The End

The End

No these beginnings will never have anything to do with the story. Except for this one i guess

Did you know that The Lady Bone Demon never actually lies? Well, that was a fun idea to play with for the third installment of the “Everything is exactly the same but The Lady Bone Demon destroys everyone with facts and logic”!

As Xiaotian scanned his surroundings, he also made time to wipe his forehead free of sweat.

The Spider Queen’s lair was unsurprisingly hot, as it was kind of a sewer. All he needed to do was find Pigsy his precious sign and get out of there.

The thought was all so simple- until an eerie, cold breeze brushed by his ear.

His head immediately perked up, a shiver grazing the hair on his arms and neck, searching for the source.

Lo and behold- walking by him with the grace of an ancient empress and the footsteps of a shadow was a young girl- dressed in traditional clothing, and ignoring him in full.

It took a moment for him to understand what had just happened, and as soon as he did, the time he took wiping off his sweat became useless as he stumbled after her.

“H-Hey!” He called, tripping over himself and his words as he attempted to keep up with the dark-haired girl. “Wait up!”

For a person with such short legs, she walked incredibly fast.

She cleanly ignored his request, as if she didn’t hear him at all. Instead, she continued on her merry way. She certainly seemed to be fine, but Xiaotian still didn’t feel right about leaving a kid unattended in a sewer that housed murderous spider demons.

“Kid!” He yelled after her, only to be ignored again. He scrambled to catch up to her, but only managed to do so when she suddenly stopped.

He awkwardly ran up after her, resting his hands on his knees as he painted heavily from the exhausting run. If not for the bizarre chill that seemed to follow the girl, he would have passed out from the heat by now.

“How…” he heaved, “Are you so…. FAST!?”

Again, she said nothing, stepping forward a few steps to gaze ahead of her.

He looked up, following her gaze. A gasp escaped his throat, but even he wasn’t sure what it was out of- horror? Or something as simple as surprise?

In front of him was a large golden chain tree, but carved or otherwise into the wood was a very real, very humanoid skeleton, with a ringlet hanging loosely on the skull that looked dangerously similar to the Monkey King’s cursed crown.

There were bright red Spider Lilies creeping out of the eye sockets, as if imitating blood red eyes.

He stumbled back at the sight of the enormous tree, which certainly had not been there the last several times he’d been to Spider Queen’s lair.

“W-what is this?” He asked no one in particular as he caught himself to keep from falling out of shock, the very sight of the tree haunting him.

He didn’t necessarily expect a response from the girl- only to find that for the first time, he received one.

“This is the end,” she said, tilting her head full of dark hair upwards, as if to admire the tree, before repeating the action, this time to the side. “And the beginning.”

She turned back to him, innocent dark eyes that didn’t at all fit her hardened expression observing him with intrigue. “Did he not tell you that?”

A shiver ran up his spine, making the hair on his neck stand on end at not just her words, but merely the sound of her voice.

“H-He…?” He managed to choke out. “Who… who’s he…?”

A smirk that befit a demoness of some kind graced the young girl’s delicate features. She turned back to look at the tree. “Why, him, of course.”

Xiaotian’s heart trembled in his body.

The first person that came to mind when he saw the insidious tree called both the end and the beginning was for certain his currently M.I.A master and teacher- but what could this child (or this tree, for that matter) possibly have to do with the Monkey King?

“So you really know nothing?” She hummed, tracing the trunk of the tree. “How unfortunate.”

Xiaotian took a cautious step back, holding his staff in front of him defensively as she turned around fully to face him, a placid, cool as ice smile on her face.

If Xiaotian didn’t know any better, he’d say that her eyes were aglow with an eerie blue.

“What…” he trailed off, before focusing on the girl intensively. Just like Monkey King taught you, he thinks. “What do you mean, the end?”

She expression changes only a little, with her eyes narrowing as she chuckles a little.

“Do you seek to ensure I cause no harm to any people, young Prince?” She said with a slight hum. “But can you save people from themselves?”

“What are you talking about it?” He knots his eyes together, before dropping low into a defensive position. “Who are you?”

“If you want to know,” Her eyes are aglow with a dangerous glint as she turns to her side, hands folded behind her back. “Come and find me.”

With her final dare, she turns away once more, walking straight through the tree. It dissipates as she walks through, revealing it to be an illusion- but once the tree is nothing but blue, glowing ashes lingering in the air, she is nowhere to be found.

The empty torches that had seemingly been untouched for years suddenly alit, blue fire illuminating a path in the darkness.

