"I Thought You Said You Weren't Crazy Anymore?"The Dag

"I thought you said you weren't crazy anymore?" —The Dag

Mad Max: Fury Road x Harry Potter Headcanons

Imperator Furiosa

Defense Against the Dark Arts instructor. Gryffindor alum. Also a legacy member of the Vuvalini Vixens, an international and award-winning all-female Quidditch team where her mother, Mary Jo Bassa, served as lead Chaser for two decades. She is very famous in the Wizarding world because she successfully defeated a very evil Dark Wizard named Immortan Joe when she encountered him during her gap year travels in the Wasteland where he controlled an army of deranged warlocks and established a very dangerous Death cult that preyed on virginal witches. However, it was in this famous battle that she also lost her left arm due to a very powerful Severing Curse that Immortan Joe aimed at her. Undeterred by her irreversible injury, she promptly fashioned herself a fully-functional mechanical arm that never fails to impress the kids at Hogwarts. She has a slight discomfort teaching classroom theory, but definitely shines when it comes to demonstrating the practical spells in her classes. She's considered as one of the more popular teachers among the students at Hogwarts, and is fair and objective when it comes to grading students. but has a zero-tolerance policy when she catches students bullying others, especially if the victims are girls.

Max Rockatansky

Transfiguration instructor. Slytherin alum. Several rumors surround Professor Rockatansky due to his very taciturn personality and tendency to avoid socializing with his students or colleagues outside of classes. Some say he's a werewolf, even though he's been spotted several times in public during full moon nights. Some say he works undercover for the Ministry of Magic as an Unspeakable, hence his secretive and isolated nature. But the most popular story surrounding his mystique (though still largely viewed as unproven hearsay) is that he went slightly mad from the heat after accidentally Apparating himself to the Australian Outback desert and was unable to get back home for more a month, thus earning him the nickname of "Mad Max" among the students, though they use it more as an affectionate term since the students respect and admire him despite his reserved nature. He's actually quite nice and engaging whenever he's teaching classes, and has been known to crack a smile or two (and delivering rather awkward thumbs-up gestures) whenever his students successfully perform rather complicated spellwork. And even though he and Professor Furiosa share a strictly professional working relationship, that has not stopped the student body of Hogwarts from making good-natured comments about them looking really cute together.

The Splendid Angharad

Seventh Year student. Head Girl. Gryffindor. Angharad is the leader of a popular all-girls clique in the school known simply as The Five. While most girls blessed with genetically good looks would be shallow and self-centered mean girls who make fun of other people, Angharad is actually a friendly and caring pureblood witch who is well-liked by most everyone in Hogwarts. She's a very vocal advocate for student rights, regardless of their Wizarding blood status, and takes her duties as the school's Head Girl very seriously. An unfortunate Potions accident during her Fourth Year has left part of her face and arms permanently covered in a webbed pattern of scars, but this physical deformity has not diminished her inner beauty and as a result, many of the underclassmen girls look up to her as a strong and aspirational figure for positive self-esteem because she refuses to hide her scars underneath glamour or concealment charms. Besides being one of Hogwarts’ top academic students, the school administration also approves of Angharad's many helpful initiatives she has enacted over the years like setting up tutoring sessions for students having difficulties with the curriculum and strengthening international academic relations with Beauxbatons and Durmstrang by establishing an annual cultural exchange program. Needless to say, there is no doubt as to why a lot of people often call her "Splendid".

Capable

Seventh Year student. Prefect. Gryffindor. Capable is considered as the second-in-command of the Five and is also Angharad's best friend since childhood. Living up to her name, Capable is highly skilled in the magical arts—with a natural affinity for Transfiguration and Astronomy—and is known to be exceptionally talented at fixing broken things without the use of magic since she grew up in a Muggle household where her parents work as service repair attendants. Because of this, she is the school's top student when it comes to Muggle Studies and she usually fields a lot of questions from curious pureblood students about how things work outside of the Wizarding world. Apart from her responsibilities as a Prefect, Capable is the president of several extracurricular clubs and is the go-to senior student chaperone whenever the Hogwarts underclassmen take regular field trips to the Muggle world. Although she’s not as sporty as Toast, Capable was the one who introduced, adapted, and popularized the concept of cheerleading for school Quidditch, and thus, all four Houses now have permanent Quidditch Cheerleading squads. She is also responsible for taking over Angharad's duties whenever her best friend is busy with other important engagements or is otherwise sick with illness. Despite being a good girl at heart, Capable is slightly prone to being attracted to guys with a bit of a bad boy streak in them.

