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This was one of the last things I've wrote.it turned out to be multiple ideas I wanted to get out.It's been weeks now but the significant result of this was the conversation that sparked with a friend. He asked if I write for enjoyment. The thing is I don't feel happy to write most of the time. But maybe it's about getting rid of sadness to become happy.

My first lover Loneliness

She never spoke but she sounded like the wind blowing through the trees

Or the creak when the bench swings

And she would never leave

As I float here in silence

You see peace but I'm submerged in violence

As my mind will riot

Setting blaze to any hope

Leads me to the rope

My lends to myself Is always bias

And only I hold myself to the highest

Of standards that taunt me

That are daunting

You wish for me to stop

Playing hide and seek with the demons

Can't you see I'm more than enough

To haunt my own dreams

As I carry myself

With out purpose for unknown reasons

As I fade in and out

Only to be captured by the moon beams

You wanted me to vanquish my darkness

Saying I could still be alive

But living with out it could be the hardest

Would enough of me survive

And. .

The only the only thing worse than this

Is the projection of shame from your eyes

Which becomes my reflection

And rejection is black and white

Prisoner

What a lonely way to live a life

And pretend you're alright

Start believing the lie

" I'm fine"

You wanted to be swaddle by the truth but now you're hiding

Trying to find the good but it's albata lining

A self promise to stay hidden

Regret became your prison

Locked shut and the key is forgiveness

When darkness dissolves into light

When insanity dissolves into clarity

When acid dissolves into water

When you dissolve into me

Bound to hell

I'll drag these chains

Through heaven's gate

She kissed me farewell

They said fate been decided

I say I decide fate

1/∞

I think it's important to keep trying

If it's not increasing the odds for me

Maybe it's helping another

For life to exist on a floating rock in a vacuum following a ball of gas following a mystery

The dice roll happened more times than mortals can comprehend

1/10

Out of 100 or 1000?

No a billion

A trillion?

1 out of infinity

That's my love for you

I was trying to do a few haiku

Syllables are tricky at times

Soft waves are calming

Blue ocean, true World's mirror

Warm sun rays rejoice

Pale moonlight walker

Gentle breeze, one breath away

My soul is anew

Clouds drifting slowly

Do they follow the wind or

Does the wind push them

Mountain to pebble

Time is against us all

Mortal reminder

Do flightless birds dream

Flying high above the world

Unaware to care

Do you know what it's like to mourne for the living? People are still alive yet gone. Away from you.

Finding hope in the light is no different than finding your shadow in the dark

Puzzle pieces

All this time you've wandered

All the love you let go

Has it once made you whole

Always stuck with two puzzle pieces

The beginning and end

Trying to make the in-between fit

Worlds away

I was never here to stay

And that's okay

Don't ever be afraid

I'll still find you world's away

Could you love me while I hate myself?

-Zeph

noise

Why don’t you take me seriously? What have I done to make you view me like a child? You say nothing, but your eyes convey that you think I’m deranged. Crazy. I feel disgust wash over me as you leer. You don’t believe me; you think my words ring hollow in this concrete-walled house. I don’t know how else to express this. What more do I need to show for you to take me seriously?

I know I am not the embodiment of calmness.

I am chaos. I am loud, raging and crying, refusing to be quiet. But why does that give you the right to silence my truths? The truths I hold and share are dismissed as mere tall tales in your eyes. Why can’t you see the depth behind my noise?

tw/blood + implied sh

i had a dream again

that i was covered in blood

my hands

my arms

my eyes

and something was wrong

but when i woke up i forgot to ask

if that was normal

it flashes before my eyes every so often

like a reminder

-something i wrote a while back about experiences even further back, im doing alright and this isn’t anything that should make anyone worry (just making sure)

i don’t feel trapped here

under layers of familiarity and routine

where everyone knows my name

and the changes are so slow you don't even notice

i don't feel trapped

not yet

but i will leave

as soon as i get the chance to i will leave

been counting down the days for as long as i remember

like snufkin when the leaves turn

from green to yellow

from yellow to red

it'll eventually be my turn

slip on soon to be worn out shoes

heave my backpack onto my already aching shoulders

but not aching in a bad way

aching from excitement

from anticipation

aching to carry

carry the weight of few belongings

everything, my whole life now

tossed together in a 30l backpack

enamel mug in a string from the back

a one way ticket please

little stars

all over my legs and arms

that one from the summer i was six

that one from when i was eleven

little white stars like milestones throughout my life

and the falling stars

meteors and comets

they come in groups

one two three

fifteen twenty thirtytwo

so many i cant count

make a wish

i haven’t been doing too well lately, there’s a lot of stuff going on and i can’t really bring myself to write

here’s something though

With the great love that I had for you.

Loved you beyond measures,

That I failed to survive on my own,

But with the help of a CPR & a nebuliser,

That made me make it alive again,

And you're fighting for it by coming back,

That's when I swore to hate you with great passion,

You didn't deserve me nor my love back then,

It's when you are realising how sweet my love was,

Forget not that I'm ♈ Aries ruled by Mars,

So you better guess the answer, Ciao Bella!!

It's how you still pursue me even after having me already. I find peace in you. You've made me understand that distance means nothing when two hearts are willing to make it work. You changed my perception of love. Your voice takes bad energy away. I love how you assure me of how much you love me and want to be with me when you know that I'm an overthinker. Even on a busy day you'll call me & text me too. You do your best to make sure I'm good. As they say, "the ocean never runs dry" so is our love. You're what I need in my life and I ain't letting you go. I love every single bit of you, I'll love you at your best & worst moments too. My love for you has no principles. Te Amor ❤️

-essence.of.a.poetic.lordette

https://www.instagram.com/iamcoffeeandaesthetics

Sustainable chaos

Is what I desire

As I stare out into the greenery

My vision tainted by an August gaze

Perturbed by a golden hue

As perfection is found within the vibrant normalcy

Of this rotting hometown

As ghosts dance amongst darkened roads

Illuminated by flickering street lights

Do I see your face, baby blues staring back at my empty iris’?

Pleading with me not to move, to still those racing thoughts and put down my arms

To sit within the stillness of the quiet night

And wallow in complacency

With our fingers intertwined

But, I cannot stay, my path is unwilling

For I crave to obtain this hungry disorder

And master mayhem

No longer may your silken words coerce me to silence

-lauren a.p

SCARS AND YOUR SKIN

your skin is such a gold in the sun, it glows in the moon, it blows extreme heat it has been through nobody sees once it was an ore so much in pain so much it drained. everybody just sees the glow nobody wishes to talk about how did it grow. so pure, so smooth, so exquisite, i wish to endure. i know it won’t be in vain, if i ask for your permission to stay; to love and to appreciate; every scar there, nobody sees which you have been through the visible ones every vulture wants to feed onto. i know you will doubt if i really will stay you will cry and smile a thousand times and doubt, if again, you would just be a prey!

(not just to embrace your glow, I wish to heal the unhealed what you have been through) Image courtesy: MS Artworks stayconnected |©a.aditiagrawal

Familiarity like the back of my hand,

to foreignness like a distant country.

A long path.

A quick journey.

-Vanshika Singh