Boohoo Let Me Play You Despacito On The Worlds Smallest Alexa

“Boohoo let me play you despacito on the worlds smallest Alexa”

“This is serious!”

“I know this really is the worlds smallest Alexa”

if ‘get low’ was an indie tune (mumford and sons are shaking)

good mods for beginner dragon age players

im sorry bee im trash

extra dog slot - take ur small pup pal anywhere!

equal love - removes gender restrictions on romances. makes morrigan & alistair bi, and opens opportunities to kiss cute npcs

polygamy - romance everyone at once without them getting jealous and loosing approval (also you get an achievement for romancing them all, so you can get that in one play through!)

more hairstyles - adds more hairstyles to the character creator not the da:o toolset

lock bash - allows all classes to open locked chests, not just rogues

no helmet hack - means you can wear a helmet and get the added armour bonus, but you dont have to see it! 

gift guide - for if you have the gift dlc i think

skip the fade - skips the long ass fade sequence in the tower quest. ideal for second play throughs 

ring of invincibility - cheat mod. does exactly what it says on the tin

pineappletree’s vibrant colours - adds more eye colours and hair colours to the character creator

skip fight - another cheat mod. imemdiately kills all enemies you are fighting. this ones good if you just want to play the story, not all the combat. i love this one

expanded inventory - ups your inventory capacity from 70 to 125 (the games max)

misha the hoarder - this one adds storage to your camp! along with a fully voiced npc its truly wonderful (honestly why this game didnt have storage as a defauly is completely bamsboozling for me)

steal cooldown reduced - for when you’re playing as a rogue and want to pickpocket everyone but you’re tired of having to wait ten seconds between tries

no restrictions - removes all restrictions so now anyone can wear any armour

advanced quickbar - makes it so you have multiple quickbars you can flip through, so you can access all your attacks and items quicker

grey wardens of ferelden - gives all the warden characters the warden armours from dragon age 2! best if you start from the beginning with this one, i dont know how easy it is to pick up the armours later in the game. this mod is absolutely essential imo though

extended dog talents - gives your mabari more things to do during fights!

attribute talent skill book add - every time you load a save, you get books of power (if you use them you get extra attributes ect as you do on leveling up). these can also be sold for like 5 sovereigns each if you dont want to spend them

okay im done now. honestly i could do more of these for da2 and dai if thats something people might want?

I hate it when you’re reading smut and you can’t figure out what position they’re in.

sleep scale

12+ hours: hell yes. decadence has a name and it is ME. the dream. im marrying  my bed you’re invited to the wedding. i might feel groggy and angry for the rest of the day when i actually do get up but WORTH IT. 

12+ hours (ALTERNATE): i am deeply clinically depressed and approximately three (3) inches from death at any given moment

11-10 hours: ideal. im functioning at perfect 100% capacity my body and mind are a well oiled machine. im ready to knock out all my errands and chores in under an hour, work a full day and then study that language im trying to learn

9 hours: good! i could have slept longer, but getting up was no great horrifying trauma either

8-7 hours: the “””””medically recommended amount””””” for adults, but in reality more like a “fine, i GUESS” amount. normal mild levels of angst at having to get out of bed

6 hours: silent unceasing internal groaning for at least the first hour after waking. dont expect any kind of quality conversation for the first 2 or so hours. ive got a Less Than Medically Recommended Amount Of Sleep, that means im a martyr right???

5 hours: pretty unpleasant. feels gross. expect a moderate crash during the late afternoon. this is the first number that is considered worthy of entry in a college student sleep-measuring contest. altho if you try to enter with 5 hrs dead-eyed hordes will instantly materialize from the bushes and one-up you “5 hours??? HAHA SWEET SUMMER CHILD. I HAVENT SLEPT IN 3 YEARS”

4 hours: a Very Poor Decision. deep seated, incoherent rage upon waking that persists up to several hours. consume large amounts of your stimulant of choice, but you’ll still feel like a cave troll. constant aftertaste of chemicals and regret

3 hours: half awake half walking in some astral plane haunted by the wails of the newly-dead. children and animals fear the emptiness in your vacant eyes. a very respectable entry to any sleep-measuring contest. you’ll still get beaten by the “2 hour” and “all nighter” people, but everyone knows this is Bad

2 hours: you can get up, but only by rending your soul from your physical body in a paroxysm of agony, since it will refuse to leave the bed. you are now soulless and will feel absolutely zero emotion until sometime in the late afternoon/early evening when your soul returns and ALL the emotions will hit at once, leaving you alternately sobbing or creepily hyena laughing

1 hour: you fool. you imbecile. your hubris and weakness has brought you to this point. they are coming. you cannot escape. why didnt you just stay awake. why didnt you just pull the all-nighter. the strength of your no-sleep headache threatens to stab through your skull like an ice pick. all you can taste is blood. they are comi

0 hours: THIS ACTUALLY ISNT AS BAD. HAHA I’M NOT EVEN THAT TIRED! WATCH ME DOWN 15 MOUNTAIN DEWS IN 15 MINUTES. I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING IN MY EARS ISNT THAT WEIRD. WHAT DO YOU MEAN MY EYES ARE BLOODSHOT AND I CANT FOCUS, IM COMPLETELY NORMAL RIGHT NOW. GUYS I CAN HEAR COLORS.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA omg.

NEW YORK, NY—In a late-night show interview Wednesday, Senator Bernie Sanders politely asked the nation to please stop mailing him books on basic economics, revealing that he’s been “absolutely flooded” with works on the most rudimentary concepts of supply and demand.

Sanders made the request after receiving yet another daily shipment of books from well-meaning Americans who simply assumed that he has never read a book on the subject in his life.

“I’ve got 1,200 copies of Human Action, 1,500 copies of Basic Economics, and 4,700 copies of Economics in One Lesson,” the angered senator said. “I’m drowning here.” Sanders also showed the late-night host a small mountain of children’s books on the subject of economics from the easy-to-read Tuttle Twins series, sent to him from Americans who assumed he had somehow missed classroom discussions on the value of a dollar and supply and demand while in elementary school.

Sanders further confirmed he still hasn’t read a single one of the books, stating that they look like they’re “full of harsh facts” and that he prefers a more emotion-based approach to economics. He added that he’s “a little peeved” that our nation has so many choices for books on basic economics on the market. “Do we really need that many?”

At publishing time, Sanders had arrived to one of his other houses and began screaming at the sky in anger upon discovering fifty-eight more books on basic economics had been mailed there.