Its Bullshit. Part 1.

“its bullshit.” part 1.

jonathan byers x reader

contains: swearing, fluff, alcohol, reader being drunk, angst, break up, suggestive

(a longer fic than usual)

after being invited to a party, you get drunk to get rid of the stress of losing your bestfriend. little did you know, your drunk truths would lead you to losing someone else too, and becoming closer to someone else in the meantime.

you hop out of steve’s car, and head inside the party. the music is so loud, it practically bounces off the walls, aching in your ears, as steve pulls you into the crowd. after a bit of dancing, you feel someone’s presence behind you two. its billy hargrove. he seems to have a massive grudge against steve, and you scowl at him.

“we got ourselves a new keg king, harrington.” sneers one of steve’s old friends.

“yeah, eat it harrington!”

steve takes his sunglasses off, staring billy down. not wanting to be involved, you briskly walk to the kitchen, wanting to get some “fruit” punch. sweeping past the couples making out against the counter, you approach a guy whos chugging the drink out of a classic red cup.

“whats in this?” you ask curiously, peering down at what seems to be fruit punch.

“PURE FUEL! PURE FUEL!” the peculiar guy yells, slapping his chest and burping.

grimacing at him, you take a cup and fill it to the brim, downing it. at some point, steve had arrived next to you, and is urging you to take it easy.

“hey.. whoa, whoa! hey.. whoa, whoa, whoa! take it easy. take it easy, y/n, y/n!” he lays a hand on your shoulder, comfortingly.

you shove his shoulder off, annoyed at how protective hes being. after all, its a party, right??

“we’re just being stupid teenagers for the night. wasnt that the deal?” you say, frustrated, dipping the cup in again and taking a gulp. you wipe off a bit of punch that got on your cheek and head off into the crowd, away from steve.

your temper calms down after a bit, the drink getting to your head and making you feel lightheaded and fuzzy. you’re giddily dancing with steve. you dont notice the familiar face entering the party, as you’re lost in a (drunk) trance.

you wobble over to the punch bowl, almost dipping the cup in again, when steve grabs your arm and shoves the cup away.

“no, no, no.” he says, firmly.

“get offffffff…!” you slur your words, pissed off, as you struggle against his grip.

“no, you’ve had enough, okay?”

“screw you!” you shout, heading back to the bowl. you dip the cup in the punch again, filling it up to the top. steve grabs you again, making you even more angry.

“stop, y/n, im serious!” he says again, struggling to take the cup from your tight grip.

“put it down.”

“no!” you scream.

“put it down!” he says again, trying to grab the cup from your grasp.

“steve, stop!”

steve accidentally lets go, and the red cup goes flying and lands splat on your white blouse. you gasp in horror and embarrassment as you step back, staring down at your now-ruined outfit. everyone exclaims as they watch the scene unfold.

“what the hell??” you say, running off to the bathroom. you ignore steve running after you.

wetting a towel, you desperately try to wipe off the red mess that the drink made.

“y/n, im sorry. its not coming off, y/n.” says steve.

“its… coming..” you trip over your words in your drunken state, helplessly dabbing at your blouse.

“let me just take you home, okay? come here.” begs steve, knowing this has turned into a nightmare.

“you-you wanted thisss.” you say, angrily, pushing him away from you.

“no i didnt want this, i told you to stop drinking.” steve sighs, running a hand through his hair.

“its bullshit. BULLSHIT.”

“no, its not bullshit, y/n.”

“no, youuuu. youre.. bullshit!” you exclaim.

“wh-what?” steve stammers.

“youre pretending like.. like everythings.. okay. you know, like we didnt… like we didnt kill barb.” you spit out, glaring at him.

“like, like, its great. like we’re in love.. and we’re partying.” you carry on.

“yeah, lets party huh? party. we’re partying…”

“this is bullshit.” you say, a look of disgust forming on your face, as you stare up at steve’s hurt expression.

“ ‘like we’re in love?’ “ steve utters, his voice eerily quiet. he reaches out and touches your face, as you mutter out again.

“its bullshit.”

steve shakes his head in disbelief. “y-you dont love me?”

