I Don't Think You Understand (i'm Pretty Sure You Do But Please, Allow Me) How Important It Is To Me

i don't think you understand (i'm pretty sure you do but please, allow me) how important it is to me to see caleb getting more and more angry, almost shouting, swearing when talking about trent.

for the person who's emotions usually make him shut down, either from overstimulation or being overwhelmed with trauma; for the person who run away from those who wronged him for a long time; for the person who always allowed the others to make of him and do with him what they wanted quite rarely making his true feelings about certain actions be known.

for this person to go yes, i want him dead. and then he ruined my life. and then, visibly worked up he took my life away. to then yell in genuine anger and i fucking helped.

it means so fucking much to me, so much — caleb confronting his past that affects the position he is in right now and does so audibly, in front of everyone. but the thing is, he now trusts these people, more than he ever trusted anyone ever since he acted upon trent's siccing. he is comfortable with these people enough that after an incredibly emotional meeting with astrid he was loud in his distress.

he was loud enough about the fact that he killed his parents. that he wanted to kill them. that he despises the very fact that he had been stupid enough in his teenage susceptibility that be acted upon his very will and that will never leave him.

because caduceus can talk about destiny and the great destinations of the paths that they all are on. beau could have told him, at the very beginning of their journey together, that he should fix it so that it won't happen for others, and caduceus later on would have repeated the sentiment in a much gentler way.

but fjord tried much gingerly before but finally asked upfront if trent was tied to a chair powerless what would you do?

but veth said i don't care about other people, i care about you and i want to do what you want to do for youself, not for her [astrid] or any other.

caleb caved in and talked about himself.

and the thing is, it's not that caduceus and beau are wrong and fjord with veth were right. it's not about good or bad and this or that.

it's about the fact that caleb is a victim, too. because trent ruined him too. and coming in terms with being a victim is a hard process and he is still on his very way about it but he is better at it.

and that is why it's so important to me.

Weird horses

A story held in a bard's hands

Few moments, few emotions, few expressions

Julia and her vibe 💖

Reblog this to get absolutely hugged. Just completely snuggled. Totally fucking cuddled.