weekend is over, he drives you to your parents' house. Relief is written all over his face when you seem satisfied embracing your mother.

Chrollo receives a comforting pat on the back from your father in return. With the sight of you finally somewhat relieved, he thinks the trouble of dealing with a sick you was worth it.

The second attempt is thought over when Shalnark is in the city.

He's departing in a few days, so you've invited him over for dinner. Truthfully, you weren't supposed to find him out. Shalnark had come to Chrollo for 'business' and you just happened to ask too many questions about where Chrollo was going for lunch.

Which brings him here, sitting across from his troupe member while you finish preparing dinner. The awkward silence between the two of them is accompanied by your low humming, the two men settling on conversing about random topics when you give them a brief questioning look.

Chrollo almost feels jealous at the treatment you give Shalnark. You cooked the dishes he requested you to, even going as far as to let him taste test. He supposed being off the hook is enough as thanks to Shalnark for playing along during the phone call.

The previous events that transpired bring him here: in your arms while he pretends to read a book. The bedroom is dimly lit and you're humming some song he never heard. Your head rests on his thigh, arms wrapped around them as well while he remains seated. A few moments later, Chrollo decides the pointless reading isn't worth it and slips under the cover next to you.

Now you're the one in his arms.

A happy sigh leaves your lips as you nuzzle into him. No words are shared in the quiet bedroom. Only actions. A hand on your lower back, you breathing in his scent and his own vulnerability on brazen display in the form of his uncovered forehead.

It doesn't take long for you to fall asleep and when you do, Chrollo thinks over his plan. Tomorrow your world will shatter. The home you created so lovingly will be destroyed and a once abundant peace and comfort will become paltry. Things will change and your feelings for him may as well.

Chrollo wills away the thought. You'll come to love him again. It's inevitable. He will make sure of it.

-

The steering wheel is gripped tighter as Chrollo reverses the car out of the parking space. As the restaurant you both just had dinner at goes farther and farther away, Chrollo's resolve also fades. Perhaps today isn't the right day to do this. You look so happy, and he can't bring himself to take away the smile on your face.

Chrollo weighs his options. There's still one attempt left. He could just cancel the hotel reservation he made in the neighbouring city and try again.

But there's only one try left…

Screw it.

You continue rambling about something he was unable to hear, your voice fading into the background as he thinks over his plan. Ultimately, he decides against it. Being cognizant of the sleeping pills in his pocket doesn't make him feel any better.

Sometimes he wonders why he even let it get this far, why he bothered with all this. But when you gently call his name with that teasing smile asking if he's listening or not, he can't help but mirror the expression.

"Sorry. I was listening to your voice, not your words. Would you mind repeating that?"

The subtle flirtation brings easy forgiveness. Chrollo thinks he made the right decision by taking you home and not drugging you. He thinks he'll take that third try, and he must.

The condition he set on himself was that if he fails all three tries, he must break off the engagement and never see you again.

Another two weeks pass and Chrollo finds himself questioning whether being so deep in your family was a good idea. Sure, it made putting a ring on you easier, but it also brought their close involvement. That isn't necessarily a bad thing since he could use that against you in the future, but for now it does irk him to an extent.

Your younger sister sits in the passenger seat behind him as he drives her home. The highschooler doesn't talk too much, and he always finds himself content in her company. However, this time, he has to force himself to conceal his annoyance.

You had phoned Chrollo while he was out gathering information and asked him to drop her home. Had she not missed the bus home, he would have been home with you at this very moment. Perhaps her apologetic behaviour suffices to gain Chrollo's forgiveness.

She leaves the car with another apology and a thank you, prompting Chrollo to swiftly drive home to you. The hat covering his head and forehead is immediately taken off as soon as he steps foot inside, and he relaxes when he smells food on the stove. Is this really what he’s attracted to? Homeliness?

No wonder he's grown so attached to you. Even now as you hug him in greeting, Chrollo has to force himself to separate from you physically. 

Dinner is slow, comfortable and fulfilling. The two of you next watch a movie, one where you scowled whenever he let his hands wander and scolded him to 'watch the darn psychological thriller!' as you paid great attention to it. 

