PLEASE BE CAREFUL FOR ANYONE WHO USESBLUEBUFFALO FOR THEIR DOGS!!

PLEASE BE CAREFUL FOR ANYONE WHO USES “BLUEBUFFALO” FOR THEIR DOGS!!

fuck your zodiac sign do u start counting with your thumb, index, or pinky

in conjunction with my childhood friends adaine and fabian i also want to propose childhood besties kristen and riz. sklonda is panicking, looking for somewhere to keep riz for the day because she works and penny can’t watch him and so she stumbles upon a summer camp. and she’s exhausted and doesn’t read it twice and sends riz to a helioic summer camp. and then this small 10-and-change goblin shows up, backpack and button up and khaki shorts. and he has dozens of eyes on him and there are men in masks and he’s very, very scared.

and then recently chosen kristen applebees walks up and extends a hand. because yeah, he might look scary, but helio loves everyone and this is a person! and his eyes are large and gold like the sun or big ears of corn and so he obviously has to be blessed by helio. and suddenly riz and kristen are best friends. inseparable. riz eats her brussel sprouts and keeps her from tripping over her feet and kristen is his second best friend. riz shows her the world and helps her realize that her religion isn’t what she thought it was. riz who holds her hands when she starts to have sinful thoughts. riz, who kristen kissed at 11, just to see what it was like. riz, who kristen kissed at 18, because she needed to see if there was something wrong with her (and there wasn’t–kristen was just very much a lesbian in denial). 

kristen, who would sit up on the phone to talk riz out of his spirals. who drove him around because the gukgaks could’t afford another car and her mini van was way too big for one. riz, who fit into bricker and cork’s old t-ball shirts. riz, who bandages kristen’s fingers when she bites her nails too close to the quick. riz, who lets kristen tie his ties even though he knows she’s going to do it poorly because kristen looks like she was offered the sun when he lets her do it. riz helping kristen with the children at sunday school and guiding a new generation of helioic followers who have had at least one positive interaction with a goblin. coffee ice cream and milkshakes and evening drives. riz getting breakfast at church after not sleeping for days and barely eating. kristen conning the sweet old ladies into giving her extras so riz can take some home to his mom. 

riz holding her hand in the pew, sitting next to the applebees family and squeezing her hand whenever the pastor says something that makes him flinch. kristen aruging that if ragh was allowed to come, to be around dayne and coach daybreak, then riz was allowed to be her friend. kristen fighting and arguing until she’s hoarse. drying tears and messy braids and pinkie promises.

 riz and kristen who were the only couple of different races at their prom. kristen and riz who are fiercely protective over one another because they are the only two who love each other unconditionally. kristen, who is running and running and running; riz, who is digging deeper and deeper and deeper until his hands are bleeding because he will put in the work to make sure that kristen is safe. kristen is happy. because she saved his life at 10 years old and he will make sure that returns the favor.

one (1) person asked me to elaborate so here we go

so it’s a college au! it starts just before they move into their dorm for the freshman year

it’s also fantasy races but no magic! because i don’t want to deal with that sldkhgslkdgh

it is fabian and riz centric with fabriz being the ultimate end goal

the bad kids do NOT know each other to start! our primary friend groups include riz and kristen, as well as fabian, gorgug, adaine, and fig

everyone has so much trauma. thank god Aguefort college has free therapy :)

riz immediately gets hate crimed by ragh, dayne blayde, and fabian

fabian was a bully most of his life but this really stuck with him. he KNOWS he should of stopped something, but he’s afraid of his reputation in the Owlbears, the football fraternity, and less apparent at the start, his fear of being outed as gay

he and adaine are dating (and have been dating for almost three years) because of this 

he and fig both struggle with accepting themselves and are very self-destructive; they end up leaning on each other to vent steam, resulting in a friends with benefit sort of situation

fig, in general, is in that rebellious teenage phase, but falling fast and hard. she’s struggling with addiction of various forms, as well as an eating disorder. she’ll go through periods of “recovery” but will relapse. fabian is afraid that if he brings it up, she’ll cut him off and get more and more reckless without any support system to help her. 

gorgug will also help his friends; he is, out of all of them, the most stable and is a grounding force for a lot of them (but oh boy, even a rock will weather with time :DDDDD )

riz hates fabian’s guts immediately. he reads right through his façade and loathes everything he is and stands for.

riz meets gorgug and fig after getting dunked in a trashcan at lunch and gorgug walks in on him freaking out in the bathroom trying to get a stain out. he offers riz a tidestick he keeps in his pocket for emergencies and leaves before riz can give it back. riz vows to find him and return the favor somehow (hint hint--he does!)

fabian overhears riz and kristen talking and riz talks about being stressed about finances, because while his school is covered he only has a little for food and other expenses, and he also worries about his mom and their bills. fabian decides that this is the PERFECT opportunity to apologize to riz and corners him, essentially threatening him into being his tutor 

riz only accepts because fabian offers him a frankly RIDICULOUS amount of gold

and after the first meeting fabian realizes that riz is not what he thought he was at all. and he starts to fall for riz hard. 

so, he does what anyone would do in the situation--use all his resources to spoil riz. except is it really spoiling if riz actually needs these things? fabian doesn’t think so

and then ya know the conflict about riz believing that fabian only sees him as a charity case to soothe his own ego and fabian worries that riz only hangs around him for the money. 

that’s basically it alskdhklghsd! we explore all the fun dynamics between the friends, people start to get help and learn how to be functional human beings, and fabian gets his kisses in! eventually! 

some fun things just to put them down: everyone gets piercings together, ragh redemption arc, zelda and gorgug are both poly, fabian is a business major (even he isn’t stoked about it)

me making the most complicated and wild euphoria-esque au of the bad kids: these terrible children can fit so many complex relationships built on trauma :)

oh im already mixing up names of the crew,,,oh boy,,,someday i will learn,,,i know their like? faces but names,,,hard

rb this and tell me how many houses/apartments/living spaces you've moved over the years, I'm genuinely curious