Thinking About This Poem I Wrote Two Days Ago.

Thinking about this poem I wrote two days ago.

Tomorrow Corypheus wiil fall

There's not enough I can do in this lifetime to make up for that.

I know this isn't going to happen but I need the reverse of the balcony scene in DAV (or just fanfic). Where it's Lavellan who turns away from Solas and he catches her arm with a soft "don't go".

I'm thinking about the Dalish conversation with Zevran and how he tells of the circumstance of his birth in the most matter of fact way and calls it the oldest tale in the book. If the Warden says it was horrible, Zevran plays it off with a nonchalant "Is it?" and says it's normal, especially for the boys he grew up with. But! He approves of you acknowledging that his past has been horrible to him. He keeps diminishing his own problems and trauma, and it's interesting because there are so many little aspects of him that show themselves in that tiny bit of dialogue.

Zevran, as a crow, is trained in the art of seduction and it has been one of the reasons he's still alive to this day. He knows it's typically unsexy to lament on how terribly your past has been affecting you. If you tell Zevran you're sorry for him, he immediately turns the conversation into complimenting the Warden.

It can be read as a test of character if one so chooses. Obviously Zevran isn't going to show a weak point to a person he just met, but, he is telling about himself, on a deeper level, and it's up to the Warden on how they react. Also, It's a good way to scope intentions and such. Zevran is still sharing information on himself, but on his terms. He chooses to tell the Warden about his childhood when all they asked was a question about the Dalish. And he sets a neutral tone to it.

Zevran's childhood is not a pleasant subject and he distances himself from it. It's far easier for him to talk about it that way, and it doesn't force him to process what he experienced and how it was horrible.

But he does enjoy someone, an outsider, reaffirming that what he went through was horrible, and it wasn't okay just because others have gone through the same and worse. Was there a moment in his past, where he even mildly suggested his childhood might have been less than ideal, and gotten back the reaction that it's no different from his peers? Or that he is lucky to have been bought by the crows?

"My first victim, as it were." Is that what the crows said to him? How they reassured Zevran time and time again how he was meant to be an assassin, it has been so since his birth.

Watching the new Heartstopper season and just oof. The scene in the first episode where Isaac comes out as aroace to Charlie. That was so real. The hesitancy. The nerves.

The way that Charlie didn't seem to know what to say. He stumbled over his words a lot going 'do you think....do you think you might be..." and let me tell you I was holding my breath because I though for sure he was going to say like 'ill' or 'hormonal imbalance' or something. Like that and the way he didn't know what aromanticism was. So fuckin real. Because even within the queer community its normal for people to not know what aromanticism or asexuality is.

And just that, the lack of joy in Isaac's coming out was also super real. Like, I feel like most of the time on the show, when a character comes out to somebody, the character is recognising it as a moment of joyful self expression and claiming one's identity. But Isaac didn't get that, because there is a lot of baggage that comes along with coming out as aroacespec even amongst queer folks. Felt really seen xx