Am Dead? Heaven This? Me Screm?

am dead? heaven this? me screm?

early morning

*screaming in silence*

🥊❤️✨

mY HEART-

still can’t get over him…

63 with Vik (ofc) and V 👉🏼👈🏼

63. “Stop running from this. I know I’m not the only one who feels it.” i’m. really sorry.

Vik follows V through his apartment, rubbing a hand over his neck as he watches her collect her things. They'd spent the night together; one thing leading to another on his couch, sipping wine and sharing a laugh. Next thing he knew, he was buried inside the girl of his dreams. Vik knows he wont soon forget the relief-filled smile V had shown him, breathing the word finally against his mouth. All in all, pretty fantastic evening.

The next morning, however, offered a chance for him to really think it through, falling deep into his own melancholy as he sat next to the open window, smoking one of her cigarettes and watching her sleep in his bed. Vik knew he wanted to wake up to that sight every morning for the rest of his life, but -

But this is V. She's young, and beautiful, and has her whole goddamn life ahead of her. No way was he gonna shackle her to an old ripper like him. He loves her, so fucking much. He won't be responsible for holding her back.

When she woke up and he gently nudged her in the direction of maybe we keep this a one-time thing, she took exception to that. The heartbreak and rage lighting up her face and making her chest heave will be seared in his mind for a long time, he knows.

Presently, V shoves herself into her boots, turning towards him with a shake of her head. Her eyes travel over his torso, still shirtless from bed. She quickly shakes her head, crossing her arms over her chest. "One time thing. Right. So, what, exactly; you just wanted to get your dick wet?"

"What? Christ, V, of course not. You know you mean more to me than that," Vik responds with incredulity, running a hand down his face. He has to make her understand, somehow.

V snorts loudly, holding her head in her hands. Her stomach is near her ankles, she thinks, turning towards the door and picking up her bag. "Right. Yeah. Silly me, thinking you don't want me after dropping a bomb like that."

"V -"

"Am I not - enough?" Her voice is near a whisper as she stares straight at the door, shoulders hunched. "'Cause I know I'm not the only one who feels like this. I know I'm not only seeing what I want to see. You feel it, too. So are you saying this, because I'm - I'm too much to handle, or not enough to love?" I will not cry, I will not cry.

"Because you deserve so much fucking more," Vik says, sounding desperate. V turns on her heel, incredulous, and Vik looks at her with a pleading expression, shaking his head. "You're moving up in this world, and got a hell of a life ahead of you. You're gonna want so much more from this life, sweetheart."

"You're so fucking blind, you know that?" V throws her hands up in exasperation, chuckling without humor. She can feel her heart sinking, eager to join her stomach. "None of it means shit to me, none of it - not my rep, not the eddies; all of it is fucking worthless. What matters to me is sharing my life with the man I -" Her throat closes, and she turns from him with a shake of her head, breathing hard.

"You can do so much better than an old man like me," Vik says after a minute, palm pressed to the side of his face as he watches her.

"I've never cared about that. I care about you, I want you." V runs a hand back through her hair, looking at him with a hard glint to her eye. "Look me in the eye and tell me you don't want me, and we can drop this whole thing."

He's silent as they stare each other down. Both too damn stubborn for their own good. The longer the silence stretches, the more her heart sinks. V finally laughs, breathless and without humor, as Vik's hand curls into a fist at his side. She bites down on her tongue, hard enough to taste copper, as she turns from him to head to the door.

"I only want what's best for you, sweetheart."

V shakes her head at his words, swallowing down her tears as the shame and rejection bubble to the surface. "You are such a fucking coward," is all she calls over her shoulder before slamming the door.

He doesn't follow.

More Viktor headcanons because I’m trash for this beautiful man:

There are some Vik/V too... Hope there aren't many errors... anyways. ENJOY.

TIRED BISEXUAL DISASTER™

We know this already but this guy is H U G E - 6'3, whoopin' healthy 219lbs and bUILD LIKE A TANK.

I think he's around 48-52 years old.

"I can't, I'm old."

Look I know what I said about socks but hear me out... Vik 100% has a collection of those silly ties with cartoon characters like pokemon etc... he likes that blue one with cats best...

He knew V was special when he finished installing their first implant after they first met and shot him with "So, do I get a lollipop for bein' a brave patient, doc?" with that cheeky smirk of theirs... even if just for shits and giggles Vik actually gave them their lollipop the next time they visited his clinic. "Fine, you my fave doc now, won't go anywhere else."

