Lean On Me | Choi Seungcheol

lean on me | choi seungcheol

SYNOPSIS. in which comfort should never be this hard to ask for, especially knowing that your boyfriend would give up the entire world for you either way. PAIRING. choi seungcheol x gn!reader GENRE. fluff, hurt/comfort, lil angst WARNINGS. mentions n descriptions of depression n reader struggling with it, cheol lifts up reader's shirt a lil to touch them (nothing sexual abt it, just purely for intimacy), terms of endearment, kissing, all the dialogue is literally from cheol lol, very self-indulgent sorry :< WORD COUNT. 1.8k

notes: the cuddly boyfriend in bed chronicles w cheol continues! anyway this is written purely for comfort for my lovely @bookyeom <3 honestly i've been writing a lot of hurt/comfort lately which i love (and need) ugh, so i hope u guys find some comfort in it too 💓

Time seems to stand still when it happens again𑁋the emptiness, the weight of it all pressing down on your chest. It begins as a subtle shift, imperceptible at first, like the soft whisper of a breeze before a storm, until it grows into a deafening roar and becomes the only thing you can hear.

It's as if you hear everything and nothing at once, see the scenes play around you but the colours are mute, touch the world but its textures are rough, taste the air but its flavour is a metallic tang to your tongue.

You could claim you're simply sad; perhaps, it's easier to say that instead of the monstrously ugly word of depression. You hate it. You hate the way it shrinks and folds you into a smaller, duller version of yourself. It steals the vibrancy from your eyes, the cadence from your voice, and the lift at your lips. It steals you away from yourself, and each time you manage to get away you feel like you can breathe again, but then the tide rolls back in, and you're drowning again.

Struggling to stay afloat has been getting a lot harder these days.

A few soft knocks draws your eyes open, and the abrupt quietness of your bedroom suddenly feels more safer than ever. The knocks come back again, a bit louder this time, a raspy groan leaving your lips as you attempt to tightly squeeze your eyes shut like the sounds were just a figment of imagination. But then they happen again, and you somehow deduce the urge to chuck your pillow away and sit up in bed instead.

You barely process the feeling of your feet reaching the bedroom floor below. It's somewhere between the hours of six in the evening and three in the morning, you think. The cold hitting your skin and the dark skies outside the windows don't really help at all.

God, your body felt so weak right now since you've hardly eaten the entire day, and each step you took felt like a hot poker burning into your skin. The knocking seems to grow more insistent the closer you got to the door, and it takes an eternity for you to finally reach out for it with a clammy hand. And slowly, hesitantly, you flips the locks and push it open, allowing the door to swing open into the dimly lit hallway beyond.

Seungcheol is standing there, breathless like he had just run a marathon with small beads of sweat and strands of hair clinging to his forehead. The only source of light coming from the overhead hallway light shines down on him like a spotlight.

"You... You weren't answering my calls all day," he says quickly, voice wavering and heavy. "I came here as fast as I could after work and I..."

His voice trails off when his gaze roam over you, from your tightly tied lips and eyes red-rimmed and glassy, to the tremor in your hands at your side.

He doesn't wait another moment, taking only two long strides inside your apartment before encasing you into his arms and bringing you into his chest. Somewhere in between that he also manages to close the door behind too, and it's just the two of you now in your place.

You stay like that for a while, not entirely sure for how long, but just enough that his warmth is able to seep through the crevices of your body and nudge so gently at something in your chest𑁋your heart.

"It came back again, didn't it?" Seungcheol asks quietly, voice a low murmur against your ear.

There's a small sniffle, then a weak nod, and all he could do is hold you tighter just from that alone.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he continues softly. "Or... do you want me to just hold you?"

He feels the way your fingers dig into the fabric of his hoodie a bit more tightly. That's all he needs to know before he's pulling away and dragging you into your bedroom. He does it all like it's normal routine to do this𑁋to simply hold you in his arms because he knows sometimes words are not enough.

Seungcheol is holding you a bit more tighter than you notice, arms encircled around your body with your head resting against his chest. It's not a suffocating grip, but tight enough to convey the emptiness he felt from not having you in his arms for the entire day.

