Do None Of You Own A Kettle?!

Do None Of You Own A Kettle?!

So I remembered this vid on the whole "who was going to tell me tea tasted different in hot water" and I had the immediate thought of the Void champs so- here have a shit post.

—

Kha'Zix: Which one of you was going to tell me that tea tastes different if you put it in hot water Vel'Koz: *chokes* Y-You were putting it in cold water??? Malzahar: Kha'Zix. Answer the question Kha'Zix. Kha'Zix: Yeah? I thought for like. 5 years that people just put it in hot water to speed up the "tea-ification" process, didn’t realize there was an actual reason Malzahar: You don't have the patience to microwave water for 3 minutes??? Vel'Koz: Why are you. putting it in the microwave, to boil it?! Malzahar: Do you think I have the patience to boil water on the stove?! Vel'Koz: It takes less than a minute! Malzahar: Vel'Koz is your stovetop powered by the fucking sun?! Vel'Koz: How long does it take you to boil a cup of water on the stove? Malzahar: Like seven minutes! Vel'Koz: *Deep sigh* Just stick the mug on top of the stove on medium heat and it boils in like two minutes…less than that if you use a saucepan… Malzahar: You’re putting the whole mug on the stove??? On medium heat??? Your stove is enchanted! Bel'Veth: *Face wing* Every single person in this room is a fucking lunatic… Cho'Gath: DO NONE OF YOU OWN A FUCKING KETTLE?!

Void Gals During Shark Week

Void gals as promised for the shark week! Another AFAB focus post too.

Might be a bit before I make another headcanon post because I don't have much else for ideas right now. Been thinking over Odyssey Kha'Zix though but that might be it for now. Anyway enjoy the gals~

—

Rek'Sai

She's the least prepared one, mainly for the fact that female Voidborns don't have that cycle.

While its an absolute blessing that she doesn't have to deal with the emotional aspects of it, or the pain and annoyances of it either. She didn't expect you to be dealing with it instead.

Saying she was concerned when she smelled blood from you was an understatement.

Some uninvolved village was about to have their entire history wiped if you didn't get her to stop and listen, because she assumed the absolute worse.

Honestly really bad timing that you went out into a nearby village for heating pads and sanitary items, because she was fully convinced they did something to you.

Hearing that its completely normal for your species to go through, and that it basically meant you're flushing unfertilized eggs from your body- she calmed down.

She had more questions about it, more or less the whys of it.

She came out of it slightly upset, because she wouldn't mind having more children with you- but both your biologies make it difficult. She can do it asexually and she doesn't have the equipment to fertilize you.

But she's happy to hear you're happy enough to be the parent of her children, and new ones she pops out.

Though from now on, she'll have her older children go out and grab what you need instead of you going to a village to get it. Because like hell she'd let something else do what she can't to you.

—

Bel'Veth

Despite everything she's gathered in human history and DNA for her birth, she wasn't prepared for this either.

She noticed your behavior change slightly, things got you irritable faster and you got upset easier. She wanted to know what was the cause of it and she was going to get it one way or another.

When you couldn't give a satisfactory answer, she went in search of other means of figuring out what was causing this for you.

Though if you happen to know what she is referring too, and you tell her what it is she's glad its not something dire for you.

If not, it just takes her a bit to figure out and she's more or less annoyed she couldn't get the answer as fast as she wanted it, considering its time sensitive material.

If you were already prepared for the week, she would be less worried about your condition. You've got appliances and medicines to ease the pain, have products to use and food to satisfy your cravings.

If not, she will go out of her way to get those things for you. Its easier for her to get into human settlements due to her camouflage...for the most part.

She will question afterwards if that is an organ you don't need, because when she converts you for her new world she wasn't planning on leaving functional reproductive organs for you.

If you don't, that's fine she'll go as originally planned.

If you do, and even mention about future offspring. She will be a bit taken back, but rework her plans to suit your wishes.

Its not something she considered, but its not something she's against.

