crypticcanidae - statistically average hound
crypticcanidae
statistically average hound

248 posts

Crypticcanidae - Statistically Average Hound - Tumblr Blog

crypticcanidae
5 months ago
crypticcanidae
5 months ago

me and Leliana on our third glass of wine making unsubtle eye contact with Florianne while waiting for Celene’s assassination

Me And Leliana On Our Third Glass Of Wine Making Unsubtle Eye Contact With Florianne While Waiting For
crypticcanidae
5 months ago
Shapeshifting Lessons With The Gf

shapeshifting lessons with the gf

crypticcanidae
5 months ago

DRAGON AGE info spreadsheet

i've made THIS SPREADSHEET that has different information about Dragon Age media, such as:

· the canon ages of DA important characters · known info about the DATV companions · where you can find the DATV devs on social media · a tab with relevant links to archived lost media, interesting dragon age posts, official content, and other useful things like this sheet

everything with sources :)

(these images are previews. i strongly advice you to check the sheet itself and not these images for updated info in case there were mistakes, i added new stuff, for links and for better quality.)

DRAGON AGE Info Spreadsheet
DRAGON AGE Info Spreadsheet

some of the things i'll be adding to the sheet next are (probably):

· a sheet with all dragon age media in chronological order (+ relevant links) · visual references (official clear images of the companions mostly, + other things) · more characters in the "character ages" sheet (if there's an interest, let me know if that's the case) · and characters' nationalities (in-game and irl approximations)

keep in mind that there are spoilers all over it, for all games (even datv, who hasn't yet come out at the time of posting this) and for other dragon age media (books, comics, etc.) i did my best to add warnings though!

reach out to me (mostly here or twitter) if there are any mistakes, or if you have any sort of feedback regarding the contents, formatting or accessibility! i'd appreciate it a lot! and talk to me to if you'd be willing to collaborate with me for the upcoming information! i could use the help.

and if the link is broken:

if got it from a reblog, look at the original post and check if it works there (in case i changed it for whatever reason)

if not, just reach out to me (op)

there's more information on the sheet itself. make sure to scroll all the way down and to the right to see all of the sheet :]

i hope this is useful for someone. i did this because most people don't take the time to source their information, and i also find it more comfortable to have most stuff in one place. it took (and continues to take) a loooong time to do this lol it was exhausting. thanks for your attention!

crypticcanidae
5 months ago

something about origins darkspawn + darkspawn designs that is lost in future games imo is like... a sense of a strange, unknowable form of "culture". you fight their forgemaster/blacksmith, the strongest ones get a better set of armor and weapons, they add somewhat pointless gory decor to areas theyve overtaken, etc etc

you can definitely argue its the power of the archdemon in that game, use its control to make them act in a more "human" manner, but considering the sentient darkspawn in the expansions, theres definitely more to it

which to me is totally lost in the knock-off-bdsm-most-of-them-dressed-the-same darkspawn of 2 onwards

tldr origins darkspawn designs and behavior are more in line with their "spawned from sentient races" nature than future media, which makes them kinda feel like generic monsters to me

crypticcanidae
5 months ago

a lot of this has already been said probably but what keeps getting to me about the statements around the worldstate decisions is that aside from all the reasons it feels really shitty as a player coming from previous games, it erases the interconnectedness of thedas as a continent

putting together the choices from origins & inquisition, you can leave ferelden with a monarch who will leave behind no heir who at this point will be appearing less and less healthy each time he is seen in public. you can leave orlais with an emperor who has effectively gained this position by coup and garnered support on the promise of restoring orlesian glory through war (against ferelden AND nevarra. btw.)

but sure. let’s say that’s a peripheral conflict for the north. already stretching the limits of believability given how quickly tevinter slavers and antivan crows were able to react to the unrest during the blight but sure. let’s say they have bigger things to worry about rn.