“its bullshit.” you say, one last time. steve swiftly opens the door, and leaves, slamming it behind him without another word. you mindlessly stare at the counter, trying to dab the red liquid off of you again, not knowing what to think.

after hearing jonathan took you home, in a heated conversation the next day with steve, you head to the carpark. you have the worst hangover, you’re heads throbbing and you can barely think straight.

“so.. steve asked you to take me home?” you inquire.

“yeah.” jonathan says simply. maybe you’re imagining it, but he seemed a little hesitant, almost like he was trying to convince himself it was true, too.

“yeah, yeah he was upset. he was really upset. but he was still worried about you.”

“hey, hey. you need to cut yourself some slack. people say shitty things when theyre wasted. y’know, things they dont mean.” jonathan says softly, trying to reassure you.

“yeah but thats the thing. what if i did mean it? all this time, ive been trying so hard to pretend like everything’s fine, but.. its not.” you burst out, before you can stop yourself.

“i.. i feel like theres this, i dont know like this..-“

“like theres this weight youre carring around, all the time.” jonathan finishes the sentence for you, as he stares deep into your eyes.

“i feel it too.”

“yeah but its different for you. will came home.” you remind him.

“he did, but hes not the same. i try to be there for him, to help him. but.. i dont know.” he sighs, and you watch him.

“maybe things just cant go back to the way they were.” jonathan finishes.

“doesnt that make you mad?” frustrated, you ask him. i mean, how couldnt it? you knew it certainly did for you..

“i mean, the people who did this, who- who ruined so many lives, just.. get away with it!” you huff out, breathlessly.

“the people responsible for this, theyre dead.” says jonathan.

you dont believe it for one second, however. it’s been on your mind a lot, and you had a hunch.

you lean in closer. “do you really believe that?” you ask intensely.

you watch a kid in the distance blast music out of his walkman, as he tucks into a burger.

“your mom’s boyfriend. he works at radio shack right?” you ask, an idea quickly forming in your head.

“yeah. but why??” jonathan seems extremely confused.

you look to the side, zoning out as he speaks up again.

“what are you thinking..?”

“do you wanna skip fourth period?”

you both creep into your house, trying to get past your mom. unfortunately, she looks around as she hears the door open.

“jonathan?” she asks.

“miss wheeler, hi.” stutters jonathan, looking at you, unsure of what to say.

“uh, we-we have a test tomorrow.” he mutters out. miss wheeler exclaims out ‘ohhh.’

“did you go shopping?” she asks you, staring down at the radio shack bag you carry in your hand

“oh, uh- yeah. my walkman broke!” you say.

“aw.”

“bummer..” jonathan adds on.

“anyway, we should go. its a- its a really big test.” you say quickly, running upstairs with jonathan.

in the safety of your room, you flop on the bed, trying to ignore the fact you’ve invited another guy in there.

“okay, are you sure about this?” he asks.

“no.” you mutter, looking at the ground.

you turn to your bedside table, picking up your pastel blue telephone, and picking up the phone, before dialing barbara’s mom’s number.

“miss holland, hi, its y/n.” you say.

“i need to tell you something. it’s about nancy, i havent.. uh, been honest with you.” you stutter out, your stomach churning.

“b-but i cant tell you here on the phone. meet me tomorrow, forrest hills park, at 9 am. dont tell anyone, and dont call me back here, its dangerous.”

“nancy, what is this?” barbs mom asks, extremely confused.

“i just need you to trust me. please.” you say, desperately, before hanging up the phone.

“hey mom, i was thinking about staying the night at stacy’s tonight? we’re gonna have a girls night.” you ask at breakfast. you know your mom would say yes, she’s always easy-going like that, so you use it to the best of your ability a lot of times.

“romantic comedies, do our nails, gossip…”

“sure, sounds like fun!” she says, as you sit down.

mike looks at you weirdly, and you ignore him.

“toast? no?” you ask holly.

you quickly walk to jonathans car, making sure no-one sees you, and get in, telling him good morning.

“did you see your mom?”

“no, she was sleeping. i left a note.” he replies.

“you dont have to do this, you know.” i say, stopping and looking into his hazel eyes for a moment.

“stop saying that.” he says, smiling comfortingly at me. my lips curve upwards and i smile back. we stay like that for a few seconds, before he clears his throat, nodding at me, and starting the car.

