Let Me In

let me in

genre. angst.

summary. jungkook is in denial. he knows you’re gone but he still hopes he’ll see you. even if it is in the eyes of another woman. even if it is against his own will. 

warnings. mentions of nausea and death. use of cuss words. suicidal thoughts.

note. wtf did i just write? please let me know if i should write a part two. 

The boy cried as his life was stripped away. 

A lit candle in the middle of the woods, then a moment of silence passed and the flame was put out. The quiet of the night pulled the boy into a deep slumber. Death frowned upon him and with one cold whisper, it was gone. But the boy remained in the middle of the woods.

“Jungkook.”

The whisper of his name awoke him. 

Nightmares had devoured his soul. As soon as he closed his eyes, he’d see the same vision of the dead boy in the woods. The same eyes welcomed him with despair and a cry for help. But he could only ever witness the tragedy. Never could he save him.

“Thank the heavens you’re ok!”

His vision was blurry, but he could still see the face of the woman standing near his bed. The realization that it wasn’t you dawned on him. If he closed his eyes, would he see you instead of her?

“Jungkook our parents are waiting for us outside. They have everything ready. We just need to sign the papers.”

The minute he awoke, he felt uneasy. He knew that instant that he was sick. The pain in his stomach distracted him from the voice of the woman. He quickly sat up and looked down at the floor. But when she spoke those words, he couldn’t hold himself any longer.

The urge was much stronger than him. Before he could run off to the bathroom, he threw up on the floor. The hot liquid burned his mouth and he couldn’t breathe. When he knew it was over, he ran off to the bathroom like his life depended on it.

He heard her scream his name.

The events of yesterday replayed in his head. His parents were making arrangements for a marriage he never consented to. All of it was planned so he could move on from you.

But he swore he’d never leave you.

Once he was inside the bathroom, he rushed over to the sink and washed his mouth. Even looking at himself made him sick so he avoided staring at the mirror in front of him. He was busy cleaning himself, but he still felt his throat burning like he was bleeding from a deep painful cut.

He heard voices and footsteps coming near the door. 

“Is he ok?”

“No, I think he’s sick again.”

“Maybe it’s not a good idea, we should let him be.”

“No! This boy needs to forget about her.”

“You really think he’ll forget if he marries?”

They whispered to each other, clearly thinking he wouldn’t hear them. 

Every day was the same. He’d spend every minute crying over you and then sleeping. Sometimes without thinking, he’d leave the house and walk to the river near your home. He’d swim while wondering if you were there with him.

But today was different.

Today he tried to drown himself. He allowed the water to devour his body. He urged death to touch him. To call him to rot completely in oblivion.

He was this close to the sweet slumber of death, but his parents found him. They saved him once. They didn’t have to save him twice. He didn’t need saving. He needed you.

The rest of his life would be hell.

If you weren’t there, what could he possibly do? The logical thing was to please his parents for his own sake. 

They would never leave him. Not until he signed the fucking papers. Not until he was at the altar marrying this woman he didn’t even know. What was her name? He had nothing to lose, but nothing to gain either.

Except if he tried real hard, he’d be able to see a glimpse of you through her. Maybe.

Maybe.

Fuck. He was sick.

Gathering himself, he stood up and opened the door slowly. He was glad that his parents were not there anymore. But the woman he was supposed to marry was sitting on the floor crying silently. If he wasn’t in love, maybe he’d try to fall for her.

But you were his love. The only woman for him.

He had to remind himself of that.

“Please be honest. You don’t want this, right?”

She stared at him with bitterness in her eyes. Like she was angry at him. But he didn’t quite understand her. It wasn’t his fault. None of this was.

Instead of responding, he kept thinking of the miserable life that awaited him.

“I know you still love her, but I don’t care. Please marry me. Please love me.”

Jungkook couldn’t feel his body anymore, but he walked over to her anyway. She stood up immediately when he was finally near her. When he was so close to her, she could touch his face with both hands. He felt like throwing up again, but he reminded himself that soon everything would be over.

He knew it was hard to act like everything was fine.

He knew it was hard to lie. 

Never once did he lie to you.

To become a liar, he would have to leave himself behind.

“Let me in.”

Jungkook smiled while she held his face. The moment she saw his pretty smile, she hugged him tightly like she was afraid he’d leave for good. When he separated from her, she waited for him to speak.

And so he did. He spoke the words that were never meant for her.

“Go tell them..go tell them we’re getting married.”

She couldn’t hide the joy that was spreading in her. It was so evident that she was happy. He almost felt a little bad. But the moment she turned away from him, he allowed the tears he was holding to spill down his cheeks.

At that moment, he wanted nothing more than to die.

this stubborn heart

The morning awoke Jungkook with warmth and he allowed himself to believe that the day would turn out differently.

His days so far had been marked with pain. Days where all he did was cry and drink until he was completely numb of any emotion. The memory of you and your hands letting go of him was engraved in his head. The wounds you had given him were becoming scars at this point.

He laid there on the hard floor, contemplating skipping another day of work. But he knew better than to actually go through with the idea. As much as he liked to believe he had enough to survive another day, he knew the money he had left would not be enough for him to sustain himself.