let’s consider the divine election in trespasser then. any of the 3 divines can propel the chantry to the very brink of fracturing based on their approval. if they do manage to keep it united, then you can have a chantry under divine vivienne who empowers mages more than ever before under the chantry or divine leliana who has abolished circles entirely and opened the priesthood to elves, dwarves and vashoth/tal-vashoth. because of the timeskip this is now a state of affairs that has existed for a decade. there is no conceivable way that the social & political implications of this have not reached across thedas

there’s admitting you wrote yourself into a corner with the branching and need to do some retconning to stabilize the worldstates… and then there’s saying “that was all in the South. it doesn’t matter here.”

crypticcanidae
5 months ago

Origins Timeline

Origins is epic in scale, and we know it takes place over the course of about a year (Ostagar happens in 9:30, the Archdemon is killed in 9:31).

I wanted a good reference for how long my Hero had been on the road at each part of the game (partly because this would inform their relationships to companions, partly just for reference because I'm a nerd).

So, without further ado:

Origins Timeline
Origins Timeline

(click to see the pictures in better detail)

So I've estimated that the whole journey from the moment you leave Flemeths Hut to the moment you reach Denerim and begin preparing for the landsmeet to take about 9 months and two weeks. That's accouting for a total of 6 months of travel (you're on the road a LOT in origins, I think way more than the game can accurately give you a sense of) and 3 months and two weeks doing the various quests you actually play through in the game (with about a month and a half spent in Orzammar).

I used the following resources to help me work things out, as well as focusing on the gameplay and lore (it doesn't make a lot of sense that you'd be spending days and days in Honnleath, for example).

Lavalampelfchild's timeline

Grogblogging Origins Travel Times

myrandacousland's Ferelden Travel Distance and times

Please be aware you may need to make your own maps and timelines to get an accurate idea as the way you go will definitely affect how long it takes your warden (if you cluster activities to one region or if you go back and forth loads). But I would say 9 months and two weeks is a good rough estimate for how long that part of the game takes.

I would then say a further two months are spent on the Landsmeet and everything running up to it/you being captured/the Alienage/everything in Denerium.

I would then reckon the end of the game would take a further month-ish from there, considering you have to travel to and from Redcliffe.

crypticcanidae
5 months ago

The right of annulment is horrific in and of itself, but it's aftermath is a trauma minefield too. Gregor tells you if the circle is destroyed that they just send word to Orlais and get new senior enchanters in. Can you imagine that? You're a mage and you're suddenly ripped without choice from your home and then brought somewhere where a month ago they killed everyone like you. Does your office smell like blood? Do you miss your old home? Are the templars harsher on you?

crypticcanidae
5 months ago

Okay here’s what I was expecting from worldstate customisation:

Origins:

- gender and origin of the warden, so they could be mentioned offhand in a codex entry or a line of dialogue

- who they romanced, so it could be mentioned offhand or in a codex entry and, if Morrigan was romanced, she could have a line

- whether or not someone died killing the archdemon and who that was, to be in a codex entry or mentioned offhand, or possibly seeing their grave in weisshaupt

- whether Kieran exists and whether he had the soul of an old god, to have a follow up on the implications of that and to add depth to Morrigan

- who is ruler of ferelden, to be mentioned offhand or in a codex entry

Da2:

- gender and class of Hawke, so they can be mentioned offhand or in a codex entry and so can the appropriate sibling

- who they romanced, so it could be mentioned offhand or in a codex entry

- what happened to the surviving sibling, so it could be mentioned offhand or come up if relevant (eg if they’re a warden a possible brief cameo at weisshaupt)

- whether they’d sided with mages or templars, to come up in codex entries or offhand mentions, and to establish how Varric feels about mages because it depends on Hawkes choice

- whether they killed anders or not, so it could be mentioned in a codex entry especially if romanced

Inquisition:

- gender and race of inquisitor

- who they romanced, and the outcome of their romance partners personal quest, so that the route taken would carry through (eg pardoned blackwall vs warden blackwall)