His fingers trace soft patterns on your back through the fabric of your shirt. Yet you feel as they dip a little lower, your shirt lifting a little higher, and then the feeling of his fingertips barely grazing your back makes you let out quiet, contented sigh.

Seungcheol hesitates for a moment, then whispers, "Can I touch you under here?"

You nod meekly, leaning more instinctively into his touch. His hand continues its tentative roam under your shirt, mapping over the skin of your back so delicately and lightly. It isn't the first time he's done this, however the intimacy of just being so close to him𑁋to a man you call comfort, a man you call home𑁋makes this feel a little more than just okay.

He feels the goosebumps that form from his touch and the way you tense up just slightly before relaxing. A small smile forms at his lips, and he presses a kiss to the top of your head.

Seungcheol thinks he can hold you like this forever.

Perhaps it's a bit of a stretch, or a glimpse into a future that seems uncertain, but it's far from a lie. It isn't just because you melt so perfectly into his arms, or knowing he's the only one in the world who gets to do this (which, admittedly, makes his heart swell with pride), it's more than that. It's the fact that you trust him enough to let him in. It's the way you lean into his touch, knowing that in his arms, you are safe, and he would do anything to protect you.

"You're strong, you know that?" he whispers softly. "Stronger than you give yourself credit for. That's what I admire so much about you. Even when it feels like the world is crashing down, you still find the strength to keep going. Opening your eyes in the morning makes you strong, or just... letting me hold you right now. That takes strength. You're so, so strong, baby."

You don't respond, but your breathing steadies against his chest, a sign that his words are sinking in, even if just a little. And that's okay. It's a process, one that he is more than willing to be patient for, one that he is more than willing to walk alongside you through.

"You're always my first priority," Seungcheol murmurs, voice barely above a whisper as he holds you close and his fingertips dance along your spine, sending shivers of warmth down your back that mingle with the familiar comfort of his touch. "You can lean on me𑁋please lean on me. When this happens I don't want you to shut me out, okay? Anything but that."

His words seem to crack the dam holding back your tears, heat prickling at the corner of your eyes as you bury your face more into his chest. A choked sob escapes your lips, the sound muffled by Seungcheol's shirt, and a momentary surge of shame courses through you.

"Let it out," he reassures gently. "It's okay. You're okay. I've got you."

And that’s what you do𑁋you let go in his arms. Seungcheol hears the way you seem to quiet down after a few minutes, feeling the way you adjust in his hold to roll right next to him on the bed. Your bedroom is dark, with the only light coming from the dim lamp on your bedside table, but it's the first time all day he catches a close glimpse of your face.

His hand slowly leaves its spot from under your shirt and reaches over to cup your face lightly, affectionately, lovingly. His mouth forms into a small pout when he sees the way you're darting your eyes away from him.

"Hey, precious," Seungcheol says warmly, brushing his thumb across a stray tear rolling down your cheek. "Look at me, love."

There's a flicker of hesitation in your pupils. You know you look like an absolute mess right now: messy hair, with red-rimmed, puffy eyes, and tear stains marking your cheeks. But Seungcheol just smiles, a little sight of his dimple showing, and you can't help but weakly smile back. It stretches across your face, chasing away a bit of the tightness that had settled there.

"There we go, baby," he murmurs proudly. "That's the beautiful face I know and love. You're so pretty."

His tender gaze roams all over your face, from the vulnerability in your eyes and down to your slightly chapped lips that he's been aching to kiss all day, but that can wait for a little bit. For a moment, he feels something catch in his throat, and maybe his heart stutters a little too.

"You know," he starts, pressing his lips together in contemplation. "I... I think I can look at you forever."

He watches the way your eyes widen ever so slightly at his words, surprise flickering across your features. For a moment, he fears that he might have overstepped, swearing that he senses you crawl into your shell for just a second. But then he sees the way your expression softens, the corners of your lips curling up in a small, shy smile, and he knows he hasn't.

