Langsam Kriecht Das Graue Licht Des Tages Durch Die Straen, Nur Hier Und Da Leuchtet Hinter Einem Fenster

Langsam kriecht das graue Licht des Tages durch die Straßen, nur hier und da leuchtet hinter einem Fenster goldenes Licht, das vielleicht irgendwas mit Weihnachten zu tun hat. Dunkle Menschen eilen zu unbekannten Zielen, die Hände tief in den Taschen ihrer Mäntel verborgen, die Gesichter unter Kapuzen versteckt, die Ohren mit Kopfhörern der Welt um sie herum verschlossen. Irgendwo in der Ferne tuckert ein kleines Boot durch die Bucht. Ein Fischer vielleicht, wer weiß das schon? In die Stille und den Frieden hinein bricht kurz die Sirene eines Rettungswagens, vielleicht auch der Polizei oder der Feuerwehr irgendwo in der Stadt, und mahnt, dass es nicht überall gerade so friedlich ist wie in meiner kleinen Blase. Es kündigt sich ein Tag an, den man am besten in den eigenen vier Wänden verbringt. Wie so viele... Der Kaffee dampft in der Tasse vor sich hin, sein Duft wandert durch das Haus und sucht nach einer Nase. Gefunden...

pixiv

#オリジナル PAIN - catzzのイラスト - pixiv

It is a misty morning, when Severus arrives at the Fyrish Monument, he isn't able to see anything of the landscape, but all around him is silence.

He feels depressed, has no idea how to get away from this dark mood. He thinks back, thinks of Lily and her family, and of his own.

To be alone is an ice-cold feeling.

And then he asks himself some questions.

Had Lily had ever feelings for him, like love? No, there was never love...

Had she ever been a real friend?

He is not sure. When he called her accidentally a mudblood, it was because he was in anger. He tried to explain, to excuse his words, but it was her, who said: "I'm not interested. Save your breath!"

Because she thought he wasn't worth it. Not as friend or anything, he was nothing... He was never good enough for her, this was why she dated that idiot James...

There were so many things gone wrong... He should never have joined the Death Eaters... What a mess!

But then he rises his head. He got a second chance - a chance to change himself into a good man.

Than do it! Just do it!, he says to himself.

Christmas morning.

Severus expected nothing, no gifts, no greetings, absolutely nothing. He is all the more surprised when he enters his living room and discovers colorful things under his small tree.

Presents! He never thought anyone would give him gifts! He sits down and gets goosebumps. The gifts are without any hint, anonymous, but full of love. Whoever it was, he is grateful. The first gifts in years, he can't believe it.

I wish you all a Merry Christmas! 🎄

Weird dreams

They sit together on a bench on a beautiful hill in The Shire. The sun is shining, it is warm but not hot. A gentle breeze blows, the green grass sways gently as Gandalf speaks a thought aloud. Then he takes out his pipe, puts tobacco in it and lets the smoke rise into the sky.

Severus thinks about Gandalf's words and his gaze turns to Rincewind, who is just sitting there perplexed, a teacup in his hand and his eyes elsewhere.

He has absolutely no idea what Gandalf is talking about, Severus thinks, as Rincewinds eyes fixes something far far away. Maybe Ankh Morpork, maybe a Hobbit on a field, or maybe just the smoke of Gandalfs pipe that wipes around Rincewind's nose.

Or something strange is in his tea that makes him stoned, he thinks and smiles.

This is the idea of my hubby. I think, this is the first step for Severus to see a change, to feel relieved and that he can sleep and dream peacefully again - or maybe the first time in his life.

“Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.”

— Samuel Beckett

Well, I did it, he thinks as he brews himself a strong coffee. He takes his book and goes to his chair when one of the first rays of sunlight reaches him. He got over the dark mood and his heavy depression, and now he has something like hope.

It can only get better, he thinks and looks out of the window.

After some time Sev gets himself a second coffee, puts his book aside and pulls a parchment, quill and ink towards him.

It is the first time, that he really feels like that he has to leave Hogwarts forever. To many bad memories rest here, all around him is still the presence of Dumbledore. And to heal he must leave, otherwise he would drown in destroying feelings and deeper depressions than before.

But how can I explain this whole thing to Minerva?, he wonders. Just be honest, that's the best way.

And then he writes down his quitting.