When he finally got out of bed and out of the small house, he walked over to the stables.

The man he grew accustomed to greeting every day was there cleaning the stables. “It’s a bit early for you, sir?” the man asked him as he worked on his morning duties.

“Yes, it is. But someone needs to bring food to the table.”

He barely made enough money to buy this house. The house he gifted you when you told him you’d leave everything behind to be with him. But there was no point in feeling sorry for himself. He deserved a life without you.

After leaving the stables, he walked over to his cart. Grabbing the cloth that covered the cart, he discarded it to reveal the goods he would sell for the day. There wasn’t anything in there of great value. Only a few spices, wine, fruits, and vegetables.

The sun welcomed Jungkook as he moved his cart to a less crowded area in the village. As much as he wanted to sell everything he had, he didn’t want to fight again with the other merchants. They all shared a distaste for him. Maybe it was the fact that his sole existence stole their customers.

Unfortunately, he didn’t like conflict so he was going to avoid them at all costs.

He closed his eyes and breathed in the fresh morning air. When he opened them, a couple made their way to his cart. The words that he always rehearsed with a smile were ready to spill out. But the moment he saw your face, he couldn’t say a word. Time froze for a few seconds and he thought he was going to die at that exact moment.

You appeared indifferent to him, almost like you didn’t recognize him. The man to your right was linking arms with you. His smile never once faded while he spoke to Jungkook. The poor man was oblivious to the tension between the merchant and you.

“Sir please be quick. We have a ship to board.”

Jungkook lowered his head and grabbed a bag from one of the boxes that he kept inside the cart. He placed the fruit inside one by one. But he was quick with it, having done this since he was a child.

If he looked up, he knew your eyes would be focused on the man by your side.

He’d be a liar if he said it didn’t hurt.

Maybe you really did give up on him.

The rumors of you and some other man were true. He couldn’t live in denial anymore. The evidence of the bitter truth was right in front of him. Yet he wanted to believe that you still loved him. That those glossy eyes and pretty lips still belonged to him.

He handed the bag to the man without looking over at the two of you. The feeling of sadness was consuming him and he wanted to leave.

When the man paid him, he finally got the courage to look up at you. He had to savor your face one last time. His stubborn heart needed a final image of the face of the woman he loved.

“You’re leaving everything behind?”

The question spilled out before he could shut himself up. Your eyes met his face and you finally showed him a glimpse of what he missed the day he let go of you. Three months had passed and it felt like it was just yesterday.

When his misery clouded his mind and caused him to say mean things he didn’t mean. The fight started over the stupidest thing. But it escalated when he mentioned that you made a mistake leaving your family and life for him. This hurt you and in return, you hurt him.

“I regret ever meeting you.”

The moment those words left your mouth, you wanted nothing more than to disappear. Especially when Jungkook’s eyes met yours and he stayed silent. He wasn’t going to cry or have a breakdown.

Even when you opened the door to leave, he didn’t make an effort to stop you. He had an expression of pure agony, but he kept himself there. You cursed him for the love that left as quickly as it started. Nothing was left of it, but memories.

You despised him for breaking your heart. For stepping on it over and over again. But this stupid heart of yours ached for him. The heart that never stopped loving him.

The heart that made you believe it was possible to start over.

“If you tell me to stay, I’ll stay.”

notes. i love displaying what love really is. something so beautiful yet so painful. two lovers that are flawed. yet they can’t leave each other. if you read this, thanks! i appreciate it a lot <3

home is where the heart is, pt. 1

genre. fantasy au. angst. fluff. 

summary. jungkook loves and loathes the sea. especially when it brings him to a place far away from home. he wants to save himself, but he knows only one person can save him.

warnings. minor character deaths. descriptions of grief. explicit language. 

note. here goes to a new drabble series. i’m excited but also very nervous. i don’t write fantasy because i’m not very good at it. but i’m giving it a try because i’m fascinated with stories about sirens and such. i hope you enjoy <3 

The sound of a female voice agitates the poor boy lying on the sand staring over at the many stars he could see adorning the night sky. The whispers of his name continuously send him to the edge of a precipice. He wishes to succumb to the feeling of her gentle and tender way of calling him over to the sea. Death calls for a sweet kiss.

His life is still as he ponders if he will ever find a way back home to his lover. Doubts scar him more deeply when he sits up and looks at the sea. There where the waves crash, there where he thinks he sees her face.

A welcoming smile and he feels weak in the knees. Death’s voice mixes with her own voice and he stands in a hurry. Eyes with tears glare at him beckoning him to walk further away from the sea. For she knows that if he meets the sweet embrace of the water, not one heartbeat of his will be heard ever again.

Shut eyes and he sees their memories play out like a story. A story that he believes may never come to an end. Only when he feels her again will he know with certainty that she is well. May it be that she has found someone to confide in. A light in the middle of the darkness that surrounds her every memory of his.

A few months had gone by. He remembers it all too well. The day all fishermen of the town gathered near the port with beaming smiles. The sky had cleared from the clouds that once met when the storm had begun. The warmth of the sun allured the men and they were sure in their hearts that they could sail safely again.

