I Want To Live By Myself When I Move Out Of My Parent's Place But I'm Really Afraid Of Money Problems?

I want to live by myself when I move out of my parent's place but I'm really afraid of money problems? I'm afraid that the only place I can afford will be in the ghetto and it'll all be torn apart and I'll only be allowed to eat one granola bar a week. I'm really stressing out about this. I don't know anything about after school life. I don't know anything about paying bills or how to buy an apartment and it's really scaring me. is there anything you know that can help me?

HI darling,

I’ve actually got a super wonderful masterpost for you to check out:

Home

what the hell is a mortgage?

first apartment essentials checklist

how to care for cacti and succulents

the care and keeping of plants

Getting an apartment

Money

earn rewards by taking polls

how to coupon

what to do when you can’t pay your bills

see if you’re paying too much for your cell phone bill

how to save money

How to Balance a Check Book

How to do Your Own Taxes

Health

how to take care of yourself when you’re sick

things to bring to a doctor’s appointment

how to get free therapy

what to expect from your first gynecologist appointment

how to make a doctor’s appointment

how to pick a health insurance plan

how to avoid a hangover

a list of stress relievers

how to remove a splinter

Emergency

what to do if you get pulled over by a cop

a list of hotlines in a crisis

things to keep in your car in case of an emergency

how to do the heimlich maneuver

Job

time management

create a resume

find the right career

how to pick a major

how to avoid a hangover

how to interview for a job

how to stop procrastinating

How to write cover letters

Travel

ULTIMATE PACKING LIST

Traveling for Cheap

Travel Accessories

The Best Way to Pack a Suitcase

How To Read A Map

How to Apply For A Passport

How to Make A Travel Budget

Better You

read the news

leave your childhood traumas behind

how to quit smoking

how to knit

how to stop biting your nails

how to stop procrastinating

how to stop skipping breakfast

how to stop micromanaging

how to stop avoiding asking for help

how to stop swearing constantly

how to stop being a pushover

learn another language

how to improve your self-esteem

how to sew

learn how to embroider

how to love yourself

100 tips for life

Apartments/Houses/Moving

Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 1: Are You Sure? (The Responsible One)

Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 2: Finding the Damn Apartment (The Responsible One)

Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 3: Questions to Ask about the Damn Apartment (The Responsible One)

Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 4: Packing and Moving All of Your Shit (The Responsible One)

How to Protect Your Home Against Break-Ins (The Responsible One)

Education

How to Find a Fucking College (The Sudden Adult)

How to Find Some Fucking Money for College (The Sudden Adult)

What to Do When You Can’t Afford Your #1 Post-Secondary School (The Sudden Adult)

Stop Shitting on Community College Kids (Why Community College is Fucking Awesome) (The Responsible One)

How to Ask for a Recommendation Letter (The Responsible One)

How to Choose a College Major (The Sudden Adult)

Finances

How to Write a Goddamn Check (The Responsible One)

How to Convince Credit Companies You’re Not a Worthless Bag of Shit (The Responsible One)

Debit vs Credit (The Responsible One)

What to Do if Your Wallet is Stolen/Lost (The Sudden Adult)

Budgeting 101 (The Responsible One)

Important Tax Links to Know (The Responsible One)

How to Choose a Bank Without Screwing Yourself (The Responsible One)

Job Hunting

How to Write a Resume Like a Boss (The Responsible One)

How to Write a Cover Letter Someone Will Actually Read (The Responsible One)

How to Handle a Phone Interview without Fucking Up (The Responsible One)

10 Sites to Start Your Job Search (The Responsible One)

Life Skills

Staying in Touch with Friends/Family (The Sudden Adult)

Bar Etiquette (The Sudden Adult)

What to Do After a Car Accident (The Sudden Adult)

Grow Up and Buy Your Own Groceries (The Responsible One)

How to Survive Plane Trips (The Sudden Adult)

How to Make a List of Goals (The Responsible One)

How to Stop Whining and Make a Damn Appointment (The Responsible One)

Miscellaneous

What to Expect from the Hell that is Jury Duty (The Responsible One)

Relationships

Marriage: What the Fuck Does It Mean and How the Hell Do I Know When I’m Ready? (Guest post - The Northwest Adult)

