i am losing you like i lose eyelashes: unknowingly and everywhere.
8 posts
Celestixlism - Celestial - Tumblr Blog
omg an nct writer!! looking forward to your works!
are you looking for mutuals btw hehe
yess i’d always love to have mutuals!! feel free to message me pls pls 🥹
a guide to the crushing abyss that is dating. / preview.
▹ pairing: na jaemin x fem reader ▹ genre: nevertheless!inspired, college!au, romance, angst and angst. ▹ summary: there are many fish in the sea but you never learned how to swim. also, sharks. a guide to the crushing abyss that is dating. ▹ author’s note: aha it's been a long time but i finally got a burst to work on this fic again! i'm like 10k in right now...will be done very soon (hopefully)... here's the preview for now! ▹ taglist: dm or ask to be added!
YOU'RE NOT SURE HOW THIS HAPPENED, between your previous roommate ditching you at a party to you setting up camp at a dining table surrounded by soju bottles to Na Jaemin taking a seat beside you.
“Fancy, seeing you again.” Jaemin settles down and gives you a smile.
“It seems like your kind of scenery this time, doesn’t it?” you quip back but nevertheless, still scooting a bit over to make room for him. It’s a party after all and you did have a decent amount of alcohol in your system.
He throws his head back and emits a chuckle. Your lips can’t help but curl up into a smile too.
“Want a drink?” Jeno offers, holding out an empty shot glass to Jaemin.
He nods his head before taking it. “Yeah, sure.”
“Pass me the other bottle too.”
You reach out your hand to grab the other bottle on the table before Jaemin places his hand over yours. “Nah, I got it. I’ll pour you a drink,” he says before moving to get the bottle and filling your glass to the brim before handing it back to you. His moves are fluid and you wonder if he’s had any to drink beforehand.
A phone rings and Jeno promptly stands up. “Wait, sorry I have to take a phone call.” Jeno excuses himself from the table and starts walking towards the balcony with his phone next to his ear.
“Cheers.” Jaemin raises a brow at you before touching your shot glass with his.
You nod your head before downing the shot. The familiar burn of alcohol slides down your throat while the bass of the music pounds in your ears.
“You should give me your number," Jaemin drawls.
You knit your brows together. “Why?”
“In case, we ever need to talk.” Still, he grins at you with his gaze steady.
“We don’t have class together anymore,” you point out, still confused. “Plus, didn’t I already ignore you enough at the library the other day?”
“Who says we have to talk about math? Unless you want to of course because I’m down to make theorems with you if you are,” he slowly drawls, leaning closer to you until your arms brush. “I like to think you were just giving me a hard time that day because I didn’t realize you were in my class last semester.”
You can’t help but emit a snort.
He’s relentless but maybe it’s the alcohol influencing your ability to make rational decisions and he is kinda cute, no-commitments and all, so you mindlessly pass him your phone over to him without another word.
Just because he has your number doesn’t mean he’s ever going to use it anyways.
“Perfect.” He flashes those pearly whites once more.
Maybe your perception of distance is a bit hazy because you could swear, he seems to be closer to you than before.
Your phone then rings and the screen lights up with his name.
“I’ll text you sometime.”
“Sure, whatever,” you reply dismissively before pouring yourself another shot of soju. The tangy taste of the artificial yakult flavour slides down your throat and your nose starts to burn the slightest bit.
“You have something in your hair.” He shifts and gently threads his fingers through the strands of your hair.
The alcohol dulls your senses and your rationality a bit but you still remember that this is Jaemin: the fucker of all and the lover of none.
“Thanks.” You blink back at him before moving back to create more distance between the two of you.
He grins back at you before lingering for a little while longer before wandering off. You think, if Jaemin is anything, he is the epitome of consistency.
𝐀 𝐆𝐔𝐈𝐃𝐄 𝐓𝐎 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐆 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄.
featuring nct dream’s ‘00 line
– a guide to the crushing abyss that is dating
summary: there are many fish in the sea but you never learned how to swim. also, sharks. a guide to the crushing abyss that is dating.
genre: nevertheless!themed, college!au, romance, and angst
playlist: teaser.
release date: coming soon!
– a guide to navigating the home life
summary: love, plastic, sharp knives and other harmful essentials. a guide to navigating the home life.
genre: college!au, neighbours!au, romance, and angst
playlist: TBA.
release date: coming soon!
