Hi Elle,

Hi Elle,

Did you take any etiquette classes, or red any books about etiquette? If so what did you take away from it? In general what is some basic etiquette everyone should know?

Yes, my mother made my sister and me take etiquette classes when we were growing up, where we learned how to make small talk, use cutlery properly, do the fox trot, and all that. It felt like torture at the time, but now that I'm an adult, I'm incredibly grateful for it. There are countless teachings I believe everyone should know, but I'll keep it simple and list the basics:

Socializing:

Greetings and Introductions:

Initiate Greetings: In formal settings, greeting the host and senior individuals first is polite.

Introduce Yourself with Confidence: When introducing yourself, make eye contact, smile, and offer a firm (but gentle) handshake.

Remember Names: Pay attention to names during introductions, and try to use them in conversation to show attentiveness.

Conversation Etiquette:

Avoid Monopolizing Conversations: Engage in a balanced dialogue exchange; avoid dominating the conversation.

Graceful Interruptions: If you must interrupt, do so politely with a soft “Excuse me” or “May I add…?”

Ending Conversations: Close conversations gracefully, e.g., “It was a pleasure speaking with you,” before moving on to another guest.

Small Talk and Topics:

Safe Topics: Stick to light, neutral topics like travel, the arts, or current (non-controversial) events.

Avoid Over-sharing: Keep personal matters private; maintain an air of mystery and sophistication.

Dining:

Seating Etiquette:

Wait to Be Seated: Wait until the host signals to sit, or until you’re guided to your seat.

Seating Order: If you’re hosting, guide guests to their seats based on seniority or guest of honor status.

Table Manners:

Utensil Use: Start with the outermost utensils and work your way in as the courses progress. After you've cut your food, make sure you move your for to your left hand even if it feels counterintuitive,

Bread and Butter: Tear off a small piece of bread, butter it on your plate, and eat it, rather than buttering the entire slice.

Resting Utensils: When pausing, place utensils on the plate in a “resting” position, such as crossed or angled.

Handling Courses:

Soup Etiquette: Spoon soup away from you and sip from the edge of the spoon without slurping.

Pacing: Match your pace to the host or the most senior individual at the table. Don't rush or lag behind.

Events:

RSVP and Invitations:

Timely Response: Respond to invitations promptly and never bring uninvited guests unless explicitly allowed.

Respect Time: Arrive on time, especially for formal events, but not more than 15 minutes early.

Host and Guest Responsibilities:

Host Etiquette: As a host, introduce guests to each other, especially if they don’t know anyone else.

Guest Behavior: Engage with other guests, but don’t cling to one person for the entire event. Mingle politely.

Handling Alcohol:

Moderation: Drink alcohol in moderation. Know your limits and avoid overindulgence.

Toast Etiquette: Stand if a toast is being made in your honor, and wait to drink until after the toast is given.

Dressing:

Dress Code Adherence:

Understand the Code: Whether it’s black tie, cocktail, or casual, always adhere strictly to the dress code specified on the invitation.

Subtle Elegance: Opt for classic, understated pieces that are elegant but not overly flashy.

Grooming and Accessories:

Impeccable Grooming: Make sure your hair, nails, and makeup are neatly done and appropriate for the occasion.

Minimalist Accessories: Choose simple, elegant accessories that complement but do not overpower your outfit.

maybe a mildly hot take but i think everyone should be well acquainted w rejection. my goal is to put myself in as many situations as possible, even w the knowledge in mind that it might end w me rejected in some form. bc not caring about that leads to so much growth, & the more exposed you are to something, the more desensitized you are to it. i wanna reach a point where i don’t give even the slightest fuck about rejection at ALL bc i know that it had nothing to do w me personally. things just don’t work out sometimes

The reality is you’re going to be eating McDonald’s in a Porsche cayenne. That’s going to be the title of my self-help book lol. Decide what it is you want and then take a look in the mirror. Are you wearing sweatpants right now? You will be wearing sweatpants when you make your first million. You will be wearing sweatpants when you carry your first birkin. You will be wearing sweatpants in your new car. Not much is going to change. You’re not going to suddenly start wearing ball gowns if you’ve never worn ball gowns lol. You’re not going to suddenly start eating clean if you don’t already. If anything, there’s no reason to change if you had what you wanted right now. Don’t make up elaborate stories about your desires- those glow ups come later. Get what you want first.

how i manifested (+revised) my dream body ౨ৎ

This is my first post on my new account, though I am NOT new to the law and NOT new to loablr either. This post is specifically about how I manifested my dream body instantly with no technique besides knowing :)

PART ONE - the old story

In the old story, I was so fixated on my body and my weight all of the time, I was tracking my calories and weighing myself and my food obsessively and constantly gaining and losing weight. Back then, my beliefs were that 1) Excess food causes weight gain, 2) If I don't track my food and weigh myself, I will become too fat/skinny, and 3) There is something wrong with my body, and I need to diet/exercise to fix it.

Noticing these beliefs were key to changing the way I viewed food and my body, and therefore changing how I knew food to effect me and how I knew my body to be.

When I was overweight, I knew my body was too big, I knew I was eating too much, I knew excess calories made me gain weight. When I was underweight, I knew I had no appetite, I knew I was too bony, I knew that exercise makes you gain muscle which is why I had none, etc. I had to identify the limiting beliefs that made me know my body was a certain way.

