,,, IRRATIONALLY RATIONAL

,,, IRRATIONALLY RATIONAL

TOXIC!KYLE BROFLOVZKI X F!READER

SFW One-zhot!

DIZCLAIMER: zo, i wrote thiz zo long ago for my first ever tumblr account, but then my friendz found that account and i got embarrazzed and deleted the two thingz i wrote for that account. ion think i have the second one on a google doc (it was a kyle and ztan (zeparate) x reader with a zweet tooth (I'll pozt it if i find it)). i just don't want thiz sitting on a google doc that i'm never gonna uze again. zo if you feel like you've read thiz before, i bet you have. p.z., i'm not revizing it zo when i come back i can zee how far i've come with my writing

WARNINGZ: menzionz of alcohol, fighting wordz, no real zolution, angzt with no comfort, the uze of the word 'cunt', implied abusive mom

Anonymous asked:

could you write a toxic Kyle x fem reader 🤔? I've never seen anyone do it I mean he's not all so innocent himself, he's a bit of an ass lmao

I also just came up with this on the spot 😓 !!

I sigh at the rain as it hits my delicate skin harshly. I ran through the streets of South Park trying to cover myself with my school bag, however, it wasn't doing me any good. I was still drenched. My clothes clung to my body as I rushed to my most beloved boyfriend's house, Kyle Broflovski. Of course, I just had been naïve enough to take my mom up on her offer, which was to take me to and pick me up from school, take me to work, pick me back up, and then drive us home. How stupid of me. To even conceive she'll be sober enough to even pick up the fucking phone.

Oh well. It's her loss anyway.

It only takes roughly five minutes of running to make it from Tweek Bros. Coffeehouse to Kyles’ house. His house was rather modest, it looks like any other ordinary house on the block, besides the color. I bolt up the three steps leading up to his front door, almost tripping over the second step with how fast I am moving. When I hop on the third step, I start rapidly banging on the door, my breath staggering out of my mouth.

I watch the door creak open before fully opening, the person on the other side being Kyle, his eyes trailing over my body. His face distorts into one of confusion, “[Name]? Why are you not home?” I lean on the doorframe, my heart pounding from the mad dash. 

“Ough ough, I’ll tell you, can I come in first?” I hack through labored breaths, a loud crack coming out from the skyline. He nods and moves aside, making enough room for me to walk through the door. Kyle quietly shuts the door as I stumble into his house. I gave him a small peck on his cheek before he gripped my hand and dragged me through his living room. Ike, Kyle’s younger brother, was sitting on the couch watching McNeil Lehrer Report, which comes on every night at ten. I give him a small wave and he deftly puts his hand in the air dismissively and turns back to the monotone man on the TV.

We quickly make it up to his room, my goosebumps finally catching up with me. The familiar—yet not so welcomed—feeling forming all over. Kyle ushers me into his room, basically shoving me in there. 

“Jeez,” I mutter, walking over to his closet and turning to him. I gingerly set my bag on the closet door, hoping nothing got wet on the inside. “Can I borrow some of your clothes?” I ask, going to take a hoodie or two even if he said no.

“Yeah, but why aren’t you home?” Kyle said, a look of disgust coming across his face. 

I let out a breathy chuckle, “Yeah,” I cleared my throat, “Long story short. My mom wasn’t picking up the phone, so I just ran over here.” I slide open his closet doors, pick out a black hoodie and gray sweatpants, and throw them on his bed. “God, she’s such a cunt, and not in a good way,” I groan, turning back to face Kyle. 

“Well, that’s your fault, isn’t it? Don’t blame your mom for your poor planning.”

“Oh,” I laugh, “I’ve accidentally left a bra here, right?” I ask, just trying to get away from his questions.

“Yeah, it’s in my desk drawer.”

I watch him stride over and pull it out of the top drawer before throwing it on the bed with his clothes. “But seriously,” I yawn, “I’m so fucking pissed she couldn’t even stay sober for one night.”

“Oh, you’ll be fine. You’re just too sensitive, you’ll get over it.”

I tilt my head to the side, my lips slightly parting. I mean, he’s said that before but why does it hurt so fucking bad? “I’m too sensitive…?” I repeated back to him, not knowing what to do. My jaw opens slightly and my eyebrows scrunch together. The pain I feel in my heart went from a dull throb to an unbearable, gnarly stab, coming to me in multiple waves. His words hurt, and I have no idea why. 

“Mhm, yeah, you just, I don’t know, overreact to all the small things. Not to mention how forgetful you are.” Kyle lists off. He shrugs as he flops down on his bed. “So, really, you’re just being hypocritical, criticizing your mom like that when you’re just like her.”