"Sorry, I-I didn't mean to say that right away, I just..." Seungcheol pauses, his cheeks flushing slightly as he searches for the right words. "I've been thinking about you a lot lately. I mean, I always do, but right now, I think𑁋no, I really want to love you for... a very long time, and I want to do it properly because you deserve nothing less."

His words embrace you like a warm blanket, like a slender tendril of hope weaving around you, and you could simply only stare at him. This time, you let your own eyes wash over him. You trace the outline of his jaw, the small beauty marks dotting the familiar curve of his neck, the vulnerability in his eyes mirroring your own, before settling on his lips and swiftly back up to his warm, affectionate gaze.

Seungcheol feels his own breath hitch from that alone, and the next moment, he's kissing you so sweetly, lips moving against yours carefully and unhurried. Your eyes close right away, and you feel his warm hand drift back under your shirt to bring you back in his hold as if he's trying to rid of any space that was left.

I think, You don't let your gaze waver away from him when the kiss breaks and nothing but small smiles wears on both of your faces. I want to love you for a very long time too, Choi Seungcheol.

taglist (open) ʚɞ @enhazen @haowrld @icyminghao @slytherinshua @jeonride @lockburn-castle @vrnism @weird-bookworm @mhlsymlysn @ryuwonieebae @yeonjuns-redhair @wonwooz1 @woohaeyo @mark-geolli @caramyisabitchforsvtandbts @aaniag @wootify @carlesscat-thinklogic23 @phenomenalgirl9 @roziesmei @mirxzii @bookyeom @parkjennykim @melodicrabbit @bewoyewo

your enhypen hogwarts boyfriend 

tags: hogwarts au, gn!reader, this is the grind rn

gryffindor: heeseung, niki 

heeseung: quidditch team chaser 

secretly (not so secretly) an attention seeker

please expect to hype him up and fawn over him on quidditch match days -- especially on matches with slytherin (he always has a bet with jay) 

“babe i need you to boo jay if he ever comes near you.” 

and he is so serious about this 

mcgonagall claims she doesn’t like him but he’s just lucky that he’s actually really good at quidditch (bc his transfiguration grades are not sexy) 

excels in defense against the dark arts AND potions but snape hates him 

he swears up and down he didn’t do anything this time to get detention but you know better. and he’s always begging the captain to not kick him off

“please, you know snape wants my left buttcheek!” 

talks shit before the match (especially to jay) and then feigns innocence if he’s asked about it 

this is the result of years of watching quidditch matches with his dad (their favorite team is the montrose magpies -- and he WILL badmouth puddlemere united if that team is mentioned) 

likes to sleep next to you in the library after practice while you study 

riki: quidditch team beater  

rebellious, passionate, and playful -- riki is a gryffindor through and through

always getting caught up in pranks. denies ever being inside zonko’s even though that’s the first place he goes in hogsmeade 

like okay ????

claims mrs. norris (filch’s cat) is best friends with him, but he has no real way of proving this 

shy about pda because of his friends, so he likes meeting up with you in secret and passing you notes in class 

…until he gets caught and has to read them out loud

then he decides that fuck it! it’s better to just air it out anyways. not his problem what they find disgusting! 

straight up livin’ that thug life y’all #getrekt

lowkey getting brainwashed by heeseung (go magpies!) 

makes up all his dreams for his divination dream journal but always makes it about you so he can pretend to be offended if someone says it’s fake

hufflepuff: sunghoon, jungwon 

sunghoon: prefect (head boy) 

this hard-working and kind-hearted boy is a true hufflepuff through and through

everyone thought by his looks that he’d either be in slytherin or ravenclaw, but it’s more obvious when he opens his mouth 

he’s kind of like cedric diggory -- super well-liked, popular, good-looking, and smart

he’s got all the hufflepuff girls and gays giggling around him n shit 

“first years follow me to the common room” and the new hufflepuffs are tripping over their feet trying to ask him questions 

it’s okay because he only has eyes for you <3 

haha jk sometimes he’ll tease you and say “are you jealous? you look jealous~” and then backtrack and say nevermind that he’s sorry and he doesn’t actually know what other people look like. in fact he only knows one name and it’s yours. 