The Dag

Sixth Year student. Slytherin. Out of the Five, the Dag has earned a reputation for being the most eccentric student in school despite her otherworldly good looks. Originally from Beauxbatons, she transferred to Hogwarts during her Third Year when she became good friends with Angharad while the latter was on a summer holiday in France with her parents. The Dag is fiercely proud of her Veela heritage (from her mother's side) although she largely feels she could do without the constant unwanted attention that boys with no sense of boundaries often place upon her due to her inherent allure. Both serene and cynical, the Dag is a fascinating amalgamation of personalities and often surprises people by doing things that are in contrast to her exterior beauty. Unlike many other girls in the school, the Dag is interested in the most esoteric of things, dresses in a very singular style, moves with a charming mixture of grace and awkwardness, and often speaks in strange turns of phrases that range from poetic (she often describes incoming trouble as "furious fixations") to head-scratchingly crude (she can deliver the harshest of insults in her own brand of slang). And apart from Divination, the Dag consistently gets Outstanding marks when it comes to Herbology, and she is usually found reading books about magical and Muggle plants by the greenhouses or at the edge of the Forbidden Forest whenever she likes to spend some time alone.

Toast the Knowing

Sixth Year student. Quidditch Team Seeker. Ravenclaw. Despite having a tough-as-nails personality indicative of a Gryffindor student, Toast is one of Ravenclaw's best assets and has earned her moniker of "The Knowing" for many reasons. Both book smart and street smart, Toast is a reliable source of information on various topics and the other members of the Five often seek her knowledge and input whenever they do group study sessions together. Outside of her impressive academic abilities, Toast is one of the most talented Seekers that Hogwarts has ever produced, and she hopes to one day join the Vuvalini Vixens as a first-string team player after she graduates since Professor Furiosa has confided to Toast that she will give the team her glowing recommendation. Should a career in professional Quidditch not be in the cards for her, Toast is ready to execute her backup career plan of becoming a top female wandmaker since it is very rare in the Wizarding world for witches to pursue wandmaking as a skilled profession. Despite her petite frame, Toast can handle student bullies twice her size with or without the use of her wand. While her social circle primarily consists of Quidditch boys from all four Hogwarts houses, Toast is still able to get in touch with her feminine side by spending quality girl time with the rest of the Five during weekends or regular trips to Hogsmeade.

Cheedo the Fragile

Fifth Year student. Hufflepuff. As the youngest of the Five, Cheedo is largely protected by the elder members of her clique since she gets a significant amount of (mostly unwarranted) attention from hormonal boys apart from The Dag. Though she was nicknamed "Fragile" during her early years in Hogwarts (she often cried a lot due to homesickness), Cheedo has considerably toughened up as she grew older and has been known to hold her own ground whenever her best friends aren't around; using her facade of fragility to her advantage whenever bullies try to pull a fast one on her. Boasting a formidable combination of brains and beauty, Cheedo has emerged as one of Hufflepuff's star students and is often credited for earning the most points for her House every year. And ever since Capable established Quidditch Cheerleading in Hogwarts, Cheedo has tried out for the Hufflepuff team and is on track to becoming the House’s squad captain when she ascends to her Seventh Year. She also often volunteers to be the head of any committee whenever Angharad announces plans to host fun events on the school's social calendar since this allows Cheedo to showcase her leadership abilities, take on more serious responsibilities outside of classes, and prove to herself and to others that her nickname does not define who she is as a person.

Nux

Seventh Year student. Quidditch Team Chaser. Slytherin. Known for being the fastest and the most dangerous broom rider in Hogwarts, Nux has also gained school notoriety since he was a transfer student from Durmstrang during his Fourth Year. Having entered the school midway through a typical Hogwarts student's academic tenure, Nux initially had a hard time fitting in with the rest of the student body until he showed up for the Slytherin Quidditch Team tryouts where he easily defeated the competition with his death-defying broom riding and Chasing skills. Since then, he has charmed most of the Hogwarts students with his impressive Quidditch talents (along with his rakish yet boyish good looks) and is largely credited for conceiving popular battle cries on the field which has evolved into now-legendary school catchphrases ("I live! I die! I live again!" and "Witness me!") that the Slytherin Quidditch Cheerleading squad loves to incorporate in their routines. Despite his knowledge and objectively keen interest in the Dark Arts due to being educated in Durmstrang, Nux has never once been inclined to use such negative forces in his magical studies or in everyday life. And while he does engage in typical shenanigans that is expected of mischievous adolescent boys like him, Nux has demonstrated remarkable restraint when it comes to improving his slightly mediocre grades and immature behavior considering that he hopes to catch the attention of a certain red-headed member of Hogwarts' most esteemed social group.

Here’s another Mad Max: Fury Road-inspired playlist that I curated and was inspired by the Five Wives and Nux: the beautiful young adults inhabiting the unforgiving world of the Wasteland.