Whispers followed him as he silently creeped forward, following the blue torchlight into the totally-not-creepy-at-all tunnel.

“Dark clouds crowding heaven,” he heard, “Consume all that dares glow,” another voice trailed along the wall. “Bleed into the sky,”

“And let your shadow grow.”

It got to the point where he resorted to holding the staff in the crook of his arm as he covered his ears, not wanting to hear another word.

Finally, he was back into what he’d begun calling the “common room” of Spider Queen’s lair. He gasped momentarily, searching the room for any sign of the spider demons, but they were nowhere to be found.

Instead, there was only the same strange girl, staring up at a large… diagram, of sorts. It depicted a large mech the likes of which he’d never seen. He pointed his staff at her back.

“Well?” She asked, as if already having had sensed his presence. “Is the would-be hero going to attack me or not? I await your attempt.”

Pushing off on his right foot with an empowering yell, he heeded her request, brandishing his staff.

Before he could get any closer to hitting her, she vanished from view, teleporting it seemed, out of his way. Instead, his staff was dangerously close to hitting some sort of mirror instead.

His reflection in the mirror flipped through many different perspectives, but all told him the same thing, and all looked utterly terrified.

“Stop- don’t- RUN- What are you doing!?” They all seemed to be pulling out their hair, and Xiaotian quickly stumbled back, backing away from the mirror- or rather…?

“Hold on,” he whispered. “This is the trigram furnace! What is this doing here?”

To be fair, he did kind of forget about it in the whole spider demon… ordeal. He forced himself to focus. This was no time to fool around. “Trust you instincts,” he muttered to himself, blinking on his gold vision.

He turned to face the girl.

And what he saw was anything but.

Royal Christening (A Hero is Born, #1)

I found this Risen Shadow/Fallen Sun au by @lavender-descendentheart wherein Lady Bone Demon finds Sun Wukong under the mountain and frees him, so Tripitaka is forced to settle for Macaque when about to go on the journey, that just REACHED my heart, so I had to write out like… like a first chapter for it.

Whatever this is. MK will be referred to as Xiaotian because what else do you want from me? You want me to call him SK for “Shadow Kid”? I’m not calling him SK. I’m not a vsco girl. And Xiaojiao Long for Mei because I just like that better than “Mei Dragon” to be completely honest. This note is because authors be writing these fanfics, using the Chinese names and then expecting people to just… KNOW who everyone is.

Qi Xiaotian was just a delivery boy. Nothing more, nothing less.

He was an orphan, with no memory of his life before meeting the noodle shop’s owner, who’d taken him in- of course, not without grumbling about how he’d have to pull his weight around the shop in exchange.

Xiaotian didn’t have any complaints. It was sometimes a hassle, but it was fun sometimes and it was certainly heaps better than being on the streets without a thing to his name. He was happy to do anything asked of him.

But a delivery to an unfinished construction site- that was halfway underground? He had to draw the line somewhere, right?

“An order’s an order, kid,” His boss, and as far as he was concerned, surrogate father “Pigsy” (that wasn’t his real name, but that didn’t make it any less fitting.) had told him gruffly, pointing his spoon matter-of-factly.

“I can’t have a costumer giving me a bad review! That’s exactly what the competition wants.”

“Oh, don’t be so dramatic, Pigsy,” Tang had said, leaning on the pig demon’s shoulder without a care, spinning around a chopstick with his free hand. “It’s raining cats and dogs! You can’t make Xiaotian go out in all that! Your noodles are the best in town!”

A cartoonish vein popped up on Pigsy’s forehead as he shoved Tang off of his shoulder. “Yeah, I bet!” He’d barked. “That’s why you’re always around here freeloading, ain’t it!?”

The moment another one of their typical childish arguments began, it became apparent to Xiaotian that he wasn’t getting out of this strange request- for noodles… underground.

Unfortunately, his little delivery boy cart wasn’t exactly accommodated to rides underground, especially considering the seemingly constant poor weather in Megapolis.

No matter the season, it was either foggy, raining, or snowing, which made it especially hard for a delivery boy such as Xiaotian. Scientists yet to have come up with an official theory for why the whether was so bizarre despite the location and season, but there’s been talk of a constructing a weather station to control it.

Matter of fact, he thought as he finally came across his destination, ready to climb down underneath the unfinished building and deliver his boss’ noodles, that was the very building he would be trespassing beneath this afternoon.

“Hoo boy,” he said aloud, a little bead of sweat rolling down his face at the sight of the undone building in front of him.

The heavy rain helped nothing, and since none of the workers were out, perhaps because of the violent storm, it looked throughly abandoned, thoroughly unstable, and thoroughly creepy.