How Fucked Are You for Moving In with Your Significant Other: An Interview with an Actual Real-Life Couple Living Together™ (mintypineapple  and catastrofries)

Travel & Vehicles

How to Winterize Your Piece of Shit Vehicle (The Responsible One)

How to Make Public Transportation Your Bitch (The Responsible One)

Other Blog Features

Apps for Asshats

Harsh Truths & Bitter Reminders

Asks I’ll Probably Need to Refer People to Later

Apartments (or Life Skills) - How Not to Live in Filth (The Sudden Adult)

Finances - Tax Basics (The Responsible One)

Important Documents - How to Get a Copy of Your Birth Certificate (The Responsible One)

Important Documents - How to Get a Replacement ID (The Responsible One)

Health - How to Deal with a Chemical Burn (The Responsible One)

Job Hunting - List of Jobs Based on Social Interaction Levels (The Sudden Adult)

Job Hunting - How to Avoid Falling into a Pit of Despair While Job Hunting (The Responsible One)

Job Hunting - Questions to Ask in an Interview (The Responsible One)

Life Skills - First-Time Flying Tips (The Sudden Adult)

Life Skills - How to Ask a Good Question (The Responsible One)

Life Skills - Reasons to Take a Foreign Language (The Responsible One)

Life Skills - Opening a Bar Tab (The Sudden Adult)

Relationships - Long Distance Relationships: How to Stay in Contact (The Responsible One)

Adult Cheat Sheet:

what to do if your pet gets lost

removing stains from your carpet

how to know if you’re eligible for food stamps

throwing a dinner party

i’m pregnant, now what?

first aid tools to keep in your house

how to keep a clean kitchen

learning how to become independent from your parents

job interview tips

opening your first bank account

what to do if you lose your wallet

tips for cheap furniture

easy ways to cut your spending

selecting the right tires for your car

taking out your first loan

picking out the right credit card

how to get out of parking tickets

how to fix a leaky faucet

get all of your news in one place

getting rid of mice & rats in your house

when to go to the e.r.

buying your first home

how to buy your first stocks

guide to brewing coffee

first apartment essentials checklist

coping with a job you hate

30 books to read before you’re 30

what’s the deal with retirement?

difference between insurances

Once you’ve looked over all those cool links, I have some general advice for you on how you can have some sort of support system going for you:

Reasons to move out of home

You may decide to leave home for many different reasons, including:

wishing to live independently

location difficulties – for example, the need to move closer to university

conflict with your parents

being asked to leave by your parents.

Issues to consider when moving out of home

It’s common to be a little unsure when you make a decision like leaving home. You may choose to move, but find that you face problems you didn’t anticipate, such as:

Unreadiness – you may find you are not quite ready to handle all the responsibilities.

Money worries – bills including rent, utilities like gas and electricity and the cost of groceries may catch you by surprise, especially if you are used to your parents providing for everything. Debt may become an issue.

Flatmate problems – issues such as paying bills on time, sharing housework equally, friends who never pay board, but stay anyway, and lifestyle incompatibilities (such as a non-drug-user flatting with a drug user) may result in hostilities and arguments.

Your parents may be worried

Think about how your parents may be feeling and talk with them if they are worried about you. Most parents want their children to be happy and independent, but they might be concerned about a lot of different things. For example:

They may worry that you are not ready.

They may be sad because they will miss you.

They may think you shouldn’t leave home until you are married or have bought a house.

They may be concerned about the people you have chosen to live with.

Reassure your parents that you will keep in touch and visit regularly. Try to leave on a positive note. Hopefully, they are happy about your plans and support your decision.

Tips for a successful move

Tips include:

Don’t make a rash decision – consider the situation carefully. Are you ready to live independently? Do you make enough money to support yourself? Are you moving out for the right reasons?

Draw up a realistic budget – don’t forget to include ‘hidden’ expenses such as the property’s security deposit or bond (usually four weeks’ rent), connection fees for utilities, and home and contents insurance.

Communicate – avoid misunderstandings, hostilities and arguments by talking openly and respectfully about your concerns with flatmates and parents. Make sure you’re open to their point of view too – getting along is a two-way street.

