Mother Of God, This Fanon Of Rodimus Shooting Like A Fucking Machine Gun (while He's Not, In Fact, A

Mother of god, this fanon of Rodimus shooting like a fucking machine gun (while he's not, in fact, a gun, ironically) is one of the hottest things this fandom ever came up with. And I agree with it with all my heart and everything.

Robot premature ejaculators superior.

Rodimus being a valve mech bc his spike is so sensitive that a few tugs is usually enough for him to blow his load

he used to get teased for it by previous partners which made it hard for him to interface for a while since he didn't want to spike and end up getting grilled again especially now that he's a captain

but that's not a problem for Megatron

Megatron loves it bc whenever Roddy is getting to squirmy or too needy when he's trying to slowly take him apart he just starts jerking him off until he's overloaded like 6 times and can hardly string a sentence together and even tho there's a big ass puddle of transfluid beneath him and even more on him he's still rock hard bc he's got like no refractory period

Rodimus bent over begging to be fragged harder while Megatron gently rocks into him and grinding against his ceiling node and kissing his gestation tank wanting to have a romantic night of intimate connection

after Roddy tries one too many times to grind himself back against him Megatron releases the grip on his hip to reach around to his weeping spike and poor Rodimus he whimpers and apologizes promising to behave but Megatron knows he's lying and just saying that so that he isn't pulled over overload after sweet, agonizing overload until his circuits are nearly completely fried

he'll go limp drooling and begging Megatron to fill him up instead and that he just wants to be full which Megatron is more than happy to comply with pulling him in closer and working his way to his own overload popping through the opening to Roddy's gestation tank just as Roddy overloads one last time but from his valve this time and his whole frame shakes with the intensity

Megatron would go to pull out and Roddy would sob lightly wanting him to stay right there and he does just adjusting them both to lay on their sides where they recharge an absolute mess but they'll clean up in the morning

Megatron also enjoys making Rodimus spike him on occasion just to experience his desperate quick thrusts filling his valve with pumps of transfluid every couple of minutes but determined to keep going until Megs overloads too and with how much Megs loves getting his pussy creamed luckily it doesn't take long enough to kill him

there's just something so charming in that determination and the feeling of thick transfluid trying to gush back out of his valve before being replaced and then some is so debauched that he can never get enough of it

on rare occasions he'll ride Rodimus' spike until he's begging for mercy and gets to feel that fat valve cycle down around him nearly passing out when Megatron squirts

Why punctuation is important I saw a "bed, wed, behead" post with TFP Megatron without a comma between "bed" and "wed". A Freudian slip occurred, and my train of thoughts was unstoppable as usual. Megatron, the bed-wetter? Well, weird, I've never considered. But, eh, logical.

I recalled a German movie about Hitler hiring a Jewish man to help him improve his eloquence. And there Hitler was portrayed as a nervous addict pissing his bed. It is this type of comedy that makes you wonder what the bloody hell you are watching and WHY, and makes you wanna put your brain in a dishwasher. But now I think maybe it's a legit way to portray a dictator?

Not to mention that being high can make your body betray you in the lowest ways. So, Dark Energon can have an unforeseen side effect.

And all that because of one missed comma. 

(I'm not sure if I should tag this as kinky stuff. At this point, it's not kinky, but maybe we could explore this side in this blog later.)

[This post is sponsored by Minimus Ambus, your favorite grammar Na… oh no, not now.]

Oh, I didn't post it. The whole "Megatron's cannon gets around and gets it on a lot" topic's started with this fic about Megs enjoying his beloved weapon himself. (At this point I've started to wonder, can an arm cannon be considered an arm candy if sexy?)

Good guy Megatron strikes again. Evil alien octopi need slaves. 

Maybe it's time to play a different card and give the fandom good guys Quintessons. Friendly tentacle monsters came in peace, and their only intention was to help the stagnating progress on Cybertron and assist the native population to ascend to a higher state of existence. A. Clark's "Childhood's End": Robot Edition. 

(A truly good thing is that I missed with my prediction that they're gonna make Megatron a lower-class worker, while Orion will be a sweet summer child of the middle class, naively wondering, oh why do these poor people suffer on the lower levels of Cybertropolis.)

I've misread (or, more accurately, misinterpreted) a post about the Constructicons plugging into each other. It was probably about them plug'n'playing, but regardless of the method, this medieval picture of Turkish men party-harding and chain-fucking each other got stuck in my head, and I can't UNTHINK it and unimagine the Constructicons having a circle orgy. It's like a circle jerk, but on a whole other level. Holy crap.

NSFW under the cut.

Fuck off, Tumblr, this is historical context. I post it for education. For friendship leaves a vacuum still, which love, and love alone, can fill. I teach about aşk here.

I sometimes imagine Cybertronians' spikes not having an opening on their head, but rather (unlike human dicks) their sheath being made of small metal scales. A structure similar to an armadillo's outer shell. Slightly flexible under the touch and very tactilely pleasant.

And lubricant seeps from each seam. And the climax is not a jet of fluids but a copious cascade.

(But I'm also a sucker for a good cumshot. So a more humanized way is always welcomed and desired.)