To listen to the mixtape, click here.

MAX ROCKATANSKY IS A SLYTHERIN. PERIOD.

So I wrote this headcanon post (which is getting a lot of traction lately) about Team War Rig of Mad Max: Fury Road as crossover characters in the Harry Potter universe and I wrote that Max Rockatansky is a Slytherin, but most everyone who’s been reblogging the post is saying he’s a Hufflepuff (with the rather superficial reasoning that he’s this overgrown feral puppy dog of sorts, which — okay — is actually true). Now, this bit confuses me because Max has largely exhibited actions in Fury Road that are indicative of a Slytherin than a Hufflepuff, which I present thus:

A key factor of being sorted into Slytherin is a person's blood purity, and this is taken very literally in Fury Road because Max is a "full life" with clean blood needed to energize the "half-life" War Boys. Therefore, it would make sense that Max in the HP universe would be a pureblood wizard because of his literally "pure" blood status.

Another important Slytherin trait is their strong sense of self-preservation, and this means that Slytherins tend to hesitate before acting in order to weigh all possible outcomes before deciding exactly what should be done. In the film, Max does start out only caring for himself as shown when he attempted to steal the War Rig from Furiosa and the Wives and even going as far to try and shoot off Nux's hand to free himself from the chain connecting him to the sickly War Boy had the rifle worked. But his sense of self-preservation has not diminished even after helping out Furiosa and the Wives take back the Citadel because it is in his very nature to fly solo.

Let's not forget that Salazar Slytherin prized potential Hogwarts entrants to possess cunning, determination, leadership qualities, and a "certain disregard for the rules"—all of which Max has showcased in Fury Road. He was smart enough to not underestimate Furiosa's capability as a toughened warrior despite her physical disability (cunning); he was highly driven to survive at all costs even if it meant teaming up with a group of people that clearly do not trust him at first sight (determination); he is a natural leader because he proposed a decent battle strategy to Furiosa and allowed her to make the call rather than forcing everyone else to follow his lead (leadership qualities); and he is also a person who chooses to march to the beat of his own drum by leaving the Citadel even though he knows he is welcome to stay ("a certain disregard for the rules").

And need I remind everyone that NOT ALL SLYTHERINS ARE EVIL?! Case in point: Severus Snape, who worked his whole life to redeem himself by swearing fealty to Dumbledore and helping to protect Harry Potter due to his inability to save his mother Lily from dying at the hands of Voldemort. In the same way Snape is forever haunted by Lily's death, so too is Max with his mental visions of all those people he couldn't save from his previous adventures before the events of Fury Road took place. And through his character development by the end of the film, he was able to redeem himself by not only saving Furiosa's life with his "pure blood", but also realizing that despite his internal flaws, he is still a good person at heart.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that Max shouldn't be Sorted into Hufflepuff (given that he has also exhibited dedication, kindness, and fearlessness of toil — which are all central Hufflepuff traits), but I personally think that he's more of a Slytherin based on his characterization not just in Fury Road, but also in the past three films he was featured in. He's a damaged character who has suffered through so much in a very dangerous world, and in his own words, he was reduced to a single instinct which is to survive—and this in itself is the most Slytherin as you can get rather than being a Hufflepuff.

So yeah, everyone who agrees that Max is a Hufflepuff is free to think so, but you people cannot convince me otherwise that the Road Warrior is a hardcore Slytherin through and through.

frag·ile /ˈfrajəl,ˈfraˌjīl/ adjective

1. (of an object) easily broken or damaged; flimsy or insubstantial; easily destroyed.

2. (of a person) not strong or sturdy; delicate and vulnerable.

And finally... completing my mixtape series on the Five Wives of Mad Max: Fury Road is a collection of songs inspired by the youngest of the Wives, namely, Cheedo the Fragile.

To listen to the mixtape, click here.

“Dag” is an Australian and New Zealand slang term. It is often used as an affectionate insult for someone who is, or is perceived to be, unfashionable, lacking self-consciousness about their appearance and/or with poor social skills yet affable and amusing; it is also used to describe an amusing, quirky and likeable person and is non-pejorative.

A dag may, for example, choose to wear textures that feel nice regardless of how they look or wear something they have become attached to even if it’s old and worn out. Similarly, dags may wear hair and clothing styles they enjoy even where these are considered unfashionable or ridiculous.

Dags are considered amusing just by being themselves and attract feelings of either embarrassment or endearment from others. The tendency of dags to stick with what they like regardless of the opinions or pressures from others wins respect from some but pity, scorn, or bullying from others for the same reasons.

Here’s another one of my Mad Max: Fury Road series of mixtapes that I curated and is inspired by my absolute favorite of the Five Wives, namely, The Dag.

To listen to this mixtape, click here.