“its 15 past.” you’re sitting on a bench with jonathan, looking around the park, leg shaking.

“give them time.” he replies, always keeping his cool.

you notice a guy reading a paper under some shelter.

“him, there.” you point him out.

“what?”

“he just.. talked to himself.” maybe you were being paranoid, but you didnt want to risk it.

as if on cue, he looks up from his paper, his eyes narrowing as he makes eyecontact with you both. you start noticing other people. a random old man throwing seeds onto the soil, moms watching their kids play, two women doing yoga. and they all start looking at us, eerily. a man with a briefcase walks past.

“i think we should go.” you both head back to the car, on high alert.

in the safety of jonathans car, you slam the door shut, as he turns the key in the hole. but the car wont start. he tries again and again, when someone knocks on the window and i jump, gasping.

“having trouble with your car? i can give you two a lift if you’d like.” he gives an encouraging smile. suddenly, everyone you’d noticed swarms the car.

“jonathan..” your voice is no louder than a whisper.

the man knocks again.

“sure you dont need that ride?”

A/N: this took forever oh my god. im sorry its so long i expect its really boring, but it’ll get juicer as time goes on. there will only be one more part coming out. i hope you enjoyed! btw its not proofread yet so im sorry for mistakes 🤍

MY MASTERLIST

requests are open!

Follow my wattpad @cass1dywrites

HARRY POTTER

can i have this dance? - lorenzo berkshire ☁️💌

ghosting - lorenzo berkshire ☁️💌

bloody and bruised - mattheo riddle ☁️💌

casual - lorenzo berkshire ☁️

bad idea! - mattheo riddle 💌 (☁️??)

OUTER BANKS

in danger - jj maybank ☁️💌

STRANGER THINGS

“mike, im outside, let me in!!” - mike wheeler 💌

“its bullshit.” part 1 - jonathan byers ☁️

OTHER FICS

nothing here yet…

what i WILL / will NOT write

THINGS I WILL NOT WRITE

smut (i hope this didnt let anyone down, i just am not good at writing it and im also uncomfortable writing it.)

intense gore

intense blood / injury mentions

rape

detailed abuse

torture (unless its a scene from a film such as the deathly hallows pt 2)

non consensual acts

suicide or selfharm

incest (including step family members)

THINGS I WILL WRITE

kissing

relationships

fights / beating up

arguments

angst angst angst

literally anything apart from whats on the list above or if its really strange

masterlist

when i want fluff/angst fics and all i’m getting is smut

the struggle is real

ghosting

warnings: angst, swearing, a kiss

lorenzo berkshire x reader

a part 2 / follow on of “can i have this dance?”

1st person pov

where a gryffindor got into a fight with her best mate, and is ghosting the guy who she believes to be the cause of this. will he change her mind?

“theyre both not talking to you? doesnt seem like harry.” says hermione.

we’re both walking to dreaded potions class with professor snape, and of course, we share it with slytherin. which means seeing lorenzo berkshire, who ive been ignoring all week, since the yule ball. of course, he hasnt not noticed this, i can tell. probably because i havent been very discreet, practically running away whenever i see him turn the corner..

“i think it’s just because he’s ron’s best mate, y’know. doesnt want him to be the only one thinking that way. harry’s pretty chill.” i say, trying to convince myself that is the reason.

“im sure you’re right, y/n. dont let it get to your head, okay?”

i nod, as we turn into the doorway of the cold, uninviting potions class. we quickly find our seats with harry and ron, the awkwardness between us all immediately setting in. i can feel lorenzo’s eyes boring into the back of my head, and i try to ignore it.

“today, we’ll be… switching things up a bit.” snarls snape.

“i’ll be putting you with different partners. im sick of the.. gossip in my lessons recently.”

i huff, anxiety building up with me. the only person i could stand being put with was hermione, and i knew that wouldnt happen. snape had it out for us four all the time. snape starts reading out who gets partnered with who, and i rest my head on my hand.

“mr weasley with mr berkshire..” my eyes widen and i cringe. i stare at ron in disbelief, and he seems furious. i look back to see enzo roll his eyes and huff.