- whether the inquisitor did the mage or templar route, and how, to be mentioned offhand or in the codex

- who was left in the fade, not necessarily to follow up on their fate but just so Varric could acknowledge if his best friend was presumed dead or not

- who is leader of orlais so that the ruler of the biggest country on the continent can be brought up at least in passing/codex entry, with possible cameo

- who drank from the well of sorrows, because yeah actually it is important which of these two characters is bound to the will of an elven god. Especially as it seems that one of them might now be said elven god. I’d expect this to have as much influence as Kieran’s existence did in dai, ie you still get to the same place but you have a slightly different route there. I cannot fathom how this isn’t relevant anymore

- who is the divine, to be mentioned in passing or in codex, but mentioned more in depth if the inquisitor romanced Cassandra who is now the divine because they have a whole situationship going on. It would come up if the divine was a mage.

- whether the inquisition disbanded or remained together as bodyguard of the divine. I honestly don’t know how this is a choice if the divine doesn’t come up

- inquisitors attitude to solas, with room for them to be very negative towards him on account of all the killing and murder and world destroying

You’d be able to customise this through character creator, and you’d be able to choose a default for each game seperately, so new players didn’t have to worry about the other games and people who only played inquisition could ignore origins and 2 and customise their inquisitor.

I don’t think this would have been unreasonable. Most of this is just for codex entries and offhand comments, and the bigger ones are inquisition choices. I get that they can’t have big effects beyond that. But the codex entries and offhand remarks are what we WANT. They’re what makes this world state ours. It would not have been difficult to incorporate most of this, and it would do so much for the depth of the game.

As it is, we have a major character who can’t even discuss whether or not she has a child because that wasn’t deemed important enough to include

crypticcanidae
5 months ago
Ah Yes Because Circles And Templars Under The Control Of The Orlesian Chantry Definitely Dont Exist In

ah yes because circles and templars under the control of the orlesian chantry definitely don’t exist in antiva, nevarra and rivain


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the southern chantry annulled the dairsmuid circle in rivain for daring to visit their families and practice rivain's magical tradition i know that's only mentioned in the codex (if you find the entry) but. anything like that just can't be brought up? cause it was part of events that happened in the south? and if it does come up. no one can have opinions about it cause that would mean mentioning player choices? like it can only be “that thing that happened. because of that world event. that was resolved in some way” “Things that happened in the South don't matter because we're in the North now” okay. thats cool. the ruler of orlais (between just celene and gaspard) could heavily prefer either diplomacy or military expansion and relations with their neighbours are the same regardless? no one in nevarra has opinions about the ruler of the empire next door? the orlesian chantry lead 5 exalted marches against the imperial chantry (and both chantries called 3 marches against the qunari) and tevinter doesn't care who the new southern divine is? whether she's restoring the circles or granting mages freedom? or IS a mage? even smaller things too the hof could have a tomb at weisshaupt. the southern wardens could have broken off entirely. do we not get to see the tombs of the wardens that killed the archdemons at all? to avoid addressing whether or not there should be a fifth will there be no mention of the internal conflict? to avoid addressing how it began in the first place? i know veilguard had a god-awful development cycle but surely there was a better way to do it than this or even a better way to tell us instead of “no u see it doesn't matter cause we're in a different location now” god thats a lot of words im so sorry dragon age DA4 veilguard dav
crypticcanidae
5 months ago

The fact that we’ll be at Weisshaupt at some point and there will at best only be a generic reference to the Hero of Ferelden is really funny though. You die to end the Fifth Blight and the First Warden is like “damn, anyway” and they don’t even write your name down. You survive killing an Archdemon - a feat never before achieved - and the First Warden is like “damn that’s crazy” and then ignores you for the next two decades. If they found a cure for the calling, it won’t even be attributed to them. You fixed the fact that your order is basically a weird death cult and they just pretend you don’t exist. This is in fact perfect for my canon worldstate, where I’d already decided that Weisshaupt fucking hates Tabris because she’s always doing weird shit and they basically just pretend she doesn’t exist and ignore the fact that she’s also been ignoring any communications they’ve ever sent to her about how she runs her branch of the order.


