Bigboyblue235 - Foodie. Reader. FA. Soft Feedist. Casual Gainer. - Tumblr Blog

Safe and Ethical Feedism Masterpost

Recent events in the feedism community have made me recognise the need for a database compiling all useful resources on practicing this feedism ethically and safely. So I’m making one.

If you are new to feedism or been in the community for a long time, I demand you read this.

Concerning Safety:

- The wonderful @feederwithbighands has some words for you about cybersecurity…

https://feederwithbighands.tumblr.com/post/641980567506845697/oh-and-use-long-passwords-i-dont-give-a-fuck-if

- This guy’s fairly new, but we now have our own superhero! @feedismbatman will help you call out toxic individuals whilst remaining anonymous:

https://feedismbatman.tumblr.com/

Concerning morality:

- As a website, https://fantasyfeeder.com has a lot of problems, and, as probably the first dedicated online feedist community out there, are probably in some small part for fostering the community’s toxic culture. However, their YouTube channel has this really great video on how to be an ethical feedist and not ruin people’s lives. Please watch this, especially if you’re new to feedism:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FBRrgBPMAB4

- Is it egotistical of me to cite myself? Probably, but over 200 reblogs can’t be wrong. This post of mine absolutely blew up back in November and is still doing the rounds, and as my most popular post i guess it’s inadvertedly made me kind of an authority on ethical feedism, so check it out:

https://justanotherworthlessweirdo.tumblr.com/post/632513996135776256/why-the-community-is-toxic-this-post-is-gonna-get

- There are a lot of misconceptions about feedism, even within the community itself. This article by Marie Southard Ospina on https://everydayfeminism.com/ helps clarify some of those misconceptions, and shows how you can be a kinder and more ethical feedist. Particularly recommend this one to feeders.

https://everydayfeminism.com/2016/10/assumptions-about-fat-fetishism/

- On similar lines, here’s Ospina again, discussing the relationship of feedism to the fat acceptance movement. A lot of fat activists hate us, in part due to some of the misconceptions Ospina listed above and in part because our community is so full of incels, but if you’re a feedist, you should be for fat acceptance.

https://saltyworld.net/why-i-stand-by-the-fat-fetish-community/

- If you’re into podcasts, Wood’s Weird Wellness is one I highly recommend, featuring engaging discussion of the ethics and politics of feedism with some of the kink’s most well-known creators. Really great stuff.

https://open.spotify.com/show/10RtF0mlNdkEzZTQ7Rq18C

- A generalised discussion on how NOT to be a feedist.

https://justanotherworthlessweirdo.tumblr.com/post/625914600908521472/toxic-people-in-the-feederism-community

Final Thoughts (please read)

Please, please, please, SUGGEST RESOURCES I MAY HAVE MISSED. I’ll keep updating this post with them. In particular, it would be nice to have some useful introduction to fat politics, preferably an article: I remember m-ary had some good links for that but of course those links aren’t still active, which is partly why a post like this needs to exist. More resources on safety in feedism would also be useful, though I’d assume there aren’t too many. Finally, not to beg for likes like some dumb influencer, but for god’s sake if you’re in this community,

REBLOG THIS POST!!!!!

The more people who read these resources the better.

Reblog if your resolution is to get fatter

red flags in feeders (a warning for feedees)

I've been thinking about some of the red flags I've seen in feedist circles over the years, primarily displayed by feeders.

here are some signs to watch out for when you're with a feeder:

🚩 they only say "feederism" (which centers feeders in the community, pushing feedees to the margins) and never "feedism." 🚩 they ask for payment in return for encouragement, but refuse to help you deal with the cost of gaining (e.g. outgrowing your entire wardrobe, eating more food). 🚩they constantly lament their attraction to fat people and/or preference for fat bodies. 🚩 they're unprepared for the realities of having a feedee/fat partner. 🚩 they care more about your size than your happiness. 🚩 their idea of what counts as 'fat' is inherently tied to a certain weight. 🚩they're staunchly anti fat acceptance/liberation/etc. 🚩 they make you talk about your traumatic experiences with fatphobia because it turns them on. 🚩 they try to force you to wear only tight and/or revealing clothes by any means necessary. 🚩 if/when you lose weight, whether intentionally or not, they get angry at or disappointed in you. 🚩 they constantly try to push your limits when you haven't asked them to. 🚩 they pressure you into aspects of feedism that you aren't comfortable engaging in. 🚩 they're unwilling to incorporate broader kink best practices such as aftercare, safewords, RACK checklists, etc. 🚩 they don't support sex workers' rights and/or accuse feedists (especially feedees) in this community who ask for money of being "fakers." 🚩 they play oppression olympics (acting like any marginalized groups they're part of "have it worse" than fat people, therefore they're *always* the victim and you're *always* the one at fault). 🚩 they don't believe fat people are a marginalized group whatsoever, or refuse to say whether or not they do. 🚩 they believe stereotypes about fat people and treat us as a monolith (e.g. "all fat people are greedy" and "the fatter someone is, the lazier they are" etc.) 🚩 they throw a temper tantrum when you retract your consent/change your mind about how big you want to be.

that's all I can think of at the moment, but I'm sure there are more out there.