Nighttime brings rest, and Chrollo thinks over his options again while you remain in deep sleep next to him. He goes through several possibilities, numerous possible reactions and a plethora of ways he could subdue each and every one of them.

When he ultimately slips into slumber, he does so with a newfound determination to finally get done with what he wants to do.

-

The sound of giggles follow when what he assumes to be a shirt is thrown at him. In his line of sight, you stand near the doorframe of the bedroom, eyes crinkling as your laughter dies down. Chrollo finds himself wearing a similar expression. A few drops of water drip from the tips of his hair and onto his shoulder and the floor as he slowly steps your way.

He notices your eyes briefly resting on his bare chest before they make eye contact, but before he can tease you, you're already playfully shoving him away.

"Get dressed!" You turn on your heel, aiming to head to the living room. "Geez, I don't know why you like being shirtless so much."

Before he could stop himself, a reply had already left his mouth. "Perhaps it's because a special someone's eyes like the sight. Or am I mistaken?"

No response. He takes your back turned to him and your sigh as you being done with his jokes and chuckles before heading to dry his hair and getting dressed. 

It doesn't come as a surprise to him that you help do the former.

In all honesty, Chrollo finds this sort of everyday life with you calming. He feels at home, content even. With one hundred percent confidence he can declare that this kind of lifestyle is where he never will belong, but he knows deep down that he enjoys it.

Perhaps it's the irony that draws him to it.

Tonight, Chrollo asks to be allowed to prepare dinner. His culinary skills are, at first, questioned but you give your permission and somewhat begrudgingly seat yourself in the living room, back turned to whatever he's doing in the kitchen.

It takes some time but Chrollo ends up cooking a decent meal. Okay, so maybe the meat is a bit overcooked and maybe he ended up using a little more salt than necessary but it's edible and you don't seem to complain about the taste.

In fact, you complimented his attempts, claiming that he's gotten better now that he started following actual recipes instead of freestyling. The positive feedback makes Chrollo happy, but his smiling eyes turn into cautious ones when he sees you grab your drink to take a sip.

He watches the drink go down your throat, and how you immediately after lean forward with your face resting on your hands.

The sound of the TV turns into background noise when he later gets up to clear the table. He can feel your eyes on him but the gaze isn't malicious or watchful. It's rather affectionate. Chrollo tries not to dwell on that too long, but his attempt is of no use. You call his name, hands making grabbing motions to gesture to him to come to you.

The feeling of your warm palms on his cheeks causes him to blink at you in question, but you continue smiling. Your next words, however, throw Chrollo off.

"Your eyes are beautiful."

His replies are silenced, you seemingly not done with what you have to say.

"They're big and innocent. I could stare into them all day and still want to look at them more."

Your thumbs brush his cheeks, and his eyes curiously stare back into yours.

"Such beautiful eyes but there's still a bit of… melancholy behind them. I… want to erase that sadness. I want… to see a day when this sadness behind them doesn't exist anymore."

Something changes in your eyes, and Chrollo can't pinpoint whether it's from the drink or your emotions.

"I want to make you happy again, erase whatever cruelties happened to you."

Your eyelids get heavy. The sight added with your words stirs a number of emotions in Chrollo's chest, but he remains quiet even as your words become confused and your hold on his face loosens.

"It's… I don't…"

Brows furrow as you try to understand what's happening but your words simply slur together.

"Cho… llo…"

The hands that were tenderly holding his face fall and he watches consciousness slowly slither away from you.

"Light… head…"

A loud thunk accompanies the fall of your head to the table. The static of the TV starts to make his ears ring, but it does grant him a moment of clarity to realise that his vision is blurry. The tears responsible are blinked away and as they run down his cheeks, Chrollo realises that his cheeks were already wet.

He stares at the wetness on your palms and then at your unconscious form. It's done.

The home has been destroyed.

Yandere Alphabet w/ Chrollo Lucilfer

Affection — how do they show their love and affection?

He lets you go outside and take you wherever you want. He will always be by your side with his arm or hand on you.

Blood — how messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

Very messy. If anyone disrespects you or touches you (besides troupe members) he will either send the troupe to kill them or go after them himself. And it won't be quick it will be long and painful.

Cruelty — how would they treat their darling once abducted?