he doesn’t really need to be doing all that but it’s fun messing with him 

goes around humbly (not so humbly) bragging about you until he gets smacked by snape for messing around during (but that doesn’t stop him) 

he likes taking you to cheesy date spots, like madam puddifoot’s tea shop or the covered walkway near spintwitches sporting needs where everyone else had their first kisses 

jungwon: quidditch team seeker   

well-rounded, responsible, and dependable -- these are all traits of a hufflepuff that describe jungwon perfectly 

to be honest, he’s really just here for the vibes

his favorite pastime is collecting chocolate frog cards 

(he is specifically looking for the gold and silver albus dumbledore cards that have been out of circulation for years)

he’s a very talented seeker, but everyone else’s praise doesnt mean anything. he needs YOUR praise specifically and will pretend to not like it just so he can hear it more (but you know better!) 

please help him study… he is definitely getting that quidditch scouting from a professional team but jungwon said he might get a T (troll) in history of magic 

he has a black cat named dooly that terrorizes him before he sleeps

you like dragging him to the kitchens to eat chocolate snacks with him before bed, but he gets nervous sneaking out sometimes

likes sitting underneath the big willow tree near the black lake with his head in your lap. please run your hands through his hair! 

ravenclaw: jake 

jake: quidditch team beater  

everyone really would’ve expected that he would’ve been in either gryffindor or hufflepuff just based on personality alone 

the sorting gave him a choice, and he just went with the house that had more of his friends that he made on the train 

he loves it when you show up to practice because now it’s even more awesome! now even more of his favorite people are in the same place

“babe look at this!” while he does a flip ??? 

if he falls off, now both you AND the rest of his team can laugh at him 

loves it even more if you show up to his games fully decked out (beyond his imagination) in his house colors, even if that’s not your house

he never expects this from you but he’s soooo happy when it happens that it motivates you to keep doing it 

self-declared next quidditch captain (and flitwick will give it to him) 

he’ll even tutor you in transfigurations (his best subject) for kisses, because despite being an athlete, he’s also got good grades???? sometimes god has favorites 

“if you think i’m a cool boyfriend, give me a kiss” 

his favorite type of date is sneaking out to the kitchens with you and sharing a pudding cake

slytherin: jay, sunoo

jay: quidditch team keeper  

unsurprisingly, jay comes from a long line of other slytherins

he’s pretty laidback compared to the rest of his family, but always insists that you go with him to family functions (because “baby they’re too boring without you!”) 

you two always end up at the snacks table gossiping with his cool cousins anyways 

flexes by buying you all your snacks on the train + of course covers all the dates 

pretty popular within slytherin house, but only because he’s good at quidditch and also has pretty good grades (in everything except herbology) 

hates the keeper pickup lines and jokes but likes 

lined up to be the next captain! 

claims he wants to work for the ministry of magic’s department of mysteries

“i got an image to keep”

whatever you say babygirl ^^

expects to be holding hands whenever you’re walking the halls with him

requires a good luck kiss before every quidditch match

sunoo: prefect 

a lot of people expected sunoo to get into hufflepuff! he defies expectations 

seriously, he made a name for himself within the house

with as ambitious as he is, it’s not that surprising to see that someone has confident and charming as him is in slytherin 

he’s someone with friends in every house, probably in every year too

he’s got an “in” with every club on hogwarts campus, so take your pick bae. the world’s your oyster! 

he flexes like jay, but instead of galleons, he takes you to restricted areas of campus using his prefect badge 

would actually help you break the rules if you wanted to

“you want to break in where?! okay, wait, let me get--” 

likes it when you compliment his thoughtfulness or talent in these areas 

his best subject is charms ;) 

his favorite pastime is watching quidditch practices with you, but all you do is yap together

mingyu taking care of u during red days... just cuddling cuz he knows ur clingy whenever u have it and his hand on your back the whole time, going up and down for comfort. comforting kisses on your head and forehead. words of affirmations and funny jokes. help me pls

this is so soft <3

he takes care of you so much during red days. one of the first things he'd do as your bf is noting your period cycle. he always prepares before hand for those days. he even has those period tracker apps. you might forget about it completely, but he always remembers and reminds you of it.

