Villain And Violent, Infant And Innocent

“Villain and violent, Infant and innocent”

Kisame Hoshigaki 1/6 scale figure - Rocket Toys (2024)

I always thought he made Metal with mitosis 😭😭 Like he saw everyone else having children and didn’t wanna feel left out, so he just split himself and made Metal

My theory on where Mini-Lee came from

So we’ve all read Chapter 700 by now, and as such, we all know that Lee is training a new big browed child that looks suspiciously just like him, right?

What we’re all asking is “Where did he come from? Is he actually Lee’s child? Is Tenten the mother?”

Well, I was curious too, so I set off to find the answer, and what I discovered is probably the most shocking plot twist in all fiction. Remember Neji? Tall, long hair, kinda corpsey?

Yeah, this guy.

Anyways, after he died and Naruto shared began to spread chakra to everyone, Lee was the one attending to his corpse before going off and being a complete badass. But what did he do with that corpse? I re-read and re-watched the scene for several hours, until noticing something peculiar. Take a look for yourself.

Lee stole Neji’s eyebrows.

Everyone has seen this already, and we all just thought it was a morbidly hilarious animation goof, but what if there was actually more to it this entire time? 

What if Lee took those eyebrows and grew a child out of them? 

This would completely explain where the child came from, and it would also explain why there’s always a child who mysteriously appears in Konoha, with large round eyes, and big bushy eyebrows, that has poor chakra control and excels in Taijutsu. Each generation harvests, and cultivates the eyebrows of the dead, until they form a construct made out of them, and then trains it to do the same when it’s time for a new one to be made. Yep.

hes traumatized miserable older and sexy i’ve GOT to fuck him

i wanted to make a couple of headcanons about the imaginary chunin exam, but i started with silly jokes. + an alternate universe where they have twitter and smartphones.

warning: bad language, probably sensitive content.

Attempting Sex…with Tobi…

Akatsuki Masterlist

Taglist: @ppg-artss @lovelygeniegirl1012 @mercymccann @kakeisumire @aoi-ajisai @mechmoucha @barbellina @nightingaleflow @bonchin

A/N: You try to initiate sex with Tobi, but unfortunately it’s hard since Tobi is…well…Tobi…

TW: Hand job, oral sex, mommy kink, breast sucking, getting caught, explicit. Minors DNI 18+.

You dragged Tobi to your room, wearing a sexy silk f/c robe. Tonight was gonna be the night.

“Where are we going, Y/N-Chan?” Tobi asked. You giggled. “You’ll see…” You slowly opened the door to your room and lead Tobi inside.

He gasped at the sight as you closed the door behind you. The room was adorned with candles. The rose petals on the floor lead straight to the bed.

“Ooooh, are we having a party?” Tobi asks eagerly. “We sure are…” you purred. You sat Tobi on the bed and stood in front of him.

You tugged on the belt of your robe and let it fall to the floor to reveal your sexy lingerie. Tobi gasped again, making you smirk. “You like?”

“Yes! It’s so pretty!” Tobi cooed. You sat down on his lap to straddle him. You place a hand on your breast as you flash Tobi a sexy smile. “You wanna touch them?”

Tobi reaches his hands towards your breasts as he nods eagerly. “Oooh! Can I?” You chuckle at his eagerness. “Yes Tobi!”

Tobi grabbed your breasts with both hands and squeezed them. You wrapped your arms around his neck and closed your eyes, as you took in the sensations of his touch. You let out a soft moan as the feeling of arousal starts to take over.

“They’re so soft! Almost like gumdrops!” Tobi cooed. You sweatdropped. And just like that, the mood died.

‘Okay okay…let’s just try something else…’ you thought. You skillfully unhook your bra with one hand, letting it fall to the floor. “How bout’ a taste Tobi?” You offered.

Tobi giggled. “Yes please!” You shift closer to Tobi as he partially lifted up his mask to reveal his lips. You raised a brow. ‘Is he not gonna take off his mask?’

“-Oooh!” You were snapped out of your thoughts when you felt Tobi’s lips suck your nipples. Your eyes fluttered shut as you moaned at the sensation of Tobi’s warm tongue, coated your nubs.

You threw your head back as your fingers glide through his dark hair in appreciation. ‘Whew! That tongue can work! Nice to know that mouth is good for something besides talking,’ you thought.

You smiled in satisfaction as Tobi removed his lips off your breasts with a loud POP. You hummed as you opened your eyes. “That was nice, right?”

“Yes! Thanks for the yummy milk, Y/N-chan! It was so good!” Tobi sang. You deadpanned. The feeling of arousal was now replaced with pure cringe.

You groan as you pinch the bridge of your nose. Tobi tilted his head in confusion. “Is something wrong?” You sighed. “Tobi…do you have any idea what’s going on?” “We’re playing a game aren’t we?” Tobi asked.

You decided to give it to him straight despite yours flushed cheeks. “Tobi, I love you really much. And I wanted to show you that…physically…you get it now?” You say knowingly.

“Ohhhh! You mean sex, right?” Tobi asked. You nodded as you blushed. “Yes Tobi. So do you think we could tone down the silliness for this one moment together?”

Tobi nodded eagerly. “Okay, Y/N-Chan! I’ll be good!” You giggled. “Okay, then lay down. I’ll give you a hand job,” you say with a wink.

Tobi giggled as he peeled off his pants and boxers before he laid back on the bed. Your eyes lit up at the sight of his 5 inch dick.

‘Wowwww! Tobi’s packing meat…who knew?!’ You thought. You grab a bottle of lube and squeeze it onto your hand.

You bring your hand to Tobi’s dick and begin to give him a few strokes. Tobi’s voice shuddered.