“miss granger with miss parkinson.. and finally, miss l/n with mr nott.”

i groan, and slap a hand over my mouth when i realise. snape would give me detention for anything now.

“something upsetting you miss l/n?” the professor snarls, his lips curling into a smirk.

“nothing sir.” i clear my throat, and get up, reluctantly walking over to theodore.

after the demonstration snape gave us, i want to cut the obvious tension with nott.

“okay, so the first ingredient we need to add is-“

“cut the shit, y/n.”

i stop suddenly, turning around and furrowing my eyebrows.

“excuse me? what the hell is wrong with you?”

“what’s wrong with me? whats wrong with you?? he spits.

“you’ve been turning enzo inside out since the yule ball, because you can’t get your shit together! seriously, youre ghosting him, and for what?”

my jaw drops, and i just stare at him, trying to process what he’d just shouted at me. he carries on.

“i couldnt care less about some girl enzo kissed, but you’re hurting him, and he’s my best mate. sort it out.”

he turns away from me, putting random shit into his cauldron as my face heats up, partly from embarrassment, partly from confusion. i’d been hurting him? i’d been turning him inside out? fuck. i needed to sort this out, but how?

“he shouted that at you? jeez.” exclaims hermione. we’re currently in the library, as i sit by a desk, watching hermione put books away deep in thought.

“i think you definitely need to talk to ron, and then talk to lorenzo. explain why you’ve been ignoring him. its not fair to him..”

“i know, i know. where would ron be right now?” i ask, pretty much to myself.

“common room maybe? he’s probably playing chess.” hermione reasons.

“i’d better go, is that okay?”

“of course! go, quickly!” she ushers me out of the library, as i sprint down the corridors, earning strange looks from students. i dont know why im running really, but i have a strange sense of urgency bubbling in me.

i burst through the painting and into the common room, with my hands on my knees, panting heavily.

“ron weasley!” i shout, between breaths. a ginger head turns from the couch by the fireplace, a confused expression painted on his face. once he sees me, his expression darkens.

“what do you want?”

“please ron, just listen to me!”

ron turns away, but someone grabs his arm, pulling him back towards me. its harry. a small smile breaks onto my face, and harry softly smiles back, as ron scoffs.

“what do you want now? come to tell me youre dating that git?”

“ron. ron i- i dont want to lose you. you’re my bestfriend and ive known you for years. i love you so much, and i just want you back. please ron.” by this point i’d burst into tears, sobbing and gasping for breath. i watched ron’s facial expression soften, and before i knew it, i was being wrapped up into a hug by ron’s strong arms.

he didnt say much, just hugging me, as i let it all out, wetting his jumper with my salty tears. i broke the hug, wiping my eyes and quickly hugged harry, before turning to leave.

“where are you going?” ron asked. not in a horrible way though, he said it with a soft tone, pure curiosity.

“i need to set things right with lorenzo..” i trail off, waiting for ron to get angry again. but instead, he took a deep breath, and nodded.

running blindly through the corridors trying to find enzo, i thumped into someone.

“sorry, sorry.” i apologise profusely, trying to keep going, when im held back by someone. its theodore nott. i gulp, looking up at him.

“dont start, okay? where’s lorenzo, i need to set things right with him.”

“atta girl.” he smiled, and it was the first time id ever seen him with a look of happiness on his face.

“he’s in the courtyard, sheltering from the rain and smoking a cig.”

“thank you, thank you!!” i call back to him, already running past him, jumping slightly as thunder rumbled loudly outside, clearly a thunderstorm going on.

“lorenzo, lorenzo!!” i shout, seeing a figure puffing out smoke, and looking my way.

he just looks at me, before turning on his heel, as i run up to him, tears welling up in my eyes. im not even sure why im crying, but i call out again.

“please, just hear me out. you can leave and never speak to me again after, but just hear me out, enzo.”

i watch him stop in his tracks as he turns around to face me. i exhale as i make eye contact with him.

“go on then.” is all he says, before i start rambling.