Keep in touch – talk to your parents about regular home visits: for example, having Sunday night dinner together every week.

Work out acceptable behaviour – if your parents don’t like your flatmate(s), find out why. It is usually the behaviour rather than the person that causes offence (for example, swearing or smoking). Out of respect for your parents, ask your flatmate(s) to be on their best behaviour when your parents visit and do the same for them.

Ask for help – if things are becoming difficult, don’t be too proud to ask your parents for help. They have a lot of life experience.

If your family home does not provide support

Not everyone who leaves home can return home or ask their parents for help in times of trouble. If you have been thrown out of home or left home to escape abuse or conflict, you may be too young or unprepared to cope.

If you are a fostered child, you will have to leave the state-care system when you turn 18, but you may not be ready to make the sudden transition to independence.

If you need support, help is available from a range of community and government organisations. Assistance includes emergency accommodation and food vouchers. If you can’t call your parents or foster parents, call one of the associations below for information, advice and assistance.

Where to get help

Your doctor

Kids Helpline Tel. 1800 55 1800

Lifeline Tel. 13 11 44

Home Ground Services Tel. 1800 048 325

Relationships Australia Tel. 1300 364 277

Centrelink Crisis or Special Help Tel. 13 28 50

Tenants Union of Victoria Tel. (03) 9416 2577

Things to remember

Try to solve any problems before you leave home. Don’t leave because of a fight or other family difficulty if you can possibly avoid it.

Draw up a realistic budget that includes ‘hidden’ expenses, such as bond, connection fees for utilities, and home and contents insurance.

Remember that you can get help from a range of community and government organizations. 

(source)

Keep me updated? xx

Queen Of Perfume

Choosing your own perfume

This is obviously a highly private choice, so I would recommend to try and try and try perfumes at the shop. Try them, go every week at the perfume shop to try two perfumes, one on each wirst. Keep on trying until you find a perfume that makes you never want to find another one. It just clicks, you just KNOW it it's the right one.

Smell the test perfumes 5 min after spray, 15 minutes, 1 hours then 4 hours.

Do NOT wear any other perfume if you test new ones, as it may layer and give you the wrong impression

Some perfumes might smell AMAZING on the paper tester, but smell awful on you. That's very much possible, perfume's aroma is highly dependent on the body chemistry

Some perfumes fit better a season sadly, so be prepared to the possibility your perfume might fit you a few months out the year.

Once you've chosen your perfume, the price might be highly expensive but keep in mind you're creating your signature brand. The brain has a strong association to smells and one will remember you dearly if they smell your perfume again. Again, you use so little at a time.

Do not diss the cheaper perfumes! Again, with body chemistry, it influences how the perfume will smell on you and a okayish perfume on the paper might smell SUBLIME on you. My own perfume cost 40$ but it smells incredible on me and I always get compliments on it.

The trend those times is single smell perfumes, those that only have one aroma in it. Personnally I find those really curious but they're not my favourite but I still encourage you to try them out. Your body might make those perfumes exquisite.

ASK for samplers!! The shop ladies probably have a million of samplers. Went to a shop, they had 3 drawers FULL of samplers. A treasure for experiment!

If a perfume gives you headarche or nausea or plainly you dislike it, it's not a good one. Shalimar smelt AMAZING on the paper sampler but on me it smelt like cigarettes so much I had to wash it off.

To find similar perfumes to one you did like, check out the .. It gives the notes, the perfume family, reviews etc...

Wearing perfume

Go at tiny amounts at a time. Always. You don't want to be THAT person that smells so much perfume it stinks. Add on more if needed. It is hard to remove but easy to add.

Always ALWAYS use soaps, shampoos and creams that are very low smell, have a similar perfume family as your perfume (let's say I wear a summery coconut-ish monoi perfume, I wouldn't be buying stuff that has fresh laundry smell, per example.). Personally I don't want to do any faux pas, and I go for smell-free hygiene stuff so my perfume isn't challenged or wronged.

DO NOT SPRAY ON CLOTHES. Always on skin. Some perfumes stay permanently on fabric so it's important to be careful.

Exfoliate your skin, make sure your basic body hygiene is up to point. Scrub out the armpits then add Deo almost asap after the shower. Scrub your feets, intimates, rinse it thoroughly. Pat dry your skin. You want a nice foundation for a perfume masterpiece.