Unpopular opinion incoming! The problem is not that there's a shortage of female feeders. The problem is that there's a shortage of kind and considerate male feedees. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Normalize complimenting gainers on their weight. It will make them feel good and it will make you feel good fufilling your duties as an FA. Go on now, go get in your favorite gainer's ask box and tell them how good they look! 💗

This guy's a plus-sized, male model. He does some fun vids on his TikTok page. As far as I know, he does not publicly identify as a gainer or a part of the Feedism community.

reblog pls ;) 

If you’re a real human person still using the default tumblr avatar, consider changing it.

why should you change it?

When you guys pop up in our notifications, most seasoned tumblr users will suspect you’re a bot and block on sight.

why do we block immediately?

tumblr has a history of bots trying to infiltrate and establish a connection to a valid, existing blog in order to populate google searches. Simply liking or reblogging a post, not just adding a scam link to it, establishes this connection. Tumblr users don’t want this to happen, especially if it’s a scammy p*rn bot. So, we often block on sight.

So now I have to reblog stuff AND change my pfp?

Well, of course that’s up to you! I just want to explain why you may have been already blocked by an artist/blogger you may have discovered recently, and how you can avoid it in the future.

Reblogging does help creators more than likes because your reblogs will show up on the dash of those that may follow you. Plus, reblogging puts that post on your own blog, and in case the original gets deleted or edited by the OP, it’ll be on your blog like that–forever (or until you delete your blog). Nice.

Here are some free icons created by catalyststuff on freepik. Highly recommend their art for a simple replacement!

Truth

Tell a gainer "you look bigger"; it'll make their day! 💗

My Weight Gain Journey

I've never had abs. When I was in high school, I was relatively average sized, might've had the slightest beginner belly. I guess I was a victim of the Freshman 15 in college. The first signs of weight gain I remember from then was my thighs rubbing together. The chaffing was unbelievable! I was able to get some relief using Gold Bond powder and lotion. I wasn't actively gaining at the time.

It wasn't until I was out of college and working that I decided to take the plunge and actively embrace gaining. I started by going to BK every work day for lunch. I'd get a double cheeseburger w/ fries and a drink. I think that was around the time that the Bacon King came out. I tried that occasionally, but that was a struggle to finish in one sitting. I think I might've gaining a little bit of weight during that time, but not more than 15-20 lbs.

Then I went overseas and lost weight pretty dramatically. I was 195-200 lbs when I departed and the lowest weight I reached was around 160 lbs. I was overseas for almost two years, then came back stateside around the time that the pandemic started.

When I returned, I self-isolated at some friends' vacant apartment (they had moved out but the lease wasn't up for another month or so). During that time, I hopped back on the Gain Train again and ordered food in most every night for dinner. By the time I came out of self-isolation, I was up to 180 lbs. It didn't take long for me to get back up to 195 lbs.

I got a different job, one that involved being on the road a lot, so fast food was a convenience I took advantage of most every day. I blew up beyond 195 lbs and my weight creeped steadily past 200. By the next year, I had gaining 45 lbs since returning to the States.

And today, I'm sitting comfortably around 220-225 lbs, with my sights on reaching 235 lbs over the course of the next few months. I might start incorporating some gym time into my routine, just so I can get some upper body strength and bulkier build. Wish me luck!

Reblog to outgrow your swimwear by the end of summer

Sorry for not posting lately...

I've been busy with other responsibilities and interests IRL and elsewhere on the web. But I'm still alive! Still working on compiling and re-structuring My Feedism Favorite Story Archive

I will literally never get tired of the trope featuring someone who loves cooking and is really good at it frequently having their partner be their taste tester and they never leave without a full belly and they gradually put on a few over time, belly peeking out of their shirt, spilling over their pants, arms, thighs, and face softening up while receiving lots more cuddles and kisses from their love,,,, it's just,,, Peak Soft Feedism

Apparently I'm a "Big Bear." Cool!

Another repost lmfao

Probably one of the memes I put most effort into

I want my belly to be her project. The thing she cares most about. The thing she checks on multiple times a day to make sure it’s growing. I want her to know that every pound I gain is because of her. It may be on my body, but it’s her fat belly.

It's not the full site yet, but the BeefyFrat library is now available with over 500 gainer related stories. https://library.beefyfrat.com

Gotta admit, I think hearing "good boy" after finishing each plate is just the kind of encouragement I'd love, too...

You know if someone called me a good boy every time I ate everything off of my plate, I would definitely have to get more servings

Adorable scene, and such a great piece of art!

@giantffa made an illustration for a kink fic I’m working on and I LOVE IT and she gave permission me to share it with everyone!! look at how fucking good this is!!!!

This sounds like a dream!

it’s the most tried and true feedism trope but I love a good feeder who cooks and feedee who always taste tests but gets fat a result (so tragic) bc it feels like such a pure representation of love and being loved