“im so so SO sorry. i should’ve never ghosted you, i was just scared of losing ron because he never had been mad at me like that before, i thought if he didnt see me around you he would be friends with me within the first day but he didnt, and im so stupid for it, and theres just.. something about you and i honestly, i honestly just missed you enzo. and yes, i know thats stupid because how can i? you know….”

because of my rambling, i missed how he started to walk closer to me, and suddenly i feel his large hands cup my face, as i trail off. he engulfs me in a soft kiss, that ignites sparks in my chest.

“its okay” he smiles at me, wiping the tears off my cheeks with his thumb. i immediately wrap my arms around his muscular build, crying. but they were tears of joy this time.

enzo grabs my hand, leading me into the courtyard area with no shelter, as rain hammers down onto us. he spins me around, as we ballroom dance in the pouring rain. the only sounds that could be heard were our laughs and the pattering of the rain on the paving stones. he leans in and we kiss, longer than the first time, but i can feel the genuine love in the kiss.

i smile against him, feeling the happiest ive felt in a while.

A/N: this took me a while to write for some reason, but i hope its okay, im still rusty at writing angst and fluff. 😭 btw its not proofread so sorry for mistakes or if a part doesn’t make sense!!

bad idea!

was such a bad idea, im totally fucked.

request by @lovetaylorrussellgrr

contains: fluff, angst a little bit

summary: when childhood bestfriend!mattheo wants to make his ex girlfriend jealous, and fake date you, you decide to go along with it. however, his ex might not be the only jealous one…

warnings: swearing (as usual), kissing, i dont think anything else??

“please?? can you just do this one favour for me? we’ve been friends for like, forever!!!” mattheo whined to you.

you were in the library, putting away some books you had used for your revision.

“no way! im not fake-dating you so you can date pansy again.” you say, finding the idea ridiculous.

“pleaseeee?” he suddenly grabbed your shoulders, shaking you roughly as he begged over and over again.

“oh my god, fine!” you say, as he lets go of you.

“you’re such a dick.” you put your final book away, walking out of the library, as he follows beside you.

“you know you love me.” he prods you, smirking smugly, as you roll your eyes.

“whatever. how are we gonna play this out? i mean, are we just going to make out infront of everyone or something?” you ask.

“okay, here’s the plan.”

you’re hanging out with enzo, draco, theodore, mattheo, and blaise in the courtyard, just before your first period. its not unusual to hang out with them, since you’ve known mattheo for such a long time, and theyre his best mates.

you fidget uncomfortably, listening to lorenzo’s new ludicrous story that happened to him one time, as thoughts race through your head.

how is mattheo so comfortable with this?

isnt it weird to him? i mean we’ve been bestfriends since our childhoods..

is he as nervous as me?

this seems like a bad idea..

you snap out of your daze, once you realise its time for class. you walk towards mattheo, your nerves fizzing and popping inside you like fireworks.

“hey, i’ll see you later okay? i gotta get to class.” you stick to the “script” as mattheo calls it, and lean in.

then, you two kiss. it starts off soft and slow, before he wraps his arms around you as it becomes more passionate. time seems to slow down as you become entranced in the embrace, before you come back to your senses and pull apart. that was definitely not part of the script..

“what the fuck?!” enzo shouts.

“jesus, you didnt have to eat her face off, she’s just going to class!” blaise exclaims.

“when did this even happen?” draco chimes in. the plan was working.

mattheo gives you a smile, with a glint of a smug look in his eyes as he nods his head to the side. you follow his gaze, and see pansy parkinson glaring at you both, as she stands with her new boyfriend. you feel glad that the plan is working, as you walk off towards your class.

it had been a month since you and mattheo’s “relationship” started up, and god, word spreads FAST in hogwarts. the whole of slytherin and gryffindor knew by the first day, ravenclaw and hufflepuff following behind after the second day, and the teachers on the fourth day. you had gained a lot of popularity and attention, and you didnt mind it most of the time, but sometimes it made you feel uneasy.

that month was full of makeouts, holding hands, going on dates (making sure pansy was where you guys were of course) , hugs, and lots more. and it seemed to be working!

you were sitting at a table in the great hall, during a study session with snape. you sat next to mattheo obviously, and the rest of his mates. you wondered if it was too obvious, what with how much time you’d been spending with him. you’d had like no break with eachother, every day was spent together.

“hey, matty?” you whisper, in order to not get caught by snape, who was in a bad mood (as usual).