My lips turn to a scowl at his words, “I’m not an incompetent, waste of space, alcoholic, believe it or not.” I say, my tone just being perturbed and angry. He sits up and peers into my eyes, his face covered with an “okay, and?” look to it.

This only made me scoff, “I don't even know what to say to you.” I feel tears sting my eyes, the droplets threatening to fall. “You know what, I’m just going to change and then text someone to come take me home. I can’t deal with this right now.” I shake my head, the clothes clinging to my body being uncomfortably tight.

“What?” He laughed, standing back up from the bed. “What the hell did I do?” Kyle asked, throwing his hands in the air. 

“If I try to tell you while you’re in whatever mood this is, I’m going to be irrational. So I’ll talk to you in the morning.” I walk over and snatch the clothes off his bed and then to my school bag lying on his closet door.

 I hear him scoff, “Yeah, go ahead, run away from your responsibilities like you always do!”

“No Kyle,” I snap, wiping my body toward him, “You know what I’m doing? I’m being responsible and trying to salvage this relationship!” I feel the warm tears streak down my face, but they don’t deter me. “We don’t reason in the heat of the moment. I mean, I can tell you’re irritated right now, that’s why you said that dumb shit.” I cry out, loud, but not loud enough for anyone else to hear.

I let out an agitated sigh and place my hands on my hips, putting my weight on my right leg. I see his face contort into one of anguish and compunction, while mine, as far as I know, was filled with ire. I turn my back to him and snatch my bag, walking to the door before I pause at the voice behind me. 

“I’m sorry…”

we all love u man!!

,,, EVERYTHING ALL IN ONE PLACE

Mazter Lizt

One-Zhotz ━ ( 0 / 5 Zlotz Open ) Art ━ ( 4 / 5 Zlotz Open )

,,, Ztanley "Ztan" Marzh

; ztan x fem!reader x craig headcanonz | zfw&nzfw

,,, Craig Tucker

; ztan x fem!reader x craig headcanonz | zfw&nzfw

,,, Kyle Broflovzki

; "Irrationally Rational" | toxic kyle x fem!reader

longer ztoriez ,,, it'z quiet here

Rulez to Follow

Az Long az You Follow Theze Zimple Rulez, You'll Be A-Okay In My Book!!

everything to do with requeztz NOTE: theze can change on the regular zo make zure to check in with them!

Zee What'z Coming Next

Want to Know if You Zhould Look Forward to an Pozt or if Your Requezt iz Going to Be Done? Thiz iz Your Place!

Click Me!

Get to Know Me

If You Ever Have Any Queztionz about Me, Feel Free to Put Zomething In My Inbox!

hi! my name iz vega, and i'm zo glad you have found your way to my blog! My pronounz are they/zhe with a preference for they/them! i'm a pretty buzy perzon zo i'm zo zorry if your requezt izn't done in a timely manner!! believe it or not, i have a life outzide of tumblr, and az much az i love writing and drawing, practicing for my band and zchool will alwayz come firzt. zorry not zorry. i'll write when it comez to me, my mental health iz zhit right now, zorry chat :/

Tagz

I Might Forget to Put Zomething on the Mazter Lizt Zo Zearch My Blog With Certain Tagz to (hopefully) Get What You're Looking For.

#➥ vega yapz ,,, i talk about anything and everything #➥ vega'z art ,,, any type of art i pozt #➥ vega'z mutualzᡣ𐭩 ,,, my beautiful mutualz #➥ vega'z perzonal opioinz ,,, maybe a rant or any debate zomeone wantz to have with me #➥ life updatez ,,, i want to zhare my life with you, and i will! #➥ boo!!! ,,, one of my bezt friendz, boo!! (@boothyghost) #➥ noah | boo'z oc ,,, it'z boo'z oc, noah!! zhow him zome love!! (@boothyghost)

I just wanted to say you seem really cool :3

AHHHHHHHH THANK YOU ZO MUCH!!! you do too!!! >:3 <3

can I get uh…

Stan x Fem!Reader x Craig SFW & NSFW poly relationship headcanons pls 🙏 ?

take ur time & hope ur doing well :3

,,, HEADCANONZ

Ztanley Marzh x F!Reader x Craig Tucker

ZFW & NZFW Dating Headcanonz!

DIZCLAIMER: headcanonz are hard for me to write, zo i will only write headcanonz for my mutualz. alzo, ztan might juzt be the hardezt character for me to write, zo i zend my deepezt apologiez to moon if it'z not up to her ztandardz alzo i think i lied when i zaid there waz gonna be more nzfw headcanonz than zfw- i went a little overboard teehee. i'm zozozozo zorry if it zeemz ruzhed!!!