– a guide to understanding the side effects of falling
summary: the side effects of falling in love: read carefully. a guide to understanding the side effects of falling.
genre: college!au, fratboy!haechan, romance, comedy, and angst
playlist: TBA.
release date: coming soon!
– a guide to the marvels of plot twists
summary: the way he says hello and then ignores you the whole day as you die inside (or as you die smiling). a guide to the marvels of plot twists.
genre: college!au, romance, and angst (more to be determined).
playlist: TBA.
release date: coming soon!
author’s note:
so here’s a way to pressure me into writing more. these are subjected to change btw (esp pics) but i’m pretty satisfied at the moment. teasers to come when i’ve made more progress but i’ve fleshed out the ideas for jaemin’s fic currently! i’m really excited about it ngl but the goal is like 10k+ for each fic so let’s see how it goes. also let me know what you think and which one you’re excited for!
𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓
txt series
coming soon!
yeonjun
➸ coming soon!
- - - ✄ college!au
– SUMMARY.
coming soon!
nct series
00’ line coming soon!
taeyong
cookie crumbs for affection
- - - ✄ drabble, angst, and heartbreak
– SUMMARY.
there isn’t any recipe to make someone you love, fall in love with you too.
jaehyun
➸ love with strings attached
- - - ✄ college!au, soulmate!au, and angst
– SUMMARY.
their love quite literally comes with strings attached.
coming soon!
jaemin
➸ fallingforyou
- - - ✄ drabble, college!au, fluff, and concert scenario
– SUMMARY.
i don’t want to be your friend anymore, i want to kiss your neck.
➸ coming soon!
- - - ✄ nevertheless!themed, college!au, romance, and angst
— SUMMARY.
coming soon! part of a 00’ series.
jeno
➸ left behind for a revolution
- - - ✄ revolution!au, angst, angst and angst
– SUMMARY.
the boy she loves leaves her for a revolution.
coming soon!
- - - ✄ college!au, romance, and angst.
— SUMMARY.
coming soon! part of a 00’ series.
author’s note:
here’s to more in the future.
fallingforyou
▹ pairing: na jaemin x fem reader ▹ genre: drabble, college!au, fluff, and concert scenario ▹ summary: i don’t want to be your friend anymore, i want to kiss your neck. ▹ author’s note: i was listening to the 1975′s live shows on youtube and got inspired by the performance of somebody else with that purple aesthetic and that overall dreamy melancholic vibe? idk it would be so cute to be there with your crush so i’m back into writing again...there’s going to be more drabbles coming your way lol
you really don’t mean to develop a crush or to become infatuated. as almost eveything in college does, it simply just happened.
the universe decided its course and dragged you into this mess but you can’t really complain because now you’re at a the 1975 concert with your best friend.
“jaemin, i’m doing to pass out blessed tonight,” you laugh over the loud beats of the drums and the strum of the bass.
the concert is messy and chaotic, but a dream all at once. it’s much too crowded in here and the girl next to you keeps ramping her elbow in your arm as she tries to film the band with her ridiculously low quality phone camera.
he can’t hear you over the music and his eyes are fixated on the band before you two.
still, the moment takes your breath away and you can’t help but feel your heart beat in time with the music. is the thundering in your chest coming from the song or from your heartbeats?
he turns to you because it’s your song—correction, your song with jaemin. it’s song that brought you together for the first time as you just so happened to find that someone that loved the 1975 just as much as you did when he accidentally blasted somebody else in the middle of a multivariable calculus lecture because he didn’t realize his airpods had run out of battery already.
his lips curve into that attractive smile that you know so well (and maybe have already permanently etched in your long term memory).
your breath hitches in your throat for different reasons now.
“hey...” he says something but you can’t hear the rest of his words.
stupidly, you still nod your head despite being unable to hear the rest of his thoughts.
and maybe it’s the way he’s looking at you with that intensity in his gaze or the unknowingly soft smile on your face that you’re giving him.
your heart does some flip flops in your chest.
fuck. you really thought you couldn’t possibly be more screwed, but somehow, he makes your feelings intensify with a single look.
you really don’t remember when it changed but maybe that’s what falling feels like. they’re your best friend and then suddenly, they’re all you can think about. then, you’re falling for them.
he’s in the music you listen to while studying for multivariable calculus and in the fond memories of laughter on your couch when you force him to watch another season of superstore and he willingly complies because you asked him to.
he leans down and closer—
your brain stops functioning.
jaemin kisses you beneath the soft glow of the fluorescent purple lights of the stadium with the bass thundering in the background, the leader singer’s raspy drawl of the lyrics in your ears, and his fingers threaded through your hair.
you’re sitting in his car as he drives you back home.
the moonlight gently filters into the car through the windows. there’s a faint glow on his face and you’ve been wearing this ridiculously stupid smile on your face for the entire time.