He would isolate you from the outside world an the only people you can see is him and the troupe. He is a bit condescending but he cares for you <3

Darling — aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

He tries not to but he would. He would invade your space even if you told him off. He would forcefully kiss you, I can kinda see himself forcing himself on you but h really wouldn't want to.

Exposed — how vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

Not vulnerable. No matter how long you've been together you will never see him open up. He may show you 'sympathy' when your crying or felling down.

Fight — how would they feel if their darling fought back?

He wouldn't like it at all. He wants you to submit to him so you fighting back against him is upsetting. He grows angry and upset but doesn't show it. He'll just have to chain you up to the bed <3

Game — is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

It's not a game to him. He loves you in his own special way so you trying to escape upsets him. But it's not like you have many chances to escape since he watches you whenever he can or one of the troupe members.

Hell — what would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

When you pushed him over the edge and he hurt you. He chained you up so you couldn't move and blind folded you and plugged your ears so you couldn't hear or see what was happening around you. He left you there for a couple days and then came back to check on you. You didn't do whatever you did to upset him after that.

Ideals — what kind of future do they have in mind for their darling?

You, him, and the troupe being together as a big family. Somewhere where you have everything and no one can touch you.

Jealousy — do they get jealous? How do they handle it?

He's not so much jealous just possessive. Someone is talking to you that's cool, he's just gonna walk behind you and wrap an arm around your waist and give a friendly glare to them.

Kisses — how do they act around or with their darling?

He's loving in private and most of the time in public. He usually will have you sit on his lap while he reads. Whispers dirty or sweet things in your ear no matter where or who your with. But sometimes when he has to he can be a little harsh and condescending.

Love letters — how would they go about approaching their darling?

Try the normal way like taking you on dates and stuff. If that doesn't work he's gonna break into your home in the middle of the night and take you. He'll bring some of your stuff so you don't feel too lonely of!

Mask — are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

A little yeah. Around som people he can be more harsh and cold. Like with the troupe he cares deeply for and has a soft side but doesn't show it too much. But with you he shows it more and is much more nicer if you behave well.

Naughty — how would they punish their darling?

Isolation and stripping you of your senses. Nothing worse than not having anyone to talk to and not being able to see, hear, or move. On top of that not being able to eat or drink. Also in isolation you would be on the complete dark and it will be freezing cold with nothing to warm yourself.

Oppression — how many rights would they take away from their darling?

Most of your rights. I mean it's not like you need them.

Patience — how patient are they with their darling?

He's pretty patient. He understands that you may be distressed and scared. He'll give you as much time as you need to warm up to him.

Quite — if their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

If darling dies he'll shed a tear and tear a city up like he did with Uvo. He will be upset I mean he's the leader of the phantom troupe how could he let this happen? If they leave/escape he'll search for you with the troupe's help and you it won't be pretty for you if they find you.

Regret — would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling?

No. Why would he feel bad?

Stigma — what brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

I can't really say 😭 It could be childhood considering it wasn't good but I don't want to say it was that. I wanna say its because in his eyes if he wants something he's going to take it. (God Chrollo why do you have to be so complex)

Tears — how do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

He doesn't want to hear you scream at him or yell and fight back. He would hate for you to isolate yourself but it wouldn't really work because he'll just force himself in your space.

Unique — would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

Well he isn't near you 24/7 because of troupe business and doesn't show his obsession but don't be fooled your always on his mind.

Vice — what weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

The fact y'all don't stay in the same place long and Chrollo can get really busy. But someone in the troupe is watching over you when possible so 🤷🏻‍♀️

Wit’s end — would they ever hurt their darling?

Yes. If you didn't listen to him or fighting back against him and the troupe or disrespecting the troupe.

Xoanon — how much would they revere or worship their darling?

He doesn't so much worship you but he does think of you highly. Out of everyone he choose you because you were better than the rest.

Yearn — how long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

If you catch his eye then he'll take you. It may take 2 weeks or 2 days but if he wants you he's going to have you.

Zenith — would they ever break their darling?

He probably would but he wouldn't enjoy it. He wished you were compliant on your own and you still kept your shine but if push comes to shove then he has no choice.

I'm not gonna lie I was struggling with this lmao. Like for me he's complicated to write and so he might be ooc but I tried 😭