Wizard Thoughts - Tumblr Posts
Scene from “Slow In The Tide” which lives rent free in my head!
i know Essek had about five seconds of screen time in ep98, but i am more powerful than the fact that my favorite purple wizard is just a background npc. so i've done more Essek expression studies tip jar!
How many times do y’all think they have had the “you don’t actually have to say up”/ “but it’s fun” convo? I think a lot. Bc they’re losers. I love them🥺 happy wip wthursday to all the gays🫶
the premise for this picture was simply 'i want to try using green in my works more' and then there was another shadowgast blanket, and shirt swapping, and it's not even green now… just, take it. imagine essek rolling at disadvantage to perceive his nerd husband
Save me hot boi, save me
I'm back on my bullshit. Aeorian wizard kisses!
I dream of fire
Okay, but, there are very specific rituals that Caleb has adopted over time. There is the Alarm spell he never quite abandons, and he counts out materials and coin on instinct. There are times when Essek is not sure if it is compulsion or habit, and he never finds it in him to bring it up or question it when Caleb seems more at ease.
It is hardly harming anyone if Caleb still sets an alarm across doors, windows, the closet door used to anchor the Tower when he casts it in his cottage for them. For their friends who happily fill his kitchen while he goes about his habits, or poke through his books and trinkets while he pieces things together to keep them all safe.
Those are all expected. Anyone familiar with Caleb knows to expect them.
The ones that no one really expected was the ease with which Caleb plucked a ring from Kingsley, or a gem that he kept close. There were moments when Caleb would be frowning at a book and his components spread out before him, and Kingsley would simply wander over with a smirk and “what did you need?”
The easy encounters had given Essek pause as he considered the way Jester’s offers of components from her own jewelry, or Veth’s from her own pouch, were enough to shock Caleb from his work with a stammered thanks. But Kingsley just had to be nearby for Caleb to seek out pockets, pouches, and freely offered decorations.
“It’s a habit,” Kingsley said with a smirk as he offered a pearl to Essek once Caleb had effectively dismantled a gaudy ring to get to a spare piece of amber he needed. “I never questioned it. Don’t really mind those hands going through my pockets.”
Essek frowned, but accepted the pearl without a second thought. “And you are… comfortable? with this arrangement? Carrying components?”
“You’re fine taking them, aren’t you, hot boy?”
Essek looked over the pearl he had taken without thought. To Caleb’s smirk as he listened to the conversation without breaking the focus on his work. He realized, belatedly, that he had been guilty of the same when he ha been dragged into adventure with the tiefling. A plucked thread, a glass bauble, silver, gold, pearls, copper.
He only realized he was blushing when the tiefling patted his warm cheek with a grin. “Happy to help. You can make it up to me later. You both can. I have so many ideas on how you both can repay my generosity.”
“Do not,” Caleb muttered, “test my concentration, ja?”
i don't think you understand (i'm pretty sure you do but please, allow me) how important it is to me to see caleb getting more and more angry, almost shouting, swearing when talking about trent.
for the person who's emotions usually make him shut down, either from overstimulation or being overwhelmed with trauma; for the person who run away from those who wronged him for a long time; for the person who always allowed the others to make of him and do with him what they wanted quite rarely making his true feelings about certain actions be known.
for this person to go yes, i want him dead. and then he ruined my life. and then, visibly worked up he took my life away. to then yell in genuine anger and i fucking helped.
it means so fucking much to me, so much — caleb confronting his past that affects the position he is in right now and does so audibly, in front of everyone. but the thing is, he now trusts these people, more than he ever trusted anyone ever since he acted upon trent's siccing. he is comfortable with these people enough that after an incredibly emotional meeting with astrid he was loud in his distress.
he was loud enough about the fact that he killed his parents. that he wanted to kill them. that he despises the very fact that he had been stupid enough in his teenage susceptibility that be acted upon his very will and that will never leave him.
because caduceus can talk about destiny and the great destinations of the paths that they all are on. beau could have told him, at the very beginning of their journey together, that he should fix it so that it won't happen for others, and caduceus later on would have repeated the sentiment in a much gentler way.
but fjord tried much gingerly before but finally asked upfront if trent was tied to a chair powerless what would you do?
but veth said i don't care about other people, i care about you and i want to do what you want to do for youself, not for her [astrid] or any other.
caleb caved in and talked about himself.
and the thing is, it's not that caduceus and beau are wrong and fjord with veth were right. it's not about good or bad and this or that.
it's about the fact that caleb is a victim, too. because trent ruined him too. and coming in terms with being a victim is a hard process and he is still on his very way about it but he is better at it.
and that is why it's so important to me.
When there’s only tea to remember…
Hey
Hey hey
Essek had long hair during the echoes of the solstice one shot and we had no idea qwq♡
Caleb gets to come home and brush his fingers through his beloved's hair (!!)
I'm going to cry about that actually
Kaffeepause in the study
Caleb and Essek from Critical Role C2
thinking about him
Help, I'd forgotten how clear Matt makes it that Essek is surprised but also openly touched when Jester takes the time to craft a parasol for his comfort.
It's so clear, in retrospect, how those carefully constructed walls he'd made had begun to tumble all the way down.
a simple little Essek portrait, was playing around with going greyscale > colors again :)
And one day Caleb would be old and Essek would be... Essek.
Redraw in honour of Shadowgast!Home in the latest episode. Original here🌻 Caleb and Essek the love that you have😭
Essek never gave up crime, he just switched from War Criminal to Clothes Thief.
(although, is it really a crime if Caleb definitely permits, enjoys, and encourages it?)