Despite The Other Art, Our Musical Wonka Isn't A Shitpost.

Despite the other art, our musical wonka isn't a shitpost.

He's pretty complex, we just haven't posted about him yet. But he came about from the thought of "why are all Wonkas tall and thin? not all of them are going to have the metabolism of the gods." So suddenly our brain does its fixation thing and it turns out it was actually an alter we were taking inspiration from and we have this fabulous, complicated, messed up fellow owning our attention. This Wonka (He/She/It) is very prone to stress & spirals, and quite often finds himself obsessing over his own mortality. The way she presents herself on the tour, you'd mostly think she's just a bit of an asshole... until you realise she alliterates more when she's stressed, she keeps popping these little medicine candies in her mouth, occasionally she makes mildly concerning comments about death and temptation, and there's a Lazurus Room in the basement. "Memento Mori, Charlie".

Closing the factory was an overnight choice after she became paranoid that the world was out to get her. The tour was a choice after she obsessed over her own death during a sleepless spiral. This Wonka doesn't even want an heir, but it's yet another backup plan for when the night finally claims her. So he sets up a tour, and he trials them to the ultimate test: Temptation.

And when all is said and done, months into moving into the factory, Charlie learns the truth...

He looks to his new mentor, and he asks "You planned it, didn't you?" And she replies. "The hand of fate needs an arm, and I simply volunteered."

And that's not even getting into all the little details, nor the other characters: with such hits as Esports Streamer Mike Teavee only got his ticket cause 'Chat said it would be PogChamp', Tiktoker Violet & her Less Successful Tiktoker mom, Charlie Needs Therapy because his Mentor Refuses Therapy, Molly Bucket trying to protect her son and Accidentally Falling in Love With A Very Broken Person (aka 'Mr. Wonka is your dad now, Charlie'), the Oompa Loompa Night Shift, and Also Miranda Is Here And Wonka Pushed Her In. we love him a lot

So we made our own musical wonka...

The Wonderful Whimsical Willy Wonka: a mystery of magical candy concoctions, the pinnacle of confectioners, and proof that you should never meet your heroes.

He(/she/it) may seem fine at first; eccentric of course- what inventor isn't- but quite the bit self-grandiose, tells you not to eat anything whilst chewing on chocolate. Yet, there's little quirks... rushed speech, compulsive alliteration, a posh English accent that occasionally slips into something less rehearsed, the unwrapping of little candies from a hidden pocket when stressed, and an odd fixation on Temptation and Death that results in a Las Vegas-esque musical number mid-tour (Did he practice that?!)

A man prone to spirals, to fixations, to paranoia of her own mind, who closed its factory certain the world was out to get it, who reopened its factory after, at 3am in the dark of its office, realised that no Lazarus Machine nor Wonka-Vite would likely succeed. Willy Wonka did not want an heir, but it had become another nocturnal necessity.

And so: Six tickets, Six tests of temptation.

"Gloop, Teavee, Beauregarde, Salt, Piker, Bucket! Do come in.~"

I might repost that art tomorrow and add the Inventing Room & the Greenhouse art to it too. I'd add the Guest Room (now known as the Teavee Suite), but it definitely does not hit the spot quite as much as the others. ;;

Oh well. Stuff to do tonight, I say as it's 4:30am. x

Biblically Accurate Oompa Loompa.

How would you handle the choreography for Auf wiedersehen Augustus gloop from Charlie and the chocolate factory the musical?

Oh we have two left-feet and a bad memory, so we couldn't even tell you the coreography for the current musical versions of AwAG.

Not having a 'chocolate lagoon' or a tiny hose-sized pipe would be a good start for whatever's going on there though.