I Fucking Hate Whatever The Fuck Is Up With My Life, I Don't Know Whether I Have Autism, Or Sptsd Or

I fucking hate whatever the fuck is up with my life, I don't know whether I have autism, or sptsd or whatever, but at this point I am fucking running out of ideas on how to pull this shit together. I feel like an alien and an imposter anywhere I go, I want to leave but there newer was a place where it would be okay for me to exist to begin with

My attempts to adapt and mask just left me an empty shell of whatever was there at the start, and the masking didn't even help me gain friends, just made my family tolerate me really

All the advice I can find online assumes I already fucking have people to reach out to in my life, all the "you are not alone" and "ask for help" type stuff just does not cut it for me. I am alone in this, and right now I have no choice but to get through it alone.

If I share anything personal with the four people that I talk to (my parents included) that will not end well. I fucking done that before, they just call me crazy and now their reaction is one more problem for me.

I fucking want any advice on how to find and connect to anyone who would get me whatsoever or like, at least not be homophobic and disgusted by the weird??

Shout out to Cat King; gotta be one of my favorite genders.

every gay friend group has: the repressed academic, the ska loving "brawn", the formerly mean girl psychic, the match making anime fan, the astrology lover, the lesbian butcher/reluctant big sister, the sexy cat with nine lives, the walrus who runs a magic shop and the local witch who wants to kill everyone

actually can we acknowledge “if you punish yourself, everywhere becomes hell” because GOD DAMN EDWIN that is. a very good line.

how is it not one person is talking about the Ghost Post in dead boy detectives. imagine being such a mailman in your life that you continue doing it into the hereafter. no eternal rest while there’s mail to deliver. other ghosts don’t know why or how you do it. you are arcane to even the occult

all day in and out you just show up places and shout MAIL CALL and then say vaguely ominous things like “Mail gets delivered wherever you go” and before disappearing into the built in bookshelf. i want this job so bad