“hm?”

“dont you think we’re being too.. obvious?”

“you’re just anxious, y/n. trust me, everything’s fine.” he whispers back, placing a hand on yours, as butterflies fluttered in your stomach.

you startled at the feeling, trying to shake it off.

this was your bestfriend, that you’d known since you were 5… there was nothing going on between you and him. and you didnt have feelings for him!! you couldnt… right?

you frowned. it seemed like the only thing he cared about was getting pansy back. this was the deal though, and you had to go along with it.

“y/n?” mattheo whispered again

“yes?”

“theres a party in the slytherin common room tonight, and we should both go, is that okay?”

“yeah, sure.” you reply, before a book slammed down on both of your heads, as you winced. snape swiftly walked away, and you both looked at eachother, stifling a giggle.

green lights blinded you, as music played at an ear-splitting volume, while you pushed through the crowd, trying to get to mattheo. you had another script you had to act out, and you took several shots of the probably very strong alcohol on display before it.

the thing is, you’d.. caught feelings. you knew it, and the only way you could push them away was being totally consumed by alcohol. that way, the sting of being broken up with in a fake relationship would hurt less to you.

every slight touch, every entrancing kiss, every fiery makeout made your feelings build up until you couldn’t take it anymore. you had to remind yourself that this was all an act, it meant nothing to mattheo. and.. that hurt. this whole thing was such a bad idea.

to be honest, you’d always known he was your crush. i mean, how couldnt you? he would always hug you when you were crying, and watch films with you whenever you wanted. you’d both fall asleep together, tangled up by the morning. he’d buy you your favourite foods and cravings when you were on your period, and kiss you softly on the forehead everytime he left the room or hugged.

and you guessed you’d been his crush. you were wrong.

you reached mattheo, shaking the thoughts and memories off, and he looked kind of.. unsure? his demeanour had changed a lot, and he seemed like he wanted to leave.

“okayyyyy, letsss do this.” you slur your words, grabbing him so he faces you.

“y/n, are you drunk?”

“i’m breaking up with you!!” you shriek, not caring to answer him.

he doesnt answer. he just looks at you plainly.

has he forgotten his script? you think.

“i just dont think its working. im inlove with… lorenzo!” you say in your drunken state.

the room erupts in gasps and hushed whispers. enzo whoops and high-fives blaise behind the crowd, before they come closer and see who is actually speaking. his jaw DROPS.

suddenly, pansy rushes forward to mattheo, crashing her lips onto his, as he’s taken by surprise. your eyes widen, and you frown, not processing the situation, since youre hammered.

“and you’re cheating on me?!” you scream.

you snatch a drink from someones hand next to you, throwing it all over him, before dropping the empty cup and walking out of the room, satisfied. you take some water with you, and sit down in an empty corridor, taking a few sips and sighing.

half an hour later, you hear the click-clack of footsteps getting closer to you. you’d sobered up quite a bit (after throwing up in the bathroom nearest to you), and looked around the corner expectantly.

“what the fuck, y/n? most of that wasnt part of the script. and why were you so drunk?”

“can you stop calling it that? im your girl- bestfriend, not an actor. anyway, you’ve got pansy now. im just tired of being dragged around and told what to do all the time.” you blurt out, praying he wouldnt catch the slip-up.

he sat down beside you.

“im sorry, y/n. i basically used you, and im a dick.”

“told you that already, many times.” you say, as you both laugh.

“i realised that at the party. i wanted to call it off, but you started saying stuff. i also realised something else-“

“im inlove with you!” you shriek. you didnt even know where you’d gotten that confidence from.

that was such a bad idea, im totally fucked.

he just sits there, dumbfounded. you fidget uncomfortably, wanting him to atleast answer you.

then, he puts his hand on your cheek. a soft kiss follows, and you can feel the love in this one. it wasnt like one of his put-on ones for pansy. no one was looking here. it was real.

“i love you.”

“really?” you ask.

“yes, you idiot.

“i love you too.”

“i mean, could you not tell?? all those films we watched, all the snacks i bought you, the valentines gifts that were ‘friendly’, etc etc. ive loved you since i was little.” he kisses your cheek as you smile.

“maybe this wasnt such a bad idea.”