He cracked a nervous smile, hesitantly walking forward and ducking underneath a wooden scaffolding, crawling into a hole that looked like it was about to become a basement.

He checked the directions on his phone (all of which had been manufactured waterproof, as the constant rain called for a lot of accommodations.) and hummed unsurely before taking a left, poking his head through a recently dug out hole.

As for what he saw- well, he wasn’t really sure what he expected in the first place.

It was just a cave, with pipelines for the unfinished building above lining the ceiling- but inside that cave was an entire squadron of mechanic-seeming… bull demons, all of which looked exactly the same, as if they’d been mass produced.

A tiny squeak of surprise escaped him, but none of the bull… robots seemed to notice.

Their appearance reminded him of one of the many stories Tang had told him while he cleaned up the shop- the story about the Demon Bull King.

It was no more than historical fiction, of course, but it described an epic battle, a raw display of aggression between two demons, the Monkey King and the Demon Bull King.

Monkey King emerged victorious, sealing the Bull King underneath a mountain with his staff before he vanished, never to be seen again until finally being defeated by the famed Six-Eared Macaque. (The details of that second battle were unknown to him until Tang got another bowl of free noodles.)

He shook away his thoughts, scrambling to find his phone. He hoped with all his heart that he’d found the wrong underground hideout beneath an unfinished business.

Of course, that was not the case.

At a genuine loss for what to do next, Xiaotian just sat there for a moment, awkwardly wedged in between an unfinished bathroom and a freaking underground lair.

”It feels like I’ve waited an eternity for this moment,” Over everything else, the sound of a feminine voice stood out to him. “Is everything in order?”

“Just making the final adjustments, mother.”

Xiaotian flinched, turning his eyes in the direction of the female voice, which was then followed by a male’s.

The woman was tall and dark haired, with an impractical but impressive horned headset and a traditional dress you wouldn’t see on anyone in the modern day.

The boy was much younger, her son, he inferred, and had red hair tied into a high ponytail and small glasses, along with a random scar on his upper cheek.

He didn’t recognize either of them, but one of them had ordered noodles, and Megapolis was a big city after all. Most of Pigsy’s shoppers were regulars. First time for everything, he guesses.

He used his teeth to hold the bag, laying both hands flat against the stone to force himself out of the hole. With an alarming lack of grace, he fell, rolling into the dirt.

He quickly recovered, however, pushing himself off the ground. “Hey!” He yelled, dusting the dirt off of his red hoodie.

“Huh?” The boy’s expression contorted into disgust at the sight of Xiaotian. “What are you supposed to be?” He demanded, as if Xiaotian were some creature that just crawled out from underneath the bed.

“Oh! Uh, I’m Xiaotian.” He smiled sheepishly, holding up the bag of noodles. “Here from Pigsy’s Noodles? Order for two classic bowls, right?”

“Not right, you oaf!” The redhead seethed, slapping the noodles to the ground. “Nobody here ordered your peasant food.”

In the corner of his eye, Xiaotian noticed one of the Bull robots start to seemingly sweat nervously, but the redhead didn’t see it. Instead, he pointed an accusatory finger at Xiaotian.

“Do you know who we are?” He hissed. “I am Red Son, the one and only son of the Demon Bull King, and I-”

“Enough of this,” The mother hissed, tired of her son’s rambling. “We’ve no time for games. Be on your way, peasant boy.”

She narrowed her eyes at Xiaotian, who broke into a sweat as he spared her a nervous chuckle.

She turned away, training her eyes on a little hill filled with dead grass, and a similarly wilted tree. In he middle of tiny hill was a staff. “We must focus all our energy on lifting the staff.”

Xiaotian furrowed his brow. Lifting a staff didn’t seem like it would be that hard.

A Bull robot, the same one that he suspected ordered those noodles, quickly scrambled up the top of the hill, pulling on the staff.

Instead of running like he probably should have, Xiaotian watched intently as the Bull robot heaved and heaved, pulling on the staff, but in the end, his arms gave flying off instead.

The Bull’s body landed at… Red Son(?)’s feet. “You fool!” The redhead said smugly. “You think we didn’t try that already? It’s going to take more than a few robots to lift the Monkey King’s staff. Only those deemed worthy can wield-”

Xiaotian cut him off, shoving his palm into the redhead’s cheek to move him aside. “Monkey King’s staff? That is a really realistic model, but that staff isn’t real, you know.” He said lightheartedly, ignoring Red Son’s cries of umbrage as he walked up to the hill, smiling until he reached the staff.