If you're about to have sex, spray a minuscule amount at the areas he might put his nose on. Lower belly, nape of neck, etc. Do not put ANY where he might lick. Some perfumes taste AWFUL.

Spread some Vaseline on the areas you're about to spray, so it lasts all day.

DO NOT DO THE PERFUME CLOUD N'WALK, it wastes a stupid amount of perfume. Instead just spray on the wirsts then dab on the neck. That way, less waste and the perfume won't dissipate so fast.

Body mists go away SO fast so you have to reapply a few times a day. Perfumes only once a day. Some are so strong it still persists for two or three days on skin.

Do not hesitate to ask feedback from family, friends and partners. They're your best allies for choosing the right perfume.

Men's favourite scents are vanilla, fruity/sugary scents, lily of the valley. But again, if you LOVE one perfume and most ppl say it's amazing and it doesn't contains those scents, don't dismiss just because of that.

Confidence is the best buddy to perfume. A uncomfortable gal makes a perfume smell meh, but on a QUEEN a perfume might smell incredible... Keep your head high and carry on.

For younger women interested in hypergamy:

Hypergamy (noun): the action of marrying a person of a superior caste or class.

Hypergamy, in it’s simplest form, is marrying “up” in term of socioeconomic class.

The easiest way to do this — to climb the social ladder to put yourself in position to marry up — is to go to a 4-year college. This would be an Ivy League institution, a liberal arts college in the northeast (where most legacy students come from old money), or a large research institution. For ladies outside of the US, this would be the top-rank school in your countries.

If you’re past college age or aren’t planning to go to school, you can still take the advice below! There are plenty of successful, hypergamous women who did not go to school.

However, this advice is coming from my perspective.

I am a Black American woman, born and raised by a single mother. I lived in poverty most of my life, but — I went to great schools and this opened up my world. In school, I gained the cultural and social capital that has put me on the path I am on today. I have a looong way to go still, but I am happy and what I would consider financially successful (considering my age).

Here are some ways you can start your hypergamous journey. You can do all of these things, even with limited financial resources. These tips come from a mix of what I did and what I wish I had done.

Network, network, network — Make friends! Build authentic connections early on. Always be polite and never be shy. If you’re in a room, you belong there. I don’t recommend befriending people solely because they are afluent, but it doesn’t hurt to have these friendships. If nothing else, you will learn from their mannerisms and attitudes. Also, network with your professors and alumni. You never know who can make an introduction for you to land the perfect internship, job opportunity, or other relationship.

Take pride in your apearance — This is a great time to begin caring for your appearance, if you haven’t already. Most young women have fast metabolisms and don’t have to “watch” what they eat. Definitely have fun and live life, but being younger (under 25) is a great time to start building life-long healthy habits. Excercise. Take a course or read a book on nutrition. Your metabolism will eventually slow down and life will get busier; lay the groundwork now. Learn about hair, makeup, and fashion. Wear what suits you. Trends are fun; don’t be afraid to dabble in them if you wish, but know that few trends ever become classics. If you want a polished look, find classic, timeless beauties who look like you and borrow from them. How do they style their hair? Do their make up? What clothes flatter them? Take what you like and adapt it for your style. You don’t have to dress like you’re 55 at 22. You can look beautiful and classy at any age. Pay attention to detail. I recommend always having your nails painted and your hair done, at a minimum. This could be a nude polish and a sleek bun. Even on the causal days, look put together. High value men do notice the details.

Join a Greek life organization — This varies by school and by organization, but overall, Greek life is a great move if you want to date up. Most people in these organizations are legacy students — their parents, grandparents, and even great grandparents were members of these organizations, too. Typically, members will look out for each other on the job market. Sometimes just seeing your letters on your resume is enough to get the interview, and sometimes the job. You’ll rub shoulders with a higher class of people just by joining, especially if you don’t come from that world. Some people view this as paying for friends. I view it as an investment for your future. College is usually just 4 short years. After that, you have the rest of your life to live. Being a member of a Greek organization can benefit you for the rest of your life.