You're Definitely Dating a Normal Man

I have some skin-specific headcanons, and lowkey I wanted to start it off with probably one of the funniest skins Vel'Koz could have ever received. Plus maybe a small nod to the first inbox message I got, so enjoy~

—

Your average, extremely wealthy and intelligent CEO hottie and definitely not an extraterrestrial alien eyeball that turns things into dust.

Yes he's a CEO why do you ask? CEOs can wear whatever the fuck they want- especially when they end up taking over the entire company from how good they are at their job.

In all seriousness, Vel'Koz had been wanting to further study the inhabitants of the world he's crossed into outside of simply deconstruction.

Problem is, in order to perform such studies he would need to be up close and personal with said inhabitants...without them running away or attempting to kill him.

So this was his natural conclusion from his own research, a disguise to camouflage himself into society!

He's...severely disappointed on how well it works.

Like, really disappointed- he hopes people just see how ridiculous the disguise is that they don't think he's a threat.

He took a job as well to further help his study, able to have both a random selection of individuals to observe and learn from, and a permanent selection to observe and learn from.

It took about a month before he ended up being promoted to CEO and practically take over the entire company, this business is practically the best god damn business in existence because he's practically learned the entire system and how to maximize it to where everyone is happy in some way.

You end up being the new employee at this company, and when you were introduced to Vel'Koz you had to question everyone else's sanity in the building.

And he knows you knows, even if you didn't give an obvious reaction- your eyes basically gave you away.

You restored some faith in him that; yes, its a bad disguise and its obvious he's not some rich blondie brick-personality with parental issues.

He questioned you in private about how you knew, and requested you didn't inform anyone else because he still wants to learn more. (He did state that if you declined he would disintegrate you so- not much of a choice there.)

Aside from that, he's actually very observant and knows pretty much everyone's routines, interest and habits in the company- yours too after a period of time.

Like he will get you a gift that is so specific and niche to you it's scary how he knew that specific thing from a reference you made in a joke.

When you two actually start dating, he's got work and romantic life so separate that it took a good couple of months for everyone to catch on- and they only caught on when the second you went off the clock, Vel'Koz gave you a kiss and stated he'd be a bit late getting home.

His kisses are him nudging you.

Honestly, if somehow for whatever reason you guys did decide to break up Vel'Koz would harbor no ill-feelings afterwards. So you don't have to worry about risking your employment just because things ended.

After work though he might cry a lil because emotions are new for him and being that attached to someone is hard.

Courting the finest Gentleman

This might be my current longest post- I did not mean to make it this long and I def tried to wrap it up at the end X'D

Who knows maybe if someone's interested in another Gentleman Cho thing I could def continue cuz apparently I just have the most ideas with him? Enjoy!

—

You've heard over countless of tales and rumors about this gorgeous and mysterious Manor far from your simple lil' abode.

How its like taking a passage through time to the medieval period of Kings and Queens, fabled vampires or dragons roaming the world. Like you've entered the infamous Dracula's lair as an honored guest.

How you're treated to delicious meals and the most intimate balls to attend, bound to find eternal love and happiness...if you were to survive.

If it sounds like some sort of hoax to lure thrill seeking people that want to live out some haunted house fantasy, that's because that's exactly how you and others interpreted it.

Not that you'd blame anyone for wanting to seek out this Manor for the rumors. Life is dull, and sometimes escapism is the best way to just make one more day tolerable.

It's exactly why you decided to attend this fabulous event when you were given the opportunity.

The manor certainly lived up to the hype, it was truly beautiful. But it was massive! The doors alone were like skyscrapers in comparison to your average height.

No matter how many people could fit in the ball room, it just felt empty. Whoever used to own this place must have felt the same, why would they need a manor this large?

The answer came with a gigantic beast, a visceral horror...in a neatly fitted suit and top hat, with a monocle to complete the set.

The whiplash was not expected, first seeing a massive monster that could trample this manor in seconds, only to realize he's the fucking host and he speaks in the most polite British accent known to man.

Perhaps the worse of it was the fact you experienced first hand "Love at first sight". Or possibly extreme interest in him that any and everyone else in the room just became nonexistent to you.