“so like should our new song be fallingforyou?” he asks. shooting you an amused look, definitely noticing the smile that has been plastered on your face while his hands have been firmly planted on the wheel.
you knit your brows together before shaking your head. “no, we can’t forget the song that earned you the most embarrassment in class and brought us together.” your tone is teasing as you recall the fond memory.
(the tips of his ears were burning red with embarrassment after he struggled to mute his laptop while everyone in the lecture hall were shooting him stares. unknown to you at the time but jaemin was never good at being shameless in class despite coming across as shameless to all his friends outside of lectures.
“to be honest, you chose the best song to play. somebody else is my all-time favourite song by the 1975. i mean, if you’re going to rebel in class, you might as well do it in style right?” you speak while packing up the rest of your stationary so you can go to your next class.
“yeah, if only the professor could have the same good taste.”
you emit a laugh and then he grins at you. you swear, you would have never thought the boy who sits next to you in lectures would ever end up being this cute to you.)
“but i don’t wanna be your friend anymore, i wanna kiss your neck,” jaemin leans over during the red light and drawls in your ear.
your skin heats and you think that you may have to reconsider your favourite song now.
cookie crumbs for affection
▹ pairing: lee taeyong x fem reader ▹ genre: drabble, roomate!au, angst and angst ▹ summary: there isn’t any recipe to make someone you love, fall in love with you too. ▹ author’s note: lol welcome to my random scenarios.
“did you bake again?” he scampers into your shared dorm with a boyish grin plastered on his face. he beelines for the table where the fresh pastries and delicacies are usually placed whenever you satisfy the itch in your body that urges you to bake.
“cookies.” you nod in reply, waiting expectantly for his opinion as you experimented with a new recipe today, using maple syrup instead of honey and adding a bit of orange zest for a more citric flavour to match the sweetness of the syrup.
he gingerly takes a bite of the treat.
his eyes crinkle into crescent moons. giving a thumbs up, he flashes a lipped beam as he continues to devour the cookies one by one.
it fills you with warmth as always. it spreads across your body and tugs at the edges of your lips until you can’t resist smiling any longer.
you just hope the pastries he ate would give him the same kind of feeling as he gave you. warmth. affection. loved.
* * *
except in life, things don’t always go the way we want. love isn’t like a pastry that you can make and perfect with time. there isn’t any recipe to make someone you love, fall in love with you too.
* * *
he comes back to the dorm with a new girl.
he’s been doing it for months now. they come and go. sometimes they leave smiles permanently plastered on his face for hours or little giddy feelings in his steps.
except this one starts to remain longer than the others. she takes up movie nights, dinner hang-outs with friends, and even, the nights where he should be in the dorm but he isn’t.
somehow the empty plate residing dangerously on the edge of the table seems to resemble you — nearly hanging on to the edge but feet still firmly planted on the surface, wavering between wanting to leave and stay. an empty feeling fills your chest for the countless time.
eventually, you learn not to bake anymore.
taeyong asks you why and you tell him it was nothing more than a phase as if your hobbies were nothing more than activities to pass time, slowly forgotten within days; you say you lost interest but it was nothing more than clockwork.
part of you wishes your love for him would be the same.
ok honestly you just made my day. i’m so touched ? ? ? i didn’t even know people looked at my fics (especially since i did this on a whim in much shorter time than i would have liked to admit) but i’m honestly so happy you enjoyed! thank you for the kind words 🥰
left for a revolution
title: left for a revolution
pairing: jeno & reader
genre: angst, angst, angst
summary: the boy she loves leaves her for a revolution.
author’s note: a small drabble i wrote while procrastinating. loosely based off revolution novels - not rlly historical based and purposely very vague as it is left for your interpretation.
He was her entire galaxy. The stars were smeared in his hair, moon dust filled his lungs, and she never knew the universe had a flavor until she kissed him. He may not have conquered the sun, but he had already conquered her heart years ago.