Continue to learn — Hypergamous women are smart women. Most high caliber men enjoy the company of a smart woman — not a smart ass. Read that again. I would recommend: reading the newspaper (politics and business sections, especially), other leisure reading, and learning a new language. You do not need to be in school to learn. Never stop learning. Have a passion for life and growth. Push yourself to get better each year. Try new hobbies and don’t be afraid to suck at something.

Hobbies of the elite — Now, this may be more difficult due to limited financial resources, but this could be where your network comes in to save you (so don’t forget to network). A few hobbies that the elite enjoy are: travel, skiing, sailing, golf, and fine dining. If you already gravitate towards one of these, pick up that hobby. Or maybe you want to learn more about one. This short list is not inclusive and there are other hobbies that could be becoming of a young hypergamous woman (like painting). Never do something you dislike to impress others, but also never be afraid to try something new. You can travel on a budget and have amazing experiences. Travel makes you more interesting; you’ll have more stories to share and it’ll show how cultured you are. Skiing, sailing, and golf are all sports. Typically, you do these activities with others. Fine dining I put on the list because for some, it is a hobby. It’s more about the dining experience than it is about the food (though the food is always amazing). Take an etiquette class and learn how to properly dine at upscale establishments. Do you know which side your drink goes on and which side your bread dish goes on? How do you pass the salt to someone on on the other side of the table? When wine is ordered, who tastes it first? When can you start eating your food if you’re in a party of 5 people? If you don’t know the answers to these questions, you need to learn more about dining etiquette. There’s also the complexities of American and European dining (and yes they are different). I took a free elective course on this in college. There’s also Youtubers who can help you learn and free articles online.

I hope this helps! Take what you need and leave the rest. ❣️

Ala Presents: Niche Hobbies to Incorporate Into Your Level-Up Journey

But first - why?

I have always been a firm believer that keeping yourself busy, through learning something new, is the most productive use of your time. Think about it; you spend your time learning a new skill or hobby that could be used as a talking point, a way to open up more opportunities for you, a way to keep you active and allow you to meet like-minded people. Sounds like a win-win deal to me. Therefore, I highly suggest that you incorporate a new hobby into your level up journey.

Okay, onto the Hobbies:

Work towards a sommelier license/diploma. This is very niche - only 264 people have passed the Master Sommelier exams since its creation over 50 years ago. If you have keen senses and a love for wine then go for it.

Start taking golfing lessons.

Learn how to design and make jewellery.

Earn a beautician’s license: learn how to apply acrylic nails, do lash extensions, thread eyebrows apply spray tan etc - you’ll be surprised how many women would love a friend who can help beautify them and it could be a viable side business.

Learn how to mix cocktails and bartend.

Learn to play the harp (or if you want to be really niche try the Korean gayageum).

Take up horse-riding lessons.

Learn how to ski (or snowboard).

Pick up chess or the many different variations from around the world (I learned how to play Mahjong - great talking point).

Learn how to play poker/black jack.

Learn how to tailor clothing.

Learn how to restore vintage handbags. Now this one really interests me - I can spend hours watching it on YouTube. 

Learn an ancient or niche language i.e Latin, Xhosa, Hebrew.

Learn perfumery: the process of making perfume scents and pairing of scents.

Learn how to garden.

Learn how to cook food from another culture (my mother and I learned how to cook a myriad of Filipino and Pakistani dishes a few years ago).

Learn ballroom dancing or ballet (side note: congratulations to Oti on winning Strictly two years in a row!).

Bird-watch and learn how to handle birds.

(hey black girls) Learn how to do hair and make wigs.

Take yachting/sailing lessons.

I could go on forever but this just shows the range and unlimited amount of hobbies to choose from - some cost nothing others can be quite expensive. I like to push the “invest in yourself” message but make sure you are living within your means.

- ala 👸🏿

A little tip for makeup

Ok hear me out, YouTube makeup is not for everyday and most of it doesn't look good in real life

As well as the fact that most beauty influencers use too much of the product which will lead you to use a lot as well which will make you buy more products in the long run

In my spare time I love to watch makeup artists doing makeup for runway models, you'll probably notice they never go full on Vincent van Gogh and paint all over the faces of their models.

They use small brushes and cover what's necessary with foundation and concealer. There is use of powders to finish the look and make it look uniform and soft.