mingyu loves your clinginess. he has you wrapped in his arms, soothingly rubbing your back to help ease the pain and discomfort. he prepares hot bags, snacks, food and turns on your favorite shows or movies. and what not?

and he's so so gentle with you. always careful about his strength when holding you. he kisses your forehead and temple, rubs his nose against yours, feeds you the food he cooked, massages anywhere it aches.

he tries to lift up your mood during these days too. he knows your mood swings and how you can feel down these days. and if you get insecure, he holds you against him, softly rubbing your back while whispering praises. he even makes fun of himself to make you laugh. (then profusely apologises for making you laugh too hard which results in you bleeding out more).

mingyu is just such a gf-coded bf <3

bibbity boppity boo (lc)

tags: hogwarts au, gryffindor!chan, gn!reader, just a list of things, chan sucks at potions, you're actually a potions god though, your house is anonymous! 

largely based on these descriptions that i made before and this request

chan comes from a line of aurors (on his dad’s side), which is very serious business for him. he must become an auror, just like he must eat that last slice of pumpkin pie during the holiday feasts

that’s actually why you two met. 

snape had gotten on his ass about the state of his work. there was a lot of “the quality is lower than dung” and a lot more slander against gryffindor. it ended with him needing a potions tutor. 

it was crucial at the time, since you had to have a minimum of five NEWTs in challenging subjects. the recommended included defense against the dark arts (which chan more than excelled in), transfiguration, charms, herbology, and of course… potions. not only that, you needed an ‘outstanding’ or ‘exceeds expectations’ in these subjects to qualify. 

the way it was going, chan was sure he would be getting a ‘poor’ or ‘fair’ if he was lucky. snape literally was going to boil him alive like he was a bat spleen if he didn’t do well in his next essay. 

and that’s how he met you, the supposed savior of potions failures. jk. you weren’t nicknamed that. 

yet. 

one of chan’s friends (seungkwan) had told him that there was someone who did exceedingly well in potions -- just like how he does with defense against the dark arts. 

so, right after he had injured himself in quidditch practice and benched himself once again (by chance, though it happened more often than he would’ve liked to admit), he approached you and asked for tutoring. 

you were going to be a potions professor. he replied, “that’s hot.” the embarrassment was instant, but you’d reckon that it kind of sparked the crush both of you had on each other. 

anyone replacing snape seemed sexy and hot and amazing to him, so you were like the golden angel shining as you got him through each essay. 

it was actually more like love at first conversation, since chan was so enamored with you that he couldn’t help but want to pay more attention in potions. if not to improve his grades, at least to impress you. 

eventually, you two spent a lot of time together in the library between his potions essays, your DADA theory homework, and all of chan’s other classes that you had gotten really close to each other. 

you liked that he remembered a lot of small things about you, like when you had mentioned it was your friend’s birthday two weeks back and he asked how the celebrations were like at the next tutoring session. 

over time, those tutoring sessions led to outside hangouts, then invitations to watch quidditch games together. he met your friends, you met his friends. you were actually spending more time together than with anyone else. 

his friends liked to tease and say that chan was just pretending to be bad at potions to get you to hang out with him more. 

you laughed along, but you had experienced his potions knowledge firsthand. 

speaking of those damned essays… they had such a remarkable improvement that even snape had done a double take when he realized who had written the essay he had just read and demanded that chan recite the knowledge to him in person or else receive a detention for cheating. needless to say, chan got away with only one detention (for forgetting the uses of mistletoe berry). he claimed it was the power of love. 

chan had confessed to you in a super cheesy way, as advised by his friend jeonghan (who claimed to have no involvement in the matter). he showed up to you on an afternoon that you had been with your friends holding a bouquet of flowers (that you had no idea where he got because hogwarts did not grow roses that were safe for humans) and a song to serenade you and confess his love. 

well, he never got to the song because you had (thankfully) stopped him before that and agreed to go on a date with him to hogsmeade. 

the rest was history, really. 

*gasp*

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