She thinks she’s always been in love with Lee Jeno. It has been a fundamental part of her since she was five.
She just wishes their circumstances were different — that he wasn’t the rebel with a hero complex and she wasn’t the pacifist with helpless parents weighting down on her shoulders.
Now, she won’t ever see how good old age looks on him. She won’t hear the sleepy words he murmurs under his breath when he thinks she’s asleep. The endearing behaviour he exhibits whenever he’s drunk past his tolerance level.
(”Hold me,” he whines in her ear, stumbling over his steps. His hands reach for her, tightly curling his fingers into the edge of her shirt.
She interlaces their fingers together while muffling a chuckle. Pressing a small kiss on the corner of his mouth which earns her a satisfied smile from him.
“Alright, alright, you big baby,” she gently teases, running her fingers through the dark strands of his hair. He instinctively leans into her touch.
“But I’m your baby.” He crookedly grins back with adoration emitting from his gaze.)
“I’m sorry,” he mutters, grasping her tightly to his chest. There’s a tightening sensation gripping her heart and she’s suffocating. The air escapes her lungs and she feels like she’s grabbing on to a mirage of a lifeline, falling into an endless pit of utter oblivion. She drowns in his embrace, his touch, his presence, the tears falling down his face which intermix with the ones on hers, because this is the last time she’ll ever see him again.
He promises to return, but they both know, it’s nothing but a lie. She inhales a shaking breath, her mind zeroing on him—trying to memorize every edge, curve, and fragment of him. A memory is only thing she can keep.
And eventually, she’ll forget the brown tint of his irises, the way his eyes crinkle into small crescent moons when he’s happy, the sound of his laughter when he finds her little shenanigans amusing especially when it ends up with a kiss on his nose and cheek, and the soft but steady drum of his heartbeat that beats in time with hers.
The boy she loves leaves her for a revolution and she doesn’t think she can ever forgive him for that.
left for a revolution
title: left for a revolution
pairing: jeno & reader
genre: angst, angst, angst
summary: the boy she loves leaves her for a revolution.
author’s note: a small drabble i wrote while procrastinating. loosely based off revolution novels - not rlly historical based and purposely very vague as it is left for your interpretation.
He was her entire galaxy. The stars were smeared in his hair, moon dust filled his lungs, and she never knew the universe had a flavor until she kissed him. He may not have conquered the sun, but he had already conquered her heart years ago.
She thinks she’s always been in love with Lee Jeno. It has been a fundamental part of her since she was five.
She just wishes their circumstances were different — that he wasn’t the rebel with a hero complex and she wasn’t the pacifist with helpless parents weighting down on her shoulders.
Now, she won’t ever see how good old age looks on him. She won’t hear the sleepy words he murmurs under his breath when he thinks she’s asleep. The endearing behaviour he exhibits whenever he’s drunk past his tolerance level.
(”Hold me,” he whines in her ear, stumbling over his steps. His hands reach for her, tightly curling his fingers into the edge of her shirt.
She interlaces their fingers together while muffling a chuckle. Pressing a small kiss on the corner of his mouth which earns her a satisfied smile from him.
“Alright, alright, you big baby,” she gently teases, running her fingers through the dark strands of his hair. He instinctively leans into her touch.
“But I’m your baby.” He crookedly grins back with adoration emitting from his gaze.)
“I’m sorry,” he mutters, grasping her tightly to his chest. There’s a tightening sensation gripping her heart and she’s suffocating. The air escapes her lungs and she feels like she’s grabbing on to a mirage of a lifeline, falling into an endless pit of utter oblivion. She drowns in his embrace, his touch, his presence, the tears falling down his face which intermix with the ones on hers, because this is the last time she’ll ever see him again.
He promises to return, but they both know, it’s nothing but a lie. She inhales a shaking breath, her mind zeroing on him—trying to memorize every edge, curve, and fragment of him. A memory is only thing she can keep.
And eventually, she’ll forget the brown tint of his irises, the way his eyes crinkle into small crescent moons when he’s happy, the sound of his laughter when he finds her little shenanigans amusing especially when it ends up with a kiss on his nose and cheek, and the soft but steady drum of his heartbeat that beats in time with hers.
The boy she loves leaves her for a revolution and she doesn’t think she can ever forgive him for that.