WARNINGZ: pet namez, mentionz of zex, zub&dom mentionz, mentionz of threezomez, waizt grabbing, implied p in v & p in a, ztaig mentionz

ZFW

; How did you three get together?

; You most likely forgot all about each other, luckily enough, Bebe wanted to have a little get-together with all her friends from high school (my dumbazz couldn't think of anything elze-)

; After maybe a year or so of catching up, becoming friends, and then developing crushes on each other, confessions are made

; I feel like Craig would fall first, and confess first

; Craig was definitely on the more open-minded side of being in a poly relationship, Stan, still being open-minded, but a little reluctant

; Being reluctant only because of what others might think, he's a little paranoid

; But, you need not worry, after weighing the pros and cons of dating both you and Craig, he agreed to the proposal

; The relationship is... rocky—at first

; They both have some issues to work out, everyone does

; But everything's better when you work it out in a group

; As long as you're patient with them, the relationship will turn out just fine

; After a couple months, and everyone figures out how the relationship works, it definitely goes from rocky to chaotic

; In a good way!

; Stan is more on the affectionate side, wanting to shower you and Craig with love

; His love language is physical touch and quality time

; Craig's being words of affirmation and acts of service

; Craig is the one who plans out all the dates, Stan only occasionally plans the more physical dates—hiking, biking, skating, skiing/snowboarding, etc.

; One of y'alls favorite dates is a picnic under the stars

;  Definitely being Craig's favorite because he can geek out; it's the entire reason why he planned it to begin with

; Stan is the type to buy y'all matching items, whether that's bracelets, shirts, pins, body jewelry, necklaces, or just anything really

; You three go stargazing together pretty regularly

; You better like animals, cause Stan LOVES them, and Craig refuses to live without Stripes NO. 7

; I feel like Stan would be trying to be a veterinarian in college, and Craig aiming to be an astronaut (and no, you can't change my mind on thiz)

; Craig loves to use pet names, but only basic ones—babe, hunny, sweetheart, etc.

; Stan rarely uses pet names—hun, sweetie, babe, and, angel

御負け ,,, OMAKE

; Craig is probably more active in the afternoon, while Stan is definitely a night owl

; They have greasy ass hair (i will die on thiz hill)

; They both use 5-in-one shampoo

; Craig seems like a smartass but is a dumbass, Stan's a dumbass through thick and thin

; Craig and Stan fight over who'll pay the bill during a dinner date, and you end up paying for it when they're not paying attention

NZFW

; The first time between the three of you was... awkward to say the least

; But, it's okay, you three got the hang of it after a bit

; Their favorite position is probably DP Cowgirl

; Maybe because it was the easiest to do—the easiest once you figured out where to put your knees at

; You and Stan, chest to chest, while Craig leans over you, hand gripping onto your waist

; Stan likes to look at your face when y'all fuck, it just gets him going to watch your face contort in pleasure

; And Craig?

; Craig just likes ass, man

; They're so competitive, they turn everything they can into a competition

; They'll literally fight over you man

; Stan looks like he whimpers and whines (zorry chat, ztan iz not a heavy dom in my mind)

; Craig is on the quiet side in bed, only letting out groans and grunts every now and then

; In my eyes, Stan is a switch leaning towards sub, and Craig is also a switch, buuuttttt

; Craig prefers to dom and will in most situations

; Craig is the type to degrade you, and so is Stan

; But Stan also likes to be degraded, yet he also likes to be praised

; I feel like Stan would like to be called Stanley when he's in the mood to be more submissive

; Stan looks like the type to crack a couple jokes when being intimate, he's still a bit serious though

; Craig is serious, there is no joking around

; He honestly gets pissed off when Stan starts joking in the middle of sex

; Which works out in your favor, but they don't need to know that

; Remember how I said they wear competitive?

; Yeah, they definitely compete to see who can get you to cum first

; Either that or who can get you to cum the most

; Craig likes to give you and Stan hickeys

; But Craig likes it when he gets hickeys too, it proves that y'all love each other

; Stan LOVES when either you or Craig bite or kiss his neck

; Craig doesn't have a high sex drive, I just don't see it

; Stan?

