Haha Ouch - Tumblr Posts
63 with Vik (ofc) and V šš¼šš¼
63. āStop running from this. I know Iām not the only one who feels it.ā iām. really sorry.
Vik follows V through his apartment, rubbing a hand over his neck as he watches her collect her things. They'd spent the night together; one thing leading to another on his couch, sipping wine and sharing a laugh. Next thing he knew, he was buried inside the girl of his dreams. Vik knows he wont soon forget the relief-filled smile V had shown him, breathing the word finally against his mouth. All in all, pretty fantastic evening.
The next morning, however, offered a chance for him to really think it through, falling deep into his own melancholy as he sat next to the open window, smoking one of her cigarettes and watching her sleep in his bed. Vik knew he wanted to wake up to that sight every morning for the rest of his life, but -
But this is V. She's young, and beautiful, and has her whole goddamn life ahead of her. No way was he gonna shackle her to an old ripper like him. He loves her, so fucking much. He won't be responsible for holding her back.
When she woke up and he gently nudged her in the direction of maybe we keep this a one-time thing, she took exception to that. The heartbreak and rage lighting up her face and making her chest heave will be seared in his mind for a long time, he knows.
Presently, V shoves herself into her boots, turning towards him with a shake of her head. Her eyes travel over his torso, still shirtless from bed. She quickly shakes her head, crossing her arms over her chest. "One time thing. Right. So, what, exactly; you just wanted to get your dick wet?"
"What? Christ, V, of course not. You know you mean more to me than that," Vik responds with incredulity, running a hand down his face. He has to make her understand, somehow.
V snorts loudly, holding her head in her hands. Her stomach is near her ankles, she thinks, turning towards the door and picking up her bag. "Right. Yeah. Silly me, thinking you don't want me after dropping a bomb like that."
"V -"
"Am I not - enough?" Her voice is near a whisper as she stares straight at the door, shoulders hunched. "'Cause I know I'm not the only one who feels like this. I know I'm not only seeing what I want to see. You feel it, too. So are you saying this, because I'm - I'm too much to handle, or not enough to love?" I will not cry, I will not cry.
"Because you deserve so much fucking more," Vik says, sounding desperate. V turns on her heel, incredulous, and Vik looks at her with a pleading expression, shaking his head. "You're moving up in this world, and got a hell of a life ahead of you. You're gonna want so much more from this life, sweetheart."
"You're so fucking blind, you know that?" V throws her hands up in exasperation, chuckling without humor. She can feel her heart sinking, eager to join her stomach. "None of it means shit to me, none of it - not my rep, not the eddies; all of it is fucking worthless. What matters to me is sharing my life with the man I -" Her throat closes, and she turns from him with a shake of her head, breathing hard.
"You can do so much better than an old man like me," Vik says after a minute, palm pressed to the side of his face as he watches her.
"I've never cared about that. I care about you, I want you." V runs a hand back through her hair, looking at him with a hard glint to her eye. "Look me in the eye and tell me you don't want me, and we can drop this whole thing."
He's silent as they stare each other down. Both too damn stubborn for their own good. The longer the silence stretches, the more her heart sinks. V finally laughs, breathless and without humor, as Vik's hand curls into a fist at his side. She bites down on her tongue, hard enough to taste copper, as she turns from him to head to the door.
"I only want what's best for you, sweetheart."
V shakes her head at his words, swallowing down her tears as the shame and rejection bubble to the surface. "You are such a fucking coward," is all she calls over her shoulder before slamming the door.
He doesn't follow.
Day 99, and I am reminded of code 99...
And I am not ok.
Because, obviously, I cannot count.
And we also have lost Tech.
someone needs to check up on the author of diary of a wimpy kid bc what if his publishing company is holding him hostage
AAAAAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA-
I can't draw ties...
The Inocculator. OUCH!
@smilealways
You care so much you feel as though you will bleed to death with the pain of it.
ā J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. (via luciferifilia)
this hurt more than it should š
A letter Dorcas wrote after Marleneās death
Dear Marlene,
Iāve been feeling lonely these past few days, you know? The world has turned grey since you left. Mary tried to convince me to leave my bed for days now but I just canāt pull myself together although I should. The blankets still smell like you and your clothes are scattered around the room. I havenāt taken off your red sweater you love so much. Correction, you šš°š·š¦š„ so much.
It feels like the door could open every second and youād come back home, back to me. But everyone is telling me that itās not possible. Why? Why did you have a to leave so suddenly? We had plans, remember? I couldnāt even be with you in your last moments. I couldnāt say good bye, kiss you one last time, here your voice one last time, hold your hand this one last time.
This war has been hard from the beginning but at least we had each other. Now youāre gone and Iām alone. It hurts to see Lily and James holding onto each other like theyāre the only oneās left in this world, it hurts seeing Alice and Frank kiss goodbye and it hurts seeing Remus and Sirius falling asleep on the sofa late at night. I know I shouldnāt be jealous, I should be happy theyāre happy together. But how am I supposed to look at them when I lost the person who was the one keeping me going? They donāt understand.
You left me.
The light of my life, blown out by a simple flick of someoneās wand. Whoever that wand belonged to, I will find and kill them without hesitation. Revenge will make me feel better, right?
I know itās not your fault, you didnāt choose to die, nor did your family. You know whatās weird? I miss your momās crazy cakes. And your dadās stupid jokes. Especially the one he made up at the dinner table four weeks ago, that one stuck with me.
You know what Iām most scared of? Itās not Voldemort or his death eaters, itās forgetting. Forgetting about you, all those little details. Your smile, your voice, your smell, your kisses and hugs. I feel like Iām just half me without you, like you took a part of my soul with you into the unknown darkness. Thatās why Iām wearing that damn sweater of yours although the holes in it are getting bigger with every hour youāre not here. To have you around me so I can recall what it felt like to be with you.
Iām sorry I couldnāt keep my promise. I remember my exact words: āWeāll survive this war, take our families and live a happy life somewhere safe. I promise.ā I held your face in both of my hands and you just nodded silently. You tried to believe my words even though we both were aware of how threatening the situation would be. Were we too young for this?
You were my first and last love and I will never let you go. I donāt regret a moment we have spent together but if I could, I would go back in time and do everything possible to save you. I would sacrifice myself for you to be alive. I love you, forever and endlessly.
Until we meet again, Dorcas
P.S.: Harry asked for Aunt Cas, he misses you a lot.