It didn't help he treated you like an actual gentleman, from the bow, the introduction, wanting to ensure your comfortability and enjoyment of the event, showing such interest whenever you spoke to him.

Even when other people came to speak to him, he made sure no one was forgotten or interrupted. Especially you.

Don't get started on the compliments. They were simple yet so sweet, how could you not blush at some of them?

Honestly you've caught his eye the moment you've walked up to him. Cho'Gath had a set goal in mind to feast on everyone here, and yet you managed to make him forget that small little plan of his.

He couldn't quite put his pincher on it, you were beautiful/handsome- legitimately. He didn't lie about it whenever he complimented you.

But his attention was on you the whole night, as much as yours was on him.

Eventually he remembered why he even had this whole ball set up in the first place when his stomach practically roared. Not wanting you to get caught in the gory mess, he escorted you out of the Manor. Stating that dinner was unfortunately delayed due to...missing ingredients.

You still remembered the rumors about 'surviving the event', so you know you basically got spared from being an appetizer for him.

He did encourage you'd come around again, that his door will always be open, and you might just take him up on that offer. He was a gentleman after all, and you're pretty sure his smile was genuine when he spoke to you.

Man my brain has been empty of ideas as of late, should probably look around for some prompt ideas or something to get my brain working. I haven't been able to write any fanfics, original stories or even work on my novella much cuz my brain just blank.

Void Gals with Scars

Warnings: Implied trauma, physical harm, implied self harm

Since I did the void bois, time to do the gals! Lowkey writing for Bel is making me adore her, because I fully believe she'll be the type to burn the world down for you (not like she isn't already planning on doing that to begin with.)

Just like in the previous post, you're stronger than you realize. If something small or "stupid" keeps you going for another day, then you're incredible for it. You might not know it, but a lot of people who care about you are proud of you for that. Keep going, even if its just "one more day".

—

Rek'Sai

It would take a while for Rek'Sai to pick up you're hiding something from her, and honestly she's the only one you're comfortable with in not hiding your scars.

It's mostly because she doesn't have eyes to see them, so that's kinda really helpful in that department.

You completely forget about her sense of touch until she noticed the difference of texture of your skin against hers.

At first she was worried the scars came from her, after all she knows she isn't exactly the gentlest. She does try though considering how squishy you are.

When you reassure her that it wasn't her, she then gets worried if its the tunnels getting you scarred up. She does remember hearing the times you've tripped or fallen in her tunnels when you first arrived in them.

Afterwards its if her children are getting too bitey with you, and she is ready to give them a lecture about it.

You have to tell her where the scars came from, and when you do she goes silent.

She questions why, and when you explain further. She's both upset and pissed.

Upset her mate had been hurt in such a way, and pissed at those who drove you to this point

She wouldn't want to leave you unattended, just to make sure you don't get anymore scars. Even with you reassuring her that she'd smell the blood if you were to get a new one, she doesn't want to leave your side now.

She will also have her children not leave you unattended, though that method is more like a dog pile. Can't go anywhere if the kids refuse to let you get up and move.

—

Bel'Veth

Bel'Veth takes notice of how you hide parts of your body, or avoid her seeing you unclothed. She doesn't understand why you do it, considering she's been open and upfront with you on everything she plans to do.

She'll ask why you're hiding parts of your body, if she doesn't get an honest answer at first she will continue to pry. She knows when you are lying.

She relents when you mention you're just not ready to open up to her about that, reassuring her that it has nothing to do with her personally.

Somethings aren't easy to talk about for people, she is part human after all. She will wait however long she needs to for you to open up willingly.

When you do open up to her, its not what she expected.

Not that she doesn't understand trauma and its effects on people, but she never imagined you would be a victim to it.

The worse part of it for her, is the fact she can't 'erase' it. Because that trauma had shaped the individual she's grown so attached too, and she refused to alter anything that changed you.

Its the first time you see her really sympathetic, and comfort you.

When she believes you are okay again after opening up to her, she wants to know what exactly caused these scars to be placed on your body.

She won't tolerate it in her world, and she'll be damned if you ever live through that again in her presence.