PART TWO - writing the new story

Once I identified the beliefs that were holding me back and kept me from my goals ("I know I eat too much, even if I affirm I'm skinny, I'm still going to gain weight."), I could then change them. I wrote down a list of these beliefs, like I did above, and came up with reversals. For example;

"I overeat, so I will gain weight" -> "Calories aren't even real, so I can eat whatever I want and stay the same weight."

"I eat junk food, so I'll never be skinny" -> "I love how fast my metabolism is, I can eat junk all day and still stay so skinny." or "Junk food is just like other foods. Raspberries can't make me fat so neither can hamburgers."

"I don't exercise enough to be toned" -> "It's crazy how I'm naturally so toned and fit without trying."

The key for me was changing key beliefs that kept me dieting and exercising to lose weight, to sever the tie between calories consumed and weight, and hours exercising and muscles. These are limiting beliefs. We literally create our reality. Not ice cream, not soda and chips, none of that can overcome YOU as a divine creator. It sounds silly when you spell it out like that, doesn't it?

PART THREE - how i did it

Okay, now we understand that the secret is to change the rules of our own reality to allow us to know a higher truth (my higher truth? I am a skinny legend). So how do we put this into practice?

All you have to do is know. You set these rules, so you know they are true, reality is bound to them. You must know you are successful, know that reality is in the 4d, and feel truly satisfied in that realm. You can do this using whatever method you need to, but personally, I just knew deep within me that I was my ideal weight, and that nothing could change that, that is simply the reality, that is simply the way things are. I thought about old pictures I took of myself, and remembered how skinny I looked in them, I thought about the last time I saw my friends and how much littler they said I'd gotten, I thought about the last time I stood on the scale and how it read the exact weight I knew myself to be. And I just knew, deep within me, that was simply how things were.

And the last step, for me, was to feel truly joyful at this realization. To feel satisfied it came into fruition. Without seeking confirmation, because I already KNEW.

And what do you know? Pictures of myself in my phone from weeks ago, they were my ideal body. The girl I saw in the mirror when I stood up from my meditation? She had my ideal body. My clothes? XS and S, all of them. I had revised my ideal body all the way back to the day I bought them. And confirmed this by checking pictures I took in the dressing room.

I'm telling you right now it is possible if you know in your heart you've always had your desire. It's always been fulfilled within you. You make the rules because you are a divine creator. Nothing outside of you can change what you know to be true.

That's all for now ౨ৎ

One socialite said to do a friend audit. If ladies are not ahead of where they were last year at least in one thing dump then before they back stab you as they will get jealous of you from being stagnant. Quality fresh water moves but stagnant water rots until it becomes a swamp.

If you have a beautiful female friend who is happy in her relationships and growth mindset like you … keep her. Watch out that she is stagnating in an area she might not be telling you about and back stabbing you.

“Men come and go but friends are forever” = I am physically unattractive in person. Too many beautiful ladies I know their husband is their best friend and their confident is often their therapist. There is a good reason Ginie Sayles say elite take 5 years to befriend and trust you. Since they have something to lose. New people in town but also back stabbing established losers are fast friends. There is a reason it takes a lot of time to win trustworthy quality friends in person. They are out there but this is not kindergarten, you are not 5 years old, pink unicorns aren’t real and not everyone is your friend.

Part of leveling up is that each time you grow you are going to shed friends like a snake shedding skin. A spouse is more likely to stay friends than girlfriends if you are both pretty and on a level up journey because those not on the same journey will have scarcity mindset and get jealous. You hold a mirror to the laziness of lazies so they would rather break the mirror than put the effort in hustling.

In my life my female friends change over time mostly because they get a job offer or their spouse does in another country or city and people are very mobile these days. A husband is a friend obligated to stay with me as we move to different places or stay in the same city together.

If you have a good female friend that past the test of time hold on to it as it’s precious. Most people around us are acquaintances not friends, kindergarten is over. Once you start having relationship goals and finished high school most ladies are not your friends but competition or network. Suddenly people measure each other and themselves so adult friendship is different than childhood friendship. People who mistake the two get hurt. You both have to be growing to make adult friendship work.

If you are leveling up from ugly to pretty watch all the friends not on the same journey and those not advancing stab you in the back. Ladies who don’t have an abundance mindset are lethal to your level up journey and don’t let clappers gaslight you out of how hard it is to find a trustworthy female friend if you are beautiful. The expression “it’s lonely at the top” exists for a reason.

Once a year do a friend audit. I didn’t and got stabbed in the back by ladies stagnating on their level up journey and I made excuses for them and was too lienient so they bit me. Don’t be like me and be ruthless about auditing your friends once a year.

Overcoming a tragedy counts as getting ahead. Each year they should have achieved something or are better off some how than the previous one or grew. Growth mindset people are not envious. Stagnant people are.

Credit: Maria Al Massani

Beauty is a currency for women, but you need to be spending it in the right places. It also can’t be the only thing you leverage. It needs to come with charm, wit, intelligence, poise, and allure. And this isn’t just about romance, it’s about every facet of life; careers, networking, friendships, eventual connections. Things don’t just “happen” to beautiful women. Most beautiful women cultivate other areas which draw others in. There are plenty of beautiful women who lean solely on being pretty, and others tire of them quickly.