“You just have to twist and pull. Righty tighty, lefty loosey!” He said, quoting the old rhyme.

As he wrapped his hand around the hilt of the staff, a shudder went down his spine- not a chill, but rather a sweltering heat.

“You idiot,” Red Son said, rubbing his cheek. “Get down from there immediately, peasant! Someone must teach you your pla-”

The arrogant boy was immediately silenced when Xiaotian tugged on the staff, pulling it out of it’s spot situated in the ground. As far as he knew, it wasn’t even in there that tight.

The mother gasped as the staff can free, and Xiaotian held it in his hand, above his head in a mock victorious pose. Whispers aligned into an odd term as he held it, brushing against his ears.

“Sun Wukong,”; they told him.

“He did it…!” The mother gasped aloud, but the son wasn’t very amused.

“Then why is nothing happening!?” He demanded, before looking at his mother flatly.

“Mother, are you sure this is the right mountain?”

“No,” The mother said in annoyance, holding her palm to her forehead. “Maybe it was that other mountain with the magical staff, sealing away my husband!”

Xiaotian glanced down at the staff in his hands. There was no way that thing was the Monkey King’s staff, right?

His thoughts were proved wrong in a flash of erupting green light from the ground beneath him, tossing him across the room, clutching onto the staff for dear life.

Out of the ashes of what used to be ground, a giant bull- who could only be the Demon Bull King- the real Demon Bull King, even with a broken horn and a body and face that was riddled with scars from his head to his toe, the demon exuded power that Xiaotian had never seen before.

“Flesh,” he utters, “Bone…” He stared down at his clawed hands, clenching them, simply to test out movement. “I have returned to the realm of the living!”

“Demon Bull King!” The woman said, a wicked grin on her face. “How I’ve missed you.”

“Princess Iron Fan,” The King greeted in return. crossing his arms with what can only be described as ‘something kind of like a smile’. “The years have been kind. How did you free me?”

In response to the King’s question, Xiaotian’s body was quickly kicked away by Red Son, explaining what had happened in quick recession that was barely understandable.

“I-It doesn’t matter though, Father!” The boy sputtered. “If we have the noodle boy, we have the staff, and we have them both right here!”

The Bull King glared at Xiaotian, who backed up in fear and alarm, clutching onto the staff for dear life as Red Son continued.

“Together, we, the Demon Bull Family, will plunge the world into eternal darkness!”

Oh jeez, The supposed Demon Bull Family, along with their little gofers, the robots, turned to give Xiaotian a glaring look, their eyes gleaming in the darkness. Xiaotian stared at the staff in his hands, sweat rolling off his forehead.

This was all his fault, wasn’t it?

Next? 👀

I Got an AU for y’all today.

Behold the 💙 White Lily 💙 Au

The fact that I have yet to see anyone make an au where Lady Bone Demon and her host have a wholesome relationship is a crime against nature, a crime against humanity, AND A CRIME AGAINST ME, SO YOU’RE DAMN RIGHT I’M GONNA DO IT MYSELF.

Thus the birth of ✨ The White Lily Au ✨

See I already had this very, very bad write-out attempt of it on wattpad but we’re gonna ignore it because it’s an hour and thirty seven minutes of GARBAGE

Anyhow, in this AU, Macaque does his friggin job for once and frees LBD like he was supposed to, albeit a little tiny bit late. I thought it was weird that the mayor waited 500 years before freeing her if he had the key, so for this au, we got the mayor HUNTING DOWN MACAQUE’S GOOFY SELF and dragging him to that tomb.

“you’re gonna open this tomb and you’re gonna like it, you ding dong dingaling”

So Macaque becomes a whole tomb raider to get the mayor out of his business, watch out LaUrA CRofT

And boom, 400 years early, our girl is back.

Because Macaque was WAY BETTER as a villain we’re gonna keep him that way. In this au, LBD plans to use Macaque to replace Monkey King in her new world, sounded like a good deal to him

But how can LBD complete her very nefarious plans without a proper host? Because she was freed 400 years early, her body hasn’t decayed yet, so she still has her original form, but it’s still pretty weak from imprisonment.

So an idea pops into her head. She should get a host! And since she’s got the extra time on her hands, she can afford to be picky!