“Ooh…ohohohoho! That feels good~!” Tobi squeals. You smirk at the reaction. Now you were getting somewhere. “Feels good, right?”

“It tickles mommy!” Tobi cooed. Your eyes lit up in amusement as you continued to pump his shaft. “‘Mommy?’ I had no idea you had a mommy kink, Tobi! Want me to take care of you?”

“Yes, please~” Tobi moaned desperately. He partially lifted up his mask to reveal his lips. He then proceeded to suck his thumb like a baby as he moaned.

You deadpanned as you stopped the hand job. You were completely turned off. Tobi was taking his mommy kink way too far. ‘Okay let’s try something else…’ you thought.

You get on top of Tobi, positioning yourself so that your head was over his dick. “I’m gonna make you feel good now, okay?” You say. “Can’t wait!” Tobi cheered. You rolled your eyes.

You fluttered your eyes shut as you brought your lips to Tobi’s dick. You slowly start to suck him off.

“WHAHAHAHA!”

“HRRRRK-!”

Tobi squealed as he instantly came inside your mouth. His hips jerked upward, causing his dick to hit the back of your throat.

You took his dick out of your mouth and coughed, spitting the cum onto the floor. “Whew! That feels so much better! Thanks Y/N-chan!” Tobi sang.

You stared at him incredulously. ‘He didn’t even last five seconds…what on earth?!’ You thought.

You quickly shake it off. “Why don’t we skip to the sex?” Tobi clapped his hands. “Oooh! Fun!” You shake off the cringe and immediately instruct him to get on top of you so that he could ride you from the back. (You had a feeling that he wouldn’t be able to find your vagina).

Tobi slips his dick into your back entrance. You sigh blissfully at the fullness. Maybe this could be a pleasurable experience.

“Giddy up, mommy!” Tobi cheered. You deadpanned once again. If it were possible to die of cringe, you would have by now…

You turn your head back to glare at him. “Tobi! Sex is supposed to be quiet,” you hissed. “Aww but I wanna play! Now giddy up!” Tobi cheered again.

He starts rolling his hips rapidly, shoving his dick deep into your back entrance. You grip the sheets as you let out moans of both pleasure and pain while Tobi cheered.

You let out a yelp when you heard banging on the walls. “TOBI! Shut your mouth! I’m trying to sleep, hm!” It was Deidara. You froze. You forgot how thin the walls were. ‘Maybe it’s best to stop and find a hotel some other night?’ You thought.

Tobi turned to the walls. “Sorry, Deidara! Y/N and I were just having sex! We’ll try to keep it down!” He called.

You widened your eyes, completely mortified as your cheeks were set ablaze. “Yeah, right!” Deidara laughed.

“Did someone say sex?!” It was Hidan’s voice you now heard. You covered your face. “Oh my god…!” “Tobi says that he’s fucking Y/N,” Deidara says.

“WHAT? HOW COME THAT LOSER GETS TO CLAP THOSE CHEEKS?!” Hidan yelled out. “Looks like our little Tobi is all grown up,” you heard Kisame say in a teasing voice. “Both of you stop that. It’s none of our business,” you heard Itachi say.

Tears left your eyes as your face was on fire. All you wanted was a peaceful, quiet, romantic night! Now the entire base knew that you were having sex!

“Don’t be sad, Y/N chan! I’ll ride you faster if you like!” Tobi sang. “No! Fuck you, Tobi!” You cried. “But you are,” Tobi says.

You growled furiously. “TOBI! GET OUT OF ME!” “Giddy up, mommy!” Tobi cheered as he rapidly thrusted into you again. You cried and moaned as you gripped the pillows.

You cried for Tobi to stop but he just kept going. “Damn! Tobi must be getting that bitch wet! That’s it I’m coming in!” Hidan laughed. “Nooooooooo!” You wailed.

You heard Hidan banging on the door. “Tobi get out of me!” You cried. “But I’m so close!” Tobi moans. Your face was now redder than hell itself. “TOBI IF YOU DON’T PULL OUT-!”

“WEEEEEEEEEEEE!” Tobi cheered as he dumped his whole load inside of you. You whined at the sticky goop that filled your entire back entrance. Tobi finally pulled out.

“Look mommy! I covered you in milk!” Tobi cheered. “FUCK YOU TOBI! ITS OVER!” You roared. “I HATE THIS!”

“Don’t be sad, Y/N-Chan! Cmon let’s go for one more round!” Tobi cheered. With that, he shoves his dick back into your hole. “NOOOOOOOOO!” You wailed.

Tobi squealed and cheered as he rapidly thrusted into you. You screamed in pain as more tears soak your pillows. “TOBI IT HURTS! STOP!” Tobi stops thrusting. “I can’t! I’m stuck inside of you! It’s very tight in there! Hee hee!” You widened your eyes in horror.

That was when you heard a booming laughter come from Kisame and Deidara. Immediately followed by Itachi. You thought you felt your heart stop because Itachi’s laughter was the scariest thing you have ever heard. You didn’t think he was capable of doing so. But now all respect you had for him was officially gone.

Now you were furious as you squirmed. “GET OUT OF ME TOBI! GET OUT!” You roared as tears continued to soak the sheets. “Dont tug so hard! You’ll give me a boo boo!” Tobi whined. You buried your hot face in the pillow and hysterically screamed from both the pain and the embarrassment.

That was when you heard a loud bang. You and Tobi turned seeing a red scythe has poked through the door, creating a hole. The scythe pulled out revealing Hidan. He gave you a manic grin.

“Open up bitch! I’m clapping those cheeks next! And that pussy better still be tight for me!” He laughed.

You didn’t know whether to feel mortified or relieved. Maybe anyone would be a better experience than Tobi. But you weren’t sure if you were even gonna recover after this…