He has Hamsa and evil eye tattoo on his left pectoral, Misty told him that it meant protection from evil and he thought it fitting as a symbol of starting his career as a ripperdoc - he saves lives after all.

Viktor smokes. Not very often, sometimes he can go several days without cigarettes but if the day at clinic is hard or gods forbid he lost a patient... he smokes like a chimney. By some mysterious coincidence he started smoking even more when V came along. I wonder why?

He genuinely enjoys V's company. He LOVES when they just sit at the clinic and talk or even just sit in silence. Their presence is really refreshing for this old doc.

Once Viktor, Misty, Jackie and V went to actually eat IN the restaurant. Misty and Vik casually sat and talked but, of course, Jack and V had a sword fight with chopsticks and Vik asked the waiter for two regular menus and for two menus for kids. After V called him "dad", "pops" or... wait for it... "daddy" for the rest of the evening, Viktor never made the mistake of going out to eat with V. Both V and Jackie still bring it up sometimes much to doc's dismay. Takeout is much safer option now.

Guess who is the one to always pick up horrendously drunk merc duo at 4am in the middle of the week. Yup. It's Viktor. Usually they wait for him outside, sitting on the pavement, arms on each others shoulders, singing love songs. Sometimes they burst in tears when they see Vik "coz youre the best friend I've had Viky", "yea, doc, there no other like ya".

Dad jokes. That's it.

UNGODLY ALCOHOL TOLERANCE. THIS MAN CAN DRINK AND DRINK AND DRINK AND SAY HES JUST TIPSY. Jackie? Under the table. V? Babbling something about "hopin' there is real afterlife" while hugging toilet bowl. Viktor? Checking if Jack still breathes and holding V's hair if necessary. "Amateurs" he thinks.

One of his most beloved possessions is a teddy bear. A gift from V. A they had put it "for caring for people around you and so you don't feel too lonely here in clinic and, well, for being you". Little fluffy fella has a special place in Vik's heart as well as on his couch right beside the boxing gloves.

No one keeps secrets like he does.

He takes GREAT pride in being the only person who knows V's real name.

Also he's the person who saw V at their most vulnerable. Bleeding, bruised, beaten, drunk, crying.

As true to their promise as they are, he thinks V's loyalty is amusing and rather sweet but also dangerous bUT V JUST WON'T GO TO ANY OTHER RIPPER. Found some new chrome somewhere else? They bought it and had it delivered to Vik's. Small repairs? Go to Vik's. Bleeding out somewhere in Pacifica? Go to Vik's. He swears he will strangle them himself one day.

Nicknames. Doll, Sweetheart, Champ, Captain, Big Guy, Charmer, Knock Out, Honey, Sweet pea, Cupcake, Pumpkin... I COULD GO ON FOREVER.

Usually it's Misty to find him sleeping on his desk but when it's V and Jack... well... let's say sharpie can be pain in the ass to wash off from your face.

Jackie got him pink gauges with daisies. As a joke. HA! Jokes on you Jack. He wears them. P R O U D L Y.

My man loves whisky. Nothing like late friday evening and a glass of liquid gold with ice.

Once, when V was keeping him company at clinic after he closed, he tried to be smooth (we all know the way he moves with that chair on wheels of his)... long story short he misjudged the distance from chair and he fell on his ass with a loud *T H U D*. He sat like that for some time. "Oh my god! Vik, are you ok?" "Yeah, yeah, just... give me a moment..." And that was the end of "Smooth Vik".

Officially Misty is his emotional support spiritualist. Unofficially V is his emotional support idiot merc, but also, like, the cause of most of his frustrations. JESUS V TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF IS THAT YOUR ARM THAT YOURE CARRYING IS THAT ANOTHER BULLET WOUND FOR FUCKS SAKE HOW ARE YOU STILL ALIVE ILL KILL YOU MYSELF I SWEAR. Smeone just give him a hug please.

Even if we don't get Viktor romance (the pain, the struggle) I think they should add random calls and texts from him. I mean, come on, they are close friends. Viktor 100% would call or text V to ask how they feel, if the Relic acts up and to remind them of their appointment. Give us some stupid inside jokes, maybe some texts giving some insight on their dynamic, memories of some stupid things Jack and V did. Doc would also text V to be careful and V could reply with something along the lines of "ok mom" or something like that.