Bonaqua35 - Dead Poet

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Chapter 1

Awareness. Many people imagine realizing something very dry and unrealistic. Well, when you actually realize something, it's like entering the delivered thing. You feel the colors, your emotions you find yourself in a state of nostalgic-melancholic euphoria, which will take your breath away with beauty for a while.

 That is awareness. The realization that if I had changed even a small thing in the past, today could look completely different. It's quite stressful because I know that every decision I make in the present will definitely affect the future in some way. And especially in my situation, this fact of awareness takes on an overly realistic and even tangible form. Because sometimes we don't realize that going to another cafe for coffee than usual can cause a car accident, for example, but there are moments in which we are fully aware of our situation. We know that our decision can affect the coming years and maybe decades, so we try to be prepared. Prepare for all the consequences and implications of our decision, even though in the depths of our bones we feel that this is not possible. 

That's why it all happens to run so fast that you don't even have time to realize what just happened. We only really understand this when we find ourselves in a quiet place with ourselves and our thoughts. At such moments, we realize everything. For people with extensive romantic and philosophical thinking, these pride tend to be a hell full of uncontrollable chaos, but at the same time it is the stage of the birth of great ideas and works of art of all kinds. In this state of mind, we really realize what really happened, what preceded it, what caused it, and we try to guess what will follow.