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crypticcanidae
5 months ago
I Love Speed Runners

I love speed runners

crypticcanidae
5 months ago

can i come over and do this

Can I Come Over And Do This
crypticcanidae
5 months ago

happy pride month to HIM

crypticcanidae
6 months ago

where/what does da2 hint at w the wardens in amaranthine and the waking sea???? i am Intrigued but don't know where 2 look

if you saved the city of amaranthine in awakening, you get a potential quest called ‘secret rendezvous’ in act 1, where if you talk to an npc in the hanged man labelled suspicious lady, she will ask you to break up a meeting between raider captains and kill them. for an additional reward, she would like you to get close enough to the meeting before you kill them to overhear their conversation. if you do so (by walking on the street above them or sending a rogue close in stealth or whatever), you hear this:

“I lost two of my men for damned wheat!”

“If it flies Amaranthine colours, you sink her.”

“Careful, lickspittle. My men and I aren’t accustomed to taking orders.”

“The viscount’s pardon comes with strings. If Amaranthine is left unchecked, they will rule the Waking Sea.”

“Piss on that. What do I care?”

“A dozen war galleys hunting your kind to extinction says you’ll care.”

should you return to the suspicious lady with the information that “someone powerful in kirkwall wants the raiders to attack amaranthine ships”, she’ll give you that bonus reward and tell you “you’ve done ferelden and amaranthine a great service”


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crypticcanidae
6 months ago

have to control myself from getting too unhinged with it when i talk warden/warden romance because i always want to get into the body horror. in a romantic way


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crypticcanidae
6 months ago

"gordon freeman was 27 he should have been at the club" before getting his Black Mesa job dr. freeman spent a chunk of his twenties in europe in the late 1990s. the reason half life 1's soundtrack is all industrial techno is because that's what's playing in his head 24/7

crypticcanidae
6 months ago

I have this stupid headcanon that makes me wheeze I don't know why-

So, say if the HoF was in Inquisition and they go into the Fade during HLTA

WhAT iF they still retained their shape-shifting abilities during Lost in Dreams? I just-

Hawke, staring at the HoF's golem form: what the FUCK is that

Alistair: THAT'S MY SPOUSE!


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crypticcanidae
6 months ago

Is there anything in Inquisition that gives some insight on what happened to the Fereldan branch of the Grey Wardens, based in Amaranthine? Like the whole Vigil’s Keep got under Clarel’s command? Why were they merged with the Orlesian branch? I know the HoF is on their super secret mission (should they be alive), but like… the rest? If the Awakening end slides were retconned (looking at you Justice and Anders), does it mean the rest as well? Is it why Alistair/Stroud/Loghain went rogue? Did it mean Howe and Bethany/Carver also goes rogue? (Okay I can see Velanna leaving, but Sigrun? Even Oghren? No.)

What the hell happened?! Or is it only recent and can be explained by what we see during Here Lies the Abyss??


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crypticcanidae
6 months ago

what do you think about the way dai handled the wardens?

see I feel like inquisition could've said something interesting about an organisation that can do whatever necessary in the name of saving the world, but they just? didn't do it well? (it's something I feel like is never really addressed with the power of the inquisition itself either but that's off topic). tdlr at the end because this got long whoops

like I think the idea of the wardens all panicking about getting the calling all at once is a really interesting idea! but the way the writers went about it was so??? like it just made the wardens (specifically clarel) seem really dumb? not with using blood magic, because despite all the anti blood magic stuff from the characters (especially hawke which is bizarre when they... can be a blood mage), da2/dai also tell us it's just a tool and not inherently evil. which is fine, we've seen that throughout all three games! but the fact that clarel and the wardens are listening to erimond and that none of them suspect him or question is plan is just so stupid. erimond is the most cartoon stereotype of an evil tevinter magister and will literally Evil Grin half the time and none of the wardens thought that was weird??