My sister and I have a little joke we always say

" Never trust an influencer with a discount code "

Because at times they will use different products or too much of a product and lie to your face as to them they are worrying about how many of you use their code so they earn their keep.

In general, YouTube makeup is a big industry which depends on your desire to consume "the next big thing" and basically to sum up my point, they don't have your best interest in mind.

So now, where do we move on from that.

It's better to save up and buy good quality makeup brushes as those along with a good technique can make a drug store product look amazing on you.

As a person who has been doing art since they were a kid I can definitely say that 'the type of brush you use matters' is a phrase that is not limited to the painting world.

Sit with yourself and look at your face and go from there, find your own blush area, find your own look !

My makeup routine

On a normal day I moisturise my skin and apply a pressed powder. If I want to conceal any spots I use very small amounts of the Juvias Place stick foundation and concealer and go in with a contour stick lightly around my face.

I use a brown lip liner and go with a nude pink lipstick and blend it in on my lips till it looks almost natural.

I use a dip brow pomade to fill in my non existent eyebrows (😔) and I comb them with a clear mascara but remember I don't change my eyebrow shape or go overboard with it because the goal is natural but slightly enhanced.

The only thing unnatural about my makeup is my eyeliner, I have big upturned eyes so I tightline my eyes with a black pencil eyeliner and make a wing with liquid eyeliner and to finish the look I put on some black mascara to my lashes and use a blush stick around my eye-cheek area.

In all these I use small soft brushes I have collected from around the world

When I'm done I almost literally baptise myself in setting spray 😂.

That's it!

Keep in mind my makeup routine is for me, I'm pretty small in frame with a big head and big eyes so I go with the natural doll look, I'll link a video for makeup for the kibbe body types

I'm still figuring out the world of fake lashes but I'm yet to find success with my eye shape 😂

Here are some videos are like

💗

A little tip for makeup

Ok hear me out, YouTube makeup is not for everyday and most of it doesn't look good in real life

As well as the fact that most beauty influencers use too much of the product which will lead you to use a lot as well which will make you buy more products in the long run

In my spare time I love to watch makeup artists doing makeup for runway models, you'll probably notice they never go full on Vincent van Gogh and paint all over the faces of their models.

They use small brushes and cover what's necessary with foundation and concealer. There is use of powders to finish the look and make it look uniform and soft.

My sister and I have a little joke we always say

" Never trust an influencer with a discount code "

Because at times they will use different products or too much of a product and lie to your face as to them they are worrying about how many of you use their code so they earn their keep.

In general, YouTube makeup is a big industry which depends on your desire to consume "the next big thing" and basically to sum up my point, they don't have your best interest in mind.

So now, where do we move on from that.

It's better to save up and buy good quality makeup brushes as those along with a good technique can make a drug store product look amazing on you.

As a person who has been doing art since they were a kid I can definitely say that 'the type of brush you use matters' is a phrase that is not limited to the painting world.

Sit with yourself and look at your face and go from there, find your own blush area, find your own look !

My makeup routine

On a normal day I moisturise my skin and apply a pressed powder. If I want to conceal any spots I use very small amounts of the Juvias Place stick foundation and concealer and go in with a contour stick lightly around my face.

I use a brown lip liner and go with a nude pink lipstick and blend it in on my lips till it looks almost natural.

I use a dip brow pomade to fill in my non existent eyebrows (😔) and I comb them with a clear mascara but remember I don't change my eyebrow shape or go overboard with it because the goal is natural but slightly enhanced.

The only thing unnatural about my makeup is my eyeliner, I have big upturned eyes so I tightline my eyes with a black pencil eyeliner and make a wing with liquid eyeliner and to finish the look I put on some black mascara to my lashes and use a blush stick around my eye-cheek area.

In all these I use small soft brushes I have collected from around the world

When I'm done I almost literally baptise myself in setting spray 😂.

That's it!

Keep in mind my makeup routine is for me, I'm pretty small in frame with a big head and big eyes so I go with the natural doll look, I'll link a video for makeup for the kibbe body types

I'm still figuring out the world of fake lashes but I'm yet to find success with my eye shape 😂

Here are some videos are like

💗