I Think We're Too Harsh On Medieval Painters Because This Is Legitimately What Some Poodle Mixes Look

I think we're too harsh on medieval painters because this is legitimately what some poodle mixes look like

obsessed with this baby hippo from thailand's khao khew zoo.. she has been so utterly betrayed by the world

Villain monologing menacingly: MWAHAHA MY EVIL PLAN IS FINALLY COMING TO FRUITION! THE WORLD WILL BE MINE!!!

Hero tied up over a volcano: YOU’LL NEVER GET A GAY WITH THIS!!!

Villain still monologing: BUT I ALREADY- wait what? Did you mean away?

Hero still tied up over a volcano: did I stutter skittle squad?

Side kick equally tide up but in a less sexy position: HE SAID YOU GET NO BITCHES

All of this while being the single mother to a child with adhd, dyslexia, and crippling abandonment issues, AND a SECOND JOB working ADMINISTRATION for idiots who stop going to school at TWELVE!

This is why for the 2024 election I am voting for Iruka umi-

I see your (general) “Kakashi expects children to be half as smart as he was at that age” AU and raise you a “Kakashi thinks children are way dumber than they actually are” AU. His only in-person experiences with pre genin are himself, a year at the academy, and Naruto.

So he’s convinced that Iruka is some kind of god for wrangling 17 half-feral children (and Naruto) into real human beings who can read and write and use chopsticks and deadly weapons. Yes, clan children probably learn a bit before, but still.

Kakashi: can’t believe you taught them almost everything they know

Iruka: I didn’t??

Kakashi: I watched you turn 18 hellions into mostly functional members of society

Iruka: most of my kids were well behaved

Kakashi: they absolutely were not, I once saw baby Shino bite Chouji and Hinata took out Gai’s kneecaps because he stood still long enough for her to catch him

We don’t talk enough about how fanfiction writers love to give character large amounts of non-specific paperwork they hate doing

In one timeline, Zelda cries. She spends her late teenage years and young adulthood sobbing, emotionally a widow by the design of her own plans. She spends years heartbroken and mourning the Hero she loved and sent away in hopes of restoring the childhood stolen from him.

In another timeline, Zelda is confused. She thought the fairy boy who helped her save her kingdom was her friend, and that he would always be there to play with her. She spends her entire youth wondering why her Hero is so haunted, and why he can't look at her without seeming like he's about to cry.

In both timelines, the kingdom needs a Prince-Consort and an heir, not just a young Queen pining over a boy from the forest, so she agrees to an arranged marriage. She marries a man she does not love, and bears a child, and tries to be the best Queen that she possibly can.

In one timeline, her love and loss are not a secret, it becomes a common saying that the rains beginning to flood the land are a reflection of the tears their Queen sheds for her long lost love.

In another timeline, she pines silently for her Hero, simply watching in heartbreak as his inner demons drive him mad until he is merely a shade of his former self and disappears.

In both timelines, her heir grows, marries, and has a daughter of their own.

In one timeline, this princess - not the Sacred Princess but one of the sacred line nonetheless - grows up with stories of her grandmother's life as a Sheikah and the Hero she loved and lost. She grows up with stories of how when you fall in love, you should hold on tight, never let it go, and never waste a moment with them. As the flood waters rise, she swears she won't make the same mistake as her grandmother made. She won't let a second with her love be wasted, so she runs away from the palace, following the sailor she loves out to sea.

In another timeline, that same princess grows up with firm and unwavering expectations of what her royal duty is and how exactly she is expected to see that through. She grows up with a grandmother who married for duty despite her love being right there, knowing that she too is to marry an appropriate suitor when she comes of age. It never even crosses her mind that she could have fought to be with her love.

In both timelines, this princess bears the next Sacred Princess.

In one timeline, the next Zelda is born free as the waves beneath her. Her name is Zelda as her mother couldn't bear to break that far with tradition, but such isn't a name fitting for a pirate, so her middle name is all she ever knows. She grows up free and feral, sunkissed and smirking, allowed to be wild and go wherever the wind takes her.

In another timeline, the next Zelda is born as the sun begins to set over Hyrule. She grows up sheltered in a palace of rules and expectations. She learns to hide both smiles and tears, nevermind any improper impulses that might cross her mind. She grows up as a proper princess, internally screaming for anything more than the darkness around her.

In both timelines, Zelda finds her Hero. She finds Link, or rather he finds her, and they don't let go this time. In this lifetime they will get their happy ending, together, and they will fight anyone who tries to take it away from them.

(Aka: my brain realized that both TP and WW are next lifetime direct sequels to OoT. And now all I can think is that TP Zelda got ALL the anxiety in the timeline split, and that if Tetra ever met Midna they would get along like a house fire in that there would be no survivors)