up until dai we/the characters see the wardens as this group that seems like it knows exactly what it's doing, is always going to be around, is completely necessary, and can't really 'fall' aside from in battle against darkspawn. having them be suddenly vulnerable and in need of help could've been really interesting! it could've also been an opportunity to actually tell us more about the wardens origins. solas has this belief we've never seen before that the wardens are actually fools/potentially completely wrong with the way they're going about defeating the blight, but we're never able to find out why he thinks that or what he thinks the alternative is (this is a general fault with his character imo, they never let you push him because he has to stay Mysterious). there's a lot about the wardens we don't know, and I feel like dai would've been a good time to tell us more since we're facing off against one of the og magisters who started the blights.

it all just feels very contrived to push the 'inquisitor chooses to kick the wardens out or not', so as a result a lot of it just feels?? stupid sjekskw especially because at this point even despite what's happened ... the wardens are the only way to stop a blight? and so many of the companions are like oh kick them out :/ but guys... what about the blights??

on the other hand, I actually really like the fade quest. it's so different from the fade quests in previous games and its really interesting seeing the 'raw' fade. the scene where clarel is dying and blasts the red lyrium dragon as she's reciting the wardens oath and the ledge crumbles as everyone falls into the fade is actually one of my favourite scenes in the game. the whole falling into the fade feels a lot more ?? natural I guess than some of the other quests in the game and is genuinely a surprise when it happens.

basically I think that dai could've done something really interesting with the wardens as a group who are usually the people you turn to when things are extremely dire suddenly needing your help, instead of oh a whole group of people are blindly following a cartoon villain without question, isn't that bad of them we should punish them!

this is off the top of my head, but i think an interesting way of doing it that would tie more into the main story maybe would be to have that corypheus is directly influencing the warden commanders (cut erimond out completely), since we know he can do that, and he's managed to spread that influence (maybe still using the nightmare demon), and that the wardens themselves turn to the inquisitor after hearing about how they survived corypheus at haven and allied/recruited the mages/templars. (it was weird to me that clarel was like??? corypheus is dead tho?? like surely she would've heard the rumours about haven at least? anyway). maybe if you ally with the mages, fiona tells you the wardens have reached out to her for help, or you're able to ask her opinion once the wardens have reached out through hawke or something. it would make the whole 'the inquisition is developing into a group that people respect and see as a source of help' feel more real I think. have the build up to fighting the wardens at adamant be longer and more in depth, with the warden contact taking the inquisitor to meet more wardens and giving us the opportunity to learn more about the order or something. personally I've always wondered if the first warden, or whoever created the wardens, was one of the original tevinter magisters like corephyus. I think maybe also get rid of the demon army bit? because I'm not sure I get why corephyus even needed one if his main goal was to break into the fade. like why not just influence the wardens to obey him into gathering people for a sacrifice to enter the fade like he did with the other magisters?? idk

anyways ajaja this got long so tdlr: I think dai handled the wardens 'corruption' poorly and that helping / saving the wardens from themselves could've been really interesting but ultimately is kind of annoying and in the end kind of feels like bioware being like surprise this organisation we told u is good in dao is now the enemy!


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crypticcanidae
6 months ago
I Know We Joke About Cis Artists Having The Weirdest Sense Of Anatomy, But Also Even When The Anatomy

i know we joke about cis artists having the weirdest sense of anatomy, but also even when the anatomy is fine, no one seems to want to draw women doing normal things

crypticcanidae
7 months ago

i just think its funny that three out of the four dreamers that the demons use to power the fade islands during broken circle are templars. and the fourth is a mage whose nightmarish imaginings are just parroting the worst things mages are taught about themselves. isnt that funny


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crypticcanidae
7 months ago

This shot of Snake is from Otacon’s POV. Erm… Kojumbo? What were you getting at?