Jungkook was never meant to be there, but the young boy was too stubborn to listen to his mother when she begged him to stay. “You’re not like your father my boy. You will be nothing like him. The world’s too big for you to follow him.” These words only motivated his need to sail the seas in the company of his father, even if it was only through his ghost.

When he was about to leave, he caught a glimpse of a familiar girl in a white dress. Her hair fell over her shoulders and her cheeks were painted a pretty pink he’d only seen once. A moment when he confessed in the early days of spring that he loved her. He recalled the tears that flowed out of her eyes and the love he showed her after.

She stood away from him, afraid that if she touched him, it would be the last time.

“Oh look who came to bid me farewell.”

He felt serene when she was around. If she was there with him, his fears found no way to hurt him. Though he grew to fear losing her and that alone killed him. But if he was met with her tears, that was something else. It was hard to explain the overwhelming ache he felt when he saw her cry. Sobs that came from the pain within her heart.

He knew she was afraid, oh so afraid to lose him. In a way, he felt blessed that such a lovely person would miss him on the other side. “I’m not going to die if that’s what you’re worried about y/n. When my father sailed the sea, a storm was already approaching. Look at the sky, my love.”

She cried more quietly as she stared down at her feet. If she looked at the sky or at the boy she loved, she would fall apart. Sometimes she wondered why he was so full of life. Why his eyes would show a glimmer she’d never seen from anyone else? When his father parted from him, he spent days staring at the sea.

Jungkook had a complicated relationship with the ocean. His father had taught him everything he needed to know about fishing and the sea creatures he encountered when he left home. His father was always away. Once when he couldn’t find it in him to fall asleep, he left the comfort of his bed to find his mother.

“Oh dear, you scared me. What is a little boy doing awake at this hour?”

His doe eyes met his mother’s face and without thinking, he exclaimed, “I hate the sea! I hate it!”

A fond smile. That was the only thing his mother could give him because deep within her own heart, she also hated the sea. But not for the reasons her little baby did. No. She simply despised how much her own lover cared for it. Even more than his family.

The way you write your stories just does something to my heart 🥺❤️

Thanks for this! I really needed it. My heart feels happy that my stories make you feel this way. I will continue to write while keeping your words in mind 💖

‎star, ☆ intro #uno

navi memento mori latest. in dreams ⸼ ۫

in dreams

genre. strangers to lovers? time travel au. angst. fluff.

pairing. jungkook x reader

summary. in her dreams, she sees the familiar face of a man she’s met before at the same train station. both have never spoken a word but he looks at her like he knows her. she’s afraid she’s falling in a never-ending maze of unrequited love. only if she knew she was completely wrong.

warnings. the smallest tint of smut (it’s barely there). suicidal thoughts. suicide. main character death. explicit language. & much more that will be added later.

note. this isn’t really a teaser, it’s more of an introduction to my drabble collection. i don’t really know what i’m doing but i have always wanted to write about time travel. i think starting with drabbles will help me work my way up to actually writing oneshots about it. 

release date. tbd

☆ this is an introduction to a drabble collection. if interested, please comment to be part of the taglist for this story. 

All rights reserved © corajjk. Do not repost, translate, or do any sort of modifying and reuploading of this story on any platform.

Dreadful how a couple nights ago she couldn’t sleep no matter how hard she tried to keep her eyes shut. She tried desperately to lull herself into deep sleep. Though it proved to be a challenge when she kept reminiscing about the warm summer days spent with her lover.

Loneliness bared a troubled mind in her when she wasn’t thinking of him. He was almost a kind of cure for her. Others would have disagreed and claimed he wasn’t in any way a healing hand. No, he was a drug. 

Now she felt that the sun had replaced the moon in the sky. Her eyes were brought up to stare at the harmful light of the lonely star. Without any warning, someone came behind her and wrapped their arms around her waist. The scent of vanilla made itself present in the air.

“Jungkook.”

It was barely a whisper. 

Summer days. Traveling hand in hand, searching for a promise of love. Certain it would never fade away. Walking through fields of fruit and life. Their smiles and shared looks found a place in each other's hearts. Settled near a river, drinking away their remaining sorrows. Enjoying the fullness of cherries and wine. 

Kissing and making love.

To be separated from such a man, god that sounded like a crime. Visible to the eye was the look of desire. Though it wasn’t lust. It was pure love and a tint of passion. Surrounded by the wind when the sun set. All she could think was that only heaven tasted as good as him. 

Nights wrapped in warm embraces. Honey paired with lips that kissed so deeply, they cut right through her bliss. Touches that sent shivers down her spine. Unforgettable was to feel his every emotion through his hips that moved to the sound of her need.

Now she must have recognized this was all a dream. In reality, his very being was never tangible. She never got to hold him or love the way she wanted. She’d remember his face, the looks he’d give her.

Though that was all. Nothing else was given to satiate her hunger for him. For him to show her what it meant to be loved. To be touched, to be known in ways only another person could understand. 

In dreams. Only in dreams.