She wants a host who’s strong enough to handle her full power, but she also wants a female child, as a disguise and to make people feel bad for trying to attack her. A willing host was preferred but definitely not a necessity. Kind of difficult to have all of those at the same time, so what does she do? She adopts a child, planning to train them to handle her full power so that she can have the perfect host to carry out her plans. She sees only one viable candidate for the position.

but so sorry for her, that candidate is an OBNOXIOUS 💙 GLUTTONOUS 💙 ANNOYING 💙 SPOILED 💙 PRETENTIOUS 💙 WHINY 💙 BRAT 💙 who just RADIATES youngest child energy, and is excellent at WHINING ❤️ COMPLAINING ❤️ THROWING TANTRUMS ❤️OVER THE SMALLEST LITTLE THINGS AND RUINING ❤️ MACAQUE’S LIFE.

LBD has her work cut out for her, because Bai He is a standard spoiled preschooler and the Lady Bone Demon hasn’t even SEEN a child in eons, much less understand them.

Anyhow this AU is adorable, with Macaque as the angsty oldest son, Mayor is the weird middle child and Bai He is the annoying youngest who always gets away with everything while LBD tiredly raises them all.

Just Joined Tumblr and my first statement is this.

Lady Bone Demon is, effectively, the best character in Lego Monkie Kid, and, effectively, no one will ever convince me otherwise.

This is the best thing I’ve seen all day

Six-Eared Macaque Disstrack

He was honestly one of my favorite villains, but he’s absolutely my least favorite anti-hero 🥰 so enjoy this diss track! :D

Bro 

You literally a demon 

You know you always be scheming 

You can actually fly 

And boy, do you know how to lie 

Like bruh, when everything gets dark

You know this guy got control 

He got a whole ass shadow monster 

Along with disposable clones

Bro, even if you couldn’t fly 

You can still turn into a hawk, I seen you

My guy 

You op as frick 

SO WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS THROWING? 

Pls explain with all of these powers you slid off into a FREAKING pitch-dark hole 

When literally everyone else on board 

Could catch a ledge and keep their hold 

DUDE 

HALF OF THESE BITCHES WERE BEAT UP 

HOW CAN YOU POSSIBLY SCREW UP 

THEY AIN’T EVEN HAVE THE STAFF 

THEY WERE BEAT UP AND DOWN ON THEIR ASS  

YOU SHOULDA BEEN ABLE TO DO THEM DIRTY AND FAST 

THE BONE LADY PRACTICALLY HAD THEM GIFT WRAPPED 

SO DUDE 

HOW DID NE ZHA 

DO YOUR JOB BETTER THAN YOU 

LIKE BRO 

WHY DOES THE FANDOM RICHARD RIDE YOU LIKE YOU JESUS ABOUT TO DELIVER A MIRACLE 

NAH, YOU MORE LIKE JUDAS 

WHY EVERYONE PUT THEIR FAITH IN THIS BITCH 

YUH

THAT’S WHY ONLY FOUR PEOPLE CAME TO YOUR WACK ASS PLAY 

‘CAUSE YOU’RE BASICALLY JUST A TRASHCAN, WITH LEGS 

AND NONE OF THEM ACTUALLY WANTED TO BE THERE ANYWAY

YEAH BRO  

UR WACK 

MY GUY IS COMPLETELY INCAPABLE 

OF COMPLETING THE SIMPLEST TASKS 

ALWAYS BE DOING THE OPPOSITE 

LIKE FOR ONCE JUST DO WHAT YOU’RE ASKED 

IF YOU DID THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE, THE BONE LADY WOULDN’T EVEN BE MAD 

BRO LITERALLY THE ENTIRE SHOW 

HAPPENED CUZ YOU AND SUN WUKONG ARE ✨ ASS ✨

Y’ALL NEEDA HOP OFF HIS DICK 

BRO AIN’T A SNACK 

HE A WHOLE ASS BRUSSELS SPROUT 

Y’ALL STOP FEELING BAD 

HONESTLY LBD SHOULDA DONE THIS NIGGA WORSE 

LIKE MAN 

LOST THE FRICKEN RING 

TO FRICKEN TANG 

HOW? HOW DID YOU SCREW THAT UP? 

BRO YOU HAD LITERALLY ONE JOB 

LBD, FIRE HIM 

LIKE WHY DO YOU KEEP HIM AROUND? 

WHAT IS HE FOR 

ALL HE DOES IS BETRAY Y’ALL 

AND WHEN HE AIN’T 

HE’S LITERALLY USELESS 

IT AIN’T NO SURPRISE 

THAT EVERYONE TREATS HIM LIKE SHIT 

Y’ALL NEED TO STOP STANIN 

YOU KNOW THIS SHADOW-LOOKING PRINCESS LUNA KNOCK OFF DESERVE WHAT HE GET 🙄✋🏽