The Brothers As Customers In A Grocery Store

The Brothers as customers in a grocery store

Just spent eight hours in a grocery store, so here’s the brothers as customers I’ve encountered during my past two years as a cashier! >:D

Lucifer

This man buys an insane amount of groceries and he comes in every day/every other day.

You will be scanning his items for like ten minutes.

He knows all of the cashiers and they all know him as well. He has a favourite and will specifically go to that person if they’re working.

He’s very polite, but also kind of impatient. He’ll say “Can I get the receipt?” before you can ask him.

He also won’t say anything if you make a mistake or something goes wrong, but he will be tapping his fingers against the counter the entire time he has to wait.

Pays with the physical card each and every time this man does not do cash or Apple Pay.

Mammon

He knows all of the discounts and if an item gets scanned to the wrong price he will ask you to correct it, even if it’s like two dollars.

He’ll also joke if he can get an extra discount and make it awkward because you both know you can’t give him one. >:((

“Oh, I spent that much? Haha, inflation is really hittin’ hard these days, huh?”

“Ya sure I can’t get a discount or somethin?”

Always says yes to the receipt and stands really close while checking if it’s correct.

If your store has an app or something he has it and he knows all the secret discounts.

Leviathan

He’s in n’ out in five minutes

Only ever buys the necessities, so he doesn’t have to be in the store for too long.

He wears headphones and doesn’t reply when you say hello. Also doesn’t make eye contact with you the entire time.

Doesn’t bother to bag his groceries, he just grabs them all and runs out of the store before you can even ask if he’d like the receipt.

Satan

Satan’s a pretty normal customer I’d say

The only thing weird is that he buys, like, a lot of cat food.

You and your coworkers refer to him as “the cat guy”.

You’ll often try to guess what he needs all of that cat food for.

Is he a cat sitter? Does he have 12 cats? Does he feed the strays? Does he eat it himself?

On second thought he’s not that normal, but he’s always very polite.

Asmodeus

I imagine he buys the most fruity ass liquor ever.

It’ll be called “tutti frutti sugar shock” and it’ll be like 40% alcohol.

He jokes about having to show ID.

On the other hand, if you ask him for ID before he can make a joke, he’ll be very flattered.

He'll put his hair behind his ear and start flirting with you. (Because he 100% thinks that you asking for ID means that you are initiating the flirt.)

He once bought a banana, a pack of condoms and a pack of butter just to see the cashiers reaction.

When the cashier didn't react he got very disappointed and didn't come back for 2 weeks.

Beelzebub

Beel's the perfect fucking customer and you cannot change my mind.

He's always super polite and nice.

He buys obscene amounts of protein powder, protein drinks, protein bars etc.

You seriously wonder why he's buying a new tub of protein powder once a week. How much does he drink a day? Does he mix it 50/50 and eat it like pudding?

He'll also make you scan an open chip bag because he got hungry while shopping and needed a snack.

If something goes wrong or you make a mistake, he'll be super nice about it.

"Don't worry about me," "Take your time," "I'm not in a hurry," etc. etc.

He will be munching on those chips the whole time he's waiting, though.

He'll even put other customers in their place if he sees someone berating a worker. (Big twin-brother instinct)

Belphegor

Will buy like thirty energy drinks at the same time if they're on sale

Slow as fuck when bagging groceries, he does not care.

He always asks workers where stuff is because he cannot be bothered to go look for it.

Random Obey me! Rant 5

I imagine Lucifer’s fall in the same way as Spikes fall in Cowboy Bebop, with him being caught off guard and shot down.

As he fell from the celestial realm, the only thing that rushed through his mind wasn’t memories of himself..

It was memories of his brothers, watching them grow up around him, memories of the 6 of them lying in the clouds as they reminisced on past times, them listening to Raphael’s angelic singing over a cup of tea, all the good memories rushing through his head over what he thought would be his last moments shared with them.

As he fell he didn’t feel any hatred, nor negative feeling towards anyone or anything.

For a loss as strong as the one he took, he surprisingly felt at peace.. It wasn’t until he landed in the Devildom when he starting feeling that upbringing of wrath, pain, and grief striking directly at his heart.

Random out of pocket Naruto tweets (filler post while I work on Naruto Headcanons)

REAL THO

HE GETS DOWN, HE DONT PLAY 🗣️⁉️⁉️⁉️

Literally Mammon

Probably Mephistopheles interviewing him for something or maybe Levi for a podcast 😂

I SLOVE YOU SO MUCH FOR BLESSING MY EYES WITH THIS

WORDS CANT EXPLAIN HOW HAPLY I WAS TO SEE THIS ON MY FEED IM LEGIT TWEAKING OUT RN OVER THIS

2000's punk Beelzebub.