; I wouldn't say he would be as high as Kenny, but MAN

; It's fucking up there

; Craig is the one who usually does all the aftercare stuff

; Stan is too fucked out to do anything

; Craig will usually draw a bath for you and Stan, or start up a shower for y'all

; Then he'll carry you to bed, making sure to tuck y'all in all once and cozy

; Craig still likes to use pet names—slut, babydoll, sweetie, and love

; Stan's—my sweet angel, slut, whore, and baby

御負け ,,, OMAKE

; If you're not in the mood, but Stan and Craig are, they go to fuck each other on the couch

; And Craig will always dom if that's the case

Quick question, why do you put ‘z’ when replacing the s in words? It’s vry confusing and difficult to read for someone with a reading disability.

I thought it would be silly, and I don't do it in my writing or when being serious so I, personally, don't see it as a big problem because it's not a part of what I truly want people to be able to read. The main reason is it matched my username so I thought it would be fine. I don't know if I'll continue, but I'm sorry if it was hard to read the notes I left for Moon and the warnings in my headcanons or if you saw my intro posts or requests.

AHHHHH THAT'Z FUCKING CRAZY😨

thiz iz not what i waz expecting when i went to check out your blog😭🙏

i wrote this for a friend

The door to the janitor's closet creaked open, revealing a space barely large enough for two people to stand side by side. A dim light bulb flickered overhead, casting a weak yellow glow over the dusty mops and rusty buckets. Laughter echoed down the hallway, growing distant as the door swung shut, leaving them shrouded in near darkness. The scent of lemon-scented cleaner mingled with the faint aroma of stale popcorn and the unmistakable musk of desire.

Phillip Pirrup, the soft-spoken British exchange student, had found a temporary refuge from the schoolyard taunts in the arms of a fellow student, Leylan. His heart raced as he leaned her against the cold, cinderblock wall, his hands exploring the contours of her body with a mix of curiosity and urgency. She looked up at him, her eyes half-lidded with lust, her breaths coming in shallow gasps. The air between them grew thick with anticipation as they kissed, their teeth clashing briefly before settling into a rhythm that sent shivers down their spines.

Pip's hands slid under her shirt, his fingertips tracing the lines of her bra, teasing her sensitive skin. Leylan's hands weren't idle either; they roamed over his shoulders, down his back, and finally settled on the waistband of his trousers. The sound of their clothing rustling was a stark contrast to the silence outside the closet door. With a flick of her wrist, she unbuckled his belt, the metal clanking against the metal shelving, and he sucked in a breath as she unzipped him. His arousal was palpable, straining against the fabric of his boxers.

Their kiss grew more fervent as she reached into his pants, wrapping her hand around his firm length. He groaned into her mouth, his hips bucking involuntarily at her touch. The closet was their clandestine sanctuary, where they could indulge in their secret desires without fear of the cruel eyes of their classmates. The walls felt like they were closing in around them, heightening the intensity of their encounter.

With a swift motion, Pip lifted Leylan, her legs wrapping around his waist as he pinned her against the wall. She bit her bottom lip, stifling a moan as he ground his hips into hers. The roughness of his movements sent waves of pleasure through her, and she could feel the wetness building between her thighs. He pulled away from her briefly, his eyes searching hers for any sign of hesitation, but all he saw was a hunger that matched his own.

"Pip," she whispered, her voice needy and urgent. "Now."

Her words were all the encouragement he needed. He lifted her shirt, revealing her bare breasts to the stale air of the closet. He kissed and nibbled his way down her neck, leaving a trail of fire across her pale skin. Leylan arched her back, pushing herself closer to him, her nails digging into his shoulders. He reached behind her, unclipping her bra with a quick flick of his thumbs. It fell to the floor, forgotten amidst the chaos of their passion.

He stepped back just enough to pull down her skirt and panties, leaving her fully exposed. His eyes roved over her, drinking in the sight of her bare flesh, the curves of her hips and the softness of her belly. She was a vision, and he couldn't wait to claim her. He stepped closer again, aligning their bodies, the tip of his cock brushing against her. They both moaned, the contact sending a jolt of electricity through them.

With a gentle push, he entered her, filling her up in one smooth stroke. The closet was silent except for the slap of their skin and the quiet whimpers that escaped her lips. He held her tightly, supporting her weight as he began to move, his hips driving into hers with a steady, powerful rhythm. She felt herself stretch around him, her body adjusting to the intrusion, her muscles tightening with every thrust.

Her nails dug deeper into his shoulders as she threw her head back, her eyes squeezed shut in ecstasy. The sensation of his cock sliding in and out of her was overwhelming, sending ripples of pleasure through her core. The roughness of the wall against her back and the cold metal shelves pressing into her thighs only served to enhance the heat building between her legs.

THATS IT.